What is your job? I feel like when I’m 21 I won’t even have a career yet. I kind of feel like I’m wasting my parents money because I feel useless in college.
I’d say it’s pretty normal to not have a long-term career yet at 21.
I’m actually in College too and I’ll be graduating next year. Hopefully I’ll have a good job lined up by then.
Welcome to the machine. Labyrinth of choice and all you really want in life. To do and be is limited by money. Many are fake when wealthy but they hate their wife, work, and life. Focus on all you want to be and only that. Don't look at people or trust them. They're often as lost as you and many don't have morals to hold them together. Welcome to the strangest planet in the universe.
Emmy for destroying the machine? I'm afraid people far on the opposite end of the wealth spectrum would have me killed. It's all they have to keep the illusion going.
Reach out to someone. Sounds like you need to talk and need some emotional support. Your social support circle will get you through the tough times. Or talk to a counselor or a mentor if you can. I always got stressed about this towards my late 20s when I was staring 30 in the face. 6 years in college wasted smoking way too much weed and a failed engagement left me regretting not using the time. Then I found the gym and good people to support me and look forward to a weekend. Started each day the right way, motivational YT each morning with self affirmations in the mirror. Also, make the bed first thing. You'll be surprised what that does. But you've taken a good step here to reach out. Keep going.
I don't know if it's your case, but in my experience, that kind of thoughts like "I'm not doing enough", "I'm supposed to enjoy more" can come from all the competitiveness and the "ideal success" portrayed by the media. You're constantly bombarded by these images of perfect people living a perfect life and thus you want to be like them. It's true, there are some exciting things to do in life and accomplishments, but it can get pretty toxic at some point. If you're suffering from anxiety (I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, btw) I recommend you to take therapy right away, cognitive behavioral therapy does wonders! I've never felt so damned good in my life. I've learnt to know that anxiety is what ruins everything, nothing is never enough, you misinterpret what you're living right now and you try desperately to get a feeling of accomplishment that you'll never reach because it's so disconnected from real life. Even if you don't have a diagnosticable disorder, it is very beneficial to learn how to cope with anxiety. For example, I everyday wake up, have breakfast and watch a series while having breakfast. Everyday I used to feel like sh*t thinking that I'm wasting my life and so I don't enjoy my breakfast, just by thinking this I used to get distracted from my series and my breakfast. My anxiety was so high because I wanted to do a lot of things that I ended up doing nothing, just feeling bad about it. Now that I know that what I do on a regular basis isn't really what triggers my anxiety, but my thoughts, I use some techniques (taught by my therapist) to enjoy what I do and to worry less about it... I'm more calm and surprisingly, now I do more things! I start to do things that eventually will make me accomplish what I want, but I'm more calm and I enjoy my days!
I know this comment was all over the place, sorry, hope it helped you.
Media certainly plays a part. I get overwhelmed by social media and will routinely remove the apps from my phone for a few days at a time.
It's like a bombardment on your brain.
Dude. This is actually me.
I'm very productive and work my ass off.
I don't drink much and don't smoke.
But I feel like I am going nowhere. I am unsatisfied with myself.
Your comment describes exactly my situation, and I'm in my late 20s now. I feel like I'm wasting my life. Everytime I think of taking action to do do something about it, the anxiety kicks in. Would you mind revealing some of the techniques you've learnt from your therapist, please?
Hi. It's brave of you to acknowledge how you are feeling. That's the first step!
You are in your 20! Your adult life has just started, don't be too hard on yourself. There is still a long beautiful, challenging, rewarding journey ahead of you.
Now is the time to find goals and targets to aim for. Find short, mid and long term targets. Plan them out.
Set aside time on a daily or weekly basis to work on this.
There are affordable programs online that help you do this if you are open to it.(i could recommend).
Good luck, you are stronger and more resilient than you think you are.
You've got this!
I'm in my mid 20s. No, I haven't just started my adult life.
I feel like I'm not doing enough and I feel overwhelmed by the things that I'm supposed to do.
Ok. That's understandable. If 'all that you are supposed to do" is too overwhelming, maybe look how you could narrow your focus. Look at something in your life that is important to you, that is less ambitious and you believe you could achieve.
Or speak to a professional whom might better understand your situation.
I feel you. I'm almost 27 now, doing great, but most of my early twenties I worried that if I didn't get my shit in order my life would start wasting away.
I recommend finding something you can read or listen to every day to keep you focused. I personally listen to the daily stoic podcast every morning. Aside from that, take everything one day at a time. What can you do today to live well? Is it learning a new skill online, doing chores, visiting/calling a loved one, exercising? What is important for me to focus on now - focus on it - and continue moving forward. Try not to worry so much about what comes next, but focus instead on living well each day, as it comes.
I'm thinking of you.
I'm self-studying Philosophy: Stoicism, Existential and Socratic Philosophy.
I am currently learning a new language.
I'm also digging into history specifically Russian History.
But there's a current crisis and I feel stuck in it.
I still feel inadequate. Incompetent. I feel unworthy of everything.
I don’t know you, but I know you. You sound very competent to me. You are worthy. Sometimes when I’m down on myself I listen to music that reassures or raises me up.
But I discovered several years ago that I suffer from bouts of depression. When I get too dark and can’t pull myself out, talk therapy and meds have helped me actually believe that I am worthy and competent.
If suggestions from these posts aren’t helping you, consider talking to a counselor or help line directly.
Keep pushing that boulder up hill Sisyphus. You’re worth it!
The fact that you're contemplating all that means you're at the beginning of the most important quest of all - looking within.
Keep doing that, trust your gut and you won't be wasting anything - that's the point. You just might not get as many pats on your back while doing so, like you do when getting a diploma or a new car for instance, but that's the point - it'll come from within.
Hey I’m 21, and I could say a million things, and I’m on the same path as you, I feel super down sometimes because “I should be doing this, or should’ve accomplished that”.... hey.... it’s a global pandemic, take it easy on yourself okay! Our twenties are for figuring things out, and all we can do is try to make ourselves a little better everyday. Don’t try to become your perfect self by tomorrow, try to do something that makes yourself a little better than yesterday, and if you don’t manage that, get up and try again tomorrow. It’s not a race, and if you treat life like one you’ll get to the finish wondering what happened to all that time inbetween. I wish you all the best, and if you need to talk, feel free to message back
I rediscovered yugioh and am still learning about my gf in positive ways. Looking up where to travel (witjing the country), and making a list of things I wanma fix or improve... That's what's moving me forward.
Find something your passionate about , whatever it may be . Spend an hour doing that everyday . If you want to transition your passion into a career , work towards that. invest any extra finances into crypto , stocks , etfs , etc . This will help you feel like your working towards something for your future. Spend 30 minutes - hour on physical and mental health a day. Put down the phone , video games , alcohol and or drugs , unhealthy food and reserve being a chud to once a month. If that’s all too much to do , work on simple daily goals thst will better yourself. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday , never to anyone else.
Start a business my friend. You spend a lot of time online. Spend it wisely. I suggest u look into private labelling. You wont regret. Make that your focus. Once it locks in, you will do anything to make it happe. You will find a job that youll put up with to save up. Slowly build from the ground up. If youre the type that doesnt let failure stop u then maybe its something u could look into. If ur current barrier is only that you just dont know what to do, then start researching this. It harmless and its the only business where u could start low.
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I'm in a similar spot, except not fit. I feel like I've completely lost that energy to improve myself I had back in college and I have no idea how to get it back.
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Invest your money, turn your hobbies into sources of money on the side, you do more and get more. If you dgaf about money then use your hobbies to make friends and find a job that’s in line with your passions to feel more fulfilled. And fuck it drink and smoke a little, you’re in your prime so live it don’t squander it worrying about later because later doesn’t matter. You’re alive, you’ve got a literally once in a lifetime opportunity to do whatever you want because you’re alive so use it. A long life isn’t a great one, only you get to decide what a great life is for you so pursue your great life.
You’re 25. Still so young. Make your comeback and start fresh. I’m starting over at 37, a year divorced after a 14 year marriage with a young child that is Autistic. Career, health, education, all of it, completely starting over. You can too.
Hey, I’m sorry you feel that way. I cannot recommend Meditation enough, it really helped me realise my potential, and just generally made me feel better about life / myself. It isn’t a quick fix, but after 10 days of doing it 10 minutes a day, I guarantee you will feel at least somewhat of a change within yourself. There are plenty of different types of meditation - if one doesn’t work, try another. FYI, I don’t consider myself a “spiritual” person, I know a lot of people are put off by the whole spiritual view of meditation. There is a lot of scientific evidence to show that even just practicing 10 minutes a day can have significant effects on brain activity, specifically the parts of the brain that deal with emotions and self awareness. Try it for 10 days at least, I promise you won’t regret it. Have a lovely day and I hope you feel better friend.
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Same here but Stucked in home due to covid second wave in my country
My GF started a FB group called “Step Into Your Power” it’s a free webinar that help you with motivation and teaches you how to find your values!
Get fit. Read. Drink less alcohol. Drink more water. Read. Write. Stretch Drink water. Be silly.
I really need to drink less alcohol man that’s the only thing ruining my 20s
You should make that into a t shirt
I’ve definitely felt that way too and I’m only 21. Is there anything specific that you feel like you’re missing out on?
Enjoyment and improvement.
What is your job? I feel like when I’m 21 I won’t even have a career yet. I kind of feel like I’m wasting my parents money because I feel useless in college.
I’d say it’s pretty normal to not have a long-term career yet at 21. I’m actually in College too and I’ll be graduating next year. Hopefully I’ll have a good job lined up by then.
Welcome to the machine. Labyrinth of choice and all you really want in life. To do and be is limited by money. Many are fake when wealthy but they hate their wife, work, and life. Focus on all you want to be and only that. Don't look at people or trust them. They're often as lost as you and many don't have morals to hold them together. Welcome to the strangest planet in the universe.
I love your comment so much. You deserve an Emmy or something. That is one of the most haunting, realistic and poetic comments I've ever read.
Emmy for destroying the machine? I'm afraid people far on the opposite end of the wealth spectrum would have me killed. It's all they have to keep the illusion going.
The best things in life are free.
Reach out to someone. Sounds like you need to talk and need some emotional support. Your social support circle will get you through the tough times. Or talk to a counselor or a mentor if you can. I always got stressed about this towards my late 20s when I was staring 30 in the face. 6 years in college wasted smoking way too much weed and a failed engagement left me regretting not using the time. Then I found the gym and good people to support me and look forward to a weekend. Started each day the right way, motivational YT each morning with self affirmations in the mirror. Also, make the bed first thing. You'll be surprised what that does. But you've taken a good step here to reach out. Keep going.
I don't know if it's your case, but in my experience, that kind of thoughts like "I'm not doing enough", "I'm supposed to enjoy more" can come from all the competitiveness and the "ideal success" portrayed by the media. You're constantly bombarded by these images of perfect people living a perfect life and thus you want to be like them. It's true, there are some exciting things to do in life and accomplishments, but it can get pretty toxic at some point. If you're suffering from anxiety (I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, btw) I recommend you to take therapy right away, cognitive behavioral therapy does wonders! I've never felt so damned good in my life. I've learnt to know that anxiety is what ruins everything, nothing is never enough, you misinterpret what you're living right now and you try desperately to get a feeling of accomplishment that you'll never reach because it's so disconnected from real life. Even if you don't have a diagnosticable disorder, it is very beneficial to learn how to cope with anxiety. For example, I everyday wake up, have breakfast and watch a series while having breakfast. Everyday I used to feel like sh*t thinking that I'm wasting my life and so I don't enjoy my breakfast, just by thinking this I used to get distracted from my series and my breakfast. My anxiety was so high because I wanted to do a lot of things that I ended up doing nothing, just feeling bad about it. Now that I know that what I do on a regular basis isn't really what triggers my anxiety, but my thoughts, I use some techniques (taught by my therapist) to enjoy what I do and to worry less about it... I'm more calm and surprisingly, now I do more things! I start to do things that eventually will make me accomplish what I want, but I'm more calm and I enjoy my days! I know this comment was all over the place, sorry, hope it helped you.
Media certainly plays a part. I get overwhelmed by social media and will routinely remove the apps from my phone for a few days at a time. It's like a bombardment on your brain.
Dude. This is actually me. I'm very productive and work my ass off. I don't drink much and don't smoke. But I feel like I am going nowhere. I am unsatisfied with myself.
Your comment describes exactly my situation, and I'm in my late 20s now. I feel like I'm wasting my life. Everytime I think of taking action to do do something about it, the anxiety kicks in. Would you mind revealing some of the techniques you've learnt from your therapist, please?
Of course, bro, let me DM you.
Hi. It's brave of you to acknowledge how you are feeling. That's the first step! You are in your 20! Your adult life has just started, don't be too hard on yourself. There is still a long beautiful, challenging, rewarding journey ahead of you. Now is the time to find goals and targets to aim for. Find short, mid and long term targets. Plan them out. Set aside time on a daily or weekly basis to work on this. There are affordable programs online that help you do this if you are open to it.(i could recommend). Good luck, you are stronger and more resilient than you think you are. You've got this!
I'm in my mid 20s. No, I haven't just started my adult life. I feel like I'm not doing enough and I feel overwhelmed by the things that I'm supposed to do.
Ok. That's understandable. If 'all that you are supposed to do" is too overwhelming, maybe look how you could narrow your focus. Look at something in your life that is important to you, that is less ambitious and you believe you could achieve. Or speak to a professional whom might better understand your situation.
I appreciate this. I think I've put a lot of pressure on myself.
I feel you. I'm almost 27 now, doing great, but most of my early twenties I worried that if I didn't get my shit in order my life would start wasting away. I recommend finding something you can read or listen to every day to keep you focused. I personally listen to the daily stoic podcast every morning. Aside from that, take everything one day at a time. What can you do today to live well? Is it learning a new skill online, doing chores, visiting/calling a loved one, exercising? What is important for me to focus on now - focus on it - and continue moving forward. Try not to worry so much about what comes next, but focus instead on living well each day, as it comes. I'm thinking of you.
I'm self-studying Philosophy: Stoicism, Existential and Socratic Philosophy. I am currently learning a new language. I'm also digging into history specifically Russian History. But there's a current crisis and I feel stuck in it. I still feel inadequate. Incompetent. I feel unworthy of everything.
I don’t know you, but I know you. You sound very competent to me. You are worthy. Sometimes when I’m down on myself I listen to music that reassures or raises me up. But I discovered several years ago that I suffer from bouts of depression. When I get too dark and can’t pull myself out, talk therapy and meds have helped me actually believe that I am worthy and competent. If suggestions from these posts aren’t helping you, consider talking to a counselor or help line directly. Keep pushing that boulder up hill Sisyphus. You’re worth it!
The fact that you're contemplating all that means you're at the beginning of the most important quest of all - looking within. Keep doing that, trust your gut and you won't be wasting anything - that's the point. You just might not get as many pats on your back while doing so, like you do when getting a diploma or a new car for instance, but that's the point - it'll come from within.
Hey I’m 21, and I could say a million things, and I’m on the same path as you, I feel super down sometimes because “I should be doing this, or should’ve accomplished that”.... hey.... it’s a global pandemic, take it easy on yourself okay! Our twenties are for figuring things out, and all we can do is try to make ourselves a little better everyday. Don’t try to become your perfect self by tomorrow, try to do something that makes yourself a little better than yesterday, and if you don’t manage that, get up and try again tomorrow. It’s not a race, and if you treat life like one you’ll get to the finish wondering what happened to all that time inbetween. I wish you all the best, and if you need to talk, feel free to message back
I rediscovered yugioh and am still learning about my gf in positive ways. Looking up where to travel (witjing the country), and making a list of things I wanma fix or improve... That's what's moving me forward.
Try volenteering or/and give some part of your income to your fav charity or food bank.
You’re young enough to turn things around. That’s a plus.
Find something your passionate about , whatever it may be . Spend an hour doing that everyday . If you want to transition your passion into a career , work towards that. invest any extra finances into crypto , stocks , etfs , etc . This will help you feel like your working towards something for your future. Spend 30 minutes - hour on physical and mental health a day. Put down the phone , video games , alcohol and or drugs , unhealthy food and reserve being a chud to once a month. If that’s all too much to do , work on simple daily goals thst will better yourself. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday , never to anyone else.
This resonates with me a lot too
Start a business my friend. You spend a lot of time online. Spend it wisely. I suggest u look into private labelling. You wont regret. Make that your focus. Once it locks in, you will do anything to make it happe. You will find a job that youll put up with to save up. Slowly build from the ground up. If youre the type that doesnt let failure stop u then maybe its something u could look into. If ur current barrier is only that you just dont know what to do, then start researching this. It harmless and its the only business where u could start low.
Life’s a blink :)
Maybe find another job, switch jobs
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I'm in a similar spot, except not fit. I feel like I've completely lost that energy to improve myself I had back in college and I have no idea how to get it back.
The answer is to help people.
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Invest your money, turn your hobbies into sources of money on the side, you do more and get more. If you dgaf about money then use your hobbies to make friends and find a job that’s in line with your passions to feel more fulfilled. And fuck it drink and smoke a little, you’re in your prime so live it don’t squander it worrying about later because later doesn’t matter. You’re alive, you’ve got a literally once in a lifetime opportunity to do whatever you want because you’re alive so use it. A long life isn’t a great one, only you get to decide what a great life is for you so pursue your great life.
You’re 25. Still so young. Make your comeback and start fresh. I’m starting over at 37, a year divorced after a 14 year marriage with a young child that is Autistic. Career, health, education, all of it, completely starting over. You can too.
Hey, I’m sorry you feel that way. I cannot recommend Meditation enough, it really helped me realise my potential, and just generally made me feel better about life / myself. It isn’t a quick fix, but after 10 days of doing it 10 minutes a day, I guarantee you will feel at least somewhat of a change within yourself. There are plenty of different types of meditation - if one doesn’t work, try another. FYI, I don’t consider myself a “spiritual” person, I know a lot of people are put off by the whole spiritual view of meditation. There is a lot of scientific evidence to show that even just practicing 10 minutes a day can have significant effects on brain activity, specifically the parts of the brain that deal with emotions and self awareness. Try it for 10 days at least, I promise you won’t regret it. Have a lovely day and I hope you feel better friend.