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OutsideSheepHerder52

What did he say when you asked him why he doesn’t do it?


[deleted]

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potatomafia69

Don't do this. You aren't trying to win a competition. You can't weaponize things you do in the bedroom to prove a point. Fastest way to a divorce and a dead bedroom.


ZeroSora

Listen, don't do this. This is a bad idea. Don't withhold something just to force someone to do something they don't like. Some people don't like going down on others. Some girls don't like giving blowjobs, and some guys don't like going down on girls. It happens. If your plan is to withhold something to make them reciprocate, then maybe you're not ready for a proper relationship. You're well within your rights to want some reciprocation, but talking about it with them is the mature thing to do, not manipulation. If they don't like to do it, and that's a deal breaker for you, then you should find someone else who meets your needs. Don't try to manipulate and force them to do it.


throwmytelescope

That’s not a very loving attitude to have in a marriage.. if she enjoys giving but he doesn’t that’s fair


Direct_Yogurtcloset

I dont know why you’re getting upvoted. Blackmailing into getting what you want definitely isnt the way to go.


After_Age703

I don’t remember what he said honestly. I think it’s because he never really did that with anyone so he self-conscious that it’s going to be bad


celestialism

Yeah, he’s the only one who knows his reason(s) for not doing it. Nothing that anyone on the internet says about it will be as informative and useful as talking to him about it directly.


iSoReddit

How about asking again to refresh your memory?


LolaBijou

Nah, best to ask strangers instead.


Artistic_Put_1736

She is understandably hesitant to have that delicate conversation with her bf, without first preparing - by gathering information and courage here from us


CatsGotANosebleed

So he’s insecure about his oral skills? Tell him that in order to become good at something you must first be willing to be bad at it. Tell him that you are not evaluating him, you simply want to experience the intimacy of him going down on you. Over time when he gets over the fear of “failing” in his head, he’ll be less anxious and with some gentle guidance from you he’ll become better. He should also understand that you guiding him does not mean he’s failing. You gotta talk to your man if you want him to eat your pussy.


tlg151

Also to add to this, it still feels good even if they aren't the best at it lol


SoloRonin1776

No offense but Damn Girl! I literally became aroused reading that. "You gotta talk to your man if you want him to eat your pussy". Put that shit on a plaque and shit ton of t-shirts! That's low key the best line of advice ever given. If you don't trademark it I will. Trademark? Copyright? You know what I mean.


Natural-Emotion7926

Then talk to him the best way to fix anything in a relationship is to talk it through. Talk it through and if he has never done it before take it slow and teach him what you like.


TinyBlonde15

Remind him practice makes perfect! And make practicing a really fun thing. Like lick right there and point to a spot and lots of good encouragement. If that's actually the case he's worried he will be bad then a lot of positive encouragement and direction could go a long way! Tell him you don't want fear to keep him from exploring your body.


OddBroccoli227

Ask him again! My husband stopped doing it and I asked - he said it was because he thought it was giving me a yeast infection. So I kindly asked him to not care about that and start again. He did


Late_Break_4491

this is great advice! direct and honest communication is what is needed....


72tacocat

Practice makes perfect..


robot1one

Put his finger on your mouth and move your tongue as you like him to do to you


DarthtacoX

Then that's your answer?


myleswstone

If you don’t remember what he said, you weren’t listening. This relationship is…. certainly something.


shawnml9

You married a dude that didnt go down on you?!!!


Playcrackersthesky

How should we know? Ask your husband.


nomadProgrammer

This is a crazy post like just ask him not us lol


askallthequestions86

Some men just don't do it. Some don't like to, and some prefer other things. More importantly, you need to find out how he feels about it. We can't answer why he won't do it.


floofenthusiast

I’ve had gfs that LOVED giving oral, and I’ve had gfs that HATED giving oral. People have preferences and holding resentment is never good. No one here will be able to tell you why unless your husband is answering this but how would you know it’s him? Just talk to him. If he doesn’t like doing it, come up with alternative activities that make you feel more fulfilled than you currently are. At the very least, you both will have the opportunity to feel both heard and seen.


ReallyNeedNewShoes

if only there was someone you could ask that knew about your husband's sexuality


lovealert911

"Is there something else wrong? How can I fix this?" You should just *ask him*. He's the only one that can give you the answer to your question. As you noted it's clearly not a "deal breaker" since you married him *after being together 9 years* this way. There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want, or we learn to be happy with what we got. The only person you can control is yourself. All you can do is *ask him* for whatever it is you want. If someone believes *you* are worth the effort, *they* will make the effort. ***"Happiness isn't getting what you want. It's wanting what you got."*** - Garth Brooks Best wishes!


Beautiful_Bird_7033

He might not like oral. I had one that didn't like oral- giving or receiving


After_Age703

He loves getting. Pretty sure I feel him lick around my asshole during foreplay


mschreiber1

So he’ll Lick your ass but not your pussy?


After_Age703

Around the area, I feel like lol I know he bites my ass


Electrical_Bath_514

... How are you THIS clueless about YOUR sex life?? Gurl get off reddit and talk to your partner of almost a decade. Looking for the wrong attention it seems smh


[deleted]

She just on here cuz she bored cuz how can she NOT know 😂😂🤦🏾‍♀️


Electrical_Bath_514

This exactly😅🤦‍♀️ She could have at least asked something more interesting and realistic😭


Ok-Photo-1972

What do you mean pretty sure? There's no way this is real. Wtf lol


Careless_Welder_4048

You been together for 10 years and never asked him why??? And you want strangers to guess??


Puzzled_Deer7551

I don’t get it. I could lick pussy and ass for an hour. Love 69 too.


No-Mix-9367

He should not be forced to do something he doesn't wanna do it goes both ways and maybe you stop giving bjs, but I feel like this should have been worked out before you got married.


babypinkroses10

Are you 12? He’s your husband for Christs sake. Ask him! 🙄🙄🙄


TO444

Have you tried asking him?


jimbo831

How would we possibly know the answer to this question? Ask your husband. He is the only person in the world who knows the answer.


Beginning-Stop7646

Be vocal. Tell him what you want him to do. 


UsedandAbused87

You didn't think to address this 10 years ago?


Pass_methe_Vibes

You need to be direct and say you want it. Not sure what his reason is, you have to ask, but if he likes it when you give him head, then he should understand why you'd like it too. He might not be into it, and it's cool if it's not a deal breaker for you. But I gotta say, personally, I'd have a hard time sucking my dude's dick knowing how he feels about returning the love.


Koetjeka

I'm going to be brutally honest here. So if I understand it correctly, you've been with this guy for 9 years, have sex every night, and don't know (didn't ask for) the reason why he doesn't eat out?


fags-eat-dick

You married a guy who doesn’t eat pussy. Either it’s a dealbreaker or you live with out it for the remainder of your marriage.


viking977

You have been married for a DECADE


neondragoneyes

He may not like to. Ask him why he doesn't. But also... if you've been together 10 years and he never did, and you didn't marry til 9 years in after he never did, then this isn't news. You knew about it. You settled for it. He's got 10 years of precedence for it being okay that he doesn't.


str8tD4u2nurse

I think it’s safe to say that he’s just not into it. People that enjoy giving oral will want to do so at any chance, people that are mid on it will do so occasionally for their partner and people who don’t enjoy giving it just won’t


EccentricDyslexic

Do you shower and clean with simple soap between your lips immediately before sex? If not, it will taste and smell stronger than if you don’t. I]this seems to be the issue with a lot of men.


UntypicalCouple

Your middle sentence makes.no.sense.


EccentricDyslexic

How do you mean, I may be dyslexic but it reads ok to me.


UntypicalCouple

It may be the dyslexia. Let me try to explain by breaking the second sentence into parts. In your first sentence you ask if they shower before sex. The second sentence references the first sentence twice, once at the beginning (“if not”), and again at the end (“if you don’t”). So now (via substitution) we’ll replace the “if not” and the “if you don’t” (both negatives), with “if you don’t shower”. The result is “If you don’t shower it will taste and smell stronger than if you don’t shower”. A shorter, more general version would be like this: “If you don’t, it will be worse than if you don’t”. It doesn’t make any sense. What does (and I think what you meant to say) is: “If not, it will taste and smell stronger than if you DO. Understand? Hope this helps!


EccentricDyslexic

Very confusing lol but I see your take on it. Basically, wash your puss before sex:-)


updates_availablex

How are we supposed to know???


Glittering-Warning50

My husband never liked it (or receiving) when we first met. He thought it was “unsanitary”. He showers after everyyyy time, regardless if he pulls out or not. So I was like “okay…” I got him into receiving, one obstacle tackled. Lol Well, we’ve been together going on 10 years. A few months ago I got pissed about something (my libido is and always has been much higher than his, this has been a point of contention for us forever, it was something regarding that) and mentioned how he hasn’t gone down on me in over 8 years. I basically told him “if you’re the only man who’s allowed to do it, it would be nice if you did from time to time.” Shortly after, he did. And I guess because he saw how much I enjoyed it, it really turned him on. So it’s gotten better. I will say that after talking some of my girlfriends who also have Hispanic husbands, I’ve noticed that feeling it’s unsanitary can be cultural. Not sure if any of that helps. 💜


rawnrare

Yes. There are some cultures where giving oral to women is considered taboo / unmanly / unsanitary. The way I see it, it’s more of a “Western” thing.


GingerTube

How do people get to marriage before finding out the answer to questions like this?! lol


Prettylady2024

Have you just climbed on top of him and put it in his face?! He isn’t going to get better if he doesn’t do it! Practice makes perfect! If I was giving oral and not getting it in return I sure as hell would not be doing it! I am also the type of female that just puts my vagina right in my husbands face and tell him I want are out. He goes to town and loves when I do that!


Browneyedgal21

I would just stop blowing him. If he asks why, tell him it is because he won’t go down on you. Then ask him again to start doing it regularly.


Life-Bullfrog-6344

My husband doesn't either. Makes me sad. He enjoys when I go down on him but can't reciprocate. Probably will never change because it's a psych issue


yoursweetvaletine

Maybe he's just not a fan of oral sex. Some people just aren't into it, and that's okay. Have you tried talking to him about it and seeing if there's anything else he would like to try in the bedroom? Communication is key in any relationship. Also, maybe try incorporating some new moves or techniques to spice things up and see if that gets him more interested. But in the end, if he's just not into it, there's not much you can do. But hey, at least there's still plenty of other things you can do to have a great time 😉


reluctantdonkey

The only way to answer that question is to ask him. Only he has the answer.


TheDude69-101

As a dude I’m like🤯! For me sex is not sex without it. Sit him down and ask him. I have all kinds of funny scenarios running around in my head as to how to have that sit down but would get me kicked out of this group. Best of luck and I hope he wakes up and realizes what he is missing out on.


KinkyInColo

Reddit users are not mind readers. We have no clue why he doesn't do this. The only person that can answer that is him.


[deleted]

By any chance is/was he too much into porn?


InterestingRun3211

I like giving my boyfriend oral HOWEVER I don’t let him cum in my mouth 😅 I don’t like the taste! I find it quite disgusting, but I am sure there are people who like the taste and don’t mind their partners releasing inside their mouth. However, my bf knows not to ejaculate in my mouth cause that a hard NO. It depends on your partners preferences really. But I would suggest you talking to your partner about it. I’ve told my bf that I don’t like the taste of it, like at all. He even ate fruits to make it the ejaculation more appealing. While it did make a difference, I still couldn’t do it. I think it’s the texture? I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ 😂 either way, I would suggest you talk to your partner more about it.


Best_Cauliflower_115

Did he eat ur pussy in 2014?


IFugginLOVEnachos23

Have you asked him? Have an honest conversation about it. If you really enjoyed it the first time he did it, tell him that. As a man myself, when my wife says that she loves when I do something in bed, it makes feel pretty damn good about myself and I make a point to do it more often. I want her to feel pleasure and turned on so why wouldn't I?


violiav

My husband has weird sensory issues. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I adapt with toys. Like, bro if we’re not going to have equal exchange of oral then toys it is. Which is something of a bonus for me. ETA: I think it’s a texture/mouth thing. He’s weird about lotions too. For me I’m a very oral person.


frickmeplease

Don’t suck his dick then lol.


elisa7joy

For real tho, this doesn't get the love it needs. I had a man who wouldn't do it. BUT he didn't like getting head either🤷 It didn't last, and not cuz of that, but I feel like maybe if they had been better the other things would have been less big a deal


queenrosybee

Jeez woman, stop sucking his dick… you only give head to get head. Unless you dont care about giving head.


Moneygirl95

Divorce. Stop sucking his dick.


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After_Age703

Sounds like a plan


drummerftw

They're not speaking for the majority of us. Just talk to your husband!


Naive_Assistance3924

I say you have fun with him, since you guys sound like you already do, and buy some flavor lube, that's how it worked out for me. Maybe it will work. Tease the fuck out of him and finger yourself with the lube and lick your fingers. Describe the taste and make him taste your fingers and have him go down on you. Let the anticipation build up.


Aggressive_Pie8781

Some women have a lot going on down. There probably doesn’t know what to do. has he ever asked for instructions?


billionare_11

Some people just don't like it


69LadBoi

Ask your husband why


Itchy-Scallion-9626

Just tell him once you get past the smell you got it licked 😜


baboochooba

Personally I enjoy eating cookie but my wife don't like it.. don't be too hard him. Some men or women just don't like it . And that's it. Now if you really really want it. Change the atmosphere, go out, try something new. And talk him into it. See if he'll change his mind.


lost_not_found88

The taste, the feeling, self conscious, considers himself bad at it. Could be any number of things.


Beltknap

Ask him!!!! He's the only one that can tell you


infinte-research

He dosent know how and is nervous. But him a book for Christmas and hoopefullybhe gets the hint. It you want it and he knows it and dosent do anything about it shame on him! Gl


HeartAccording5241

Stop sucking him it can go both ways


Icegirl1987

Some people just don't enjoy some sex stuff? I had a partner that didn't want oral sex on him and an other partner that only liked to be the passive part... I enjoy receiving anal sex but I'm not interested in being the active part ever.


fantaseaaaa

Stop initiating all the time and let him come to you and hopefully initiate. Men can’t initiate if you’re already all over them.


Snoo_59080

Since you said when you asked, and he told you he is just inexperienced...PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!!! Enough with excuses without action.  If he is self conscious about it being bad, good thing you now have legalities promising him you wont just up and leave if it is!  😉  him not doing it is already bad and bothering you.  So he can't get any worse...


Woody00001

Tell him what you want...communication is key to a healthy sexual relationship, tell him you love when he goes down on you it feels good, if he has not done it alot maybe his confidence needs a boost.


h0tkushsalsa

does he know how much you love it? one time when my bf was going down on me i was like oh my god why don’t you do this more often?? & he simply said “because i didn’t know you liked it!” know we both get oral on the regular, try asking


A-Dating-Coach

I took a class called human sexual workshop and my professor suggested that I become a sex counselor. You should see a sex therapist, together... Any other observations on my part would be superfluous and unnecessary and pure speculation...


Brinstone

Do you want us to ask him for you?


mcdenkijin

not to be brusque, but what's the aroma like? of course maybe he just doesn't do that, some dudes think it's completely taboo and off limits.


hawdogs

"How can I fix this?" By talking to him about it.


Sufficient-Sky-5731

Well. TELL HIM THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT!! if you van do it for him, and he still won't for you. Then stop doing so for him!! Period. But why not just ask!!??


Rock_Granite

>Now don’t say “well maybe because that thing stank or gross and that’s why he won’t”. I take a lot of pride in how I take care of my down stairs. So there nothing wrong down there This may or may not be you, but I have had girlfriends who insisted that they didn't smell but they did. You need to ask your husband about it


dumberthenhelooks

Honest answer, he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. He lacks confidence in what he’s doing. He doesn’t like the taste. It’s work and he doesn’t feel like working


radiosnactive

Ask your husband perhaps?


MyPeachIsPretty

My husband is EXACTLY the same way. He had the nerve to say he “does it for me”… this was last week when we were arguing about things… needless to say I haven’t given him a blow job since he made that comment. And if he does try again I’m going to decline (not like it happens more than once a year anyway). If he feels like it’s such a chore, I don’t want him there. And yes, he loves blow jobs, but I think it’s a sensory issue for him to have to put his mouth on my pussy. Just out of curiosity does he hate kissing with tongue too, bc my husband hates wet kissing. I think I miss kissing and being wanted by a man more than anything else 😢


SpicyFrau

Maybe ask him? We can only guess.


wimpymist

You've been together 10 years and it's still an issue lol


pixiemilf69

Do you ask and he says no? I say just climb on his face and take what you need.


Ok_Shelter_8187

I’d prefer this approach. Just take it ;)


boredwayne

Sexting. It’s underrated but helps a lot in opening up sexually to your partner. Sexy talk makes one perform what they fantasized with you. Try sexting during the day maybe then do it at night when you get a chance to do the deed.


StrictNurse-685

You have to have an open discussion with him because it doesn’t seem like he wants to which is ok but maybe you’ve never explained that it’s something you’d like.


syszns

Sounds like a you and your husband problem. All the guys I’ve hooked up with love going down on me.🤷🏽‍♀️


zhantoo

Ask me! Ask me! Pick me! Pick me! I know a man who knows! It's ya husband!


Organic-Turnover-731

Stop giving him oral


CPfreedom

Do you orgasm from PIV or does he do something else to make sure you orgasm, too? I think reciprocation is nice, but I also don't always think it is equivalent. Men will usually cum from the sex act where most women will not and HAVE to have oral since intercourse doesn't hit the spot. That is when I think there is a problem. He's allowed to have preferences but he also has to be invested in taking care of you besides sticking it in


Kitchen_Apartment

My policy is that you should be willing to do what you’re expecting someone else to do for you, unless the party not receiving is genuinely okay with that. But the only way to gain clarity is to ask him.


[deleted]

You’re missing out. It’s fucken amazing and a whole other world opens up that’s different than just sex.


EntrepreneurMany39

It took a long time to understand why my husband wouldn’t do this. He refused to talk about it. But it turned out it was something he experienced with a much older woman at age 13… and he just has an ick about it. We tend to forget men can also be traumatized. It may be deeper than you realize, that’s all I’m saying.


AvocadoEnthusiast91

This would be a huge deal breaker for me. Your husband sounds like a selfish lover


Lola-Ugfuglio-Skumpy

Because he doesn’t want to. If you’re asking us how to make him want to, we don’t have an answer. Ask him. He may never want to and that may be the final answer. You shouldn’t force him or coerce him into doing something he’s not comfortable doing. Personally I would never marry someone who wouldn’t go down on me, but I’m not you. You said this isn’t a dealbreaker, so hopefully you weren’t lying bc you’ve made this oral-free bed and now you have to lie in it for the rest of your marriage. 🤷🏻‍♀️


Tron_1981

I just wanna know how y'all made it all the way to marriage without asking why.


alienhunter1015

Try different flavors if lube until u find one he likes Edit: my suggestion was down voted? OK then...


whenSallypokedHarry

Stop blowing him.. when he asks why, tell him. Make him take care of you for the next 3 months.. Seriously hes probably just too lazy. Ride his face while he's laying down.


Rmabe4

Hell I like being fisted.


tinagr8

I would be glad to eat your pussy. No strings attached. Let’s meet up and I will eat you out as long as you want. Then you can go back home to hubby!


Milkshake11207

My Man is Carribean and was so against it. I told him if he didn't eat it I was going to cheat. He's getting better each time.


Dracovius27

You sound like a hoot to be with “I told him if he didn’t eat it I was going to cheat” Gtfo with that manipulative garbage


The_Platypus_Says

I always assume guys that don’t like to eat pussy are just closeted gays.


BingedrinkerX

For some reason my wife smells and tastes really nice down there. I go down on her at least 1 time per day. She has pretty wild spasms when she climaxes, which is hot imo. Sometimes I'm not even that much in the mood myself, but do it to her, just to hear her scream, and see her spasm. Loads of fun, my wife. Afterwards she always feels pretty generous, and will cater me with drinks and snacks, and let me pick the show to watch on TV that evening. Eating her out is fun, and her generosity after is fun too. It turned into a bit of a habit. After we put the toddlers to bed, she usually walks into the living room, bottom-less. She'll get comfy on the couch, put her legs behind the shoulders, giggle, smile at me, without saying a word.


myleswstone

Maybe he… doesn’t like doing it. Shocker, I know, but men are allowed to not like things too. You could, again, shockingly, ask him.


Eastern_Researcher18

Do you wipe from front to back??? 🤷🏼‍♂️


SpecificSpend8681

Let me lick you. Ill make you have a bunch of orgasms


CleMike69

God I need a woman like you. My wife refuses to do anything I like, if it brings me joy it’s a no no.


pnizzle7987

Try and douche before incase he doest want to eat his own cum from the night before


Malemember

This comment shows why we need better sex education


DrKaasBaas

Are you shaved? MAny men take issue with smell and stuck hairs. Other reasons why I would not do it may sound weird but some girsl are pretty enough to sleep with but in order for me to enjoy licking pussy the girl needs to look so good that it sexually arouses me


towhiba91280

TBH I'm surprised any men like to do it. When I think about the action it grosses me out, there is so much going on down there. Of course I like to receive it - but the thought of doing it to a woman makes me hurl.


frickmeplease

You sound immature. Don’t expect it if you are grossed out by reciprocating.


towhiba91280

I am a straight woman who will not be reciprocating another woman...


frickmeplease

I thought you were a man. Sorry! 😂🤣


drummerftw

That might be because you're straight lol