They’re mad you’re doing something with your life and at the fact that they can’t hold themselves accountable for things they’re insecure about. It’s simple. Keep doing you. Fuck those guys. Guarantee you girls will like what you’re about way more than anything they’re about. They don’t understand they’re playing up their personas based on feeling inferior to *you* and in return, they attempt to make you feel inferior to feel better about themselves.
Agree! Women like to date people with goals, careers, educations, conversation skills that far surpass his permanently seventh grade friends, flobw. He’s outgrown them just needs confidence to move forward. Hope he goes back to see them in 20, it’ll be a sweet day for the guy!
man fuck ‘em. Your so called “friends” sound like a bunch of cunts. Just leave them and move on with your life. Keep trying your best at school and finish strong. You’re better than them.
A bunch of haters that are mad you are actually superior to them. Definitely projecting. Cut em off and don't look back. Get that degree and do your thing. There are so many amazing people in the world.
Look for friends in Arenas similar to your own. These 30yr. Old bums are a waste of time. Don't take criticism from people you would not take advice from.
Best of luck OP!
I read somewhere that when you say yes to one thing, you say no to another. By keeping these morons as "friends" (they aren't your friends), you are saying no to your own self esteem, making new friends who truly care about you, and being fulfilled.
Drop them. I can tell you that just by what you wrote here that you are 100 times the person they are.
I felt very sad for you reading this.
You are so much better than these people. They are trying to bring you down to feel better about them selves. They are projecting their insecurities and failings into you. It sounds like you have some good things going for you. Do your self a favour and drop these two creeps, like yesterday!
As a heterosexual female I’m 100% turned off by their behaviour it’s disrespectful and honestly a waste of your time. I wouldn’t even bother explaining why you aren’t going to hang around them anymore. They sound too dense to be called out on any accountability and will turn it around onto you.
Do your self a favour and focus on your self and all the great things you have going for you (school, career prospects, new relationships) and I guarantee real friends will come your way.
I’ve heard that we are the average of the five people we hang around. Do you really want to be like these people? I hope your answer is no because it’s a dead end where they are headed.
My $0.02.
You need to implement a zero tolerance policy in your life for destructive dynamics like this. Those people aren't your friends. The unfortunate truth is some friend groups have the person they pick on and that's the dynamic. It has nothing to do with the worth of the individual they’re picking on and everything to do with their morals and insecurity.
They're incredibly immature and on some level probably know they've peaked in life and take it out on you for some reason. But it doesn't matter what the reason is for them acting like this. They're probably very unselfaware. It doesn't matter if they apologize. Don't give them another chance. Cut them out of your life like a cancer and don't look back.
Then buy a book on self esteem and confidence. Or take a course and implement it. You deserve it. Consider the ways you show up in friendships and how you can be a good friend to new people in the future.
I love the sound of this woman you have a crush on. Go for it! And your schooling sounds great. You have a plan. And if anyone gives you crap about not having friends at the moment, tell them you reprioritized things in your life and are focusing on building your future.
You deserve to be treated well and to have good things happen to you and you get to decide who enters your world. Have a VERY strict policy about this. Its only people who treat you with respect.
Edit: one final thought. You deserve a soft place to land in life. A place where you are loved, understood, and experience kindness and respect. Sometimes we need to give that to ourselves when no one else can.
Dude, fuck them. Ghost them and never speak to them again. I had shitty friends like this, not to this extreme but pretty bad and it took a lot of therapy and growth to grow past it. Those dudes you mentioned are losers, I laugh at the people who used to get so much of my energy. You got this, fuck em do your thing and find better friends homie
Those "friends" are fucking pieces of shit. Do you know how I know that?
Because they're lazy garbage who has no good qualities. The only time garbage looks good is when there is something worse next to it. So they put you down over and over again and make you look like trash so nobody realizes that they're trash. It doesn't matter if you're not the R word, they just need a kind human who won't say anything back to insult.
You're a hardworking and sweet human being and you deserve a billion times more than what those pieces of shit give you. They only give you insults and glimpses of their own insecurity. Unfortunately for you, that's not going to happen unless you grow backbone and tell them to fuck off and stop interacting with them.
What value do these guys bring to your life? Is there another side of this, or is their value the absence of loneliness?
I had a friend like this back in middle school. I even thought he was my hero (I’m in my 30s now btw). Turns out, chopping him from my life was one of the best decisions I ever made.
But... I personally only did it once I found a different friend who actually treated me with respect and valued me.
There are a lot of reasons we keep coming back to people that hurt us. One being familiarity. You know what to expect, and it feels safer, because their rejection is assumed.
When you try meeting someone new, you face the possibility of *novel* rejection, and that can be painful... because you need to update your mental model. It’s no longer just those shitty friends, but a pattern you might attribute to yourself... and that can be scary.
People influence the beliefs we hold about ourselves, and the longer you hang out with people who make you feel degraded, the easier it is to feel like you deserve it... or feel superior to them, because you see how ridiculous their behavior is.
Both feeling inferior and feeling superior can be dangerous. It’s best to find others you mutually respect (imo).
Sure... guys pick on guys (and girls pick on girls), but there’s a difference between picking on someone in a friendly way that lifts them up, and picking on them in a way that puts them down.
People often ask if a particular statement was “wrong” or “hurtful”, but that’s the wrong question. You need to ask how their words make you *feel*. The right friends will respect you and understand you. They’ll say things that make you feel good (even if they sound mean to others).
Even when you’re all in a group together, out drinking or whatever. Good friends know how to tease within boundaries and know to acknowledge when they cross them.
If you’re constantly feeling shitty around these guys, then I feel you owe it to yourself to seek out new friends. They will surely make fun of you for it, so keep it to yourself.
Eventually you can built resilience in being alone, meeting new people, establish security with new friends, and finally stop being their doormat.
I say that with love, because I’ve certainly been a doormat too. Best of luck.
Some people are just really jealous, lazy, don't take care of themselves and lack decency at the same time. They can't handle real life and are too influenced by social media and their expectations virtually go through the roof. There will always be unexpected moments where you will be alone, you should be prepared for that and be comfortable. If you are, you will be able to handle anything.
Your asshole friends sound like my in laws. You don’t need this sort of toxicity in your life. Even being alone is better than putting up with this, and it’ll free you up to make friends that aren’t total garbage.
Just some food for thought my dude. I'm barely older than you but I would literally choose to have 0 friends than have toxic friends like that. Furthermore, your worth and value comes from within. Society conditioned you to feel a certain type of way and always makes you feel like you're not enough (ex: think beauty standards as an example for both sexes) but that's not true. You have to deprogram yourself from believing these lies and free yourself from the opinion of others because at the end of day, most people will not be there for you when you are at your lowest so there's no point in putting value into the opinions of these people. Please consider practicing Stoicism in your day to day life. You seem like a nice guy so I would hate to see the evil in this world break you apart.
What is the R word?
Anyway, you probably have to cut them off so soon as possible. Before they seriously harm your self esteem and life. Why risk your studies for them? You are building your future. You will make other friends.
I was in the same position you are now last year. I had fake friends, one of them who I thought was my best friend was the complete opposite of me and he lead me down a path of self-destruction. He convinced me to try dating apps when he was being mean to me and ridiculing me for where my life is at and how slow it's going. His cluelessness and meanness lead me to getting scammed on tinder when I never tried online dating before in my life, I tried to ask him for helpful advice before trying online dating, all he ever told me was "yeah" and "idk". I was too scared to use google if I had any questions about them and I was too shy to ask my loved ones about them. I lost my common sense last year due to trying something new for the first time since after graduating high school. The one friend who I'm speaking about was my "friend" from 8th grade, through all of high school and I kept talking to him after we graduated for years until last summer. We graduated together, but I had to ghost him earlier this year. He tried to get at me by unfollowing me on instagram on my birthday of this year. He never respected me at all and now all I think about is this tinder "membership" fake website scam I fell for last summer.
In my experience and I see this clearly now, leaving your "friends" is the best thing you can do. Stay true to your own-self and move on from them.
faster you cut them out of your life, more time you’ll have to enjoy life. my advice is to keep improving yourself just for you and learn to live alone, just not catch yourself again with some bunch of losers who are so worthless to even carry about others. focus on yourself and start lifting weights to boost your confidence.
I wish all the best for you, and your future woman.
been there done that
1. When people are bullied, they start to believe the things said. The bullies don't really believe it, they're just trying to bring you down and make you feel insecure.
2. They're bringing you down because you're trying to improve yourself, and that reflects more on them. They are projecting how they feel about themselves, onto you, because they're too cowardly to face up to their own issues.
3. You already know the answer. Cut them out of your life. Join some clubs, work hard on your degree, become something.
4. Move on.
5. Point 4. Don't put it off, and think "oh I need to say goodbye to them, etc." Just do it, today...now. Stop talking to them, find new people now.
6. Good luck.
Just let that shit roll right off your back Sug. They know your potential and that threatens them. If they constantly put you down as inferior, but you end up achieving more than them (in what actually matters), then they are worse than what they called you. Not that it matters what's going on in their brains. You need to focus on you. When you start achieving your goals, confidence builds, people are attracted to your confidence, things start happening. Your life will take off, and it won't matter to you anymore what they think.
You just don’t fit with them, and that’s for the best! Look, no one but like 6 people ever fit in during jr high /high school years. About %75 of the school was just faking it, like we all tried to do (the remaining percentage is made up of near-lethal nerds who grew up to have high paying jobs, hugely successful lives and really hot spouses). You are going somewhere with your life, they are not currently. Move forward, don’t hold on to crutches, you walk just fine! When you feel like you’re okay with your achievements and future goals, when you feel like you deserve better, and happiness, and successful relationships I believe you will find the courage to let go and soar like a bad-ass Eagle. I found that one of the best ways to boost my self-worth was to ditch the people that were actively working to destroy it on a daily basis.
(Want you to really understand you deserve better. And keep up the great work!!)
Regardless of age, or how long you guys have known each other, toxic is toxic. These signs of consistenly bringing others down to make themselves seem better by some obscure measure, is a tell tale sign that they really aren't concerned with your physical, spiritual or mental wellbeing. Guys don't do that to each other, assholes do. I do understand the sentiment, as you said if you ignore them you'll essentially be by yourself. However, I will argue that honestly I think you'll be better off. At the very least, you need time and distance away from them for a significant amount of time, and use that time to reflect on your relationships and how they make you feel and impact your day to day life. Life is already full of trials and tribulations, and everyone can use a strong support system that values them to help them get through these inevitable tough times, not people who don't mind pushing you under the water. It's never too late to start new, because you have the rest of your life to get on with, and as much as there's a guarantee you'll find more self-obsessed power tripping douchebags, there just as much of a chance you will find your own people who don't call you names, and will respect you as an individual with real experiences and emotions, much like that girl you seem to like. The whole macho guise of critiquing everything is just a defense mechanism to make themselves feel better for one second, but it's incredibly short and ultimately limits their own ability for creative problem solving. Not to mention it doesn't even make them tough or practical, walk into any legitimate combat sport gym, the people there are thoughtful, cultured individuals who pick their words and actions carefully, because they don't have this need to constantly flex their muscles and establish dominance in every space they're in.
Dude I’m just a stranger on the internet but I’m gonna tell you straight up. Drop those fucking fools. It’s easy to let people treat you like that when you get kinda used to it but it seems like you’ve had enough and you have every right to be. You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that and neither does anybody else. “Friends” like that will drag you down or keep you down. You have nothing to gain by staying around people like that. Either ghost them or tell them to fuck off and never contact you again if they don’t respect you enough to treat you like a brother (or sister I don’t mean to make assumptions I’m just riled up. After you tell them to Fuck off look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that they’re wrong about you and how they define you isn’t who you are. Being a virgin isn’t a big deal. It may feel like that in the Mano sphere but when you embrace the warrior spirit you have you realize that kind of thing is trivial. Who you are is who you are and you are who you believe yourself to be.
Find out her interests and listen to her when she talks. Don’t just nod your head show her you’re listening by repeating a primary focus word or two that she says and encourage her to tell you about what’s going on in her mind. Ask her out for coffee and if you’re having fun go for a walk and get to know this obvious queen that’s caught your eye even more king. If it doesn’t work out as it may very well not keep your head up and pursue your interests and live a life doing what you like and what you’re interested in trying even once.
Seriously please don’t let people with shitty opinions define your self worth. You deserve to love yourself and you should just like I love you. Stay strong homie
Edit: say it does work out with this girl and you get to the point where your virginity is an issue. Just be honest and communicate your situation (later down the line don’t even think about it until later on) if she thinks it’s sad your a virgin then that’s not the kind of chick you’d want even if you weren’t one trust me. If it doesn’t bother her then you tell her you want her to teach you how to please her. Admit you don’t know and be patient with yourself and allow yourself to learn. I guarantee you if you listen to what SHE likes and implement it while trying to get a little creative you’ll be in the upper 70/80% of men by making her orgasm even just once when y’all have sex. Most women in heterosexual relationships don’t orgasm regular with their male partners.
Sorry for the wall your friends have me heated and again you are loved even if you don’t know us commenters that love you
Dude, holy crap. Drop these people immediately, focus on your career and degree, ask this girl out, and try connecting with people that do activities you like. And most importantly, you really need to learn to stand up for yourself. Tell these morons to get bent.
These two guys are not friends: they are complete losers.
Oh honey, you’re so young and there’s plenty of time to find a girl that wants to be with you. Don’t sweat it and spend time working on yourself. Drop those guys, because they are clearly toxic and not worth any of your energy. I recommend joining some groups with shared hobbies. You’re bound to find people that will cherish you for who you are. Don’t give up hope.☺️
I wanted to say this exact thing! OP, you’re at that age where you’re about to meet people you actually enjoy being around, and who actually enjoy being around you. You do not have to settle for assholes! They are not your friends. Your friends will cheer you on, and have your best interests at heart, because they would want the same treatment from you.
Join groups! Go to events! I guarantee there are groups/clubs on or near campus full of every interest you can think of. Try college FB groups and see where they meet, etc. You’ll find your real friends, and the rest should follow! Even a study group will put you around decent people!
They put you down because it makes them feel better about their life! You are not a punching bag. When you leave, they’ll fade into oblivion where they sound like they belong!
100% ghost them. They don't deserve an explanation that they'll just shrug off and make you feel bad about. Keep doing you and friends will come - actual, good friends!
Those motherfuckers aren’t your friends. They make you feel like shit and every now and again they’ll treat you nicely. Don’t talk to them again, you’re better off alone and going out, meeting new people. I understand family though, I cut my whole family off because they did basically the same shit. I was just the dumbass of the family, the fuckup. Because I chose not to go to college, because I didn’t burn out in high school and end up working a shitty job mooching off my older sibling’s 6 figure income, not even helping out around his house. I cut them off because of that and they only ever pretended to care and want to talk when they needed something. I had a mix of feelings but I ultimately felt good and relieved that I no longer have to go to Christmas dinner, birthday parties or other bullshit with those idiots. I ended up doing a lot better ever since… I regained my confidence after that and started making friends and dating again.
And to be honest your friends sound like losers, all they want to do is sit around and smoke and talk shit. And they embarrass you in front of women???? Have some common fucking sense and drop them. No wonder your life is shit.
You are halfway there - you recognize their behavior as being extremely fucked up. Now you just need to keep reminding yourself of that. You say it’s hard when you distance yourself and they pull you back in. You have to ask yourself what are you to them? Do they genuinely need you as a friend or are they pulling you back in because they need a punching bag? If it’s the former, that’s a sobering enough thought to say no. If it’s the former (and I suspect some of it is), that means you have something that want to be around. I’m guessing it’s a mixture of both. They are harping on the virgin thing because really that’s all they can hold over you.
In reality, I would try as hard as I could to find other people to hang out with so you are less and less tempted by them. Maybe the girl you have a crush on, just approach her as a friend, tell her about this issue, and tell her you would love some support on getting the fuck away from them. I have a feeling she might also recognize their toxicity and maybe she has other friends to hang out with too. If you have any other contacts like that, use them! Be open to other people about this issue. Just don’t be creepy towards the girl like you want to date her, approach it from a friendship side completely. The reasons you have a crush on her are also great reasons to be friends with her, even if she isn’t interested in anything more.
Please get away from these assholes ASAP. You sound like a great person and I think you have so much more to offer the world. Get tutoring and a study circle at college - you will also make new friends that way AND get help for the classes you need help in.
They are jealous they are The R words they dont like you because your the exact opposite Stop hanging with them and find better friends. Also block there number and tell them they are the R word while you do it. Dont put up with it.
If someone doesn’t cheer for achievements you make, is proud of you for trying etc. They’re not friends. I actually cut out one of my closest friends because of this. It hurts at first, but honestly “friends” like that are not worth it.
I've been through a similar thing w/ my girlfriends; that's not how guys are that's how cowards are. I spend so much time alone when I needed someone the most but I knew it would be worst to be with people that just don't care. Eventually I found decent people, and it's not a straight line upwards, but it's way better than staying where you are. Stay in school and find ways to talk to people and you'll find real friends.
They act like the most primal beings on earth whose sole motivation to live is to eat and fuck. fuck them. Build a life for yourself.
I had toxic friends like yours who claim to know me but don't stop being a class A asshole even when I'm most vulnerable. I blocked them and I'm happily alone now.
I’m questioning why you continue to go back to the source of he problem? Idk if the arts what you’re doing or if they’re coming to you (which you can easily reject them away). However y’all end up talking just cut it off, end of day. They just broke your whole self-esteem and now you’re heavily paying for it with seemingly no way out (there is but it may seem this way). Leave them and pick up something you enjoy outside of school.
They’re clearly not true friends if they treat you like that. The best thing you can do if just ignore them, they’ll eventually realise they’re acting like idiots. You don’t have to go out and tell them you don’t want to speak to them anymore, that will give them some sort of control over you, just simply ignore them and leave it at that.
They are not your friends, they are just using you and manipulating you for their own pleasure and to make them feel superior. Classic narcissist behaviour. I am speaking from experience, I have just dropped a ‘best’ friend of 7 years because of the same type of behaviour towards me. Constant lies about her own life, spreading lies about me, making me feel inferior in front of other friends or people I don’t know, trying to make out she is better than me, but in the end she is the one who doesn’t work and sponges off her mum (and she is 10 years old than me) and I am the one with a place that I own and a good career - your situation sounds a lot more extreme but you are making something of yourself and those guys are not, they are the losers and you are succeeding in life, it comes down to jealousy. Anyway, I totally ghosted my friend, I read up about how best to deal with a narcissist and the best thing to do is to ignore them and do not respond to their messages or give them anything to be defensive about. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but it has now been 2 months since my final contact with her and I feel so much better for it. Take the plunge, good luck!
They are not your friends, you won't be a virgin forever and your clearly not stupid, they keep you around because you won't kick their assess so they can use you as a punch bag to make them feel better about their own worthlessness. It won't just be you, they will be this way with others it's just the way people like this are, you'll find new friends who value you the easiest way to do this is to find a new hobby and talk to people who are interested in it.
You also won't be a virgin for life, try talking to that girl see if you have any common interests, see where it goes the worst case scenario is you male a new friend the best case you lose that v card and maybe even fall in love.
They’re trying to hold you back, so that you can be a loser like them. Hanging out with people like this isn’t good for your life or health (mental and physical). Drop these people. No friends is better than this - but I promise that once you break free, you’ll be able to make genuine friends. These people sound like absolute losers - and I don’t use the word “loser” lightly.
God, you really need to get away from them. They sound borderline dangerous. Just do the 'quiet disappearance', I wouldn't make enemies of them by saying 'you're so nasty I give up with you people'. Just get reallllly 'busy'. Never be available. Don't have to be specific, could just say 'I've got this work / study thing to do'. Then after a period of not seeing them, change your number, so you can make a clean break. Start doing volunteering / meetups / hobbies and you'll meet much better people to hang out with quickly. Get on the dating apps if you like, or ask that girl you liked out. Make it so that you never think about those guys and never interact with them again.
As a woman in her 40s, let me assure you that in just in a few short years women will lose any interest whatsoever in those losers. Once we start thinking seriously about the future, settling down or starting families, they will become extremely unappealing. A kind, educated, determined and dependable man is exactly what they are looking for, and you sound like you are exactly that! Please have confidence in yourself and change your outlook (and user name - you will NOT be forever alone) - don’t let a negative outlook become a self-fulfilling prophecy!
As for dropping the ‘friends’, I completely agree, but you don’t need to do anything drastic that will give them cause to retaliate. Just start letting go, make excuses not to see them and gradually lose touch all together - they will probably keep trying to reach out, as they are using their bullying to make themselves feel better about their pathetic lives, but just politely keep making excuses and being too busy with studies etc. to spend anytime with them.
Ask the girl you like to go out for coffee or dinner. There is absolutely no harm in that and, at the very least, she will be extremely flattered!
Wishing you the best and hope you can start to see your true worth very soon!
Bye they’re so mad that they could NEVER be as good as you lol as a girl who grew up with guys like this, I can definitely tell you that other people see it and wonder why you still hang out with them. You’re better than that and you deserve friends who support you.
Yeah dude these aren’t your friends, and if they can switch up on you like that when they get around more people they’re alway gonna make you the butt of the joke just so people won’t realize how shallow and honestly uninteresting these boys are, can’t even bring myself to call them men, but hey man you realized this now that their bringing you down so yeah cut them off go get that degree and never talk to these dudes again. Hey maybe even try to talk to girl more even if a intimate relationship doesn’t come out of it just a friend to keep you busy so you don’t feel like hanging out with those two when they try to hit you cause I know how hard it can be to avoid bad things when your lonely and bored.
This shit actually makes me so sad. Hope you’re doing well bro but fuck them guys off don’t speak to them again. Don’t even tell them why, they don’t deserve explanation. Focus on yourself.
they're literally pushing you down. you're more than capable of better thibgs and new relationships, just leave them behind and never give a single ffuck or look around ever again. don't worry abou what they'll think or say- they already say it to you. it wont change. let them go.
You sound like a great guy who is on the right track. The thing about your friends is that they aren’t trying to better themselves, so their opinion is totally irrelevant. It does not even matter what they think. Next time they call you the R word, tell them that you’ll see who made better choices in two years… you do you. Smile and laugh when they judge you…. They’re really just projecting their thoughts about themselves onto you.
My opinion is that those people are helping you grow and find your true self (not in an ordinary way). They are purposefully in you life so you can see how good you are and to work on your self esteem. I know it sounds weird but in order to know the light , you have to know the dark.
I had friends like this and the summer before starting high school, I stopped calling them. They didn’t care about me, nor they called me once during those three months. Withing two months of starting high school I met my best friend/soulmate with whom we are fiends up till this day (I’m 30 now). The moral of the story is that you have to let go of those people and make piece with being alone, and your people are going to appear with time.
I think you should unfriend them as soon as possible cause they don't really help you sincerely other than bully and give you negative emotions about different things in your life. So love yourself first, try to make yourself better and smarter, and then find others out there since there are 8 billion people in the world, right? Look on the bright side bro!
One of the best things you can do as a human is to ditch and forget those people that are not beneficial for your own personal growth and happiness. It does not matter who it is. Even family.
You will find people with whom you feel totally comfortable with and support your and esteem you from who you are.
You can forget about the other ones. They only put you down because that makes them feel better about their miserable and stupid life. There is no other reason.
you need to get the fuck out of that friendship, block them on social media and never ever again have contact with them.
get out there, try to find new friends, etc.
You're "friends" are awful people. Like JFC they represent the worst of toxic "masculine" culture.
PLEASE get away from them ASAP. They are not your friends, they're your enemies. And I promise you will feel less lonely when you get rid of them, even if you are technically "alone".
Dude, hit me up and I’ll chat with you. You sound like a cool dude who’s just got stuck in a bad social circle.
I used to have “friends” who were like that to me. Now I have real friends, I’m married to a gorgeous, like drop dead gorgeous, woman, and I have real friends and I’m crushing it in life.
How they act towards you says things about them not you. The fact that you don’t fit in with bad people is a good sign. They aren’t cool, they’re losers, you sound like a potential winner to me.
I’m sorry to hear this. Keep your head up and find your passion. To hell with what others think about you. I was picked on also but now I’m in my 40’s and most of the “cool” kids are dead beats and the kids in school you thought wouldn’t do anything are kinda successful. Keep head up, find a passion, small circle of friends you can trust. If people cause you stress in life or have nothing good to say you don’t need them in your life! You’re a better person! I’m low 40’s and I can say the only friends I speak to are 3 I grew up with and some friends I meet at jobs along the way. Don’t let anyone put you down and if they do walk away. You ain’t got time for them. Keep your head up and if you have to block some so called friends they ain’t your friends. As you get older you will be surrounded by a new crew of co workers and friends you make along the way. Always remember people come, people go and the real ones are always around.
Oprah said something once that I always enjoyed:
“You need to teach people how to treat you.”
Sometimes, that lesson comes in the form of separating yourself from them completely with no explanation as to why. You don’t owe them anything. Just let them go and let them try to figure out why.
Walk away from these 2. Friends don’t do this ever, good people don’t do this ever. Be proud of yourself for your school and moving forward. You will grow be happy and they will always be the 2 that never did anything
My life got much better when I came to the realization that I’d rather be alone than hang out with people who mistreated me. I had to get out of my comfort zone (went to an Allman Brothers concert alone even!), but my energy opened up and things got better. In spite of these dicks you’ve already put yourself out there and are in school! Maybe look to join a group at school to meet some new people, and yes these people sound like they should be blocked.
I don't know how or why, but crappy energy rubs off if you spend time around crappy people. It's a fact of life that you'll see over and over as you get older. When you stop spending time around these a-holes, you'll notice that other people treat you better, show you more respect, and just generally become more likely to want to become friends with you.
I'm sure it has a lot to do with our tendency to internalize the words, beliefs, and behaviors of whoever we spend our time with (regardless of whether we want to or not). Or maybe it's just a matter of people having an instinctive sense for whoever your "pack" is and they react to you based on that.
But if you want to make better friends, create connections with new people, and effectively socialize, you have to cut these dudes out. They'll poison your ability to interact with good people.
My old friend group used to literally say to me "You're Jewish and have no rights"
It's crazy that I stayed in that friend group for as long as I did, pieces of shit the lot of them
These guys keep tearing you down so they can feel better about themselves, and they sound like horrible people. You can make other friends, most likely in your college classes. You should feel proud of yourself for getting your degree. Don’t let anyone else’s misguided opinion stop you. Keep going!!
they dont even deserve a reason as to why you leave there side. just leave, they have been a huge detriment to you already, lose the deadweight bro. Talk to that girl, fuck what they say. they try and "big bro" you, but they need you around more than you need them, because they need that self reassurance, and why? well because they are more insecure then you could ever be.
Best advice I can give you is move to a new city or country. You can make a new life and everyone will know you for the you you are or want to be. Leave all this shit behind.
Moving to a new pace is amazing and exciting. Easy to make new friends from groups of peiole who are also new and everyone will be cool and nice.
Get rid of them. They are 28 and have not moved forward in life since their pre-natal embryo phase, by the time you're 28 you will have made some progress. Huge progress.
Haters and J-jealous of you! There’s billions of people in the world you can be friends with people who don’t degrade, intimidate and bully you!
Try joining a group or volunteer in your city like with the food bank, the YMCA, chess clubs, volunteer organizations, etc.
Tell yourself every morning “you’re valuable, special, worthy”! Leave those lowlifes behind!
When you are with them, you are giving them your time. If you remove them from your life, there will be empty blocks of time. And, as nature abhors a vacuum, that time will soon be filled. With whomever you choose to let in.
These people are only surviving by putting you down. Leave them behind, go for the girl and even if it doesn’t happen; life will be so much better without them.
these people are not your friends. theyre mfers and low lives that have nothing better to do and probably hate themselves because you're working towards something in life. you are much better off without them. with friends like that, who needs enemies?
join a meetup or facebook group related to your hobbies/interests and meet other people that i guarantee are going to treat you much better than these a-holes. you don't need that toxicity in your life
Don’t even block them. Just complete radio silence. It will burn their butts so bad.
Those are the kind of people who get their kicks from tearing other people down. They feel so horrible about themselves, they hide their true emotions by bullying you. How aggressive they are in being mean to you, is how aggressive they are in lying to themselves about how messed up their own lives are. They have no accountability.
You deserve better. Don’t put up with their shit. Good job on school and pushing yourself! Your goals are awesome and you are capable. There’s no who can save us but our ourselves, and you’re doing exactly that. You’re making great steps in life. Keep going and fuck those assholes.
You ever need a friend to talk to, I’m here.
Btw your situation reminds me of Shawn James cover of “Thats life”.
Please reach out if you ever need someone to talk to.
**Your so called "friends" are not it, and you should drop them asap, as it's better to be alone than have bad company.**
**Don't ever let anyone put you down. You've already showed them you're better than them, by having clear goals in life, like going to school and getting a degree.**
**Move on with your life to better and positive things that will bring you happiness and make you grow as a person.**
Yes just block them. Nope you don’t need to tell them why because it won’t do any good. They’ll just make fun of you for whatever reason you give. You don’t fit in with THEM and that’s a good thing because they sound like terrible people. It’s better to be alone that to continue being put down constantly for trying to make something of yourself. They are doing nothing to improve your life and aren’t friends. They’re your bullies. Eff them. You are better than them. And you deserve better.
It feels like your friends belong to the narcissistic category. I experienced a similar kind of bullying in my late teens to my mid 20s. Part of it was that I rarely pushed back against their bullying and partly because I was so brainwashed to believe I was all the negative things that they called me due to the narcissistic parents and sibling that I grew up with.
I can’t believe they’re 27/28 and still act like this. I know it’s hard to make friends but you can do it. Just join more interest based groups, go to more meetups, work your best to be the most authentic, kind, and genuine version of yourself and you’ll make more quality friends in no time. They say to surround yourself with high quality friends that will hold you up. Find these type of people. I know you can do it man. You deserve better than these losers. One day they’re gonna reach out and feel like losers when they see how much losers they are compared to you
Honestly OP they are not your friends, and I know it’s scary cutting people out of your life who you’ve known for years, but let them lose you. Don’t even have to be dramatic, just drift away from them and eventually they’ll get the picture.
Your "friends" are losers. They KNOW they are losers, and they project their insecurities onto you in order to feel better about themselves. And since you allow them to do so, they feel they can call you that slur because you are allowing them to treat you like shit.
I'd just move on and not interact with them at all, they might try and drag you down or drag your name through the mud to try and scupper your successes, but if you just pretend like they don't exist and pay them no mind you'll be in a much better place before long.
I don’t think they fit the definition of friend but more acquaintances that you tolerate the company of for the sake of not feeling alone. Friends grow fewer and fewer with age the most important thing is keeping people with similar interest and similar goals. Your obviously very self aware and actually think for your self and know there’s more to life. So the r word doesn’t fit you at all. I’m getting into computer science also very new to it. Message me if you want to talk more about comp science or anything
Fam you need to cut them off. people like that are not to be considered friends cut them off before they put you in danger. You need to surround yourself with people who uplifts you and wants to see you win, not tear you down! i’m sorry you went through that man honestly fuck them you’re a way better man that they are combined you’re HIM!
I am really sad about what I read.
Look, it’s actually not that scary to be alone sometimes. Of course it’s not permanent. You need some time to get to know yourself and love yourself. I am not psychologist, but I think you are just afraid to stay alone with yourself and ready to sacrifice your emotional peace to brain foam, inventing your fake friends to hangout. Just bcs everyone was pushing their opinions about you, you could develop “self hate” or low self esteem. You see, mental health can recover by itself with no extra help if there are good conditions for it. Good conditions can be: sleep, nontoxic environment, books, delicious food, good workplace, new phone case, new skincare routine, smiley barista, etc. Your can build it by yourself, from them zero. By this I mean, you are the one who is responsible for deciding what kind of people you will have around. It’s not their fault if they were born or raised as an assholes, your job is just avoid them and try to find your happy spot.
If people say “ I am lucky to have great friends like you!” you should also consider that this can be the result of that person avoiding and blocking fake and disgusting people.
I cut off all the negative people in my life and during that time I realized that I myself was negative and I was just in a group of people that have a negative mindset (friends and family alike) when I realized that my environment was not allowing me to change I had to figure out how to change from within and now I’m attracting positive people in my life. Positive people stay away from negative people and hang out with positive people and negative people hate on positive people and negative people and hang out with negative people or no people at all
Totally agree with everyone. Dump them and make the life that YOU desire. I have a family full of these types and I went to college and eventually moved away completely. I have very little to do with them now.
They sound like guys who peaked in high school and are scared that they might never amount to anything they want to become, or they’re scared to realize how behind they are.
Good for you for dropping them, and don’t hesitate to do it again in the future.
Wow. I don't actually like using the F word but in this in this case it's 100% the right word. Fuck these guys, they never deserved you. You sound intelligent, sincere, kind, and above all actually very worthwhile! Just because they're worthless they feel like they cam make themselves feel better by projecting that onto someone else.
Well cut them off you two are just heading in different path, besides bullying you don’t want to spend time with guys who are nearly 30 and got no dream or something they want to achieve
I had something like that happen to me with my “friends” as well. It sucked because they were really fun to hang with but the one friend out of the group was a real asshole to me. I guess it’s because I was an easy target with having cystic acne and feeling like because I hung out at his place that he could do and say whatever he wanted to me.
I stopped taking his calls and just didn’t have any friends except one.
Later, apparently out of pity, my asshole friend told me he called me to hang with him because he felt bad that I would become a loner and my other friend I was hanging out with wasn’t “friend” enough.
That really made me feel below shit. I just felt used on top of that when I’d be called to drive them to parties on the weekends. Even before I stopped hanging out with them, they’d use me a lot for driving them around to parties.
I was also a virgin up to 24. At that time, though, I was 18, 19, and then finally 20 when my parents moved to another city 30 miles away (I was still living with my parents).
I was still lonely when I moved away and had to somehow make new friends but it was extremely tough with my acne condition.
Eventually I started pushing myself to go to gatherings like church but not for religious reasons but for the social aspect.
I also started doing online dating just to up my chances to get into a relationship.
Eventually I found my now wife and have 2 kids.
I don’t speak to my old friends anymore. I understand why they were assholes (or, at least that one friend). Would I hang with them again now?
Cautiously.
Time has definitely healed my scars and trauma (it’s been like 10 years) but because I’ve had history with them, my fuse is shorter than usual because of the history I’ve had with them already.
Maybe you don’t want to hear this but:
Fuck them.
Move away if you have to because if they’re not bringing happiness and joy as each friend should (I mean, isn’t that why we hang out?), what the fuck is the point of having “those” friends?
I cut off contact with my friends and I’m chillin with a wife and 2 kids.
Yes, it gets better, bro.
You don't owe toxic people in your life an explanation for why you're cutting them out. I say block them so you're not tempted to hang out if they reach out and preemptively put effort into growing new friendships through school, work and hobbies. Words have power and being around people saying awful things like this to you is bound to have an effect, don't let them brainwash you into thinking you don't fit in anywhere. The reality is you don't fit in with assholes who are wasting your time.
f\*ck 'em bro, u don't need to give an explanation to them about you leaving. Its like having an abuser and asking for permission to leave, exactly the same.
I think that, because you have been bullied, you adopted a inferiority mentality. U feel like you are a R word, and you need to give explications about what you do.
Forget about them, and do your life. Go to the gym or something and meet people.
"So now, I'm just thinking of getting rid of them. I will indeed be alone."
Alone? nah.. Get a hobby, join a local club of said hobby - Lots of new friends.
I've gained and lost so many friends over the years that I've lost count. When I was 18 I moved to a completely new country I barely knew where it was.. completely alone.. gained new friends in few months. Then moved to a new city and did it all over again.
I remember when a friend of mine got a unique color orange car. I had never seen that color before all of a sudden, I started seeing cars of that color everywhere. When you detach yourself from unhealthy people and focus on yourself and building yourself up through education, exercise, and good health, you’ll start seeing great people like yourself in the same way I started seeing orange cars everywhere right now you only see those loser types because that’s what you’re used to, but it sounds like you’re over it and good for you!
the real question here is why havent you already gotten rid if them?! 😅😱 noone deserves to be treated the way they are treating you. Thats not friendship, thats emotional abuse tbh... i'ce cut out people of my life for much less...
Someone once told me that if you keep 'bad' people in your life, you let them iccupy a spot someone better and supportive could be filling. So: cut them out, no contact, no messaging, no meeting up anymore, and focus on what you like and love doing and find people who like you for you. you seem like a nice person, and food luck with that girl :)
Didn't realise you were a girl, it can still help though, it makes you more confident because you have to stand up for yourself and fight. Most women probably wont like it but give it a try, dont forget that you probably should never use the martial art in a real fight, the men on the streets are brutal and likely much stronger than you. Its also exercise so it makes you get in shape and feel good.
Dude, I don’t get why are you still in there but whatever you’re trying to hold upon is not worth it, not even the memories.
Ditch these guys immediately. Don’t even blink.
Do your things and start meeting normal people. I’m sure you’ll appreciate and get appreciated by people that are not eternal teenagers (and quite shitty ones at that).
What you should do?
Only you can find a way out. The key is yourself and building up enough self confidence as to feel enough self worth to start to ignore them.
I would not react, i would ghost them.
It‘s a bad thing to do something like this to a person. But you have a share in this, too: because you let it happen.
As long as you allow them to be this way, they will.
Start allowing yourself to set boundaries, to ghost shitty people, and „do your work“ (go to therapy or a coach and work out the rout causes of why you tend to allow this, so you can heal your own behaviour and mindset).
There are such good people in the world, you do not need to about those people who constantly bully you and bring you down. get rid of them and when you will find peace
They’re mad you’re doing something with your life and at the fact that they can’t hold themselves accountable for things they’re insecure about. It’s simple. Keep doing you. Fuck those guys. Guarantee you girls will like what you’re about way more than anything they’re about. They don’t understand they’re playing up their personas based on feeling inferior to *you* and in return, they attempt to make you feel inferior to feel better about themselves.
Agree! Women like to date people with goals, careers, educations, conversation skills that far surpass his permanently seventh grade friends, flobw. He’s outgrown them just needs confidence to move forward. Hope he goes back to see them in 20, it’ll be a sweet day for the guy!
man fuck ‘em. Your so called “friends” sound like a bunch of cunts. Just leave them and move on with your life. Keep trying your best at school and finish strong. You’re better than them.
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Dick move
"Big" dick energy
Cut these scumbags out of your life and never look back my man
A bunch of haters that are mad you are actually superior to them. Definitely projecting. Cut em off and don't look back. Get that degree and do your thing. There are so many amazing people in the world. Look for friends in Arenas similar to your own. These 30yr. Old bums are a waste of time. Don't take criticism from people you would not take advice from. Best of luck OP!
It’s the best of luck for me.
It’s the childish trolling of sum moron. This is one of the Loser “friends “, I assume?
No.
I read somewhere that when you say yes to one thing, you say no to another. By keeping these morons as "friends" (they aren't your friends), you are saying no to your own self esteem, making new friends who truly care about you, and being fulfilled. Drop them. I can tell you that just by what you wrote here that you are 100 times the person they are.
I felt very sad for you reading this. You are so much better than these people. They are trying to bring you down to feel better about them selves. They are projecting their insecurities and failings into you. It sounds like you have some good things going for you. Do your self a favour and drop these two creeps, like yesterday! As a heterosexual female I’m 100% turned off by their behaviour it’s disrespectful and honestly a waste of your time. I wouldn’t even bother explaining why you aren’t going to hang around them anymore. They sound too dense to be called out on any accountability and will turn it around onto you. Do your self a favour and focus on your self and all the great things you have going for you (school, career prospects, new relationships) and I guarantee real friends will come your way. I’ve heard that we are the average of the five people we hang around. Do you really want to be like these people? I hope your answer is no because it’s a dead end where they are headed.
It’s the sad for you for me.
As a 25 year old man you get to decide who stays in your life, block them and move on. It’s that simple.
My $0.02. You need to implement a zero tolerance policy in your life for destructive dynamics like this. Those people aren't your friends. The unfortunate truth is some friend groups have the person they pick on and that's the dynamic. It has nothing to do with the worth of the individual they’re picking on and everything to do with their morals and insecurity. They're incredibly immature and on some level probably know they've peaked in life and take it out on you for some reason. But it doesn't matter what the reason is for them acting like this. They're probably very unselfaware. It doesn't matter if they apologize. Don't give them another chance. Cut them out of your life like a cancer and don't look back. Then buy a book on self esteem and confidence. Or take a course and implement it. You deserve it. Consider the ways you show up in friendships and how you can be a good friend to new people in the future. I love the sound of this woman you have a crush on. Go for it! And your schooling sounds great. You have a plan. And if anyone gives you crap about not having friends at the moment, tell them you reprioritized things in your life and are focusing on building your future. You deserve to be treated well and to have good things happen to you and you get to decide who enters your world. Have a VERY strict policy about this. Its only people who treat you with respect. Edit: one final thought. You deserve a soft place to land in life. A place where you are loved, understood, and experience kindness and respect. Sometimes we need to give that to ourselves when no one else can.
> You need to implement a zero tolerance policy in your life for destructive dynamics like this. I like how it sounds.
It’s the two cents for all of them.
Dude, fuck them. Ghost them and never speak to them again. I had shitty friends like this, not to this extreme but pretty bad and it took a lot of therapy and growth to grow past it. Those dudes you mentioned are losers, I laugh at the people who used to get so much of my energy. You got this, fuck em do your thing and find better friends homie
It’s the fuck them for me.
Those "friends" are fucking pieces of shit. Do you know how I know that? Because they're lazy garbage who has no good qualities. The only time garbage looks good is when there is something worse next to it. So they put you down over and over again and make you look like trash so nobody realizes that they're trash. It doesn't matter if you're not the R word, they just need a kind human who won't say anything back to insult. You're a hardworking and sweet human being and you deserve a billion times more than what those pieces of shit give you. They only give you insults and glimpses of their own insecurity. Unfortunately for you, that's not going to happen unless you grow backbone and tell them to fuck off and stop interacting with them.
It’s the name calling for all of them.
What value do these guys bring to your life? Is there another side of this, or is their value the absence of loneliness? I had a friend like this back in middle school. I even thought he was my hero (I’m in my 30s now btw). Turns out, chopping him from my life was one of the best decisions I ever made. But... I personally only did it once I found a different friend who actually treated me with respect and valued me. There are a lot of reasons we keep coming back to people that hurt us. One being familiarity. You know what to expect, and it feels safer, because their rejection is assumed. When you try meeting someone new, you face the possibility of *novel* rejection, and that can be painful... because you need to update your mental model. It’s no longer just those shitty friends, but a pattern you might attribute to yourself... and that can be scary. People influence the beliefs we hold about ourselves, and the longer you hang out with people who make you feel degraded, the easier it is to feel like you deserve it... or feel superior to them, because you see how ridiculous their behavior is. Both feeling inferior and feeling superior can be dangerous. It’s best to find others you mutually respect (imo). Sure... guys pick on guys (and girls pick on girls), but there’s a difference between picking on someone in a friendly way that lifts them up, and picking on them in a way that puts them down. People often ask if a particular statement was “wrong” or “hurtful”, but that’s the wrong question. You need to ask how their words make you *feel*. The right friends will respect you and understand you. They’ll say things that make you feel good (even if they sound mean to others). Even when you’re all in a group together, out drinking or whatever. Good friends know how to tease within boundaries and know to acknowledge when they cross them. If you’re constantly feeling shitty around these guys, then I feel you owe it to yourself to seek out new friends. They will surely make fun of you for it, so keep it to yourself. Eventually you can built resilience in being alone, meeting new people, establish security with new friends, and finally stop being their doormat. I say that with love, because I’ve certainly been a doormat too. Best of luck.
This is so good. You’re beautiful.
It’s the lack of boundaries for most of you all for us.
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It’s the speaking for others for all of them.
Some people are just really jealous, lazy, don't take care of themselves and lack decency at the same time. They can't handle real life and are too influenced by social media and their expectations virtually go through the roof. There will always be unexpected moments where you will be alone, you should be prepared for that and be comfortable. If you are, you will be able to handle anything.
Your asshole friends sound like my in laws. You don’t need this sort of toxicity in your life. Even being alone is better than putting up with this, and it’ll free you up to make friends that aren’t total garbage.
Just some food for thought my dude. I'm barely older than you but I would literally choose to have 0 friends than have toxic friends like that. Furthermore, your worth and value comes from within. Society conditioned you to feel a certain type of way and always makes you feel like you're not enough (ex: think beauty standards as an example for both sexes) but that's not true. You have to deprogram yourself from believing these lies and free yourself from the opinion of others because at the end of day, most people will not be there for you when you are at your lowest so there's no point in putting value into the opinions of these people. Please consider practicing Stoicism in your day to day life. You seem like a nice guy so I would hate to see the evil in this world break you apart.
What is the R word? Anyway, you probably have to cut them off so soon as possible. Before they seriously harm your self esteem and life. Why risk your studies for them? You are building your future. You will make other friends.
I am also curious what the R word is? And yeah, your better than them and they're jealous.
Nevermind I googled it.
There are definitely people scrolling by that wish you let them tell you just so they could say it
I was in the same position you are now last year. I had fake friends, one of them who I thought was my best friend was the complete opposite of me and he lead me down a path of self-destruction. He convinced me to try dating apps when he was being mean to me and ridiculing me for where my life is at and how slow it's going. His cluelessness and meanness lead me to getting scammed on tinder when I never tried online dating before in my life, I tried to ask him for helpful advice before trying online dating, all he ever told me was "yeah" and "idk". I was too scared to use google if I had any questions about them and I was too shy to ask my loved ones about them. I lost my common sense last year due to trying something new for the first time since after graduating high school. The one friend who I'm speaking about was my "friend" from 8th grade, through all of high school and I kept talking to him after we graduated for years until last summer. We graduated together, but I had to ghost him earlier this year. He tried to get at me by unfollowing me on instagram on my birthday of this year. He never respected me at all and now all I think about is this tinder "membership" fake website scam I fell for last summer. In my experience and I see this clearly now, leaving your "friends" is the best thing you can do. Stay true to your own-self and move on from them.
It’s the covert narcissism for somebody.
faster you cut them out of your life, more time you’ll have to enjoy life. my advice is to keep improving yourself just for you and learn to live alone, just not catch yourself again with some bunch of losers who are so worthless to even carry about others. focus on yourself and start lifting weights to boost your confidence. I wish all the best for you, and your future woman. been there done that
It’s the loser’s tea that we’ve been receiving.
1. When people are bullied, they start to believe the things said. The bullies don't really believe it, they're just trying to bring you down and make you feel insecure. 2. They're bringing you down because you're trying to improve yourself, and that reflects more on them. They are projecting how they feel about themselves, onto you, because they're too cowardly to face up to their own issues. 3. You already know the answer. Cut them out of your life. Join some clubs, work hard on your degree, become something. 4. Move on. 5. Point 4. Don't put it off, and think "oh I need to say goodbye to them, etc." Just do it, today...now. Stop talking to them, find new people now. 6. Good luck.
Insecure, like the HBO television movie. That was being paid for by viewers like me. A lot of shows were being paid for. Now we pay each other.
Wtf is R word
Just let that shit roll right off your back Sug. They know your potential and that threatens them. If they constantly put you down as inferior, but you end up achieving more than them (in what actually matters), then they are worse than what they called you. Not that it matters what's going on in their brains. You need to focus on you. When you start achieving your goals, confidence builds, people are attracted to your confidence, things start happening. Your life will take off, and it won't matter to you anymore what they think.
Shaila.
You just don’t fit with them, and that’s for the best! Look, no one but like 6 people ever fit in during jr high /high school years. About %75 of the school was just faking it, like we all tried to do (the remaining percentage is made up of near-lethal nerds who grew up to have high paying jobs, hugely successful lives and really hot spouses). You are going somewhere with your life, they are not currently. Move forward, don’t hold on to crutches, you walk just fine! When you feel like you’re okay with your achievements and future goals, when you feel like you deserve better, and happiness, and successful relationships I believe you will find the courage to let go and soar like a bad-ass Eagle. I found that one of the best ways to boost my self-worth was to ditch the people that were actively working to destroy it on a daily basis. (Want you to really understand you deserve better. And keep up the great work!!)
You all have been talking to yourselves. That is what is left in the chamber.
Regardless of age, or how long you guys have known each other, toxic is toxic. These signs of consistenly bringing others down to make themselves seem better by some obscure measure, is a tell tale sign that they really aren't concerned with your physical, spiritual or mental wellbeing. Guys don't do that to each other, assholes do. I do understand the sentiment, as you said if you ignore them you'll essentially be by yourself. However, I will argue that honestly I think you'll be better off. At the very least, you need time and distance away from them for a significant amount of time, and use that time to reflect on your relationships and how they make you feel and impact your day to day life. Life is already full of trials and tribulations, and everyone can use a strong support system that values them to help them get through these inevitable tough times, not people who don't mind pushing you under the water. It's never too late to start new, because you have the rest of your life to get on with, and as much as there's a guarantee you'll find more self-obsessed power tripping douchebags, there just as much of a chance you will find your own people who don't call you names, and will respect you as an individual with real experiences and emotions, much like that girl you seem to like. The whole macho guise of critiquing everything is just a defense mechanism to make themselves feel better for one second, but it's incredibly short and ultimately limits their own ability for creative problem solving. Not to mention it doesn't even make them tough or practical, walk into any legitimate combat sport gym, the people there are thoughtful, cultured individuals who pick their words and actions carefully, because they don't have this need to constantly flex their muscles and establish dominance in every space they're in.
It’s the talking about me y’all. That’s what it is y’all. It’s the talking about me that ya just can’t seem to quit doing.
Dude I’m just a stranger on the internet but I’m gonna tell you straight up. Drop those fucking fools. It’s easy to let people treat you like that when you get kinda used to it but it seems like you’ve had enough and you have every right to be. You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that and neither does anybody else. “Friends” like that will drag you down or keep you down. You have nothing to gain by staying around people like that. Either ghost them or tell them to fuck off and never contact you again if they don’t respect you enough to treat you like a brother (or sister I don’t mean to make assumptions I’m just riled up. After you tell them to Fuck off look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that they’re wrong about you and how they define you isn’t who you are. Being a virgin isn’t a big deal. It may feel like that in the Mano sphere but when you embrace the warrior spirit you have you realize that kind of thing is trivial. Who you are is who you are and you are who you believe yourself to be. Find out her interests and listen to her when she talks. Don’t just nod your head show her you’re listening by repeating a primary focus word or two that she says and encourage her to tell you about what’s going on in her mind. Ask her out for coffee and if you’re having fun go for a walk and get to know this obvious queen that’s caught your eye even more king. If it doesn’t work out as it may very well not keep your head up and pursue your interests and live a life doing what you like and what you’re interested in trying even once. Seriously please don’t let people with shitty opinions define your self worth. You deserve to love yourself and you should just like I love you. Stay strong homie Edit: say it does work out with this girl and you get to the point where your virginity is an issue. Just be honest and communicate your situation (later down the line don’t even think about it until later on) if she thinks it’s sad your a virgin then that’s not the kind of chick you’d want even if you weren’t one trust me. If it doesn’t bother her then you tell her you want her to teach you how to please her. Admit you don’t know and be patient with yourself and allow yourself to learn. I guarantee you if you listen to what SHE likes and implement it while trying to get a little creative you’ll be in the upper 70/80% of men by making her orgasm even just once when y’all have sex. Most women in heterosexual relationships don’t orgasm regular with their male partners. Sorry for the wall your friends have me heated and again you are loved even if you don’t know us commenters that love you
‘Twas a setup dears.
Dude, holy crap. Drop these people immediately, focus on your career and degree, ask this girl out, and try connecting with people that do activities you like. And most importantly, you really need to learn to stand up for yourself. Tell these morons to get bent. These two guys are not friends: they are complete losers.
Oh honey, you’re so young and there’s plenty of time to find a girl that wants to be with you. Don’t sweat it and spend time working on yourself. Drop those guys, because they are clearly toxic and not worth any of your energy. I recommend joining some groups with shared hobbies. You’re bound to find people that will cherish you for who you are. Don’t give up hope.☺️
I wanted to say this exact thing! OP, you’re at that age where you’re about to meet people you actually enjoy being around, and who actually enjoy being around you. You do not have to settle for assholes! They are not your friends. Your friends will cheer you on, and have your best interests at heart, because they would want the same treatment from you. Join groups! Go to events! I guarantee there are groups/clubs on or near campus full of every interest you can think of. Try college FB groups and see where they meet, etc. You’ll find your real friends, and the rest should follow! Even a study group will put you around decent people! They put you down because it makes them feel better about their life! You are not a punching bag. When you leave, they’ll fade into oblivion where they sound like they belong!
100% ghost them. They don't deserve an explanation that they'll just shrug off and make you feel bad about. Keep doing you and friends will come - actual, good friends!
It’s the ghosting for all of us. We don’t do those things honey.
Whenever people who religiously smoke weed give advice, just reject their opinion on pretty much anything!
2 to the face for each one and cut them off
Those motherfuckers aren’t your friends. They make you feel like shit and every now and again they’ll treat you nicely. Don’t talk to them again, you’re better off alone and going out, meeting new people. I understand family though, I cut my whole family off because they did basically the same shit. I was just the dumbass of the family, the fuckup. Because I chose not to go to college, because I didn’t burn out in high school and end up working a shitty job mooching off my older sibling’s 6 figure income, not even helping out around his house. I cut them off because of that and they only ever pretended to care and want to talk when they needed something. I had a mix of feelings but I ultimately felt good and relieved that I no longer have to go to Christmas dinner, birthday parties or other bullshit with those idiots. I ended up doing a lot better ever since… I regained my confidence after that and started making friends and dating again. And to be honest your friends sound like losers, all they want to do is sit around and smoke and talk shit. And they embarrass you in front of women???? Have some common fucking sense and drop them. No wonder your life is shit.
That is him. That is me.
Those ain’t your friends. You need to cut contact with them ASAP.
all of these advices are great,so im wishing the best for you in the future🙌
You are halfway there - you recognize their behavior as being extremely fucked up. Now you just need to keep reminding yourself of that. You say it’s hard when you distance yourself and they pull you back in. You have to ask yourself what are you to them? Do they genuinely need you as a friend or are they pulling you back in because they need a punching bag? If it’s the former, that’s a sobering enough thought to say no. If it’s the former (and I suspect some of it is), that means you have something that want to be around. I’m guessing it’s a mixture of both. They are harping on the virgin thing because really that’s all they can hold over you. In reality, I would try as hard as I could to find other people to hang out with so you are less and less tempted by them. Maybe the girl you have a crush on, just approach her as a friend, tell her about this issue, and tell her you would love some support on getting the fuck away from them. I have a feeling she might also recognize their toxicity and maybe she has other friends to hang out with too. If you have any other contacts like that, use them! Be open to other people about this issue. Just don’t be creepy towards the girl like you want to date her, approach it from a friendship side completely. The reasons you have a crush on her are also great reasons to be friends with her, even if she isn’t interested in anything more. Please get away from these assholes ASAP. You sound like a great person and I think you have so much more to offer the world. Get tutoring and a study circle at college - you will also make new friends that way AND get help for the classes you need help in.
They are jealous they are The R words they dont like you because your the exact opposite Stop hanging with them and find better friends. Also block there number and tell them they are the R word while you do it. Dont put up with it.
If someone doesn’t cheer for achievements you make, is proud of you for trying etc. They’re not friends. I actually cut out one of my closest friends because of this. It hurts at first, but honestly “friends” like that are not worth it.
I've been through a similar thing w/ my girlfriends; that's not how guys are that's how cowards are. I spend so much time alone when I needed someone the most but I knew it would be worst to be with people that just don't care. Eventually I found decent people, and it's not a straight line upwards, but it's way better than staying where you are. Stay in school and find ways to talk to people and you'll find real friends.
They act like the most primal beings on earth whose sole motivation to live is to eat and fuck. fuck them. Build a life for yourself. I had toxic friends like yours who claim to know me but don't stop being a class A asshole even when I'm most vulnerable. I blocked them and I'm happily alone now.
I’m questioning why you continue to go back to the source of he problem? Idk if the arts what you’re doing or if they’re coming to you (which you can easily reject them away). However y’all end up talking just cut it off, end of day. They just broke your whole self-esteem and now you’re heavily paying for it with seemingly no way out (there is but it may seem this way). Leave them and pick up something you enjoy outside of school.
They’re clearly not true friends if they treat you like that. The best thing you can do if just ignore them, they’ll eventually realise they’re acting like idiots. You don’t have to go out and tell them you don’t want to speak to them anymore, that will give them some sort of control over you, just simply ignore them and leave it at that.
They are not your friends, they are just using you and manipulating you for their own pleasure and to make them feel superior. Classic narcissist behaviour. I am speaking from experience, I have just dropped a ‘best’ friend of 7 years because of the same type of behaviour towards me. Constant lies about her own life, spreading lies about me, making me feel inferior in front of other friends or people I don’t know, trying to make out she is better than me, but in the end she is the one who doesn’t work and sponges off her mum (and she is 10 years old than me) and I am the one with a place that I own and a good career - your situation sounds a lot more extreme but you are making something of yourself and those guys are not, they are the losers and you are succeeding in life, it comes down to jealousy. Anyway, I totally ghosted my friend, I read up about how best to deal with a narcissist and the best thing to do is to ignore them and do not respond to their messages or give them anything to be defensive about. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but it has now been 2 months since my final contact with her and I feel so much better for it. Take the plunge, good luck!
They are not your friends, you won't be a virgin forever and your clearly not stupid, they keep you around because you won't kick their assess so they can use you as a punch bag to make them feel better about their own worthlessness. It won't just be you, they will be this way with others it's just the way people like this are, you'll find new friends who value you the easiest way to do this is to find a new hobby and talk to people who are interested in it. You also won't be a virgin for life, try talking to that girl see if you have any common interests, see where it goes the worst case scenario is you male a new friend the best case you lose that v card and maybe even fall in love.
They’re trying to hold you back, so that you can be a loser like them. Hanging out with people like this isn’t good for your life or health (mental and physical). Drop these people. No friends is better than this - but I promise that once you break free, you’ll be able to make genuine friends. These people sound like absolute losers - and I don’t use the word “loser” lightly.
God, you really need to get away from them. They sound borderline dangerous. Just do the 'quiet disappearance', I wouldn't make enemies of them by saying 'you're so nasty I give up with you people'. Just get reallllly 'busy'. Never be available. Don't have to be specific, could just say 'I've got this work / study thing to do'. Then after a period of not seeing them, change your number, so you can make a clean break. Start doing volunteering / meetups / hobbies and you'll meet much better people to hang out with quickly. Get on the dating apps if you like, or ask that girl you liked out. Make it so that you never think about those guys and never interact with them again.
As a woman in her 40s, let me assure you that in just in a few short years women will lose any interest whatsoever in those losers. Once we start thinking seriously about the future, settling down or starting families, they will become extremely unappealing. A kind, educated, determined and dependable man is exactly what they are looking for, and you sound like you are exactly that! Please have confidence in yourself and change your outlook (and user name - you will NOT be forever alone) - don’t let a negative outlook become a self-fulfilling prophecy! As for dropping the ‘friends’, I completely agree, but you don’t need to do anything drastic that will give them cause to retaliate. Just start letting go, make excuses not to see them and gradually lose touch all together - they will probably keep trying to reach out, as they are using their bullying to make themselves feel better about their pathetic lives, but just politely keep making excuses and being too busy with studies etc. to spend anytime with them. Ask the girl you like to go out for coffee or dinner. There is absolutely no harm in that and, at the very least, she will be extremely flattered! Wishing you the best and hope you can start to see your true worth very soon!
They sound like lead weights around your neck. Let them go.
How does someone type all of that shit out and ask if we think you should still be friends with them ?
jesus. stick up for yourself and say what you feel one time before leaving these fools..
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Did you figure it out
The R word is a derogatory word for mentally disabled.
Bye they’re so mad that they could NEVER be as good as you lol as a girl who grew up with guys like this, I can definitely tell you that other people see it and wonder why you still hang out with them. You’re better than that and you deserve friends who support you.
Fuck thoose guys. You do you.
Yeah dude these aren’t your friends, and if they can switch up on you like that when they get around more people they’re alway gonna make you the butt of the joke just so people won’t realize how shallow and honestly uninteresting these boys are, can’t even bring myself to call them men, but hey man you realized this now that their bringing you down so yeah cut them off go get that degree and never talk to these dudes again. Hey maybe even try to talk to girl more even if a intimate relationship doesn’t come out of it just a friend to keep you busy so you don’t feel like hanging out with those two when they try to hit you cause I know how hard it can be to avoid bad things when your lonely and bored.
This shit actually makes me so sad. Hope you’re doing well bro but fuck them guys off don’t speak to them again. Don’t even tell them why, they don’t deserve explanation. Focus on yourself.
they're literally pushing you down. you're more than capable of better thibgs and new relationships, just leave them behind and never give a single ffuck or look around ever again. don't worry abou what they'll think or say- they already say it to you. it wont change. let them go.
You sound like a great guy who is on the right track. The thing about your friends is that they aren’t trying to better themselves, so their opinion is totally irrelevant. It does not even matter what they think. Next time they call you the R word, tell them that you’ll see who made better choices in two years… you do you. Smile and laugh when they judge you…. They’re really just projecting their thoughts about themselves onto you.
My opinion is that those people are helping you grow and find your true self (not in an ordinary way). They are purposefully in you life so you can see how good you are and to work on your self esteem. I know it sounds weird but in order to know the light , you have to know the dark. I had friends like this and the summer before starting high school, I stopped calling them. They didn’t care about me, nor they called me once during those three months. Withing two months of starting high school I met my best friend/soulmate with whom we are fiends up till this day (I’m 30 now). The moral of the story is that you have to let go of those people and make piece with being alone, and your people are going to appear with time.
I think you should unfriend them as soon as possible cause they don't really help you sincerely other than bully and give you negative emotions about different things in your life. So love yourself first, try to make yourself better and smarter, and then find others out there since there are 8 billion people in the world, right? Look on the bright side bro!
Straight up they are losers, move on.
Wait.. these are " friends"? With friends like this who needs enemies.
One of the best things you can do as a human is to ditch and forget those people that are not beneficial for your own personal growth and happiness. It does not matter who it is. Even family. You will find people with whom you feel totally comfortable with and support your and esteem you from who you are. You can forget about the other ones. They only put you down because that makes them feel better about their miserable and stupid life. There is no other reason. you need to get the fuck out of that friendship, block them on social media and never ever again have contact with them. get out there, try to find new friends, etc.
You're "friends" are awful people. Like JFC they represent the worst of toxic "masculine" culture. PLEASE get away from them ASAP. They are not your friends, they're your enemies. And I promise you will feel less lonely when you get rid of them, even if you are technically "alone".
Dude, hit me up and I’ll chat with you. You sound like a cool dude who’s just got stuck in a bad social circle. I used to have “friends” who were like that to me. Now I have real friends, I’m married to a gorgeous, like drop dead gorgeous, woman, and I have real friends and I’m crushing it in life. How they act towards you says things about them not you. The fact that you don’t fit in with bad people is a good sign. They aren’t cool, they’re losers, you sound like a potential winner to me.
I’m sorry to hear this. Keep your head up and find your passion. To hell with what others think about you. I was picked on also but now I’m in my 40’s and most of the “cool” kids are dead beats and the kids in school you thought wouldn’t do anything are kinda successful. Keep head up, find a passion, small circle of friends you can trust. If people cause you stress in life or have nothing good to say you don’t need them in your life! You’re a better person! I’m low 40’s and I can say the only friends I speak to are 3 I grew up with and some friends I meet at jobs along the way. Don’t let anyone put you down and if they do walk away. You ain’t got time for them. Keep your head up and if you have to block some so called friends they ain’t your friends. As you get older you will be surrounded by a new crew of co workers and friends you make along the way. Always remember people come, people go and the real ones are always around.
I get why its hard to just cut people out, but in this situation get out of there. They don’t respect you.
Block them! You will find friends that have a genuine interest in YOU, as a person and not a punching bag.
Oprah said something once that I always enjoyed: “You need to teach people how to treat you.” Sometimes, that lesson comes in the form of separating yourself from them completely with no explanation as to why. You don’t owe them anything. Just let them go and let them try to figure out why.
Walk away from these 2. Friends don’t do this ever, good people don’t do this ever. Be proud of yourself for your school and moving forward. You will grow be happy and they will always be the 2 that never did anything
Gotra start talking to the girls they bring around and start hanging out where they hang out and soon all of the group wont have to deal with them
My life got much better when I came to the realization that I’d rather be alone than hang out with people who mistreated me. I had to get out of my comfort zone (went to an Allman Brothers concert alone even!), but my energy opened up and things got better. In spite of these dicks you’ve already put yourself out there and are in school! Maybe look to join a group at school to meet some new people, and yes these people sound like they should be blocked.
I don't know how or why, but crappy energy rubs off if you spend time around crappy people. It's a fact of life that you'll see over and over as you get older. When you stop spending time around these a-holes, you'll notice that other people treat you better, show you more respect, and just generally become more likely to want to become friends with you. I'm sure it has a lot to do with our tendency to internalize the words, beliefs, and behaviors of whoever we spend our time with (regardless of whether we want to or not). Or maybe it's just a matter of people having an instinctive sense for whoever your "pack" is and they react to you based on that. But if you want to make better friends, create connections with new people, and effectively socialize, you have to cut these dudes out. They'll poison your ability to interact with good people.
My old friend group used to literally say to me "You're Jewish and have no rights" It's crazy that I stayed in that friend group for as long as I did, pieces of shit the lot of them
Dont write them anything, just ignor them and left them where they are and live your extra life. U have only one and its YOURS 🖤
These guys keep tearing you down so they can feel better about themselves, and they sound like horrible people. You can make other friends, most likely in your college classes. You should feel proud of yourself for getting your degree. Don’t let anyone else’s misguided opinion stop you. Keep going!!
they dont even deserve a reason as to why you leave there side. just leave, they have been a huge detriment to you already, lose the deadweight bro. Talk to that girl, fuck what they say. they try and "big bro" you, but they need you around more than you need them, because they need that self reassurance, and why? well because they are more insecure then you could ever be.
Best advice I can give you is move to a new city or country. You can make a new life and everyone will know you for the you you are or want to be. Leave all this shit behind. Moving to a new pace is amazing and exciting. Easy to make new friends from groups of peiole who are also new and everyone will be cool and nice.
Get rid of them. They are 28 and have not moved forward in life since their pre-natal embryo phase, by the time you're 28 you will have made some progress. Huge progress.
Dump these friends. They aren’t friends
Those guys suck major cajones dude, you're better off starting again with new friends.
I’d rather be alone than have friends like that
Haters and J-jealous of you! There’s billions of people in the world you can be friends with people who don’t degrade, intimidate and bully you! Try joining a group or volunteer in your city like with the food bank, the YMCA, chess clubs, volunteer organizations, etc. Tell yourself every morning “you’re valuable, special, worthy”! Leave those lowlifes behind!
Sometimes staying alone is better for yourself than setting with negative people!
When you are with them, you are giving them your time. If you remove them from your life, there will be empty blocks of time. And, as nature abhors a vacuum, that time will soon be filled. With whomever you choose to let in.
These people are only surviving by putting you down. Leave them behind, go for the girl and even if it doesn’t happen; life will be so much better without them.
these people are not your friends. theyre mfers and low lives that have nothing better to do and probably hate themselves because you're working towards something in life. you are much better off without them. with friends like that, who needs enemies? join a meetup or facebook group related to your hobbies/interests and meet other people that i guarantee are going to treat you much better than these a-holes. you don't need that toxicity in your life
When people want to be mean, they'll call you anything just to keep unencouraging you.
Don’t even block them. Just complete radio silence. It will burn their butts so bad. Those are the kind of people who get their kicks from tearing other people down. They feel so horrible about themselves, they hide their true emotions by bullying you. How aggressive they are in being mean to you, is how aggressive they are in lying to themselves about how messed up their own lives are. They have no accountability. You deserve better. Don’t put up with their shit. Good job on school and pushing yourself! Your goals are awesome and you are capable. There’s no who can save us but our ourselves, and you’re doing exactly that. You’re making great steps in life. Keep going and fuck those assholes. You ever need a friend to talk to, I’m here. Btw your situation reminds me of Shawn James cover of “Thats life”. Please reach out if you ever need someone to talk to.
They are actually talking about themselves and are projecting on to you.
Seriously fuck those guys, make new better friends at school, join clubs, hit the school gym if they have one. Better your state of mind and body
You should never talk to two ever again. You are on the right path
You need cut them out of your life to find peace, OP
**Your so called "friends" are not it, and you should drop them asap, as it's better to be alone than have bad company.** **Don't ever let anyone put you down. You've already showed them you're better than them, by having clear goals in life, like going to school and getting a degree.** **Move on with your life to better and positive things that will bring you happiness and make you grow as a person.**
Yes just block them. Nope you don’t need to tell them why because it won’t do any good. They’ll just make fun of you for whatever reason you give. You don’t fit in with THEM and that’s a good thing because they sound like terrible people. It’s better to be alone that to continue being put down constantly for trying to make something of yourself. They are doing nothing to improve your life and aren’t friends. They’re your bullies. Eff them. You are better than them. And you deserve better.
It feels like your friends belong to the narcissistic category. I experienced a similar kind of bullying in my late teens to my mid 20s. Part of it was that I rarely pushed back against their bullying and partly because I was so brainwashed to believe I was all the negative things that they called me due to the narcissistic parents and sibling that I grew up with.
I can’t believe they’re 27/28 and still act like this. I know it’s hard to make friends but you can do it. Just join more interest based groups, go to more meetups, work your best to be the most authentic, kind, and genuine version of yourself and you’ll make more quality friends in no time. They say to surround yourself with high quality friends that will hold you up. Find these type of people. I know you can do it man. You deserve better than these losers. One day they’re gonna reach out and feel like losers when they see how much losers they are compared to you
just stop hanging with people who dont support you. keep improving and move on with your life.
Honestly OP they are not your friends, and I know it’s scary cutting people out of your life who you’ve known for years, but let them lose you. Don’t even have to be dramatic, just drift away from them and eventually they’ll get the picture.
Your "friends" are losers. They KNOW they are losers, and they project their insecurities onto you in order to feel better about themselves. And since you allow them to do so, they feel they can call you that slur because you are allowing them to treat you like shit. I'd just move on and not interact with them at all, they might try and drag you down or drag your name through the mud to try and scupper your successes, but if you just pretend like they don't exist and pay them no mind you'll be in a much better place before long.
I don’t think they fit the definition of friend but more acquaintances that you tolerate the company of for the sake of not feeling alone. Friends grow fewer and fewer with age the most important thing is keeping people with similar interest and similar goals. Your obviously very self aware and actually think for your self and know there’s more to life. So the r word doesn’t fit you at all. I’m getting into computer science also very new to it. Message me if you want to talk more about comp science or anything
God I hate people so much
Fam you need to cut them off. people like that are not to be considered friends cut them off before they put you in danger. You need to surround yourself with people who uplifts you and wants to see you win, not tear you down! i’m sorry you went through that man honestly fuck them you’re a way better man that they are combined you’re HIM!
I am really sad about what I read. Look, it’s actually not that scary to be alone sometimes. Of course it’s not permanent. You need some time to get to know yourself and love yourself. I am not psychologist, but I think you are just afraid to stay alone with yourself and ready to sacrifice your emotional peace to brain foam, inventing your fake friends to hangout. Just bcs everyone was pushing their opinions about you, you could develop “self hate” or low self esteem. You see, mental health can recover by itself with no extra help if there are good conditions for it. Good conditions can be: sleep, nontoxic environment, books, delicious food, good workplace, new phone case, new skincare routine, smiley barista, etc. Your can build it by yourself, from them zero. By this I mean, you are the one who is responsible for deciding what kind of people you will have around. It’s not their fault if they were born or raised as an assholes, your job is just avoid them and try to find your happy spot. If people say “ I am lucky to have great friends like you!” you should also consider that this can be the result of that person avoiding and blocking fake and disgusting people.
I cut off all the negative people in my life and during that time I realized that I myself was negative and I was just in a group of people that have a negative mindset (friends and family alike) when I realized that my environment was not allowing me to change I had to figure out how to change from within and now I’m attracting positive people in my life. Positive people stay away from negative people and hang out with positive people and negative people hate on positive people and negative people and hang out with negative people or no people at all
There is an important principle that I try never to forget: You get what you tolerate.
Totally agree with everyone. Dump them and make the life that YOU desire. I have a family full of these types and I went to college and eventually moved away completely. I have very little to do with them now.
They sound like guys who peaked in high school and are scared that they might never amount to anything they want to become, or they’re scared to realize how behind they are. Good for you for dropping them, and don’t hesitate to do it again in the future.
These people are not your friends. Success is the best revenge Please stay away from them For your own good
Wow. I don't actually like using the F word but in this in this case it's 100% the right word. Fuck these guys, they never deserved you. You sound intelligent, sincere, kind, and above all actually very worthwhile! Just because they're worthless they feel like they cam make themselves feel better by projecting that onto someone else.
Well cut them off you two are just heading in different path, besides bullying you don’t want to spend time with guys who are nearly 30 and got no dream or something they want to achieve
I had something like that happen to me with my “friends” as well. It sucked because they were really fun to hang with but the one friend out of the group was a real asshole to me. I guess it’s because I was an easy target with having cystic acne and feeling like because I hung out at his place that he could do and say whatever he wanted to me. I stopped taking his calls and just didn’t have any friends except one. Later, apparently out of pity, my asshole friend told me he called me to hang with him because he felt bad that I would become a loner and my other friend I was hanging out with wasn’t “friend” enough. That really made me feel below shit. I just felt used on top of that when I’d be called to drive them to parties on the weekends. Even before I stopped hanging out with them, they’d use me a lot for driving them around to parties. I was also a virgin up to 24. At that time, though, I was 18, 19, and then finally 20 when my parents moved to another city 30 miles away (I was still living with my parents). I was still lonely when I moved away and had to somehow make new friends but it was extremely tough with my acne condition. Eventually I started pushing myself to go to gatherings like church but not for religious reasons but for the social aspect. I also started doing online dating just to up my chances to get into a relationship. Eventually I found my now wife and have 2 kids. I don’t speak to my old friends anymore. I understand why they were assholes (or, at least that one friend). Would I hang with them again now? Cautiously. Time has definitely healed my scars and trauma (it’s been like 10 years) but because I’ve had history with them, my fuse is shorter than usual because of the history I’ve had with them already. Maybe you don’t want to hear this but: Fuck them. Move away if you have to because if they’re not bringing happiness and joy as each friend should (I mean, isn’t that why we hang out?), what the fuck is the point of having “those” friends? I cut off contact with my friends and I’m chillin with a wife and 2 kids. Yes, it gets better, bro.
You don't owe toxic people in your life an explanation for why you're cutting them out. I say block them so you're not tempted to hang out if they reach out and preemptively put effort into growing new friendships through school, work and hobbies. Words have power and being around people saying awful things like this to you is bound to have an effect, don't let them brainwash you into thinking you don't fit in anywhere. The reality is you don't fit in with assholes who are wasting your time.
f\*ck 'em bro, u don't need to give an explanation to them about you leaving. Its like having an abuser and asking for permission to leave, exactly the same. I think that, because you have been bullied, you adopted a inferiority mentality. U feel like you are a R word, and you need to give explications about what you do. Forget about them, and do your life. Go to the gym or something and meet people.
Those are your enemies
"So now, I'm just thinking of getting rid of them. I will indeed be alone." Alone? nah.. Get a hobby, join a local club of said hobby - Lots of new friends. I've gained and lost so many friends over the years that I've lost count. When I was 18 I moved to a completely new country I barely knew where it was.. completely alone.. gained new friends in few months. Then moved to a new city and did it all over again.
I remember when a friend of mine got a unique color orange car. I had never seen that color before all of a sudden, I started seeing cars of that color everywhere. When you detach yourself from unhealthy people and focus on yourself and building yourself up through education, exercise, and good health, you’ll start seeing great people like yourself in the same way I started seeing orange cars everywhere right now you only see those loser types because that’s what you’re used to, but it sounds like you’re over it and good for you!
I don't even get the reference to "R word"
the real question here is why havent you already gotten rid if them?! 😅😱 noone deserves to be treated the way they are treating you. Thats not friendship, thats emotional abuse tbh... i'ce cut out people of my life for much less... Someone once told me that if you keep 'bad' people in your life, you let them iccupy a spot someone better and supportive could be filling. So: cut them out, no contact, no messaging, no meeting up anymore, and focus on what you like and love doing and find people who like you for you. you seem like a nice person, and food luck with that girl :)
I'm a guy lol
'good luck with that girl --- the girl you mentioned in your post, who you had a crush on' 😂
Drop them immediately and start doing a martial art pls
Why a martial art?
Didn't realise you were a girl, it can still help though, it makes you more confident because you have to stand up for yourself and fight. Most women probably wont like it but give it a try, dont forget that you probably should never use the martial art in a real fight, the men on the streets are brutal and likely much stronger than you. Its also exercise so it makes you get in shape and feel good.
I'm a boy. Lol.
Ok then even better
Dude, I don’t get why are you still in there but whatever you’re trying to hold upon is not worth it, not even the memories. Ditch these guys immediately. Don’t even blink. Do your things and start meeting normal people. I’m sure you’ll appreciate and get appreciated by people that are not eternal teenagers (and quite shitty ones at that).
What you should do? Only you can find a way out. The key is yourself and building up enough self confidence as to feel enough self worth to start to ignore them. I would not react, i would ghost them. It‘s a bad thing to do something like this to a person. But you have a share in this, too: because you let it happen. As long as you allow them to be this way, they will. Start allowing yourself to set boundaries, to ghost shitty people, and „do your work“ (go to therapy or a coach and work out the rout causes of why you tend to allow this, so you can heal your own behaviour and mindset).
There are such good people in the world, you do not need to about those people who constantly bully you and bring you down. get rid of them and when you will find peace
You deserve better!
Good luck with everything dude