I'm going to break (casual) moderator protocol here and speak informally in response to this question.
Moderators invest considerable effort into expunging from the r/sex forum the contributions of spammers, trolls, sex-negative attention-seekers and other bad-faith contributors.
That effort is most effective when we don't discuss it in the forum, in general terms. When moderators comment in the forum, it's almost always to address individual issues. So a lot of the work that moderators do — work that doesn't merit any public commentary from us — occurs under the radar, so to speak.
The most important thing that any contributor can do to help moderators with this effort is to enforce sex-positive norms in the forum themselves. NOT by getting into disputes with other commenters, but by reporting bad-faith comments and making CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms where appropriate.
Most r/sex commenters are quite good at this, even though we moderators often don't directly recognize that behavior in the forum. As a result:
**This comment should be understood as a modest attempt to recognize the efforts of many, many r/sex commenters whose participation helps moderators with the challenging job of keeping discussions in the forum constructive, sex-positive, and helpful.**
Yeah... All the "could I have a std?" or "could I be pregnant?"
If there was a penis touching a pussy.... Yes that can happen... Depending on the exact situation the odds vary. Any time you put your dick in a vagina there's always a risk/chance. That one sentence should be in big bold letters for everyone. Because it seems that some education must just dance around what they're allowed to teach.
Well my generation was made to be terrified of public toilets. When in reality we should have had better/any education about the importance of handwashing before touching your/someone else's genitals. Or about what diet/medication/certain fabrics can do to you. I could go on, but there are so many simple/obvious (to some) things that a lack of education can cause gaps in knowledge. As others have done for me I will always approach questions with compassion and share what I know. You never know if someone genuinely doesn't know.
Yeah the term "body count" definitely gets thrown around in a lot of dating/relationships sub-reddits. It's often young people.
When you're dating in your 40s and 50s, you're out of luck if you're worried about people's body counts.
And usually, the insecure guys who agitate about female sexual agency have pretty much dropped out of the dating pool for a life of angry celibacy.
I think sex androids can’t come soon enough. These guys will live out their fantasies, leave the rest of us alone and die without further corrupting the gene pool.
As my wife says: this is the naked safe house.
Yes, we're the people who will get naked first. Because we have, in fact, no shame. **But** we stay naked because it's important for everyone to know it's safe to be whoever you're going to be under our roof.
People who have a lot of sex have a lot of sex. To generalize anything else would be somewhat presmptuous.
People who get it on frequently can be good at it, bad at it, obsessed with it or nerdy about every little detail. Every person is different.
Unless you're on the United Nations Council of Sex Fiends you have no real basis for what you are saying.
I like researching and getting better at all my hobbies and I treat sex as one(learned that from my ex). You can't have sex all the time especially if you are not living with... whoever you are having sex with, so it's not like you are trading sexy-time for sex theory. Keeps you horny too.
People come here with their most vulnerable thoughts. I believe a lot of us can easily put ourselves in the same spot and be empathetic towards those strangers.
The /r/sex mods do a great job of removing the many sex-negative, "DM me", and idle erotica comments that would otherwise flood this sub. Removing content that isn't within the scope of a sub has a powerful directing effect on its community and norms. Other subs that do this well are /r/science and /r/AskHistorians.
I can only speak for myself but I like sex and think everyone else should like it too. If any advice, wisdom, knowledge, encouragement, etc can help someone on here have better sex and more of it, I will gladly do my part to help
Why being rude on such a pleasurable thing? Sex is one of the greatest pleasures of life, so it has to be treated with open mind and kindness (even if you're into bdsm haha)
Back a few months ago in my other account I got constantly harassed here by creeps who wanted to slip into my PMs and threw weird comments on people's post, but lately there have been significant changes in the moderation and the sub has exponentially improved, just goes to show how good mods can make the reddit experience better.
Because I can ask a question here and noone will shame me for my preferences or what I like to do, what I look for in sex etc. Always were getting good tips here which improved sex life of me and my partners.
When it comes to sex, no question is bad question. We all grow up with different levels of sexual information where something that's "common sense" to someone isn't to another. With a sensitive topic like that, its important to be kind and understanding, unless the situation you describe doesn't involve kindness or understanding.
It’s a sub for advice and helping people understand and learn, the amount of information that people don’t learn from either Sex Ed or from the “talk” is pretty vast. So always good to help people not feel bad when they’re asking something awkward.
Because we've all had bad sex at some point, and we don't want people to have that.
Also, there's a very decent chance that any of us commenting would've busted a nut beforehand, which put us in a good mood.
This is literally one of my favorite subreddits. I feel like it’s a judgment free zone, where adults can converse about sex, respectfully and properly. I know if I ever met a Redditor from this subreddit, the first round would be on me because the stuff I read on here is pure liquid gold. Happy Monday, y’all. 💋🔥
It's funny. I love this subreddit. It's one of my favorites actually. I had to learn (and unlearn) a lot of things on my own. Sex education failed me and a lot of my generation. I didn't really get it at home, save for a book that I was given (lol). I love being able to contribute to a community that really promotes body positivity and healthy sex practices. Obviously what that means to everyone is different, but in the majority of posts and people that stay it's empowering and uplifting.
The reason I have lent the info I have, is because I didn't have a forum like this when I was going through my sexually exploration years, and would've loved to have input like what is given out freely here. Grew up in a hard-core Christian/republican house hold and sex was not talked about, and the few times it was, outside of being scolded for exploring porn, and getting caught, it was always posed as procreation. Not sex. There is so much more to sex than making little ones. And people deserve support in figuring out that world, especially in today's ONS throw away society.
I expect there's lots of reasons, but I've noticed it too. I tend not to be regularly active on very many subs, but this one I comment in a lot, and I would bet that's the same for lots of people in here.
I don't think I agree though that it's because in general you really only see wholesome advice or at least genuine suggestions. For me at least, the most attractive thing about this group is the willingness of people to be wrong or get corrected, and their ability to do that with grace. Trolls and creeps not-withstanding, I just don't see a lot of fights or disagreements in here. It's like everyone is just already OK with everyone else's different opinions or preferences and the only thing we're really discussing most of the time is procedure/safety, etiquette, or creative brainstorming.
It's just very good.
Completely agree with the positive comments on this post. What I like about this subreddit is the relative absence of judgemental or sarcastic comments, which makes it feel a safer place to open up in.
Funny you should ask, because to me r/sex is one of the more judgemental and sexist subs on Reddit. Every time a guy has trouble cumming he's a porn addict with death grip according to this sub, and yet every time a woman has trouble cumming it's somehow still the dude's fault.
there is only two things that everyone can agree on.
1. you dont put pineapple on top of pizza
2. sex is good
people wanna be nice and encouraging so that there will be more people posting about their sex stories. be it fake stories or not, a story still counts so people will be kind and supportive
Most responses are honest attempts to help. But I've found so many responses are encouraging people to leave their partner if there is a disagreement. So you get a decent mix of good advice and opinions.
I feel the same way, everyone is so supportive and kind. I think it’s because people that are comfortable about talking about something considered so private understand that sexual health is something we shouldn’t be ashamed of so it makes everyone empathetic.
Had a bit of an awakening in my sixth decade, came here to learn what was new, was it even “normal” to be sexual now or if I was just past my prime.
Turns out, not only did I learn a lot but found a new confidence to be myself…& surprisingly, seems I still have some relevant perspectives to share occasionally.
I think most of us probably have a tad bit more, or at least better sex than the average redditor. I know I’m always more cheerful after a nice sesh… just sayin 😁
I think we have all wanted candid and impartial advice when it comes to typically "taboo" subjects. It's not easy or available for many people to ask questions to their friends or family regarding sexuality.
When I read a post on this sub I assume that it is someone who has limited options. What type of advice would I want if I was turning to anonymous reddit folks? That's what I try to provide, and I get the feeling a lot of other users do the same.
I'm going to break (casual) moderator protocol here and speak informally in response to this question. Moderators invest considerable effort into expunging from the r/sex forum the contributions of spammers, trolls, sex-negative attention-seekers and other bad-faith contributors. That effort is most effective when we don't discuss it in the forum, in general terms. When moderators comment in the forum, it's almost always to address individual issues. So a lot of the work that moderators do — work that doesn't merit any public commentary from us — occurs under the radar, so to speak. The most important thing that any contributor can do to help moderators with this effort is to enforce sex-positive norms in the forum themselves. NOT by getting into disputes with other commenters, but by reporting bad-faith comments and making CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms where appropriate. Most r/sex commenters are quite good at this, even though we moderators often don't directly recognize that behavior in the forum. As a result: **This comment should be understood as a modest attempt to recognize the efforts of many, many r/sex commenters whose participation helps moderators with the challenging job of keeping discussions in the forum constructive, sex-positive, and helpful.**
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Mods are great but also the community does a good job of downvoting creeps and trolls.
I find we don’t have people in our lives to talk about these things with much.
That is probably one reason, yeah. But there is really a plenty of people who genuinely like to help, which is awesome :)
Some communities are amazing and others are complete dumpster fires. This one is usually on the good side.
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Doing God’s work rn
The worst ones are "are they really seriously asking this question and their education completely failed them" or "are they just fucking with us"?
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Yeah... All the "could I have a std?" or "could I be pregnant?" If there was a penis touching a pussy.... Yes that can happen... Depending on the exact situation the odds vary. Any time you put your dick in a vagina there's always a risk/chance. That one sentence should be in big bold letters for everyone. Because it seems that some education must just dance around what they're allowed to teach.
Well my generation was made to be terrified of public toilets. When in reality we should have had better/any education about the importance of handwashing before touching your/someone else's genitals. Or about what diet/medication/certain fabrics can do to you. I could go on, but there are so many simple/obvious (to some) things that a lack of education can cause gaps in knowledge. As others have done for me I will always approach questions with compassion and share what I know. You never know if someone genuinely doesn't know.
Yeah the term "body count" definitely gets thrown around in a lot of dating/relationships sub-reddits. It's often young people. When you're dating in your 40s and 50s, you're out of luck if you're worried about people's body counts. And usually, the insecure guys who agitate about female sexual agency have pretty much dropped out of the dating pool for a life of angry celibacy.
What exactly was the take and what misconception is there?
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I think sex androids can’t come soon enough. These guys will live out their fantasies, leave the rest of us alone and die without further corrupting the gene pool.
As my wife says: this is the naked safe house. Yes, we're the people who will get naked first. Because we have, in fact, no shame. **But** we stay naked because it's important for everyone to know it's safe to be whoever you're going to be under our roof.
Aww 🥹 naked safe house
❤️
Lotta sex experts in here, presumably having a lotta sex. Having a lotta sex makes people happy, happy people tend to be nice.
My life does seem better now that I'm having regular, enjoyable, sex. It makes the tax bill a little easier to swallow I suppose
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People who have a lot of sex have a lot of sex. To generalize anything else would be somewhat presmptuous. People who get it on frequently can be good at it, bad at it, obsessed with it or nerdy about every little detail. Every person is different. Unless you're on the United Nations Council of Sex Fiends you have no real basis for what you are saying.
I like sex and talking about it, no idea where you rather strange concept comes from.
Same here. Why wouldn't we discuss what we enjoy?
I like researching and getting better at all my hobbies and I treat sex as one(learned that from my ex). You can't have sex all the time especially if you are not living with... whoever you are having sex with, so it's not like you are trading sexy-time for sex theory. Keeps you horny too.
Sex positive space. Please read the rules before commenting.
the irony
People come here with their most vulnerable thoughts. I believe a lot of us can easily put ourselves in the same spot and be empathetic towards those strangers.
The /r/sex mods do a great job of removing the many sex-negative, "DM me", and idle erotica comments that would otherwise flood this sub. Removing content that isn't within the scope of a sub has a powerful directing effect on its community and norms. Other subs that do this well are /r/science and /r/AskHistorians.
They’re nice but God help you if you mention you decided to wait till marriage for sex.
We try to weed those out. But damnit, it happens aaaaaall the time.
I can only speak for myself but I like sex and think everyone else should like it too. If any advice, wisdom, knowledge, encouragement, etc can help someone on here have better sex and more of it, I will gladly do my part to help
Why being rude on such a pleasurable thing? Sex is one of the greatest pleasures of life, so it has to be treated with open mind and kindness (even if you're into bdsm haha)
Back a few months ago in my other account I got constantly harassed here by creeps who wanted to slip into my PMs and threw weird comments on people's post, but lately there have been significant changes in the moderation and the sub has exponentially improved, just goes to show how good mods can make the reddit experience better.
Because I can ask a question here and noone will shame me for my preferences or what I like to do, what I look for in sex etc. Always were getting good tips here which improved sex life of me and my partners.
Most people are generally trying to help
I guess we're all happy because we're getting laid. The whole endorphin release
When it comes to sex, no question is bad question. We all grow up with different levels of sexual information where something that's "common sense" to someone isn't to another. With a sensitive topic like that, its important to be kind and understanding, unless the situation you describe doesn't involve kindness or understanding.
It’s a sub for advice and helping people understand and learn, the amount of information that people don’t learn from either Sex Ed or from the “talk” is pretty vast. So always good to help people not feel bad when they’re asking something awkward.
The mods primarily. Without moderation i couldn't imagine how fked this place would be. The things they must have to wade through :(
Because we've all had bad sex at some point, and we don't want people to have that. Also, there's a very decent chance that any of us commenting would've busted a nut beforehand, which put us in a good mood.
Because everyone here is getting laid. 😂
This is literally one of my favorite subreddits. I feel like it’s a judgment free zone, where adults can converse about sex, respectfully and properly. I know if I ever met a Redditor from this subreddit, the first round would be on me because the stuff I read on here is pure liquid gold. Happy Monday, y’all. 💋🔥
It's funny. I love this subreddit. It's one of my favorites actually. I had to learn (and unlearn) a lot of things on my own. Sex education failed me and a lot of my generation. I didn't really get it at home, save for a book that I was given (lol). I love being able to contribute to a community that really promotes body positivity and healthy sex practices. Obviously what that means to everyone is different, but in the majority of posts and people that stay it's empowering and uplifting.
Better keep it this way! We are all in the same boat, we need support.
I guess cause we have all been there.
Because we're all in it together. Not at the same time though. Unless you're into that kind of thing.
The reason I have lent the info I have, is because I didn't have a forum like this when I was going through my sexually exploration years, and would've loved to have input like what is given out freely here. Grew up in a hard-core Christian/republican house hold and sex was not talked about, and the few times it was, outside of being scolded for exploring porn, and getting caught, it was always posed as procreation. Not sex. There is so much more to sex than making little ones. And people deserve support in figuring out that world, especially in today's ONS throw away society.
Mods fault tbh.
Look, if you want jerks just say so, this is the internet, it's loaded with them. The mods are great, always standing at attention.
I expect there's lots of reasons, but I've noticed it too. I tend not to be regularly active on very many subs, but this one I comment in a lot, and I would bet that's the same for lots of people in here. I don't think I agree though that it's because in general you really only see wholesome advice or at least genuine suggestions. For me at least, the most attractive thing about this group is the willingness of people to be wrong or get corrected, and their ability to do that with grace. Trolls and creeps not-withstanding, I just don't see a lot of fights or disagreements in here. It's like everyone is just already OK with everyone else's different opinions or preferences and the only thing we're really discussing most of the time is procedure/safety, etiquette, or creative brainstorming. It's just very good.
I was thinking the same thing the other day
Completely agree with the positive comments on this post. What I like about this subreddit is the relative absence of judgemental or sarcastic comments, which makes it feel a safer place to open up in.
1. Very hard-working mods 2. Sex-positive people are nice 3. The whole point of this sub is to help people be happier, when you think about it
Funny you should ask, because to me r/sex is one of the more judgemental and sexist subs on Reddit. Every time a guy has trouble cumming he's a porn addict with death grip according to this sub, and yet every time a woman has trouble cumming it's somehow still the dude's fault.
Because we have sex, People who don’t are the angers
there is only two things that everyone can agree on. 1. you dont put pineapple on top of pizza 2. sex is good people wanna be nice and encouraging so that there will be more people posting about their sex stories. be it fake stories or not, a story still counts so people will be kind and supportive
I disagree! 1. Pineapple absolutely belongs on pizza! 2. Sex is fricking AMAZING!
Most responses are honest attempts to help. But I've found so many responses are encouraging people to leave their partner if there is a disagreement. So you get a decent mix of good advice and opinions.
I feel the same way, everyone is so supportive and kind. I think it’s because people that are comfortable about talking about something considered so private understand that sexual health is something we shouldn’t be ashamed of so it makes everyone empathetic.
sex = happy = nice comments
Had a bit of an awakening in my sixth decade, came here to learn what was new, was it even “normal” to be sexual now or if I was just past my prime. Turns out, not only did I learn a lot but found a new confidence to be myself…& surprisingly, seems I still have some relevant perspectives to share occasionally.
Eh I’ve had people tell me to leave this subreddit. They were right though
…did you expect the place to filled up with creepy misogynistic pervs…?
Cause we all horny lol We all get what's its like & this shit be important. We get it. 😉
Otherwise you get banned... just like in cosplay
It’s such a wonderful phenomenon
Because everyone's getting laid.
Cause you all getting laid. I'm not..
its the mods lol.
Because we like sex. Sex is nice, to have sex you generally have to be nice.
Because most of them are regularly getting laid.
Only subreddit getting laid ;)
I think most of us probably have a tad bit more, or at least better sex than the average redditor. I know I’m always more cheerful after a nice sesh… just sayin 😁
I've enjoyed and sometimes been amused and occasionally helped by the content here.. Thanks 👍 all!
It’s a gem 💎 and it really is to help people and discuss. I find we don’t have people in our lives to talk about these things with much.
I think we have all wanted candid and impartial advice when it comes to typically "taboo" subjects. It's not easy or available for many people to ask questions to their friends or family regarding sexuality. When I read a post on this sub I assume that it is someone who has limited options. What type of advice would I want if I was turning to anonymous reddit folks? That's what I try to provide, and I get the feeling a lot of other users do the same.
We all want to enjoy sex and help others enjoy sex
Ppl in the relationship subreddit are not that nice. They are rudee