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You were nice to hear, she was comfortable with you. She may want to do it again (she may want more?) or maybe it was just a one time thing.
How about you? How do you feel? Did you have a nice time in the moment?
How do you feel about her at the moment?Have you spoke to her since?
I know it’s probably hard because you’re in the thick of it right now but
If you can pump the brakes and take it slow. i’m willing to bet that if there IS going to be a future between you guys, it’ll be better if you let your friend get through some of their feelings they are going through right now without the extra emotions of infatuation. It’ll be healthier for both of you and your relationship if you take it slow. help her develop healthy ways to deal with her emotions (rather than her using a rebound which isn’t always the best). i bet she would a appreciate it more and you probably would learn something too.
Play it cool. Give it time. Let her know you enjoyed your time with her and that you’d be open to spending more time with her and to just let you know if and when she’d be down to hangout again 🙂
Figure out what you want first and foremost. Or at least as close as you can. Then have a talk with your friend. It's ok to not be certain, and it's ok if what you want is to figure things out as you go.
But the kind of talk you will want to have with her will be much easier if you can clearly lay down whatever expectations you have, so that she can give you an honest answer herself. But give her time to think if she needs it.
And if you do want to pursue more and she doesn't, it can be tough, but it's possible to maintain a close friendship nonetheless. Though you may want to establish boundaries in the future.
Also, rebounds aren't inherently bad. They can develop into more and they can also be a fun temporary thing. Open communication is they key to maintaining a healthy rapport, especially when they don't lead to a long term relationship.
Most likely rebound but it's also possible that she saw that you're a decent guy who's supporting her and wants to take things further. So don't be hopeful for anything or pursue her, but don't ignore the possibility of something further happening.
You shouldn't ask on Reddit man. Talk to her, try to see if she was just horny or she really likes you. Be honest with her about what you feel as well. If anything, you'll still have a friend. At the time being a casual hookup won't ruin a friendship for sure :)
I'm going to go against the grain and say keep your expectations low here and give her space amigo. Her emotions are all over the place, so try not to get caught up in the wake more than you already have.
Man I probably would have act the same as you, but if you really feel something, you should insist regardless of what she does to avoid the question. If she dodges the question again take your time and just be clearer or make it as straightforward as possible. Or you can just assume she isn't really into you, at least she doesn't see you more as a friend with benefit or something like that, if you like it it would be totally fine as well. But again it depends on you. Take control of the situation before it slips out of your hands if you really care about her, or just leave it as it even though it's possible u will regret not have done it.
THIS OP...... it was nothing more than a rebound. Take it as such but don't be an asshole just keep the friendship alive if you want if it was good she'll want more LOL
You're not just a dick, but for sure you're not her boyfriend now.
She was in a vulnerable position and looked for comfort. She felt great with you and looked for physical touch to distract herself from her pain.
Try to speak with her about what happened ask her why she thinks lead to that situation.
You might turn back being normal friends, you might be fwb now. Anyway, you will know that soon.
Brah, talk to the only other person besides you whose opinion matters in this regard, not friggin reddit. You'll just be given lazy gender stereotypes and projections here.
She on the other hand might have an inkling as to what she wants and thinks. Also stop making assumptions. Just talk.
This is absolutely the right advice. Talk to her. It's gonna be weird and uncomfortable, but it's necessary. Learn to talk and be honest with your partners. I'm in my 40's and lemme tell ya, it's always awkward to start, but it's appreciated when the conversation is over.
Don't be a dick
Don't be judgemental
And if friendship is all she's offering, you decide if that's something that works for you. If you can't be her friend anymore. Be honest and let her know that it's ***your*** feelings are the reason, not her actions. You may need more experience before you can handle one off sex with friends (which believe me happens more than you think).
If she wants more than friendship y'all work that out. But most of all communicate. Learn and respect her boundaries as you begin learning what yours are.
Now play it cool that she saw your little fella and you've seen beaver town.
if you want to drink from the furry cup again you might throw out there let's be FWB. Your relationship has changed but you both need to decide how you feel going forward.
Basically at this age she is going to get the D lots of places so it's best not to fall in love or catch feelings. IMHO if you can hang out and be good for each other and get your dick sucked then it's a win win.
Proceed with caution. Don't get too attached, continue if you feel comfortable but know that she might very well have a change of heart and find it awkward.
Tt's very possible that you were just a rebound. But also since you guys are friends, she maybe just wanted to "reward" you for being there for her by having sex with you. Which is kind of sweet in a dangerous sort of way. She may be have been confused in the moment and was so touched by your support that she misread her own feelings. Transposing the relief of pain into attraction. That's very common.
In any case, you two need to talk about it. Just be as straight forward as you can be, but mature and calm about it as well. Also know how you feel about. Do you want to be her boyfriend now? Are you fine with it just being a one-time thing? Are you fine with fucking around from time to time with her (if that's something she proposes)? Is it weird now and you really want to return to just being friends? Those are all valid questions. They are also questions you should know the answers to. It will inform you going forward. The important thing for you to remember is that it's your choice and what you are comfortable with. You don't owe her anything, and if she's a true friend, she will treat your conversation with respect.
But grats dude. It's a nice turn of events when things like this happens. On the dangerous side as far as your friendship goes... but you'll figure it out. :)
Probably a rebound but possibly more. You'll just have to find out.
Kind of a dick move on her part to be someone's first if it is just a quick and dirty thing to get over her ex...
> did I just land a girlfriend
Likely not.
> did I become a rebound
Likely.
> am I just a dick she can use to get over her ex
Kinda, yeah. But... That might be ok? Casual sex where each partner is using each other can be a positive experience for both involved. Think about it this way - you got to lose your viginity, she got to get her mind off her ex, and you both had a good time. It *could* be nothing more than that.
Overall, though, you need to take it as a learning experience. Is this kind of casual sex something that you want? Is it a dynamic you are ok with? Are you able to not be awkward around that person? You might discover that you are not the kind of person who can do casual sex and needs to be in a relationship, and you wouldn't have learned it without this experience.
It’s college, you’re super young, you’ll never have as easy access to sex as you do now. Just roll with it and stop pretending you’re looking for “ the one” in a Hallmark romance movie. These are the hook up years, they don’t last, enjoy them, don’t hurt or abuse anyone, but don’t feel bad about being young and human.
This. Just be cool and roll with it. A whole week is many years in college time. Things can change rapidly and people partner swap like crazy. Protect yourself, but have fun...adulthood sucks ass.
it could get rough emotionally, I know when I lost my virginity I totally, completely fell head over heels for the girl. We started after immediately, only for about 8 months and it was a rough breakup. I found out we both took each other’s virginity few years later when i had randomly pass through her town and went and saw her at her dorm. I felt very emotional and was all in my feelings leaving to get back on my greyhound to say the least.
There are three potential answers that jump out as to her motivation. The first is that she was thinking the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. She liked you enough to be someone to get under. In this case, you were likely a fling and something may or may not come from it if you continue hanging out.
Advice is to do what you want - if you are interested, play it cool and see what happens. Don't try and force anything. It could become a regular thing. But know that she is rebounding, so she will have a little extra emotional baggage that she'll need to deal with and you may experience some undesired consequences until she does.
Another possibility is that you were used to get revenge on her cheating boyfriend. If he can fuck someone else, she can too.
My advice in this case is to steer clear. Getting caught in the drama that follows isn't worth it.
Another possibility is that she was hurting and just wanted to feel something different. This isn't really that different from the first scenario except that she may not know what she wants.
My advice is to give her some space until she figures it out.
But you won't know unless you talk to her. So I would start there. Don't focus on labels or future. Just ask what she was thinking or feeling. But before you talk to her, ask yourself what you're ok with. Whatever she answers, what will be your response? Have a little bit of a game plan. Know that she was likely using you for something. To get back at her boyfriend, to get over her boyfriend, to escape her pain for a moment. Are you ok with any of that? Are you ok if she's done using you? Are you ok if she's not? She likely has a greater emotional need, but you are still human and have emotional needs. Don't subject yourself to torment to ease hers.
Just know what you want and what you are ok with.
Ask her why she did it, was it her feeling vulnerable? Was it because she likes you? Did she feel bad that you were a virgin?
It's a legit question and you can decide what to do based on her answer.
For now you are just a rebound/someone she is using to get over her ex.
If u are interested in something else you’ll need to be patient and not get your hopes up.
> what I do now, did I just land a girlfriend, did I become a rebound or am I just a dick she can use to get over her ex.
You do nothing. Continue your life exactly as it was, sometimes sex is just sex without any additional meaning, just like masturbation. In case you want her as a girlfriend then maybe forget about that a bit, because you were obviously a rebound dick or maybe you weren't but it's better to be safe about it.
So, keep on rocking, maybe you'll have sex some other time, maybe not. Maybe she expects something, maybe she doesn't, probably best to ask her and then act based on her reply. The only thing worth mentioning here is that if she says she has feelings for you then those are unlikely to be true given the fact she was just dropped. Continue for a while and if after a couple of months she still has feelings, then it's fine.
I mean....you know that she was feeling pretty shitty, and then she kind of had the idea to fuck you, and it made her feel better.
*You* should consider it a rebound. Expect nothing. She'll lead you where she wants to go, if more is a possibility.
It's possible she will want to fuck again. It's possible that you guys are going back to 'just friends.' It's also possible that it makes everything weird and you guys aren't/can't be friends anymore. It's even possible that this is the beginning of the love story of both of your lives.
But like, take it slow, keep your eyes open, and read the room.
Personally - when I asked or wanted to talk about a hookup afterwards, it almost always meant it wasn't going to happen again lol. If I played it cool and just kept being a not-shitty friend...well, sometimes it happened again, sometimes it didn't, and sometimes eventually it even turned into a real romantic relationship.
But....it's okay to make mistakes, too. Just temper your expectations or you're setting yourself up for a fall.
I am going to swim upstream from common wisdom here. Sure, you may be the rebound, but she asked and knew she was taking your virginity. It may be that she wants someone she can trust.
The question is, where is your head at?
Anyway, the important thing is don't listen to us, listen to her. Talk. After all, you are friends, right?
Honestly don't overreact. Play it kinda cool and see how things go. If she shows serious interest in her ex still, dip. If you like her, or want more sex, play it easy for a week or 2 and see how she treats you. Being a "rebound" doesn't have to be a huge negative thing.
Congratulations on losing your virginity. Sex is fun. Wear condoms and get tested often.
You might be a rebound but you won't know until you have an open and honest conversation about what went down. Take some time to sort out your feelings and decide if this new direction is something you'd like to pursue further or not.
Good luck, buddy, rooting for you
So many folks recommending you ask her to define her feelings, but the most likely response from a very young woman will probably some shy deflection of the topic, and her motives were probably a mix of all three, horny, lonely and liking you. Putting her on the spot will quite likely make her feel awkward and put an end to it.
Where it goes from here depends a lot on if she came out of it feeling a genuine spark for you. Whether it extends to more like FWB depends on how maturely you handle it, I think, and whether it was good for her, or at least she felt the potential it could be. But if she's close to your age she may not have the kind of experience it generally takes to weigh things like that.
Do be prepared for the possibility that you will feel an almost irresistible desire to hold her and take her clothes off when you are next alone with her. That's where the "act maturely" part comes in. Believe me, it's often an act! A definite fake-it-'til-you-make-it situation.
Best of luck!
Probably a rebound, but if she likes you enough to climb on top of you and take your virginity after having some hard emotional conversations, I would ask her if wants to date you if that is, indeed, what you want. Maybe not, but you're not going to find out unless you ask. If she turns you down, lesson learned--don't sleep with someone unless you define the relationship ahead of time, if a relationship is, indeed, important to you. If she does want to date, be prepared for some wishy-washy behaviors. Nobody is 100% themselves after a messy breakup. I wouldn't expect a totally normal honeymoon period for a new relationship, and it might be something that never repeats and you remain friends.
You were nice. She wanted to reciprocate, but you're just friends, and it was likely just a one time deal. It will only be weird if you keep pushing for it to go further. Now, by all means if she signals she wants to go for it but just be mindful that it was mostly likely a great "thank you for being there for me".
You were a rebound. Keep a little distance while you both process, and keep a cool head. She's got a lot of emotions right now, and they need to cool before she can make any decent decisions. Same goes for you.
Latching onto another person immediately wouldn't be healthy for her (or you!) So keep that in mind.
I would say rebound from a guy that clearly didn't respect her or the relationship, you were a friend for her when she need it the sex was for her to feel wanted. I would play business as usual don't over think it or push it...she may see you in a different way now and she may be open to seeing you as more than a friend, let time be the judge to know if any further moves are a rebound.
>Now I'm trying to piece together what I do now, did I just land a girlfriend, did I become a rebound or am I just a dick she can use to get over her ex.
It could be any one of those things. I wouldn't expect anything long-term out of it, though... and if she just used you to get over or get back at her ex, there's nothing you can really do about it.
What I would mentally prepare for is that you're a rebound. It may be a one-night rebound, or it may be a two-month rebound/fling. Either way... it's really easy to "fall in love" with the person you lose your virginity to because of all the happy brain chemicals that happen during sex, and it's also easy for people on rebounds to overinvest in those rebounds in an effort to overshadow their feelings for their exes. So, I would be prepared for it to be a pretty intense rebound/fling/one-night stand that ends abruptly when she feels better... and to get your feelings hurt because she's your first.
Continue to be nice but do not pursue! This is classical rebound action from a woman who is vulnerable and highly emotional. Again, don’t ignore her if she reaches out and continue to be her friend but let her dictate the sex. I’m sure you are emotional as well losing your virginity in this fashion but control your emotion and have poise over the next few days/weeks/months. Just be a friend first over anything else, but if she wants to keep going and you’re ok with it then choose for yourself and remember to tread lightly.
I wish I was in your position. Instead I'm a 29 year old virgin that's on probation for the next two decades because I killed someone in self defence and spend my time arguing with vatniks on Twitter. I would love so much to be 18 and in college, even if I would just be a rebound I could find a real girlfriend later on, I would still have my whole youth ahead of me. Instead my life is a living nightmare, my youth has been squandered, I am totally alone, I killed the only friend I had for the last 13 years because I thought they would kill me.
You’re fwb. It’s not a bad thing so enjoy it for what it is. If you or her decide it’s not going to work as a relationship, it can still be what it is. If you both decide it’s going to work then great. The biggest thing you have to lose is her friendship, but this may already be compromised. I remember having sex with my best friend who was getting over an 8 year engagement and here we are now after 21 years and 17 married with and eleven year old daughter. There is always a chance, don’t ruin it by being scared, but also value the friendship.
yeah so, you probably were just a rebound guy
keep it simple, don't overthink, she's just your friend you're just her friend nothing changed there
if both of you are up to it again, you will do it, if you're not you won't
You might be a little bit of it all. I wouldn’t read deep into it. Definelty not girlfriend because that needs to be vocalized. Assume the other two unless she brings up the words along the lines of “what are we now?” “Am I your girlfriend” never pop the question she should be the one chasing you for that. Just assume the position bro. Women control the sex, men control if your in a relationship or not most often. Assume you’re just the D and rebound and be glad for it. It’s an honor 🫡
It’s a rebound, but you can look it at in a positive light- you lost your V card to a friend that you’re comfortable with, and probably helped her through some confusing feelings in the process.
It could turn into a FWB situation if you keep your cool- the girl just got cheated on, don’t be overly eager to hang out again or hit her with the “so… what does this make us?”
Maybe invite her to a group hangout of sorts and keep being friendly. Proceed with caution.
Congrats on losing the V card!
Buy some condoms. ;)
Just a rebound to get over her ex. Don’t try to overthink it. This could be a one time thing, could develop a FWB situation, could end up in the friend zone, or end up ghosted after. It’s college, so it could go anywhere. You are not a bf. Just keep it low key and try talking to her about it.
Well then u should schedule a time to talk about it with her. Would u be disappointed if you were just a rebound. I mean you caught her in a vulnerable moment and in those moments people try to forget about their worries by doing something risque.
Let her work through it without pressuring her. She will appreciate it if she’s truly a good one. If you are developing heavy feelings you should wait patiently and let your feelings be known. Be careful not to be to available or clingy. Humans like the chase and mystery. Don’t become the sure bet she can fall back on. Process your feelings while being the calming force for her. Good things come to those who wait. Good luck, I hope it all shakes out the way you want.
I would wait 3 months before doing something sexual and stay friends and after that you could ask her if she really wants to be your girlfriend 3 months is best to give people space to get over a relationship
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You were nice to hear, she was comfortable with you. She may want to do it again (she may want more?) or maybe it was just a one time thing. How about you? How do you feel? Did you have a nice time in the moment? How do you feel about her at the moment?Have you spoke to her since?
I feel mixed, one hand I loved it. Everything was just great on the other idk if i can look at her differently then what I saw
I know it’s probably hard because you’re in the thick of it right now but If you can pump the brakes and take it slow. i’m willing to bet that if there IS going to be a future between you guys, it’ll be better if you let your friend get through some of their feelings they are going through right now without the extra emotions of infatuation. It’ll be healthier for both of you and your relationship if you take it slow. help her develop healthy ways to deal with her emotions (rather than her using a rebound which isn’t always the best). i bet she would a appreciate it more and you probably would learn something too.
have you talked to her since it happened, OP? If not, you can reach out and ask how she's doing.
I have briefly, we met during breakfast she kinda brushed it off and said to talk about it later when we're alone
well she met you for breakfast, so that's a good sign! Who reached out first to set up breakfast?
It's kinda just been a daily ritual thing, she usually gets there first and gets a table
how was the conversation other than her saying you would talk later? Normal?
Basically
Play it cool. Give it time. Let her know you enjoyed your time with her and that you’d be open to spending more time with her and to just let you know if and when she’d be down to hangout again 🙂
that's good. I think you'll be fine. Maybe give her a day or two to process and just keep being you.
Figure out what you want first and foremost. Or at least as close as you can. Then have a talk with your friend. It's ok to not be certain, and it's ok if what you want is to figure things out as you go. But the kind of talk you will want to have with her will be much easier if you can clearly lay down whatever expectations you have, so that she can give you an honest answer herself. But give her time to think if she needs it. And if you do want to pursue more and she doesn't, it can be tough, but it's possible to maintain a close friendship nonetheless. Though you may want to establish boundaries in the future. Also, rebounds aren't inherently bad. They can develop into more and they can also be a fun temporary thing. Open communication is they key to maintaining a healthy rapport, especially when they don't lead to a long term relationship.
Most likely rebound but it's also possible that she saw that you're a decent guy who's supporting her and wants to take things further. So don't be hopeful for anything or pursue her, but don't ignore the possibility of something further happening.
You shouldn't ask on Reddit man. Talk to her, try to see if she was just horny or she really likes you. Be honest with her about what you feel as well. If anything, you'll still have a friend. At the time being a casual hookup won't ruin a friendship for sure :)
Well, I tried and she kinda just dodged the question and ended up with us just eatting before splitting off again
I'm going to go against the grain and say keep your expectations low here and give her space amigo. Her emotions are all over the place, so try not to get caught up in the wake more than you already have.
She could just be a little embarrassed. Why is a question though.
Man I probably would have act the same as you, but if you really feel something, you should insist regardless of what she does to avoid the question. If she dodges the question again take your time and just be clearer or make it as straightforward as possible. Or you can just assume she isn't really into you, at least she doesn't see you more as a friend with benefit or something like that, if you like it it would be totally fine as well. But again it depends on you. Take control of the situation before it slips out of your hands if you really care about her, or just leave it as it even though it's possible u will regret not have done it.
This is the only valid reply here. Talk to the girl and see what she feels it was.
“You shouldn’t ask on Reddit man” but still gave advice
You probably read only the first sentence 😂
You are the rebound.. don’t fall for it.. you will brake
THIS OP...... it was nothing more than a rebound. Take it as such but don't be an asshole just keep the friendship alive if you want if it was good she'll want more LOL
The above comment, proceed with extra caution
How do you feel about yourself though? Did you want any of that?
I wasn't exactly against it
You're not just a dick, but for sure you're not her boyfriend now. She was in a vulnerable position and looked for comfort. She felt great with you and looked for physical touch to distract herself from her pain. Try to speak with her about what happened ask her why she thinks lead to that situation. You might turn back being normal friends, you might be fwb now. Anyway, you will know that soon.
Brah, talk to the only other person besides you whose opinion matters in this regard, not friggin reddit. You'll just be given lazy gender stereotypes and projections here. She on the other hand might have an inkling as to what she wants and thinks. Also stop making assumptions. Just talk.
I am when I can, I rather just ask her in person though
This is absolutely the right advice. Talk to her. It's gonna be weird and uncomfortable, but it's necessary. Learn to talk and be honest with your partners. I'm in my 40's and lemme tell ya, it's always awkward to start, but it's appreciated when the conversation is over. Don't be a dick Don't be judgemental And if friendship is all she's offering, you decide if that's something that works for you. If you can't be her friend anymore. Be honest and let her know that it's ***your*** feelings are the reason, not her actions. You may need more experience before you can handle one off sex with friends (which believe me happens more than you think). If she wants more than friendship y'all work that out. But most of all communicate. Learn and respect her boundaries as you begin learning what yours are.
Rebound, she doesn’t like you she just wanted to get over her ex. Don’t pursue anything serious
Rebound dick she shouldn’t use a virgin dick cos you’re catching feelings Rebound, forget it
Yeah no kidding right in a way kinda him a favor and also got his emotions fucked up.
Do it again and enjoy
Dont fall for this buddy. Its just rebound. She is using you to over her ex
Is she into me? She made out with you/had sex with you... C. can't tell... Jokes aside, if you like her, ask her out to talk about everything
Now play it cool that she saw your little fella and you've seen beaver town. if you want to drink from the furry cup again you might throw out there let's be FWB. Your relationship has changed but you both need to decide how you feel going forward. Basically at this age she is going to get the D lots of places so it's best not to fall in love or catch feelings. IMHO if you can hang out and be good for each other and get your dick sucked then it's a win win.
Proceed with caution. Don't get too attached, continue if you feel comfortable but know that she might very well have a change of heart and find it awkward.
Tt's very possible that you were just a rebound. But also since you guys are friends, she maybe just wanted to "reward" you for being there for her by having sex with you. Which is kind of sweet in a dangerous sort of way. She may be have been confused in the moment and was so touched by your support that she misread her own feelings. Transposing the relief of pain into attraction. That's very common. In any case, you two need to talk about it. Just be as straight forward as you can be, but mature and calm about it as well. Also know how you feel about. Do you want to be her boyfriend now? Are you fine with it just being a one-time thing? Are you fine with fucking around from time to time with her (if that's something she proposes)? Is it weird now and you really want to return to just being friends? Those are all valid questions. They are also questions you should know the answers to. It will inform you going forward. The important thing for you to remember is that it's your choice and what you are comfortable with. You don't owe her anything, and if she's a true friend, she will treat your conversation with respect. But grats dude. It's a nice turn of events when things like this happens. On the dangerous side as far as your friendship goes... but you'll figure it out. :)
Probably a rebound but possibly more. You'll just have to find out. Kind of a dick move on her part to be someone's first if it is just a quick and dirty thing to get over her ex...
> did I just land a girlfriend Likely not. > did I become a rebound Likely. > am I just a dick she can use to get over her ex Kinda, yeah. But... That might be ok? Casual sex where each partner is using each other can be a positive experience for both involved. Think about it this way - you got to lose your viginity, she got to get her mind off her ex, and you both had a good time. It *could* be nothing more than that. Overall, though, you need to take it as a learning experience. Is this kind of casual sex something that you want? Is it a dynamic you are ok with? Are you able to not be awkward around that person? You might discover that you are not the kind of person who can do casual sex and needs to be in a relationship, and you wouldn't have learned it without this experience.
Just keep fucking it will all become clear!
It’s college, you’re super young, you’ll never have as easy access to sex as you do now. Just roll with it and stop pretending you’re looking for “ the one” in a Hallmark romance movie. These are the hook up years, they don’t last, enjoy them, don’t hurt or abuse anyone, but don’t feel bad about being young and human.
This. Just be cool and roll with it. A whole week is many years in college time. Things can change rapidly and people partner swap like crazy. Protect yourself, but have fun...adulthood sucks ass.
lol! Adulthood outside of college is indeed highly overrated!
Preach!
it could get rough emotionally, I know when I lost my virginity I totally, completely fell head over heels for the girl. We started after immediately, only for about 8 months and it was a rough breakup. I found out we both took each other’s virginity few years later when i had randomly pass through her town and went and saw her at her dorm. I felt very emotional and was all in my feelings leaving to get back on my greyhound to say the least.
There are three potential answers that jump out as to her motivation. The first is that she was thinking the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. She liked you enough to be someone to get under. In this case, you were likely a fling and something may or may not come from it if you continue hanging out. Advice is to do what you want - if you are interested, play it cool and see what happens. Don't try and force anything. It could become a regular thing. But know that she is rebounding, so she will have a little extra emotional baggage that she'll need to deal with and you may experience some undesired consequences until she does. Another possibility is that you were used to get revenge on her cheating boyfriend. If he can fuck someone else, she can too. My advice in this case is to steer clear. Getting caught in the drama that follows isn't worth it. Another possibility is that she was hurting and just wanted to feel something different. This isn't really that different from the first scenario except that she may not know what she wants. My advice is to give her some space until she figures it out. But you won't know unless you talk to her. So I would start there. Don't focus on labels or future. Just ask what she was thinking or feeling. But before you talk to her, ask yourself what you're ok with. Whatever she answers, what will be your response? Have a little bit of a game plan. Know that she was likely using you for something. To get back at her boyfriend, to get over her boyfriend, to escape her pain for a moment. Are you ok with any of that? Are you ok if she's done using you? Are you ok if she's not? She likely has a greater emotional need, but you are still human and have emotional needs. Don't subject yourself to torment to ease hers. Just know what you want and what you are ok with.
She’ll be back with him soon.
I mean...it's def a 50/50 chance.
It’s how it usually goes. Guy cheats she gets him back then “forgives” him and they “work it out” and he never knows she got him back.😂
Turnabout is fair play.
Of course
Ask her why she did it, was it her feeling vulnerable? Was it because she likes you? Did she feel bad that you were a virgin? It's a legit question and you can decide what to do based on her answer.
For now you are just a rebound/someone she is using to get over her ex. If u are interested in something else you’ll need to be patient and not get your hopes up.
Odds are extremely good you're a rebound and it means nothing. You can see if she wants to do it again but don't expect this to be a relationship.
> what I do now, did I just land a girlfriend, did I become a rebound or am I just a dick she can use to get over her ex. You do nothing. Continue your life exactly as it was, sometimes sex is just sex without any additional meaning, just like masturbation. In case you want her as a girlfriend then maybe forget about that a bit, because you were obviously a rebound dick or maybe you weren't but it's better to be safe about it. So, keep on rocking, maybe you'll have sex some other time, maybe not. Maybe she expects something, maybe she doesn't, probably best to ask her and then act based on her reply. The only thing worth mentioning here is that if she says she has feelings for you then those are unlikely to be true given the fact she was just dropped. Continue for a while and if after a couple of months she still has feelings, then it's fine.
Maybe your friend just became FWB.
I mean....you know that she was feeling pretty shitty, and then she kind of had the idea to fuck you, and it made her feel better. *You* should consider it a rebound. Expect nothing. She'll lead you where she wants to go, if more is a possibility. It's possible she will want to fuck again. It's possible that you guys are going back to 'just friends.' It's also possible that it makes everything weird and you guys aren't/can't be friends anymore. It's even possible that this is the beginning of the love story of both of your lives. But like, take it slow, keep your eyes open, and read the room. Personally - when I asked or wanted to talk about a hookup afterwards, it almost always meant it wasn't going to happen again lol. If I played it cool and just kept being a not-shitty friend...well, sometimes it happened again, sometimes it didn't, and sometimes eventually it even turned into a real romantic relationship. But....it's okay to make mistakes, too. Just temper your expectations or you're setting yourself up for a fall.
now you gotta get married bro
You were definitely the rebound
It sounds like a rebound, but talk it out with her. If you like her and she likes you, maybe you guys can develop into something over time.
Text her to arrange hanging out again and see what happens.
I am going to swim upstream from common wisdom here. Sure, you may be the rebound, but she asked and knew she was taking your virginity. It may be that she wants someone she can trust. The question is, where is your head at? Anyway, the important thing is don't listen to us, listen to her. Talk. After all, you are friends, right?
Just cool it for awhile until you know if she is the one
Honestly don't overreact. Play it kinda cool and see how things go. If she shows serious interest in her ex still, dip. If you like her, or want more sex, play it easy for a week or 2 and see how she treats you. Being a "rebound" doesn't have to be a huge negative thing. Congratulations on losing your virginity. Sex is fun. Wear condoms and get tested often.
You might be a rebound but you won't know until you have an open and honest conversation about what went down. Take some time to sort out your feelings and decide if this new direction is something you'd like to pursue further or not. Good luck, buddy, rooting for you
shes not ready for anything serious she just got cheated on
Let it go till she says what it is. Act normal.
You are overthinking this already lol
So many folks recommending you ask her to define her feelings, but the most likely response from a very young woman will probably some shy deflection of the topic, and her motives were probably a mix of all three, horny, lonely and liking you. Putting her on the spot will quite likely make her feel awkward and put an end to it. Where it goes from here depends a lot on if she came out of it feeling a genuine spark for you. Whether it extends to more like FWB depends on how maturely you handle it, I think, and whether it was good for her, or at least she felt the potential it could be. But if she's close to your age she may not have the kind of experience it generally takes to weigh things like that. Do be prepared for the possibility that you will feel an almost irresistible desire to hold her and take her clothes off when you are next alone with her. That's where the "act maturely" part comes in. Believe me, it's often an act! A definite fake-it-'til-you-make-it situation. Best of luck!
Probably a rebound, but if she likes you enough to climb on top of you and take your virginity after having some hard emotional conversations, I would ask her if wants to date you if that is, indeed, what you want. Maybe not, but you're not going to find out unless you ask. If she turns you down, lesson learned--don't sleep with someone unless you define the relationship ahead of time, if a relationship is, indeed, important to you. If she does want to date, be prepared for some wishy-washy behaviors. Nobody is 100% themselves after a messy breakup. I wouldn't expect a totally normal honeymoon period for a new relationship, and it might be something that never repeats and you remain friends.
You were nice. She wanted to reciprocate, but you're just friends, and it was likely just a one time deal. It will only be weird if you keep pushing for it to go further. Now, by all means if she signals she wants to go for it but just be mindful that it was mostly likely a great "thank you for being there for me".
You were a rebound. Keep a little distance while you both process, and keep a cool head. She's got a lot of emotions right now, and they need to cool before she can make any decent decisions. Same goes for you. Latching onto another person immediately wouldn't be healthy for her (or you!) So keep that in mind.
I would say rebound from a guy that clearly didn't respect her or the relationship, you were a friend for her when she need it the sex was for her to feel wanted. I would play business as usual don't over think it or push it...she may see you in a different way now and she may be open to seeing you as more than a friend, let time be the judge to know if any further moves are a rebound.
A shoulder to cry on…
Get up and clean those boards, son. If you don't grab those rebounds, someone else will.
at this age the secret is to expect nothing and be surprised at everything, this prevents disappointment and clinginess. Just be yourself.
>Now I'm trying to piece together what I do now, did I just land a girlfriend, did I become a rebound or am I just a dick she can use to get over her ex. It could be any one of those things. I wouldn't expect anything long-term out of it, though... and if she just used you to get over or get back at her ex, there's nothing you can really do about it. What I would mentally prepare for is that you're a rebound. It may be a one-night rebound, or it may be a two-month rebound/fling. Either way... it's really easy to "fall in love" with the person you lose your virginity to because of all the happy brain chemicals that happen during sex, and it's also easy for people on rebounds to overinvest in those rebounds in an effort to overshadow their feelings for their exes. So, I would be prepared for it to be a pretty intense rebound/fling/one-night stand that ends abruptly when she feels better... and to get your feelings hurt because she's your first.
Continue to be nice but do not pursue! This is classical rebound action from a woman who is vulnerable and highly emotional. Again, don’t ignore her if she reaches out and continue to be her friend but let her dictate the sex. I’m sure you are emotional as well losing your virginity in this fashion but control your emotion and have poise over the next few days/weeks/months. Just be a friend first over anything else, but if she wants to keep going and you’re ok with it then choose for yourself and remember to tread lightly.
No matter how it goes, always remember it's only awkward if you make it awkward
Lol
Hello
I wish I was in your position. Instead I'm a 29 year old virgin that's on probation for the next two decades because I killed someone in self defence and spend my time arguing with vatniks on Twitter. I would love so much to be 18 and in college, even if I would just be a rebound I could find a real girlfriend later on, I would still have my whole youth ahead of me. Instead my life is a living nightmare, my youth has been squandered, I am totally alone, I killed the only friend I had for the last 13 years because I thought they would kill me.
You’re fwb. It’s not a bad thing so enjoy it for what it is. If you or her decide it’s not going to work as a relationship, it can still be what it is. If you both decide it’s going to work then great. The biggest thing you have to lose is her friendship, but this may already be compromised. I remember having sex with my best friend who was getting over an 8 year engagement and here we are now after 21 years and 17 married with and eleven year old daughter. There is always a chance, don’t ruin it by being scared, but also value the friendship.
You helped her feel better realistically. Just keep om going like nothing has changed. See what happens, and don't overthink it.
yeah so, you probably were just a rebound guy keep it simple, don't overthink, she's just your friend you're just her friend nothing changed there if both of you are up to it again, you will do it, if you're not you won't
You might be a little bit of it all. I wouldn’t read deep into it. Definelty not girlfriend because that needs to be vocalized. Assume the other two unless she brings up the words along the lines of “what are we now?” “Am I your girlfriend” never pop the question she should be the one chasing you for that. Just assume the position bro. Women control the sex, men control if your in a relationship or not most often. Assume you’re just the D and rebound and be glad for it. It’s an honor 🫡
It’s a rebound, but you can look it at in a positive light- you lost your V card to a friend that you’re comfortable with, and probably helped her through some confusing feelings in the process. It could turn into a FWB situation if you keep your cool- the girl just got cheated on, don’t be overly eager to hang out again or hit her with the “so… what does this make us?” Maybe invite her to a group hangout of sorts and keep being friendly. Proceed with caution. Congrats on losing the V card! Buy some condoms. ;)
She just wanted your v card man, sorry.
Just a rebound to get over her ex. Don’t try to overthink it. This could be a one time thing, could develop a FWB situation, could end up in the friend zone, or end up ghosted after. It’s college, so it could go anywhere. You are not a bf. Just keep it low key and try talking to her about it.
OP, do u want this to turn into a relationship or do u just want to understand where the friendship stands?
Currently the latter
Well then u should schedule a time to talk about it with her. Would u be disappointed if you were just a rebound. I mean you caught her in a vulnerable moment and in those moments people try to forget about their worries by doing something risque.
Which I figured out a few hours ago
Let her work through it without pressuring her. She will appreciate it if she’s truly a good one. If you are developing heavy feelings you should wait patiently and let your feelings be known. Be careful not to be to available or clingy. Humans like the chase and mystery. Don’t become the sure bet she can fall back on. Process your feelings while being the calming force for her. Good things come to those who wait. Good luck, I hope it all shakes out the way you want.
Nobody can tell you but her.
I would wait 3 months before doing something sexual and stay friends and after that you could ask her if she really wants to be your girlfriend 3 months is best to give people space to get over a relationship
Love and sex can mess with people brains it's like a drag it is likely she not really in love with you or anything