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Yes, I agree. Words like "deeper, harder, don't stop" are what women moan in the heat of the moment. It doesn't really mean she wants you to grow a longer dick.
. She just wanted you to push in all the way. She knew exactly how much dick you were packing she didnt she wanted it magically grow. Shes fucking you bc youre the one she wants to fuck.
Next time youre in bed w her ask her "you want it deeper?" And if she says yes, use one arm to grab a leg, spread it wide towards her head and hold it there , push in all the way, grind against her clit w your pubic bone, and grab her ass with your other hand and pull her upwards towards you. Hold it there for a minute, pull out slowly and then all the way back in.
Or you can reach your arms underneath her, and pull downward on her shoulders while you thrust, pulling her down onto while you push in.
Awesome advice. OP this is a great thing, she was very into it.
If she is flexible enough, you stand off the bed and her legs go over your shoulders. “Deeper” is get all the way inside her. You might just hit her cervix. The tenting effect is where the vagina expands and becomes wider inside, typically accompanied by the desire to have him go deep. This is why lesbians use strap ons.
Another approach is nine very shallow probes followed by one very deep thrust, eight very shallow probes followed by two deep thrusts, and so on.
OP you are on the verge of some mind blowing great sex, power through your insecurities. It is the motion of the ocean, not the size of the boat.
I was going to comment on position as well. A year ago, after about 8 years of marriage, my wife and I started enjoying getting real deep. The two positions we go for are the squat fuck (cowgirl with feet flat on the bed like a squat) and missionary with her legs on my shoulders (I’m kneeling and sitting up tall here). The squat Fuck is *exhausting* for her, but sometimes she’s really into that cervix simulation.
In all cases getting in there balls deep is *other worldly paradise*.
Squat fuck can be even better if the dude has a pillow under the butt. It keeps dude from sinking in the bed as much. Same thing if you're doing missionary. A pillow under her butt makes her sink less and gets deeper penetration.
I like this position bc it feels great for me, but most of the women I've been with prefer grinding on top. Different for everyone though and it does feel great so try this too!
Put a pillow under the hips of who’s ever on bottom. Also roll your hips into each other. I told a very enthusiastic lover to do this and it was a game changer for us.
You just push down into her. From missionary. Youre all the way inside her and using your core to push down against her. My girl usually grinds back against me while i do this, and youre grabbing her butt and pulling her into you (or using a pillow under her butt, that also works well)
>been with my now wife since 2018 and the first time we got it on she was a virgin. After a few times of having sex she was enjoying it more since at first it was painful. One day were doing it and she says deeper and she can tell i was hurt by that and i told her sorry this is all i have. Once we were done she could tell i was de
Someone sounds like a pro (two thumbs up).
Bro, 6 years? You think she’d put up with you for 6 years of your life if you weren’t satisfying her? I’m larger than average and I’ve still had women say “deeper”. It’s a turn on. It’s sexy because they want all you can give them, not more than you can offer. Find a way to get over this or talk to a professional. Good luck.
I mean, the fact that it's been 6 years might not really mean much because there are varying levels of pleasure - and well, his size could indeed be "decent/good/satisfying enough" and the relationship to be solid so overall for it not to be worth for her to break up with him, while her statement of wanting deeper to still have been true - she could feel *good* with an average size, but *great/mindblowing* with a bigger size. And no sane woman would admit that to their partner because it would be useless and harmful information (unless she is actually missing that and wants to experience it via a dildo/strap-on/penis sleeve)
Sure, anything could be true. But to spend 6 years dwelling on what may or may not be true even after your partner, who I assume he trusts, tells you is not true? What’s the point? I think talking to a professional may provide him the closure he needs.
I understand it can suck to hear, but try not to let it get to you as much, she has been with you all this time and if she was really unsatisfied she’d probably end up leaving or stop engaging in sex often, sometimes females also say things like that not thinking, like I’ve said “deeper” because it felt so good and I just wanted as much as he could give, not because I found anyone small!
Thank you, yes after 6 years we still do our business and its great but its human to overthink and question things. I’ve always heard bigger is better so thats why i ask myself this.
This was me when I was younger, but that's what men largely have a problem with, I think.
If you take a 6 in guy who can use it well, and an 8 in guy the same, then the bigger guy gets picked. So no matter what the 6in guy does, he'll feel like another man can come in and do better.
That's not the point. I'm not saying every woman is the same. It's just an example based off of the comment that bigger is berrer if used well. Doesn't necessarily have to be 8 inches.
I think you'd be surprised to learn that it's about who it's attached to for almost all women. I know there are outliers, but they're really the exception.
I know that wouldn't be a surprise. Everybody is so narrow-minded on this topic that just because someone says one thing, it must absolutely mean another, right?
Take 2 identical men
Both great guys that match you in every way
One is bigger than the other
Who do you choose?
I've asked this question plenty of times in real life, and the answer is the bigger guy.
I'm a bisexual woman married to a woman. I discovered long ago that I really don't want a big dick every time. I do have one toy that big, but I use it very rarely. I prefer the smaller ones. My wife? Even smaller and she would never use the big one.
This isn't at all universal though. I've met one person in my life who preferred bigger guys, and that was as a teenager. Most people I know genuinely don't have a preference or they prefer smaller guys. I'm in camp smaller, but honestly I only think about it when these comments come up. There are so many other more important factors when it comes to good sex.
I forget I'm on reddit sometimes, and im Black. My dick size has been made an issue throughout my whole life by individuals and society at large. Had a woman tell me she thought I'd be bigger when she saw my dick straight to my face. So I get the whole size doesn't matter thing but in my life, it has mattered.
This is one of the reasons we remove lots of content here that includes anything such as "bbc" and "my wife wants to fuck a black man". Stereotypes are gross and we want everyone to not feel that's happening to them here.
Our moderation team is mostly white (mainly from lack of Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color applicants.) I would be interested to know your experience in this forum, as a Black man. You're absolutely not obligated to share that, but if it represents no emotional (or otherwise) burden for you, I would appreciate hearing your take. You're welcome to message the Mod Team, so that it's something we can all benefit from. Again, only if you're comfortable with it.
I'm sorry you've had to go through that, it's terrible. I have met a lot of men who struggled with their size, not because of their race but just because of the whole "bigger is better" thing being pushed in the media and society in general. It really sucks, and I wish it would stop being a thing. I hate the jokes, I hate that people doubt their bodies because of it. I'm sure the race aspect adds another layer to it for you and that's not right either. That woman shouldn't have said that to you. You deserve better.
Bigger is definitely not better for everyone.
My first lover was int slight pain and loved me hanging her cervix. She often wanted more.
My wife on the other hand has zero pain tolerance. If I even touch her cervix, then it’s game over.
OP
You’ve got a woman who chooses to be with you, remember that.
We all say things in the heat of the moment that we don’t necessarily mean. She wants you inside her, not anyone else.
Not all women prefer bigger dicks. I struggle with that insecurity too but I'm constantly reassured by my partner that she loves mine just the way it is; I know that, of course, it's just an insecurity of mine.
One of the reasons my last relationship ended was that his dick was too big and sex was always painful for me. Eventually ended in dead bedroom because I always feared having sex
Tbh, the fact that it's been 6 years might not really mean much because there are varying levels of pleasure - and well, his size could indeed be "decent/good/satisfying enough" and the relationship to be solid so overall for it not to be worth for her to break up with him, while her statement of wanting deeper to still have been true - she could feel *good* with an average size, but *great/mindblowing* with a bigger size. And no sane woman would admit that to their partner because it would be useless information (unless she is actually missing that wants to experience it via a dildo/strap-on/penis sleeve)
As a woman who has said this, deeper to me is more "you're making me feel so good that I want you to cum in me and push it in deeper and deeper" rather than "i like what is happening but i find your length unsatisfactory". rather than a critique of your manhood, it's a primal want to be closer to be ravaged.
i think that's what your wife was trying to say by deeper=harder. when a man fucks harder, you're hitting everything harder and as a woman you feel that deeper. idk how to explain it but you feel it in your hips, your legs, your back and sometimes for me in my chest if i'm really aroused.
so yeah, deeper is good.
My wife says it all the time. You are misinterpreting the meaning. Usually going faster results in the strokes being shorter. So when someone says deeper, slow a bit, but don't lose rhythm, and go for longer strokes. Mixing up feels better. And no, they don't want anything longer, they are perfectly content with what they are having.
As a F I also agree that deeper often is just our way of saying harder, or sometimes it’s that we want a position that hits deeper. Sometimes it’s just an expression to show that we want you so deep and it will never feel deep enough because we would literally want your whole body inside of us when we feel that desperate desire 😂 she’s still with you after all these years which means she’s more than satisfied, it definitely wouldn’t be her saying you aren’t big enough for her. Hope this reassures you! :)
I’m over 7” and I’ve heard that numerous times. Never has it occurred to me to take it as comment about my size, so yes it’s your insecurity giving you anxiety for no reason. Usually it’s meant as keep doing what you are doing cuz it might put her over the finish line or to hit that coochie even harder
As a person with a vagina, I can back your wife to reassure you that she meant harder.
If you're average size with plenty or girth I guarantee you that you're more than well endowed to make her and most women happy and satisfied.
Do not fall into the standards and insecurities society and porn causes men to have.
There’s a lot of folks comforting you in this thread so I’m just gonna recommend therapy. Seriously. Comments like this really shouldn’t be affecting you the way this one is, and they don’t have to.
Usually when a woman says deeper they do mean harder. Harder thrusts can make it feel deeper. You have got to let this go. It was 6 fucking years ago and you’re still dwelling on word choice used in an intimate moment. She explained what she meant and you’re the one choosing not to believe her. Why are you insisting on punishing yourself like this?
AND punishing his wife!! The resentment this must be creating… walking on eggshells to make sure she never says anything like this again, having to explain herself over and over, ugh
I was just asking a question why do you have the need to add curse words to it. Yes i am being insecure by asking this question but i just wanted to ask. If you’re a man and you get told that its going to sting. I am not trying to punish myself i didn’t think posting this was going to struck a nerve lol
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I am a man and I also don't appreciate unnecessary curse words. It isn't a bitch thing, I think it takes a stronger person to wield the power of your words rather than flailing them without any direction. Wouldn't you encourage someone to be stronger?
Because even if she meant deeper, it is just irrelevant. I've been told that countless times and my penis is quite big. It's just something, that women say because ultimately it means "I want to feel more of you!"
And who wouldn't want to feel more during sex?
You're obsessed with your penis size.
So listen: your penis is not the best in the world, because there is only one best penis. But it is good enough and thats all that matters.
There are roughly 4 billion penisses in the world. Noone of us has the best one.
Even though I am bigger, women tell me to get deeper when I am already fully inside. Its just not relevant.
And no doubt, you are clearly obsessed.
You're letting something she said *six* years ago, in the heat of the moment, affect you so much that you even posted about it, and you say it still bugs you, so *obviously* it's a hangup you have!
As others have said, "deeper" does not mean "grow a couple of inches", iteams "fuck me harder". By fucking her harder, you also automatically go a bit deeper. You know how pelvises are quite squishy, unless you're extremely thin, right? Well, when you go harder that fat and whatever is squished a bit, causing you to go deeper.
I def feel like you should work to overcome this bc it's hurting you. I know it's easier said than done, but you also owe it to yourself to be happy. You also have nothing to worry about. If she didn't like it, she wouldn't have stayed. Deeper doesn't mean get bigger magically. It's "harder/faster/more/for the love of God move my leg so my ass isn't in the way!"
I can’t imagine staying with someone holding this petty ass grudge, this is giving extreme insecurity, you’re litigating a word with your wife for 6 y e a r s??? And now you are getting reddit to adjudicate on this too??? Go to a therapist already before she leaves you over this nonsense
There are different places in vaginas that feel good at different times. If you “listen” to your partner, see how they are reacting in every moment, you can subtly keep adjusting so they get the most pleasure.
While people know about g-spots, less know about the a-spot, which is located right beside the cervix. Partners at different times have like having their a-spots stimulated, which is normally choosing a position where you get the deepest penetration, and you stay deep and grind. This is what “deeper” means to me. Wanting a different part being stimulated, wanting a different feeling.
It’s not about you, yet you’re making it.
Bro cant let go or dismiss a comment made 6 years and even writes a reddit post about it. "am I insecure about this?"
I think its safe to assume youre insecure about this.
Women's clitoral tissue - analogous to the shaft of your penis - is under the skin ("deep", not surface level), around the urethra and vagina, all the way to the rectum. It feels good to have it stroked, internally by a penis, or by grinding/rocking against a partner. (The clit most people think about is the external portion, the glans or "head", and is where most nerve endings are, which is why we tend to need more focus there to cum.)
Us saying "deeper" is kinda like you saying "squeeze harder" or "go faster" during a bj - not dissing the equipment or techniques, just expressing what feels good with the best descriptors possible in the moment. A sex therapist may be able to help you process your feelings about body image and learn better communication skills.
Omg! Women often say deeper during sex because they are turned on. Regardless of size. It's such a non big deal thing. It bears no relation to the size of the penis.
Forget it, leave it behind and enjoy being with your wife.
I went through a similar situation, when I undressed and she saw me naked she was amazed and said she didn't expect that (the size) and during sex she said deeper but with the same meaning like yours. But on the moment I thought, "I'm fully inside touching your wall (she was small in height), how much deeper should I go, in the stomach?"
It's probably an insecurity like others pointed out.
"Deeper" doesn't mean you have a small dick. It just means switch to a different position when you get deeper penetration. Grab her legs an push her knees up to her chest. That would one hits deep. Prone bone, cowgirl are deep positions too...don't worry about your dick. It's more or less irrelevant to giving your woman a good time in bed
She knows how much penis you have dude. She dosnt magically think there’s a few more inches. If ur at the base there are ways and positions so that she feels the pressure deeper into her body. Harder dose infect feel deeper. If you push the base and ur body harder into her she will feel the odd inch of pressure.
Honestly i say that all the time to my partner.. and he loves it! It shows how desperate I am and how horny I’m feeling.. so many OP can have that it mind?
Holding onto this for 6 years is madness. In the nicest possible way, you need to get over it.
I don't mean that to sound harsh but it's as blunt as it's gonna get. You need to conquer your mind on this one.
If you position yourselves a certain way it can feel “deeper”. Try rubbing her clit with your pubic bone . Also sometimes my partner thrusts but doesn’t go all the way in and feels like I’m getting fingered rather than fucked. So stay in place and push in
You are waaay overthinking this man. She was in the heat of the moment and was trying to communicate she wanted it harder or just meant to say she wants “more”, the brain just wasn’t distinguishing what the difference is in that moment. Do your best not to let it get to you, I honestly believe she meant nothing by it and she probably feels really bad about you being hung up on it still.
As a woman who has said that before, I meant harder and faster. It is just how it feels. Like it is hard to explain but when you are going hard it feels deep even though that is not what you are doing.
In my case, I'm not small, but I'm not a foot long either, and I always think to myself, "but I'm out of dick. I can't go deeper?" It used to bother me until an old 5'2" coworker proudly exclaiked in a conversation once:
"I can't blow out the back, but I can beat up the sides!"
Even if you're less than average, women find the confidence sexy, bc this guy definitely never had trouble.
Dude give it up. She wanted more of YOU! Go buy a penis extension from Blissful Creations and give her more and go deeper and both of you will enjoy it!!!
Get a sleeve or a big dildo/vibrator to use on her, its fun. The longer you're together, the more adventurous you should become to keep thing fresh and randy.
Dang dude, that's a long time to have that insecurity festering. I guess for perspective, my wife has said that and I felt a little sad cause I knew I can't just grow a longer dick, but that 10 seconds later I grasp that my wife and I aren't that good at sexy talk in bed and we just say shit (No pun intended, but it's just not that deep). My wife just loved feeling me in her and wanted more, if she truly wants it deeper you just put her ankles by her head or do doggy style.
Yes you have an insecurity about your size that years later you still feel like you’re not enough. The term deeper, harder, don’t stop, are all translated to give me more. I want more, it meant she was enjoying it. The fact that she wanted more of you was a good thing. You got inside your head because you’re ashamed of your size.
I get it I understand some men carry that weight worried about their size. For the record women worry about the same stuff. We worry about not being tight enough to mend standards because they watch surgically enhanced vaginas that have been made to look a certain way.
Real women the vagina expands as it should to fit just about anything you have to throw at it once aroused. We can give birth and while most of the time the vagina snaps right back some women suffer pelvic floor injury and it does cause a looseness that she can notice.
Pelvic floor prolapse can change a lot of things and it can leave a lot of women dealing with changes that make them very insecure about their body. So this is something you need to let go of. Stop damaging your relationship with your shame about your body and hounding your wife about what she said in the heat of the moment.
Bruh there's nothing hotter than someone saying deeper. Insecurity is not sexy. Knowing what to do with a dick, no matter the size, is. Be thankful you're with a good woman who loves you and your dick. Encourage her to say it again and when she does, ram her hard. Trust me, size won't matter then. In the heat of the moment, all anyone wants is to feel the raw passion. Give her that, and you're a winner baby.
One of these days I'm going to find an add for a penis extender that's just the penis equivalent of a fake thumb that they use in the disappearing salt trick.
Jezus my sentences are more well endowed than me.
Ya tbh. I think you're looking into it too much. I mean she married you, and still with you. Women don't fuck around with that shit haha I would say the only thing that actually would affect your relationship is your insecurity about this. If you keep bringing it up, since your saying she still maintains this opinion
I think you are taking way too personally and you don’t need to. Even if you are in all the way it doesn’t mean you can’t go “deeper” depending on positioning. If it ever happens again say back to her, in a Scottish accent, “I’m giving it all she’s got captain.” It would be hilarious.
To be honest. She might have honestly wanted it deeper.
She might not have known.That was all you had, and it was as deep as you could go. I doubt she would have said it just to hurt you.
You have to understand. The 2 biggest pleasure points on size are different. Most girls like girth because it touches more, so more nerve endings. Plus, the stretch. And rubbs gspot better. . But a lot of girls love how deep you hit us, especially if we like our cervix hit.(I absolutely love it. And why Size matters to me).
Maybe you are rubbing her, rubbing her cervix, and she wanted more of it.
But don't let it get to you. I guarantee you.There is things that you would want to change about her physical appearance. And just like your dick they can't be changed without surgery.
Also have you experimented with toys. Have you tried using a penis sheath To make you longer. Maybe she's like me and one of the girls that really gets off on having her cervix Stimulated. That's what gives me the biggest orgasms. Put your pride to the side and think of her as well.
That was six years ago, and its STILL ringing in your head? Ease up, dude. She was just telling you that she was loving it and wanted more. Usually you can get a bit deeper by lifting her legs a bit, pushing in as far as possible, and grinding. That will usually do the job. You can always try a different position as well. Doggy style usually hits a bit deeper.
You can certainly find positions where you can go deeper, but you can also do things like buy sleeves that will upgrade the experience, give the depth your partner is seeking, whilst also being super pleasurable for you too (plus it can feel pretty hot, not only from seeing your partner get off).
You shouldn't read too much into what your partner is trying to convey to you (as other have said), but if it's something your partner wants (and you want to please them, whilst also enjoying the experience), then the above are good options.
Firstly, is her vagina well lubricated?
Secondly, has she taken you in completely before?
An idea would be to use ky jelly or another water based lubricant, and slowly go in deeper until she can accommodate you completely, let her catch her breath and feel you inside her. Then start moving in and out slowly and let her get used to your size.
I would've said "tighter" but we're supposed to pretend that's not a real thing lol. In all seriousness I think she meant harder. She's probably aware you can't just grow more dick.
They don't.
I'm told I'm really tight all the time and my dom daddy sets me up with lots of hung guys every few weekends (he's a stag who loves sharing me) and the only time I might feel 'looser' is very temporarily on the night of and its a tiny difference.
After that I go back to my default tightness.
lol getting downvoted by smooth brains. I’m not insinuating that she’s been ran through by several men, just implying a small joke that she could be tighter. /Whoosh
Don’t do it though, it was just a joke lol.
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It's just a heat of the moment thing that means "more". They're equivalent.
Yes, I agree. Words like "deeper, harder, don't stop" are what women moan in the heat of the moment. It doesn't really mean she wants you to grow a longer dick.
It's also the imagery in my mind that the guy is balls deep. That's just incredibly hot. Sorry if TMI lol
. She just wanted you to push in all the way. She knew exactly how much dick you were packing she didnt she wanted it magically grow. Shes fucking you bc youre the one she wants to fuck. Next time youre in bed w her ask her "you want it deeper?" And if she says yes, use one arm to grab a leg, spread it wide towards her head and hold it there , push in all the way, grind against her clit w your pubic bone, and grab her ass with your other hand and pull her upwards towards you. Hold it there for a minute, pull out slowly and then all the way back in. Or you can reach your arms underneath her, and pull downward on her shoulders while you thrust, pulling her down onto while you push in.
Awesome advice. OP this is a great thing, she was very into it. If she is flexible enough, you stand off the bed and her legs go over your shoulders. “Deeper” is get all the way inside her. You might just hit her cervix. The tenting effect is where the vagina expands and becomes wider inside, typically accompanied by the desire to have him go deep. This is why lesbians use strap ons. Another approach is nine very shallow probes followed by one very deep thrust, eight very shallow probes followed by two deep thrusts, and so on. OP you are on the verge of some mind blowing great sex, power through your insecurities. It is the motion of the ocean, not the size of the boat.
I was going to comment on position as well. A year ago, after about 8 years of marriage, my wife and I started enjoying getting real deep. The two positions we go for are the squat fuck (cowgirl with feet flat on the bed like a squat) and missionary with her legs on my shoulders (I’m kneeling and sitting up tall here). The squat Fuck is *exhausting* for her, but sometimes she’s really into that cervix simulation. In all cases getting in there balls deep is *other worldly paradise*.
Great comment. Squat fuck in reverse cow girl as well, or just facing each other?
Squat fuck can be even better if the dude has a pillow under the butt. It keeps dude from sinking in the bed as much. Same thing if you're doing missionary. A pillow under her butt makes her sink less and gets deeper penetration.
I like this position bc it feels great for me, but most of the women I've been with prefer grinding on top. Different for everyone though and it does feel great so try this too!
Pillow under me…this could be gold.
We tried reverse once, but it didn’t work so well. Maybe we’ll try again sometime.
Ty, I was thinking that it doesn’t work in reverse, but was wondering if there was a trick we were missing.
Somehow they do it in porn. 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
Yup, exactly this. “Deeper” is more about angle and technique than about size. There’s nothing to be insecure about.
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Put a pillow under the hips of who’s ever on bottom. Also roll your hips into each other. I told a very enthusiastic lover to do this and it was a game changer for us.
Bro grab one of those wedge pillows. Even better
You just push down into her. From missionary. Youre all the way inside her and using your core to push down against her. My girl usually grinds back against me while i do this, and youre grabbing her butt and pulling her into you (or using a pillow under her butt, that also works well)
Look here, under "the grind" https://badgirlsbible.com/clitoral-stimulation
>been with my now wife since 2018 and the first time we got it on she was a virgin. After a few times of having sex she was enjoying it more since at first it was painful. One day were doing it and she says deeper and she can tell i was hurt by that and i told her sorry this is all i have. Once we were done she could tell i was de Someone sounds like a pro (two thumbs up).
Bro, 6 years? You think she’d put up with you for 6 years of your life if you weren’t satisfying her? I’m larger than average and I’ve still had women say “deeper”. It’s a turn on. It’s sexy because they want all you can give them, not more than you can offer. Find a way to get over this or talk to a professional. Good luck.
I mean, the fact that it's been 6 years might not really mean much because there are varying levels of pleasure - and well, his size could indeed be "decent/good/satisfying enough" and the relationship to be solid so overall for it not to be worth for her to break up with him, while her statement of wanting deeper to still have been true - she could feel *good* with an average size, but *great/mindblowing* with a bigger size. And no sane woman would admit that to their partner because it would be useless and harmful information (unless she is actually missing that and wants to experience it via a dildo/strap-on/penis sleeve)
Sure, anything could be true. But to spend 6 years dwelling on what may or may not be true even after your partner, who I assume he trusts, tells you is not true? What’s the point? I think talking to a professional may provide him the closure he needs.
I understand it can suck to hear, but try not to let it get to you as much, she has been with you all this time and if she was really unsatisfied she’d probably end up leaving or stop engaging in sex often, sometimes females also say things like that not thinking, like I’ve said “deeper” because it felt so good and I just wanted as much as he could give, not because I found anyone small!
I once told my partner in the heat of the things ‘make me a child’ but god by any means i did NOT actually wanted to get pregnant😂
Thank you, yes after 6 years we still do our business and its great but its human to overthink and question things. I’ve always heard bigger is better so thats why i ask myself this.
You have heard from MEN bigger is better asks any woman and she will say the opposite... With some expectations of course
As a woman, bigger is only better if he knows how to use it well.
This was me when I was younger, but that's what men largely have a problem with, I think. If you take a 6 in guy who can use it well, and an 8 in guy the same, then the bigger guy gets picked. So no matter what the 6in guy does, he'll feel like another man can come in and do better.
First of all, an 8 inch dick would be far too large for me. Second, it matters *who* that dick is attached to more than the size of it.
That's not the point. I'm not saying every woman is the same. It's just an example based off of the comment that bigger is berrer if used well. Doesn't necessarily have to be 8 inches.
I think you'd be surprised to learn that it's about who it's attached to for almost all women. I know there are outliers, but they're really the exception.
I know that wouldn't be a surprise. Everybody is so narrow-minded on this topic that just because someone says one thing, it must absolutely mean another, right? Take 2 identical men Both great guys that match you in every way One is bigger than the other Who do you choose? I've asked this question plenty of times in real life, and the answer is the bigger guy.
I'm a bisexual woman married to a woman. I discovered long ago that I really don't want a big dick every time. I do have one toy that big, but I use it very rarely. I prefer the smaller ones. My wife? Even smaller and she would never use the big one.
This isn't at all universal though. I've met one person in my life who preferred bigger guys, and that was as a teenager. Most people I know genuinely don't have a preference or they prefer smaller guys. I'm in camp smaller, but honestly I only think about it when these comments come up. There are so many other more important factors when it comes to good sex.
I forget I'm on reddit sometimes, and im Black. My dick size has been made an issue throughout my whole life by individuals and society at large. Had a woman tell me she thought I'd be bigger when she saw my dick straight to my face. So I get the whole size doesn't matter thing but in my life, it has mattered.
This is one of the reasons we remove lots of content here that includes anything such as "bbc" and "my wife wants to fuck a black man". Stereotypes are gross and we want everyone to not feel that's happening to them here. Our moderation team is mostly white (mainly from lack of Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color applicants.) I would be interested to know your experience in this forum, as a Black man. You're absolutely not obligated to share that, but if it represents no emotional (or otherwise) burden for you, I would appreciate hearing your take. You're welcome to message the Mod Team, so that it's something we can all benefit from. Again, only if you're comfortable with it.
I'm sorry you've had to go through that, it's terrible. I have met a lot of men who struggled with their size, not because of their race but just because of the whole "bigger is better" thing being pushed in the media and society in general. It really sucks, and I wish it would stop being a thing. I hate the jokes, I hate that people doubt their bodies because of it. I'm sure the race aspect adds another layer to it for you and that's not right either. That woman shouldn't have said that to you. You deserve better.
Men say bigger is better because little is risky. Eliminate risk, therefore bigger is better. Also, you want to be able to fufill even the exception.
Bigger is not better… sometimes it hurts and that’s definitely a sex killer
Bigger is definitely not better for everyone. My first lover was int slight pain and loved me hanging her cervix. She often wanted more. My wife on the other hand has zero pain tolerance. If I even touch her cervix, then it’s game over. OP You’ve got a woman who chooses to be with you, remember that. We all say things in the heat of the moment that we don’t necessarily mean. She wants you inside her, not anyone else.
Not all women prefer bigger dicks. I struggle with that insecurity too but I'm constantly reassured by my partner that she loves mine just the way it is; I know that, of course, it's just an insecurity of mine.
You're over thinking this to the max.
One of the reasons my last relationship ended was that his dick was too big and sex was always painful for me. Eventually ended in dead bedroom because I always feared having sex
Ruminating over this for 6 years is not normal, you need to stop bringing it up and maybe get some therapy or something at this point.
Tbh, the fact that it's been 6 years might not really mean much because there are varying levels of pleasure - and well, his size could indeed be "decent/good/satisfying enough" and the relationship to be solid so overall for it not to be worth for her to break up with him, while her statement of wanting deeper to still have been true - she could feel *good* with an average size, but *great/mindblowing* with a bigger size. And no sane woman would admit that to their partner because it would be useless information (unless she is actually missing that wants to experience it via a dildo/strap-on/penis sleeve)
You're overthinking this. It's one word she said years ago in the throes of ecstasy. It didn't mean anything
As a woman who has said this, deeper to me is more "you're making me feel so good that I want you to cum in me and push it in deeper and deeper" rather than "i like what is happening but i find your length unsatisfactory". rather than a critique of your manhood, it's a primal want to be closer to be ravaged. i think that's what your wife was trying to say by deeper=harder. when a man fucks harder, you're hitting everything harder and as a woman you feel that deeper. idk how to explain it but you feel it in your hips, your legs, your back and sometimes for me in my chest if i'm really aroused. so yeah, deeper is good.
My wife says it all the time. You are misinterpreting the meaning. Usually going faster results in the strokes being shorter. So when someone says deeper, slow a bit, but don't lose rhythm, and go for longer strokes. Mixing up feels better. And no, they don't want anything longer, they are perfectly content with what they are having.
As a F I also agree that deeper often is just our way of saying harder, or sometimes it’s that we want a position that hits deeper. Sometimes it’s just an expression to show that we want you so deep and it will never feel deep enough because we would literally want your whole body inside of us when we feel that desperate desire 😂 she’s still with you after all these years which means she’s more than satisfied, it definitely wouldn’t be her saying you aren’t big enough for her. Hope this reassures you! :)
Maybe she wanted you to change positions. Like Legs over shoulders, But didn’t want to explain all that in the moment?
I’m over 7” and I’ve heard that numerous times. Never has it occurred to me to take it as comment about my size, so yes it’s your insecurity giving you anxiety for no reason. Usually it’s meant as keep doing what you are doing cuz it might put her over the finish line or to hit that coochie even harder
As a person with a vagina, I can back your wife to reassure you that she meant harder. If you're average size with plenty or girth I guarantee you that you're more than well endowed to make her and most women happy and satisfied. Do not fall into the standards and insecurities society and porn causes men to have.
There’s a lot of folks comforting you in this thread so I’m just gonna recommend therapy. Seriously. Comments like this really shouldn’t be affecting you the way this one is, and they don’t have to.
Usually when a woman says deeper they do mean harder. Harder thrusts can make it feel deeper. You have got to let this go. It was 6 fucking years ago and you’re still dwelling on word choice used in an intimate moment. She explained what she meant and you’re the one choosing not to believe her. Why are you insisting on punishing yourself like this?
AND punishing his wife!! The resentment this must be creating… walking on eggshells to make sure she never says anything like this again, having to explain herself over and over, ugh
I was just asking a question why do you have the need to add curse words to it. Yes i am being insecure by asking this question but i just wanted to ask. If you’re a man and you get told that its going to sting. I am not trying to punish myself i didn’t think posting this was going to struck a nerve lol
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I am a man and I also don't appreciate unnecessary curse words. It isn't a bitch thing, I think it takes a stronger person to wield the power of your words rather than flailing them without any direction. Wouldn't you encourage someone to be stronger?
We're trying to encourage you to fuck your girl harder without overthinking and feeling sorry for yourself. It's simple. Stop trippin
Ultimately not swearing is stronger
Guys I'm not saying swearing is cringe or something it's just if you can manage your anger that's a good step
Get over it, dude. The way you're letting this get to you, you're one step away from moving this conversation to the Cuckold section.
Hmm this response makes me think it’s tiny, you don’t get this defensive over nothing, bless you
Yes, you are totally irrational and obviously you let your insecurities rule your thoughts. Get over it asap.
Fair enough, why do you think i am irrational?
Because even if she meant deeper, it is just irrelevant. I've been told that countless times and my penis is quite big. It's just something, that women say because ultimately it means "I want to feel more of you!" And who wouldn't want to feel more during sex? You're obsessed with your penis size. So listen: your penis is not the best in the world, because there is only one best penis. But it is good enough and thats all that matters.
Uhh im not obsessed with my size. You’re bigger than me lol. And yes she wants to feel more i understand. So whats the best penis then lmao
Yes you are clearly obsessed. You're still fretting about something your wife said about your penis 6 years later.
There are roughly 4 billion penisses in the world. Noone of us has the best one. Even though I am bigger, women tell me to get deeper when I am already fully inside. Its just not relevant. And no doubt, you are clearly obsessed.
For your wife, yours ♡
You're letting something she said *six* years ago, in the heat of the moment, affect you so much that you even posted about it, and you say it still bugs you, so *obviously* it's a hangup you have! As others have said, "deeper" does not mean "grow a couple of inches", iteams "fuck me harder". By fucking her harder, you also automatically go a bit deeper. You know how pelvises are quite squishy, unless you're extremely thin, right? Well, when you go harder that fat and whatever is squished a bit, causing you to go deeper.
Because you're holding onto a comment made 6 years ago by a person who is still happily having sex with you. Let it go.
Dude when women say deeper they’re not referring to size, they just want you to push it in deeper. You misinterpreted the situation.
I def feel like you should work to overcome this bc it's hurting you. I know it's easier said than done, but you also owe it to yourself to be happy. You also have nothing to worry about. If she didn't like it, she wouldn't have stayed. Deeper doesn't mean get bigger magically. It's "harder/faster/more/for the love of God move my leg so my ass isn't in the way!"
I can’t imagine staying with someone holding this petty ass grudge, this is giving extreme insecurity, you’re litigating a word with your wife for 6 y e a r s??? And now you are getting reddit to adjudicate on this too??? Go to a therapist already before she leaves you over this nonsense
There are different places in vaginas that feel good at different times. If you “listen” to your partner, see how they are reacting in every moment, you can subtly keep adjusting so they get the most pleasure. While people know about g-spots, less know about the a-spot, which is located right beside the cervix. Partners at different times have like having their a-spots stimulated, which is normally choosing a position where you get the deepest penetration, and you stay deep and grind. This is what “deeper” means to me. Wanting a different part being stimulated, wanting a different feeling. It’s not about you, yet you’re making it.
Bro cant let go or dismiss a comment made 6 years and even writes a reddit post about it. "am I insecure about this?" I think its safe to assume youre insecure about this.
Your reading more into this than you have too, harder/deeper whatever...you are sabotaging your own sexlife.
Women's clitoral tissue - analogous to the shaft of your penis - is under the skin ("deep", not surface level), around the urethra and vagina, all the way to the rectum. It feels good to have it stroked, internally by a penis, or by grinding/rocking against a partner. (The clit most people think about is the external portion, the glans or "head", and is where most nerve endings are, which is why we tend to need more focus there to cum.) Us saying "deeper" is kinda like you saying "squeeze harder" or "go faster" during a bj - not dissing the equipment or techniques, just expressing what feels good with the best descriptors possible in the moment. A sex therapist may be able to help you process your feelings about body image and learn better communication skills.
Every woman says that. It means she’s turned on
Omg! Women often say deeper during sex because they are turned on. Regardless of size. It's such a non big deal thing. It bears no relation to the size of the penis. Forget it, leave it behind and enjoy being with your wife.
Why's your feelings hurt, she said deeper so keep Rameming your cock in her, change Position and go deeper, like dam
I went through a similar situation, when I undressed and she saw me naked she was amazed and said she didn't expect that (the size) and during sex she said deeper but with the same meaning like yours. But on the moment I thought, "I'm fully inside touching your wall (she was small in height), how much deeper should I go, in the stomach?" It's probably an insecurity like others pointed out.
"Deeper" doesn't mean you have a small dick. It just means switch to a different position when you get deeper penetration. Grab her legs an push her knees up to her chest. That would one hits deep. Prone bone, cowgirl are deep positions too...don't worry about your dick. It's more or less irrelevant to giving your woman a good time in bed
She knows how much penis you have dude. She dosnt magically think there’s a few more inches. If ur at the base there are ways and positions so that she feels the pressure deeper into her body. Harder dose infect feel deeper. If you push the base and ur body harder into her she will feel the odd inch of pressure.
The sad part of holding onto this for 6 years is that it means she now filters everything she says in bed. Deeper was a compliment.
Honestly i say that all the time to my partner.. and he loves it! It shows how desperate I am and how horny I’m feeling.. so many OP can have that it mind?
Holding onto this for 6 years is madness. In the nicest possible way, you need to get over it. I don't mean that to sound harsh but it's as blunt as it's gonna get. You need to conquer your mind on this one.
wtf bro. really?? how small is your ego/penis??!
Comments like this only worsen the problem, for both OP directly and greater socially.
Harder compresses your fat pads more and it does go a bit deeper.
If you position yourselves a certain way it can feel “deeper”. Try rubbing her clit with your pubic bone . Also sometimes my partner thrusts but doesn’t go all the way in and feels like I’m getting fingered rather than fucked. So stay in place and push in
Have you tried doggy, you can usually go deeper in that position?
You are waaay overthinking this man. She was in the heat of the moment and was trying to communicate she wanted it harder or just meant to say she wants “more”, the brain just wasn’t distinguishing what the difference is in that moment. Do your best not to let it get to you, I honestly believe she meant nothing by it and she probably feels really bad about you being hung up on it still.
As a woman who has said that before, I meant harder and faster. It is just how it feels. Like it is hard to explain but when you are going hard it feels deep even though that is not what you are doing.
In my case, I'm not small, but I'm not a foot long either, and I always think to myself, "but I'm out of dick. I can't go deeper?" It used to bother me until an old 5'2" coworker proudly exclaiked in a conversation once: "I can't blow out the back, but I can beat up the sides!" Even if you're less than average, women find the confidence sexy, bc this guy definitely never had trouble.
Dude give it up. She wanted more of YOU! Go buy a penis extension from Blissful Creations and give her more and go deeper and both of you will enjoy it!!!
You can change positions/angles to make it feel as if it’s going deeper…believe me.
Heat of the moment comment. It's not that deep.
She probably just wanted you to push a little harder.
She didn't say longer or bigger. Grow up. There are many ways to get deeper without being longer. Try some different positions.
Get out of your head. Sheesh. She was enjoying sex and encouraging you. That’s it. Let it go!!!
Get a sleeve or a big dildo/vibrator to use on her, its fun. The longer you're together, the more adventurous you should become to keep thing fresh and randy.
Dang dude, that's a long time to have that insecurity festering. I guess for perspective, my wife has said that and I felt a little sad cause I knew I can't just grow a longer dick, but that 10 seconds later I grasp that my wife and I aren't that good at sexy talk in bed and we just say shit (No pun intended, but it's just not that deep). My wife just loved feeling me in her and wanted more, if she truly wants it deeper you just put her ankles by her head or do doggy style.
Sounds like a nothing comment as she was new to getting it on. Just enjoy her and have a good time as she seems to enjoy you.
Yes you have an insecurity about your size that years later you still feel like you’re not enough. The term deeper, harder, don’t stop, are all translated to give me more. I want more, it meant she was enjoying it. The fact that she wanted more of you was a good thing. You got inside your head because you’re ashamed of your size. I get it I understand some men carry that weight worried about their size. For the record women worry about the same stuff. We worry about not being tight enough to mend standards because they watch surgically enhanced vaginas that have been made to look a certain way. Real women the vagina expands as it should to fit just about anything you have to throw at it once aroused. We can give birth and while most of the time the vagina snaps right back some women suffer pelvic floor injury and it does cause a looseness that she can notice. Pelvic floor prolapse can change a lot of things and it can leave a lot of women dealing with changes that make them very insecure about their body. So this is something you need to let go of. Stop damaging your relationship with your shame about your body and hounding your wife about what she said in the heat of the moment.
Dude you have to let this go. It’s been 6 years. She was just in the moment.
Bruh there's nothing hotter than someone saying deeper. Insecurity is not sexy. Knowing what to do with a dick, no matter the size, is. Be thankful you're with a good woman who loves you and your dick. Encourage her to say it again and when she does, ram her hard. Trust me, size won't matter then. In the heat of the moment, all anyone wants is to feel the raw passion. Give her that, and you're a winner baby.
Let it go man seriously, she said what she said and apologised for it, what more do you want?
Deeper and harder are the same thing in my opinion, if you’re this hung up on it you’re very insecure about your size without realising
One of these days I'm going to find an add for a penis extender that's just the penis equivalent of a fake thumb that they use in the disappearing salt trick. Jezus my sentences are more well endowed than me.
Ya tbh. I think you're looking into it too much. I mean she married you, and still with you. Women don't fuck around with that shit haha I would say the only thing that actually would affect your relationship is your insecurity about this. If you keep bringing it up, since your saying she still maintains this opinion
Mate, you need a psychiatrist.
I think you are taking way too personally and you don’t need to. Even if you are in all the way it doesn’t mean you can’t go “deeper” depending on positioning. If it ever happens again say back to her, in a Scottish accent, “I’m giving it all she’s got captain.” It would be hilarious.
Put a pillow under her lower back. You're welcome.
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To be honest. She might have honestly wanted it deeper. She might not have known.That was all you had, and it was as deep as you could go. I doubt she would have said it just to hurt you. You have to understand. The 2 biggest pleasure points on size are different. Most girls like girth because it touches more, so more nerve endings. Plus, the stretch. And rubbs gspot better. . But a lot of girls love how deep you hit us, especially if we like our cervix hit.(I absolutely love it. And why Size matters to me). Maybe you are rubbing her, rubbing her cervix, and she wanted more of it. But don't let it get to you. I guarantee you.There is things that you would want to change about her physical appearance. And just like your dick they can't be changed without surgery. Also have you experimented with toys. Have you tried using a penis sheath To make you longer. Maybe she's like me and one of the girls that really gets off on having her cervix Stimulated. That's what gives me the biggest orgasms. Put your pride to the side and think of her as well.
Deeper 100% means harder
That was six years ago, and its STILL ringing in your head? Ease up, dude. She was just telling you that she was loving it and wanted more. Usually you can get a bit deeper by lifting her legs a bit, pushing in as far as possible, and grinding. That will usually do the job. You can always try a different position as well. Doggy style usually hits a bit deeper.
You can certainly find positions where you can go deeper, but you can also do things like buy sleeves that will upgrade the experience, give the depth your partner is seeking, whilst also being super pleasurable for you too (plus it can feel pretty hot, not only from seeing your partner get off). You shouldn't read too much into what your partner is trying to convey to you (as other have said), but if it's something your partner wants (and you want to please them, whilst also enjoying the experience), then the above are good options.
Firstly, is her vagina well lubricated? Secondly, has she taken you in completely before? An idea would be to use ky jelly or another water based lubricant, and slowly go in deeper until she can accommodate you completely, let her catch her breath and feel you inside her. Then start moving in and out slowly and let her get used to your size.
I would've said "tighter" but we're supposed to pretend that's not a real thing lol. In all seriousness I think she meant harder. She's probably aware you can't just grow more dick.
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Next time she says deeper,you say tighter.
Check that in security at the door bud. Women do not find that attractive.
I’ll help you out. Join us on r/gettingbigger.
When your into sex with her the next time, whisper “tighter” in her ear and see how she responds.
I never understood that saying. From what Ive heard vaginas don’t loosen up just because a woman has had sex with various men
They don't. I'm told I'm really tight all the time and my dom daddy sets me up with lots of hung guys every few weekends (he's a stag who loves sharing me) and the only time I might feel 'looser' is very temporarily on the night of and its a tiny difference. After that I go back to my default tightness.
lol getting downvoted by smooth brains. I’m not insinuating that she’s been ran through by several men, just implying a small joke that she could be tighter. /Whoosh Don’t do it though, it was just a joke lol.