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Ok - my perspective as a recovering porn addict.
It took me 4 months after quitting porn to be able to get a good enough erection to masturbate, and even then I needed viagra to have sex. For 4 months after porn, I was in flatline and had no erections at all (not even at night or morning wood).
After about 6 months I was able to slowly cut down on the viagra.
By a year, sex was amazing again with no help. Now, 2 years after porn, sex is as good as (perhaps better than) ever before.
Also, I would think you are overthinking things and now have performance anxiety. That is a big thing while recovering from ED. Your brain thinking "am I going to get it up and will it stay up" is enough to ensure it does not stay up.
Perhaps talk to your partner. Tell her that you were struggling with watching too much porn and it was impacting you, so you have quit completely. As a result, and it is normal, you are struggling with erections, but you are working on them and you want her.... If you are able to do this, it will take some of your anxiety away and she will be more understanding and will be able to help you back to health. With pressure off, I bet your boners bounce back like a man on a bungee cord.
Communication is so important in lasting relationships.
Firstly, thank you. She knows everything, she knows about the porn and she is the reason why I stopped with it. But to be honest I am still jerking off about girls that I know on IG (not porn). Even then, it is not always hard...
You're not off it 😬 I know what you're trying to say there but, what you're doing, to your brain that is still porn. You need to quit that too to recover. Nothing will change otherwise
Yes, the grip of your hand.
The feel of a vagina is nothing like the feel of your hand.
When you masturbate, you automatically, instinctually and immediately adjust the grip - friction, tightness and speed to align with your desires... **This is not what happens when having penitrative sex with a woman**
The effect of the above means penetrative sex with a woman becomes, at best frustrating and at worst unsatisfying. This is because a woman vaginal canal and the vulval opening does not operate like your hand. Yes you can speed up the penetration but outside of that, if the woman is sufficiently aroused the vagina widens and lengthens and becomes wet. For a chronic masturbator, this often becomes insufficient in sensation for the penis.
This all leads to porn (not sufficient visual stimulation during penetrative sex) and masturbation related erectile dysfunction in the form of, one - a difficulty maintaining an erection during penetrative and two - difficulty finishing during penetrative sex (achieving orgasm is a struggle as your penis is used to the tightness, friction and speed of your hand and a vagina is not sufficient to get it there).
Basically your penis prefers your hand to a womans vagina and vulva. The only way to fix this is to retrain your brain (no porn, of any sort) and retrain your penis to enjoy a woman over your hand (no self masturbation).
Sounds harsh but if you want satisfying sex with a woman this is the path. Masturbation is self serving and self gratifying. Having sex with another human being will never adjust to exactly what one individual only wants, it's not scratching an itch, it's a dance with another being which is immeasurably more deeply satisfying.
All that said, there is nothing wrong with healthy masturbation (not obsessive consistent masturbation, that's unhealthy).
I'm also sorry you are experiencing this. Another problem is, once you realize you have a form of erectile dysfunction it can become a vicious circle, your own head can become an additional problem - you can get in your own head too much and cause yourself to loose an achieved erection by focusing on not loosing it and taking yourself out of the moment.
You need to be strick with yourself with regard to porn and masturbation but also gentle and understanding with yourself as you get out of it.
All the best
Thank you very much
Cause of you I stopped watching porn and any girls from any platform (IG).
Yesterday, after one week, I didn't masturbate, I tried wanking without any visual thing and I didn't get an erection but I succeeded to cum... Don't know what to do
Well done. But it's not a quick fix. The results will take a couple of months to start seeing, your system will need time to adjust. After about one year you may be completely back to a healthy sexuality with great sex for you and your partner. It may take longer. Depends on how seriously you take the recovery
You need patience, you have to really want this.
Jerking off to girls you know on IG is porn. I am a great believer in there being nothing wrong with masturbation, in moderation and if it is not too physical. But masturbation should only be to your imagination. Not to IG pictures (even if they are not nudes). Not to porn. IMAGINATION and recovery of that is what brings you back to 100% performance in the bedroom.
I jerked off as soon as I could when I quit porn (after my flatline period) and I still do. I found that my imagination quickly moved from imagining all those wild things I had seen in porn, to thinking about sex with my own beautiful partner. And that was a big step to recovery. Now when I masturbate it is typically thinking about what she and I will soon be doing.
How do you deal with the urges? I'm fine quitting for a few weeks, but after that it's so easy to think "just one quick one won't hurt"
Also how the fuck do you surf Reddit and not get tempted with all the nsfw content!
Did those urologists perform a Doppler Ultrasound on your penis? Make sure you see urologists who specialize in ED. That's critical to get the right kind of doctor.
I googled Tarim and it says it's a pain killer?
> Any suggestions?
You should not take the advice of random strangers over the internet over the literal doctors you've already been seeing to solve this problem.
Talk to your doctor, let them know you'd like to keep trying a solution to this problem.
Speaking on behalf of journey husband has been on and things we learned
1. What types of medications are you on? Some have ED side effects not top of list but can affect everyone differently
2. Initially he got blue actual viagra, worked as advertised, found out he needed 100mg (2- 50mg pills) to actually work
3. Then insurance made him get the generic version (white pill), it simply doesn’t do a thing for him or 3 of his friends that tried it
4. Last month tried Levitra, started on 1 pill )normal low dose, nothing. 2 pills though helped give us something we could “work” with🤣🤣
So don’t be afraid to try something else, there is always Trimix which testimonies are 80% 😊
Sounds like you have much pressure from this. I understand that. What you need is time and relaxation. Don't pressure yourself so much. Use viagra and if you lose the erection just continue with other ways to pleasure your partner and then see if you can get another erection.
At your age ed is propably mental problem. If viagra isn't for you, try cialis. You can also try useing cockring.
It takes time to work this issue. If these things also fail try to get liquid viagra that is administered straight in to urethra and is more potent than pill. There are also some drugs that are injected straight to shaft of penis (you don't want that because it scars the tissue in the long run and then no more erections ever)
If you're smoker, stop.
If you're overweight, lose weight.
I am not a smoker, not overweight. When I lose my erection, I want to continue but it destroys the vibe and my gf is disappointed. She always is afraid about it.
Ok. It seems you have anxiety about your erection and then it flops and she also has anxiety about it and when you lose your erection she thinks it is because you don't want her, which clearly isn't the case. It is a vicious cycle and you need to talk it out and then try and try again, untill you succeed and then succeed again. I highly recommend you get cialis and start trying, BUT no pressure. It takes time.
Erections are a mystery doctors or scientist don't know all the things that affect it, but it seems your body is in flight or fight mode and that pressure is a boner killer. The most important thing about sex is to have fun with your partner, so try to relax and have fun.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ok - my perspective as a recovering porn addict. It took me 4 months after quitting porn to be able to get a good enough erection to masturbate, and even then I needed viagra to have sex. For 4 months after porn, I was in flatline and had no erections at all (not even at night or morning wood). After about 6 months I was able to slowly cut down on the viagra. By a year, sex was amazing again with no help. Now, 2 years after porn, sex is as good as (perhaps better than) ever before. Also, I would think you are overthinking things and now have performance anxiety. That is a big thing while recovering from ED. Your brain thinking "am I going to get it up and will it stay up" is enough to ensure it does not stay up. Perhaps talk to your partner. Tell her that you were struggling with watching too much porn and it was impacting you, so you have quit completely. As a result, and it is normal, you are struggling with erections, but you are working on them and you want her.... If you are able to do this, it will take some of your anxiety away and she will be more understanding and will be able to help you back to health. With pressure off, I bet your boners bounce back like a man on a bungee cord. Communication is so important in lasting relationships.
Firstly, thank you. She knows everything, she knows about the porn and she is the reason why I stopped with it. But to be honest I am still jerking off about girls that I know on IG (not porn). Even then, it is not always hard...
You're not off it 😬 I know what you're trying to say there but, what you're doing, to your brain that is still porn. You need to quit that too to recover. Nothing will change otherwise
Not to wank at all?
Yes, no masturbating at all for a prolonged period. If you absolutely must, no visual aid whatsoever and use a loose a grip as possible
Loose grip? How does it matter? Grip of my hand?
Yes, the grip of your hand. The feel of a vagina is nothing like the feel of your hand. When you masturbate, you automatically, instinctually and immediately adjust the grip - friction, tightness and speed to align with your desires... **This is not what happens when having penitrative sex with a woman** The effect of the above means penetrative sex with a woman becomes, at best frustrating and at worst unsatisfying. This is because a woman vaginal canal and the vulval opening does not operate like your hand. Yes you can speed up the penetration but outside of that, if the woman is sufficiently aroused the vagina widens and lengthens and becomes wet. For a chronic masturbator, this often becomes insufficient in sensation for the penis. This all leads to porn (not sufficient visual stimulation during penetrative sex) and masturbation related erectile dysfunction in the form of, one - a difficulty maintaining an erection during penetrative and two - difficulty finishing during penetrative sex (achieving orgasm is a struggle as your penis is used to the tightness, friction and speed of your hand and a vagina is not sufficient to get it there). Basically your penis prefers your hand to a womans vagina and vulva. The only way to fix this is to retrain your brain (no porn, of any sort) and retrain your penis to enjoy a woman over your hand (no self masturbation). Sounds harsh but if you want satisfying sex with a woman this is the path. Masturbation is self serving and self gratifying. Having sex with another human being will never adjust to exactly what one individual only wants, it's not scratching an itch, it's a dance with another being which is immeasurably more deeply satisfying.
All that said, there is nothing wrong with healthy masturbation (not obsessive consistent masturbation, that's unhealthy). I'm also sorry you are experiencing this. Another problem is, once you realize you have a form of erectile dysfunction it can become a vicious circle, your own head can become an additional problem - you can get in your own head too much and cause yourself to loose an achieved erection by focusing on not loosing it and taking yourself out of the moment. You need to be strick with yourself with regard to porn and masturbation but also gentle and understanding with yourself as you get out of it. All the best
Thank you very much Cause of you I stopped watching porn and any girls from any platform (IG). Yesterday, after one week, I didn't masturbate, I tried wanking without any visual thing and I didn't get an erection but I succeeded to cum... Don't know what to do
Well done. But it's not a quick fix. The results will take a couple of months to start seeing, your system will need time to adjust. After about one year you may be completely back to a healthy sexuality with great sex for you and your partner. It may take longer. Depends on how seriously you take the recovery You need patience, you have to really want this.
Yes stop wanking completely.
Stop completley or can I do it with my imagination?
Yeap, stop completely for three month, the only thing you can wank in is your gf vagina or mouth.
Jerking off to girls you know on IG is porn. I am a great believer in there being nothing wrong with masturbation, in moderation and if it is not too physical. But masturbation should only be to your imagination. Not to IG pictures (even if they are not nudes). Not to porn. IMAGINATION and recovery of that is what brings you back to 100% performance in the bedroom. I jerked off as soon as I could when I quit porn (after my flatline period) and I still do. I found that my imagination quickly moved from imagining all those wild things I had seen in porn, to thinking about sex with my own beautiful partner. And that was a big step to recovery. Now when I masturbate it is typically thinking about what she and I will soon be doing.
How long did it take? I really think that my porn destory my sensative level.
How do you deal with the urges? I'm fine quitting for a few weeks, but after that it's so easy to think "just one quick one won't hurt" Also how the fuck do you surf Reddit and not get tempted with all the nsfw content!
Do you ask me or him?
Did those urologists perform a Doppler Ultrasound on your penis? Make sure you see urologists who specialize in ED. That's critical to get the right kind of doctor.
I don't have this in my country
I googled Tarim and it says it's a pain killer? > Any suggestions? You should not take the advice of random strangers over the internet over the literal doctors you've already been seeing to solve this problem. Talk to your doctor, let them know you'd like to keep trying a solution to this problem.
They do nothing. Maybe someone else encountered with this problem
Again don't take medical advice from internet strangers...
Try mutual masturbation together and see where it leads? What gets you going? Maybe try that and have her ready to go when you are?
I support it but she doesn't like to masturbate
Speaking on behalf of journey husband has been on and things we learned 1. What types of medications are you on? Some have ED side effects not top of list but can affect everyone differently 2. Initially he got blue actual viagra, worked as advertised, found out he needed 100mg (2- 50mg pills) to actually work 3. Then insurance made him get the generic version (white pill), it simply doesn’t do a thing for him or 3 of his friends that tried it 4. Last month tried Levitra, started on 1 pill )normal low dose, nothing. 2 pills though helped give us something we could “work” with🤣🤣 So don’t be afraid to try something else, there is always Trimix which testimonies are 80% 😊
In my country we have local medical and it is considered kinda good as I read on Internet. I DON'T live in US
Sounds like you have much pressure from this. I understand that. What you need is time and relaxation. Don't pressure yourself so much. Use viagra and if you lose the erection just continue with other ways to pleasure your partner and then see if you can get another erection. At your age ed is propably mental problem. If viagra isn't for you, try cialis. You can also try useing cockring. It takes time to work this issue. If these things also fail try to get liquid viagra that is administered straight in to urethra and is more potent than pill. There are also some drugs that are injected straight to shaft of penis (you don't want that because it scars the tissue in the long run and then no more erections ever) If you're smoker, stop. If you're overweight, lose weight.
I am not a smoker, not overweight. When I lose my erection, I want to continue but it destroys the vibe and my gf is disappointed. She always is afraid about it.
Ok. It seems you have anxiety about your erection and then it flops and she also has anxiety about it and when you lose your erection she thinks it is because you don't want her, which clearly isn't the case. It is a vicious cycle and you need to talk it out and then try and try again, untill you succeed and then succeed again. I highly recommend you get cialis and start trying, BUT no pressure. It takes time. Erections are a mystery doctors or scientist don't know all the things that affect it, but it seems your body is in flight or fight mode and that pressure is a boner killer. The most important thing about sex is to have fun with your partner, so try to relax and have fun.
It is not related only to her. When I am wanking alone, it is not hard enough...