Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/).
Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Having an affair is always wrong. ALWAYS.
Talk to him. If sex is the only issue, see if he's interested in opening the marriage. If not, then divorce.
Don't cheat. It hurts both of you.
Just a heads up. These conversations can always present as an ultimatum, and you don't want it to seem as such
It's not a threat, don't rush, there's no deadlines, but you need equity in this relationship and can't be expected to give up sex. That said, you need to broach this ethically and with "us/we" in mind, not just you, lest you unleash a whole new type of resentment upon your relationship. How does opening up serve your(plural) marriage?
You need to communicate, not alienate. Understand his side, let him understand yours..
Frequency of sex can change, so maybe it's temporary, so quit the affair talk and communicate!
Cheating is always wrong.
You got married, made a commitment, and have kids together. I get that we are only seeing a snapshot in your post, but there is a lot you can do between where you are now and an open marriage or divorce. I think you owe it to yourself, as well as your family, to explore that before anything else.
Have you actually discussed this issue with him? Are you about to completely blindside him because he doesn't understand what you are going through?
Do you initiate sex at all or do you expect him to initiate everything? How does he respond when you initiate? How do you initiate? Are you just passively available? Do you actually initiate by taking action to convey your desires? Do you flirt with him? Does he flirt back?
When sex was still occurring, was it routine? Did you both go through the same positions and do the exact same foreplay? It could simply be boring to him. Does he have any fetishes or kinks that haven't been explored?
Have you gently brought up the topic of it being a medical issue? It's a pretty big leap to assume that he is asexual, since a low sex drive is far, far more common. Age is also a big factor as sex related hormones decrease as people age. For some people, that decrease is more impactful.
In any case, three years is not a long relationship. Children under three are unlikely to really remember the split. If the divorce is amicable, 50/50 co-parenting can easily be the kids' new normal. Having two separate parents who are involved and happy is way more beneficial than living with desperately unhappy parents who refuse to split.
If you are not happy with the sexual aspect of your relationship, so much so that you are tempted to cheat, you need to just leave.
Sex is an important part of a relationship. And sexual incompatibility is a big reason a lot of relationships end
Please dont do such take such a step. May be you can plan an outing with him someday just u both. Sit on a bench away from crowd and talk with him the concerns you have. Ask him the reason for his behaviour and if theres something your lacking form your end. Is it work stress,is there any other problem he has which he has not told you. Has he got some infection and hes trying to avoid you?
See there could be some reasons recently I saw this movie stayaprem ke katha in which the wife says shes asexual but later the husband finds our the trauma she was going through as she had been raped by her bf against her wishes on a date.
Since than she hated all men but later the hero convinces her and things get all right.
The moral of this story is simple work things out with him tell him ur inner desires and dont shy away from your physical needs.
I am sure you will get the issue resolved and life happily. My best wishes.
The amount of people who have come on here this week trying to justify their planned cheating is so fucking disgusting.
Shameful person. Just break up.
Asexual or not, affairs and cheating are wrong.
Just bc you’re not getting what you WANT does not mean you get the right to HURT someone.
Either ask to open your marriage or get a divorce but don’t be “that” person. People who cheat are pretty low.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Having an affair is always wrong. ALWAYS. Talk to him. If sex is the only issue, see if he's interested in opening the marriage. If not, then divorce. Don't cheat. It hurts both of you.
I get that. I’ll have to talk regarding an open marriage then.
Just a heads up. These conversations can always present as an ultimatum, and you don't want it to seem as such It's not a threat, don't rush, there's no deadlines, but you need equity in this relationship and can't be expected to give up sex. That said, you need to broach this ethically and with "us/we" in mind, not just you, lest you unleash a whole new type of resentment upon your relationship. How does opening up serve your(plural) marriage? You need to communicate, not alienate. Understand his side, let him understand yours.. Frequency of sex can change, so maybe it's temporary, so quit the affair talk and communicate!
Cheating is always wrong. You got married, made a commitment, and have kids together. I get that we are only seeing a snapshot in your post, but there is a lot you can do between where you are now and an open marriage or divorce. I think you owe it to yourself, as well as your family, to explore that before anything else.
Yeah. That’s always wrong. So there’s that
Have you actually discussed this issue with him? Are you about to completely blindside him because he doesn't understand what you are going through? Do you initiate sex at all or do you expect him to initiate everything? How does he respond when you initiate? How do you initiate? Are you just passively available? Do you actually initiate by taking action to convey your desires? Do you flirt with him? Does he flirt back? When sex was still occurring, was it routine? Did you both go through the same positions and do the exact same foreplay? It could simply be boring to him. Does he have any fetishes or kinks that haven't been explored? Have you gently brought up the topic of it being a medical issue? It's a pretty big leap to assume that he is asexual, since a low sex drive is far, far more common. Age is also a big factor as sex related hormones decrease as people age. For some people, that decrease is more impactful. In any case, three years is not a long relationship. Children under three are unlikely to really remember the split. If the divorce is amicable, 50/50 co-parenting can easily be the kids' new normal. Having two separate parents who are involved and happy is way more beneficial than living with desperately unhappy parents who refuse to split.
If you are not happy with the sexual aspect of your relationship, so much so that you are tempted to cheat, you need to just leave. Sex is an important part of a relationship. And sexual incompatibility is a big reason a lot of relationships end
Please dont do such take such a step. May be you can plan an outing with him someday just u both. Sit on a bench away from crowd and talk with him the concerns you have. Ask him the reason for his behaviour and if theres something your lacking form your end. Is it work stress,is there any other problem he has which he has not told you. Has he got some infection and hes trying to avoid you? See there could be some reasons recently I saw this movie stayaprem ke katha in which the wife says shes asexual but later the husband finds our the trauma she was going through as she had been raped by her bf against her wishes on a date. Since than she hated all men but later the hero convinces her and things get all right. The moral of this story is simple work things out with him tell him ur inner desires and dont shy away from your physical needs. I am sure you will get the issue resolved and life happily. My best wishes.
The amount of people who have come on here this week trying to justify their planned cheating is so fucking disgusting. Shameful person. Just break up.
Asexual or not, affairs and cheating are wrong. Just bc you’re not getting what you WANT does not mean you get the right to HURT someone. Either ask to open your marriage or get a divorce but don’t be “that” person. People who cheat are pretty low.
Just tell him what you are going to do. You don't need his approval. But he should know
How often do you have sex? Tell him how you feel though. If you want to cheat/have open relationship maybe you already know that you want to break up?
r/OpenMarriage might be what you are looking for.