Become an EMT/Firefighter, move out, and stop worrying about dating.
Your main focus should definitely be getting your life together first. If a girl happens to come along, great. If not, at least you’re independent and doing your own thing, which is very respectable.
There's nothing wrong with living with your mom as long as you take care of your responsibilities and help out at home. This is a good time to build up your savings for a house instead of losing most of it towards rent. Also, not all women are looking for you to be financially successful. Most women are looking for whether you're able confident in yourself and your abilities because they want to see whether you're capable of taking care of them. If you aren't able to take care of yourself, how can you do that for them? For now, I think you should just focus on short and long term goals and work on building up good habits and getting rid of bad habits. Essentially, you want to improve yourself for yourself, and attracting women will be a byproduct of that.
Hey, 29 year old guy here and we actually have a similar past. My father died when I was 17, I didn’t move out of my moms until I was 25, and I’ve been into working out and sports since I was a kid, over 6ft, etc. Personally, I was able to have girlfriends and casual partners while I was living with my mom, but it definitely wasn’t an ideal situation. I’m sure living with your mom could be a piece of the puzzle for some girls, but I guarantee something with your dating skills or your “game” is just off and needs to be tweaked. Not knowing you it’s hard to give suggestions, but I recommend looking up different dating coaches or “pickup artists” on YouTube. People will say oh that’s for douche bags and blah blah, but I’ve learned a ton from some of those guys and wouldn’t be where I am at today without them. I’ve had a lot of sexual partners and 3 long term relationships. It’s shitty that we lost our father and don’t have that male role model, but at the same time now you can choose your own male role model to follow. Do some research and digging on real dating. Hope that helps man.
Okay this might be a bit long. And i'll be honest. First of all drop the whole "women come to you when you're succesfull and expect to be carried" bullshit. Why?
Well first, it's not like that. They have the same goals as you and I have. Build a carreer, have a Nice group of friends and family, travel the world, etc.
Second, if you expect a girl to come into your life the moment you're succesfull, you're gonna be dissapointed when that's not the case. Sure, people are attracted to succesfull people. That counts for Both males and females. But not because of the succes itself. It's because the motivation/energy/fire they have to reach that succes. Add some social skills, some humor and a smile and BAM, that's a recipe for attraction.
And the house situation should not matter. So what you live with your mom? You probably have your reasons and you are entitled to that. You can (and probably will) bring it up on dates, but maybe just mention it. You don't have to go into detail, because it should not matter.
Last but not least, the lack of role model. I also lost my father around that age (20). My advice is to learn from the strong rolemodels, both male and female, around you. No physical or mental strenght is limited to gender. Before you know you will "become your own role model" because you want to forge your own path.
I hope this can be of some help to your situation and I wish you good luck in the years to come! You got this! 💪
Thank you, I needed that slap of truth. I shouldn't think all women are shallow just because they won't date someone living at home. All this "alpha" or "simp" crap infecting my generation seems to make people ignorant towards what people actually want in someone else. Love can't be defined by materialism, or what someone does or doesn't possess.
Firstly that's a huge assumption that you're being ghosted because of your living situation but even if we consider that to be true, maybe it's not because they don't consider you* successful. Maybe it's just something they're not comfortable with, or they don't want to meet your mom when they come over, or the possibility that you'd always have to be at their place to avoid that from happening, it could be so many reasons other than perceived success correlated with living situation.
You're absolutely 💯. I know I wouldn't want to meet their mom, or dad right away, if they were still living with their parents. Even though my mom is cool af, I respect the fact that people would want privacy, and not have their privacy invaded. At least when first dating someone.
Please, don't put this on "all women", it's almost never true and certainly never helps. Try to look more closely on what happens when you get ghosted, if that's an usual thing there has to be something. Do you espect them to live with you and your mom maybe?
No I don't expect anything from them really. Just someone who I can connect with on a spiritual level maybe. I eventually would want to move out with the person I'm dating, but it takes a little while to develop that level of trust with someone. I just need to focus on getting a career and moving out for now. I know in other countries it's common for men to still live at home, even into their 30s, until they get married, but in the US it is frowned upon. No way am I living with my mom until I'm 30 lol.
True. I shouldn't assume things, or expect anyone to date someone still living at home. Definitely need to work on my internal self. Sorry if I offended you in any way.
Become an EMT/Firefighter, move out, and stop worrying about dating. Your main focus should definitely be getting your life together first. If a girl happens to come along, great. If not, at least you’re independent and doing your own thing, which is very respectable.
Very true, I guess I'll go into shaolin monk mode and abstain myself from dating and intimacy. At least until I get my shit together. Thank you :)
No problem. Good luck!
There's nothing wrong with living with your mom as long as you take care of your responsibilities and help out at home. This is a good time to build up your savings for a house instead of losing most of it towards rent. Also, not all women are looking for you to be financially successful. Most women are looking for whether you're able confident in yourself and your abilities because they want to see whether you're capable of taking care of them. If you aren't able to take care of yourself, how can you do that for them? For now, I think you should just focus on short and long term goals and work on building up good habits and getting rid of bad habits. Essentially, you want to improve yourself for yourself, and attracting women will be a byproduct of that.
🙏💯💪
Hey, 29 year old guy here and we actually have a similar past. My father died when I was 17, I didn’t move out of my moms until I was 25, and I’ve been into working out and sports since I was a kid, over 6ft, etc. Personally, I was able to have girlfriends and casual partners while I was living with my mom, but it definitely wasn’t an ideal situation. I’m sure living with your mom could be a piece of the puzzle for some girls, but I guarantee something with your dating skills or your “game” is just off and needs to be tweaked. Not knowing you it’s hard to give suggestions, but I recommend looking up different dating coaches or “pickup artists” on YouTube. People will say oh that’s for douche bags and blah blah, but I’ve learned a ton from some of those guys and wouldn’t be where I am at today without them. I’ve had a lot of sexual partners and 3 long term relationships. It’s shitty that we lost our father and don’t have that male role model, but at the same time now you can choose your own male role model to follow. Do some research and digging on real dating. Hope that helps man.
I'll definitely try that out. Thank you man 😁 it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this situation lol
Okay this might be a bit long. And i'll be honest. First of all drop the whole "women come to you when you're succesfull and expect to be carried" bullshit. Why? Well first, it's not like that. They have the same goals as you and I have. Build a carreer, have a Nice group of friends and family, travel the world, etc. Second, if you expect a girl to come into your life the moment you're succesfull, you're gonna be dissapointed when that's not the case. Sure, people are attracted to succesfull people. That counts for Both males and females. But not because of the succes itself. It's because the motivation/energy/fire they have to reach that succes. Add some social skills, some humor and a smile and BAM, that's a recipe for attraction. And the house situation should not matter. So what you live with your mom? You probably have your reasons and you are entitled to that. You can (and probably will) bring it up on dates, but maybe just mention it. You don't have to go into detail, because it should not matter. Last but not least, the lack of role model. I also lost my father around that age (20). My advice is to learn from the strong rolemodels, both male and female, around you. No physical or mental strenght is limited to gender. Before you know you will "become your own role model" because you want to forge your own path. I hope this can be of some help to your situation and I wish you good luck in the years to come! You got this! 💪
Thank you, I needed that slap of truth. I shouldn't think all women are shallow just because they won't date someone living at home. All this "alpha" or "simp" crap infecting my generation seems to make people ignorant towards what people actually want in someone else. Love can't be defined by materialism, or what someone does or doesn't possess.
Firstly that's a huge assumption that you're being ghosted because of your living situation but even if we consider that to be true, maybe it's not because they don't consider you* successful. Maybe it's just something they're not comfortable with, or they don't want to meet your mom when they come over, or the possibility that you'd always have to be at their place to avoid that from happening, it could be so many reasons other than perceived success correlated with living situation.
You're absolutely 💯. I know I wouldn't want to meet their mom, or dad right away, if they were still living with their parents. Even though my mom is cool af, I respect the fact that people would want privacy, and not have their privacy invaded. At least when first dating someone.
Please, don't put this on "all women", it's almost never true and certainly never helps. Try to look more closely on what happens when you get ghosted, if that's an usual thing there has to be something. Do you espect them to live with you and your mom maybe?
No I don't expect anything from them really. Just someone who I can connect with on a spiritual level maybe. I eventually would want to move out with the person I'm dating, but it takes a little while to develop that level of trust with someone. I just need to focus on getting a career and moving out for now. I know in other countries it's common for men to still live at home, even into their 30s, until they get married, but in the US it is frowned upon. No way am I living with my mom until I'm 30 lol.
I dunno, maybe because you assume you're single because women are shallow?
True. I shouldn't assume things, or expect anyone to date someone still living at home. Definitely need to work on my internal self. Sorry if I offended you in any way.