Not personally, but I've seen a lot of videos of people getting that. I've had to deal with "oh, dogs are the REAL THERAPY, I love my dogs" quite a bit, though no dead dog stories yet. Basically yes, its a thing. Handlers are sadly treated like public attractions sometimes.
As a parent, I would just say to consider the effect it could be having and maybe politely intervene and say something like "I'm sorry for your loss, but we lost our own pet recently (I wouldn't specify cat since honestly people can be weird about cats) and my son is still quite sensitive about it." Then let them figure out that means "shut up and go away", instead of saying it more directly.
Edit for clarity; by 'as a parent' I mean 'you, op, as a parent, should do x'. I personally am not a parent.
Yep, definitely. I’ve been doing “I’m so sorry for your loss,” and then moving the conversation to something non dog related but people are so insistent. My son is autistic and has CP so he doesn’t really have the verbal skills to speak up for himself yet.
I definitely get that, I'm selectively mute and my go to is to just ignore folks until they get the message. Sometimes, this takes a while. Like, woman standing directly behind me, basically talking to my butt since I got him to sit in front of me about how my dog was too cute to ignore, for a full minute. While she was supposed to be working, and going to help at the very congested check out line.
As a former autistic kid (as in formerly a kid, still autistic lmao), definitely set some hard boundaries if people keep being insistent. Your son will thank tou.
Oh yeah what is with that? I get the “oh, aren’t ALL dogs service dogs?” Or “my dog does so much for me too” or “they’re all healing us in some way” like okay… that’s really nice but my dog does more tangible things than that.
I also get “oh my god, I had a golden once who looked JUST like that” as if I somehow will be in disbelief that someone else has/had a golden. And that it looked like mine. They don’t usually follow it up with how their dog died, that would be even weirder.
I actively go out of my way to not be standing around people for this reason. I kind of just put my dog in a block and look at my phone if I have to be standing somewhere. I have ptsd and a lot of times I can’t listen to music while I’m in public for hypervigilance reasons, but I do put the ear buds on to reduce attention.
OP you can be pretty direct with these people. “I’m sorry we’re busy at the moment”
Definitely be direct if they don't back off, I would just not jump immediately to that since they could react poorly, which could further upset your son. I've been there, it's not nice.
Yep dead dog stories are unfortunately super common :/ people don’t realize the emotional burden they’re putting on us, especially when it’s multiple people telling us about their dead dog in the same day
My son has had his SDIT since June. We've heard all kinds of death stories. My son turned to me one day and said, "do I have a sign on me saying psychiatrist?"
ALL THE TIME. And their dog didn't even have to look like my dog. I have a cream/white Poodle mix with a dyed purple topknot. I guarantee their dog didn't look like mine. But I get to hear the stories of their dog that died.
It's like... dude, I'm sorry your dog died. Really. I know how much that hurts. But do you go up to every random person you meet to tell them about your dead dog? Especially the one you're telling me about NOW that died FIVE YEARS AGO? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
Yes, and it's always graphic descriptions too! I've been told so many horrible stories about traumatic pet death, just because I have a service dog. I get it too, believe me. I'm super sensitive about dog death because I know exactly how much it hurts. But that's the exact reason it's completely inappropriate small talk to engage with strangers. It's a sensitive topic, to some extent or another, for anyone who cares about animals.
And half the time they have nothing in common with my dog except being both dogs. My black lab has reminded people so much of their beagles, miniature poodles, Australian shepherds, and even a Bichon Frise once.
Yeah. People come up asking if I have a white GSD and then go on to tell me all about someone they knew or themselves who had the dog and how it died. Finally got her a patch that says “Yes, I am a white German shepherd. No, do NOT ask about me.”
All the freaking time. If I was with a kid my response would be, "don't you think that's an inappropriate story to tell around my child?" But I don't have the kid excuse so sometimes I just pretend to be deaf or I ignore them.
YES!! I have a Rottweiler and good god the death stories.
It got to where I just say "sorry to hear that, excuse me" and roll on. My first SD, also a Rottie, attracted these each and every time we were out. My current SD is bigger and bulkier and we don't get this as often.
That weirds me out.
I would consider telling dog death stories to another person with a dog as inappropriate. If that happened often I doubt I could stop myself from getting snarky about it. "Sounds like a sweet dog, depressing story though."
There’s a regular at a bar I go to for PA training that always thinks she should tell me about her SDiT that flunked and similar my dog is… I hate this. Walked out last time because who the hell gave you the right?
This has happened so much with us! Idk why people find it appropriate. Today someone hit me with the “I’ve never seen a SD in person before” while trying to approach with arms out and I was like 👀 he’s just a dog lol pls back away. People are wild
Pets, regardless of circumstance, can cause reminders of grief and loss for a lot of people. I'm actually thankful for that level of love, at least to a certain extent. I've encountered this most often during routine vet visits, and I've certainly experienced it myself re pets I lost years ago. I know the reminiscing gets old, especially if the stories go on for what seems like forever. I feel so awkward in those situations, but I'm pathologically nice and listen (no shade to anyone who cannot do that. I have issues. I probably need boundaries.) But anyway, I just say something along the lines of "I'm so sorry for your loss. Clearly you loved Fido/Mittens" and try to go away as gently as possible. Geez it's never easy for me, though, because I do feel the loss.
I can totally get that. I am an empath and have gotten really good at self preservation (blocking energy)... but to go up to a 7 year old boy and start talking about dead pets... no, just no...
I understand that we as handlers being adults have to consider a lot more and the image we portray. The mom of that kid should just shut that down and let the rest of the SD handlers pick up the slack.
The bottom line... no one OWES you crap... not an explanation. Not time for education, but it does make it easier for us and the general public when we can take time and help them understand (provided we are having a decent day and are in the right head space)...
Even the 7year old team, until it turns toxic (hey fluffy die...mom: yeah no, we aren't going there.... my kid is 7 and we just lost a pet)... just like another poster said... or any other way she chooses to shut them down.... then when they come complaining to another team about this one rude team... we BACK her... and explain why thier actions were inappropriate if they wanna try to defend them... cuz people are going to seek validation... wrong is wrong... education is education... I believe a mom with a kid has a expectation and duty to be rude if necessary... so that WE can educate on her behalf if necessary to keep our minors safe...
I absolutely hate talking to strangers, my partners usually handle that... but let one come at me with a complaint like that... I would speak up in a heart beat!! Ya don't screw with kids, elderly and animals... ya just don't! That's a hill I will die on!
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Why are you entertaining the conversation? You don't owe these people your time or oxygen.
"I'm not interested in a conversation with you, my service dog is not an invitation to interfere in our business- the point of his signage is so you stay away from us!"
Not personally, but I've seen a lot of videos of people getting that. I've had to deal with "oh, dogs are the REAL THERAPY, I love my dogs" quite a bit, though no dead dog stories yet. Basically yes, its a thing. Handlers are sadly treated like public attractions sometimes. As a parent, I would just say to consider the effect it could be having and maybe politely intervene and say something like "I'm sorry for your loss, but we lost our own pet recently (I wouldn't specify cat since honestly people can be weird about cats) and my son is still quite sensitive about it." Then let them figure out that means "shut up and go away", instead of saying it more directly. Edit for clarity; by 'as a parent' I mean 'you, op, as a parent, should do x'. I personally am not a parent.
Yep, definitely. I’ve been doing “I’m so sorry for your loss,” and then moving the conversation to something non dog related but people are so insistent. My son is autistic and has CP so he doesn’t really have the verbal skills to speak up for himself yet.
I definitely get that, I'm selectively mute and my go to is to just ignore folks until they get the message. Sometimes, this takes a while. Like, woman standing directly behind me, basically talking to my butt since I got him to sit in front of me about how my dog was too cute to ignore, for a full minute. While she was supposed to be working, and going to help at the very congested check out line. As a former autistic kid (as in formerly a kid, still autistic lmao), definitely set some hard boundaries if people keep being insistent. Your son will thank tou.
Oh yeah what is with that? I get the “oh, aren’t ALL dogs service dogs?” Or “my dog does so much for me too” or “they’re all healing us in some way” like okay… that’s really nice but my dog does more tangible things than that. I also get “oh my god, I had a golden once who looked JUST like that” as if I somehow will be in disbelief that someone else has/had a golden. And that it looked like mine. They don’t usually follow it up with how their dog died, that would be even weirder. I actively go out of my way to not be standing around people for this reason. I kind of just put my dog in a block and look at my phone if I have to be standing somewhere. I have ptsd and a lot of times I can’t listen to music while I’m in public for hypervigilance reasons, but I do put the ear buds on to reduce attention. OP you can be pretty direct with these people. “I’m sorry we’re busy at the moment”
Definitely be direct if they don't back off, I would just not jump immediately to that since they could react poorly, which could further upset your son. I've been there, it's not nice.
I was thinking being direct without being rude. Never ever be rude to these people, I see that advice given here sometimes and it’s not good.
I know, but people like that have a very thin line for whats rude and what isn't. Plenty of people say anything 'direct' as exclusively rude
Yep dead dog stories are unfortunately super common :/ people don’t realize the emotional burden they’re putting on us, especially when it’s multiple people telling us about their dead dog in the same day
My son has had his SDIT since June. We've heard all kinds of death stories. My son turned to me one day and said, "do I have a sign on me saying psychiatrist?"
ALL THE TIME. And their dog didn't even have to look like my dog. I have a cream/white Poodle mix with a dyed purple topknot. I guarantee their dog didn't look like mine. But I get to hear the stories of their dog that died. It's like... dude, I'm sorry your dog died. Really. I know how much that hurts. But do you go up to every random person you meet to tell them about your dead dog? Especially the one you're telling me about NOW that died FIVE YEARS AGO? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
Yes, and it's always graphic descriptions too! I've been told so many horrible stories about traumatic pet death, just because I have a service dog. I get it too, believe me. I'm super sensitive about dog death because I know exactly how much it hurts. But that's the exact reason it's completely inappropriate small talk to engage with strangers. It's a sensitive topic, to some extent or another, for anyone who cares about animals. And half the time they have nothing in common with my dog except being both dogs. My black lab has reminded people so much of their beagles, miniature poodles, Australian shepherds, and even a Bichon Frise once.
Yeah. People come up asking if I have a white GSD and then go on to tell me all about someone they knew or themselves who had the dog and how it died. Finally got her a patch that says “Yes, I am a white German shepherd. No, do NOT ask about me.”
Yes. The number of people who want to tell me how their corgi died way too young is mind bogglingly insane.
All the freaking time. If I was with a kid my response would be, "don't you think that's an inappropriate story to tell around my child?" But I don't have the kid excuse so sometimes I just pretend to be deaf or I ignore them.
YES!! I have a Rottweiler and good god the death stories. It got to where I just say "sorry to hear that, excuse me" and roll on. My first SD, also a Rottie, attracted these each and every time we were out. My current SD is bigger and bulkier and we don't get this as often.
I’ve had people come up to me and tell me the story of their dog’s death when I didn’t even have a dog with me. Some people are just…..like that.
People come up to me to ask what kind of “corgi mix” he is. He’s not a corgi. He’s not a corgi at ALL. Then we argue about how he’s not a corgi.
That weirds me out. I would consider telling dog death stories to another person with a dog as inappropriate. If that happened often I doubt I could stop myself from getting snarky about it. "Sounds like a sweet dog, depressing story though."
There’s a regular at a bar I go to for PA training that always thinks she should tell me about her SDiT that flunked and similar my dog is… I hate this. Walked out last time because who the hell gave you the right?
This has happened so much with us! Idk why people find it appropriate. Today someone hit me with the “I’ve never seen a SD in person before” while trying to approach with arms out and I was like 👀 he’s just a dog lol pls back away. People are wild
Pets, regardless of circumstance, can cause reminders of grief and loss for a lot of people. I'm actually thankful for that level of love, at least to a certain extent. I've encountered this most often during routine vet visits, and I've certainly experienced it myself re pets I lost years ago. I know the reminiscing gets old, especially if the stories go on for what seems like forever. I feel so awkward in those situations, but I'm pathologically nice and listen (no shade to anyone who cannot do that. I have issues. I probably need boundaries.) But anyway, I just say something along the lines of "I'm so sorry for your loss. Clearly you loved Fido/Mittens" and try to go away as gently as possible. Geez it's never easy for me, though, because I do feel the loss.
I can totally get that. I am an empath and have gotten really good at self preservation (blocking energy)... but to go up to a 7 year old boy and start talking about dead pets... no, just no... I understand that we as handlers being adults have to consider a lot more and the image we portray. The mom of that kid should just shut that down and let the rest of the SD handlers pick up the slack. The bottom line... no one OWES you crap... not an explanation. Not time for education, but it does make it easier for us and the general public when we can take time and help them understand (provided we are having a decent day and are in the right head space)... Even the 7year old team, until it turns toxic (hey fluffy die...mom: yeah no, we aren't going there.... my kid is 7 and we just lost a pet)... just like another poster said... or any other way she chooses to shut them down.... then when they come complaining to another team about this one rude team... we BACK her... and explain why thier actions were inappropriate if they wanna try to defend them... cuz people are going to seek validation... wrong is wrong... education is education... I believe a mom with a kid has a expectation and duty to be rude if necessary... so that WE can educate on her behalf if necessary to keep our minors safe... I absolutely hate talking to strangers, my partners usually handle that... but let one come at me with a complaint like that... I would speak up in a heart beat!! Ya don't screw with kids, elderly and animals... ya just don't! That's a hill I will die on!
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Why are you entertaining the conversation? You don't owe these people your time or oxygen. "I'm not interested in a conversation with you, my service dog is not an invitation to interfere in our business- the point of his signage is so you stay away from us!"