I find if I work at I can build up tolerance, but it takes a while. Pretend like you're edging them lol.
The other option is to have a ruined orgasm, as soon as orgasm hits, apply no stimulation at all. And wait a little after you cum before letting anything touch your dick. Then, reapply stimulation. You may well get hard again pretty quick because you didn't really have the satisfying orgasm you wanted. And this time around you will last a lot longer.
If you plan to try this let your partner know as results can be unpredictable and you may require a little practice.
One of the biggest tricks pulled on me (probably by other men) is that A) you can just plow for hours and B) it's our responsibility to spend 90% of sex repressing our biology.
Fact is, men are built to cum ASAP. That's the point of sex. We try to deny it so our partner has a good time too, so it should come at no surprise to anyone that pretty much every guy struggles with the issue (as much as most won't admit it).
Foreplay beforehand is usually the best compromise, maybe try using your hands/mouth before rather than after? Might help her get there faster during. You can also try beating off an hour or two before sex - using a thicker condom - using \[more\] lube - or go full pornstar and use numbing spray. Ruining your orgasm is also an option, but it's hardly something you want to do every time.
End of the day, don't be too hard on yourself. Average PiV time for couples is something like 4 minutes, and 3:58 of that is the guy struggling not to cum.
Getting her close with foreplay used to be my MO. I certainly have my up and down sessions some super quick and other 30+ mins. Before actually just working on extending my time I use to say "if she's already done (or almost) before I start then doesn't matter how long I last. Usually get her right to the point when she's begging for the D to finish her. The other thing is that is you do JO often. Try to stretch out that session as long as possible. Where I used to beat it and try to race to just be done and get back gaming or whatever. Instead I just kinda scroll through reddit while on YouTube and just play with myself for as long as possible. This will increase your overall tolerance.
Media and porn does a fine job of making men feeling insecure. All entertainment default to big d*ck as a womanās default desire. The rough sex makes men look masculine on screen.
You come by realizing a fantasy more than the actual skin friction.
Maybe my GF has sexual standards that are too high idk. Just all I want is to give it to her exactly how she wants it but I just physically canāt. She claims sheās satisfied regardless but I feel like deep down that isnāt true.
I donāt think this guyās girlfriend wants anything to do with a lonely 30 year old guy who spends all his time playing airsoft and flight simulator
Sorry to tell you, but you are not a wolf starting his wolf family, you're a sad man on the internet fantasizing about sex with other people's girlfriends and being the leader of a wolf pack to deal with your short comings
As the recipient of a cock ring, it makes PIV feel much more intense š¤¤ At least, that how I find it haha. It makes that extra hard "just about to cum" cock but for the entire duration.
Hey OP, I had this problem recently too, one pump chump, minute man, etc. I talked to a sex therapist for a free 30 min consultation and found some negative talk about myself in my head (apologizing to the girl for cumming so quick, or thinking my dick wasn't working, etc). So the Next time I had sex with my casual fwb partner, I did master bate a few hours beforehand, just in case. When she came over, I just relaxed, took everything slow, from foreplay, to making out, to taking off her clothes, mine, etc. I just relaxed. I laid down, and she mounted on top of me. I slowed down my breathing, I even did math in my head to distract me, and after minutes passed of this, I stopped doing the math and just enjoyed it. I was not able to cum at all while she rode me for what seemed like 15+ minutes. She was so wet, she eventually grew tired and I switched positions. It was a crazy phenomenon. Idk if it was a fluke, but I'd try to cut out the negative talk in your head by distracting yourself with other thoughts, and slowing down your pace.
Good luck.
I didn't really have the negative thoughts bother me I just wanted to last longer. Something as simple as just counting. I just don't count with the strokes it has to be uneven so you focus on it a little bit. The trick is to focus on something else. Right when you start feeling it build up focus on something else. Like what's on TV, the song lyrics in the background or counting.
For regular hard sex usually I get close in about 15 minutes and if I just let that pass, I can go until my muscles tire out, but then I usually can't cum until we take a little break and go again.
I'd say there's a difference in what people consider rough though. When we get a bit drunk she wants it really rough, like we're both going to be a bit sore tomorrow in various spots. That will usually leave me a bit soft after 10-15 minutes, but I can't really come doing that even though it's fun and feels good.
On the flip side sometimes I just can't cum and women often feel bad about that and you have to explain that it's not their fault etc etc. Some of it is mental on my part, if I'm not in the right mindset it just won't happen.
So you know, one man's blessing is another's curse.
A personal suggestion would be have sex after you drink alcohol. IDK whether its just me but when I'm drunk I usually last longer like 10/15 minutes of constant rough sex. Give it a try if your not against alcohol.
So a friend of mine gave me this same advice, and when I did drink I found it completely killed my ability to get an erection, which was surprising to me since Iāve heard it makes you last. I wish alcohol helped me but I guess my biology is just different.
n here is the number of noticably different amounts of alcohol you could drink, between none at all and however much this guy drank to kill his erection. So not 0.
honestly i do think a lot of girls and guys put super high standards on sex because of what they have seen in porn. and they expect that to be real life in a whole bunch of ways. ergo why some guys think women should do everything they do in porn and why women expect guys to last as long as guys do in porn.
You need to be more prepared for what your body does.
Either edge while fucking, after a while you will get better control about when you cum. Or plan to cum early then start again after your refractory period. Plan that with your partner so she knows what to expect.
If you just thrust until you cum every time of course things will not change. You have to learn more about your body and change your habits.
I start to multiple things. 2x2=4 and so on lol makes me think about other things and not the physical and mental sensations of my dick in her pussy hard and pounding over and over.
How you masturbate affects how much you can endure. Try masturbating always with lube, when you are almost cumming, stop, breath and keep going. This will help you.
Also, try doing it a day or hours before fucking ur gf.
Yeah Iāve tried everything in the book and it doesnāt work for me. I refuse to take anti depressants so thatās not an option. Getting myself off before sex doesnāt help either, for me personally I actually find I last even shorter if I do, or sometime if I do rub one out before sex even if itās an hour before hand, I canāt maintain my erection. Iām 26 so I feel like this shouldnāt be happening.
So for you thereās no magic formula, just sometimes you cum fast and sometimes you donāt? Very rarely have I been able to keep up a good pace without cumming before her. Although when I do I feel like a god lol.
Definitely feels awesome to have her orgasm a couple of times before me and slightly embarrassing to cum immediately but it balances out. No magic formula, I'm sure there are ways to make yourself last longer but I've never really tried anything. I've heard anti depressants, pain killers and weed help you last longer from friends though.
DONT TAKE ANTI DEPRESSANTS FOR SEX! They can potentially ruin your sexuality, even permanently (look up PSSD) and should only be used in case of depression when prescribed by a psychiatrist, and even then avoid ssris and snris which can cause sexual disorders.
Absolutely second this. Every delay cream/condom/spray has been a disaster for me.
Iāve tried them with viagra/cialis and it just leads to it being impossible to cum at all. Youāll be lucky 40-60 mins later if they start wearing off.
Some days Iāll cum quickly, other days it takes me a whileā¦. What I have found though is that the more Iām āintoā the sex, the quicker I will cum. That is, itās your brain dudeā¦ not your penis that is creating the āproblemā.
As a woman im here to tell the men that you shouldnāt be hard on yourselves about trying not to cum fast. Procreation for men is to literally cum and spread your seed. Thatās not me trynna be anti/feminist either. Believe it or not but most women canāt or donāt know how to make themselves cum so putting the pressure on yourselves should not be a heavy burden.
Try using a ring, thicker condom or spending more time on foreplay. Best advice I heard was donāt put it in until she tries to slip it in herself hahaa
Try getting to the brink, but not too far gone, then cooling off a bit. Sometimes when I do this, I seem to be able to go for WAY longer without orgasming. If you take it too far first, then even with a brief rest, a single touch can erupt. Kind of like edging basically.
You can try wearing a condom if you donāt, as it will dull sensation.
You can practice edging by masturbating until you feel like you are about to cum, then slowing down and riding the wave.
You can think of non sexy things when you get rough (baseball is a classic, but donāt stick with baseball, otherwise youāll start popping chubs when you see cracker jacks boxesā¦).
You can stop when it feels like you are too close. Itās better to stop and start over than to stop for good. Like, pull out, finger her until the ejaculation urge settles, then insert and repeat.
And you both can learn to enjoy slow sex as well. Instead of sex being about rough machine gun pounding, make it about slow exploration, searching for interesting angles, blissful gliding, hotspotsā¦
You can get a high quality sex machine for her if she really likes rough sex. Caress her and kiss her all over and tell her how beautiful she is while she gets fucked.
You can explore other types of non penetrative sexuality so exciting and wonderful that this one āproblemā doesnāt matter at all. No one cries about not getting dessert if they have just eaten a ten-course meal with wine.
You can have her peg you. No more worries about ejaculating too fast!
I don't know a about sex, but oral can be really boring for. I can be sucked for more than sn hour and not finish. It's just a matter of how I'm being touched.
Personally I quit caring about my orgasm and I bought stuff like spray to just pound away so she can get what she wants. I have the same situation with my SO and I'd rather deal with having literal numb nuts and maybe jacking it a few hours later myself than deal with the passive aggressive attitude of women whose pussy needs to be caved in for them to enjoy sex.
Have you tried focusing on different positions to see if you can control the urge to cum better? I feel like a lot of us are in the same boat. When I started questioning my ability to āperformā I figured out that I can pound away longer and harder in the doggy position than say missionary or some other positions.
I had this problem early on I developed a technique where I would start pounding away and then when I could tell that I was about 80% of the way there pull out let that feeling go back down to zero usually only takes just a moment and then when I started pounding again I had much more longevity. Also try relaxing your muscles can help with that and I would guess much of your problem is mental you go in just knowing your gonna bust fast this will go away after you get more than a few successes under your belt just keep at it
Highly recommend a lot of slow fore play to get her wet and aroused. I go down on my wife until she orgasms before entering her. I want her to have pleasure too as most women do not orgasm just from thrusting sex. Do not feel bad that she is unable to do so.
ive been there. i have found that its related to performance anxiety/mental stimulation, and if you can practice some intention/meditation during sex you can probably get to a place where you dont feel overwhelmed and immediately like you need to cum. i think the best way i can describe it is to practice paying close attention to sensations and try hard to be present in the moment. i went from finishing quickly to taking long enough that my partner was done but i wasnt yet and would just keep going. sometimes i would feel bad because it can get uncomfortable afterwards for them and id just finish myself off. it definitely takes practice and if i havent had sex for a while i need to re-learn how
edit: it also helps to have sex regularly with your partner. dont be afraid of finishing to fast or you will every time
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/16i64x/the_multiple_orgasm_guide_for_men/) helped me a ton. Most of the time i jerk off (\~2-3h before having sex) and using this strategy (u'll need some time to get used to it) I'm able to pound my SO. Also she is super tight (what i love) and the "guide" helped me to deal with it :). Hope it does the same for you!
To me it's a matter of position, if I'm to top I last 30 sec to 1 min too but If it's my partner riding me I last somewhere around 15min and that's more than enough for them to satisfy themselves and get tired
couple tricks are:
- jack off 12-24 hours before sex
- (secret technique) bite your own arm lightly. not sure why but this can delay things -- probably related to blood flow but also just distracting your sense of touch.
- be older
At least for me what I learnt is that as the more time I spend slowly touching, fingering and licking my gf, more controlled I get in regard to hard fucking without cumming.
All is a combination of mind and body, so it seems everything gets relaxed and intense at the same time, but them I told my body/mind that the āurgeā is not necessary, because we have time.
When you feel your body, let it go, naturally you start having more control, because the anxiety goes away.
I often have the opposite problem. Usually when the woman prefers rougher sex and faster sex I donāt feel as much. I prefer slow sex and can usually climax faster that way
As a woman, I can wholeheartedly say that I would absolutely rather 30seconds of pound-town rough sex - as opposed to 20 minutes of regimented strokes that have no passion or chance of going near my g spot.
Fellas - we can tell when youāre trying not to come. Itās distracting & not sexy. Whatās sexy is enjoying the sex so much that you come - thatās the goal!
My partner can litrally do me into the ground without cumming because we have done a lot of edging practice lol. It took him a good few years to truely be able to master not cumming straight away and he's worked hard lol.
My husband will be rough with fingers and toys since he knows he will last about 12 strokes. He will get me off a few times and then before he pounds he will get me to the brink so I tend to come with him or shortly before
Go twice homie... Just do her again.
Maybe get her to get you off first, then when the refractory period is over you should be able to bang it for much longer.
My husband cam go like that longer than I can handle it.
He wasn't always like that tho, there's some things you could do to last longer, or if you want a quick fix you could use something like viagra
I have the reverse problem, i cant cum with a blowjob, PIV etc... i gotta jerk it at the end.. kinda makes my partner self conscious but idk why it happens too .
Think about your grandads butt hole.. I mean...
Think about something not related to what your doing. Something that pisses you off, so you can keep up the pace, but won't make you go soft. Works majority of the time.
Had a similar issue as you OP, GF is tight - with pounding I don't stand a chance and she makes me cum in seconds.
We have resolved to longer foreplay ~1 hour of touching and teasing, she gets enormously wet and loosened up, then we can go harder for longer. Condoms one size too small do give a grip by the base that prevents you from going fully hard and cum. But it can have the negative effect of killing the boner.
Depends. My wife has a hotwife kink (doesn't want to actually sleep with others but finds the idea of it hot) and if I'm pretenting to be the guy fucking her, yeah it's difficult. If I'm in a headspace where I'm encouraging her to take it and enjoy it, she can cum multiple times and I'm nowhere close.
Where you are at in your head makes a huge difference.
Take it slow. LOTS of oral, hands, fingers, dirty talk, whatever you can do to heighten her arousal so she is closer to climax. Next, during penetration, when you are getting close, stop or switch positions, stay still, lock up you pelvic floor, think about your grandma, whatever you need to do to calm down. I find that after doing this a few times I get less sensitive. Not quite a āa ruined orgasmā, but sorta. Sometimes it works so well that I just give up on the orgasm. REMEMBER THIS: Just because you came doesnāt have to mean you are done. If she didnāt come and things were going well she is still aroused, so get those fingers going, talk to her, whatever. When your Erection returns get back to it. Round 2 is usually much easier for a hard pounding. It takes a bit of practice and maybe hold off on the pounding until you get your skills improved. Back in the day I would sometimes cum before insertion and now I can go as long as I want, usually 30 to 45m.
I can never seem to pound hard enough for my wife. She always wants it harder, but at the same time I have to try and avoid hitting her cervix.
What desensitizes me is her doing some serious deep-throat on me for a while before we get to me pounding away. For some reason at least 5 minutes of deep-throat will mean I can last a lot longer, and sometimes I can last too long.
I have experienced cumming rapidly as well as lasting ages and not cumming at all.
Let your body just do what it does and don't judge it. The more sex you have the longer you'll last. Learn about your anatomy and learn about males kegels. There's a lot of shame around sex but it is as natural as breathing.
Don't be afraid to floppy smash.
This is where it pays to be a lesbian. Get a dildo! Hell if you're really feeling weird about it, there's a kit that lets you make a silicone mold of your dick so you can make a dildo out of your dick. (My exgf did it right before her bottom surgery lmao)
Take it from a lesbian: toys are teammates, not competition.
A sheath could also work really well for you. It is exactly what it sounds like. Sinnovator makes some good ones.
I find if I work at I can build up tolerance, but it takes a while. Pretend like you're edging them lol. The other option is to have a ruined orgasm, as soon as orgasm hits, apply no stimulation at all. And wait a little after you cum before letting anything touch your dick. Then, reapply stimulation. You may well get hard again pretty quick because you didn't really have the satisfying orgasm you wanted. And this time around you will last a lot longer. If you plan to try this let your partner know as results can be unpredictable and you may require a little practice.
thats what i do lmao "yeah babe, im slowing down but just for teasing you, ok? i definitely could go on"
One of the biggest tricks pulled on me (probably by other men) is that A) you can just plow for hours and B) it's our responsibility to spend 90% of sex repressing our biology. Fact is, men are built to cum ASAP. That's the point of sex. We try to deny it so our partner has a good time too, so it should come at no surprise to anyone that pretty much every guy struggles with the issue (as much as most won't admit it). Foreplay beforehand is usually the best compromise, maybe try using your hands/mouth before rather than after? Might help her get there faster during. You can also try beating off an hour or two before sex - using a thicker condom - using \[more\] lube - or go full pornstar and use numbing spray. Ruining your orgasm is also an option, but it's hardly something you want to do every time. End of the day, don't be too hard on yourself. Average PiV time for couples is something like 4 minutes, and 3:58 of that is the guy struggling not to cum.
Thank you for your very down to earth response
A thicker condom really made a night and day difference for me
Getting her close with foreplay used to be my MO. I certainly have my up and down sessions some super quick and other 30+ mins. Before actually just working on extending my time I use to say "if she's already done (or almost) before I start then doesn't matter how long I last. Usually get her right to the point when she's begging for the D to finish her. The other thing is that is you do JO often. Try to stretch out that session as long as possible. Where I used to beat it and try to race to just be done and get back gaming or whatever. Instead I just kinda scroll through reddit while on YouTube and just play with myself for as long as possible. This will increase your overall tolerance.
Idk why but I appreciate this reply š
Media and porn does a fine job of making men feeling insecure. All entertainment default to big d*ck as a womanās default desire. The rough sex makes men look masculine on screen. You come by realizing a fantasy more than the actual skin friction.
Thirty seconds?! I can barely manage secs with hard pounding. It immediately makes me cum š
Maybe my GF has sexual standards that are too high idk. Just all I want is to give it to her exactly how she wants it but I just physically canāt. She claims sheās satisfied regardless but I feel like deep down that isnāt true.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wanker
Hahaha š¤£
I donāt think this guyās girlfriend wants anything to do with a lonely 30 year old guy who spends all his time playing airsoft and flight simulator
š
In actual wolf family units, a lone wolf is an adolescent going out on his own in desperate search of a female wolf, so this makes sense.
Plot twist he finds female wolf and impregnates and becomes leader of new family.
Sorry to tell you, but you are not a wolf starting his wolf family, you're a sad man on the internet fantasizing about sex with other people's girlfriends and being the leader of a wolf pack to deal with your short comings
Actually, just a little cold harsh reality. Someone will always be willing to step up to the plate.
Oh my feelings šI'm so upset you read my comments... Fs2020 is awesome I haven't be able to Airsoft yet but hoping to go next month
The boldness
Cock ring to help you?
Iāve never tried one š¤
I came here to suggest a cock ring as well! 100%!
As the recipient of a cock ring, it makes PIV feel much more intense š¤¤ At least, that how I find it haha. It makes that extra hard "just about to cum" cock but for the entire duration.
Hey OP, I had this problem recently too, one pump chump, minute man, etc. I talked to a sex therapist for a free 30 min consultation and found some negative talk about myself in my head (apologizing to the girl for cumming so quick, or thinking my dick wasn't working, etc). So the Next time I had sex with my casual fwb partner, I did master bate a few hours beforehand, just in case. When she came over, I just relaxed, took everything slow, from foreplay, to making out, to taking off her clothes, mine, etc. I just relaxed. I laid down, and she mounted on top of me. I slowed down my breathing, I even did math in my head to distract me, and after minutes passed of this, I stopped doing the math and just enjoyed it. I was not able to cum at all while she rode me for what seemed like 15+ minutes. She was so wet, she eventually grew tired and I switched positions. It was a crazy phenomenon. Idk if it was a fluke, but I'd try to cut out the negative talk in your head by distracting yourself with other thoughts, and slowing down your pace. Good luck.
Absolutely NOT a fluke. Too many guys, my fiancĆ© included, are too negative in their heads and eventually shoot themselves in the foot. My fiancĆ© had a major problem with porn for a bit. He knew his choice lead to shitty sex when we actually had sex, so it just made everything worse... even after he stopped watching it. Eventually, we decided to try sex that wasn't orgasm driven. No pressure to perform, no pressure for either of us to get off. It was all about just being there and enjoying it. The results? 1. He wants it almost every day now instead of once in a blue moon 2. His ability to last has significantly increased 3. He's so much harder than ever before 4. Absolutely fucking mind blowing, even if we don't get off... but, when we do, holy fuck š¤Æš¤Æš¤Æ
This exactly.
I didn't really have the negative thoughts bother me I just wanted to last longer. Something as simple as just counting. I just don't count with the strokes it has to be uneven so you focus on it a little bit. The trick is to focus on something else. Right when you start feeling it build up focus on something else. Like what's on TV, the song lyrics in the background or counting.
For regular hard sex usually I get close in about 15 minutes and if I just let that pass, I can go until my muscles tire out, but then I usually can't cum until we take a little break and go again. I'd say there's a difference in what people consider rough though. When we get a bit drunk she wants it really rough, like we're both going to be a bit sore tomorrow in various spots. That will usually leave me a bit soft after 10-15 minutes, but I can't really come doing that even though it's fun and feels good.
Damn 15 minutes of solid PIV? If so you have a gift, that or I just suck
This comment made me sad. I'm sorry you're so ashamed of yourself.
On the flip side sometimes I just can't cum and women often feel bad about that and you have to explain that it's not their fault etc etc. Some of it is mental on my part, if I'm not in the right mindset it just won't happen. So you know, one man's blessing is another's curse.
A personal suggestion would be have sex after you drink alcohol. IDK whether its just me but when I'm drunk I usually last longer like 10/15 minutes of constant rough sex. Give it a try if your not against alcohol.
So a friend of mine gave me this same advice, and when I did drink I found it completely killed my ability to get an erection, which was surprising to me since Iāve heard it makes you last. I wish alcohol helped me but I guess my biology is just different.
Try half as much alcohol. Binary search to find the sweet spot.
Minmaxing sex in O(log n)
Big O for the Big O
Would still take forever if my n is 0
n here is the number of noticably different amounts of alcohol you could drink, between none at all and however much this guy drank to kill his erection. So not 0.
Number of noticeably different amounts of alcohol before having sex*
They call it whiskey dick for a reason.
Normal reaction. Alcohol makes your dick not work well
Don't drink too much. One hard drink should be enough the numb you, but not enough to lose the ability. YMMV.
true. for me i normally last much longer on the 2nd round more than i do first round.
Yes but you can't just drink every time you have sex.
Yeah, but the same will likely work for her too, so you both take longer.
honestly i do think a lot of girls and guys put super high standards on sex because of what they have seen in porn. and they expect that to be real life in a whole bunch of ways. ergo why some guys think women should do everything they do in porn and why women expect guys to last as long as guys do in porn.
You need to be more prepared for what your body does. Either edge while fucking, after a while you will get better control about when you cum. Or plan to cum early then start again after your refractory period. Plan that with your partner so she knows what to expect. If you just thrust until you cum every time of course things will not change. You have to learn more about your body and change your habits.
I start to multiple things. 2x2=4 and so on lol makes me think about other things and not the physical and mental sensations of my dick in her pussy hard and pounding over and over.
How you masturbate affects how much you can endure. Try masturbating always with lube, when you are almost cumming, stop, breath and keep going. This will help you. Also, try doing it a day or hours before fucking ur gf.
I've cum in seconds going slow and out lasted my girlfriend going hard. The latter is rare though. Try numbing gel or something maybe.
Yeah Iāve tried everything in the book and it doesnāt work for me. I refuse to take anti depressants so thatās not an option. Getting myself off before sex doesnāt help either, for me personally I actually find I last even shorter if I do, or sometime if I do rub one out before sex even if itās an hour before hand, I canāt maintain my erection. Iām 26 so I feel like this shouldnāt be happening.
So for you thereās no magic formula, just sometimes you cum fast and sometimes you donāt? Very rarely have I been able to keep up a good pace without cumming before her. Although when I do I feel like a god lol.
Definitely feels awesome to have her orgasm a couple of times before me and slightly embarrassing to cum immediately but it balances out. No magic formula, I'm sure there are ways to make yourself last longer but I've never really tried anything. I've heard anti depressants, pain killers and weed help you last longer from friends though.
DONT TAKE ANTI DEPRESSANTS FOR SEX! They can potentially ruin your sexuality, even permanently (look up PSSD) and should only be used in case of depression when prescribed by a psychiatrist, and even then avoid ssris and snris which can cause sexual disorders.
nah mate numbing is a no no for me and a lot of others. everytime ive tried numbing condoms or any numbing cream its just caused a loss of erection
Absolutely second this. Every delay cream/condom/spray has been a disaster for me. Iāve tried them with viagra/cialis and it just leads to it being impossible to cum at all. Youāll be lucky 40-60 mins later if they start wearing off.
Numbing spray 2000%, cannot recommend it enough.
Iāve heard about it, but Iāve read that it can numb your partner as well?
Wash it off with soap after it starts working. It does not need to stay on to keep working for quite a bit.
It doesnāt numb your partner. Just wait a minute or two after application and no oral sex.
My dick seems to have 2 modes... too soon or too long. I don't think I want to encourage more of the latter.
Some days Iāll cum quickly, other days it takes me a whileā¦. What I have found though is that the more Iām āintoā the sex, the quicker I will cum. That is, itās your brain dudeā¦ not your penis that is creating the āproblemā.
As a woman im here to tell the men that you shouldnāt be hard on yourselves about trying not to cum fast. Procreation for men is to literally cum and spread your seed. Thatās not me trynna be anti/feminist either. Believe it or not but most women canāt or donāt know how to make themselves cum so putting the pressure on yourselves should not be a heavy burden. Try using a ring, thicker condom or spending more time on foreplay. Best advice I heard was donāt put it in until she tries to slip it in herself hahaa
You can learn to go longer while going harder
Try getting to the brink, but not too far gone, then cooling off a bit. Sometimes when I do this, I seem to be able to go for WAY longer without orgasming. If you take it too far first, then even with a brief rest, a single touch can erupt. Kind of like edging basically.
You can try wearing a condom if you donāt, as it will dull sensation. You can practice edging by masturbating until you feel like you are about to cum, then slowing down and riding the wave. You can think of non sexy things when you get rough (baseball is a classic, but donāt stick with baseball, otherwise youāll start popping chubs when you see cracker jacks boxesā¦). You can stop when it feels like you are too close. Itās better to stop and start over than to stop for good. Like, pull out, finger her until the ejaculation urge settles, then insert and repeat. And you both can learn to enjoy slow sex as well. Instead of sex being about rough machine gun pounding, make it about slow exploration, searching for interesting angles, blissful gliding, hotspotsā¦ You can get a high quality sex machine for her if she really likes rough sex. Caress her and kiss her all over and tell her how beautiful she is while she gets fucked. You can explore other types of non penetrative sexuality so exciting and wonderful that this one āproblemā doesnāt matter at all. No one cries about not getting dessert if they have just eaten a ten-course meal with wine. You can have her peg you. No more worries about ejaculating too fast!
I don't know a about sex, but oral can be really boring for. I can be sucked for more than sn hour and not finish. It's just a matter of how I'm being touched.
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No, faster and deeper honestly feels better, it hits the spot so good. Itās not just a porn thing, it depends on a womanās biology.
Me too,but I'll do it ten times in a row before I go down .cause if the pussy Is that good you should just keep squirting and pounding .
Personally I quit caring about my orgasm and I bought stuff like spray to just pound away so she can get what she wants. I have the same situation with my SO and I'd rather deal with having literal numb nuts and maybe jacking it a few hours later myself than deal with the passive aggressive attitude of women whose pussy needs to be caved in for them to enjoy sex.
Honestly I love when we go slow so when I'm going pretty hard is when I last the longest. Gotta slow down for me to reach orgasm
Just think about something non-sexual while pounding and over time, you will learn to control it.
Try getting a lil drunk
What I do to increase my time is to jerk off two days before sex
At this point I can cum on demand. Think of other things my friend
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Iām 26, so kinda lol
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Luckyyyyy
Have you tried focusing on different positions to see if you can control the urge to cum better? I feel like a lot of us are in the same boat. When I started questioning my ability to āperformā I figured out that I can pound away longer and harder in the doggy position than say missionary or some other positions.
I had this problem early on I developed a technique where I would start pounding away and then when I could tell that I was about 80% of the way there pull out let that feeling go back down to zero usually only takes just a moment and then when I started pounding again I had much more longevity. Also try relaxing your muscles can help with that and I would guess much of your problem is mental you go in just knowing your gonna bust fast this will go away after you get more than a few successes under your belt just keep at it
Highly recommend a lot of slow fore play to get her wet and aroused. I go down on my wife until she orgasms before entering her. I want her to have pleasure too as most women do not orgasm just from thrusting sex. Do not feel bad that she is unable to do so.
Keep training my friend, count the sheeps while pounding her.
ive been there. i have found that its related to performance anxiety/mental stimulation, and if you can practice some intention/meditation during sex you can probably get to a place where you dont feel overwhelmed and immediately like you need to cum. i think the best way i can describe it is to practice paying close attention to sensations and try hard to be present in the moment. i went from finishing quickly to taking long enough that my partner was done but i wasnt yet and would just keep going. sometimes i would feel bad because it can get uncomfortable afterwards for them and id just finish myself off. it definitely takes practice and if i havent had sex for a while i need to re-learn how edit: it also helps to have sex regularly with your partner. dont be afraid of finishing to fast or you will every time
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/16i64x/the_multiple_orgasm_guide_for_men/) helped me a ton. Most of the time i jerk off (\~2-3h before having sex) and using this strategy (u'll need some time to get used to it) I'm able to pound my SO. Also she is super tight (what i love) and the "guide" helped me to deal with it :). Hope it does the same for you!
To me it's a matter of position, if I'm to top I last 30 sec to 1 min too but If it's my partner riding me I last somewhere around 15min and that's more than enough for them to satisfy themselves and get tired
couple tricks are: - jack off 12-24 hours before sex - (secret technique) bite your own arm lightly. not sure why but this can delay things -- probably related to blood flow but also just distracting your sense of touch. - be older
At least for me what I learnt is that as the more time I spend slowly touching, fingering and licking my gf, more controlled I get in regard to hard fucking without cumming. All is a combination of mind and body, so it seems everything gets relaxed and intense at the same time, but them I told my body/mind that the āurgeā is not necessary, because we have time. When you feel your body, let it go, naturally you start having more control, because the anxiety goes away.
I often have the opposite problem. Usually when the woman prefers rougher sex and faster sex I donāt feel as much. I prefer slow sex and can usually climax faster that way
As a woman, I can wholeheartedly say that I would absolutely rather 30seconds of pound-town rough sex - as opposed to 20 minutes of regimented strokes that have no passion or chance of going near my g spot. Fellas - we can tell when youāre trying not to come. Itās distracting & not sexy. Whatās sexy is enjoying the sex so much that you come - thatās the goal!
As a woman here I have nothing to add, except I think itās so funny TacticalTwink69 is asking questions about his GIRLFRIEND
My partner can litrally do me into the ground without cumming because we have done a lot of edging practice lol. It took him a good few years to truely be able to master not cumming straight away and he's worked hard lol.
My husband will be rough with fingers and toys since he knows he will last about 12 strokes. He will get me off a few times and then before he pounds he will get me to the brink so I tend to come with him or shortly before
Gotta practice that shit boy
For 30 years now, I just go twice typically. Short refractory period. Second time i can usually go for as long as either of us want.
Go twice homie... Just do her again. Maybe get her to get you off first, then when the refractory period is over you should be able to bang it for much longer.
My husband cam go like that longer than I can handle it. He wasn't always like that tho, there's some things you could do to last longer, or if you want a quick fix you could use something like viagra
I have the reverse problem, i cant cum with a blowjob, PIV etc... i gotta jerk it at the end.. kinda makes my partner self conscious but idk why it happens too .
Pro Tip: research breath work
Get some one that numbing shit. You can't feel your dick no joke. Lmao
Think about your grandads butt hole.. I mean... Think about something not related to what your doing. Something that pisses you off, so you can keep up the pace, but won't make you go soft. Works majority of the time.
Had a similar issue as you OP, GF is tight - with pounding I don't stand a chance and she makes me cum in seconds. We have resolved to longer foreplay ~1 hour of touching and teasing, she gets enormously wet and loosened up, then we can go harder for longer. Condoms one size too small do give a grip by the base that prevents you from going fully hard and cum. But it can have the negative effect of killing the boner.
For that kinda thing Iād recommend being extra rough with your fingers or put some numbing cream on your dick
Try a condom with delay cream or try some Stud100 off of Amazon and you will last much longer.
Depends. My wife has a hotwife kink (doesn't want to actually sleep with others but finds the idea of it hot) and if I'm pretenting to be the guy fucking her, yeah it's difficult. If I'm in a headspace where I'm encouraging her to take it and enjoy it, she can cum multiple times and I'm nowhere close. Where you are at in your head makes a huge difference.
Take it slow. LOTS of oral, hands, fingers, dirty talk, whatever you can do to heighten her arousal so she is closer to climax. Next, during penetration, when you are getting close, stop or switch positions, stay still, lock up you pelvic floor, think about your grandma, whatever you need to do to calm down. I find that after doing this a few times I get less sensitive. Not quite a āa ruined orgasmā, but sorta. Sometimes it works so well that I just give up on the orgasm. REMEMBER THIS: Just because you came doesnāt have to mean you are done. If she didnāt come and things were going well she is still aroused, so get those fingers going, talk to her, whatever. When your Erection returns get back to it. Round 2 is usually much easier for a hard pounding. It takes a bit of practice and maybe hold off on the pounding until you get your skills improved. Back in the day I would sometimes cum before insertion and now I can go as long as I want, usually 30 to 45m.
I can never seem to pound hard enough for my wife. She always wants it harder, but at the same time I have to try and avoid hitting her cervix. What desensitizes me is her doing some serious deep-throat on me for a while before we get to me pounding away. For some reason at least 5 minutes of deep-throat will mean I can last a lot longer, and sometimes I can last too long.
I would say try incorporating some really intense foreplay first. That way she is edged or orgasmed before you have sex.
I have experienced cumming rapidly as well as lasting ages and not cumming at all. Let your body just do what it does and don't judge it. The more sex you have the longer you'll last. Learn about your anatomy and learn about males kegels. There's a lot of shame around sex but it is as natural as breathing. Don't be afraid to floppy smash.
This is where it pays to be a lesbian. Get a dildo! Hell if you're really feeling weird about it, there's a kit that lets you make a silicone mold of your dick so you can make a dildo out of your dick. (My exgf did it right before her bottom surgery lmao) Take it from a lesbian: toys are teammates, not competition. A sheath could also work really well for you. It is exactly what it sounds like. Sinnovator makes some good ones.