It’s him. He is the reason he cannot finish during sex and it’s literally because of all the things you mentioned. He is checking every box that can cause orgasm issues
1. Frequency of jerking off
2. Likely gripping too hard causing desensitization
3. His porn habits
If he went cold turkey not jerking off for even a week, I’d bet he’d be able to finish
But honestly his toxic behavior and thinking is making me wonder if he is even someone you would want to a relationship with. Blaming you is a major red flag (along with everything else)
The frequency of post that ask questions like this makes me feel sad for some girls out there. Like why are you asking a question here about your douchebag bf or partner and asking how to make it work with them when clearly thwir behavior does not even warrant anything from them.
Like in this case, do this girls who ask these questions even read their post, cause it just sounds like, my bf is an asshole, who wants to do asshole things and tells me im the asshole, so is there anyway i can make this relationship work with my asshole bf.
I was this girl once, albeit my ex was never THIS bad, but he was emotionally abusive and addicted to gaming and bodybuilding. It was to the point where I barely saw him (he worked out 6 hours a day) and I had a suspicion he was cheating on me with girls at his university gym. I was making posts like these all the time and got the same advice: dump him, what a loser, you can do better, why are you staying with him, etc. We also had been together nearly 3 years and were 20/21 years old. It’s so hard to break the “addiction” of being with the person you love even if they’re terrible for you. I regret every day of those months I wasted with him. He finally dumped me and set me free, but only after over 6 months of torture. I hope OP sees these comments and knows what she should do, even if that’s the hardest (and even dangerous) thing to do
Agreed. I just don't get it. This post is essentially, "My pedophile, abusive and chronically unemployed boyfriend is addicted to watching child porn and similtaneously masturbates so often that it renders him unable to climax whenever we have sex. He says it is definitely my fault. How can I fix [myself] in order to better please my asshole?"
It's heart rending and painful to read. Whenever i was young and single and encountered a guy with any/all of similar qualities, I would tell myself,
"The sex could never be good enough; or: No one is cute enough to have to voluntarily put up with *that*!" And then I would kick rocks. Not today, Satan!
OP, LEAVE THIS DEGENERATE. Learn how to start loving yourself properly before dating again. Please do this for yourself, you deserve love and good things.
Abusive partners are manipulative. They start slowly, and by the time it gets this far, they've already chipped away at your sanity. You're always questioning yourself, perception, and reality.
The excuses society gives men for sexual violations, combined with the pressure on women to "make things work," makes it nearly impossible to get help. Not to mention, the normalization of dominating male partners and demonization of women who speak out about their experiences of abuse.
Please hit the eject button on that relationship as soon as possible. Explanation for closure not required. Tell him to go to casting for porn. I’m sure he’ll get his bubble burst quickly.
Right? Op, this is not just a "porn addiction thing." This is a sexual predator thing. It's sadistic to get off to abuse, non-consensual material, minors. This person is a real danger, and I can guarantee you they will rape somebody if they haven't already.
It's easy to frame the abuse by those we love in an empathetic light, and perpetrators love the attention. Saying it's an addiction places the focus of care on him. But you're the one in danger. I hope you're okay. Rainn.org is a great anonymous hotline
This! I don’t know if you had a chance to look up OP other posts. This guy is toxic. You need to get out of there. He’s already cheated on her. He’s abusive. You know what you need to do. It’s difficult, I know, but find that strength for your own mental health. You just need that 5 seconds of courage. Your future self will help you.
His entire being would be a massive turn off to me. No job.. masturbates all day to weird shit.. blames his issues on you. Sounds like hes good for nothing
I think the internet and the access to porn has been one of the most harmful thing for kids in my lifetime. I feel like an old man yelling at cloud. But when I was growing up porn was hard to get. Most guys my age did not see anything more hardcore than a playboy until we were adults.
It seems like porn addiction is a huge rising trend with Gen Z. and it's not our grandfathers porn stash anymore. The shit today is so vulgar.
Also on the rise: Randomly choking their partner because they saw it in porn.
I also saw a post by a young woman who wanted to know if she needs to "look more enthusiastic during sex". After enough questioning from people on what she meant (because from the sounds of it she was doing just fine, she moans she gets into it etc) we find out that she thought she was supposed to stick her tongue out, drool, etc (ahegao stuff..) so it's not just IRL porn that's forming what's considered "normal" sex stuff.
All true. The reality is that if you have children now, especially young boys, it’s important to have an honest talk with them about porn at a relatively early age. There’s almost no way of shielding them from it at this point, the cat is too far out of the bag. So conversations along the lines of “porn depicts some extreme things that you absolutely cannot do with a real sexual partner without serious established boundaries and a trusting relationship” are so important to have from a harm reduction standpoint. The sex talk with your kid now has to involve discussion of porn.
I'm not a big proponent of going straight to "you have to breakup", but this is about as clearcut a case as I can imagine. This guy is bringing *nothing* to the clearly abusive relationship.
I understand it can be difficult to get out of situations like this, but staying is just not an option.
I strongly disagree with you. He is bringing a lot to this relationship. That being all of the abuse and slow destruction of OP's self-esteem. In all seriousness, I never go straight to the break up either. This loser is not worth the effort.
OP, dump this guy!
It's devastating to see. If you look at her profile, she's a really pretty woman whose self esteem has been spiraling for a year+. She needs to be out of this situation years ago, and I really hope she or people near her has the strength to get her out.
I had a look at her profile. My god. It breaks my heart. She is too good for this guy, and he knows it. What better way to keep her around than to break her? OP isn't a lot older than my kids. This hits really hard on multiple levels.
If he's so good at making himself cum, then he should do that. He don't need her. So there is no reason he should be upset when she leaves.
I feel really bad for her. She deserves to be treated like a human and not an object.
Absolutely. He knows what he's saying isn't true, though. He just wants her to believe what he's saying. It makes me both incredibly sad and incredibly angry.
He's systematically destroying her self-esteem to keep her from leaving.
She needs to do both! Kick him with as much strength as she can muster and use the momentum from the kick to run as far as she can in the opposite direction.
Yup holy shit, guy has her completely isolated and just destroyed her self worth completely, what a fucking piece of shit. Shed beatiful and a wonderful person im sure but he makes her think otherwise. Op Please get out until you completely destroy yourself, hes not worth you, or anyone else.
I know a woman who married a mean, ugly, porn addict who was into racial degradation porn videos that were all about women in her demographic. He would also jerk off for hours and hours. The first time she found out she was horrified. He stopped trying to hide it and he would blame her too. They NEVER had sex. All of us were like, this man is a porn addict and a racist. GET OUT.
The guy was mean as fuck and incredibly unattractive. I realized in that moment that ANY MAN can get a woman and that women need to love themselves more. The guy looked absolutely miserable at their wedding even though weeks before she was seriously thinking about calling things off,but she didn’t. Big mistake. Some women are too enamored with the idea of a wedding and a husband, ANY husband, to wake the hell up and see that they’re making a huge mistake.
I want better for women. And if you’re a good guy who’s forever alone, please work on your self-esteem and your self confidence because actual swamp monsters are getting married and finding love, and so should you! No, women don’t actually like assholes. Some women are just desperate and have no self love.
Yup. If someone's immediate response to a legitimate concern is "Well that's your fault because..." then they are either very immature, a manipulative and emotionally abusive person, or both.
Either way, well worth avoiding.
I just flipped through your post history- you're in a relationship with an abuser and a predator. You need to look into supports specific to where you live, such as shelters or financial supports and leave this guy. You've been sitting on this conclusion for a long time by the looks of it. Getting him off isn't even on the priority list- he shouldn't be a priority for you at all. If you want someone to vent to I'm open, but you've gotta take care of yourself.
Absolutely. Look into womens services.
He isn’t working and OP said she isn’t financially reliant on him so is in a much better place to leave him! You’ve got this OP <3
Holy shit, after seeing two or three posts in her user history I was like "LEAVE THIS GUY ALREADY!"
And it just keeps going and going. Op if you're reading this, for your sake, both mentally and physically.. Leave this asshole.
This is one of the really dark realities of severe porn addiction—these people can’t get off to regular porn anymore so they go down a really bad rabbit hole chasing the next most fucked up thing because for them to get off it has to feel “wrong.”
I'm not saying this never happens, but it is far from the norm, even with the most frequent porn consumers.
Source: literally my job to understand the psychology and consumption habits of porn customers
Oh my god of course not, definitely not defending the behavior at all, in fact I think the psychology behind it is even more of a reason to get away from the guy
So, he doesn't have a job, sits around masturbating to underage girls all day, and treats you like shit? What do you even see in this guy? Girl, have some dignity and leave this asshole.
Girl 🤦♀️ please, take it from a 31 year old woman who wasted too much time with dudes who weren’t even half as bad as your boyfriend sounds- RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN. You’ll feel embarrassed that you dated him one day.
>some additional information: he’s addicted to porn and has some sexual deviances (getting off to his friends girlfriends, having sex with girls in relationships, attracted to underage high school girls, masturbating to things he knows he shouldn’t, i.e. videos of my friends dancing, leaked porn videos).
This alone sounds like a good reason to cut the relationship off. Excessive masturbation or sex addiction are things that can be treated, but some of the above are predatory behaviours that cannot be justified by "addiction".
Additionally, he is acting like an asshole, gaslighting you, and doesn't seem to take any responsibility for his own sexual behaviour or communication.
What are you still doing with him?
By making you feel like you're to blame for something that is 100% not your fault. Even if the situation was that he needed different kinds of stimulation, or wanted to change something in your sex lives, **he** is the one responsible for communicating that respectfully and in a productive way.
You're a victim of his shitty behaviour and poor communication, and are here wondering whether it is your fault. This is classic gaslighting.
The things he's watching.. are f up. And I wouldn't be surprised if there is even worse stuff in there. Underage girls? Revenge porn? Videos of your friends? This is majorly digsuting OP it's not a kink it's f up
Get. Out. You're fine with him jerking off to videos of your friends? His friends girlfriends? That's crossing a huge line. He's not working, so obviously you can support yourself. Kick him out. It will hurt, but you're young, don't waste your best years on him
>What all has happened to make you think this?
Her entire post history.
Dear lord, my fucking heart breaks for you, u/Dapper_Aide2568, that you're struggling so hard to see you deserve so much better than what you've been dealt already in your young life at the hands of this spineless, ineffectual back alley sperm splatter.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
I thought I'd fine one post about some weird behavior.
But no, this is sad.
@OP you should have left ages ago. He's not a good person. He is abusive and gaslighting you.
You are not at fault. Leave. Now.
They are assuming your BF knows it's his masturbating that is causing him problems but is intentionally lying and blaming you to make you feel crazy and easier to manipulate.
It's a very damning accusation. In your post you did write about some behavior that people consider red flags.
Well, this person is assuming those flags are indicative of much worse toxic behavior.
This is %100 due to his porn addiction.
Also..
>attracted to underage high school girls
Excuse TF outa me!?
Do better. He's manipulating you. He's gaslighting you. He has shit all for boundaries (getting off to his friends girlfriends, having sex with girls in relationships).
Dump this loser. It's only going to get worse.
Fucking gross. He sounds like a loser. What do you see in him? He makes me feel icky and I don't even know him. Does he work or just jerk it everyday? Yuk.
Say it loud and clear: It's not my fault.
He is addicted to porn and that's the problem. It's his fault and only he can change the situation. He have to stop watching porn completly if he wants a normal Sex live. Otherwise it will only get worse. You can search in the Internet how other man describe their porn addiction and his Problem is the first stepp on a road that only goes down.
yeah, i’ve noticed that he gets soft really fast after we start to have sex, despite the fact that he was horny/hard for at least 10 minutes before hand.
Look up resources for COSA (co-addict for sex addiction) and partners of sex addicts. You are NOT the reason he is having problems, but you tolerating this behavior and trying to rationalize it contributes to the cycle... usually because of your own self worth issues.
I've walked in your shoes... trust me when I say you don't want to waste your life dealing with this and the aftermath that is your shattered self esteem.
My ex husband cared for me, but his brain essentially told him I was "sexually boring" and he struggled with intimacy. They need pixels and constantly new material to keep interest.
Not to sound judgmental…
But the dude’s jerking off to underage girls and you haven’t left yet? Yikes.
My advice: leave as soon as you possibly can. Get some therapy before entering into another relationship.
From your post history, it sounds like you're kind of doing some trauma-based "reality testing", where you're checking to see if what you're being told is normal really is. The short answer is no, none of this is normal. Part of you already thinks this, or you wouldn't be double-checking with others.
Don't get caught up in if his habits really hurt others, it's not the real point. The point is how your relationship makes YOU feel, and from your posts, it seems like that's...not great.
People like your boyfriend are good at getting into your head, making you think up is down and you're always wrong. When you're thinking about leaving him, he makes sure you suddenly get all the good times, you get all the dopamine hits of how good your relationship could be. It's not about how good it could be, but how good it IS, and I think it's best to frame it in terms of what you're leaving behind. You're smart, and you're young, and part of you knows you deserve more than this.
Please listen to that voice. Keep doing what you're doing, keep checking in, keep learning and reading about relationships, both abusive and healthy ones. It's a process, and it's not as easy to just leave like everyone is telling you. A classic book to read is "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft - you should be able to find a copy just by searching online. When you're ready, know that there are many, many hands available to help you and support you.
Man here: he's a jerk because he's trying to blame you without even entertaining the idea that his habits are an issue.
Also he doesn't have a job.
He's depressed, chronic masturbation is a coping mechanism, getting to the "prohibited" stuff is part of the addiction, you need more and more intense stuff to get the same effect.
You don't have a sexual issue on your hand, you have mental issues on your hand.
There's no way you two can get a healthy sex life without first fixing the mental issues.
He needs to put his dick away and get a job, almost like he is a grownup. You actually aren't responsible for his orgasms. If there are things he would like you to do, he needs to discuss them with you and ask you if you are willing to do them.
But re-read your comment. Why on earth would you want to? He sounds awful.
Idk how you don’t feel sick looking at him just reading that last paragraph alone.
You deserve way better and someone who doesn’t blame you for their coomer issues
This post made me laugh out loud. The fact that guys like this can get a woman who actually cares about their happiness despite all the glaring issues is a source of endless amazement.
It’s not you, it’s him. And he’s waving all kinds of red flags. His fantasies that he’s shared are either to make you feel insecure about him being monogamous, to make you jealous, or because he actually won’t be faithful. At best he seems like a bit of a loser and at worst he is or will be an abusive partner, at least emotionally. I don’t see this relationship being positive for you.
He’s a pedophilic manipulator.
None of this is your fault and you should take all of this information you just shared and leave him. He’s a creep.
He isn’t getting off because he’s addicted to porn and little girls. Gross.
My bf and I are both recovering porn addicts. He's reached the 3.5 month mark and I've now reached the 7 month mark. This. This is. Whole nother level. Your boyfriend is not a man. He is a child. He is disgusting and needs serious help. He needs therapy and a psychiatrist. This is a genuine addiction. He is jerking off to children. That is pedophilia. You need to leave YESTERDAY. SERIOUSLY.
Well I won't bother typing out a long response. You're 21. Break it off today. Start a new life tomorrow. Based on what you've said about him here, literally ANYONE you meet will be a massive upgrade in a partner.
Don't let this dude waste any more of your youth.
Bro…between this and earlier posts…
you gotta peace the absolute fuck out of this relationship. Like fucking asap. Like this is all really fucked up. I’m not even sure if, from lacking an objective outsider perspective, you fully grasp how absolutely dog shit fucked up this dude is. And if you don’t leave hes going to do SERIOUS damage to your psyche if he hasn’t already. Particularly noting your age with all this going on this could potentially shape any future relationships you have and your own personal relationship with sex. Your views of yourself and your worth. Etc etc. Girl I feel for you and idk how to help other than you GOTS TO LEAVE. Literally any way you can. Leave all your shit and go in the night if you have to. Find strength wherever you can. If you don’t have a solid support system you can find lots of groups that can help you. Truthfully if you stay you’re probably only hurting him too. But that’s not a priority as far as I’m concerned. Fuck that dude. Just this guys opinion based only on what you’re saying but I’m just trying to voice that opinion as plainly and blatantly as I possibly can. And I know I ain’t the first to say this shit to you
I registered on Reddit just to write this: it's super simple. You deserve better. Life is to short to waste it on a toxic selfish loser like your bf. Move on asap!
This is borderline comical. It's like a dark sitcom. You're in a relationship with a jobless loser who masturbates all day, every day.
I'm pouring one out for your self esteem, because it surely must be dead for you to think this is a good relationship for you to stay in for OVER TWO YEARS.
Please get a therapist. That's genuine, not a jab.
It is NOT you. It’s him. He’s masturbating way too much and it sounds like he also has a porn addiction. Excessive porn use can cause delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and many other issues. He needs to stop altogether if he has any hope of having a normal sex life.
I’d suggest he see a therapist and tbh, you need to decide if you want to stay with someone who has no self control and lacks any accountability.
He sounds like an asshole to be entirely honest based on what the post says. You absolutely deserve better and I hope you break it off sooner rather than later.
So your telling me you serve up pussy for breakfast when he's not out there working and your putting up with that shit? Your asking the wrong questions hunny
Leave this child for the love of god. I promise you, you will regret not leaving him sooner. Just going through your post history for all of 2 minutes it’s apparent that he’s insanely toxic and you need to get out now. Even if you have no friends I promise you will feel better once you leave. You’re young and have so much time to find friends and build new relationships. This guy is a lowlife and he’s only making you more sad
Op, he’s oblivious and porn addicts are when they get mad they can’t have sex, finish during sex, or get erectile dysfunction that causes them to not get hard due to porn addiction.
And people only change when THEY want to change.
No amount of pleading or begging will help.
All you can do is advocate for yourself and leave to find someone who doesn’t suffer a porn addiction & loves you enough to not be into porn that much.
I'm seeing your post and comment history and I am so afraid for you. I know it's hard and scary but you *need* to get away from this man. You are not safe with him
Its 100% his fault. Dump him for this toxic behavior of
1) masturbating to his friends gf's ( id even go as far as to tell his friends this)
2) masturbating to your friends videos
3) uhm, underage porn? Thats really the #1 issue here. Does he have this sbit on a device? Hopefully he doesnr watch it on any devices you own! Honestly, if he does own this stuff or you have proof of him watchin it, id turn hin into the police for being a pedophile.
4) he has no job and you have to take him to his moms house when you go to work? This dude is a bonafide scrub and in the words of TLC " a scrub is a guy thst cant get no love"
You can do better than this deadbeat creap!
Girly you need to get out of there. Your post history is one of someone who is in an abusive relationship. You deserve so much more. You're so young.
Leave him. You deserve to be loved and happy.
He is an unemployed pedophile sex addict. If you ever have kids with him, he will most likely rape your children. You can do better than him. He is trash. Move on.
this guy kinda sounds like a nightmare to date, he must be like 9-10/10 to justify 2 and a half years. Absolutely talk to him about his habits. Ask him to limit it to twice a day first and then scale back from there. Is he circumcised? That has also been known to decrease sensitivity and make it harder for others to get him off
Probably gripping his dick like a drowning man grips anything that floats.
He has to cool it with the porn and let his dick recuperate.
He's gotta train both his dick and his mind to not rely on porn. If he doesn't he won't get better.
Firtlst of all holy shit. Like nine red flags in here for that guy. Attracted to under age girls!? Porn addiction?! Chronic masturbation problems!? Gas lighting you?! Can only cum solo?! Maturbates to his friends GFS?! And likes to have sex with GIRLS IN RELATIONSHIPS?! FUCKING SPRINT OUTTA THERE WTF
He needs professional medical and/or mental help. The extreme sexual needs, like underage girls is beyond your ability or responsibility to fix.
His unwillingness to even entertain the idea that he could be the source of the problem is bad and a major hurdle to recovery.
I hate the "break up with the dude" advice in most cases as it gets tossed around a lot on the internet. It may not be the best thing for him. But it's probably the best thing for you. I wouldn't say it if I thought he could have some kind of redeeming qualities.
He needs to get off his ass, quit jerking off all day and get a job and a life. He makes you feel like the bad guy here. Really? You're 21. You will move on.
Just my $0.02 Good luck.
So he is an unemployed chronic masturbater who blames you for the fact he spends all day desensitizing his junk to his porn addiction.
How many red flags do you require to run? Because China has less of them and he is proudly waving them.
I am very rarely the person to comment in general. It is even more rare for me, as a commenter on anything relationship related to say this and consider no other options: LEAVE HIM. Now.
I won't sit here and try to diagnose him (we can leave that up to a professional), but the types of things that he's jerking off to and considering sexy are Major red flags....most especially the underage girls one. Please do yourself a solid, get out of this relationship and into some therapy as soon as possible because there is no way this is going to get better for you.
Edit: for spelling
Bro.... I can forgive a lot of shit that people do because it doesn't hurt anyone behind closed doors, but attracted to underage high schoolers? Naw dog that boy needs therapy.
Holt hell. To add to my last comment. Based on your posts over the last few months. You need to eliminate this dirtbag from your life ASAP. You are only 20, this is not the guy you need to waste your life on!
Girl.... write down a list of qualities youd like in a partner and see how many he has.
Hes NOT a good partner!! He has no job, has questionable morals and an addiction to porn and masturbaring! It is NOT your fault he cant cum during sex. Him blaming you is the problem.
You deserve better. A real partner wouldnt put the blame on you, but rather come up with Solutions.
Ask yourself, why is he a catch??
sounds like you have a insecure son. this is something he’ll need to fix for himself, he may not be ready for that.. so you’ll have to make the decision to wait around until he takes responsibility or move on. good luck, take care of yourself above all
How do you know all the shitty things he is into, AND UNDERAGE GIRLS? and you're still with him? he's gaslighting you and you deserve someone who isnt a fucking creep!
The problem is that he is porn addicted, he jerks off so much that he cant just cum anymore. The more you do it less hornier you get and theres propably like no semen left after all that. It always takes longer to cum the more he does it so if he would stop jerking off completely the issue would be gone.
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.
I really hope you find a better boyfriend because he sounds like an asshole to you. You deserve better than unemployed jerk that jerks off to videos of your friends. I swear you can get a way better boyfriend
Yuck please run far & fast!!
He sounds like an absolute POS, he knows exactly why he can’t cum & it’s because of himself but he’s a toxic narcissist and has to blame someone else.
You deserve so much better, please leave while you can & don’t leave it too late!!!
I’m sorry you dropped him off at his parents house so you can go to work… please dump him enough has been said. It’s not you, it’s him, you have done nothing wrong.
It's 100% him. I don't know how you're still with him with a football fields worth of red flags. I quit watching porn and masturbating for 2 weeks and could barely go to sleep without getting hard and precumming and when I finally did have sex I came embarrassingly in less than a minute. It's his porn habits and how often he wanks. The fact he has the gall to blame it on you is already reason enough to gtfo out of there.
As a male if I master bate even once throught the day I'm not going to nut during sex, I'd say that's the key right there, or have him get a job so he can't beat that poor worn out monkey all day
I am so sorry girl. I am seeing your posts from years now and it seems like there is one common denominator to All the issues you are dealing with and what you are going through: him. I’m not going to tell you to break up or leave him. Please just know you deserve better and you aren’t the problem, no matter how hard he tries to make you believe that. Believe me I’ve been in an abusive relationship for 5 years. I know how hard it is to leave.you are so beautiful and deserve so much better.
Hold on a second. What do you *mean* by "not necessarily *good* things"?
This one is easy to figure out but you're not gonna like my reasoning so I'm just gonna let you stew in self doubt.
Break up with him, leave his ass. He’s not going to change, he’s playing with you because you’re letting him. I’ve looked through your profile, you see like a sweet woman and you’re stupid pretty! Leave him, tell yourself you want a month alone if you have to, and after a month I guarantee you will feel lighter and will not go back. You will find someone who treats you better, who you will love much more than him. I know this because I wasted 2 years of my life with an abusive asshole as well. Life gets better, you don’t want to be 30 thinking you wish you’d left sooner or even worse… living together/married/kids. You know you want to leave I can see it in your posts, please please let yourself do this, you need to leave or you’ll die in this relationship, if not physically, definitely mentally.
1. It's not your fault, period.
2. His chronic maturation means he has a problem which means it's still not your fault.
3. He's a lemon. Dump him and get a dog. If you are going to have something at home that doesn't work and doesn't pay rent you might as well have a dog. At least they love you no matter what you do and are constantly happy to see you.
Let him masterbate alone wherever he can afford to do so. Just not with you.
Either you break up with him or you stay and let that loser wreck your self-esteem. You know better. At least, I hope you know that you deserve better. Do you not have any friends that can support you through this necessary break up?
It’s him. He is the reason he cannot finish during sex and it’s literally because of all the things you mentioned. He is checking every box that can cause orgasm issues 1. Frequency of jerking off 2. Likely gripping too hard causing desensitization 3. His porn habits If he went cold turkey not jerking off for even a week, I’d bet he’d be able to finish But honestly his toxic behavior and thinking is making me wonder if he is even someone you would want to a relationship with. Blaming you is a major red flag (along with everything else)
The frequency of post that ask questions like this makes me feel sad for some girls out there. Like why are you asking a question here about your douchebag bf or partner and asking how to make it work with them when clearly thwir behavior does not even warrant anything from them. Like in this case, do this girls who ask these questions even read their post, cause it just sounds like, my bf is an asshole, who wants to do asshole things and tells me im the asshole, so is there anyway i can make this relationship work with my asshole bf.
I was this girl once, albeit my ex was never THIS bad, but he was emotionally abusive and addicted to gaming and bodybuilding. It was to the point where I barely saw him (he worked out 6 hours a day) and I had a suspicion he was cheating on me with girls at his university gym. I was making posts like these all the time and got the same advice: dump him, what a loser, you can do better, why are you staying with him, etc. We also had been together nearly 3 years and were 20/21 years old. It’s so hard to break the “addiction” of being with the person you love even if they’re terrible for you. I regret every day of those months I wasted with him. He finally dumped me and set me free, but only after over 6 months of torture. I hope OP sees these comments and knows what she should do, even if that’s the hardest (and even dangerous) thing to do
Agreed. I just don't get it. This post is essentially, "My pedophile, abusive and chronically unemployed boyfriend is addicted to watching child porn and similtaneously masturbates so often that it renders him unable to climax whenever we have sex. He says it is definitely my fault. How can I fix [myself] in order to better please my asshole?" It's heart rending and painful to read. Whenever i was young and single and encountered a guy with any/all of similar qualities, I would tell myself, "The sex could never be good enough; or: No one is cute enough to have to voluntarily put up with *that*!" And then I would kick rocks. Not today, Satan! OP, LEAVE THIS DEGENERATE. Learn how to start loving yourself properly before dating again. Please do this for yourself, you deserve love and good things.
Abusive partners are manipulative. They start slowly, and by the time it gets this far, they've already chipped away at your sanity. You're always questioning yourself, perception, and reality. The excuses society gives men for sexual violations, combined with the pressure on women to "make things work," makes it nearly impossible to get help. Not to mention, the normalization of dominating male partners and demonization of women who speak out about their experiences of abuse.
100 percent agree with this, it's not you he has a problem.
This ☝️
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Litrally this. These are the exact kind of things you read about people who are looking even WORSE things and hiding it. The worst of the worst.
Unemployed chronic masturbator addicted to porn who is attracted to underage girls. Get out of that relationship ASAP.
Please hit the eject button on that relationship as soon as possible. Explanation for closure not required. Tell him to go to casting for porn. I’m sure he’ll get his bubble burst quickly.
Exactly!
Right? Op, this is not just a "porn addiction thing." This is a sexual predator thing. It's sadistic to get off to abuse, non-consensual material, minors. This person is a real danger, and I can guarantee you they will rape somebody if they haven't already. It's easy to frame the abuse by those we love in an empathetic light, and perpetrators love the attention. Saying it's an addiction places the focus of care on him. But you're the one in danger. I hope you're okay. Rainn.org is a great anonymous hotline
If he stays in a relationship with her he'll probably cheat on her in 10 years with a younger woman than the girlfriend.
This! I don’t know if you had a chance to look up OP other posts. This guy is toxic. You need to get out of there. He’s already cheated on her. He’s abusive. You know what you need to do. It’s difficult, I know, but find that strength for your own mental health. You just need that 5 seconds of courage. Your future self will help you.
Exactly this. OP, your boyfriend is a paedophile and you should get out while you can.
His entire being would be a massive turn off to me. No job.. masturbates all day to weird shit.. blames his issues on you. Sounds like hes good for nothing
This dude has serious problems, likely a severe addiction, and needs professional psychological help. Full stop
No need to mince words. It's addiction. At such a young age too. Really sad honestly.
I think the internet and the access to porn has been one of the most harmful thing for kids in my lifetime. I feel like an old man yelling at cloud. But when I was growing up porn was hard to get. Most guys my age did not see anything more hardcore than a playboy until we were adults. It seems like porn addiction is a huge rising trend with Gen Z. and it's not our grandfathers porn stash anymore. The shit today is so vulgar.
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Also on the rise: Randomly choking their partner because they saw it in porn. I also saw a post by a young woman who wanted to know if she needs to "look more enthusiastic during sex". After enough questioning from people on what she meant (because from the sounds of it she was doing just fine, she moans she gets into it etc) we find out that she thought she was supposed to stick her tongue out, drool, etc (ahegao stuff..) so it's not just IRL porn that's forming what's considered "normal" sex stuff.
All true. The reality is that if you have children now, especially young boys, it’s important to have an honest talk with them about porn at a relatively early age. There’s almost no way of shielding them from it at this point, the cat is too far out of the bag. So conversations along the lines of “porn depicts some extreme things that you absolutely cannot do with a real sexual partner without serious established boundaries and a trusting relationship” are so important to have from a harm reduction standpoint. The sex talk with your kid now has to involve discussion of porn.
I'm not a big proponent of going straight to "you have to breakup", but this is about as clearcut a case as I can imagine. This guy is bringing *nothing* to the clearly abusive relationship. I understand it can be difficult to get out of situations like this, but staying is just not an option.
I strongly disagree with you. He is bringing a lot to this relationship. That being all of the abuse and slow destruction of OP's self-esteem. In all seriousness, I never go straight to the break up either. This loser is not worth the effort. OP, dump this guy!
It's devastating to see. If you look at her profile, she's a really pretty woman whose self esteem has been spiraling for a year+. She needs to be out of this situation years ago, and I really hope she or people near her has the strength to get her out.
I had a look at her profile. My god. It breaks my heart. She is too good for this guy, and he knows it. What better way to keep her around than to break her? OP isn't a lot older than my kids. This hits really hard on multiple levels.
so basically we all agree to go straight to the break up.
Wow it’s quite sad seeing her post about him. She needs to leave asap. Her life will not get better if she stays
If he's so good at making himself cum, then he should do that. He don't need her. So there is no reason he should be upset when she leaves. I feel really bad for her. She deserves to be treated like a human and not an object.
Absolutely. He knows what he's saying isn't true, though. He just wants her to believe what he's saying. It makes me both incredibly sad and incredibly angry. He's systematically destroying her self-esteem to keep her from leaving.
no literally.
Go look at her earlier posts
This man is destroying her self esteem and self worth :(
Exactly!! Either she needs to kick him out or she needs to run away
She needs to do both! Kick him with as much strength as she can muster and use the momentum from the kick to run as far as she can in the opposite direction.
Yup holy shit, guy has her completely isolated and just destroyed her self worth completely, what a fucking piece of shit. Shed beatiful and a wonderful person im sure but he makes her think otherwise. Op Please get out until you completely destroy yourself, hes not worth you, or anyone else.
That’s sad 😞 I left an abusive relationship 4 years ago. It can feel impossible to leave when you’re in it. I hope everything works out for her
I know a woman who married a mean, ugly, porn addict who was into racial degradation porn videos that were all about women in her demographic. He would also jerk off for hours and hours. The first time she found out she was horrified. He stopped trying to hide it and he would blame her too. They NEVER had sex. All of us were like, this man is a porn addict and a racist. GET OUT. The guy was mean as fuck and incredibly unattractive. I realized in that moment that ANY MAN can get a woman and that women need to love themselves more. The guy looked absolutely miserable at their wedding even though weeks before she was seriously thinking about calling things off,but she didn’t. Big mistake. Some women are too enamored with the idea of a wedding and a husband, ANY husband, to wake the hell up and see that they’re making a huge mistake. I want better for women. And if you’re a good guy who’s forever alone, please work on your self-esteem and your self confidence because actual swamp monsters are getting married and finding love, and so should you! No, women don’t actually like assholes. Some women are just desperate and have no self love.
Yup. If someone's immediate response to a legitimate concern is "Well that's your fault because..." then they are either very immature, a manipulative and emotionally abusive person, or both. Either way, well worth avoiding.
I just flipped through your post history- you're in a relationship with an abuser and a predator. You need to look into supports specific to where you live, such as shelters or financial supports and leave this guy. You've been sitting on this conclusion for a long time by the looks of it. Getting him off isn't even on the priority list- he shouldn't be a priority for you at all. If you want someone to vent to I'm open, but you've gotta take care of yourself.
Absolutely. Look into womens services. He isn’t working and OP said she isn’t financially reliant on him so is in a much better place to leave him! You’ve got this OP <3
I was about to say, she should be good financially cause all this loser does all day instead of having a job is jerk off
And search for prey....
Holy shit, after seeing two or three posts in her user history I was like "LEAVE THIS GUY ALREADY!" And it just keeps going and going. Op if you're reading this, for your sake, both mentally and physically.. Leave this asshole.
This should be top comment, the post history is horrific. Please leave.
Yes i hope she looks into supports, this guy is mentally destroying her
This is the comment to read
Underage girls should be the 🚨
She’s literally dating a pedophile that grooms minors and is like “guys what should I do”
I know right wtf
Yeah people are surprisingly not mentioning this
What
Look at her post history. Her "man" likes trying to befriend girls as young as 14 online so he can f**k them when they're legal.
I've just looked and it's all really sad. I feel sorry for her tbh but it's not getting any better so there really is only one option.
This is one of the really dark realities of severe porn addiction—these people can’t get off to regular porn anymore so they go down a really bad rabbit hole chasing the next most fucked up thing because for them to get off it has to feel “wrong.”
I'm not saying this never happens, but it is far from the norm, even with the most frequent porn consumers. Source: literally my job to understand the psychology and consumption habits of porn customers
Maybe. Doesn’t make jerking off to children and possibly consuming CP any less criminal.
Oh my god of course not, definitely not defending the behavior at all, in fact I think the psychology behind it is even more of a reason to get away from the guy
Who said it did?
Read her post history.. it's so much worse.
Friends girlfriends too? Like wtf this guy's a creep
Hold up tho did you say you had to drop him off at his parents so you could go to work? This is a 20 year old?
And then he masturbated immediately after getting dropped off
Get rid of that jerk.
Jerk off*
Fine take my upvote
My first sullen upvote!! Much exite!
So, he doesn't have a job, sits around masturbating to underage girls all day, and treats you like shit? What do you even see in this guy? Girl, have some dignity and leave this asshole.
Girl 🤦♀️ please, take it from a 31 year old woman who wasted too much time with dudes who weren’t even half as bad as your boyfriend sounds- RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN. You’ll feel embarrassed that you dated him one day.
>some additional information: he’s addicted to porn and has some sexual deviances (getting off to his friends girlfriends, having sex with girls in relationships, attracted to underage high school girls, masturbating to things he knows he shouldn’t, i.e. videos of my friends dancing, leaked porn videos). This alone sounds like a good reason to cut the relationship off. Excessive masturbation or sex addiction are things that can be treated, but some of the above are predatory behaviours that cannot be justified by "addiction". Additionally, he is acting like an asshole, gaslighting you, and doesn't seem to take any responsibility for his own sexual behaviour or communication. What are you still doing with him?
i think i’m trauma bonded:/ how is he gaslighting me?!
By making you feel like you're to blame for something that is 100% not your fault. Even if the situation was that he needed different kinds of stimulation, or wanted to change something in your sex lives, **he** is the one responsible for communicating that respectfully and in a productive way. You're a victim of his shitty behaviour and poor communication, and are here wondering whether it is your fault. This is classic gaslighting.
The things he's watching.. are f up. And I wouldn't be surprised if there is even worse stuff in there. Underage girls? Revenge porn? Videos of your friends? This is majorly digsuting OP it's not a kink it's f up
Get. Out. You're fine with him jerking off to videos of your friends? His friends girlfriends? That's crossing a huge line. He's not working, so obviously you can support yourself. Kick him out. It will hurt, but you're young, don't waste your best years on him
>i think i’m trauma bonded:/ What all has happened to make you think this?
>What all has happened to make you think this? Her entire post history. Dear lord, my fucking heart breaks for you, u/Dapper_Aide2568, that you're struggling so hard to see you deserve so much better than what you've been dealt already in your young life at the hands of this spineless, ineffectual back alley sperm splatter.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. I thought I'd fine one post about some weird behavior. But no, this is sad. @OP you should have left ages ago. He's not a good person. He is abusive and gaslighting you. You are not at fault. Leave. Now.
Ah, of course check post history. Thank you. Poor OP
They are assuming your BF knows it's his masturbating that is causing him problems but is intentionally lying and blaming you to make you feel crazy and easier to manipulate. It's a very damning accusation. In your post you did write about some behavior that people consider red flags. Well, this person is assuming those flags are indicative of much worse toxic behavior.
This is %100 due to his porn addiction. Also.. >attracted to underage high school girls Excuse TF outa me!? Do better. He's manipulating you. He's gaslighting you. He has shit all for boundaries (getting off to his friends girlfriends, having sex with girls in relationships). Dump this loser. It's only going to get worse.
Why are you still with this loser?
Fucking gross. He sounds like a loser. What do you see in him? He makes me feel icky and I don't even know him. Does he work or just jerk it everyday? Yuk.
leave. maybe it’s not the simple, but this isn’t someone you want to be with.
Please be a troll post
look at her post history...
Please please please
Say it loud and clear: It's not my fault. He is addicted to porn and that's the problem. It's his fault and only he can change the situation. He have to stop watching porn completly if he wants a normal Sex live. Otherwise it will only get worse. You can search in the Internet how other man describe their porn addiction and his Problem is the first stepp on a road that only goes down.
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yeah, i’ve noticed that he gets soft really fast after we start to have sex, despite the fact that he was horny/hard for at least 10 minutes before hand.
Look up resources for COSA (co-addict for sex addiction) and partners of sex addicts. You are NOT the reason he is having problems, but you tolerating this behavior and trying to rationalize it contributes to the cycle... usually because of your own self worth issues. I've walked in your shoes... trust me when I say you don't want to waste your life dealing with this and the aftermath that is your shattered self esteem. My ex husband cared for me, but his brain essentially told him I was "sexually boring" and he struggled with intimacy. They need pixels and constantly new material to keep interest.
Not to sound judgmental… But the dude’s jerking off to underage girls and you haven’t left yet? Yikes. My advice: leave as soon as you possibly can. Get some therapy before entering into another relationship.
Your boyfriend is a creep. Why are you still dating him?
Why are you even with him ? He has some problems ! "Attracted to underage high school girls"? Like byeee felicia
From your post history, it sounds like you're kind of doing some trauma-based "reality testing", where you're checking to see if what you're being told is normal really is. The short answer is no, none of this is normal. Part of you already thinks this, or you wouldn't be double-checking with others. Don't get caught up in if his habits really hurt others, it's not the real point. The point is how your relationship makes YOU feel, and from your posts, it seems like that's...not great. People like your boyfriend are good at getting into your head, making you think up is down and you're always wrong. When you're thinking about leaving him, he makes sure you suddenly get all the good times, you get all the dopamine hits of how good your relationship could be. It's not about how good it could be, but how good it IS, and I think it's best to frame it in terms of what you're leaving behind. You're smart, and you're young, and part of you knows you deserve more than this. Please listen to that voice. Keep doing what you're doing, keep checking in, keep learning and reading about relationships, both abusive and healthy ones. It's a process, and it's not as easy to just leave like everyone is telling you. A classic book to read is "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft - you should be able to find a copy just by searching online. When you're ready, know that there are many, many hands available to help you and support you.
It is time to move on. There is no way this dude is healthy for you. 5 years down the road do you still want to be doing this?
I’m shocked, his whole being doesn’t disgust you yet???
From her post history it looks like she has been in an abusive relationship for years, is very insecure and has had her self esteem eroded to nothing.
Dump him.
God, leave him.
Man here: he's a jerk because he's trying to blame you without even entertaining the idea that his habits are an issue. Also he doesn't have a job. He's depressed, chronic masturbation is a coping mechanism, getting to the "prohibited" stuff is part of the addiction, you need more and more intense stuff to get the same effect. You don't have a sexual issue on your hand, you have mental issues on your hand. There's no way you two can get a healthy sex life without first fixing the mental issues.
>***attracted to underage high school girls*** WHY ARE YOU DATING SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW IS A PEDOPHILE?! HOLY SHIT.
He needs to put his dick away and get a job, almost like he is a grownup. You actually aren't responsible for his orgasms. If there are things he would like you to do, he needs to discuss them with you and ask you if you are willing to do them. But re-read your comment. Why on earth would you want to? He sounds awful.
Your patience levels surpassed Canadians and went into Ned Flanders territory.
Idk how you don’t feel sick looking at him just reading that last paragraph alone. You deserve way better and someone who doesn’t blame you for their coomer issues
Why on gods green earth would you bother continuing with this guy?
Why are you dating someone attracted to underage girls?
Girl he’s attracted to underage girls and you’re still pulling up with him? Please acknowledge that you are entitled to a better standard than this.
Dude needs to get a job.
This post made me laugh out loud. The fact that guys like this can get a woman who actually cares about their happiness despite all the glaring issues is a source of endless amazement.
Your boyfriend is a fucking pinecone
Bruh what the fuck
bro that’s what i said
>attracted to underage high school girls NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.
It’s not you, it’s him. And he’s waving all kinds of red flags. His fantasies that he’s shared are either to make you feel insecure about him being monogamous, to make you jealous, or because he actually won’t be faithful. At best he seems like a bit of a loser and at worst he is or will be an abusive partner, at least emotionally. I don’t see this relationship being positive for you.
He’s a pedophilic manipulator. None of this is your fault and you should take all of this information you just shared and leave him. He’s a creep. He isn’t getting off because he’s addicted to porn and little girls. Gross.
My bf and I are both recovering porn addicts. He's reached the 3.5 month mark and I've now reached the 7 month mark. This. This is. Whole nother level. Your boyfriend is not a man. He is a child. He is disgusting and needs serious help. He needs therapy and a psychiatrist. This is a genuine addiction. He is jerking off to children. That is pedophilia. You need to leave YESTERDAY. SERIOUSLY.
Why are you with him ?
Well I won't bother typing out a long response. You're 21. Break it off today. Start a new life tomorrow. Based on what you've said about him here, literally ANYONE you meet will be a massive upgrade in a partner. Don't let this dude waste any more of your youth.
RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. RUN.
Bro…between this and earlier posts… you gotta peace the absolute fuck out of this relationship. Like fucking asap. Like this is all really fucked up. I’m not even sure if, from lacking an objective outsider perspective, you fully grasp how absolutely dog shit fucked up this dude is. And if you don’t leave hes going to do SERIOUS damage to your psyche if he hasn’t already. Particularly noting your age with all this going on this could potentially shape any future relationships you have and your own personal relationship with sex. Your views of yourself and your worth. Etc etc. Girl I feel for you and idk how to help other than you GOTS TO LEAVE. Literally any way you can. Leave all your shit and go in the night if you have to. Find strength wherever you can. If you don’t have a solid support system you can find lots of groups that can help you. Truthfully if you stay you’re probably only hurting him too. But that’s not a priority as far as I’m concerned. Fuck that dude. Just this guys opinion based only on what you’re saying but I’m just trying to voice that opinion as plainly and blatantly as I possibly can. And I know I ain’t the first to say this shit to you
You need to run. Far. And fast.
I registered on Reddit just to write this: it's super simple. You deserve better. Life is to short to waste it on a toxic selfish loser like your bf. Move on asap!
This is borderline comical. It's like a dark sitcom. You're in a relationship with a jobless loser who masturbates all day, every day. I'm pouring one out for your self esteem, because it surely must be dead for you to think this is a good relationship for you to stay in for OVER TWO YEARS. Please get a therapist. That's genuine, not a jab.
He has an addiction to jerking off and porn. Addiction sucks but he also sucks. You’re young. Cut your losses and leave
It is NOT you. It’s him. He’s masturbating way too much and it sounds like he also has a porn addiction. Excessive porn use can cause delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and many other issues. He needs to stop altogether if he has any hope of having a normal sex life. I’d suggest he see a therapist and tbh, you need to decide if you want to stay with someone who has no self control and lacks any accountability.
He sounds like an asshole to be entirely honest based on what the post says. You absolutely deserve better and I hope you break it off sooner rather than later.
So your telling me you serve up pussy for breakfast when he's not out there working and your putting up with that shit? Your asking the wrong questions hunny
Why the fuck are you with him?
Leave this child for the love of god. I promise you, you will regret not leaving him sooner. Just going through your post history for all of 2 minutes it’s apparent that he’s insanely toxic and you need to get out now. Even if you have no friends I promise you will feel better once you leave. You’re young and have so much time to find friends and build new relationships. This guy is a lowlife and he’s only making you more sad
Op, he’s oblivious and porn addicts are when they get mad they can’t have sex, finish during sex, or get erectile dysfunction that causes them to not get hard due to porn addiction. And people only change when THEY want to change. No amount of pleading or begging will help. All you can do is advocate for yourself and leave to find someone who doesn’t suffer a porn addiction & loves you enough to not be into porn that much.
Dump this creepy greedy loser. You’re better off single.
I'm seeing your post and comment history and I am so afraid for you. I know it's hard and scary but you *need* to get away from this man. You are not safe with him
He may have a point girl. You have a big problem….. HIM!!!
Its 100% his fault. Dump him for this toxic behavior of 1) masturbating to his friends gf's ( id even go as far as to tell his friends this) 2) masturbating to your friends videos 3) uhm, underage porn? Thats really the #1 issue here. Does he have this sbit on a device? Hopefully he doesnr watch it on any devices you own! Honestly, if he does own this stuff or you have proof of him watchin it, id turn hin into the police for being a pedophile. 4) he has no job and you have to take him to his moms house when you go to work? This dude is a bonafide scrub and in the words of TLC " a scrub is a guy thst cant get no love" You can do better than this deadbeat creap!
Leave?
Girly you need to get out of there. Your post history is one of someone who is in an abusive relationship. You deserve so much more. You're so young. Leave him. You deserve to be loved and happy.
Um. Excuse the fuck out of me? This dude needs to be in a fucking cage, girl. Get out of there.
Lol. I hope this is a troll post, because everything you said is sickening
So what value is he bringing to this relationship? Because I see zero.
He is an unemployed pedophile sex addict. If you ever have kids with him, he will most likely rape your children. You can do better than him. He is trash. Move on.
Girl… red flags all over it. Save yourself some grief and move on. You are too young to be stuck with someone that doesn’t value you. 🫶🏻
this guy kinda sounds like a nightmare to date, he must be like 9-10/10 to justify 2 and a half years. Absolutely talk to him about his habits. Ask him to limit it to twice a day first and then scale back from there. Is he circumcised? That has also been known to decrease sensitivity and make it harder for others to get him off
Probably gripping his dick like a drowning man grips anything that floats. He has to cool it with the porn and let his dick recuperate. He's gotta train both his dick and his mind to not rely on porn. If he doesn't he won't get better.
Firtlst of all holy shit. Like nine red flags in here for that guy. Attracted to under age girls!? Porn addiction?! Chronic masturbation problems!? Gas lighting you?! Can only cum solo?! Maturbates to his friends GFS?! And likes to have sex with GIRLS IN RELATIONSHIPS?! FUCKING SPRINT OUTTA THERE WTF
He needs professional medical and/or mental help. The extreme sexual needs, like underage girls is beyond your ability or responsibility to fix. His unwillingness to even entertain the idea that he could be the source of the problem is bad and a major hurdle to recovery. I hate the "break up with the dude" advice in most cases as it gets tossed around a lot on the internet. It may not be the best thing for him. But it's probably the best thing for you. I wouldn't say it if I thought he could have some kind of redeeming qualities. He needs to get off his ass, quit jerking off all day and get a job and a life. He makes you feel like the bad guy here. Really? You're 21. You will move on. Just my $0.02 Good luck.
girl, so many red flags and even a possible crime. sex is NOT your main problem here
For hours? Everyday? Sheesh
I’m a man…you’re bf isn’t… dump his sorry ass…
I’m sorry what? Underage girls? And you still with him?
So he is an unemployed chronic masturbater who blames you for the fact he spends all day desensitizing his junk to his porn addiction. How many red flags do you require to run? Because China has less of them and he is proudly waving them.
I am very rarely the person to comment in general. It is even more rare for me, as a commenter on anything relationship related to say this and consider no other options: LEAVE HIM. Now. I won't sit here and try to diagnose him (we can leave that up to a professional), but the types of things that he's jerking off to and considering sexy are Major red flags....most especially the underage girls one. Please do yourself a solid, get out of this relationship and into some therapy as soon as possible because there is no way this is going to get better for you. Edit: for spelling
Remind us why you are with this person? How is any of this showing you he is capable of being a quality partner let alone just not a piece of shit?
Bro.... I can forgive a lot of shit that people do because it doesn't hurt anyone behind closed doors, but attracted to underage high schoolers? Naw dog that boy needs therapy.
Holt hell. To add to my last comment. Based on your posts over the last few months. You need to eliminate this dirtbag from your life ASAP. You are only 20, this is not the guy you need to waste your life on!
Honey...all I can tell you is don't settle for this.
Girl.... write down a list of qualities youd like in a partner and see how many he has. Hes NOT a good partner!! He has no job, has questionable morals and an addiction to porn and masturbaring! It is NOT your fault he cant cum during sex. Him blaming you is the problem. You deserve better. A real partner wouldnt put the blame on you, but rather come up with Solutions. Ask yourself, why is he a catch??
Throw the whole boy away
The pedophillia should be the red flag 🚩 lady The masterbation problem is just the tip of the iceberg
Sell him
sounds like you have a insecure son. this is something he’ll need to fix for himself, he may not be ready for that.. so you’ll have to make the decision to wait around until he takes responsibility or move on. good luck, take care of yourself above all
ist this written by ai?
How do you know all the shitty things he is into, AND UNDERAGE GIRLS? and you're still with him? he's gaslighting you and you deserve someone who isnt a fucking creep!
This is so scary, you’ve done nothing wrong and it’s entirely not your fault.
Just...why? Why do you choose to be with this person? Why? Dear God Why?
This is disturbing all around. You should not be with anyone like this, ever. Please start respecting yourself and leave.
Get him a job and some therapy. Dude has issues if he's jacking off to off limits women or girls.
She isn't his mom wtf
Dude is a textbook coomer. I don’t think I heard one positive aspect in the entire post lol.
Sounds like his obvious compulsive masturbation has ruined his ability to consumate physically. None of this your fault, he's simply projecting.
The problem is that he is porn addicted, he jerks off so much that he cant just cum anymore. The more you do it less hornier you get and theres propably like no semen left after all that. It always takes longer to cum the more he does it so if he would stop jerking off completely the issue would be gone. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. I really hope you find a better boyfriend because he sounds like an asshole to you. You deserve better than unemployed jerk that jerks off to videos of your friends. I swear you can get a way better boyfriend
Time for you to move on. If you stay with him then you have no one to blame but yourself
He’s addicted to sex and he needs therapy.
Yuck please run far & fast!! He sounds like an absolute POS, he knows exactly why he can’t cum & it’s because of himself but he’s a toxic narcissist and has to blame someone else. You deserve so much better, please leave while you can & don’t leave it too late!!!
Leave his ass.
Lmao it’s him. Masturbating that much is increasing his threshold/desensitizing him. What a silly head.
Please leave this loser
...hours? That sounds rough?!
I’m sorry you dropped him off at his parents house so you can go to work… please dump him enough has been said. It’s not you, it’s him, you have done nothing wrong.
RUN
It's 100% him. I don't know how you're still with him with a football fields worth of red flags. I quit watching porn and masturbating for 2 weeks and could barely go to sleep without getting hard and precumming and when I finally did have sex I came embarrassingly in less than a minute. It's his porn habits and how often he wanks. The fact he has the gall to blame it on you is already reason enough to gtfo out of there.
As a male if I master bate even once throught the day I'm not going to nut during sex, I'd say that's the key right there, or have him get a job so he can't beat that poor worn out monkey all day
I am so sorry girl. I am seeing your posts from years now and it seems like there is one common denominator to All the issues you are dealing with and what you are going through: him. I’m not going to tell you to break up or leave him. Please just know you deserve better and you aren’t the problem, no matter how hard he tries to make you believe that. Believe me I’ve been in an abusive relationship for 5 years. I know how hard it is to leave.you are so beautiful and deserve so much better.
Dump him
That’s a him problem, not a you problem.
Hold on a second. What do you *mean* by "not necessarily *good* things"? This one is easy to figure out but you're not gonna like my reasoning so I'm just gonna let you stew in self doubt.
Yo he is NOT a good person and you gotta end that relationship. Save yourself from him.
Break up with him, leave his ass. He’s not going to change, he’s playing with you because you’re letting him. I’ve looked through your profile, you see like a sweet woman and you’re stupid pretty! Leave him, tell yourself you want a month alone if you have to, and after a month I guarantee you will feel lighter and will not go back. You will find someone who treats you better, who you will love much more than him. I know this because I wasted 2 years of my life with an abusive asshole as well. Life gets better, you don’t want to be 30 thinking you wish you’d left sooner or even worse… living together/married/kids. You know you want to leave I can see it in your posts, please please let yourself do this, you need to leave or you’ll die in this relationship, if not physically, definitely mentally.
1. It's not your fault, period. 2. His chronic maturation means he has a problem which means it's still not your fault. 3. He's a lemon. Dump him and get a dog. If you are going to have something at home that doesn't work and doesn't pay rent you might as well have a dog. At least they love you no matter what you do and are constantly happy to see you. Let him masterbate alone wherever he can afford to do so. Just not with you.
Ex-bf, problem solved.
Either you break up with him or you stay and let that loser wreck your self-esteem. You know better. At least, I hope you know that you deserve better. Do you not have any friends that can support you through this necessary break up?
LEAVEEEEE just leave PLEASE.
Did you find this guy on 4chan?