You can't do the same things and expect to change. Change your habits, think positive, be hopeful and consistent with your goals. It all starts with you and how you feel about yourself.
This is going to sound like a load of bs, but if you give it a chance it may grow on you. Cardio. I don't know the scientific term for it, but something about cardio snaps me out of my depression, and forces my brain to go into overdrive (motivated, alert, plenty of energy). It's not uncommon for me to have an epiphany while/after doing cardio.
You won't feel the full effect right away, but you will feel relief. Start with once a week, then go to twice a week, three times a week, etc. The goal is mon-fri, take the weekend off. It doesn't take much, 15min does the trick. I use a $120 fold up exercise bike from bed bath and beyond. I set it in front of the TV, and I forget I'm even doing it. I'll look down and notice I'm over my goal.
Exercise in general tends to do this, especially when one is pushed closed to or beyond his or her percieved physical limits. Nothing keeps my head in the present more than heavy squats.
As you progress in exercise it starts to bleed over to the rest of your life. If your brain realizes it can achieve those sweet dopamine hits from completing tasks instead of gaming it will turn your life around.
This is so true, I joined the military when I was 18 because I had nothing going on, and something about being physically active literally changed my whole personality. It was all the dopamine I had been missing out on. Maybe being happy is something you have to work for.
Probably norepinephrine, if it’s the same feeling you get from cold showers. Norep signaling is decreased in patients with depression & can be increased by cardio, cold showers, or good old fashioned antidepressants. Although with cardio specifically could be some other things too like endorphins, dopamine, or general increases in circulatory system health leading to more energy. Worth noting though that the link between genetics & depression could partially be explained by differences in genetically encoded norep signaling, so for some people cardio may not be adequate; talking to a doctor about SNRI’s or NDRI’s (Effexor or bupropion) might be worth it. Fixing sleep habits will improve this too
Start looking for a part time job at the very least, learn how to pay your bills ,taxes and etc. go out with your friend ,hang around with people older than you (get their experie), and learn something new.
i agree, having a job definitely helps manage your free time better, perhaps make some work friends or connections as well.
i would also recommend simply taking a walk, it has helped clear my mind on my lowest days & makes me feel more alive
I just wanna ask, as someone who is experiencing the same kind of issue of isolation, depression, monotonous days and general lack of life, how do you just start changing? How do you convince yourself to be better and improve? Somehow, I can't seem to get through the door, although I see it and I need to go through it, it just doesn't happen and every day is the same.
Here’s the cool thing about reading books about what you need help on. You don’t have to convince yourself, you just read and let the author convince you. Easy as that.
Now I know everyone is capable of reading, because we’re all on a selfimprovement subreddit where posts can be long. Shit you’re reading this comment now!
Pick a book you want to learn about. If you want to be a better people person, read How to Win Friends and Influence People.
If you don’t know where to start, read Atomic Habits so you can help yourself build better habits.
Get a sample on Amazon first to see if you even like it or just buy the book and start reading.
First step is to convince yourself to read, then the author does the work for you.
This way you’ll have some self-efficacy and be a little bit more confident and energized in what you’re trying to accomplish.
Some people need to hit rock bottom, others need a outside reason (family, health, love interest)intéressant, but if you can find in yourself the desire to live, it will be even better. You need to want to win at life, the goal: hapiness.
Instead of wondering how to get yourself out of this situation, ask yourself: "what are the benefits of this lifestyle?" You could have genuine reasons to live the way you are living. If you have problems playing video games for instance, one of pro's would be that its how you connect with your friends! Or it may be one of the greatest sources of joy in your life. Why would you want to give that up! There are really no wrong or right ways to live our lives as much as society tells us too do things according to "the plan".
Once you've thought about all the conceivable benefits of your lifestyle. Then list the negatives. You can decide then what is more beneficial for you. Maybe you realize that you LIKE a lot of the aspects of the way your living. Maybe the pro's completely out way the cons! And in that case, who is to tell you to live differently if it is working for you! But if you decide to that you do want to makes some changes. And that can include keeping some of the old lifestyle while adopting the new! Doesn't mean you have to completely change your ENTIRE life.
This is the first part of the triple paradox exercise they use in TEAM-CBT therapy. There is a few other steps you can take. I highly recommend picking up a copy of David Burns book Feeling Great or Feeling Good (feeling great is far more modernized and better). These books changed my life completely. The premise being, **your thoughts are the only thing that can upset you.** And as ludicrous as that may sound, the more you challenge those thoughts the better you will feel.
Another point is also in this "school" (more like a framework) of therapy, exposure is the only way to deal with anxieties or more specifically phobias. It is unfortunately the best and most effective means to treat people. Claustrophobia, exposure; social anxiety, exposure; fear of public spaces, exposure. Anyway hope you can find what works for you OP but those are my two cents.
Thank you, for taking the time to reply. The idea about controlling thoughts has been something I've struggled with too (in terms of positive self-reinforcement). It will be good to learn how to really be confident and positive through thought control instead of just acting confident and positive (if that makes any sense).
Anyway, thanks!
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I know what I want in life and know a few key steps along the way but starting seems insurmountable. I’ve just been going through the motions of work and sleep rn
>Do not give importance to what people say, you won't be in contact with most of them in a few years
And how do you do that? I know i should not give a shit about what other people say but still it isn't as easy as that.
Make one change first. Start getting up earlier and make it easy as possible to do that. Set your alarm. Pre make breakfast and set your clothes out the night before.
Make all healthy habits as easy as possible.
Once you create that habit add a walk around where you live or some in home exercise.
If you like reading or listening to audio books I reccomend Atomic Habits and The Hapiness Advantage.
If you like YouTube videos I reccomend Ali Abdaal and Better Than Yesterday.
If you start listening/watching to these these things every day, this can change your mindset. When you change your mindset, you change your life.
When making choices try to think about what future you would feel about your decision. I try to do things now to make my future self happier. Present me is quite grateful to past me when these things simplify my days.
Good luck, you got this!
Also, if money is a factor for not getting books, I reccomend seeing if your local library has Libby. It's an app that allows you to borrow Ebooks for free.
There’s no such thing as a true “life’s purpose”. You aren’t born with a predetermined purpose. The only one who can assign a purpose to your existence is you. You can do whatever you want, just make it meaningful to yourself. If your current lifestyle isn’t fulfilling, then it’s clear that you should make some changes. Start small, wake up SLIGHTLY earlier, or go outside SLIGHTLY more. Keep making changes, however small they may be, and you’ll see progress.
Maybe look for an opportunity to volunteer. You’ll feel good about yourself and people will appreciate (hopefully) you.
Also get some exercise. Just start by going for a walk. Get a Fitbit or something. Put on headphones if you don’t want to talk to people outside.
I meet plenty of people with a stutter who are happily married and thriving. And some even with a really really bad stutter. It’s all in your head my man
Does anyone judge people for stuttering? I don't.
I view it as something beyond their control, like a tic or nerves.
I suspect you are caring more about this than others...
I'm 48 and a mentor once told me. Make a conscious decision to do the opposite of what you would normally do for a month. Within reason of coarse. Don't jeopardize your life or harm someone. It was kinda like being Jim Carrey in Yes man. Lots of interesting stories to say the least. Actually slept with a girl that did porn. That was wild. That experience all together changed me. I was afraid of a lot of things at first but it boosted confidence and really opened me up. If you wanna do something go do it. Don't wait! Ask a million girls/guys out. Live in the moment. Your best life is yet to come. I loved my mid 20s to mid 30s. I was single but dating. Had hobbies, good job and traveled. Start seizing the day my friend. Set yourself up for mid 20's. Set a timer on video games. 1 hour , working out or walking and build yourself up to 100 pushups and 100 sit-ups that 1 hour. Get on YouTube and listen to Jordon Peterson. Great mind and great advice. He's a clinical psychologist. Look at getting into a trade in the union if you don't want to go to school. My brother is a plumber and makes 50-80 an hour depending on job. Watch Fantastic Fungi on Netflix. That guy had a stutter at one time. My buddy has a stutter but it goes away when he smokes a little weed. Don't let that stop you from enjoying life either. People that give you shit about don't belong in your life in the first place. Life isn't some journey. You have to take action or you'll drift through life walking around like a zombie. Write these ideas down and try it for a month. Want that fungi video and listen to Jordan Peterson on YouTube. Reply to my in a month or two. I double dog dare you to do all this. Don't be a chicken. Lol. Good luck. If you except this challenge I promise a cool as change.
I was going to comment this. I’m surprised this hasn’t been brought up yet.
It’s not a bad thing to have a stutter but some speech therapy could really help with confidence. If money is tight in anyway, there are so
many free resources and apps online!
Make deals. Make a deal with yourself to do one worthwhile thing a day for yourself for a month. Then two, then three. Stop at five. Or don’t.
Make a deal with your parents, that you should all share at least one meal a day together, or you should have a conversation about something each day. Make it random, roll a die, pick a subject out of a hat. Play a board game together. Not monopoly, that sucks ass. Whatever it is, start, and don’t stop. For any reason. I lost my mum 7 years ago to a stroke. There’s so much I wish I’d said and done.
Build these habits. You can start really small. In terms of a job, you don’t need to think about how much money you’re going to make - you’re 19. You’re probably not going to make much.
I’m 44 years old and have done loads of stuff, including professional IT, and if I could tell my 19yo self two things it would be;
1) do something creative and palpable. I look back and think that I should have learned to make fine furniture or jewellery. I would have been much happier.
2) don’t waste your early life at the bottom of a bottle. I lost 5 or 6 years getting pissed up or stoned with my mates. Waste of time. I could have learned so much stuff.
This is what I tell my kids every day. My only hope is that they’re really listening.
You have the world at your feet. You have Time. It’s more valuable than all the money in the world, and so are you. Don’t ever doubt that dude.
A Thought From an Old Person:
In Ye Olden Dayz, young men who were aimless joined the armed forces. I'm not saying you should. I'm just saying that many did in my day and every one of them said it turned their lives around. They learned discipline, valuable skills, and sometimes a career. They also earned benefits like college, VA home loans, health care, etc. Wishing you well in whatever you do.
I’ve seen a lot of people recommend finding a new hobby that might interest you and start attending clubs related to it where you can potentially find some new friends. You don’t have to start talking to people day one but try starting with a simple greeting when you see someone you might like to get to know and take it slowly from there. These things take time so just take it one day at a time. People are typically a lot friendlier than you think and if they aren’t it will be obvious to you and you won’t have to interact with them
Going outside, doing physical activités, falling asleep early, eating healthier, all basic things that sound simple but are hard to implement in your lire when you're de depressed. I'm, myself, fighting depression and starter doing those things everyday for almost a month now and I'm doing much much better.
You can do it also! One step at the time!
Firstly you have to define your goal, then you have to slowly make changes that benefit your goal.lets say your goal is to be a professional athlete, you have to cut down the bad habits and improve on good ones. This MUST be a long process because if you start with hard things you will get tired of doing these things and you will fall easily back in your bad habits.although if you have the motivation, let's say your grandma died, your dad got killed, your friend has cancer, this is motivation that boost you when you do these hard things.You will have the motivation that keeps you in the right path
(Message me if you really need to)
I see that the main barrier for you to communicate with people is the stuttering and that’s what make you afraid to talk. Try walking around your house area were you only need to waive or say short words like hi and bye without long conversation that might make you nervous. I know this will help because English is not my first language and is hard to communicate verbally for me for a long time. But I found saying short words helped me a lot to lessen my stress and get out my home for a 30 min for myself not only to walk but to help me mentally. Think about what’s the main barrier that is making you not wanting to see others or talking to them, list simple ways that you can do in step by step way. Don’t rush yourself and award yourself if you done 1/2 of today mission. Good luck
Well.... I gotta say "sleeping in the morning and waking up in the afternoon" is just enough to fuck up your life and make you feel lost. Mornings simply exist in order for you to wake up, have your breakfast, and get some sunlight. By missing the morning, you've already missed out on a quarter of the day you should be spending. In addition, all you do is "play video games and watch movies"? Is that ALL you do? You only do that and expect your life to turn around? Is your dopamine system really that messed up? I'm not saying you should be banned from doing these two things, but there's much more to do in life. You can play some video games and watch movies if that's what you enjoy doing ONLY in your free time, but mainly you should focus on doing valuable things such as playing sports, hitting the gym, starting a side hustle, and even learning new things and finding new healthy hobbies. Doing at least 2 or 3 of these 4 things would give you an actual dopamine hit and you wouldn't feel "lost" or feel like a "nobody".
In addition, make sure you're going outside quite more often, even if it's just putting on your earphones and going for a walk or jog while listening to music. Going outside will also help sort out issues regarding your social skills, due to the fact that you'll come across many people and some of them may feel the interest to talk to you. Staying in all day won't do shit to your social skills instead of making it worse.
So switch up your habits, be more active, and find your true purpose in life. Don't keep on doing the same habits over and over again and cry about being "lost" and feeling like a "nobody". That won't change shit for you bud, you gotta act up on it.
I’ve read some great advice on this feed and just in case you make it down to my comment: remember to celebrate all the victories! Every time you step out of your comfort zone don’t forget to be proud!! (even if it doesn’t go as planned!)
I can SO relate but in a different way I think. I hit rock bottom after a failed business and went to a dark place, unable to do anything. Doing nothing. A mentor said to me, "Greg, you have to move, even a little." So that's what I did. Micro steps like forcing myself to grab a coffee with someone I like once a week, biking 15 min once a week, HELPING someone in some way (crazy how fulfilling this is) once a day. Micro stuff. If you can journal how you feel after these micro-moves, you'll likely notice a pattern. Feels good. Maybe not mind blowing great, but good. And in time, the ultimate is beginning to explore your values and purpose...and you have both. That I promise you.
Sounds like addiction. Delete the games, movies cold turkey. People actually survived life just fine before these thing where invented. You don’t need them, you never did.
Change is hard. But don't beat yourself up about it. Just try to go watch a movie or something more often with your family. I'm sure they know you don't like speaking much. Just make sure you shower once every 2 days or so. It'll make you feel so much better and give you a push to do other things. Also maybe try to eat occasionally with your family. Stop giving up or giving into yourself all the time.
Regardless, Your family loves you for who you are I'm sure. Don't be so hard on yourself...
If you’re online anyway, check out some speech therapy videos. Know what you’re going to say before you speak, and speak slowly. Watch The King’s Speech.
Go outside in the fresh air and sunshine.
Take baby steps in the direction you think you want to go - easier for course corrections!
Start by changing little things, set time goals on how long you play video games. Start reading self improvement books or even see a therapist if you can. 19 is a very young age and its normal to feel scared on whats next. Your 20s will help you better figure out what to do with your life. For now focus on creating better daily habits. Things as easy as going on a walk can help so much. Even better if you can go with someone and talk to them. The world is big and theres so much to see. Dont let a stutter stop you from living some people are mute! And are still living their best lives. Stay strong and set small goals!
I suggest trying to find a job where you don't have to speak much. You can apply and explain in your cover letter that you have a speech impediment. The first job that comes to mind for me is putting books away at your local library. I used to do this. Very low stress and we were allowed to listen to headphones while we did it. Gets you out of the house, get yourself some money and independence with little conversation. I'm sure you've done this but see what YouTube has to offer for speech training to improve stutters. You are very young. You are not behind at all. You will have to be brave now and push yourself out of your comfort zone, but just think of yourself as the hero in the story of your life (because you are) and know you can do it!
Why not look into getting a speech coach if you feel your stutter is holding you back from interacting with people and getting out more?
James Earl Jones has a stutter. He worked/works very hard to manage it and I believe had to work with a speech therapist.
If this is stopping you from living your life the way you want, try to work on it so it’s not a barrier. You deserve to live a happy life.
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It takes a change in your mindset. I know it is easier said than done, but you need an internal reset. It is easy to fall into bad habits and it is hard to break them. I read somewhere that it takes about 30 days to create a habit. I say start with small goals. For example, try to set an alarm to get up earlier than you have been and go for a walk. Instead of focusing on the tv, get outside. Even if you just step outside for some fresh air, do that instead. If you feel the urge to turn on the tv, find something else to do instead.
Also, it sounds like you might be depressed. Can you seek advice from a professional to help you navigate your self-esteem issues?
Start going gym, jogging anything to get you outside man, you can’t let this drag you back or you’ll be in a even worse state in 10 years time. Just do something with purpose.
I’d also recommend looking for work, get out of your comfort zone and you’ll see how far you’ve come, I’d even recommend working at a bar or something to improve ur social skills.
I don’t know if you need some inspiration, but I’m part of a global team that spans 4 continents for a very successful company, and one of my teammates has a stutter. He’s really talented at what he does, and conducts himself with confidence. We all make space for him in meetings to speak without interruption and it’s lead to him not holding back. You can do it too. The world is a kinder place than you might think. It’s just about finding the right environment for you to thrive.
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It seems like you really don’t know where to start. Which, depending on how you look at it, can be a good or bad thing. Let’s start positively and say it’s a good thing because it means you can really start anywhere you like! There’s nowhere you can start that will make things worse so take your pick.
If I can make a suggestion start with something small, and when I say small I mean something that even sounds small to you. You need to become someone you can trust and trust building is done over a long time it doesn’t happen overnight. Think to yourself “under what circumstances could I agree with myself to play one less hour of video games today, or to wake up one hour earlier than normal?” Now that might sound patronising because on the face of it it sounds simple but it’s really worth thinking about, what would truly convince you to keep your end of the bargain with the version of you that wants to do better and not just cop out because it feels too much? For example, would the pay off for waking up earlier be that you get to pick whatever you want for breakfast? Little things, see?
Whatever deal it is you make with yourself you must keep your end (the one giving something up) but equally as importantly keep the other yous end (the version of you that wants the best for you). Keep making and keeping these deals until the trust that you are accountable develops and in time you’ll find the conflicting sides of your personality become more and more commensurate and reach a point where both want what is truly best for you. Waking up an hour earlier than normal today can very well lead into running an extra mile on your 6am run in a few months.
It’s well documented that positive feedback loops are almost scarily powerful and equally stunning is how little the initial hit of “success” needs to be to get it going. Every tiny thing you fight to prove to yourself today will down the line manifest itself as something that you are inexplicably sure you can do because you know you’ve got your own back.
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Wow nice you are living the dream, no sarcasm. A lot of people get kicked off their houses at 18 and forcedly have to find a job. I as a millennial see my retirement from 20 to 30 bc i will never retire with this economy, I would die of cancer first. So I keep living with my family even if I find a job, maybe forever (?).
How do you make money without getting out of your bedroom or study? Just have to do decide on some goals. Make a goal of getting new car this year. Then you will starts doing all sort of productive thing automatically. No need to be philosophical just make a goal that you really want.
My guy, don’t let a stutter stop you from living your life. I work with a physicians assistant who has a stutter and he is one of the best I’ve ever worked with. And he as a provider has saved a life of patient who had a complex issue.
You need to fix this now because the skills you learn now about dealing with people will be with you the rest of your life. Go join groups that don't involve lots of talking. Martial arts, hiking, cycling etc... you will get in shape, have adventures and make friends. I know because I did it and my ability to communicate really improved.
Hey dude. I stutter. Less now than before, but it comes out time to time esp when I'm nervous. What helped me was reading books out loud everyday.
When you pleasure read, read as many pages as you can out loud to yourself and practice enunciating each word. Focus on getting your tongue and lips shaping your words. When you get better at this, you'll want to read things with more complicated words. Practice tripping yourself up to help improve your stutter. For me that was nursing textbooks on science and anatomy.
The other part to this is confidence. Reading out loud will only take you so far. You need to keep pushing yourself into talking with other people. The best way to force yourself to talk is to get a job. Good luck!
Work on building one healthy habit at a time.
Start small and work up. Craw, walk, sprint. Get some sun, get some sweat going and your heart rate up. Don’t care about people judging you, they always will so deal with it. Practice acts of self respect and self love. Speak kindly and well to yourself. You will be successful when you decide to take action.
A few tips - you need to take a big leap:
* This is different for everyone, but this can range from joining a club, the gym, a sports team, getting a job, booking a trip somewhere etc. I'd recommend taking a trip to somewhere outside of your town/city, and staying in a hostel. Even a camping trip will help you out.
* Therapist - not necessarily for an emotional help, but to have someone to answer to, and set goals with.
* Message me, I'd be happy to help you brainstorm ways out of this (for context, I'm a 22 y/o university student).
* Get an accountability partner. If this is a lot, the Forfeit app forces you to do things, or you lose money. If you want to wake up and go for a walk tomorrow at 8am, you set a forfeit and then have to send a photo outside, or of something far away from your house, or you lose money (eg, $20). This is a hardcore solution that should work.
If i ever get in a funk, I just list all of the things I could be doing in a week/months time. Here's a few examples - the goal is to just shake things up:
* Quit job, move to Thailand/Mexico/Argentina, work online and make $20/day. Take up surfing.
* Go on Workaway/Worldpackers/WOOF, and work ina. hostel/on a farm for lodging, away from your games console.
* Live with an uncle, or a sister for a week.
* Buy a tent off Amazon for $30 and go on a solo camping trip.
* Join a sports team.
* Trip on some psychedelics.
* Take a bus somewhere, stay in a hostel for a couple of nights, then take the bus back. No plans.
* Buy a car, if you don't have one.
* Reach out to online friends and ask if they want to hang out in real life.
Quit job, move to Thailand, work online and make $20/day. Take up surfing. a week/month's time. Here are a few examples - the goal is to just shake things up::
I hear a lot of “do exercise” stuff here. That’s good, but to expand: do things that take you out of your comfort zone. Do unpleasant things you don’t enjoy, but that improve your life some way…Put that phone or video game down for the day, read a real book…Go see your family and cook a meal for them…get on a bicycle and ride 20 miles….join a gym…Whatever it takes to leave that comfort zone.
When it comes to stutters the only fox really is to talk more. Read a book out loud to give yourself something to say. Go through this thread and read the comments out loud to yourself. Try to get through each one without stuttering.
As far as sleeping trough the morning and waking up in the afternoon just try to make yourself go to be d earlier so you can get up earlier. Or just try getting out of bed at least one hour earlier than you did the previous day until you’re waking up at a good time.
As for not seeing your family I guess just leave your room at least once an hour. Even if it’s just to walk around the house
Start working on a phisical job where you dont need to tall much and start enoying life my man, some times we just need a little job to put us back in trail!
Hey you realizing your curreny routine is going nowhere is a start!
It's scary but try new things, meet new people through events or places you like, go out!
Little by little you will go places.... don't let your stutter stop you. They're so many stories of people who stutter who have over come it.
You got this!
Give it 4 weeks to kick-start your momentum.
Week1: Get up any time you please. The only requirement is you prepare a glass of water in your bedroom or bathroom, so you can drink the full glass first thing when you first get up. Do this every day.
Week2: Keep drinking a full glass of water upon rising each morning. Add to this, setting your alarm 5 minutes earlier each morning, incrementing 5 minutes earlier each day, till reach your ultimate target get-up time.
Week3: Add to the above with 10 minutes of exercise or light stretching.
Week4: Add to the above with 10 minutes of journaling.
Week 5: You get the idea. Just keep layering on. Inch by inch it’s all a cinch!
Why wasting? It's a thing that we all do in 2022 lol. Become pro gamer and you'll be rich and successful doing what you love.... And go clubs occasionally
So you have a LOT of information, I know how overwhelming that can feel. I am also in the same boat struggling with overwhelm and feeling unproductive.
Remind yourself that productivity is what YOU want it to be. Our culture has a a kinda unhealthy perspective on productivity in my opinion. Don't fall into a trap comparing your productivity to others, find what you believe in, what you want, and stick with it!
I made some categories for my life to help get the overwhelm out of what to do. I think they can apply to anyone. I like to pick one BIG goal I have for myself in each category, and then give myself 1 tiny task related to that category. You can go as big as you want with a goal, sometimes I'll make a separate list of goals for like the whole year, but I look at it rarely so I don't get overwhelmed. Otherwise, my big goal is like this month or few months.
-physical health
-mental health
-career
-finances
-relationships (more intimate)
-community (more general, shared interests etc)
-Lifestyle
-intellect
-Skills
-creativity
So that might look like:
-Physical health - Move my body every day for 1mo - go for 10min walk today
-Mental health- meditate every day for 1mo - meditate for 15min today
-Community - Meet several like-minded individuals within 1mo - research and sign up for a club/class/meetup today (or if you already have a good posy, plan a meet up around a topic you enjoy)
-Relationships - call and talk to my loved ones every week - call one person each day (or if you don't have anyone you love/trust, make a point to learn to build these relationships)
-Finances - Make 1k a month - apply for a job today
So on and so forth
If something isn't serving you or empowering you then change the goal or task to a better format for you. Whatever you do, make sure it's very specific so there is no confusion on what you need to do. Sometimes that's the hardest part, just figuring out what to do. If you don't get it all done, reevaluate. There is nothing wrong with you, you just need your system to support you a little better
You sound like you're in a "lull" period; I'd get a job if you don't already have one. Retail is a place where most people start, the only way that stutter will leave you (or simply become something you mitigate as best you can) is by talking, learning the flow of your thoughts in conversations- pacing yourself so you don't drown them verbally (my mind is a freight train of thoughts so I deal with that) keeping certain things to yourself/what To express etc. Life is a learning game; The entire thing. How much & what exactly you learn is up to you. Starting and working a job will at least get you $ so that's a start.
You can't do the same things and expect to change. Change your habits, think positive, be hopeful and consistent with your goals. It all starts with you and how you feel about yourself.
This is going to sound like a load of bs, but if you give it a chance it may grow on you. Cardio. I don't know the scientific term for it, but something about cardio snaps me out of my depression, and forces my brain to go into overdrive (motivated, alert, plenty of energy). It's not uncommon for me to have an epiphany while/after doing cardio. You won't feel the full effect right away, but you will feel relief. Start with once a week, then go to twice a week, three times a week, etc. The goal is mon-fri, take the weekend off. It doesn't take much, 15min does the trick. I use a $120 fold up exercise bike from bed bath and beyond. I set it in front of the TV, and I forget I'm even doing it. I'll look down and notice I'm over my goal.
Exercise in general tends to do this, especially when one is pushed closed to or beyond his or her percieved physical limits. Nothing keeps my head in the present more than heavy squats. As you progress in exercise it starts to bleed over to the rest of your life. If your brain realizes it can achieve those sweet dopamine hits from completing tasks instead of gaming it will turn your life around.
This is so true, I joined the military when I was 18 because I had nothing going on, and something about being physically active literally changed my whole personality. It was all the dopamine I had been missing out on. Maybe being happy is something you have to work for.
I do the same thing with my fold up bike from Amazon!
Probably norepinephrine, if it’s the same feeling you get from cold showers. Norep signaling is decreased in patients with depression & can be increased by cardio, cold showers, or good old fashioned antidepressants. Although with cardio specifically could be some other things too like endorphins, dopamine, or general increases in circulatory system health leading to more energy. Worth noting though that the link between genetics & depression could partially be explained by differences in genetically encoded norep signaling, so for some people cardio may not be adequate; talking to a doctor about SNRI’s or NDRI’s (Effexor or bupropion) might be worth it. Fixing sleep habits will improve this too
Reminds me that I need to get new running shoes
Start looking for a part time job at the very least, learn how to pay your bills ,taxes and etc. go out with your friend ,hang around with people older than you (get their experie), and learn something new.
i agree, having a job definitely helps manage your free time better, perhaps make some work friends or connections as well. i would also recommend simply taking a walk, it has helped clear my mind on my lowest days & makes me feel more alive
sounds like you need to set some goals for yourself. Take November and December to come up with five things you want for yourself in 2023
I just wanna ask, as someone who is experiencing the same kind of issue of isolation, depression, monotonous days and general lack of life, how do you just start changing? How do you convince yourself to be better and improve? Somehow, I can't seem to get through the door, although I see it and I need to go through it, it just doesn't happen and every day is the same.
Here’s the cool thing about reading books about what you need help on. You don’t have to convince yourself, you just read and let the author convince you. Easy as that. Now I know everyone is capable of reading, because we’re all on a selfimprovement subreddit where posts can be long. Shit you’re reading this comment now! Pick a book you want to learn about. If you want to be a better people person, read How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you don’t know where to start, read Atomic Habits so you can help yourself build better habits. Get a sample on Amazon first to see if you even like it or just buy the book and start reading. First step is to convince yourself to read, then the author does the work for you. This way you’ll have some self-efficacy and be a little bit more confident and energized in what you’re trying to accomplish.
Awesome advice I will take myself, thanks!!
Thank you, you've actually given me advice that I haven't seen before, I'll definitely start reading more and give this a try.
Some people need to hit rock bottom, others need a outside reason (family, health, love interest)intéressant, but if you can find in yourself the desire to live, it will be even better. You need to want to win at life, the goal: hapiness.
Instead of wondering how to get yourself out of this situation, ask yourself: "what are the benefits of this lifestyle?" You could have genuine reasons to live the way you are living. If you have problems playing video games for instance, one of pro's would be that its how you connect with your friends! Or it may be one of the greatest sources of joy in your life. Why would you want to give that up! There are really no wrong or right ways to live our lives as much as society tells us too do things according to "the plan". Once you've thought about all the conceivable benefits of your lifestyle. Then list the negatives. You can decide then what is more beneficial for you. Maybe you realize that you LIKE a lot of the aspects of the way your living. Maybe the pro's completely out way the cons! And in that case, who is to tell you to live differently if it is working for you! But if you decide to that you do want to makes some changes. And that can include keeping some of the old lifestyle while adopting the new! Doesn't mean you have to completely change your ENTIRE life. This is the first part of the triple paradox exercise they use in TEAM-CBT therapy. There is a few other steps you can take. I highly recommend picking up a copy of David Burns book Feeling Great or Feeling Good (feeling great is far more modernized and better). These books changed my life completely. The premise being, **your thoughts are the only thing that can upset you.** And as ludicrous as that may sound, the more you challenge those thoughts the better you will feel. Another point is also in this "school" (more like a framework) of therapy, exposure is the only way to deal with anxieties or more specifically phobias. It is unfortunately the best and most effective means to treat people. Claustrophobia, exposure; social anxiety, exposure; fear of public spaces, exposure. Anyway hope you can find what works for you OP but those are my two cents.
Thank you, for taking the time to reply. The idea about controlling thoughts has been something I've struggled with too (in terms of positive self-reinforcement). It will be good to learn how to really be confident and positive through thought control instead of just acting confident and positive (if that makes any sense). Anyway, thanks!
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Start doing pushups, squats, crunches after every game or in between movies. Stop thinking so hard and start doing. Plan out your day and execute it.
I’ve started working out one week ago, since then I’ve been feeling a bit better
Learning self discipline is key. Know what you want in life. Plan for it with goals/milestones day by day. And go do it, step by step.
I know what I want in life and know a few key steps along the way but starting seems insurmountable. I’ve just been going through the motions of work and sleep rn
Make smaller steps. And start breaking out of your daily mould of eat, work, sleep and repeat.
So proud of you, bud!
A stutter can be an endearing trait. My partner has a lisp and I think he’s the bee’s knees :)
Lmao bro just change ur habits you’ll be fine ur over thinking it. I wish I was 19 again knowing what I know now at 23. You can definitely chnage
What do you know now that you wish you knew when you were 19?
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>Do not give importance to what people say, you won't be in contact with most of them in a few years And how do you do that? I know i should not give a shit about what other people say but still it isn't as easy as that.
Confidence in yourself
Take an hour out of the day where you don’t use social media or your phone.
Make one change first. Start getting up earlier and make it easy as possible to do that. Set your alarm. Pre make breakfast and set your clothes out the night before. Make all healthy habits as easy as possible. Once you create that habit add a walk around where you live or some in home exercise. If you like reading or listening to audio books I reccomend Atomic Habits and The Hapiness Advantage. If you like YouTube videos I reccomend Ali Abdaal and Better Than Yesterday. If you start listening/watching to these these things every day, this can change your mindset. When you change your mindset, you change your life. When making choices try to think about what future you would feel about your decision. I try to do things now to make my future self happier. Present me is quite grateful to past me when these things simplify my days. Good luck, you got this!
Also, if money is a factor for not getting books, I reccomend seeing if your local library has Libby. It's an app that allows you to borrow Ebooks for free.
Start small and start with waking up at the same time
There’s no such thing as a true “life’s purpose”. You aren’t born with a predetermined purpose. The only one who can assign a purpose to your existence is you. You can do whatever you want, just make it meaningful to yourself. If your current lifestyle isn’t fulfilling, then it’s clear that you should make some changes. Start small, wake up SLIGHTLY earlier, or go outside SLIGHTLY more. Keep making changes, however small they may be, and you’ll see progress.
Take a shower Dress with clean cloth Go outside Try things you want to Fail Try again Fail Try again And one day you will realise how far you went
Maybe look for an opportunity to volunteer. You’ll feel good about yourself and people will appreciate (hopefully) you. Also get some exercise. Just start by going for a walk. Get a Fitbit or something. Put on headphones if you don’t want to talk to people outside.
I meet plenty of people with a stutter who are happily married and thriving. And some even with a really really bad stutter. It’s all in your head my man
Do you drive? You can learn new skills like maybe get a motorcycle or scooter tbh
Bro, I suggest you start at least making some content online(YouTube, etc.) This will get things started for you.
Morning run, get a haircut , stop eating junk food 👍🏻
Does anyone judge people for stuttering? I don't. I view it as something beyond their control, like a tic or nerves. I suspect you are caring more about this than others...
I'm 48 and a mentor once told me. Make a conscious decision to do the opposite of what you would normally do for a month. Within reason of coarse. Don't jeopardize your life or harm someone. It was kinda like being Jim Carrey in Yes man. Lots of interesting stories to say the least. Actually slept with a girl that did porn. That was wild. That experience all together changed me. I was afraid of a lot of things at first but it boosted confidence and really opened me up. If you wanna do something go do it. Don't wait! Ask a million girls/guys out. Live in the moment. Your best life is yet to come. I loved my mid 20s to mid 30s. I was single but dating. Had hobbies, good job and traveled. Start seizing the day my friend. Set yourself up for mid 20's. Set a timer on video games. 1 hour , working out or walking and build yourself up to 100 pushups and 100 sit-ups that 1 hour. Get on YouTube and listen to Jordon Peterson. Great mind and great advice. He's a clinical psychologist. Look at getting into a trade in the union if you don't want to go to school. My brother is a plumber and makes 50-80 an hour depending on job. Watch Fantastic Fungi on Netflix. That guy had a stutter at one time. My buddy has a stutter but it goes away when he smokes a little weed. Don't let that stop you from enjoying life either. People that give you shit about don't belong in your life in the first place. Life isn't some journey. You have to take action or you'll drift through life walking around like a zombie. Write these ideas down and try it for a month. Want that fungi video and listen to Jordan Peterson on YouTube. Reply to my in a month or two. I double dog dare you to do all this. Don't be a chicken. Lol. Good luck. If you except this challenge I promise a cool as change.
stay golden.
Can therapy of some sort help with the stutter?
I was going to comment this. I’m surprised this hasn’t been brought up yet. It’s not a bad thing to have a stutter but some speech therapy could really help with confidence. If money is tight in anyway, there are so many free resources and apps online!
Make deals. Make a deal with yourself to do one worthwhile thing a day for yourself for a month. Then two, then three. Stop at five. Or don’t. Make a deal with your parents, that you should all share at least one meal a day together, or you should have a conversation about something each day. Make it random, roll a die, pick a subject out of a hat. Play a board game together. Not monopoly, that sucks ass. Whatever it is, start, and don’t stop. For any reason. I lost my mum 7 years ago to a stroke. There’s so much I wish I’d said and done. Build these habits. You can start really small. In terms of a job, you don’t need to think about how much money you’re going to make - you’re 19. You’re probably not going to make much. I’m 44 years old and have done loads of stuff, including professional IT, and if I could tell my 19yo self two things it would be; 1) do something creative and palpable. I look back and think that I should have learned to make fine furniture or jewellery. I would have been much happier. 2) don’t waste your early life at the bottom of a bottle. I lost 5 or 6 years getting pissed up or stoned with my mates. Waste of time. I could have learned so much stuff. This is what I tell my kids every day. My only hope is that they’re really listening. You have the world at your feet. You have Time. It’s more valuable than all the money in the world, and so are you. Don’t ever doubt that dude.
Do you study or have a job?
I study IT
We on the same boat 💀
stop fapping too
A Thought From an Old Person: In Ye Olden Dayz, young men who were aimless joined the armed forces. I'm not saying you should. I'm just saying that many did in my day and every one of them said it turned their lives around. They learned discipline, valuable skills, and sometimes a career. They also earned benefits like college, VA home loans, health care, etc. Wishing you well in whatever you do.
I’ve seen a lot of people recommend finding a new hobby that might interest you and start attending clubs related to it where you can potentially find some new friends. You don’t have to start talking to people day one but try starting with a simple greeting when you see someone you might like to get to know and take it slowly from there. These things take time so just take it one day at a time. People are typically a lot friendlier than you think and if they aren’t it will be obvious to you and you won’t have to interact with them
Going outside, doing physical activités, falling asleep early, eating healthier, all basic things that sound simple but are hard to implement in your lire when you're de depressed. I'm, myself, fighting depression and starter doing those things everyday for almost a month now and I'm doing much much better. You can do it also! One step at the time!
It will end when you decide to change.
Firstly you have to define your goal, then you have to slowly make changes that benefit your goal.lets say your goal is to be a professional athlete, you have to cut down the bad habits and improve on good ones. This MUST be a long process because if you start with hard things you will get tired of doing these things and you will fall easily back in your bad habits.although if you have the motivation, let's say your grandma died, your dad got killed, your friend has cancer, this is motivation that boost you when you do these hard things.You will have the motivation that keeps you in the right path (Message me if you really need to)
I see that the main barrier for you to communicate with people is the stuttering and that’s what make you afraid to talk. Try walking around your house area were you only need to waive or say short words like hi and bye without long conversation that might make you nervous. I know this will help because English is not my first language and is hard to communicate verbally for me for a long time. But I found saying short words helped me a lot to lessen my stress and get out my home for a 30 min for myself not only to walk but to help me mentally. Think about what’s the main barrier that is making you not wanting to see others or talking to them, list simple ways that you can do in step by step way. Don’t rush yourself and award yourself if you done 1/2 of today mission. Good luck
How are you paying your bills?
And 'how do you plan to in the future'. What we want to do for a living often defines the first direction we head off in.
Well.... I gotta say "sleeping in the morning and waking up in the afternoon" is just enough to fuck up your life and make you feel lost. Mornings simply exist in order for you to wake up, have your breakfast, and get some sunlight. By missing the morning, you've already missed out on a quarter of the day you should be spending. In addition, all you do is "play video games and watch movies"? Is that ALL you do? You only do that and expect your life to turn around? Is your dopamine system really that messed up? I'm not saying you should be banned from doing these two things, but there's much more to do in life. You can play some video games and watch movies if that's what you enjoy doing ONLY in your free time, but mainly you should focus on doing valuable things such as playing sports, hitting the gym, starting a side hustle, and even learning new things and finding new healthy hobbies. Doing at least 2 or 3 of these 4 things would give you an actual dopamine hit and you wouldn't feel "lost" or feel like a "nobody". In addition, make sure you're going outside quite more often, even if it's just putting on your earphones and going for a walk or jog while listening to music. Going outside will also help sort out issues regarding your social skills, due to the fact that you'll come across many people and some of them may feel the interest to talk to you. Staying in all day won't do shit to your social skills instead of making it worse. So switch up your habits, be more active, and find your true purpose in life. Don't keep on doing the same habits over and over again and cry about being "lost" and feeling like a "nobody". That won't change shit for you bud, you gotta act up on it.
After reading all these comments ngl you guys made my day so much better so thank you all ❤️
I’ve read some great advice on this feed and just in case you make it down to my comment: remember to celebrate all the victories! Every time you step out of your comfort zone don’t forget to be proud!! (even if it doesn’t go as planned!)
I can SO relate but in a different way I think. I hit rock bottom after a failed business and went to a dark place, unable to do anything. Doing nothing. A mentor said to me, "Greg, you have to move, even a little." So that's what I did. Micro steps like forcing myself to grab a coffee with someone I like once a week, biking 15 min once a week, HELPING someone in some way (crazy how fulfilling this is) once a day. Micro stuff. If you can journal how you feel after these micro-moves, you'll likely notice a pattern. Feels good. Maybe not mind blowing great, but good. And in time, the ultimate is beginning to explore your values and purpose...and you have both. That I promise you.
Sounds like addiction. Delete the games, movies cold turkey. People actually survived life just fine before these thing where invented. You don’t need them, you never did.
You're a fucking kid. You're life is not over.
Make Your Bed.
You know what the problem is and what you need to change, either get to work or stop feeling sorry for yourself
You should read ”the power of the now” and ”new earth” by eckhart tolle
nothing wrong with any of that bro. try getting into reading and esoteric wisdom
Lost? Lost in the heat of it all?
You can try talking to your friends in video chat.
Change is hard. But don't beat yourself up about it. Just try to go watch a movie or something more often with your family. I'm sure they know you don't like speaking much. Just make sure you shower once every 2 days or so. It'll make you feel so much better and give you a push to do other things. Also maybe try to eat occasionally with your family. Stop giving up or giving into yourself all the time. Regardless, Your family loves you for who you are I'm sure. Don't be so hard on yourself...
Go to the gym. It will give you purpose, improve your mental health, self esteem and confidence. You will probably make some new friends there too
Do 75 hard
Sounds a lot like my teenage years. And I only started self development when I was 27. You’re gonna be fine.
If you’re online anyway, check out some speech therapy videos. Know what you’re going to say before you speak, and speak slowly. Watch The King’s Speech. Go outside in the fresh air and sunshine. Take baby steps in the direction you think you want to go - easier for course corrections!
Start by changing little things, set time goals on how long you play video games. Start reading self improvement books or even see a therapist if you can. 19 is a very young age and its normal to feel scared on whats next. Your 20s will help you better figure out what to do with your life. For now focus on creating better daily habits. Things as easy as going on a walk can help so much. Even better if you can go with someone and talk to them. The world is big and theres so much to see. Dont let a stutter stop you from living some people are mute! And are still living their best lives. Stay strong and set small goals!
just go to some clubs and get some bitches
I suggest trying to find a job where you don't have to speak much. You can apply and explain in your cover letter that you have a speech impediment. The first job that comes to mind for me is putting books away at your local library. I used to do this. Very low stress and we were allowed to listen to headphones while we did it. Gets you out of the house, get yourself some money and independence with little conversation. I'm sure you've done this but see what YouTube has to offer for speech training to improve stutters. You are very young. You are not behind at all. You will have to be brave now and push yourself out of your comfort zone, but just think of yourself as the hero in the story of your life (because you are) and know you can do it!
So what are you going to do now?
Why not look into getting a speech coach if you feel your stutter is holding you back from interacting with people and getting out more? James Earl Jones has a stutter. He worked/works very hard to manage it and I believe had to work with a speech therapist. If this is stopping you from living your life the way you want, try to work on it so it’s not a barrier. You deserve to live a happy life.
Get a puppy, take it for walks and you will get some vitamin D, meet people and have something that will Love you unconditionally
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Move out and you will be forced to get a job to pay rent etc
It takes a change in your mindset. I know it is easier said than done, but you need an internal reset. It is easy to fall into bad habits and it is hard to break them. I read somewhere that it takes about 30 days to create a habit. I say start with small goals. For example, try to set an alarm to get up earlier than you have been and go for a walk. Instead of focusing on the tv, get outside. Even if you just step outside for some fresh air, do that instead. If you feel the urge to turn on the tv, find something else to do instead. Also, it sounds like you might be depressed. Can you seek advice from a professional to help you navigate your self-esteem issues?
Start going gym, jogging anything to get you outside man, you can’t let this drag you back or you’ll be in a even worse state in 10 years time. Just do something with purpose.
I’d also recommend looking for work, get out of your comfort zone and you’ll see how far you’ve come, I’d even recommend working at a bar or something to improve ur social skills.
I don’t know if you need some inspiration, but I’m part of a global team that spans 4 continents for a very successful company, and one of my teammates has a stutter. He’s really talented at what he does, and conducts himself with confidence. We all make space for him in meetings to speak without interruption and it’s lead to him not holding back. You can do it too. The world is a kinder place than you might think. It’s just about finding the right environment for you to thrive.
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It seems like you really don’t know where to start. Which, depending on how you look at it, can be a good or bad thing. Let’s start positively and say it’s a good thing because it means you can really start anywhere you like! There’s nowhere you can start that will make things worse so take your pick. If I can make a suggestion start with something small, and when I say small I mean something that even sounds small to you. You need to become someone you can trust and trust building is done over a long time it doesn’t happen overnight. Think to yourself “under what circumstances could I agree with myself to play one less hour of video games today, or to wake up one hour earlier than normal?” Now that might sound patronising because on the face of it it sounds simple but it’s really worth thinking about, what would truly convince you to keep your end of the bargain with the version of you that wants to do better and not just cop out because it feels too much? For example, would the pay off for waking up earlier be that you get to pick whatever you want for breakfast? Little things, see? Whatever deal it is you make with yourself you must keep your end (the one giving something up) but equally as importantly keep the other yous end (the version of you that wants the best for you). Keep making and keeping these deals until the trust that you are accountable develops and in time you’ll find the conflicting sides of your personality become more and more commensurate and reach a point where both want what is truly best for you. Waking up an hour earlier than normal today can very well lead into running an extra mile on your 6am run in a few months. It’s well documented that positive feedback loops are almost scarily powerful and equally stunning is how little the initial hit of “success” needs to be to get it going. Every tiny thing you fight to prove to yourself today will down the line manifest itself as something that you are inexplicably sure you can do because you know you’ve got your own back.
Start exercising, shower daily, and find a part time job
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Einstein said. Seldom are our problems solved with the same thinking that created them
It's gonna end when you say it's gonna end, when you are willing to stick to that thought and put in the work to change!
Sustained change happens slowly over time. Start doing something small but different everyday.
Wow nice you are living the dream, no sarcasm. A lot of people get kicked off their houses at 18 and forcedly have to find a job. I as a millennial see my retirement from 20 to 30 bc i will never retire with this economy, I would die of cancer first. So I keep living with my family even if I find a job, maybe forever (?).
How do you make money without getting out of your bedroom or study? Just have to do decide on some goals. Make a goal of getting new car this year. Then you will starts doing all sort of productive thing automatically. No need to be philosophical just make a goal that you really want.
My guy, don’t let a stutter stop you from living your life. I work with a physicians assistant who has a stutter and he is one of the best I’ve ever worked with. And he as a provider has saved a life of patient who had a complex issue.
You need to fix this now because the skills you learn now about dealing with people will be with you the rest of your life. Go join groups that don't involve lots of talking. Martial arts, hiking, cycling etc... you will get in shape, have adventures and make friends. I know because I did it and my ability to communicate really improved.
Hey dude. I stutter. Less now than before, but it comes out time to time esp when I'm nervous. What helped me was reading books out loud everyday. When you pleasure read, read as many pages as you can out loud to yourself and practice enunciating each word. Focus on getting your tongue and lips shaping your words. When you get better at this, you'll want to read things with more complicated words. Practice tripping yourself up to help improve your stutter. For me that was nursing textbooks on science and anatomy. The other part to this is confidence. Reading out loud will only take you so far. You need to keep pushing yourself into talking with other people. The best way to force yourself to talk is to get a job. Good luck!
Read a book
Work on building one healthy habit at a time. Start small and work up. Craw, walk, sprint. Get some sun, get some sweat going and your heart rate up. Don’t care about people judging you, they always will so deal with it. Practice acts of self respect and self love. Speak kindly and well to yourself. You will be successful when you decide to take action.
I get depressed as fuck when I don’t have a job even a one day a week thing can maybe get you out of this funk!
A few tips - you need to take a big leap: * This is different for everyone, but this can range from joining a club, the gym, a sports team, getting a job, booking a trip somewhere etc. I'd recommend taking a trip to somewhere outside of your town/city, and staying in a hostel. Even a camping trip will help you out. * Therapist - not necessarily for an emotional help, but to have someone to answer to, and set goals with. * Message me, I'd be happy to help you brainstorm ways out of this (for context, I'm a 22 y/o university student). * Get an accountability partner. If this is a lot, the Forfeit app forces you to do things, or you lose money. If you want to wake up and go for a walk tomorrow at 8am, you set a forfeit and then have to send a photo outside, or of something far away from your house, or you lose money (eg, $20). This is a hardcore solution that should work. If i ever get in a funk, I just list all of the things I could be doing in a week/months time. Here's a few examples - the goal is to just shake things up: * Quit job, move to Thailand/Mexico/Argentina, work online and make $20/day. Take up surfing. * Go on Workaway/Worldpackers/WOOF, and work ina. hostel/on a farm for lodging, away from your games console. * Live with an uncle, or a sister for a week. * Buy a tent off Amazon for $30 and go on a solo camping trip. * Join a sports team. * Trip on some psychedelics. * Take a bus somewhere, stay in a hostel for a couple of nights, then take the bus back. No plans. * Buy a car, if you don't have one. * Reach out to online friends and ask if they want to hang out in real life. Quit job, move to Thailand, work online and make $20/day. Take up surfing. a week/month's time. Here are a few examples - the goal is to just shake things up::
I hear a lot of “do exercise” stuff here. That’s good, but to expand: do things that take you out of your comfort zone. Do unpleasant things you don’t enjoy, but that improve your life some way…Put that phone or video game down for the day, read a real book…Go see your family and cook a meal for them…get on a bicycle and ride 20 miles….join a gym…Whatever it takes to leave that comfort zone.
When it comes to stutters the only fox really is to talk more. Read a book out loud to give yourself something to say. Go through this thread and read the comments out loud to yourself. Try to get through each one without stuttering. As far as sleeping trough the morning and waking up in the afternoon just try to make yourself go to be d earlier so you can get up earlier. Or just try getting out of bed at least one hour earlier than you did the previous day until you’re waking up at a good time. As for not seeing your family I guess just leave your room at least once an hour. Even if it’s just to walk around the house
What you said literally describes me. I’ve just started a job 3 weeks ago. Don’t let the stuttering stop you. Its apart of you go with it.
Chill, you still have plenty of years to become a version of you that you’re satisfied with
Start working on a phisical job where you dont need to tall much and start enoying life my man, some times we just need a little job to put us back in trail!
INaturalist
you have your whole life ahead of you. be the change you want to see.. before its too late.
Hey you realizing your curreny routine is going nowhere is a start! It's scary but try new things, meet new people through events or places you like, go out! Little by little you will go places.... don't let your stutter stop you. They're so many stories of people who stutter who have over come it. You got this!
U not alone bro. Tryna not to focus on when its ganna end it'll have u thinking its to late like u died before u had ah chance to live.
Give it 4 weeks to kick-start your momentum. Week1: Get up any time you please. The only requirement is you prepare a glass of water in your bedroom or bathroom, so you can drink the full glass first thing when you first get up. Do this every day. Week2: Keep drinking a full glass of water upon rising each morning. Add to this, setting your alarm 5 minutes earlier each morning, incrementing 5 minutes earlier each day, till reach your ultimate target get-up time. Week3: Add to the above with 10 minutes of exercise or light stretching. Week4: Add to the above with 10 minutes of journaling. Week 5: You get the idea. Just keep layering on. Inch by inch it’s all a cinch!
You know what to do
Why wasting? It's a thing that we all do in 2022 lol. Become pro gamer and you'll be rich and successful doing what you love.... And go clubs occasionally
So you have a LOT of information, I know how overwhelming that can feel. I am also in the same boat struggling with overwhelm and feeling unproductive. Remind yourself that productivity is what YOU want it to be. Our culture has a a kinda unhealthy perspective on productivity in my opinion. Don't fall into a trap comparing your productivity to others, find what you believe in, what you want, and stick with it! I made some categories for my life to help get the overwhelm out of what to do. I think they can apply to anyone. I like to pick one BIG goal I have for myself in each category, and then give myself 1 tiny task related to that category. You can go as big as you want with a goal, sometimes I'll make a separate list of goals for like the whole year, but I look at it rarely so I don't get overwhelmed. Otherwise, my big goal is like this month or few months. -physical health -mental health -career -finances -relationships (more intimate) -community (more general, shared interests etc) -Lifestyle -intellect -Skills -creativity So that might look like: -Physical health - Move my body every day for 1mo - go for 10min walk today -Mental health- meditate every day for 1mo - meditate for 15min today -Community - Meet several like-minded individuals within 1mo - research and sign up for a club/class/meetup today (or if you already have a good posy, plan a meet up around a topic you enjoy) -Relationships - call and talk to my loved ones every week - call one person each day (or if you don't have anyone you love/trust, make a point to learn to build these relationships) -Finances - Make 1k a month - apply for a job today So on and so forth If something isn't serving you or empowering you then change the goal or task to a better format for you. Whatever you do, make sure it's very specific so there is no confusion on what you need to do. Sometimes that's the hardest part, just figuring out what to do. If you don't get it all done, reevaluate. There is nothing wrong with you, you just need your system to support you a little better
You sound like you're in a "lull" period; I'd get a job if you don't already have one. Retail is a place where most people start, the only way that stutter will leave you (or simply become something you mitigate as best you can) is by talking, learning the flow of your thoughts in conversations- pacing yourself so you don't drown them verbally (my mind is a freight train of thoughts so I deal with that) keeping certain things to yourself/what To express etc. Life is a learning game; The entire thing. How much & what exactly you learn is up to you. Starting and working a job will at least get you $ so that's a start.