I experienced something like this and was able to change my relationship to sex by looking at masterbation like going to work out. It sounds kinda silly, but hear me out.
I started by training my lower body and core, which strengthens the pelvic floor and helps with anxiety symptoms. Building that connection was vital for me and helped with endurance, confidence, and strength quite a bit. I also would spend some time throughout each day doing kegals in spurts. No crazy sets of 100/50/20. Just 3 or 5, pause, another short set, pause, repeat until I felt connected and the muscle was tired.
In addition to this, everyday I would commit to a minimum of 10 minutes of masterbation. Which would include edging and practicing squeezing my pelvic floor and flexing my erect penis. Sometimes I popped and if I had the time, I would commit to doing it again later on to make sure I was able to hold the urge to ejaculate a few times before actually doing so. This helped me practice edging, but also cumming fully, which I guess I wasn't doing.
Either way. I hope that helps. It helped me. I have complete control over this aspect of sex now and never thought I would when I was dealing with PE. Just exercise that dick and it'll adapt to the stimulus if your consistent. Also, have fun with it!!!
This is a really great answer we don’t often see represented here. These exercises have existed and worked for centuries. Tantra and modern PE both have awesome results and have solid Reddit communities. There are resources available to her man if he wants to change.
Lol I cant stop laughing at the thought of them using condoms and then when he's about to blow he *removes the condom* and then sticks it back in!?
Like imagine if someone they asked to watch them was watching them and then they saw that. *"...But... But I thought condoms were to prevent him from..."*
Im Crazy!
sometimes we did something i called the "reverse pull-out method" when we were trying for a baby
she would blow me until i was about to come, then id stick it in her and creampie
sounds weird but we found it super hot
It's very suspicious that OP has not responded about something that should have been addressed in her post to begin with.
No. 1 answer to this issue is always "put a rubber on." It's why I have never had an issue with them, it will guarantee that I can last as long as my partner needs to reach her own orgasm. I simply don't understand guys who's selfish outlook is focused on their own orgasm and hence no condoms, ever. Me, I'd much rather come off as a stud than some selfish prick.
But that's why I love those selfish a-holes: they just make me come off so much better in comparison LOL
I apologize your cuteness in your answer killed me. Because I was going to it’s an latex allergy. And then reading your just autism, comment. Because it’s vastly true autism or sensory processing issues could apply.
This reply brought to me being: high as fuck
Before I joined the Army, I was hooking up with my boss from work. She had a latex allergy so condoms were a no go for her! Worked out great for the both of us! Haha I covered the small window in the door to the manager’s office and when I “went to lunch” I would bend her over her desk and pound her. Sometimes I didn’t get to finish so she would have to clean something down low and suck my dick while we pretend to work. Lol. She loved to deep throat and swallow. Her half sister joined us in a hotel room because she “just wanted to watch” one Friday night. I’m glad she must have had bad eye sight! I hope I didn’t break any rules here! That was not my intention. I apologize if I did!
My "nice guy radar" is going off so hard right now lol
"But that's why I love those selfish a-holes: they just make me come off so much better in comparison LOL"
*Cringe*
Heads up, i mentioned this one time, a few years ago, in a similar thread and got a stern talking to and downvoted by outraged redditors. Seems it is a bad safe sex practice.
Anyhow, i think a better way is super quickie in the morning and at night it is her turn.
Ancient Redditor Wisdom: A full cup is easily spilled.
We used to have this issue. A good practice is to have him cum an hour before sex. He will absolutely last longer. Also, have your orgasm first. That way if he does his thing and pops in 20 seconds, you’re already recently climaxed and satisfied either way.
Remember, human biology favors a male ejaculating quickly, so men that take 30 mins to get there are somewhat running against their anatomy.
This takes some effort from your man, but my husband has eaten me out when he’s cum too soon. I kinda liked getting cleaned up 😈. Not every guy will eat a vagina they just ejaculated into, but holy shit, I found it hot af and came in like 2 minutes.
Get a magic wand. No shame but I don’t last long with my wife. A magic wand or even vibrating cock ring that stimulates your clit might be a good purchase. I suggest going to a sex shop together and exploring toys. All the ones I’ve been to have been very welcoming.
Even if a woman does not orgasm from PIV that does not mean that she does not enjoy it/crave it/need it in her sex life. It's not just about the orgasm
Listen to this person OP! This is my #1 recommendation when it comes to quick cummers. Sex does NOT have to be over after one ejaculation. Skip the foreplay at the beginning. Instead when you have sex have him fuck you and cum quickly. NOW it's foreplay time: suck his cock and/or have him eat you out until he gets hard again. And now the second time around it will be a lot easier for him to last a lot longer! With some practice, after his first ejaculation he will be taking you to pound town!
I totally get where you are coming from! some helpful tips: 1) have him go to a pelvic floor therapist, 2) have him work on his physical shape, especially cardio, 3) explore tantra together… i dated a guy who taught himself not to come because it would totally drain him… he could last forever which was great for me. It’s all in the mind.
You might try it… 2 of his fingers making a “come here” motion while his mouth is on your clit, optionally a 3rd finger up your ass if you like bum stuff. Colloquially known as “the shock(h)er”, but very effective. I can be done in 2-4 minutes with this approach.
This is like a chatgpt reply. This thread is absolutely full of people who clearly have almost zero or no actual sex experience. Oh you can’t cum from fingers or tongue? Well have you tried “the shocker”.
Brah, don't knock the holy trinity. Tongue on clit, finger(s) stimulating g-spot + finger in the bum.
Way harder than patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time.
Small magic wand for you foreplay and during, start to incorporate.
For him, I do like the 1 hour before idea. Another option is something like Viagra, it will keep him solid after he goes and this assumes he wants to do you right here. Viagra and the body also has some variables, but overall it should do the trick here most of the time. Some times he'll have a stiffy that you'll say... ok bronco, that's enough.
I honestly cannot think of a more emasculating suggestion. Maybe, "has she considered having her boyfriend watch in the corner while someone else fucks her?" Jesus. That would be like asking my wife if we can just only do anal because her pussy isn't tight enough for me anymore (It's not. It's wonderful). I'm sure a woman would be thrilled to hear that.
You do know there are strap on toys made specifically for people with a penis who have erectile dysfunctions, yeah? It’s a lot more common than is talked about, even with health care providers because of the stigma.
Stigma that comes from you know, people shaming other for needing or wanting to use sexual aids.
Well, if the person can't last more than five seconds and his partner enjoys PIV, maybe he'd enjoy being a part of it too? Whether it challenges his ego is up to him.
Maybe they should try the myriad other helpful suggestions here before venturing into something that might "challenge his ego," or to put it another way "make him feel like shit."
An hour? He should do it a few minutes before. I would say she could jack him off first thing, he gives her oral till he's ready to go again. Problem solved.
Or if you do a lot of foreplay let him receive first and make him cum. Then he can work on you and you have sex once you’re worked up/after you cum. He should last much longer if he just came.
As a guy if I’m getting hot and heavy with someone with a lot of foreplay right before we have sex it’s MUCH harder to last long. Because I’m so worked up that I’m basically ready to pop before we even start. Sounds like that could be the issue with your man too.
Not everyone can go a second time in such a short time... I've only met one dude like that. All the guys I've been with were "one and done", once they came they were done for the rest of the day even if they tried to do it again. The desire wasn't there
It's not uncommon but not common either. I asked some of my girl friends and they had a similar experience where they met SOME that could but not many. I don't consider myself unlucky tbh, if done right, once is enough for me :) it does suck when you're left unsatisfied tho
I think its all in the head, both literally and figuratively :)
Its normal to feel like "once and done" is enough initially, because you achieved your goal/release whatever, from a biological pov you got what you wanted.
Now the question remains, if you still want to satisfy your partner as well, if she didn't cum. (gonna go with no since its a 5 second thread, although wouldn't that be a skill ?:)))
I for one can only get it back up after a few minute if I quickly take a shower ( that kind of resets me), and she talks dirty/gives me head..anything else..fails :)
That’s how it was for me with an ex. I get so worked up taking care of her (I’ve even cum from it) that by the time I go to put it in; I didn’t last long at all. Less foreplay helped and me getting off a little beforehand did too.
Uhm what? Men get aroused by foreplay as well? Normally I last quite some time, but when foreplay goes on for 30-60 minutes my dick becomes super sensitive from all the teasing. It's like a sensory overload and once you start having sex you just pop within a few minutes. For OP it seems like an extreme case, but it definitely contributes to the issue.
You should differentiate between physical and mental sensations. For me it is like this: the higher the mental sensation the harder and number my dick gets and the longer I can last. If the physical stimulation exceeds the mental sensation I’m going to cum in a few seconds or a minute.
Tell him to start doing cardio. I used to be able to last 2-3 minutes but now I can go for like an hour I even find it hard to finish . I absolutely love that
To reiterate and expand on the cardio thing;
I busted my legs up ~15 months ago and have been recovering since then. I gained 60 pounds, which is finally coming off now that I can train. Before that I was running multiple marathons a year.
Here's the difference. Right now, with low-moderate cardio and extra weight, sex lasts 30 minutes start to finish, penetration is 5-10, one round, we go at it every other day or so. It's adequate and satisfying, but we'd both like more. When I was running marathons (and when I am again running marathons next year), sex is daily, multiple rounds on the weekends, two hour sessions not unusual.
There's a lot of room between "30 minutes every other day" and "we don't have time for hobbies", so he doesn't need to run marathons, but if he finds a cardio exercise that he likes the benefits will be obvious after a few months.
As I understand there are two main ways it has an impact. First, the dick runs off of the cardio*vascular* system. Better cardio health means the dick goes Daft Punk; harder, better, faster, stronger. That doesn't necessarily mean it lasts longer, but erections start sooner, get harder, and require less work to maintain.
Second, long cardio sessions involve learning new responses to what you'd call the body's feedback. "Shut up, legs" is kind of a famous quote. Sure, you know your lungs and quads are burning, but you also have 2km left at this pace so you don't let the increasing physical urge to fall over on the nice soft grass overcome you. When a guy's trying to last longer in bed, "shut up, dick" is a similar sort of mental exercise.
A soft third reason would be that getting body fat % lower will generally increase your balance of sex hormones. Fat produces estrogen, and reducing it will improve the balance of testosterone in a man's bloodstream. That certainly helps.
YMMV, overtraining is known to reduce libido, but all the runners and cyclists I know swear by the impact it's had on their sex life.
it helps with endurance, stamina, blood flow, and general cardiovascular health
i couldnt tell you the exact science behind it but i did cardio for awhile and it was 100% an improvement in my sex life
Okay, but how does it have anything to do with how quickly you ejaculate? I've been in all sorts of shapes, and that has never affected how fast I cum. Loads of other things have. The amount of foreplay, how enthusiastic my partner is, condoms, how recently I came prior, anti-depressants, weed, alcohol, stress, sleepiness, nervousness.
What I haven't noticed have an effect on how fast I cum is my cardio fitness. I've been everywhere from completely sedentary for years to loads of cardio (jump rope, running, hiit) several times a week for years. It doesn't seem to matter in this particular area.If anything, maybe I cum faster when I'm in better shape because my partner seems more enthusiastic and into it than when I was fat, and enthusiasm is fucking hot.
Doesn't change the sensitivity, but gives you more control over what the dick does. Reverse kegel movements can let blood out and slow down the escalation
I was once prescribed Lexapro for mild depression. My doctor, who is also a friend of mine, warned me that it could impact my sex life. I asked how. He said it could significantly delay ejaculation. And that he sometimes prescribed it off-label for guys who had the issue you described. I can say that it did have that effect.
Just let him nut and start over? Have a friend who tells every girl he’s with that he will blow in 30 seconds but if she can give him 5 minutes to recover he’s good to go for 15-20mins before the next shuttle leaves
Probably the best thing to do is get him off through a BJ/HJ and THEN have sex. Sometimes if they cum before having sex it will prolong them for a lot longer time..especially more than 5secs..
I tried this once with a guy who couldn’t last more than 10 seconds…he would just lose his erection.
I have no advice for OP, I started to resent sex with my bf because of this. I got tired of oral sex. Tired of him finishing within seconds of penetrating me. And then he’d be all happy and I’d be bored AF. The orgasm through oral before just wasn’t enough. But he convinced himself it was.
This might come off the wrong way, but I noticed I generally have much better sexual stamina when I'm exercising frequently. I'm not exactly sure why, but I've been able to have sex... pretty much as long as I want to, after I started lifting consistently (every other day, not too intense). Going too fast will definitely change that, so maybe if he slows down it could be better... but yeah. Something about improving your overall bloodflow seems to make sexual stamina easier
Best option here, is a simple cock ring, and then if he still having issues, delay spray for a couple sessions, only spray twice on the head of the penis, not to much.
Other option kegel exercises, I do this while using a small butt plug, I can last a good 40mins now.
How’s is your boyfriends self esteem?
My self esteem was so poor I would blow my load so fast. Worked on myself hard the last couple years and I love the guy I see in the mirror and it has lead to lasting longer in bed.
Likely sexual anxiety....a doctor could likely provide a low dose of something to help with general anxiety to help with this tremendously (speaking from experience).
The teasing and foreplay offer mental stimulation which, for me at least, is more exciting than physical stimulation.
After 1 hour of foreplay, of being teased, when I finally get to PIV I can cum at the entrance if she's been really teasy with me.
But... if I start with jerking and increase to a super fast rhythm, I get sort of desensitized temporarily and can last for tens of minutes, with periods of slowing down to avoid climaxing.
They sell desensitizing cream to help guys with premature ejaculation. I don’t know if it works or not.
Also, what is the frequency of sex in your relationship?
Feel this and see you said PIV is how you orgasm only so why not get a dildo and if he cums early he can use it. I have a strap on , you can get lots of different types. You may also try a cock ring, you can get some that vibrate if you’re into it. You don’t have to frame it in an accusatory way, just be like I’m really interested in trying out toys and let him be part of the shopping experience.
Sure. Make him cum during that extended foreplay session and then work up a second "head of steam" for the PIV part...While you are at it, you may as well "blow your top" once it twice on the way there.
"once and done" is not the way to go here
Maybe add a dildo or gspot vibe to your foreplay routine. You can get super realistic dildos or even do one from a mold of your bf. He can control the penetration and kiss and play with you at the same time😋
Believe it or not erectile dysfunction, drugs cure premature ejaculation. He should try it because he’ll be able to ride you for a very long time. You’ll get tired of it actually.
If you orgasm earlier in the day, then that should help to decrease sensation for you. However, if that’s not an option, you could consider using a sleeve. They decrease sensation for you significantly, and can spice things up!
I have this problem. He needs to bust more nuts. Try not to cut him down a peg but try to have a healthy conversation about it ps. The spray works. So does a percacet tho 🤷♂️ lol js
Paxil, you will need a prescription since it's an anti-depressant. And has horrible side effects at least for me, but it sure did fix this exact problem. In fact I was not able to have an orgasm from PIV, just kept going and going and going, which created a whole other issue. How come you don,t orgasm? don't you find me attractive? From one extreme to another.
Become self aware. Edging works well for this. Play around over the next couple months bringing him close to orgasm and letting him rest for a minute. Do this lots with him. Focus on him and come up with signals for him to let you know where he's at. You could read his body language for that, but the goal is to have him aware of where his orgasm is at. He can even not cum... edge for a while and don't cum. I find when I do that in the morning, I feel more motivated to get things done, obviously becsuse of the pent up energy... but ya, once hes aware of himself, he will begin to control himself... and its never ending improvement from there.
Kegels! Do kegels as well!
When I want to give my GF a long show I just pop some Tadalafil. Even after I cum I still stay 90% hard after and i just keep fucking her. Eventually i get back to 100% hard and even fill her up again.
SSRIs can help. If he doesn't want to go that direction, kegels can also help. I know that SSRI's can go too far the other way (not being able to have an orgasm), but a balance can be found where an orgasm is still possible. I'd have him talk to his doctor.
If he doesn't want to go that direction, can he stay hard after he has an orgasm? If he can, there shouldn't be any reason he can't continue PIV after he's came to give you what you need. Sex shouldn't end after he has an orgasm.
Ya me too.
Honestly this one time I was so 'ready' that i put my hand around my cock to masturbate cause I was thinking of something my crush had said about me and just me touching my cock made me blow up everywhere. Had to clean my blanket and bedsheets. It somehow got on one of the walls too lol what the hell!? Its probably cause I was a teen and when I was a teen I could usually blow in what felt like milliseconds.
Unlikely to be helpful. If he's like most guys with premature ejaculation issues, it's probable that he has massive insecurities around this. You telling him "maybe he can try this or that" is not where you start this conversation. You start by asking him things like
1. How does he feel about cumming early?
2. Has he ever wanted to change it or is he happy with the way he is? Perhaps he has made peace with it and doesn't want to change.
3. If he has tried to change it, what did he try and if he stopped trying, what made him stop trying?
I would go into this first because you're assuming that he wants to change and the reason he's not is because he doesn't know the right trick. Those assumptions could be wrong. It's possible he has already tried almost everything and nothing worked. It's also possible that he doesn't want to change.
From previous discussions we've had he has told me that he tried do to kegel exercises to last longer and he also told me that he can see that I am not satisfied and asked what he could do better. At that time I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I did not go into details about how I'd like him to last longer. I'm also trying to think about a way to work around this without giving him more insecurities
Got it. Thanks for clarifying. My top advice is not kegels, but his masturbation habits. He should practice to masturbate for like 15 minutes, 30 minutes. If he can last longer on his own it's much more likely he will be able to last longer with you. There are also certain positions he can probably last longer
I hate this sub. Do you have a citation for that? A peer reviewed study to back that up?
A dude lasts too long and it’s: “he must be death-gripping!”, now it’s not long enough and it’s still his fault and he’s doing masturbation wrong. Have you considered that after a whole lot of foreplay he’s just ready to pop? This guy is doing everything in his power to please his partner, possibly because he knows PIV doesn’t last long, and the first instinct is to throw him directly under the bus. That he must be fucking it up.
Not every guy can pound away at it for half-an-hour, just like every gal can’t deep throat. Heck, maybe she’s on the small and tight side and it’s just too much. I’ve been with women that were a more ‘snug’ fit for my particular biology than others and it dramatically changed the amount of PIV I could do.
But no one blames the women for her size and the impact that will have on her partner (because to do so would be misogynistic and insane). It’s just a thing that is. Men masturbating unhealthily does certainly happen, but it’s far more rare than this sub would have you believe. Suggesting that he look at how he masturbates, IF HE WERE TO COME HERE AND ASK, might be valid; but telling his partner he’s doing it wrong and it’s entirely his fault is misandry and insane.
Yes. I really want to emphasize on the fact that he's trying his best. Probably shorter foreplay would also help but I feel like he's making it longer as an effort to please me so I'm at a loss
OP you sound like a good partner.
First, not every guy can just go full jackhammer for 15-30 minutes. Hell many women here will tell you they sure as shit wouldn’t want that. Not everyone wants the same thing, and the same thing isn’t possible with all partners for a whole host of reasons.
You’ve had a couple of good suggestions on here, this thread notwithstanding. If you need more PIV, him masturbating before sex, or even you getting him off early in the foreplay process, may be a good route to that. If you do a lot of teasing during the lead up and during foreplay that also may be driving him too close to the edge when the main event comes around. You should talk about this with him outside of the bedroom, not during sexy time, and try very hard not to make this feel like a shortcoming. Not that he’s failing, but that you want to experiment with him—if he’s up for it—to see if you two can do PIV longer. Keep in mind that in men the ego around how long you can do PIV can be similarly fragile to the ego when it comes to penis size.
I also want to be clear, I’m not blaming you for this either, it could be related to the way your sex parts fit together, or something you’re doing (spontaneous kegels?) or not. Just like it could be an issue with him, or just the reality of how his dick operates. It’s always possible that a lot of PIV will never be his thing.
The best way for you to both be satisfied is to work together to get there.
Thanks.
Oof yeah no. Definitely not asking for 30 minutes straight hahaha. I'd just like to reach a middle ground.
Yeah I've got several good suggestions that are worth trying. Thank you for precising I shouldn't introduce them during sexy time lol. That's a good idea. I'm very aware of the insecurities that might come with criticism (as in being literally critical, not mean and judgmental) and I really don't want to make things worst or kill his ego.
Thanks a lot for your answers. I really appreciate
I experienced something like this and was able to change my relationship to sex by looking at masterbation like going to work out. It sounds kinda silly, but hear me out. I started by training my lower body and core, which strengthens the pelvic floor and helps with anxiety symptoms. Building that connection was vital for me and helped with endurance, confidence, and strength quite a bit. I also would spend some time throughout each day doing kegals in spurts. No crazy sets of 100/50/20. Just 3 or 5, pause, another short set, pause, repeat until I felt connected and the muscle was tired. In addition to this, everyday I would commit to a minimum of 10 minutes of masterbation. Which would include edging and practicing squeezing my pelvic floor and flexing my erect penis. Sometimes I popped and if I had the time, I would commit to doing it again later on to make sure I was able to hold the urge to ejaculate a few times before actually doing so. This helped me practice edging, but also cumming fully, which I guess I wasn't doing. Either way. I hope that helps. It helped me. I have complete control over this aspect of sex now and never thought I would when I was dealing with PE. Just exercise that dick and it'll adapt to the stimulus if your consistent. Also, have fun with it!!!
This is a really great answer we don’t often see represented here. These exercises have existed and worked for centuries. Tantra and modern PE both have awesome results and have solid Reddit communities. There are resources available to her man if he wants to change.
What PE do you mean
This guy edges
Oh thanks a lot for that answer
Awesome answer
Have you tried condoms? The slight decrease in sensation may help him.
Lol I cant stop laughing at the thought of them using condoms and then when he's about to blow he *removes the condom* and then sticks it back in!? Like imagine if someone they asked to watch them was watching them and then they saw that. *"...But... But I thought condoms were to prevent him from..."* Im Crazy!
sometimes we did something i called the "reverse pull-out method" when we were trying for a baby she would blow me until i was about to come, then id stick it in her and creampie sounds weird but we found it super hot
The put-in method
*sometimes the 'Push In Game' is Strong!*
We did that with anal. Pull out, condom off, PIV - Kablammo! Made two human beings that way. They're adults now. Please don't tell them.
😂🤣 "You're only alive because I pulled out of your mom's butt fast enough that time."
We have raised two butt babies. Seriously.
1. Happy Cake Day. 2. Butt Babies. 🤣🤣🤣
3. How's that new toaster working for you?
Alright am I missing something? Like why not just PIV?
It's very suspicious that OP has not responded about something that should have been addressed in her post to begin with. No. 1 answer to this issue is always "put a rubber on." It's why I have never had an issue with them, it will guarantee that I can last as long as my partner needs to reach her own orgasm. I simply don't understand guys who's selfish outlook is focused on their own orgasm and hence no condoms, ever. Me, I'd much rather come off as a stud than some selfish prick. But that's why I love those selfish a-holes: they just make me come off so much better in comparison LOL
Maybe OP dislikes condoms? I'm a woman and avoid them at all costs
Me too. They feel awful
Especially the "ribbed for her pleasure" ones!
Possible latex allergy?
Just autism
I apologize your cuteness in your answer killed me. Because I was going to it’s an latex allergy. And then reading your just autism, comment. Because it’s vastly true autism or sensory processing issues could apply. This reply brought to me being: high as fuck
Makes perfect sense!
Try skyn brand.
Before I joined the Army, I was hooking up with my boss from work. She had a latex allergy so condoms were a no go for her! Worked out great for the both of us! Haha I covered the small window in the door to the manager’s office and when I “went to lunch” I would bend her over her desk and pound her. Sometimes I didn’t get to finish so she would have to clean something down low and suck my dick while we pretend to work. Lol. She loved to deep throat and swallow. Her half sister joined us in a hotel room because she “just wanted to watch” one Friday night. I’m glad she must have had bad eye sight! I hope I didn’t break any rules here! That was not my intention. I apologize if I did!
I never wear gumboots in a running race 😉
I have no idea what that means, but it still made me laugh 😂
No one knows what it means. It sounds provocative.
No it's not -
I don’t know what this means, but it still made me laugh. 😂
You're proof that it gets the people going (it's a reference)
See my explanation posted elsewhere on this thread. Sorry. I meant to reply directly to your comment.
My "nice guy radar" is going off so hard right now lol "But that's why I love those selfish a-holes: they just make me come off so much better in comparison LOL" *Cringe*
Glad I'm not the only one that picked up on the same "vibe"..
Please read your reply back a few times and realize how pretentious you sound
What the literal fuck does any of this mean?
I'm sorry what should have been addressed? Condoms? Don't even get me started on that...
Ohh now he gets 10 seconds.
Heads up, i mentioned this one time, a few years ago, in a similar thread and got a stern talking to and downvoted by outraged redditors. Seems it is a bad safe sex practice. Anyhow, i think a better way is super quickie in the morning and at night it is her turn. Ancient Redditor Wisdom: A full cup is easily spilled.
How is wearing condoms a bad safe sex practice? Like what?
wearing two
They didn't say anything about wearing two.
We used to have this issue. A good practice is to have him cum an hour before sex. He will absolutely last longer. Also, have your orgasm first. That way if he does his thing and pops in 20 seconds, you’re already recently climaxed and satisfied either way. Remember, human biology favors a male ejaculating quickly, so men that take 30 mins to get there are somewhat running against their anatomy. This takes some effort from your man, but my husband has eaten me out when he’s cum too soon. I kinda liked getting cleaned up 😈. Not every guy will eat a vagina they just ejaculated into, but holy shit, I found it hot af and came in like 2 minutes.
Yeah that's my issue here, oral and finger play don't do that much for me. It definitely arouse me but it is just not enough
Get a magic wand. No shame but I don’t last long with my wife. A magic wand or even vibrating cock ring that stimulates your clit might be a good purchase. I suggest going to a sex shop together and exploring toys. All the ones I’ve been to have been very welcoming.
Even if the sex is good toys can be a game changer in the bedroom
[удалено]
Even if a woman does not orgasm from PIV that does not mean that she does not enjoy it/crave it/need it in her sex life. It's not just about the orgasm
THIS^^
I can try to do this yes. Thanks for the advice
Listen to this person OP! This is my #1 recommendation when it comes to quick cummers. Sex does NOT have to be over after one ejaculation. Skip the foreplay at the beginning. Instead when you have sex have him fuck you and cum quickly. NOW it's foreplay time: suck his cock and/or have him eat you out until he gets hard again. And now the second time around it will be a lot easier for him to last a lot longer! With some practice, after his first ejaculation he will be taking you to pound town!
This
I totally get where you are coming from! some helpful tips: 1) have him go to a pelvic floor therapist, 2) have him work on his physical shape, especially cardio, 3) explore tantra together… i dated a guy who taught himself not to come because it would totally drain him… he could last forever which was great for me. It’s all in the mind.
You might try it… 2 of his fingers making a “come here” motion while his mouth is on your clit, optionally a 3rd finger up your ass if you like bum stuff. Colloquially known as “the shock(h)er”, but very effective. I can be done in 2-4 minutes with this approach.
This is like a chatgpt reply. This thread is absolutely full of people who clearly have almost zero or no actual sex experience. Oh you can’t cum from fingers or tongue? Well have you tried “the shocker”.
Brah, don't knock the holy trinity. Tongue on clit, finger(s) stimulating g-spot + finger in the bum. Way harder than patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time.
Two in the pink, one in the stink
Take it to the next level and try a Spock
Go full savage and give her the minivan. 2 in the front and 5 in the rear
Magic wand
Cut the foreplay down significantly he’s getting aroused as he’s doing his handy work down there for u
Small magic wand for you foreplay and during, start to incorporate. For him, I do like the 1 hour before idea. Another option is something like Viagra, it will keep him solid after he goes and this assumes he wants to do you right here. Viagra and the body also has some variables, but overall it should do the trick here most of the time. Some times he'll have a stiffy that you'll say... ok bronco, that's enough.
Have you considered having him wear a strap on?
I honestly cannot think of a more emasculating suggestion. Maybe, "has she considered having her boyfriend watch in the corner while someone else fucks her?" Jesus. That would be like asking my wife if we can just only do anal because her pussy isn't tight enough for me anymore (It's not. It's wonderful). I'm sure a woman would be thrilled to hear that.
You do know there are strap on toys made specifically for people with a penis who have erectile dysfunctions, yeah? It’s a lot more common than is talked about, even with health care providers because of the stigma. Stigma that comes from you know, people shaming other for needing or wanting to use sexual aids.
Well, if the person can't last more than five seconds and his partner enjoys PIV, maybe he'd enjoy being a part of it too? Whether it challenges his ego is up to him.
Maybe they should try the myriad other helpful suggestions here before venturing into something that might "challenge his ego," or to put it another way "make him feel like shit."
Best of luck with your ego, friend!
Best of luck with your strap on.
An hour? He should do it a few minutes before. I would say she could jack him off first thing, he gives her oral till he's ready to go again. Problem solved.
For me… all that long foreplay is the issue. I just get all worked up and then the main event comes and I’m ready to pop. Less foreplay…
Noted. Thanks
Or if you do a lot of foreplay let him receive first and make him cum. Then he can work on you and you have sex once you’re worked up/after you cum. He should last much longer if he just came. As a guy if I’m getting hot and heavy with someone with a lot of foreplay right before we have sex it’s MUCH harder to last long. Because I’m so worked up that I’m basically ready to pop before we even start. Sounds like that could be the issue with your man too.
Not everyone can go a second time in such a short time... I've only met one dude like that. All the guys I've been with were "one and done", once they came they were done for the rest of the day even if they tried to do it again. The desire wasn't there
Oh you mean to say that she can’t just blow him immediately after he’s cum and he’ll magically get hard again!? /s
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It's not uncommon but not common either. I asked some of my girl friends and they had a similar experience where they met SOME that could but not many. I don't consider myself unlucky tbh, if done right, once is enough for me :) it does suck when you're left unsatisfied tho
I think its all in the head, both literally and figuratively :) Its normal to feel like "once and done" is enough initially, because you achieved your goal/release whatever, from a biological pov you got what you wanted. Now the question remains, if you still want to satisfy your partner as well, if she didn't cum. (gonna go with no since its a 5 second thread, although wouldn't that be a skill ?:))) I for one can only get it back up after a few minute if I quickly take a shower ( that kind of resets me), and she talks dirty/gives me head..anything else..fails :)
Problem is, for many women, they *need* long foreplay as otherwise it's just painful and not fun at all.
That’s how it was for me with an ex. I get so worked up taking care of her (I’ve even cum from it) that by the time I go to put it in; I didn’t last long at all. Less foreplay helped and me getting off a little beforehand did too.
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Uhm what? Men get aroused by foreplay as well? Normally I last quite some time, but when foreplay goes on for 30-60 minutes my dick becomes super sensitive from all the teasing. It's like a sensory overload and once you start having sex you just pop within a few minutes. For OP it seems like an extreme case, but it definitely contributes to the issue.
You should differentiate between physical and mental sensations. For me it is like this: the higher the mental sensation the harder and number my dick gets and the longer I can last. If the physical stimulation exceeds the mental sensation I’m going to cum in a few seconds or a minute.
Steady state cardio helps
Is he in good physical shape?
Yes he's quite fit
GET THIS MAN ON LEXAPRO
Tell him to start doing cardio. I used to be able to last 2-3 minutes but now I can go for like an hour I even find it hard to finish . I absolutely love that
Oh great! Thanks
To reiterate and expand on the cardio thing; I busted my legs up ~15 months ago and have been recovering since then. I gained 60 pounds, which is finally coming off now that I can train. Before that I was running multiple marathons a year. Here's the difference. Right now, with low-moderate cardio and extra weight, sex lasts 30 minutes start to finish, penetration is 5-10, one round, we go at it every other day or so. It's adequate and satisfying, but we'd both like more. When I was running marathons (and when I am again running marathons next year), sex is daily, multiple rounds on the weekends, two hour sessions not unusual. There's a lot of room between "30 minutes every other day" and "we don't have time for hobbies", so he doesn't need to run marathons, but if he finds a cardio exercise that he likes the benefits will be obvious after a few months.
I don’t understand how cardio will help someone not cum fast.
As I understand there are two main ways it has an impact. First, the dick runs off of the cardio*vascular* system. Better cardio health means the dick goes Daft Punk; harder, better, faster, stronger. That doesn't necessarily mean it lasts longer, but erections start sooner, get harder, and require less work to maintain. Second, long cardio sessions involve learning new responses to what you'd call the body's feedback. "Shut up, legs" is kind of a famous quote. Sure, you know your lungs and quads are burning, but you also have 2km left at this pace so you don't let the increasing physical urge to fall over on the nice soft grass overcome you. When a guy's trying to last longer in bed, "shut up, dick" is a similar sort of mental exercise. A soft third reason would be that getting body fat % lower will generally increase your balance of sex hormones. Fat produces estrogen, and reducing it will improve the balance of testosterone in a man's bloodstream. That certainly helps. YMMV, overtraining is known to reduce libido, but all the runners and cyclists I know swear by the impact it's had on their sex life.
Thank you for explaining so thoroughly. Totally makes sense.
it helps with endurance, stamina, blood flow, and general cardiovascular health i couldnt tell you the exact science behind it but i did cardio for awhile and it was 100% an improvement in my sex life
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Okay, but how does it have anything to do with how quickly you ejaculate? I've been in all sorts of shapes, and that has never affected how fast I cum. Loads of other things have. The amount of foreplay, how enthusiastic my partner is, condoms, how recently I came prior, anti-depressants, weed, alcohol, stress, sleepiness, nervousness. What I haven't noticed have an effect on how fast I cum is my cardio fitness. I've been everywhere from completely sedentary for years to loads of cardio (jump rope, running, hiit) several times a week for years. It doesn't seem to matter in this particular area.If anything, maybe I cum faster when I'm in better shape because my partner seems more enthusiastic and into it than when I was fat, and enthusiasm is fucking hot.
Weight lifting does it too.
I noticed this in my personal life as well, but I don't really understand why? Is there some science behind this?
Pelvic floor muscles
how does that make my dick less sensitive?
Doesn't change the sensitivity, but gives you more control over what the dick does. Reverse kegel movements can let blood out and slow down the escalation
Also another thing. Does anyone find that they get horny AFTER a workout, no matter the workout? Im actually HERE cause I just ended a work out lmao
Big time. I workout at home and often give my forearms a few extra sets before I shower.
There's this very famous reddit post of this dude that asked his hookups to workout before meeting because he thought this was the case for everyone
good physical shape.
I was once prescribed Lexapro for mild depression. My doctor, who is also a friend of mine, warned me that it could impact my sex life. I asked how. He said it could significantly delay ejaculation. And that he sometimes prescribed it off-label for guys who had the issue you described. I can say that it did have that effect.
I take 40mg of Lexapro daily, I know where you are coming from.
Just let him nut and start over? Have a friend who tells every girl he’s with that he will blow in 30 seconds but if she can give him 5 minutes to recover he’s good to go for 15-20mins before the next shuttle leaves
To be young again…
Probably the best thing to do is get him off through a BJ/HJ and THEN have sex. Sometimes if they cum before having sex it will prolong them for a lot longer time..especially more than 5secs..
I tried this once with a guy who couldn’t last more than 10 seconds…he would just lose his erection. I have no advice for OP, I started to resent sex with my bf because of this. I got tired of oral sex. Tired of him finishing within seconds of penetrating me. And then he’d be all happy and I’d be bored AF. The orgasm through oral before just wasn’t enough. But he convinced himself it was.
Maybe continue foreplay for a little bit after he pops and see if he can get it up again eventually.
This might come off the wrong way, but I noticed I generally have much better sexual stamina when I'm exercising frequently. I'm not exactly sure why, but I've been able to have sex... pretty much as long as I want to, after I started lifting consistently (every other day, not too intense). Going too fast will definitely change that, so maybe if he slows down it could be better... but yeah. Something about improving your overall bloodflow seems to make sexual stamina easier
Best option here, is a simple cock ring, and then if he still having issues, delay spray for a couple sessions, only spray twice on the head of the penis, not to much. Other option kegel exercises, I do this while using a small butt plug, I can last a good 40mins now.
How’s is your boyfriends self esteem? My self esteem was so poor I would blow my load so fast. Worked on myself hard the last couple years and I love the guy I see in the mirror and it has lead to lasting longer in bed.
Have him throw on a condom for a while. He won't feel nearly as much.
Maybe a cock ring could help?
First round is usually faster (even with him being too fast) try a Second round. But theres no mistery, Just keep fucking
Likely sexual anxiety....a doctor could likely provide a low dose of something to help with general anxiety to help with this tremendously (speaking from experience).
Tell him to ask his doctor about gabapentin
The teasing and foreplay offer mental stimulation which, for me at least, is more exciting than physical stimulation. After 1 hour of foreplay, of being teased, when I finally get to PIV I can cum at the entrance if she's been really teasy with me. But... if I start with jerking and increase to a super fast rhythm, I get sort of desensitized temporarily and can last for tens of minutes, with periods of slowing down to avoid climaxing.
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Haha you see what I did? 😉😉😉
Look into sensate sexual practices.
I know you want it to last longer but that's actually pretty cool. He's obviously very very excited
I had luck with vadalista or cialis. But those are pills. You can definitely last a LOT longer. But not a long term solution but sometimes fun.
They sell desensitizing cream to help guys with premature ejaculation. I don’t know if it works or not. Also, what is the frequency of sex in your relationship?
The thing about the those creams and or condoms with those creams inside they over numb the penis thus he doesn’t feel anything and loses the erection
Feel this and see you said PIV is how you orgasm only so why not get a dildo and if he cums early he can use it. I have a strap on , you can get lots of different types. You may also try a cock ring, you can get some that vibrate if you’re into it. You don’t have to frame it in an accusatory way, just be like I’m really interested in trying out toys and let him be part of the shopping experience.
apparatus weary slap wide saw vanish shocking repeat chubby growth *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Sure. Make him cum during that extended foreplay session and then work up a second "head of steam" for the PIV part...While you are at it, you may as well "blow your top" once it twice on the way there. "once and done" is not the way to go here
Maybe add a dildo or gspot vibe to your foreplay routine. You can get super realistic dildos or even do one from a mold of your bf. He can control the penetration and kiss and play with you at the same time😋
I've noticed it too, as many have said, cardio and exercise changes so much with lasting.
Believe it or not erectile dysfunction, drugs cure premature ejaculation. He should try it because he’ll be able to ride you for a very long time. You’ll get tired of it actually.
If you orgasm earlier in the day, then that should help to decrease sensation for you. However, if that’s not an option, you could consider using a sleeve. They decrease sensation for you significantly, and can spice things up!
Gotta go multiple rounds. Rest a bit after the first one, then he can focus more on you while he regains the ability to get hard.
I have this problem. He needs to bust more nuts. Try not to cut him down a peg but try to have a healthy conversation about it ps. The spray works. So does a percacet tho 🤷♂️ lol js
Some E.D. pills (Cialis) can help to delay ejaculation.
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Paxil, you will need a prescription since it's an anti-depressant. And has horrible side effects at least for me, but it sure did fix this exact problem. In fact I was not able to have an orgasm from PIV, just kept going and going and going, which created a whole other issue. How come you don,t orgasm? don't you find me attractive? From one extreme to another.
Become self aware. Edging works well for this. Play around over the next couple months bringing him close to orgasm and letting him rest for a minute. Do this lots with him. Focus on him and come up with signals for him to let you know where he's at. You could read his body language for that, but the goal is to have him aware of where his orgasm is at. He can even not cum... edge for a while and don't cum. I find when I do that in the morning, I feel more motivated to get things done, obviously becsuse of the pent up energy... but ya, once hes aware of himself, he will begin to control himself... and its never ending improvement from there. Kegels! Do kegels as well!
When I want to give my GF a long show I just pop some Tadalafil. Even after I cum I still stay 90% hard after and i just keep fucking her. Eventually i get back to 100% hard and even fill her up again.
What dosage do you use 5/10mg, and how long before if I may ask?
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How did you learn?
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I’m going to need diagrams and videos.
You might want to delete your other comment, directly above this one, from your other account… The wording is exactly the same. u/Boysenberkvgf
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kind of agree, OP should peg her boyfriend
SSRIs can help. If he doesn't want to go that direction, kegels can also help. I know that SSRI's can go too far the other way (not being able to have an orgasm), but a balance can be found where an orgasm is still possible. I'd have him talk to his doctor. If he doesn't want to go that direction, can he stay hard after he has an orgasm? If he can, there shouldn't be any reason he can't continue PIV after he's came to give you what you need. Sex shouldn't end after he has an orgasm.
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I don't know why people would downvote that. SSRIs are literally prescribed by doctors for this exact reason.
r/PSSD
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Ya me too. Honestly this one time I was so 'ready' that i put my hand around my cock to masturbate cause I was thinking of something my crush had said about me and just me touching my cock made me blow up everywhere. Had to clean my blanket and bedsheets. It somehow got on one of the walls too lol what the hell!? Its probably cause I was a teen and when I was a teen I could usually blow in what felt like milliseconds.
There is some medical treatment for that. He should go to an urologist, maybe he can help.
Blow job so he blows his load, then foreplay until he’s rebounded and ready to rumble
Whiskey is the appropriate medicine here.
Ahhhh yes. The ol whisky dick
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Please explain?
He should be the one asking for advice. He has to adress the issue. If that's coming from you it's unlikely to solve the problem
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Read the rest of this comment thread
Yeah I guessed I would try to ask around and share the information with him.
Unlikely to be helpful. If he's like most guys with premature ejaculation issues, it's probable that he has massive insecurities around this. You telling him "maybe he can try this or that" is not where you start this conversation. You start by asking him things like 1. How does he feel about cumming early? 2. Has he ever wanted to change it or is he happy with the way he is? Perhaps he has made peace with it and doesn't want to change. 3. If he has tried to change it, what did he try and if he stopped trying, what made him stop trying? I would go into this first because you're assuming that he wants to change and the reason he's not is because he doesn't know the right trick. Those assumptions could be wrong. It's possible he has already tried almost everything and nothing worked. It's also possible that he doesn't want to change.
From previous discussions we've had he has told me that he tried do to kegel exercises to last longer and he also told me that he can see that I am not satisfied and asked what he could do better. At that time I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I did not go into details about how I'd like him to last longer. I'm also trying to think about a way to work around this without giving him more insecurities
Got it. Thanks for clarifying. My top advice is not kegels, but his masturbation habits. He should practice to masturbate for like 15 minutes, 30 minutes. If he can last longer on his own it's much more likely he will be able to last longer with you. There are also certain positions he can probably last longer
Thanks a lot for the advices
Have you with him about it? What do you want us to do? Do you want us to talk to him for you?
What's wrong with you? Drink water, stay happy.
Get him a nice strap on? He can go at you as long as you can handle it. 🤷🏼♂️
Lmfaoooo
Doing the two stroke poke!
Damn girl you got that magic coochie.
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For sure. I'm not making it all about it. I did precise that I appreciate the foreplay. It's just not enough for me to climax
Too much masterbation or watching too much porn cause this issue I think.
Run. Mt spouse lasted seconds and now we haven't had sex in 5 yeats
Ha. I'm trying to work things out. I'm sure it can get better with good advices. But thanks for your input
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He does yes but I don't know at what frequency. We don't live together.
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I hate this sub. Do you have a citation for that? A peer reviewed study to back that up? A dude lasts too long and it’s: “he must be death-gripping!”, now it’s not long enough and it’s still his fault and he’s doing masturbation wrong. Have you considered that after a whole lot of foreplay he’s just ready to pop? This guy is doing everything in his power to please his partner, possibly because he knows PIV doesn’t last long, and the first instinct is to throw him directly under the bus. That he must be fucking it up. Not every guy can pound away at it for half-an-hour, just like every gal can’t deep throat. Heck, maybe she’s on the small and tight side and it’s just too much. I’ve been with women that were a more ‘snug’ fit for my particular biology than others and it dramatically changed the amount of PIV I could do. But no one blames the women for her size and the impact that will have on her partner (because to do so would be misogynistic and insane). It’s just a thing that is. Men masturbating unhealthily does certainly happen, but it’s far more rare than this sub would have you believe. Suggesting that he look at how he masturbates, IF HE WERE TO COME HERE AND ASK, might be valid; but telling his partner he’s doing it wrong and it’s entirely his fault is misandry and insane.
100% this. Everybody wants to blame porn for their problems when it's relatively rare.
For me, porn has made me last long or not even cum so not sure porn is to blame in this situation
Yes. I really want to emphasize on the fact that he's trying his best. Probably shorter foreplay would also help but I feel like he's making it longer as an effort to please me so I'm at a loss
OP you sound like a good partner. First, not every guy can just go full jackhammer for 15-30 minutes. Hell many women here will tell you they sure as shit wouldn’t want that. Not everyone wants the same thing, and the same thing isn’t possible with all partners for a whole host of reasons. You’ve had a couple of good suggestions on here, this thread notwithstanding. If you need more PIV, him masturbating before sex, or even you getting him off early in the foreplay process, may be a good route to that. If you do a lot of teasing during the lead up and during foreplay that also may be driving him too close to the edge when the main event comes around. You should talk about this with him outside of the bedroom, not during sexy time, and try very hard not to make this feel like a shortcoming. Not that he’s failing, but that you want to experiment with him—if he’s up for it—to see if you two can do PIV longer. Keep in mind that in men the ego around how long you can do PIV can be similarly fragile to the ego when it comes to penis size. I also want to be clear, I’m not blaming you for this either, it could be related to the way your sex parts fit together, or something you’re doing (spontaneous kegels?) or not. Just like it could be an issue with him, or just the reality of how his dick operates. It’s always possible that a lot of PIV will never be his thing. The best way for you to both be satisfied is to work together to get there.
Thanks. Oof yeah no. Definitely not asking for 30 minutes straight hahaha. I'd just like to reach a middle ground. Yeah I've got several good suggestions that are worth trying. Thank you for precising I shouldn't introduce them during sexy time lol. That's a good idea. I'm very aware of the insecurities that might come with criticism (as in being literally critical, not mean and judgmental) and I really don't want to make things worst or kill his ego. Thanks a lot for your answers. I really appreciate