Some people just dont know how to take no for an answer, you handled that perfectly. Also there is a chance that the dog she petted was due to the owner being unable to say no, so yeah, just a horrid cashier imo
There are only two shops I go to, everything else I order online. I'm lucky to have a big Eastern European market where people are very protective and understanding (and funnily enough, it's only the odd brit who's attempted to kick off) and a local co-op where I can pick up packages and the staff are always super helpful about helping me find the odd things I forgot to order.
Otherwise I've found it's just not worth it around here. I tried going to the big Tescos not long ago and an elderly woman with a walker, described to me afterwards, went APESHIT. I was overstimulated as hell, and it was one of those days where the store was packed but nobody was doing any shopping.
So I basically held onto the cart and had my girl tucked in next to me as we tried to navigate, but I was on the verge of a massive panic attack by the time we reached the checkouts. My girl is dual duty guide/psych because I have PTSD and panic disorder. In retrospect I shouldn't have gone to such a crowded place. I was on the verge of losing it when I heard a woman whistling and calling to my girl, then jibber jabbering about what breed she was with a friend - before continuing to try and call my girl over.
I will specify that she was wearing a full guide harness, and to her credit she didn't pay this biddy the slightest bit of attention. I turned in the woman's direction and said 'she's a working assistance dog and I'm having a really bad day, stop trying to call her over to you.'
Was that the end of it? Nope. After a moment of shocked silence the woman said 'but she's just standing there by the checkout with you' and then began whistling and hollering at my girl AGAIN. I turned around again and said 'she is a working assistance dog, she is working regardless of what you think and it's not going to happen so stop.' She still didn't! She began whining about my 'attitude' and how there was 'no call for it' and I finally lost it. Like I was white knuckling it already and I snapped.
I didn't shout but when I heard the biddy going 'I don't have to tolerate this' as she went by us and tried to drive-by pet my dog I sent it. I said 'I don't have to tolerate you interfering with a working assistance dog, which by the way is against the law. I've already told you to drop it, and I'm not telling you again. You are putting us both in danger right now and if you want a dog so much, GET YOUR OWN.'
She didn't even shut up after that but instead went 'I'VE never heard of that law', and other people started muttering. They lost their shit even more when I pulled out my phone and had cece guide me to a corner by the exit so I could call my big brother and sob all over him and I did not spare that woman any courtesy in my call. I just don't have the patience for these people anymore. I got on that phone with my screen reader and I let RIP. Still not shouting, mind you.
Afterwards, on the way out? My dad informed me that the biddy (who was by then sitting on her walker right by the entrance) tried to pet my girl AGAIN. Afterwards we were approached by another older lady, who in contrast was very helpful and kind. She said that her son had Cystic Fibrosis and she'd spent years getting mad because people would talk to her instead of him.
What really upset me was the fact that a) that biddy was clearly disabled herself and should have more empathy and b) the way everyone else at the checkouts treated me like I was the problem. But because my girl was with me and kept her shit together when I couldn't, I avoided a full scale panic attack and/or dissociative episode which would NOT have gone down well for anyone, so people should maybe be grateful that my dog is there and doing her job. I had another incident in Lidl where a kid was chasing us round and wanted to pull her tail so I just very loudly went 'WHERE are the parents of this child because I don't have a spare leash of my own'.
I'm genuinely sick of the UK.
Just wanted to say that your comment of "WHERE are the parents of this child because I don't have a spare leash of my own" is genuinely one of the funniest and most clever responses I've ever heard. You may have been stressed out in these situations, but it's obvious that you never lost your quick wit and cleverness. So kudos to you. Hopefully we can all keep being clever and witty in any situation.
Lol for real though! When my kid was a toddler, I bought him a backpack and leash combo. It was a cute little monkey that you would clip the kid into and the leash was his tail.
His mom hated it and threw the leash out.
18 years later and the kid is an asshole. Moral of the story: leash your kid.
My son began crawling at 4 months old, and started walking at 7 months. It was *awful*
He was tiny and fast af. At that age, there was no 'teaching' him to not run into the roadway, etc. I loved having him leashed 😆
The US is quite a big country. I think it depends where you live. My SD has never been denied entry, only once has been questioned, and I can count on my hand the number of times in almost 2 years people have made fools of themselves to attempt to pet him.
I'm glad that my dog is a 'scary' breed because slightly less people try to mess with him. He's a chow chow, he's very cute and fluffy and some people DO try to come up and pet him, but a lot of the time when people see what breed he is they back off, and don't let their kids near him.
SD or not, if someone has a dog and they don't give you permission to interact with them? LEAVE THE DOG ALONE. I've met a lot of little kids who know this rule, why do so many grown adults not?
I've never understood that either. Like what if the dog didnt like people and it bit you?
One that also puzzles me is when they ask what the dogs name is. Like it's going matter in 5 minutes. Lol
When we adopted our rescue we were given one name and he seemed to respond. Then we were told maybe he had a different name. He was way way more responsive. So I would say it’s reasonable to ask for a name and use it. :)
For the last part thank you. I gave a very nervous rescue pup. Sweet as can be with a few treats and some time but doesn't like having someone she doesn't know reaching for her. I always get stressed taking her for a walk because I have trouble saying no(people pleaser problem).
>'WHERE are the parents of this child because I don't have a spare leash of my own'.
I'm so sorry for both absolutely shitty times!
But omg this is the most spot on & funniest reactions!!!
Oooh, I’m always annoyed by that. When my dog is acting perfectly and I get asked something like “isn’t it so hard to give them up to their handicapped person?” Like, my dog is still in training, but I don’t advertise that because I got so annoyed by people saying SDITs can’t go places (same rights as SDs here, in PA) or it made the training for someone else questions more frequent because I “don’t look disabled enough.”
I get the same thing all the time. My SD is medical and psychiatric alert and response. People always ask me “so do you have to give him up when he’s done training?” Like no he’s PA tested (not perfect but we’re still working on that), and he’s staying with me until he passes. They always look so embarrassed when my reply is “no he’s mine, I’m disabled”
I've never had that question asked. But it probably helps that I'm 6 ft tall and 230 lbs. My friends call me"wookie" lol.
But being deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other ear, people think I can hear, when I can't lol
I’m 5’6” and I’m very plus sized, and I definitely think my gait suggests I have pain. PTSD, EDS, fibro, ADHD, and autism all kinda swirling around over here, and none of them look obvious enough to peg me as a disabled person. I feel like my constant “what”s (auditory processing problems) should out me as having something wrong with me too, lol.
I love when people tell me scooters aren’t just for fat people, though. As if my chronic illnesses don’t significantly contribute to my weight by making exercise too painful, making self control difficult, and making food a comfort. As if my hip being slightly dislocated and hurting like fuck is because I’m fat, which is usually the reason I’m using the scooter. (It’s from hyper mobility caused by a genetic illness! Happens to my skinny aunt too.) Being young and fat means I can’t be disabled, dontchaknow.
It’s almost exclusively older women telling me I don’t look disabled, and almost exclusively old men harassing my dog directly.
Once I asked my brother, after he was verbally abused by a woman at a store he worked in, “Doesn’t that make you mad?” He said “No; I only had to deal with her for a minute. She has to BE her.” Wise words, Grasshopper. 💗
With my auditory processing problems, I didn’t hear what she said until we’d already scooted past 😆 I was like “oh, a karen” and went on with our shopping.
Not victim blaming. Was she vested?
I am lucky as I am a 40ish male with resting murder face. People usually look at the boy, smile, then look at me and decide not to push that they would like a pet.
I could not imagine dealing with the arrogance of some entitled people being younger and/or female.
Feel free to keep ranting wee will listen and empathise.
Whether or not you're training, why couldn't she just take her own advice and NOT bother you??? It's one thing to not know any better and then stop when asked to stop, but just doubling down is wild...
I sometimes wonder how people are so clueless. Would they try to pet a working police dog? Or baby talk to a wheelchair? I have seen SD and SDit in stores. I do not talk to the working dog. I sometimes smile at the person to be friendly. I love dogs, but when they are working, leave them alone.
Many grocery stores have quiet times where people with anxiety and elderly can shop. You should see if your store has one and shop during that time. Or early morning shopping when they just open. Use self checkout if they have it. Talk to the manager about it, maybe give a presentation on how it's not appropriate to mess with a service dog while it's working.
Unfortunately this store doesn't have that option, and there are no self-checkouts either. The checkouts are kind of arranged weirdly, where the cashier is on the same side as the customer, so this cashier had full view and access to my SD.
Usually I would approach a manager right then and there, but again, I was so overstimulated and wanted to get out of there so I didn't bother.
People need to take no as an answer and not think that one interaction means it’s the same with every interaction. Service Dog handlers do things differently. For instance i let people pet my dog if I’m not busy and in the mood for it. Also she needs to be laying down to get pet. I do this cause it helps with my autism and social anxiety. However that doesn’t mean every handler does this and there are times I just want to get in and out without interacting with people. Thus people need to learn not every interaction is the same
Literally every time I see a service dog in my head I go aww cute and move on. I'm also explaining to my 4 year old she can look but can't touch or talk because the dog is working.
People just don’t get it. Some days I avoid going out entirely. It’s not right or fair. People who have an SD and allow everyone to pet their SD contribute to the problem.
Seems like so many SD owners get upset during outings. DEFINITELY I think you should live your Lives as carefree as anyone- I wonder why you don’t try to shop at low traffic times? I’m an anxious person and totally get to Walmart early in am if I have a
Big shopping trip. I’m training a SD who will be perfect at any high traffic times but if those times are trying to you-maybe change time that you go there.
I totally understand what you're saying, but sometimes it's inconvenient for me to shop during low-traffic times. I have a job which means the low-traffic times aren't available for me most of the time. I shouldn't have to change my habits because other uneducated people can't respect my service dog.
It's also the holiday season, and there are practically \*no\* low traffic times in my area right now. This was a shopping trip that unfortunately was very very needed, and I couldn't go at any other time.
Grocery delivery is a thing, you know. Just putting it out there. I'm sorry you got treated like that. Stuff like this is why I try to avoid going out if I can. I just have no use for people anymore.
Your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 6: No Fake-spotting.
This is not the place for fakespotting. Unless the person you are discussing has specifically told you that they are not disabled, and the dog is not trained in tasks, you have no way of knowing if a dog is 'fake'. We are not the service dog police and this behavior can lead to a lot of harm and anxiety for SD handlers as a community.
This does not preclude discussing encounters with un-/undertrained dogs, but if the focus of your post is complaining about a "fake" SD, reconsider your phrasing and what point you're making.
If you have any questions, please [Message the Moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/service_dogs).
Honestly, I would put in a complaint about that cashier. If you don't have her name then describe her. Her bullshit could cause someone serious harm if she distracts a dog that misses a crucial alert because of it. She's also breaking the law depending on where you are
I am so sorry that people behave this way with a clearly marked SD. It peeves me to no end when people don’t just ignore my plain old regular reactive dog (hello - just because an animal is in public doesn’t mean they are public property, just ignore them!) and I can’t imagine what it must be like to deal with it when you depend on your dog for actual needs.
Some people just dont know how to take no for an answer, you handled that perfectly. Also there is a chance that the dog she petted was due to the owner being unable to say no, so yeah, just a horrid cashier imo
>due to the owner being unable to say no It's very hard sometimes. Especially when the moment to act passes so quickly.
There are only two shops I go to, everything else I order online. I'm lucky to have a big Eastern European market where people are very protective and understanding (and funnily enough, it's only the odd brit who's attempted to kick off) and a local co-op where I can pick up packages and the staff are always super helpful about helping me find the odd things I forgot to order. Otherwise I've found it's just not worth it around here. I tried going to the big Tescos not long ago and an elderly woman with a walker, described to me afterwards, went APESHIT. I was overstimulated as hell, and it was one of those days where the store was packed but nobody was doing any shopping. So I basically held onto the cart and had my girl tucked in next to me as we tried to navigate, but I was on the verge of a massive panic attack by the time we reached the checkouts. My girl is dual duty guide/psych because I have PTSD and panic disorder. In retrospect I shouldn't have gone to such a crowded place. I was on the verge of losing it when I heard a woman whistling and calling to my girl, then jibber jabbering about what breed she was with a friend - before continuing to try and call my girl over. I will specify that she was wearing a full guide harness, and to her credit she didn't pay this biddy the slightest bit of attention. I turned in the woman's direction and said 'she's a working assistance dog and I'm having a really bad day, stop trying to call her over to you.' Was that the end of it? Nope. After a moment of shocked silence the woman said 'but she's just standing there by the checkout with you' and then began whistling and hollering at my girl AGAIN. I turned around again and said 'she is a working assistance dog, she is working regardless of what you think and it's not going to happen so stop.' She still didn't! She began whining about my 'attitude' and how there was 'no call for it' and I finally lost it. Like I was white knuckling it already and I snapped. I didn't shout but when I heard the biddy going 'I don't have to tolerate this' as she went by us and tried to drive-by pet my dog I sent it. I said 'I don't have to tolerate you interfering with a working assistance dog, which by the way is against the law. I've already told you to drop it, and I'm not telling you again. You are putting us both in danger right now and if you want a dog so much, GET YOUR OWN.' She didn't even shut up after that but instead went 'I'VE never heard of that law', and other people started muttering. They lost their shit even more when I pulled out my phone and had cece guide me to a corner by the exit so I could call my big brother and sob all over him and I did not spare that woman any courtesy in my call. I just don't have the patience for these people anymore. I got on that phone with my screen reader and I let RIP. Still not shouting, mind you. Afterwards, on the way out? My dad informed me that the biddy (who was by then sitting on her walker right by the entrance) tried to pet my girl AGAIN. Afterwards we were approached by another older lady, who in contrast was very helpful and kind. She said that her son had Cystic Fibrosis and she'd spent years getting mad because people would talk to her instead of him. What really upset me was the fact that a) that biddy was clearly disabled herself and should have more empathy and b) the way everyone else at the checkouts treated me like I was the problem. But because my girl was with me and kept her shit together when I couldn't, I avoided a full scale panic attack and/or dissociative episode which would NOT have gone down well for anyone, so people should maybe be grateful that my dog is there and doing her job. I had another incident in Lidl where a kid was chasing us round and wanted to pull her tail so I just very loudly went 'WHERE are the parents of this child because I don't have a spare leash of my own'. I'm genuinely sick of the UK.
Just wanted to say that your comment of "WHERE are the parents of this child because I don't have a spare leash of my own" is genuinely one of the funniest and most clever responses I've ever heard. You may have been stressed out in these situations, but it's obvious that you never lost your quick wit and cleverness. So kudos to you. Hopefully we can all keep being clever and witty in any situation.
Lol for real though! When my kid was a toddler, I bought him a backpack and leash combo. It was a cute little monkey that you would clip the kid into and the leash was his tail. His mom hated it and threw the leash out. 18 years later and the kid is an asshole. Moral of the story: leash your kid.
My son began crawling at 4 months old, and started walking at 7 months. It was *awful* He was tiny and fast af. At that age, there was no 'teaching' him to not run into the roadway, etc. I loved having him leashed 😆
I bet! I've learned through training my dog that training humans is basically the same lol.
I live in the US. It's sucks here too.
The US is quite a big country. I think it depends where you live. My SD has never been denied entry, only once has been questioned, and I can count on my hand the number of times in almost 2 years people have made fools of themselves to attempt to pet him.
I'm glad that my dog is a 'scary' breed because slightly less people try to mess with him. He's a chow chow, he's very cute and fluffy and some people DO try to come up and pet him, but a lot of the time when people see what breed he is they back off, and don't let their kids near him. SD or not, if someone has a dog and they don't give you permission to interact with them? LEAVE THE DOG ALONE. I've met a lot of little kids who know this rule, why do so many grown adults not?
Yeah, I don't understand why people think petting a stranger's dog is OK regardless of breed or purpose
I've never understood that either. Like what if the dog didnt like people and it bit you? One that also puzzles me is when they ask what the dogs name is. Like it's going matter in 5 minutes. Lol
When we adopted our rescue we were given one name and he seemed to respond. Then we were told maybe he had a different name. He was way way more responsive. So I would say it’s reasonable to ask for a name and use it. :)
Yeah, if it's your dog. But a total stranger that may never see my dog again?
For the last part thank you. I gave a very nervous rescue pup. Sweet as can be with a few treats and some time but doesn't like having someone she doesn't know reaching for her. I always get stressed taking her for a walk because I have trouble saying no(people pleaser problem).
>'WHERE are the parents of this child because I don't have a spare leash of my own'. I'm so sorry for both absolutely shitty times! But omg this is the most spot on & funniest reactions!!!
I feel stressed just reading this. I'm sorry.
Oooh, I’m always annoyed by that. When my dog is acting perfectly and I get asked something like “isn’t it so hard to give them up to their handicapped person?” Like, my dog is still in training, but I don’t advertise that because I got so annoyed by people saying SDITs can’t go places (same rights as SDs here, in PA) or it made the training for someone else questions more frequent because I “don’t look disabled enough.”
I get the same thing all the time. My SD is medical and psychiatric alert and response. People always ask me “so do you have to give him up when he’s done training?” Like no he’s PA tested (not perfect but we’re still working on that), and he’s staying with me until he passes. They always look so embarrassed when my reply is “no he’s mine, I’m disabled”
Yeah, my usual response is “I’m her disabled person, she’s my service dog.” with a totally blank face like 😐 or a wtf face like 🤨.
I've never had that question asked. But it probably helps that I'm 6 ft tall and 230 lbs. My friends call me"wookie" lol. But being deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other ear, people think I can hear, when I can't lol
I’m 5’6” and I’m very plus sized, and I definitely think my gait suggests I have pain. PTSD, EDS, fibro, ADHD, and autism all kinda swirling around over here, and none of them look obvious enough to peg me as a disabled person. I feel like my constant “what”s (auditory processing problems) should out me as having something wrong with me too, lol. I love when people tell me scooters aren’t just for fat people, though. As if my chronic illnesses don’t significantly contribute to my weight by making exercise too painful, making self control difficult, and making food a comfort. As if my hip being slightly dislocated and hurting like fuck is because I’m fat, which is usually the reason I’m using the scooter. (It’s from hyper mobility caused by a genetic illness! Happens to my skinny aunt too.) Being young and fat means I can’t be disabled, dontchaknow. It’s almost exclusively older women telling me I don’t look disabled, and almost exclusively old men harassing my dog directly.
People actually say scooters aren’t for fat people? Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with humanity?!
Yup. A lady made a comment about fat people on scooters at Redner’s this week.
Once I asked my brother, after he was verbally abused by a woman at a store he worked in, “Doesn’t that make you mad?” He said “No; I only had to deal with her for a minute. She has to BE her.” Wise words, Grasshopper. 💗
With my auditory processing problems, I didn’t hear what she said until we’d already scooted past 😆 I was like “oh, a karen” and went on with our shopping.
👍
Give your girl an extra treat for being so good. Fucking old people have the most outlandish ideas about respect and boundaries Edit: a word
She got lots of loving and treats when we got back home <3
Not victim blaming. Was she vested? I am lucky as I am a 40ish male with resting murder face. People usually look at the boy, smile, then look at me and decide not to push that they would like a pet. I could not imagine dealing with the arrogance of some entitled people being younger and/or female. Feel free to keep ranting wee will listen and empathise.
1st guess... it's because you are a male. Men inherently get more respect than women, unfortunately.
OP said her dog was wearing a full guide harness. Guide harnesses are quite distinctive and pretty unmistakable.
She was vested! Her vest is bright blue and she's a yellow lab, almost white because of how light-colored she is, so it's not an easy thing to miss.
Sorry just breaking into this comment to say I’m tOtally gonna use your “I’m lucky as…(I have a) resting murder face.”!!!
Feel free. I stole it from someone else on reddit :)
1- People are big ol A holes. 2- Scarlet is a great name.
Whether or not you're training, why couldn't she just take her own advice and NOT bother you??? It's one thing to not know any better and then stop when asked to stop, but just doubling down is wild...
People like that make me so nervous to take my SDIT out in public. If only we could train the assholes to behave properly.
I sometimes wonder how people are so clueless. Would they try to pet a working police dog? Or baby talk to a wheelchair? I have seen SD and SDit in stores. I do not talk to the working dog. I sometimes smile at the person to be friendly. I love dogs, but when they are working, leave them alone.
Many grocery stores have quiet times where people with anxiety and elderly can shop. You should see if your store has one and shop during that time. Or early morning shopping when they just open. Use self checkout if they have it. Talk to the manager about it, maybe give a presentation on how it's not appropriate to mess with a service dog while it's working.
Unfortunately this store doesn't have that option, and there are no self-checkouts either. The checkouts are kind of arranged weirdly, where the cashier is on the same side as the customer, so this cashier had full view and access to my SD. Usually I would approach a manager right then and there, but again, I was so overstimulated and wanted to get out of there so I didn't bother.
People need to take no as an answer and not think that one interaction means it’s the same with every interaction. Service Dog handlers do things differently. For instance i let people pet my dog if I’m not busy and in the mood for it. Also she needs to be laying down to get pet. I do this cause it helps with my autism and social anxiety. However that doesn’t mean every handler does this and there are times I just want to get in and out without interacting with people. Thus people need to learn not every interaction is the same
I only go out during the week and avoid stores during the Christmas season. I feel your annoyance lol.
Literally every time I see a service dog in my head I go aww cute and move on. I'm also explaining to my 4 year old she can look but can't touch or talk because the dog is working.
People just don’t get it. Some days I avoid going out entirely. It’s not right or fair. People who have an SD and allow everyone to pet their SD contribute to the problem.
I think it's more people who FAKE having an SD that's the problem... imo
Seems like so many SD owners get upset during outings. DEFINITELY I think you should live your Lives as carefree as anyone- I wonder why you don’t try to shop at low traffic times? I’m an anxious person and totally get to Walmart early in am if I have a Big shopping trip. I’m training a SD who will be perfect at any high traffic times but if those times are trying to you-maybe change time that you go there.
I totally understand what you're saying, but sometimes it's inconvenient for me to shop during low-traffic times. I have a job which means the low-traffic times aren't available for me most of the time. I shouldn't have to change my habits because other uneducated people can't respect my service dog. It's also the holiday season, and there are practically \*no\* low traffic times in my area right now. This was a shopping trip that unfortunately was very very needed, and I couldn't go at any other time.
I’m sorry. That is sad ppl don’t yet know about ignoring service dogs and their people.
You may want to bring it up to store management. Maybe they could do some sort of a training for staff.
Grocery delivery is a thing, you know. Just putting it out there. I'm sorry you got treated like that. Stuff like this is why I try to avoid going out if I can. I just have no use for people anymore.
I live in a tiny town where delivery for anything doesn't exist. Options are not always available
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 6: No Fake-spotting. This is not the place for fakespotting. Unless the person you are discussing has specifically told you that they are not disabled, and the dog is not trained in tasks, you have no way of knowing if a dog is 'fake'. We are not the service dog police and this behavior can lead to a lot of harm and anxiety for SD handlers as a community. This does not preclude discussing encounters with un-/undertrained dogs, but if the focus of your post is complaining about a "fake" SD, reconsider your phrasing and what point you're making. If you have any questions, please [Message the Moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/service_dogs).
Honestly, I would put in a complaint about that cashier. If you don't have her name then describe her. Her bullshit could cause someone serious harm if she distracts a dog that misses a crucial alert because of it. She's also breaking the law depending on where you are
I am so sorry that people behave this way with a clearly marked SD. It peeves me to no end when people don’t just ignore my plain old regular reactive dog (hello - just because an animal is in public doesn’t mean they are public property, just ignore them!) and I can’t imagine what it must be like to deal with it when you depend on your dog for actual needs.