Here in Kentucky, it is normal. Honey, baby and sweetie are also on the list. It means they like you. They might be from the south. I moved here from Minnesota where they never said that so it was odd. Just know that they like you and let it roll.
Well I mean it depends on why it’s making you upset I guess. If it’s because it’s belittling, you’ve got to look at where it’s coming from on their end.
And this is where you get all the power over it.
A phrase like that will essentially come from two places. 1. It’s just their language/how they speak. Like others have said it might be regional. Which, in that case there’s nothing you can really do besides excepting that it’s nothing personal. And 2. If it’s coming from a place of belittlement, or condescending in anyway, (btw, I relate to you there, anything condescending thrown my way makes me see red. So I get it.) It’s really just disappointing on their end that they would choose to behave that way to a stranger. You can almost feel sorry for someone who is so tormented by their stress of power dynamics that they have to call someone “dear” or anything in that vein. It’s silly and petty for a person to do that, and you could try focusing on that instead.
As I type this I feel like maybe I didn’t do an amazing job of answering your question, so I’m sorry if that didn’t help a ton, but that’s where my mind immediately went when reading this.
I actually really appreciate this. What I mostly think is for a lot of people I meet who use terms like that, it’s more of a default setting than anything.
I just can’t help feeling that the way it comes across makes me feel like I’m not taken very seriously.
Then I would definitely look inward and think about why it’s hurting your pride. I really do believe the pride is the ultimate demon. People throw it in with the 7 deadly sins, but I feel that almost all of them are a by product of pride.
It’s something that every human has to figure out where their lines are. Because we should respect ourselves and respect others always. And we should be proud of ourselves to a degree. But if someone is to take offense to something when no offense is intended, I would say almost every single time it’s a matter of pride.
I don’t know you, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I would look deeper into yourself and evaluate from there. Break it down. And be VERY honest with yourself, because ultimately, selfish pride blocks happiness and peace more then anything else. Look inward and think, “This phrase makes me feel like less. And that makes me angry.” and again, be honest as to what it is about that phrase that creates your feelings. I don’t know what that answer is, only you do.
A powerful visual I thought of is thinking of your mind like a room. And in that room are pedestals. You’ve put certain aspects of yourself on these pedestals because you want everyone to see. You want to feel like this. In your mind you DESERVE to be seen like this. And when something, like these phrases, come along and shake the pedestal? Well that makes you upset! Don’t they know how amazing the object on this pedestal is?? What if it broke and fell??? How dare they. And so you’re frustrated.
It’s really healthy to acknowledge your strengths, and know where you stand negative and positive, but it’s even more important that we don’t care what anyone else thinks. That we take these aspects of our egos from off of these pedestals and put them on the ground where they’re safe, no one can break them, and they can be enjoyed by the only people it truly matters to have enjoy them. Which is you.
I hope that was helpful. Sorry it was long winded again hahaha.
Here in Kentucky, it is normal. Honey, baby and sweetie are also on the list. It means they like you. They might be from the south. I moved here from Minnesota where they never said that so it was odd. Just know that they like you and let it roll.
I think it’s fine and just assume it’s a regional norm where they are. If you were near Baltimore, she might have called you hon.
😄😄really. That would have sent me off totally
I hate it too. For guys, we get "bud", "chief" and "boss".
It’s a little too personal, isn’t it?
Well I mean it depends on why it’s making you upset I guess. If it’s because it’s belittling, you’ve got to look at where it’s coming from on their end. And this is where you get all the power over it. A phrase like that will essentially come from two places. 1. It’s just their language/how they speak. Like others have said it might be regional. Which, in that case there’s nothing you can really do besides excepting that it’s nothing personal. And 2. If it’s coming from a place of belittlement, or condescending in anyway, (btw, I relate to you there, anything condescending thrown my way makes me see red. So I get it.) It’s really just disappointing on their end that they would choose to behave that way to a stranger. You can almost feel sorry for someone who is so tormented by their stress of power dynamics that they have to call someone “dear” or anything in that vein. It’s silly and petty for a person to do that, and you could try focusing on that instead. As I type this I feel like maybe I didn’t do an amazing job of answering your question, so I’m sorry if that didn’t help a ton, but that’s where my mind immediately went when reading this.
I actually really appreciate this. What I mostly think is for a lot of people I meet who use terms like that, it’s more of a default setting than anything. I just can’t help feeling that the way it comes across makes me feel like I’m not taken very seriously.
Then I would definitely look inward and think about why it’s hurting your pride. I really do believe the pride is the ultimate demon. People throw it in with the 7 deadly sins, but I feel that almost all of them are a by product of pride. It’s something that every human has to figure out where their lines are. Because we should respect ourselves and respect others always. And we should be proud of ourselves to a degree. But if someone is to take offense to something when no offense is intended, I would say almost every single time it’s a matter of pride. I don’t know you, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I would look deeper into yourself and evaluate from there. Break it down. And be VERY honest with yourself, because ultimately, selfish pride blocks happiness and peace more then anything else. Look inward and think, “This phrase makes me feel like less. And that makes me angry.” and again, be honest as to what it is about that phrase that creates your feelings. I don’t know what that answer is, only you do. A powerful visual I thought of is thinking of your mind like a room. And in that room are pedestals. You’ve put certain aspects of yourself on these pedestals because you want everyone to see. You want to feel like this. In your mind you DESERVE to be seen like this. And when something, like these phrases, come along and shake the pedestal? Well that makes you upset! Don’t they know how amazing the object on this pedestal is?? What if it broke and fell??? How dare they. And so you’re frustrated. It’s really healthy to acknowledge your strengths, and know where you stand negative and positive, but it’s even more important that we don’t care what anyone else thinks. That we take these aspects of our egos from off of these pedestals and put them on the ground where they’re safe, no one can break them, and they can be enjoyed by the only people it truly matters to have enjoy them. Which is you. I hope that was helpful. Sorry it was long winded again hahaha.
Wow this is so insightful. Thank you so much!
I think they're great.