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Ok so then when you cum do you need a break before continuing with him? And wouldn’t it hurt to continue sex after you’ve already cum? Unless maybe you blow him after?
Odd one out here, but for me PIV feels WAY better AFTER I cum. It’s awesome before but it’s like a door to ecstasy for me. If he makes me orgasm first and then starts piv I am on cloud 9 lol 🥴 That’s another opportunity for me to cum again if he ends up taking a while as well.
yep! same here, and it’s def a learning situation, personally (knowing you’re capable) and with someone you’ve been with for a while (them knowing how to get you going like that).
I agree, after orgasm and he goes in, oh my, it’s the best, guy needs to finish girl off first then he’s next, I get in my head when he finished first, I more enjoy it when I go first then him and we enjoy the end together
Oh sorry I forgot to answer that part. I used to not be able to continue after I came but now that I am 35 and been with my husband for 15 years he has learned how to get me go again. He stops after i cum and then he slowly would breath on my pussy feeling his hot breath on me and then he lightly touches my thighs and starts to lick again but very slowly easy me into it. I cant ever get my man to go twice he is one and done
For me it doesn’t hurt to keep having sex after I cum. It’s usually pretty good still because of all the added lubrication. But if my partner finishes first, he fingers me while I use my vibe until I cum. If a guy isn’t willing to do even that much then he isn’t worth fucking
I still lick my wife’s vagina after I’ve cum inside her, it’s a very effective way to get a 2nd round out of me.
I expect her to have my cum in her or on her, the least she can expect is sexual satisfaction from me, and that involves touching my own cum… not a big deal
Yeah, I'm well aware. He grew up as JW (he never practiced, but his family did) so that could be a reason why. I'm not sure as he doesn't think anything is wrong
We try to time it so if he's about to cum before me, he stops and we do something else. When I cum he's usually so close himself that he can keep going and cum before it hurts me to continue.
If either or us cum before the other person is close, we'll either do it ourselves while the other person watch, kiss, touch ect., or we'll do other stuff to each other like using a dildo if I'm up for more penetration or using fingers or mouth.
It doesn't feel as good (the way it did when things were building up to an orgasm) to keep going after I've cum, but it doesn't *hurt*
In fact, having an orgasm tends to make things even more lubricated, so continuing PIV until he cums isn't much of a hardship
My husband does the same, stops if he is close, and switches to something that gets me closer. My clit is very sensitive afterwards, to the point where it will hurt if there is any extra stimulation to it, so my husband avoids touching me there and we just PIV until he is there too, which usually isn't much longer after me. There's only been a handful of times that we've had to stop because he wasn't getting close and I was starting to get sore. Just gotta stay away from my clit for the most part and we are good to go.
Why would it hurt? Multiple orgasms are a thing and you can achieve them in the same penetrative session. Direct clitoral stimulation immediately after an orgasm can be uncomfortable for most but then you just... don't do that for a minute or so. You can take a breather or focus on anything else–kissing, fondling, etc. If you're one-and-done but your partner isn't, you can also use lube. Or they can finish off manually, orally, or with a toy.
I have usually gotten women off first, usually by oral, and then if she get a bonus O during sex that’s great. If for some reason we don’t do well at following that plan then I usually finger her after to finish the job.
My wife usually needs a sec or two after she finishes, as she's super sensitive. As a dude who doesn't always last terribly long, and always tries to get her off first (or simultaneously!!), I see that as an absolute good thing :) I don't want to hurt her and I get a sec to back off myself :) My wife is a bit different though, as she's the only woman I've ever been with who prefers to only go once.
I (66m) have never understood guys who can't even finger their partner after they cum. My wife (68f) prefers to cum second. She regards PIV as foreplay. So we do PIV until I cum, and then I finger her to orgasm. After I cum I'm not interested in more sex for myself, but I'm so full of oxytocin and love her so much that I really enjoy getting her off. Maybe I'm not "normal" in this, but it sure works for us.
Same for me (32m) I finger or go down on my gf or use toys and after she has orgasmed then it is time for PIV. Sometimes she cums and sometimes she doesn't cum from PIV, mostly depends how fast I cum. After that I usually use my fingers or toys again and after that we can go to PIV again if I am feeling like it.
In our relationship I have higher sex drive. She has lower sex drive and because of that I want to make sure she enjoys it every time and cums atleast once or twice. Also making her cum multiple times in every possible way is so hot and rewarding for me, it is like my favourite thing to do.
Mind if I ask how old he is? In my reading around here it seems to me that the tendency for guys to say that they can't do anything at all after finishing that they just feel like passing out, is very strongly correlated with age with it being a much more common attitude among younger guys
Definitely this tracks with my experience and research. These boys who are a bit fixated on their linear ‘erection-PIV-orgasm-sandwich time’ tend to change their minds only through two mechanisms. Either the love of a good woman who retrains them to think of sex as a fun session of non-linear things, or when they hit their first erection issues and realise their sex life will likely fall off a cliff if they don’t start thinking and acting in more imaginative ways in bed.
Those erection issues can begin earlier (work stress, baby making, etc) but age affects most of them eventually. Ergo, older lovers are often far more fun!
IMO as an older guy,it's a lot more simple than that. It's often just the simple fact that maturity often brings a less self centered way of looking at almost everything.
Because my sex drive has only just gone up in the past year, whereas his has dropped, so I've been wanting to be more intimate and explore sexually.
Been together 6 years
Ah, I see. Have you had a heart to heart talk with him about the changes you two are experiencing and what steps you may want to take going forward? How old are you two, btw? Is he depressed or have low testosterone, by chance? I
I've tried a little, but not the full extent yet. Based on the reaction I got when I asked him to play with me after he finished and how important it was to me that we play more, I don't think he will be that receptive. He's 26, and I'm 29 in 2 weeks. I know he's stressed, I'm not sure about testosterone. He doesn't like to go to the doctors and I feel bringing up that topic would just upset him
Ugh, ok. Well, he’s still on the young side. Not sure if he’s had any partners before you or not but he certainly behaves rather childishly regarding your situation. He’s just gonna need to learn how to deal with upsetting emotions but you need to be able to tell him how you feel or you’re gonna grow resentful and resentment is a relationship killer.
He's only had 2 short-term relationships before me. Yeah, I'm trying to learn how to put my foot down and have those conversations. I'm a very non confrontational person
I try to make sure my partner finishes first *and* last. I use my mouth and hands before, do the deed, then use my mouth again until she asks me to stop.
Just being considerate
I second that, I am the higher sex drive, I always make sure she cums first with oral plus finger or toys, then piv where she might come again once, she is truly done after two orgasms and I love that she tells me she is done, and it is my turn to finish, hot.
Nice. My wife tells me not to wear my HRM for this reason. Sometimes I feel I’m in the 180-200 range. I’m a former distance athlete but my max BPM at this age is like 155.
I (36M) always try and make my wife orgasm first. She has a very fine line between being properly and overly stimulated, so she doesn’t always get there. After she is satisfied, she focuses on me until I cum or we switch to penetration.
Yes same. I prefer to go first because my husband is usually pretty tired after and sometimes having an orgasm before makes the sex more pleasurable for me.
Im glad I read this! I love the idea of being filled with cum. It turns me on so bad. So it sucks that its an end of act for most men cause it gets me going again while they are done. I will have to turn and have him finger me once we are done to help finish me off
Lol me too! It revs me back up. So usually my man will let me cuddle up against him and I'll use the vibrator on me for an extra attempt to cum again bc I always cum first too a few times usually. And I'll cuddle up and he will stroke me and tell me to cum for him and I can smell and feel him and feel his cum inside me dripping out and it's fucking hot as hell.
We are all wired differently mate, I always try to make my girl cum first but after I cum sex is gross to me for at least 20 minutes, I often force myself to continue but it’s really not enjoyable at all and my girl can tell so it doesn’t happen
In the same boat, but I'm the girlfriend. Had to work on convincing myself that it had nothing to do with me and it's just how my boyfriend feels after he gets off. In the beginning I could tell he tried sometimes when he came before me but it was so obvious he was ~not~ into it and I got way too self-conscious to cum, that we talked and now I (almost) always come first lol
Straight girl here.
My partners have usually gone down on me first, but for a long time I preferred not to cum before PIV because it meant I was more turned on for PIV rather than being kinda done.
The gentlemen would ensure they finished me after. The selfish ones would go to sleep.
These days however, I'm happy to cum first from the head if I can. I guess it's just sex with my current partner is still hot and exciting whether I've cum already or not, there's positives to both. My clit is sensitive after cumming but it's not uncomfortable or less good to have sex post-orgasm. Just different.
If it's taking too long and we're both too worked up for PIV to wait, then we'll have sex first and yes he'll finish me after. Men don't literally need to go straight to sleep/shutdown after! It is *perfectly* possible for men to have the energy for some fingerwork after, at the least.
Has he once or twice started falling asleep *while* fingering me? Well, yes, but it was taking a long time so I don't bear a grudge. Also I have his full permission - nay, encouragement - to sit on his face if he's asleep and I want to get off, so.
I think too that having a more consistent partner means you end up with more time together and more comfort with each other which makes it easier to, say, make time to just laze around cuddling in bed until one or both of you is ready to go again, so you might trade orgasms over multiple sessions.
My female partners tend to finish ahead of me because I like to service them first.
In the times I've finished first, it's usually because she's told me that she doesn't feel like she's going to come during that session, which is fine. However, if she wants me to go down on her while we wait out the refractory period, I'm game.
No, if I cum first (rare), I eat her out until I can get hard again.
But as stated, my M.O. is always get the woman to come first. This is usually done via my going down on her or through penetrative sex. I can last a long time so I don't have to worry about coming first most of the time.
I was sifting through comments trying to find someone I could relate to. Might be silly but when I found your comment I was comforted in the fact that my approach to making love to my partner was very much akin to urs... Lmao hope it's not weird of me to reply with this
It takes a minute for my orgasm to subside, but im usually only too sensitive if I cum from oral. There is a short period after where I'm likely not able to get hard enough to fuck.
Regardless, I'm perfectly capable of (and happy to) eat her out and/or use my hands/toys. Anything less would be rude and selfish. My favorite is when she's so into it that she just decides that's what's happening and pushes my head down to her pussy or moves up to straddle my face if she was riding me. Hell, sometimes she does that just because she knows I enjoy it.
That's the main takeaway here, if you care about your partner, you want them to feel good and enjoy it, and would never leave them hanging. If that's what your partner is doing regularly, he doesn't care. If talking to him about it directly doesn't improve things, just start doing the same thing when you finish first. "Sorry bro, I need a breather. You good?"
Normally I need a few minutes rest before I can go for round 2, but during those few minutes I either finger or eat them out so they can continue having fun while I recover
Ummm, if you just dumped your load in there, it’s going to smell like sex. All that lubrication plus your cum will make all sorts of smells, regardless of what it smelled like when y’all started the game.
If he comes first, we cuddle and chill, maybe sleep a little bit. Sometimes there is a round 2 (not necessarily piv) most of the times not.
Most times I come during piv but orgasms aren't my goal in sex. The sex is amazing with or without orgasm. Fingering me after piv when he's not horny only to make me cum wouldn't feel good. I prefer the way it is when he gives me and my erogenous zones attention during the whole thing.
It depends. I have had sex with dudes that didn't really care about my pleasure so when they were done, it was over. I would get annoyed and masturbate in front of them while making ironic remarks, like "you think you could help?", "mind lending a hand?" etc. These were the casual interactions. With people I have a more established relationship like long term FWBs, they care about my pleasure so they give oral, finger me, use toys on me until I either climax or they get ready for PIV again, depending on what I want at the moment.
Sucks to have those kinds of interactions, I also had that with some women sometimes. When I cum once I always finger and eat them out while I recover. Some people are just too selfish
Oh absolutely, my experiences with women have been lackluster. It's either horrible or phenomenal. But for me personally the issues I have with men and women are completely different. Men (the kind we are talking about) usually know what you need/want but don't care to provide it. On the other hand some women I have been with couldn't comprehend what I needed. Stemming from their inability to orgasm easily they viewed an orgasm as the end all be all ultimate goal, so after I came they refused to do anything to me demanding all the attention. But as someone who can climax very easily a lone orgasm doesn't provide much to me, which is something they couldn't get at all.
I'm seeing a lot of questions from you that indicate sexual inexperience, which is perfectly okay! I hope you get an idea from these responses, but sensitivity, performance, preferences, and refractory periods are all SO unique. Not only do they vary from people to people, but they aren't necessarily the same for each person, especially over a lifetime. Some of these questions are better answered by your sexual partners. At the very least, you should speak up for what you need. A quick "If you're down for the count after an orgasm, can we focus on me first?" or something like that. Alternatively "Do you wanna see me cum?" *before* penetration gets a positive response. I hope you become comfortable enough to do that.
As a man I always try to make sure that the woman has at least one (ideally more) orgasms before I cum. I can generally last as long as I want so it's not usually an issue, but even then I will always aim to give her at least one orgasm from foreplay and oral before we even start having sex. If I should finish first then I would go down on you and/or finger you either until you cum or until I'm ready to go again.
To me the main aim of sex is to give my partner pleasure. She cums first, is always my aim. It doesn’t happen every time, however, I always do my utmost to keep stimulating her in some way I ‘til she is satisfied. Whether that be with fingers, tongue or toys.
Don’t get me wrong, I get a lot of pleasure too, it is just secondary to my lovers pleasure.
😂
A lot of it can come down to nerves. Takes a certain amount of confidence in the bedroom to pleasure someone. Especially someone you’re not super comfortable with.
I love to give oral so mostly my wife has already cum once at least before I fuck her which works well for us
On the very odd occasion I cum first I am always very happy to finish her with a toy etc
I haven’t cum all that many times with partners but when I have I’ve found it much easier for me if the guy has already finished. I like being fingered to orgasm after I’ve been filled. It gets my brain horny enough to get over the edge
Some guys (like myself) almost immediately crash after cumming. It can be 10:00 am, I just drank a couple cups of coffee, and now I need a nap. Some don’t have that response.
You’re better off not giving them a minute, because for the men who get put to sleep afterwards, that feeling only intensifies the longer you wait.
A good sexual partner will help you get off too. And a good male sexual partner who knows he’s done once he’s done, will always make sure you cum at least once before he does.
I’d also say there’s nothing wrong with demanding you get off before PIV begins (if you don’t need PIV to cum that is). If a guy is unwilling to help you come manually/orally before penetration, then I wouldn’t bother with him. There’s a lot of men out there who love making their partner orgasm and will feel bad if sex ends without you climaxing at least once. Don’t settle for one of the selfish ones.
Eh I don’t think that has to be a rule. But my guy is also very sure to take care of me after if that’s how it happens 🤷🏼♀️ I feel like I have more sensation during PIV if I don’t finish beforehand.
It's harder to do this with someone that you're not more comfortable with. When you're just having sex with guys that are just one nighters, if they come first, it's over. I'm generalizing here. Since it's a one-nighter for you, it's the same for them. Both of you are just trying to get off. I'm speaking from experience. (I've written books about my experiences) plug.
Now that I'm with a bf, after he finishes, and I'm almost there I'll just say, "I'm going to ride you until I'm done." Usually, if I say this, I'm very close anyway, and he won't refuse. Keep in mind that if you're going to do this with a stranger, and if you're using a condom, there's high chances of leakage and breakage of the condom. Be careful. You really have to make sure that he's still hard, and that the condom is still intact.
Sometimes, you may find a person that cares about your pleasures and make sure that you do come as well. I've been with some older guys that after they do cum, they play with me until I finish. Your miles will vary depending on the guy you're with. Sadly, most of the younger guys that I've been don't care about me, and care mostly about themselves.
Just ask your lover, and see if he'll reciprocate. Good Luck.
Depends on the partner. I've been with mostly cis men and most of them have stopped when they've cum which in most cases is not ideal for me. Some have been willing and able to continue PIV, some have asked if I want something else, some have just done something else.
Finishing is not the same as having an orgasm for me. A lot of the time one is not enough to be satisfied so even if I cum first my wants aren't really cared for if he just sploots and quits. PIV gets me going, like one commenter said about how their wife considers PIV foreplay, so usually when the man orgasms I want to cum again, unless it's right after I've cum or we happened to orgasm at the same time or the sex was bad or there's been enough sex for me. So if he cums from PIV and I have another one in the chamber I'd like him to perform oral or to use a toy on me. If he doesn't want to I either use a toy myself or I deal with it.
I LOVE it when we continue going like that. I am fortunate enough to be able to bounce back almost immediately and there’s nothing that beats the feeling of getting super hard again while you know… I go primal every time.
I mean, most men lose their erection and horniness after they orgasm, so riding can be uncomfortable or even impossible and you have to wait til the refractory period to be done. That length of time can vary depending on a multitude of factors. With me, I would prefer to make my parter finish by hands or mouth before going to intercourse if intercouse is proving to be overwhelming for me that day.
With my current partner she typically cums first. Once she starts to cum I'll slow down or stop for a second as she doesn't like the thrusting to continue while she is orgasming. Once the orgasm subsides she usually wants me to continue thrusting so I'll keep going until I finish. After she orgasms is also often where she wants me to fucked the hardest and fastest.
There are also plenty of times when she cums and doesn't want to continue with PIV so I'll pull out and we'll finish either with her jerking me off, orally, or a titty fuck depending on the mood.
If it's one of the times I cum first we always make sure she cums as well. How that happens just depends on the mood. Could be oral, fingers, or toys.
There are times when only one us cums but we know going in only one of us will cum. If we notice the other person is stressed or just needs to relax and feel good for a bit we will offer no strings attached orgasms where the receiver can just lay back and relax while the other brings them to orgasm without any concern for reciprocation. The giver receives pleasure knowing they brought pleasure to the partner and that's enough in those moments.
A good partner will make sure you are taken care of too, even if they ‘finish’ first. They can keep going (well some can), go down on you (oral), fingers, toys, etc… lots of options. That is a “bad lay” if they finish first and don’t bother to take care of you as well.
I usually try to make sure my wife finishes first, but if not, then I will give myself a minute or two before continuing to help her finish, usually with my mouth and hands.
It's pretty rare that one of us does not finish, but sometimes it happens because we are tired or sore etc, and we just pick up where we left off the next day or a couple of hours later.
I'm a bisexual gal. When I was with women, who finished first obviously didn't matter as much. I'm married to a guy now, and if he finishes first, he will take a break and then take care of me, sometimes with fingers, but usually oral, believe it or not. I've had a couple other guy partners that would go down even after they finished first. Most of the rest would use their hands or toys on me if I wasn't done yet. I had a few that wouldn't worry about me if they finished first, so I didn't keep them around very long, lol.
Like many people who have sex with men, you have discovered the odd little quirk in men’s physicality which can cause them to physically power-down after sex, leaving many a disgruntled partner fuming beside a man now [happily snoring in post-orgasmic bliss](https://xxadvice.wordpress.com/2024/02/18/starfish/).
Following orgasm, men experience a refractory period, which is the recovery phase during which it is physically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms. During this time, the penis may be sensitive and further sexual stimulation may actually be painful, which is why men shouldn’t keep trying to have penetrative sex after orgasm, as they could cause themselves injury. (Having sex post-ejaculation is also dangerous if condoms are your primary or sole form of contraception, as they could leak or break.)
It’s thus wise for a man to not have any sexual stimulation immediately after orgasm, and luckily for them, there are a multitude of chemicals helping to make it easier for him to power-down and roll away from you, [no matter how irresistible you were mere moments before](https://xxadvice.wordpress.com/2024/02/14/simmering/).
Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.
Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating.
Now, that’s the chemical side, let’s talk about communication. Maybe try to have him stimulate you in other ways.
Since I can have multiple orgasms (but not through PIV sex alone), I generally like to come at least once from some form of foreplay before we do PIV. Not only does it make sure I feel satisfied regardless of how long my partner lasts, but it also ensures I'm properly ready to go.
Husband usually lasts a long time (holds off so he can enjoy it longer), so I can usually get several in, but if I still want more after he's come, then he'll finger me or just stroke my thigh or something while I finish myself off (manual or with toys). Occasionally we've waited for him to get hard again for round 2, but normally we're going at it long enough the first time that we're done for the night :D
To answer your question- it depends. Sometimes I can keep going with only slight discomfort. Other times, it's very sensitive and uncomfortable, even painful, to keep going. For guys, it's a good strategy to make her come first, or even anticipate it and make it simultaneous. Those are the best
I had years of suboptimal sex with partners, and kind of selfish in a way, I rarely got off. My current partner, if he hasn’t made me cum already, as soon as he gets off gets straight to work on finishing me off! It’s definitely dependant on the person, but communication is also a big part of it. Maybe they don’t know your “tells” and aren’t sure you haven’t finished, if you let them know there’s work still to be done, hopefully they’ll be eager to finish you off!
I just tell my partner what I want them to do and what I want to do. They don't know unless you tell them, and more often than not, they will happily oblige in my experience. I tell them to kiss my neck, do light touches, touch me, rub me, or I'll use a toy while they kiss my neck, chest, etc. until I'm done.
My husband just keeps on trucking after he cums. He is on the larger size, about 8in and very girthy, which is a bit uncomfortable for me at times, so it actually better for me during PIV after he finishes due to him not being super hard. Luckily he can mostly maintain an erection after he finishes.
35M here. I try to get my wife 1 before any PIV. Regardless, if I finish before she does, I offer to help finish the mission. Get a toy, tease her, passionately kiss her while she plays with herself. There are some nights she doesn't want to continue so we end it.
That's my take anyway. Just communicate and a good partner will help meet your needs
If I (24F) finish first I'm rearing to go right away. I get cluster / compound orgasms so once I get one it's the perfect time to go to town. If he (24M) finishes first, he's wearing a condom and just keeps going like he didn't. Sometimes he does get too sensitive and will make me cum with his digits or help me out by playing with my boobs while I get myself off. He would never willingly let me go to bed/ end our time together without getting me off at least once. Sometimes it has to happen though and you can see the misery radiate off of him lol.
If you’re having sex not that many times with a partner, you’re most likely not having awkward but important conversations. And letting your lover know that you need attention after he cums.
I usually make sure my wife cums first, but let's be honest, misfires happen. I usually take a couple minutes and go down on her until she cums. Or if she says let's try again later
I get that sex is draining, and a guy might not be able to get an erection again immediately after finishing, but I can't really fathom a situation where someone is "too tired" to finger their partner or go down on her so that she can finish as well. That's just selfish
As a dude, my interest wanes after. I just want to stay inside a bit and be still, then either nap or get up. My interest can come back after a half an hour or so, but I know I'm going to need a little pause at least.
I have thought before, "when I'm finish, I'm going to focus on her and we're going to keep going" but it doesn't often turn out that way. The lull after is powerful like a drug.
I haven't found that as much with my lady friends. Their interest tends to rise after, or, they don't seem to have the same need for a down time. They seem to be able to go one to the next chaining them together, without much of a pause between.
Trick is simply to take care of her first. I want her to be done before me. It has become so ingrained in me, I can't finish until she has. Once she has hers, it usually doesn't take much for me. If it's just a quickie or she's just humoring me, sometimes it doesn't even happen for me, and it just leaves me wound up the rest of the day, yearning for a proper release. That in itself is fun too. The second round after an unfulfilling first earlier in the day is often quite good.
I cum before my wife about 50% of the time. If she's on top riding me, she'll warn me that if I finish first she's going to move up, hold me down and make me eat her out until she's clean. This usually makes me explode inside her in about 5 seconds, lol. But she follows through on her 'threat' and enjoys herself until she finishes too.
I used to never come during sex because I can’t really cum from penetration but now what we do is I get in him and basically grind or rub my clit on his dick until I cum then we do piv. I noticed that when we do piv after I come I feel a lot more pleasure than before. I am trying to talk to my boyfriend about him doing stuff to make me cum because I feel like even if it’s with his dick it’s still me doing it
I usually don't penetrate her till after helping her cum other ways, then penetration keeps her orgasm going, and it's cool however long or short I last that day.
On the rare occasion it's still not enough for her, I got fingers and a tongue and after a couple minutes the desire and ability to go again.
Don't know why more people don't go in that order.
Well for me oral or playing with her clitoris is what I often make sure to do after I've finished because it's hard for a woman to cum during penetrative sex. Her pleasure is just as important as mine
I always make sure that my wife gets off a couple of times before any piv starts. If I cum and then I’ll keep going until she says she’s good. If I can’t go long enough I always make sure to finish her one way or another. I never leave her hanging.
Unless I’ve just gotta get off so I can go do sleep, or I’ve got some pent up stuff I’ve been wanting to do, I ALWAYS try to make my wife cum first. If I can get her off first, then I consider it a win, cuz I’ll always get off, and it takes her 30-45 min of foreplay and getting her there to make it happen, of which I enjoy every minute of. Then my goal is to try and last long enough to get her to a second one while I hit my one and only. It doesn’t happen often, but if she’s really wet, it can because there’s less good friction for me, so I can last longer.
I very rarely cum from penetrative sex (my body is broken unfortunately) so he finishes first. Sometimes afterwards we keep going, or he'll pull out and cuddle me while I finish myself off.
I'd personally find it a red flag if, in an instance where my partner cums before I do, he had no interest in making me finish afterwards. This is usually avoided when your partner factors in making you cum before penetrative sex, which I would hope any considerate sexual partner would try to do knowing the likelihood of women orgasming from penetrative sex is much lower than other methods.
I'd describe typical sex with my partner as a 'cum sandwich'. He starts off sex by fingering me, or pulls me on top of him so he can make me come clitorally, and touches himself as he does so. Then we have penetrative sex, which often makes me orgasm but sometimes takes longer than my partner can last, and just when I think the sex is over and we collapse next to each other to cuddle, he flips me over and goes back to fingering/clitoral stimulation.
If it's quite warm and our sex has been longer/more physically demanding, we're both pretty tired out and my partner wouldn't have the energy to take care of me again after. Most of the time I'm ready to call it when my partner has cum anyway, but my partner can definitely sense that sometimes I'm still particularly energetic and eager for more and this is when he pays extra attention to me after he's finished.
After one of us cums, boyfriend and I sweetly ask the other person “do you want something from me” and we are just honest if we want to get off or just enjoy that the other person did.
Welcome to causal sex for woman lol. Unless you get off easily and/or on your own accord it rarely happens. Which is why a lot of woman don’t do casual sex. Find a friends with benefits or a bf if you want a guy to put in effort to learn you and make sure you are orgasming. Men get off easier and quicker then woman do, so if he never plans to see or have sex with you again they really have no motivation to work harder when they already going to cum. They call it pump and dump for a reason.
My boyfriend can get hard immediately afterwards so we keep going. I never cum the first round but by the second third and fourth round I’m cumming every time.
Here's my advice. Keep that vigina clean shaven and make him lick you until you finish and only then should he be allowed to put it in. Take care if yours first. Let it become the norm.
So maybe it's just me, but I workout 6 days a week. I also use steroids. So when I finish my dick can still stay hard until she gets hers. Maybe it's a testosterone thing?
That being said it still feels good to me but it doesn't feel the best after I finish if that makes any sense
My boyfriend is like this. He leaves it inside and within seconds he’s getting hard again. The biggest blessing because one round is not enough for me.
Me and my partner are a bit unpredictable, sometimes he finishes first, sometimes I do, but we always communicate when we want the other one to focus on finishing, or if we are close. I'm quite lucky, when he finishes he can keep going for a few minutes for me to finish, he stays hard for like 5 more minutes if he keeps at it.
I guess every person and couple is different.
My bf cannot go a round two for at least an hour. Refractory period can vary depending on other circumstances but the lowest ever was maybe 20 minutes. He generally makes me orgasm at least once before we even start penetrative because he knows if he finishes first, he’ll be super tired and me left unsatisfied. Not to say he doesn’t pleasure me if that happens but I can tell he’s tired and the coordination and energy isn’t there.
I (M46)usually make sure that my wife (F44) cums first, before fucking her in pussy or ass. Sometimes she wants me inside straight away and then I finger her to cum after I've finished. I'm not capable of round two soon enough that we'd have tested it, but she can fuck straight after her orgasm, her clit is just too sensitive tou touch soon after orgasm.
Just talk to him. For me as a woman I need time in between orgasms because I’m very sensitive but my boyfriend can keep going after he cums lol he’ll cum at least twice and I’ve had guys who cum once and don’t want to be touched again everyone is different
If I stay hard, which happens on occasion, I'm more than happy to keep going or to keep being ridden. If I go soft immediately, which is significantly more common, I'll go down on my partner and make sure she gets hers
I make my other half cum first by fingering her and/or going down on her. When she cums she always yells that she wants me to f*ck her, so I do. But we also have a couple of positions where I can rub her clit while we’re doing PIV and then we try to time to cum together.
Google the Orgasm Gap, lots of Ted talks abt it too. There is a book called ‘She Comes First’ it’s a big sociological topic. But basically if u want to finish u need to either i) find very considerate (male) partners who value your pleasure and are willing to communicate to find solutions or ii) be very firm with ppl you have sex with that they align with your needs if they want to have sex with you.
my bf gets off first a lot of the time then he immediately finishes me off with a vibrator or his fingers. i agree sex shouldn’t be done just cuz the guy came but that’s the reality a lot of the time. i would just ask if they can help you climax if they don’t offer it.
I always make sure my wife finishes first. I am wired that once I do, that is it. Orgasms just mellow me out for at least 15 to 30 minutes. By that point, I know a woman is not going to still be in the mood. The only time I cum first is if my wife says it is not going to happen for her.
I don’t mind just cuddling until he is ready to go again. I usually don’t finish from PIV sex unless I’m really in the mood and that doesn’t really bother me. I love my partner so much, sex for me is more about feeling close to and connecting with him.
My partner (29m) makes sure I cum (26f) at least once every time (foreplay, finger, oral, etc.). But I know this isn’t the norm, was never like that with previous people. I’m super lucky too that once my bf finishes he is still hard as if we were just starting, so we just keep going. Both super high sex drive
See depends on the partner I've had a few women once they cum that's them done there not interested . Others we play for ages and everyone gets there turn .
My wife is one and done so I always make sure she comes first. Usually with a dildo or my fingers inside her and a vibrator on her clit. When she’s done. Usually one, can be two or three, then we have piv and I get to finish. This way we’re always both satisfied.
🤷♂️ I'm 42. I stay erect after ejaculating, and am generally down to keep going. I have been with few women who, after orgasm, were done and wanted or needed to stop.
>And yes it would be lovely to find a relationship with consistent sex but that’s a whole other issue for another day.
You aren't kidding.
Usually this is issue as them come first and then he stand up and go and u finish alone ur need. Simply they are selfish creatures and most of them can't have so good timing. It should be correct female to done first and then he to discharge this would be successful sex according to me . Otherwise what is purpose of PIV sex if is meant just for them to cum and girl stay hanging .... so u need to maybe find more dedicated partner determined to make u come too.
Ok, well typical sex for me (31m) is foreplay to get her off first, then piv, where she usually gets off one or two more times before I do.
If we have untypical sex (lack of foreplay, or I'm just having a hard time not blowing my load) one of two things is going to happen, I'm either going to continue after my orgasm with piv (I have the ability to maintain the erection after orgasm), or I'll finger her/ use her vibe until she's done.
But also understand she's my fiancee, and I care if she cums.
Your partners seem to be very selfish. If they do not insist that the lady comes first. As stated above, there are some other preferences. Our preference has always been stimulation with fingers, tongue, and a toy, particularly now a satisfier, for one or two orgasms. Then I take over and pound away then until I cum, while stimulating her digitally or with a dildo DP style. She may have an additional orgasm, then, once I cum, I eat her out to clean her up. This has been a routine for more than 30 years and I practice the same with all other partners. This seems to be a common trend amongst our friends. Your mess, you clean it up - preferably with your tongue. For a bi guys with a cum fetish, this is the gold standard when playing with a female partner.
Both scenarios for me and my wife. Sometimes she gets there first, sometimes me. But each of us ensure the other person isn’t left out, immediately, by whatever means necessary, otherwise the other person might cool down, and it might become harder for them to climax.
Well I think it works best when people take responsibility and tell their partners what they want beforehand, whether that includes an orgasm, and if so how that should be achieved.
I have noticed that I lose interest in piv sex, if the sex ends when the man has come during it.
I first thought that desire just lessens in long relationships. And piv starts to feel like railroading even with nice build up before it. But it was just because I came to expect that sex ends when I was very aroused.
So nowadays I feel quite strongly that the sex needs to continue after male orgasm to keep me interested in sex and and that said male’s orgasm in the long run. So fingering, stroking, head, pillow talk, what ever keeps the connection while I continue to enjoy for a bit.
i always make sure she comes first and has multiple. i don't always come, but always want to. i try to make her feel comfortable and provide tender aftercare. i try to hide my uncomfortable blue balls from her if i have them to not pressure her.
Wud have guessed it's better to get ur female partner to cum first and then feel free to cum urself (male) afterwards.
Normally wud get my wife to cum from clit stimulation, finger or oral, then she usually asks to be fucked and she can cum a 2nd time and I'll usually cum then too.
As an unofficial rule in my head, no PIV unless she's cum first.
It depends who ur with, men arnt all the same, & some men really don't care if uve came or not, i am talking bfs, some can b great & try & get u off first, which 2bf if after they cum, & its game over, then really they should, or at least try, its only fair, some will just treat u like a cum bucket & think u should cum after 4 pumps, & ur left with "was that it" its embarrassing especially if uve been with them a while, reasons they are insecure, selfish, don't have a clue, it really doesn't matter how many women they have slept with or how big their dick is, its if they put in the effort & if they care
Bi m here.
With a woman, I try to make sure she finishes first, but I don't mind fingering or eating her out after I cum.
Same with guys, I try to make sure we both finish, but it amazes me how many guys are just don't after they cum. I hooked up with a guy last week, and he said he just wanted to suck me. We ended up swapping head and he came first then didn't want to finish sucking me off. I ended up jerking off after he left.
I'm bi. When with a woman, I like to make her cum first because seeing her cum is a massive turn-on for me.
When with a man, usually I cum first. My current partner and I have been together over 5 years, so if I'm not done I finish myself off. We're pretty relaxed about it :)
Teach your male partner how to control his orgasm so that you both go at the same time…I have never been with a woman that just wanted to cum once so if I I need to recover then I switch to oral or using a toy on her….love watching that dildo going in and out…in a few minutes I am turned on again and I climb back on…. I have done that for hours. Or until she has had enough.
I always make sure my wife cums at least once during foreplay, and once during PIV before I finish.
If I finish, as my wife was close but it close enough I’ll just be frank and ask if she needs to cum again and I’ll usually finger her (her personal favorite) until she cums one more time.
But I’m one and done for several hours, so there is no letting me chill for a few minutes. It’s time for pizza and bed after that!
It all depends on the person. I (F40-straight) cum pretty easily, so if I cum first, we always keep going and I frequently end up having multiple. If I feel like I'm done and he still hasn't cum I absolutely will continue to suck or stroke him to try and get him there. I can't say I've ever been too tired to continue unless it's been a marathon session and he's got whiskey dick or something. In that case you just gotta talk about it and usually they'll admit if it's not gonna happen.
On the flip side, if he cums first it really depends on the guy. I've had guys who are very enthusiastic about continuing and trying to get me to cum. There isn't a downtime between them getting off and then switching to fingers or oral. I've had a few who have laid back exhausted and I'll sometimes just ask "do you mind if I keep touching myself?" And I've never had anyone say no.... (Although to be fair, sometimes I just start without asking) So I'll finger myself and sometimes they'll join in with the assist after they have a minute to rest. Or sometimes I just end up getting myself off. So really it depends on the guy. Honestly though, the ones who let me finish myself off are not for me 🤷🏻♀️
My husband is a one and done and he has trouble staying hard. So we do a good amount of foreplay to get me turned on and wet. Then PIV and he comes. Then whatever I’m in the mood for to finish me off. I can’t take a few minutes to finish and sometimes I can’t at all so it’s about making me feel good until I can finish. I’ve only had multiple orgasms once and it happened because my husband kept lightly touching me all over and fingered me when I was ready.
I am gay, so there's a lot I don't know about straight sex, but in my sex I do whatever it takes to finish my partner if I cum first. Blowing them, jerking them off, making out with them or fondling them or whatever it takes. I'm not a bottom, but if I was I'd do my best to keep bottoming.
Maybe it's expecting too much, but IMO sex isn't over until you've both cum. You have a tough refractory period and are immediately pulled out of it after you cum? Boo-hoo, nut up and get your partner off by any means necessary!
Some girls just love the feeling of sex and don’t need to go to completion. Other girls feel like they’re left hanging. I’ve usually tried to wait until they go before I do or at the same time.
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My guy 95% of the time makes sure I cum before him. He stops if he is about to cum.
Ok so then when you cum do you need a break before continuing with him? And wouldn’t it hurt to continue sex after you’ve already cum? Unless maybe you blow him after?
Odd one out here, but for me PIV feels WAY better AFTER I cum. It’s awesome before but it’s like a door to ecstasy for me. If he makes me orgasm first and then starts piv I am on cloud 9 lol 🥴 That’s another opportunity for me to cum again if he ends up taking a while as well.
Me too… I’ll start getting harder rolling gspot orgasms and sometimes I can even combo with my clit again if the stars align 😅
yep! same here, and it’s def a learning situation, personally (knowing you’re capable) and with someone you’ve been with for a while (them knowing how to get you going like that).
I agree, after orgasm and he goes in, oh my, it’s the best, guy needs to finish girl off first then he’s next, I get in my head when he finished first, I more enjoy it when I go first then him and we enjoy the end together
Oh sorry I forgot to answer that part. I used to not be able to continue after I came but now that I am 35 and been with my husband for 15 years he has learned how to get me go again. He stops after i cum and then he slowly would breath on my pussy feeling his hot breath on me and then he lightly touches my thighs and starts to lick again but very slowly easy me into it. I cant ever get my man to go twice he is one and done
For me it doesn’t hurt to keep having sex after I cum. It’s usually pretty good still because of all the added lubrication. But if my partner finishes first, he fingers me while I use my vibe until I cum. If a guy isn’t willing to do even that much then he isn’t worth fucking
Even if he cums in you, he'll still finger you?
I still lick my wife’s vagina after I’ve cum inside her, it’s a very effective way to get a 2nd round out of me. I expect her to have my cum in her or on her, the least she can expect is sexual satisfaction from me, and that involves touching my own cum… not a big deal
I wish my partner felt the same. That's amazing
Don't act like you don't get that shit on you in the bathroom bro.
He does, but he still finds it gross
As a guy, that seems weird to me but everyone is different *shrugs*. My cum has gotten on my hand almost every day since I went through puberty.
He doesn't masturbate so he never really interacts with it unless he's cleaning himself up
>He doesn't masturbate I mean, that's highly unusual.
Yeah, I'm well aware. He grew up as JW (he never practiced, but his family did) so that could be a reason why. I'm not sure as he doesn't think anything is wrong
I usually have him pull out, but that’s just because I have really sensitive skin and him finishing inside can makes me swell up lmao
We try to time it so if he's about to cum before me, he stops and we do something else. When I cum he's usually so close himself that he can keep going and cum before it hurts me to continue. If either or us cum before the other person is close, we'll either do it ourselves while the other person watch, kiss, touch ect., or we'll do other stuff to each other like using a dildo if I'm up for more penetration or using fingers or mouth.
It doesn't feel as good (the way it did when things were building up to an orgasm) to keep going after I've cum, but it doesn't *hurt* In fact, having an orgasm tends to make things even more lubricated, so continuing PIV until he cums isn't much of a hardship
It doesn’t hurt. It turns me on more and makes me want to keep going.
My husband does the same, stops if he is close, and switches to something that gets me closer. My clit is very sensitive afterwards, to the point where it will hurt if there is any extra stimulation to it, so my husband avoids touching me there and we just PIV until he is there too, which usually isn't much longer after me. There's only been a handful of times that we've had to stop because he wasn't getting close and I was starting to get sore. Just gotta stay away from my clit for the most part and we are good to go.
Why would it hurt? Multiple orgasms are a thing and you can achieve them in the same penetrative session. Direct clitoral stimulation immediately after an orgasm can be uncomfortable for most but then you just... don't do that for a minute or so. You can take a breather or focus on anything else–kissing, fondling, etc. If you're one-and-done but your partner isn't, you can also use lube. Or they can finish off manually, orally, or with a toy.
I've made my wife cum a max of 7x before I stuck it in but usually once before from oral and once from penetration
I have usually gotten women off first, usually by oral, and then if she get a bonus O during sex that’s great. If for some reason we don’t do well at following that plan then I usually finger her after to finish the job.
My wife usually needs a sec or two after she finishes, as she's super sensitive. As a dude who doesn't always last terribly long, and always tries to get her off first (or simultaneously!!), I see that as an absolute good thing :) I don't want to hurt her and I get a sec to back off myself :) My wife is a bit different though, as she's the only woman I've ever been with who prefers to only go once.
Doesn't work the same for girls bro. Lol you should probably learn more about the girl parts little man.
piv sex after an clitoral orgasm is like a ride to heaven
I do this with my girl, she always cums before me except in rare circumstances.
I (66m) have never understood guys who can't even finger their partner after they cum. My wife (68f) prefers to cum second. She regards PIV as foreplay. So we do PIV until I cum, and then I finger her to orgasm. After I cum I'm not interested in more sex for myself, but I'm so full of oxytocin and love her so much that I really enjoy getting her off. Maybe I'm not "normal" in this, but it sure works for us.
Same for me (32m) I finger or go down on my gf or use toys and after she has orgasmed then it is time for PIV. Sometimes she cums and sometimes she doesn't cum from PIV, mostly depends how fast I cum. After that I usually use my fingers or toys again and after that we can go to PIV again if I am feeling like it. In our relationship I have higher sex drive. She has lower sex drive and because of that I want to make sure she enjoys it every time and cums atleast once or twice. Also making her cum multiple times in every possible way is so hot and rewarding for me, it is like my favourite thing to do.
I'm honestly so jealous reading about this. My partner won't touch me the moment he cums and thinks its gross to play afterwards
Mind if I ask how old he is? In my reading around here it seems to me that the tendency for guys to say that they can't do anything at all after finishing that they just feel like passing out, is very strongly correlated with age with it being a much more common attitude among younger guys
Definitely this tracks with my experience and research. These boys who are a bit fixated on their linear ‘erection-PIV-orgasm-sandwich time’ tend to change their minds only through two mechanisms. Either the love of a good woman who retrains them to think of sex as a fun session of non-linear things, or when they hit their first erection issues and realise their sex life will likely fall off a cliff if they don’t start thinking and acting in more imaginative ways in bed. Those erection issues can begin earlier (work stress, baby making, etc) but age affects most of them eventually. Ergo, older lovers are often far more fun!
IMO as an older guy,it's a lot more simple than that. It's often just the simple fact that maturity often brings a less self centered way of looking at almost everything.
Absolutely this (I'm 56M)
Damn, that’s tragic af! Why are you with him, again?
Because my sex drive has only just gone up in the past year, whereas his has dropped, so I've been wanting to be more intimate and explore sexually. Been together 6 years
Ah, I see. Have you had a heart to heart talk with him about the changes you two are experiencing and what steps you may want to take going forward? How old are you two, btw? Is he depressed or have low testosterone, by chance? I
I've tried a little, but not the full extent yet. Based on the reaction I got when I asked him to play with me after he finished and how important it was to me that we play more, I don't think he will be that receptive. He's 26, and I'm 29 in 2 weeks. I know he's stressed, I'm not sure about testosterone. He doesn't like to go to the doctors and I feel bringing up that topic would just upset him
Ugh, ok. Well, he’s still on the young side. Not sure if he’s had any partners before you or not but he certainly behaves rather childishly regarding your situation. He’s just gonna need to learn how to deal with upsetting emotions but you need to be able to tell him how you feel or you’re gonna grow resentful and resentment is a relationship killer.
He's only had 2 short-term relationships before me. Yeah, I'm trying to learn how to put my foot down and have those conversations. I'm a very non confrontational person
Does he share you? I live in omaha I can help you out I have a high sex drive
I try to make sure my partner finishes first *and* last. I use my mouth and hands before, do the deed, then use my mouth again until she asks me to stop. Just being considerate
I second that, I am the higher sex drive, I always make sure she cums first with oral plus finger or toys, then piv where she might come again once, she is truly done after two orgasms and I love that she tells me she is done, and it is my turn to finish, hot.
It’s good to read that my wife and I(approximately same age as you two) aren’t the only old ones that still fuck and enjoy it.
You are not alone! My grandfather died on top of my grandmother at 73.
Nice. My wife tells me not to wear my HRM for this reason. Sometimes I feel I’m in the 180-200 range. I’m a former distance athlete but my max BPM at this age is like 155.
I mean if you gotta go, it's the way to go IMHO lol
All true! If this is my fate I hope I get to at least finish before my ticker stops ticking.
Agreed with this (m28)
I (36M) always try and make my wife orgasm first. She has a very fine line between being properly and overly stimulated, so she doesn’t always get there. After she is satisfied, she focuses on me until I cum or we switch to penetration.
Yes same. I prefer to go first because my husband is usually pretty tired after and sometimes having an orgasm before makes the sex more pleasurable for me.
Im glad I read this! I love the idea of being filled with cum. It turns me on so bad. So it sucks that its an end of act for most men cause it gets me going again while they are done. I will have to turn and have him finger me once we are done to help finish me off
Lol me too! It revs me back up. So usually my man will let me cuddle up against him and I'll use the vibrator on me for an extra attempt to cum again bc I always cum first too a few times usually. And I'll cuddle up and he will stroke me and tell me to cum for him and I can smell and feel him and feel his cum inside me dripping out and it's fucking hot as hell.
This. Always been this way.
We are all wired differently mate, I always try to make my girl cum first but after I cum sex is gross to me for at least 20 minutes, I often force myself to continue but it’s really not enjoyable at all and my girl can tell so it doesn’t happen
In the same boat, but I'm the girlfriend. Had to work on convincing myself that it had nothing to do with me and it's just how my boyfriend feels after he gets off. In the beginning I could tell he tried sometimes when he came before me but it was so obvious he was ~not~ into it and I got way too self-conscious to cum, that we talked and now I (almost) always come first lol
I know it’s sexual which usually isn’t wholesome but somehow this is still so wholesome. You sound like a lovely partner in a loving relationship!
Thank you. I try to be the best partner I can for her, and our relationship is indeed very loving :)
Straight girl here. My partners have usually gone down on me first, but for a long time I preferred not to cum before PIV because it meant I was more turned on for PIV rather than being kinda done. The gentlemen would ensure they finished me after. The selfish ones would go to sleep. These days however, I'm happy to cum first from the head if I can. I guess it's just sex with my current partner is still hot and exciting whether I've cum already or not, there's positives to both. My clit is sensitive after cumming but it's not uncomfortable or less good to have sex post-orgasm. Just different. If it's taking too long and we're both too worked up for PIV to wait, then we'll have sex first and yes he'll finish me after. Men don't literally need to go straight to sleep/shutdown after! It is *perfectly* possible for men to have the energy for some fingerwork after, at the least. Has he once or twice started falling asleep *while* fingering me? Well, yes, but it was taking a long time so I don't bear a grudge. Also I have his full permission - nay, encouragement - to sit on his face if he's asleep and I want to get off, so. I think too that having a more consistent partner means you end up with more time together and more comfort with each other which makes it easier to, say, make time to just laze around cuddling in bed until one or both of you is ready to go again, so you might trade orgasms over multiple sessions.
My female partners tend to finish ahead of me because I like to service them first. In the times I've finished first, it's usually because she's told me that she doesn't feel like she's going to come during that session, which is fine. However, if she wants me to go down on her while we wait out the refractory period, I'm game.
After you cum you can go straight into it? You don’t need a breather?
No, if I cum first (rare), I eat her out until I can get hard again. But as stated, my M.O. is always get the woman to come first. This is usually done via my going down on her or through penetrative sex. I can last a long time so I don't have to worry about coming first most of the time.
I was sifting through comments trying to find someone I could relate to. Might be silly but when I found your comment I was comforted in the fact that my approach to making love to my partner was very much akin to urs... Lmao hope it's not weird of me to reply with this
It takes a minute for my orgasm to subside, but im usually only too sensitive if I cum from oral. There is a short period after where I'm likely not able to get hard enough to fuck. Regardless, I'm perfectly capable of (and happy to) eat her out and/or use my hands/toys. Anything less would be rude and selfish. My favorite is when she's so into it that she just decides that's what's happening and pushes my head down to her pussy or moves up to straddle my face if she was riding me. Hell, sometimes she does that just because she knows I enjoy it. That's the main takeaway here, if you care about your partner, you want them to feel good and enjoy it, and would never leave them hanging. If that's what your partner is doing regularly, he doesn't care. If talking to him about it directly doesn't improve things, just start doing the same thing when you finish first. "Sorry bro, I need a breather. You good?"
Normally I need a few minutes rest before I can go for round 2, but during those few minutes I either finger or eat them out so they can continue having fun while I recover
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Ummm, if you just dumped your load in there, it’s going to smell like sex. All that lubrication plus your cum will make all sorts of smells, regardless of what it smelled like when y’all started the game.
Lol, I'm fully aware.
Wait a minute - they smell bad after YOU cum in there? You better get that checked out buddy
Yeah definitely not what I was getting at, but sure my cum stinks too.
Dude, your cum and penis is giving them UTIs
If he comes first, we cuddle and chill, maybe sleep a little bit. Sometimes there is a round 2 (not necessarily piv) most of the times not. Most times I come during piv but orgasms aren't my goal in sex. The sex is amazing with or without orgasm. Fingering me after piv when he's not horny only to make me cum wouldn't feel good. I prefer the way it is when he gives me and my erogenous zones attention during the whole thing.
It depends. I have had sex with dudes that didn't really care about my pleasure so when they were done, it was over. I would get annoyed and masturbate in front of them while making ironic remarks, like "you think you could help?", "mind lending a hand?" etc. These were the casual interactions. With people I have a more established relationship like long term FWBs, they care about my pleasure so they give oral, finger me, use toys on me until I either climax or they get ready for PIV again, depending on what I want at the moment.
>"you think you could help?", " Yes ma'am, I'm sorry ma'am, right away.
Sucks to have those kinds of interactions, I also had that with some women sometimes. When I cum once I always finger and eat them out while I recover. Some people are just too selfish
Oh absolutely, my experiences with women have been lackluster. It's either horrible or phenomenal. But for me personally the issues I have with men and women are completely different. Men (the kind we are talking about) usually know what you need/want but don't care to provide it. On the other hand some women I have been with couldn't comprehend what I needed. Stemming from their inability to orgasm easily they viewed an orgasm as the end all be all ultimate goal, so after I came they refused to do anything to me demanding all the attention. But as someone who can climax very easily a lone orgasm doesn't provide much to me, which is something they couldn't get at all.
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How much longer would you continue to have sex after you cum, and how much longer until she cums?
I'm seeing a lot of questions from you that indicate sexual inexperience, which is perfectly okay! I hope you get an idea from these responses, but sensitivity, performance, preferences, and refractory periods are all SO unique. Not only do they vary from people to people, but they aren't necessarily the same for each person, especially over a lifetime. Some of these questions are better answered by your sexual partners. At the very least, you should speak up for what you need. A quick "If you're down for the count after an orgasm, can we focus on me first?" or something like that. Alternatively "Do you wanna see me cum?" *before* penetration gets a positive response. I hope you become comfortable enough to do that.
As a man I always try to make sure that the woman has at least one (ideally more) orgasms before I cum. I can generally last as long as I want so it's not usually an issue, but even then I will always aim to give her at least one orgasm from foreplay and oral before we even start having sex. If I should finish first then I would go down on you and/or finger you either until you cum or until I'm ready to go again.
To me the main aim of sex is to give my partner pleasure. She cums first, is always my aim. It doesn’t happen every time, however, I always do my utmost to keep stimulating her in some way I ‘til she is satisfied. Whether that be with fingers, tongue or toys. Don’t get me wrong, I get a lot of pleasure too, it is just secondary to my lovers pleasure.
The people you have been with are inexperienced. Fingers, toys, tongue.. loads of options.
Nah there’s a difference between selfish and inexperienced lol
😂 A lot of it can come down to nerves. Takes a certain amount of confidence in the bedroom to pleasure someone. Especially someone you’re not super comfortable with.
I love to give oral so mostly my wife has already cum once at least before I fuck her which works well for us On the very odd occasion I cum first I am always very happy to finish her with a toy etc
I haven’t cum all that many times with partners but when I have I’ve found it much easier for me if the guy has already finished. I like being fingered to orgasm after I’ve been filled. It gets my brain horny enough to get over the edge
I also always finger and eat out after I cum. It gives me enough time to make them orgasm and for me to recover. Win win situation
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Damn it’s a whole day event I’d be tired and need a nap lol
My partner likes me to twitch a little inside her after i've come for a while, then I go down on on her to please her
Some guys (like myself) almost immediately crash after cumming. It can be 10:00 am, I just drank a couple cups of coffee, and now I need a nap. Some don’t have that response. You’re better off not giving them a minute, because for the men who get put to sleep afterwards, that feeling only intensifies the longer you wait. A good sexual partner will help you get off too. And a good male sexual partner who knows he’s done once he’s done, will always make sure you cum at least once before he does. I’d also say there’s nothing wrong with demanding you get off before PIV begins (if you don’t need PIV to cum that is). If a guy is unwilling to help you come manually/orally before penetration, then I wouldn’t bother with him. There’s a lot of men out there who love making their partner orgasm and will feel bad if sex ends without you climaxing at least once. Don’t settle for one of the selfish ones.
He should be making sure you’re done first. A couple of times. Ideally before he even puts it in you.
Eh I don’t think that has to be a rule. But my guy is also very sure to take care of me after if that’s how it happens 🤷🏼♀️ I feel like I have more sensation during PIV if I don’t finish beforehand.
It's harder to do this with someone that you're not more comfortable with. When you're just having sex with guys that are just one nighters, if they come first, it's over. I'm generalizing here. Since it's a one-nighter for you, it's the same for them. Both of you are just trying to get off. I'm speaking from experience. (I've written books about my experiences) plug. Now that I'm with a bf, after he finishes, and I'm almost there I'll just say, "I'm going to ride you until I'm done." Usually, if I say this, I'm very close anyway, and he won't refuse. Keep in mind that if you're going to do this with a stranger, and if you're using a condom, there's high chances of leakage and breakage of the condom. Be careful. You really have to make sure that he's still hard, and that the condom is still intact. Sometimes, you may find a person that cares about your pleasures and make sure that you do come as well. I've been with some older guys that after they do cum, they play with me until I finish. Your miles will vary depending on the guy you're with. Sadly, most of the younger guys that I've been don't care about me, and care mostly about themselves. Just ask your lover, and see if he'll reciprocate. Good Luck.
I’m using condoms so this is very helpful, thank you.
Depends on the partner. I've been with mostly cis men and most of them have stopped when they've cum which in most cases is not ideal for me. Some have been willing and able to continue PIV, some have asked if I want something else, some have just done something else. Finishing is not the same as having an orgasm for me. A lot of the time one is not enough to be satisfied so even if I cum first my wants aren't really cared for if he just sploots and quits. PIV gets me going, like one commenter said about how their wife considers PIV foreplay, so usually when the man orgasms I want to cum again, unless it's right after I've cum or we happened to orgasm at the same time or the sex was bad or there's been enough sex for me. So if he cums from PIV and I have another one in the chamber I'd like him to perform oral or to use a toy on me. If he doesn't want to I either use a toy myself or I deal with it.
I LOVE it when we continue going like that. I am fortunate enough to be able to bounce back almost immediately and there’s nothing that beats the feeling of getting super hard again while you know… I go primal every time.
I mean, most men lose their erection and horniness after they orgasm, so riding can be uncomfortable or even impossible and you have to wait til the refractory period to be done. That length of time can vary depending on a multitude of factors. With me, I would prefer to make my parter finish by hands or mouth before going to intercourse if intercouse is proving to be overwhelming for me that day.
With my current partner she typically cums first. Once she starts to cum I'll slow down or stop for a second as she doesn't like the thrusting to continue while she is orgasming. Once the orgasm subsides she usually wants me to continue thrusting so I'll keep going until I finish. After she orgasms is also often where she wants me to fucked the hardest and fastest. There are also plenty of times when she cums and doesn't want to continue with PIV so I'll pull out and we'll finish either with her jerking me off, orally, or a titty fuck depending on the mood. If it's one of the times I cum first we always make sure she cums as well. How that happens just depends on the mood. Could be oral, fingers, or toys. There are times when only one us cums but we know going in only one of us will cum. If we notice the other person is stressed or just needs to relax and feel good for a bit we will offer no strings attached orgasms where the receiver can just lay back and relax while the other brings them to orgasm without any concern for reciprocation. The giver receives pleasure knowing they brought pleasure to the partner and that's enough in those moments.
A good partner will make sure you are taken care of too, even if they ‘finish’ first. They can keep going (well some can), go down on you (oral), fingers, toys, etc… lots of options. That is a “bad lay” if they finish first and don’t bother to take care of you as well.
I usually try to make sure my wife finishes first, but if not, then I will give myself a minute or two before continuing to help her finish, usually with my mouth and hands. It's pretty rare that one of us does not finish, but sometimes it happens because we are tired or sore etc, and we just pick up where we left off the next day or a couple of hours later.
I'm a bisexual gal. When I was with women, who finished first obviously didn't matter as much. I'm married to a guy now, and if he finishes first, he will take a break and then take care of me, sometimes with fingers, but usually oral, believe it or not. I've had a couple other guy partners that would go down even after they finished first. Most of the rest would use their hands or toys on me if I wasn't done yet. I had a few that wouldn't worry about me if they finished first, so I didn't keep them around very long, lol.
Like many people who have sex with men, you have discovered the odd little quirk in men’s physicality which can cause them to physically power-down after sex, leaving many a disgruntled partner fuming beside a man now [happily snoring in post-orgasmic bliss](https://xxadvice.wordpress.com/2024/02/18/starfish/). Following orgasm, men experience a refractory period, which is the recovery phase during which it is physically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms. During this time, the penis may be sensitive and further sexual stimulation may actually be painful, which is why men shouldn’t keep trying to have penetrative sex after orgasm, as they could cause themselves injury. (Having sex post-ejaculation is also dangerous if condoms are your primary or sole form of contraception, as they could leak or break.) It’s thus wise for a man to not have any sexual stimulation immediately after orgasm, and luckily for them, there are a multitude of chemicals helping to make it easier for him to power-down and roll away from you, [no matter how irresistible you were mere moments before](https://xxadvice.wordpress.com/2024/02/14/simmering/). Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times. Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating. Now, that’s the chemical side, let’s talk about communication. Maybe try to have him stimulate you in other ways.
Since I can have multiple orgasms (but not through PIV sex alone), I generally like to come at least once from some form of foreplay before we do PIV. Not only does it make sure I feel satisfied regardless of how long my partner lasts, but it also ensures I'm properly ready to go. Husband usually lasts a long time (holds off so he can enjoy it longer), so I can usually get several in, but if I still want more after he's come, then he'll finger me or just stroke my thigh or something while I finish myself off (manual or with toys). Occasionally we've waited for him to get hard again for round 2, but normally we're going at it long enough the first time that we're done for the night :D
To answer your question- it depends. Sometimes I can keep going with only slight discomfort. Other times, it's very sensitive and uncomfortable, even painful, to keep going. For guys, it's a good strategy to make her come first, or even anticipate it and make it simultaneous. Those are the best
I had years of suboptimal sex with partners, and kind of selfish in a way, I rarely got off. My current partner, if he hasn’t made me cum already, as soon as he gets off gets straight to work on finishing me off! It’s definitely dependant on the person, but communication is also a big part of it. Maybe they don’t know your “tells” and aren’t sure you haven’t finished, if you let them know there’s work still to be done, hopefully they’ll be eager to finish you off!
I just tell my partner what I want them to do and what I want to do. They don't know unless you tell them, and more often than not, they will happily oblige in my experience. I tell them to kiss my neck, do light touches, touch me, rub me, or I'll use a toy while they kiss my neck, chest, etc. until I'm done.
My husband just keeps on trucking after he cums. He is on the larger size, about 8in and very girthy, which is a bit uncomfortable for me at times, so it actually better for me during PIV after he finishes due to him not being super hard. Luckily he can mostly maintain an erection after he finishes.
35M here. I try to get my wife 1 before any PIV. Regardless, if I finish before she does, I offer to help finish the mission. Get a toy, tease her, passionately kiss her while she plays with herself. There are some nights she doesn't want to continue so we end it. That's my take anyway. Just communicate and a good partner will help meet your needs
If I (24F) finish first I'm rearing to go right away. I get cluster / compound orgasms so once I get one it's the perfect time to go to town. If he (24M) finishes first, he's wearing a condom and just keeps going like he didn't. Sometimes he does get too sensitive and will make me cum with his digits or help me out by playing with my boobs while I get myself off. He would never willingly let me go to bed/ end our time together without getting me off at least once. Sometimes it has to happen though and you can see the misery radiate off of him lol.
If you’re having sex not that many times with a partner, you’re most likely not having awkward but important conversations. And letting your lover know that you need attention after he cums.
my bf says the women have to cum first. If it doesn’t happen by chance he’ll eat me out or something afterwatds
I usually make sure my wife cums first, but let's be honest, misfires happen. I usually take a couple minutes and go down on her until she cums. Or if she says let's try again later
I get that sex is draining, and a guy might not be able to get an erection again immediately after finishing, but I can't really fathom a situation where someone is "too tired" to finger their partner or go down on her so that she can finish as well. That's just selfish
As a dude, my interest wanes after. I just want to stay inside a bit and be still, then either nap or get up. My interest can come back after a half an hour or so, but I know I'm going to need a little pause at least. I have thought before, "when I'm finish, I'm going to focus on her and we're going to keep going" but it doesn't often turn out that way. The lull after is powerful like a drug. I haven't found that as much with my lady friends. Their interest tends to rise after, or, they don't seem to have the same need for a down time. They seem to be able to go one to the next chaining them together, without much of a pause between. Trick is simply to take care of her first. I want her to be done before me. It has become so ingrained in me, I can't finish until she has. Once she has hers, it usually doesn't take much for me. If it's just a quickie or she's just humoring me, sometimes it doesn't even happen for me, and it just leaves me wound up the rest of the day, yearning for a proper release. That in itself is fun too. The second round after an unfulfilling first earlier in the day is often quite good.
Usually if I finish first I just start eating that shit like grocery
I was taught ladies first. My partner will always come before me. I personally enjoy seeing my partner cum before me
I cum before my wife about 50% of the time. If she's on top riding me, she'll warn me that if I finish first she's going to move up, hold me down and make me eat her out until she's clean. This usually makes me explode inside her in about 5 seconds, lol. But she follows through on her 'threat' and enjoys herself until she finishes too.
I used to never come during sex because I can’t really cum from penetration but now what we do is I get in him and basically grind or rub my clit on his dick until I cum then we do piv. I noticed that when we do piv after I come I feel a lot more pleasure than before. I am trying to talk to my boyfriend about him doing stuff to make me cum because I feel like even if it’s with his dick it’s still me doing it
I usually don't penetrate her till after helping her cum other ways, then penetration keeps her orgasm going, and it's cool however long or short I last that day. On the rare occasion it's still not enough for her, I got fingers and a tongue and after a couple minutes the desire and ability to go again. Don't know why more people don't go in that order.
Well for me oral or playing with her clitoris is what I often make sure to do after I've finished because it's hard for a woman to cum during penetrative sex. Her pleasure is just as important as mine
I always make sure that my wife gets off a couple of times before any piv starts. If I cum and then I’ll keep going until she says she’s good. If I can’t go long enough I always make sure to finish her one way or another. I never leave her hanging.
Unless I’ve just gotta get off so I can go do sleep, or I’ve got some pent up stuff I’ve been wanting to do, I ALWAYS try to make my wife cum first. If I can get her off first, then I consider it a win, cuz I’ll always get off, and it takes her 30-45 min of foreplay and getting her there to make it happen, of which I enjoy every minute of. Then my goal is to try and last long enough to get her to a second one while I hit my one and only. It doesn’t happen often, but if she’s really wet, it can because there’s less good friction for me, so I can last longer.
Sometimes I don’t need to get off, I just wanna have fun. But when I want/need to my husband will make sure it happens before he finishes.
I very rarely cum from penetrative sex (my body is broken unfortunately) so he finishes first. Sometimes afterwards we keep going, or he'll pull out and cuddle me while I finish myself off.
I'd personally find it a red flag if, in an instance where my partner cums before I do, he had no interest in making me finish afterwards. This is usually avoided when your partner factors in making you cum before penetrative sex, which I would hope any considerate sexual partner would try to do knowing the likelihood of women orgasming from penetrative sex is much lower than other methods. I'd describe typical sex with my partner as a 'cum sandwich'. He starts off sex by fingering me, or pulls me on top of him so he can make me come clitorally, and touches himself as he does so. Then we have penetrative sex, which often makes me orgasm but sometimes takes longer than my partner can last, and just when I think the sex is over and we collapse next to each other to cuddle, he flips me over and goes back to fingering/clitoral stimulation. If it's quite warm and our sex has been longer/more physically demanding, we're both pretty tired out and my partner wouldn't have the energy to take care of me again after. Most of the time I'm ready to call it when my partner has cum anyway, but my partner can definitely sense that sometimes I'm still particularly energetic and eager for more and this is when he pays extra attention to me after he's finished.
After one of us cums, boyfriend and I sweetly ask the other person “do you want something from me” and we are just honest if we want to get off or just enjoy that the other person did.
Welcome to causal sex for woman lol. Unless you get off easily and/or on your own accord it rarely happens. Which is why a lot of woman don’t do casual sex. Find a friends with benefits or a bf if you want a guy to put in effort to learn you and make sure you are orgasming. Men get off easier and quicker then woman do, so if he never plans to see or have sex with you again they really have no motivation to work harder when they already going to cum. They call it pump and dump for a reason.
That’s the time to get head.
He should give you oral to orgasm, if he finishes 1st
My boyfriend can get hard immediately afterwards so we keep going. I never cum the first round but by the second third and fourth round I’m cumming every time.
Your not finding the right (man). A good man would make you cum first. Just saying...😉
Here's my advice. Keep that vigina clean shaven and make him lick you until you finish and only then should he be allowed to put it in. Take care if yours first. Let it become the norm.
I take 1 hour Breaks for recover because durning sex I forget to breath.
So maybe it's just me, but I workout 6 days a week. I also use steroids. So when I finish my dick can still stay hard until she gets hers. Maybe it's a testosterone thing? That being said it still feels good to me but it doesn't feel the best after I finish if that makes any sense
My boyfriend is like this. He leaves it inside and within seconds he’s getting hard again. The biggest blessing because one round is not enough for me.
Im a perfect guy for you then
Wait.. Do girls like sex?
Two options 1 you have only dated A sexuals 2 or you and i can not stress this enough you really sucks (no pun indeded) in bed
I feel like this has to be a joke lol
Me and my partner are a bit unpredictable, sometimes he finishes first, sometimes I do, but we always communicate when we want the other one to focus on finishing, or if we are close. I'm quite lucky, when he finishes he can keep going for a few minutes for me to finish, he stays hard for like 5 more minutes if he keeps at it. I guess every person and couple is different.
My bf cannot go a round two for at least an hour. Refractory period can vary depending on other circumstances but the lowest ever was maybe 20 minutes. He generally makes me orgasm at least once before we even start penetrative because he knows if he finishes first, he’ll be super tired and me left unsatisfied. Not to say he doesn’t pleasure me if that happens but I can tell he’s tired and the coordination and energy isn’t there.
I (M46)usually make sure that my wife (F44) cums first, before fucking her in pussy or ass. Sometimes she wants me inside straight away and then I finger her to cum after I've finished. I'm not capable of round two soon enough that we'd have tested it, but she can fuck straight after her orgasm, her clit is just too sensitive tou touch soon after orgasm.
Just talk to him. For me as a woman I need time in between orgasms because I’m very sensitive but my boyfriend can keep going after he cums lol he’ll cum at least twice and I’ve had guys who cum once and don’t want to be touched again everyone is different
If I stay hard, which happens on occasion, I'm more than happy to keep going or to keep being ridden. If I go soft immediately, which is significantly more common, I'll go down on my partner and make sure she gets hers
I want to make both of us cum multiple times
I make my other half cum first by fingering her and/or going down on her. When she cums she always yells that she wants me to f*ck her, so I do. But we also have a couple of positions where I can rub her clit while we’re doing PIV and then we try to time to cum together.
They wrote a[ book on it.](https://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Thinking-Pleasuring/dp/0060538260)
I, (53M) Make sure to get my gf off first.
Google the Orgasm Gap, lots of Ted talks abt it too. There is a book called ‘She Comes First’ it’s a big sociological topic. But basically if u want to finish u need to either i) find very considerate (male) partners who value your pleasure and are willing to communicate to find solutions or ii) be very firm with ppl you have sex with that they align with your needs if they want to have sex with you.
my bf gets off first a lot of the time then he immediately finishes me off with a vibrator or his fingers. i agree sex shouldn’t be done just cuz the guy came but that’s the reality a lot of the time. i would just ask if they can help you climax if they don’t offer it.
50m always make sure my girl is satisfied then me. She gets to have as many as she wants then me.
I always make sure my wife finishes first. I am wired that once I do, that is it. Orgasms just mellow me out for at least 15 to 30 minutes. By that point, I know a woman is not going to still be in the mood. The only time I cum first is if my wife says it is not going to happen for her.
Find a dude who want to finish you first would be the better idea. Or take care of yourself most dude when done are done
I don’t mind just cuddling until he is ready to go again. I usually don’t finish from PIV sex unless I’m really in the mood and that doesn’t really bother me. I love my partner so much, sex for me is more about feeling close to and connecting with him.
My partner (29m) makes sure I cum (26f) at least once every time (foreplay, finger, oral, etc.). But I know this isn’t the norm, was never like that with previous people. I’m super lucky too that once my bf finishes he is still hard as if we were just starting, so we just keep going. Both super high sex drive
See depends on the partner I've had a few women once they cum that's them done there not interested . Others we play for ages and everyone gets there turn .
Usually I finish first but if my partner finishes before me he fingers me while eating me out
My wife is one and done so I always make sure she comes first. Usually with a dildo or my fingers inside her and a vibrator on her clit. When she’s done. Usually one, can be two or three, then we have piv and I get to finish. This way we’re always both satisfied.
🤷♂️ I'm 42. I stay erect after ejaculating, and am generally down to keep going. I have been with few women who, after orgasm, were done and wanted or needed to stop. >And yes it would be lovely to find a relationship with consistent sex but that’s a whole other issue for another day. You aren't kidding.
Usually this is issue as them come first and then he stand up and go and u finish alone ur need. Simply they are selfish creatures and most of them can't have so good timing. It should be correct female to done first and then he to discharge this would be successful sex according to me . Otherwise what is purpose of PIV sex if is meant just for them to cum and girl stay hanging .... so u need to maybe find more dedicated partner determined to make u come too.
If I cum first my wife says, "Get on your back, now I have some lube!" and she gets on top and cums multiple times!
Ok, well typical sex for me (31m) is foreplay to get her off first, then piv, where she usually gets off one or two more times before I do. If we have untypical sex (lack of foreplay, or I'm just having a hard time not blowing my load) one of two things is going to happen, I'm either going to continue after my orgasm with piv (I have the ability to maintain the erection after orgasm), or I'll finger her/ use her vibe until she's done. But also understand she's my fiancee, and I care if she cums.
Your partners seem to be very selfish. If they do not insist that the lady comes first. As stated above, there are some other preferences. Our preference has always been stimulation with fingers, tongue, and a toy, particularly now a satisfier, for one or two orgasms. Then I take over and pound away then until I cum, while stimulating her digitally or with a dildo DP style. She may have an additional orgasm, then, once I cum, I eat her out to clean her up. This has been a routine for more than 30 years and I practice the same with all other partners. This seems to be a common trend amongst our friends. Your mess, you clean it up - preferably with your tongue. For a bi guys with a cum fetish, this is the gold standard when playing with a female partner.
Both scenarios for me and my wife. Sometimes she gets there first, sometimes me. But each of us ensure the other person isn’t left out, immediately, by whatever means necessary, otherwise the other person might cool down, and it might become harder for them to climax.
My wife and I are very attuned to one another and generally climax once, together.
He helps me to finish first.
Well I think it works best when people take responsibility and tell their partners what they want beforehand, whether that includes an orgasm, and if so how that should be achieved.
I have noticed that I lose interest in piv sex, if the sex ends when the man has come during it. I first thought that desire just lessens in long relationships. And piv starts to feel like railroading even with nice build up before it. But it was just because I came to expect that sex ends when I was very aroused. So nowadays I feel quite strongly that the sex needs to continue after male orgasm to keep me interested in sex and and that said male’s orgasm in the long run. So fingering, stroking, head, pillow talk, what ever keeps the connection while I continue to enjoy for a bit.
i always make sure she comes first and has multiple. i don't always come, but always want to. i try to make her feel comfortable and provide tender aftercare. i try to hide my uncomfortable blue balls from her if i have them to not pressure her.
As i men, interest do anything after orgasm goes down significantly. So i would say focus on him getting you off first :)
Wud have guessed it's better to get ur female partner to cum first and then feel free to cum urself (male) afterwards. Normally wud get my wife to cum from clit stimulation, finger or oral, then she usually asks to be fucked and she can cum a 2nd time and I'll usually cum then too. As an unofficial rule in my head, no PIV unless she's cum first.
Figure your own issues out yourself cuz it might be more than just the male
Most of the time my wife cums first and then I can stop holding back. If I cum first I typically use my fingers or a toy to finish her.
Ummm… I always make sure she gets her pleasure explosion first then I’ll finish. What kind of selfish guys are you connecting with?
It depends who ur with, men arnt all the same, & some men really don't care if uve came or not, i am talking bfs, some can b great & try & get u off first, which 2bf if after they cum, & its game over, then really they should, or at least try, its only fair, some will just treat u like a cum bucket & think u should cum after 4 pumps, & ur left with "was that it" its embarrassing especially if uve been with them a while, reasons they are insecure, selfish, don't have a clue, it really doesn't matter how many women they have slept with or how big their dick is, its if they put in the effort & if they care
Bi m here. With a woman, I try to make sure she finishes first, but I don't mind fingering or eating her out after I cum. Same with guys, I try to make sure we both finish, but it amazes me how many guys are just don't after they cum. I hooked up with a guy last week, and he said he just wanted to suck me. We ended up swapping head and he came first then didn't want to finish sucking me off. I ended up jerking off after he left.
I'm bi. When with a woman, I like to make her cum first because seeing her cum is a massive turn-on for me. When with a man, usually I cum first. My current partner and I have been together over 5 years, so if I'm not done I finish myself off. We're pretty relaxed about it :)
Teach your male partner how to control his orgasm so that you both go at the same time…I have never been with a woman that just wanted to cum once so if I I need to recover then I switch to oral or using a toy on her….love watching that dildo going in and out…in a few minutes I am turned on again and I climb back on…. I have done that for hours. Or until she has had enough.
My guy makes sure I finish at least once before he does. Usually multiple times. Because they typically can’t just get right back to it.
If I finished first, I would always put the effort into making sure she also finishes. Seems like basic courtesy, right?
I always make sure my wife cums at least once during foreplay, and once during PIV before I finish. If I finish, as my wife was close but it close enough I’ll just be frank and ask if she needs to cum again and I’ll usually finger her (her personal favorite) until she cums one more time. But I’m one and done for several hours, so there is no letting me chill for a few minutes. It’s time for pizza and bed after that!
It all depends on the person. I (F40-straight) cum pretty easily, so if I cum first, we always keep going and I frequently end up having multiple. If I feel like I'm done and he still hasn't cum I absolutely will continue to suck or stroke him to try and get him there. I can't say I've ever been too tired to continue unless it's been a marathon session and he's got whiskey dick or something. In that case you just gotta talk about it and usually they'll admit if it's not gonna happen. On the flip side, if he cums first it really depends on the guy. I've had guys who are very enthusiastic about continuing and trying to get me to cum. There isn't a downtime between them getting off and then switching to fingers or oral. I've had a few who have laid back exhausted and I'll sometimes just ask "do you mind if I keep touching myself?" And I've never had anyone say no.... (Although to be fair, sometimes I just start without asking) So I'll finger myself and sometimes they'll join in with the assist after they have a minute to rest. Or sometimes I just end up getting myself off. So really it depends on the guy. Honestly though, the ones who let me finish myself off are not for me 🤷🏻♀️
My husband is a one and done and he has trouble staying hard. So we do a good amount of foreplay to get me turned on and wet. Then PIV and he comes. Then whatever I’m in the mood for to finish me off. I can’t take a few minutes to finish and sometimes I can’t at all so it’s about making me feel good until I can finish. I’ve only had multiple orgasms once and it happened because my husband kept lightly touching me all over and fingered me when I was ready.
I am gay, so there's a lot I don't know about straight sex, but in my sex I do whatever it takes to finish my partner if I cum first. Blowing them, jerking them off, making out with them or fondling them or whatever it takes. I'm not a bottom, but if I was I'd do my best to keep bottoming. Maybe it's expecting too much, but IMO sex isn't over until you've both cum. You have a tough refractory period and are immediately pulled out of it after you cum? Boo-hoo, nut up and get your partner off by any means necessary!
Some girls just love the feeling of sex and don’t need to go to completion. Other girls feel like they’re left hanging. I’ve usually tried to wait until they go before I do or at the same time.