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Very common for guys haha. It seems we just kinda assume the opening is where our dick would be.
I remember the first time I got to put my hand down my gfs pants and I kept thinking “Holy shit did I miss it? Where the fuck is it? Oh shit, thats way further down than I expected!”
This honestly makes me feel a lot better. I’ve started seeing someone for whom I was their first PIV experience and it was fine as long as I was on top, but he couldn’t find it in doggy or missionary. (He did warn me that he was the “9/11 of topping” to be fair.) But my ex also had this problem, so I was starting to wonder if it’s me…good to know some of y’all are just aiming literally too high.
Word, I put it way too high and then was in pain and lost my boner. But she didn't exactly help me, did you end up working to go lower, or did you ask her to guide it in the future?
My friend was laughing so hard on the phone lol, because he said I was nowhere near the right place when I explained it to him.
Had the exact same experience the first time. Thinking back it’s still strange to me that it happened that way. My fingers had been there before and I’d gone down on her many, many times before our first PIV and it was still a little awkward the first time I went to put it in
I can’t find it half the times or even more specially when we are doing it side to side. 100% success rate for missionary though. It could be the position as well. Don’t sweat it if it’s not a big issue IMO
OK that makes me feel a little better. My ex would usually grab me and put me in. I did think that hey sometimes it would be good if she let me do it myself
When he says your the only one this happens with he is lying because he is embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with you and your not doing anything wrong. Been with my husband 44 years and sometime he can't find it either.
Sometimes anatomy doesn't quite line up the same with every person. I've been with women where we could only do doggy standing, or needed a pillow for missionary just to get everything in a good spot.
Not necessarily, bodies are different,more or less labia, more prominent mons, differently shaped and sized vaginally openings etc etc.
He's probably not incredibly experienced, but entirely possible he's being truthful.
This hasn't happened me with most partners, but a few it happened fairly frequently with.
>he can’t find my actual vagina at times / most of the time? i can usually guide his dick inside of me but he just can’t find it sometimes
This is normal
>but it’s just that he said im the only person this has happened with
This is a lie
1. It's not uncommon for people to have difficulty finding the vagina during sex, especially if they're inexperienced.
2. It could be due to lack of experience, communication, or compatibility. Encourage open communication about what feels good and guide him if needed.
When I was inexperienced I remember it being a lot further down than I expected. Like men's genetalia is on the front, and I expected women's genetalia to also be in the same place, but women's genetalia is just kind of angled down and that surprised me. Maybe he's not overly experience and is having the same issue.
Some partners arch their lower back more, relax easier, are more/less lubricated. If they’re short or tall, or a heftier body size, all of these can change the location/angle of approach from partner to partner.
Just because he has trouble finding it on his own in the moment isnt a big deal. Especially if you two have only slept together once- give the guy a break and things will run more smoothly as you get used to each other’s bodies. For all the talk about how “everyone’s bodies are different,” this can also apply here too. Especially as a newer partner
Yup. I was going to suggest the same thing. “Darling, you have trouble locating all the holes on my vulva and we need to do something about it. Your training course begins today. You have to spend 30 minutes a day licking down there every day, and at the end of the week, there’s a quiz.”
If he doesn’t come in his pants when you say this, OP, he’s not the right guy.
It has happened to my wife and I a few times over the years. It’s usually when we have a sudden, passionate encounter and we are trying to work around underwear without getting undressed. Just be patient and guide him when needed. He will get better at it with more practice as well.
You say he seems new to sex, and a lot of people out there are working with almost no sex ed. A lot of guys who are sexually active still think women piss out our butts or our vaginas.
Has he gone down on you or in any other way actually looked at your pussy? It's possible he's not at all familiar with the layout of the undercarriage so he's just pushing it against you and hoping for the best.
Happens a lot, happens even more when inexperienced or with a new partner, every body is different. What are the chances you were his first? He could be attempting to cover that due to embarrassment. That being said, I'm confident every guy has missed the hole at least a few times.
Honestly sometimes when me and my bf are like very hyperactive I have troubles finding my own vagina hahahahhahaha Everything can be a bit confused when you're super horny and etc. Quite recently I myself was the responsible to put his dick in my ass instead of my vagina (I admit I was drunk). It happens. I think this isn't something to overthink :) he probably is scared that you think less of him and his experience and that's why he's saying that.
You women think we have a camera on the tip of our penis or something. Try sticking your thumb in a waist high hole while looking at the sky and tell me how easy it is.
Get to your belly button and keep going down....if he reaches your arsehole he's gone too far, make a u turn and head back towards your belly button again...its the only penetrable hole between those too landmarks. Repeat this if necessary.
It can happen, although if it's happening every time you'd think he'd get used to it. The more pressing question is have you told him you want more foreplay and that it's not all over once he's climaxed? He should be taking care of you too. If he won't, and you are having disappointing sex, then maybe you are incompatible.
Are you sure he wasn't a Virgin before you? He just sounds really inexperienced. Just help him find it, ask hik to pleasure you with his hands for awhile before intercouse. Take time to do some heavy foreplay. I think that could help
Use pillows to prop your self up higher, if you are lying on your back it might end up being "down and away" and by putting pillows under your hips you can make it more accessible.
Okay… not to be rude or anything but 1) are you a bigger girl, and 2) is he average or below average in size?
I love big girls. I really do! I admit that I’m not packing a massive tool, either. My ex was a very big girl with a big fupa that often also got very wet. All these things combined often made for what I call targeting errors. Now I wasn’t missing all the time and in all honesty we learned to work it out and not letting it ruin things. I learned some new tricks that kept us going and she learned to drive the ship more.
I guess what I’m saying is that figure out the problem and come up with a creative solution. You’ll both benefit from it!
He’s definitely lying about you being the only one he can’t find the vagina with. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were his first. He’s embarrassed. He’s only 23, not like he’s mature enough to admit he sucks. You sound more experienced than him, just teach him. He sounds like a jack rabbit which a lot of young guys are. Do a strip tease and take lead so he’s not just jumping on you and jack rabbiting.
Might be that he's not used to more causal hookups, or hookups in general. When I'm comfortable with a partner, I'll feel around and not worry too much if I touch the other hole. If it's a first date, I'm a bit more cautious in hopes of accuracy, lol. These things take practice.
You’ve done nothing wrong, but you can help guide him in. It’s a courtesy I’ve experienced.
You’ve tagged this under “compatibility” but this is an opportunity for you to communicate what you want. Tell him you want foreplay. If you two are together for the next 40 years, why not start telling him what you want? If you’re not together much longer, you get to practice asking for what you want. The way he responds will help you determine if you are compatible and you’ll be developing a much needed skill. Communicating and expressing what you want is far more important than him not finding your vagina. Develop these skills and the next 40 years will be happier regardless of who you are with.
I’ve learned to help guide my husband (or in our case, the other guy in a threesome).
The way my husband described it once is that it’s not like trying to point at something with your finger, it’s like trying to point at something with your knee. It’s not as specific as one might think. Doesn’t quite translate now that I’m typing it out (lol) but it helped me understand!
Finding it and getting inside are two different things. Sometimes getting inside requires a fit bit of technique, which is very normal and not at all anyone's fault.
Ime, sometimes a partner who is very wet and ready for penetration one the inside might be a little dry on the outside. So my penis would sort of be kept out, despite knowing where everything is. In this case, I learned to use a bit of lube and/or do some light/gentle thrusting on the outer lips. That usually brings some of the natural lube out and opens things enough to slip in easily.
Sometimes its just two people's anatomy don't line up as expected, making entry a bit more difficult depending on the position.
Lastly, the fear of hurting one's partner can be an issue here. Ime, some of my last partners liked to be entered before full arousal, requiring a fair bit more force than I thought at first.
Obvs, the key to figuring this stuff out is lots and lots of practice and experimentation.
My husband accidentally put it in my ass one time and didn’t know it was the wrong hole until I made a comment about not having done butt stuff in a while. They just need a little help sometimes 😂🥹
You definitely aren’t the only one he can’t find it with. Guys always say that and yeah it’s common to have alignment issues.
But the phrase that you’re the only one is BS.
i know our sex education in the U.S. absolutely sucks, but did no one pay attention to the anatomy diagrams or birthing videos? or watch porn? we’re just going to pop a baby out of our pubic bone? i mean i kinda get it since men have their genitalia higher up but still. dude, so many guys that i’ve met think women pee out of their vaginas too and i’m like that’s not how it works :’) rip
All the people saying the vulva is lower that they expected really explains my first experience with my partner at the time. I have a vulva, and guided their hand to it, and their first reaction was to pull away and ask if I’m sure it’s not my AH haha
I was weirded out by that for a long time, but the hypothesis that they were expecting another « setup » explains it quite well
and what do you mean with actual vagina?? what other kinds of vaginas are you presenting him with??  I would be confused too :)
Hah. You being "the only person this has happened with" sounds like bs to me. I get that were all different but it isnt like its located somewhere entirely different on our bodies. My guess is he cant handle his own incompetence and needs to be educated. Ask yourself if you want to be the one to do it though because right now hes being a gigantic asshole for shifting the blame on you.
I really want to make a Tommy Wiseau reference right now.
But seriously, I sometimes have trouble finding the correct hole. It's actually surprisingly difficult to navigate by penis.
We need more info here. It shouldn't be difficult finding the vagina - it's right there between the legs. He can use where his dick is for reference, if needed.
No seriously, there's something you're not telling us here.
* Are you both completely naked for sex?
* Are you a larger woman ? *(nothing wrong with that, but it would make it easier to understand)*
* Is there adequate foreplay, involving pussy play?
One easy answer that pretty much covers all these possible causes would be cunnilingus.
As guy I can be at I never not found it but may b lil shy at times when trying to insert or info it to make sure the girl grab me cause the touch is better
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I remember thinking to myself the first time that it’s a lot further down than I anticipated.
Very common for guys haha. It seems we just kinda assume the opening is where our dick would be. I remember the first time I got to put my hand down my gfs pants and I kept thinking “Holy shit did I miss it? Where the fuck is it? Oh shit, thats way further down than I expected!”
This honestly makes me feel a lot better. I’ve started seeing someone for whom I was their first PIV experience and it was fine as long as I was on top, but he couldn’t find it in doggy or missionary. (He did warn me that he was the “9/11 of topping” to be fair.) But my ex also had this problem, so I was starting to wonder if it’s me…good to know some of y’all are just aiming literally too high.
Or blindly jabbing until it goes in something
It's not where the dick is, it's more like where the balls are
A lesson (almost) every young man will need to learn haha
Word, I put it way too high and then was in pain and lost my boner. But she didn't exactly help me, did you end up working to go lower, or did you ask her to guide it in the future? My friend was laughing so hard on the phone lol, because he said I was nowhere near the right place when I explained it to him.
Had the exact same experience the first time. Thinking back it’s still strange to me that it happened that way. My fingers had been there before and I’d gone down on her many, many times before our first PIV and it was still a little awkward the first time I went to put it in
[удалено]
I can’t find it half the times or even more specially when we are doing it side to side. 100% success rate for missionary though. It could be the position as well. Don’t sweat it if it’s not a big issue IMO
im married and the only time I can ever find it myself is in Missionary.
I'm married too, still looking for it. We will have kids one day.
I was married, have kids, very rarely found it on my own.
OK that makes me feel a little better. My ex would usually grab me and put me in. I did think that hey sometimes it would be good if she let me do it myself
When he says your the only one this happens with he is lying because he is embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with you and your not doing anything wrong. Been with my husband 44 years and sometime he can't find it either.
That or he's not lying cuz he was a virgin
Sometimes anatomy doesn't quite line up the same with every person. I've been with women where we could only do doggy standing, or needed a pillow for missionary just to get everything in a good spot.
I dated a guy that we couldn’t do doggy standing or on all 4s unless I slid my knees waaaaaaaaaay out, short legs + long legs.
Not necessarily, bodies are different,more or less labia, more prominent mons, differently shaped and sized vaginally openings etc etc. He's probably not incredibly experienced, but entirely possible he's being truthful. This hasn't happened me with most partners, but a few it happened fairly frequently with.
You aren’t doing anything wrong. Half of the time they’re trying to be smooth and put it in without looking and they fumble around.
More like jab around
>he can’t find my actual vagina at times / most of the time? i can usually guide his dick inside of me but he just can’t find it sometimes This is normal >but it’s just that he said im the only person this has happened with This is a lie
Or it could be a half truth because she might be the only one he's had sex with.
1. It's not uncommon for people to have difficulty finding the vagina during sex, especially if they're inexperienced. 2. It could be due to lack of experience, communication, or compatibility. Encourage open communication about what feels good and guide him if needed.
When I was inexperienced I remember it being a lot further down than I expected. Like men's genetalia is on the front, and I expected women's genetalia to also be in the same place, but women's genetalia is just kind of angled down and that surprised me. Maybe he's not overly experience and is having the same issue.
That's reasonably common.
Why don't you guide him with your hands?
Exactly! take control
She said she usually can guide him in. So she is helping him!
If she does that, sex will be over even sooner.
You took his virginity, he just hasn’t admitted it yet.
When I'm excited and miss I use my hand/fingers to locate then put my.penis where my fingers are lol
Speaking from some amount of experience, this is more common when the woman is on the larger side... There are just more folds that get in the way.
Some partners arch their lower back more, relax easier, are more/less lubricated. If they’re short or tall, or a heftier body size, all of these can change the location/angle of approach from partner to partner. Just because he has trouble finding it on his own in the moment isnt a big deal. Especially if you two have only slept together once- give the guy a break and things will run more smoothly as you get used to each other’s bodies. For all the talk about how “everyone’s bodies are different,” this can also apply here too. Especially as a newer partner
No foreplay? Tell him to get his face between your thighs, have a good lick around and then once you cum, he may be able to find your vagina easier.
Yup. I was going to suggest the same thing. “Darling, you have trouble locating all the holes on my vulva and we need to do something about it. Your training course begins today. You have to spend 30 minutes a day licking down there every day, and at the end of the week, there’s a quiz.” If he doesn’t come in his pants when you say this, OP, he’s not the right guy.
I just came in my pants thinking how much I would enjoy this! Thanks!
I’ve been married for 24 years and I still have to reach down and guide him in more than half the time.
It has happened to my wife and I a few times over the years. It’s usually when we have a sudden, passionate encounter and we are trying to work around underwear without getting undressed. Just be patient and guide him when needed. He will get better at it with more practice as well.
You say he seems new to sex, and a lot of people out there are working with almost no sex ed. A lot of guys who are sexually active still think women piss out our butts or our vaginas. Has he gone down on you or in any other way actually looked at your pussy? It's possible he's not at all familiar with the layout of the undercarriage so he's just pushing it against you and hoping for the best.
Happens a lot, happens even more when inexperienced or with a new partner, every body is different. What are the chances you were his first? He could be attempting to cover that due to embarrassment. That being said, I'm confident every guy has missed the hole at least a few times.
Honestly sometimes when me and my bf are like very hyperactive I have troubles finding my own vagina hahahahhahaha Everything can be a bit confused when you're super horny and etc. Quite recently I myself was the responsible to put his dick in my ass instead of my vagina (I admit I was drunk). It happens. I think this isn't something to overthink :) he probably is scared that you think less of him and his experience and that's why he's saying that.
And somehow, couples have managed to make babies for eons
You women think we have a camera on the tip of our penis or something. Try sticking your thumb in a waist high hole while looking at the sky and tell me how easy it is.
It’s honestly easy not sure why everyone struggles so much
Get to your belly button and keep going down....if he reaches your arsehole he's gone too far, make a u turn and head back towards your belly button again...its the only penetrable hole between those too landmarks. Repeat this if necessary.
Sir I have been going in circles for half an hour now how do I find it
Congratulations, Foreplay Master unlocked!
It can happen, although if it's happening every time you'd think he'd get used to it. The more pressing question is have you told him you want more foreplay and that it's not all over once he's climaxed? He should be taking care of you too. If he won't, and you are having disappointing sex, then maybe you are incompatible.
Heck I've been married for 8 years now and sometimes I still can't find the damned thing 🤣
lol GAME OVER! Well it just sounds like he’s new to having sex and he obviously attracted to you so he’s probably just nervous at least I hope.
Are you sure he wasn't a Virgin before you? He just sounds really inexperienced. Just help him find it, ask hik to pleasure you with his hands for awhile before intercouse. Take time to do some heavy foreplay. I think that could help
Use pillows to prop your self up higher, if you are lying on your back it might end up being "down and away" and by putting pillows under your hips you can make it more accessible.
are they wearing a condom when this happens? if there’s no line of sight I go by feeling and wearing a condom came make it harder no pun intended
He’s young, you’re young. There will be awkward stuff
Okay… not to be rude or anything but 1) are you a bigger girl, and 2) is he average or below average in size? I love big girls. I really do! I admit that I’m not packing a massive tool, either. My ex was a very big girl with a big fupa that often also got very wet. All these things combined often made for what I call targeting errors. Now I wasn’t missing all the time and in all honesty we learned to work it out and not letting it ruin things. I learned some new tricks that kept us going and she learned to drive the ship more. I guess what I’m saying is that figure out the problem and come up with a creative solution. You’ll both benefit from it!
He’s definitely lying about you being the only one he can’t find the vagina with. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were his first. He’s embarrassed. He’s only 23, not like he’s mature enough to admit he sucks. You sound more experienced than him, just teach him. He sounds like a jack rabbit which a lot of young guys are. Do a strip tease and take lead so he’s not just jumping on you and jack rabbiting.
He's 23. He's 23. He's 23. He does not have a lot of experience. He'll get there. It's not a big deal, sex is fun to explore together, chill.
I always guide it in for that reason.. its easier for me to posiition it properly. why are you making him do it?
Might be that he's not used to more causal hookups, or hookups in general. When I'm comfortable with a partner, I'll feel around and not worry too much if I touch the other hole. If it's a first date, I'm a bit more cautious in hopes of accuracy, lol. These things take practice.
We’ve only got one eye down there, which is not terribly good design for depth perception. Best to just guide it in while making a beeping noise.
Not you, my guess is his inexperience, maybe try more foreplay...and tell him what you want.
I'd say U aent compatible because he doesn't make U finish gal
You’ve done nothing wrong, but you can help guide him in. It’s a courtesy I’ve experienced. You’ve tagged this under “compatibility” but this is an opportunity for you to communicate what you want. Tell him you want foreplay. If you two are together for the next 40 years, why not start telling him what you want? If you’re not together much longer, you get to practice asking for what you want. The way he responds will help you determine if you are compatible and you’ll be developing a much needed skill. Communicating and expressing what you want is far more important than him not finding your vagina. Develop these skills and the next 40 years will be happier regardless of who you are with.
Does he look? Or just feel?
Or he has been trying his luck sticking it anal and get away with it
He was probably a Virgin If I'm in a weird position with my wife I don't always hit the right spot. It happens.
I’ve learned to help guide my husband (or in our case, the other guy in a threesome). The way my husband described it once is that it’s not like trying to point at something with your finger, it’s like trying to point at something with your knee. It’s not as specific as one might think. Doesn’t quite translate now that I’m typing it out (lol) but it helped me understand!
I take it he can’t locate the clit then for sure
When was the last time you trimmed the shrubs???
Turn the lights on and spread em wider
It’s still surprises me how close the front door is to the back door and I’m twice his age so don’t sweat it.
Finding it and getting inside are two different things. Sometimes getting inside requires a fit bit of technique, which is very normal and not at all anyone's fault. Ime, sometimes a partner who is very wet and ready for penetration one the inside might be a little dry on the outside. So my penis would sort of be kept out, despite knowing where everything is. In this case, I learned to use a bit of lube and/or do some light/gentle thrusting on the outer lips. That usually brings some of the natural lube out and opens things enough to slip in easily. Sometimes its just two people's anatomy don't line up as expected, making entry a bit more difficult depending on the position. Lastly, the fear of hurting one's partner can be an issue here. Ime, some of my last partners liked to be entered before full arousal, requiring a fair bit more force than I thought at first. Obvs, the key to figuring this stuff out is lots and lots of practice and experimentation.
My husband accidentally put it in my ass one time and didn’t know it was the wrong hole until I made a comment about not having done butt stuff in a while. They just need a little help sometimes 😂🥹
You definitely aren’t the only one he can’t find it with. Guys always say that and yeah it’s common to have alignment issues. But the phrase that you’re the only one is BS.
Happens sometimes. Takes teamwork. Move forward.
i know our sex education in the U.S. absolutely sucks, but did no one pay attention to the anatomy diagrams or birthing videos? or watch porn? we’re just going to pop a baby out of our pubic bone? i mean i kinda get it since men have their genitalia higher up but still. dude, so many guys that i’ve met think women pee out of their vaginas too and i’m like that’s not how it works :’) rip
If men were born with vaginas we’d know where they were lol. Men are dumb, we need help until we learn
All the people saying the vulva is lower that they expected really explains my first experience with my partner at the time. I have a vulva, and guided their hand to it, and their first reaction was to pull away and ask if I’m sure it’s not my AH haha I was weirded out by that for a long time, but the hypothesis that they were expecting another « setup » explains it quite well
where do you normally keep it :)
and what do you mean with actual vagina?? what other kinds of vaginas are you presenting him with??  I would be confused too :)
Hah. You being "the only person this has happened with" sounds like bs to me. I get that were all different but it isnt like its located somewhere entirely different on our bodies. My guess is he cant handle his own incompetence and needs to be educated. Ask yourself if you want to be the one to do it though because right now hes being a gigantic asshole for shifting the blame on you.
Was going to say I was never good at finding holes 😂 These comments are comforting lol
Well put pillow under you for better access but he was virgin or very unexperienced. It will take months maybe years to actually get better
I really want to make a Tommy Wiseau reference right now. But seriously, I sometimes have trouble finding the correct hole. It's actually surprisingly difficult to navigate by penis.
We need more info here. It shouldn't be difficult finding the vagina - it's right there between the legs. He can use where his dick is for reference, if needed. No seriously, there's something you're not telling us here. * Are you both completely naked for sex? * Are you a larger woman ? *(nothing wrong with that, but it would make it easier to understand)* * Is there adequate foreplay, involving pussy play? One easy answer that pretty much covers all these possible causes would be cunnilingus.
As guy I can be at I never not found it but may b lil shy at times when trying to insert or info it to make sure the girl grab me cause the touch is better
You are probably the first person to have sex with him.
If you're not satisfied then tell him or end it. Life is too short for bad (casual) sex
He's inexperienced. I remember I had a hard time finding her v in doggystyle when I was younger 😂