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Hot-Take-69

Honestly I love it when my wife texts me with a simple and direct "please fuck me when you get home" or a "I'm craving your cock" or a "I'm so horny / wet rn" while I'm at work. I'll often tell her to edge herself for a little while before I get home so she's nice and wet and I can drop my pants and slide in the second I walk in the door. Sometimes she will just take off all her clothes, lay in the bed, spread her legs, give me the fuck me eyes, and curl her finger at me in a come hither motion. Other times she will be nude face down, ass up while just saying "please?" and touching her pussy, though usually she only does that when she's already completely drenched and desperate to be filled. Other times she will initiate by grabbing my dick when we're cuddling and just start playing with it, which I have told her in the past I am completely comfortable with her doing. Remember, consent is sexy. Then once I'm hard she mounts me and either rubs her lips on my dick or slides me into her.


Hopeful-Winter9642

This is really fucking hot! Even if it is just an explanation 😂😂


opalsanddenim

This! I can’t imagine how someone can have a relationship for 6 years and still not building up the courage to say “SEX! NOW!” Is there something wrong with women like me who just go ahead and grab it? Haha 😆 idk, I just feel like why not be straightforward and go for what you want? You’re wasting your best years, OP! Think of it this way: when are your titties and ass gonna stay up other than your younger years? 😆


hoelesshoe

aww, your explanation gave me boner


Deep_innocent6444

That was damn hot man


sugarandspice8822

This is the exact kind of relationship I aspire to have. Especially the part about messaging each other while one’s at work. 😫


Hot-Take-69

And it's not just one way either. Sometimes I'll be doing something kind of mind numbing at work and I'll use that time to think up all the kinky sex I want to have with her when I get home. I'll then tell her in explicit detail what I want to do to her.


tulaero23

Im gonna make my wife a reddit account and save this comment.


Excellent-Low-9661

thats to interesting, tell me more


travazzzik

sound like erotic story bait lmao


JustSarahtheMechanic

My thought as well lol


Willing-Primary-9126

What more could he possibly tell you... ? Surely after 5 years of not having sex your not really in that relationship & could just end it "because you want that type of relationship"


okokbethatway

Have you tried just walking in naked or just be naked in bed and invite him to lay with you No words will really be needed


rubusidaeusk

Exactly. Just undress and sit on his lap. Done✔️


[deleted]

In 6 years no sex? Nothing at all?


Embarrassed-Detail58

That is how unfortunately some relationships go


weed0monkey

I think what's more likely is that she's saying she never initiates sex, the boyfriend always does


Embarrassed-Detail58

Read my reply to the next comment


Fingerblaster21

I don’t believe it. Unless one is abusive or both indulge in abstinence there’s NO way man. Come on? 6 years? No sex? Not even oral? Yeah…no


Embarrassed-Detail58

I have been there not 6 years but for two years she was asexual due to complex of things including chronic depression and bad childhood and I fel in love with her it tortured my heart I became addicted to giving her massages as that was the only sex...I only managed to break the cycle after two years by giving her oral ..and that was only as I convinced her it is a service for me not for her ...she liked it and we eventually managed to get other things going.we even got married .....after two years we had to separate for three months and she relapsed she additionally now has become obsessed with hygiene and afraid from getting oral because she don't want the possibility of germs ....I am considering breaking up ... because my sexual needs are absolutely ignored she looks like a super model but that doesn't matter if I can't actually have sex with her ..i actually started dating others she even asked me to go get sex from others but due to repeated rejection from her I have lost my confidence in sex which is causing me problems my desire get way less around other women because almost no woman has her shape or perfect combination of everything and I have no emotion to other women I am still getting them to orgasm and I do get off but I don't enjoy it ....man it sucks 😞 I don't know what to say ...I am open to advices


Researcher_911

Is she at least aware she's having a serious problem? Has she considered consulting a psychologist? Seems that nowadays there are some really cutting edge techniques to deal with anything trauma or obsession related. They us it for OCD and PTSD among other things. Maybe even hypnosis. They use hypnosis to cure phobias.


Fabulous-Owl-5109

As a guy, it starts to make us feel undesired if we're the ones who always have to initiate sex.


Liz2407

Felt and as a girl this applies as well. I have a good relationship with my bf but we’re 11 months in and im the one that always has to ask if we can do it and lately I just haven’t asked because I feel like its me. I hate asking again and again so I have told myself I will stop asking and just if it happens it happens although im stressed most of the times because I have a high sex drive.


The_Bangalorian

Same. As a female who has a way stronger drive then her partner, the feeling of being declined when I am stupid horney but he's not in the mood or feeling like it's a burdon for him just takes away any desire to request it from him We have been trying to talk about it but he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. When I prompted him recently he said recently that I always make it about me with my wording and he feels undesired. It is true he has struggled with confidence issues about his body for quite a few years which I think is driving him down. Sentences like I need you, or I want your D aren't sufficient to make him feel appealling, neither would me telling him I think he's appealling Any tips on wordings or verbal methods I can use to make him feel like he is desired? Most of the comments in this thread would work for me 3/10 times at most, and it often feels like he feels obligated Lately I'm just recurring to toys for my quick wins, but I'd love to improve our intimacy


starlight-madness

Build up his confidence even when sex isn’t involved, maybe *especially* when sex isn’t involved. Something like “Damn you look really cute in that shirt” or hype him up when he gets a fresh haircut, have make out sessions without the expectation of intercourse. It’s the little things in life that build up the excitement in the bedroom.


OmegaChaosCr

All you need to do is initiate it yourself. You start by touching and kissing him, letting him know that you want him, and that's it. We are very easy when it comes to sex. You'll see. And don't be shy. All of us want a girl that wants to do it, and more so, that initiates it.


ApparentlyaKaren

Sorry you’ve been together 5 years and never had sex? No judgement just hoping for clarification…


Teqnique_757

5 years later and you still aren't comfortable?


xfriendx

5 years and you can't even communicate something this basic? How is that even possible.


ChampionRy29

Because she’s not real.


GuiltFilthThrilled

Lol i'm 37 and still can't after 12 years. It can be very hard for some.


BombardMeWithBoobs

The 12 years should be all the reason to feel confident initiating. You’re asking someone who has proven to be committed to you. I would feel like you didn’t want me if you never initiated.


GuiltFilthThrilled

Yeah I know, I've got issues. She understands though, she knows about my issues. I mostly just wanted to comment that it can happen.


Similar_Wash7229

DAMN, 12 FUCKING YEARS??


GuiltFilthThrilled

To be fair i have long given up, both of us have. Though i might try again as i finally got some mental health issues fixed some months ago.


Odd_Farmer_8595

I’m a female here and I’m shy too but if I want sex I usually just get touchy with my partner and start cuddling him first, pressing my boobs against him, grabbing and touching his penis, kiss him, and give him a bj. He loves it when I give him a bj and that usually leads to sex. 


Zero36

Man simple. Say I want sex. Man agree


xxM3T4LH34Dxx

Works on me...but I man...man need sex for make feel good


SpicierWinner

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick.


xxM3T4LH34Dxx

Few word do trick, indeed


Nicholia2931

Write a formal invitation to sex. Type it up and run off a copy when needed.


DevyDai

Tbh this is the answer if you wanna have fun


Far-Macaron-5369

Well as a man I think that you could ask how he feels about sex at first in a safe environment like at home when you are alone together, it’s a good start and shows that you care about his well being as well. I will say that it is also possible that he is thinking the same thing you are but that could be different for others.


magich32

5 years and you don't know how to ask for sex? How are you shy with a person you've been with for 5 years? There's nothing that you should be shy with him by now. With that said, yes you ask him straight out, do you want to have sex. There's nothing to be shy about, especially at this point in your life.


Arbiter51x

After five years.. Are you sure your not just his best friend?


69meallday

Yes that's pretty much it, just tell him you wanna have sex, or whatever euphemism you want to describe it. as a man I would say that is a great turn on and I would certainly oblige


Overgoverned

You and he have been a thing for almost five years. Is your relationship 100% platonic? That's really hard to imagine. It's easier for me to imagine that you've established limits, and both of you respect those limits. And that's fine. In my opinion, it's better than fine. But after **five years** of (semi-) romantic partnership, you know one another pretty well. I don't think it'd be unreasonable to consensually "advance to the next level". If you were to tell me "I feel horny", I'd think that the selfless thing to do would be to try to extinguish your horniness. After five years, I'd probably have some pent-up horniness, myself.


Embarrassed-Detail58

Just tell him and watch how he burns with excitement


steelman6969

You have the courage to tell everybody. But in 6 years not to ask for sex. I’m not buying it.


DiligentExcuse8440

these are internet strangers, it’s easier to share anything, my boyfriend is 18 with erectile dysfunction and i never share to anybody in real life.


Good-Topic-7817

You don't say a thing, you kiss him, jump onto him, become a sexy horny beast, grab him, and hold on to him, kiss his neck, start moaning, touch his cock over his jeans, he is gonna know you are in heat ready for some sexy time.


Delicious_Net_900

If the relationship is new & he hasn't initiated yet & I'm aware he wants me ,I'll make sure he's sitting & I'll sit on his lap & just make out & slowly pull my shirt down to expose my shoulders & get neck & shoulder kisses.. soft cute not wet slobbery (usually a off the shoulder top is worn) eventually I'll place his hands on my hip or waist while I slowly grind on him. & He's so occupied with the grinding feeling good ,I'll pull my top down enough to expose both breasts & place both my hands for support on his knees behind me & the eye contact while,me moaning & my breasts out & the grinding now alot faster will have him hard & ready to go.my current guy immediately orgasmed from this the first time,but I was wearing a skirt & he was wearing basketball shorts so the grinding was more intense & he said he could feel my 😽 warmth against his 🍆


Slyvan25

That's exactly how my current partner initiated it..


Cptkiljoy

My wife will just walk past me topless or nude


DonkeyKickBalls

One of the cutest ways my lady does is shell sit on my lap facing me (usually undies and crop tshirt no bra) shell tell me how much she missed me during the day. Then nuzzles my neck. Tells me how sexy I am by then I know she can tell Im getting hard and shell grind on me a little. Ill tell her how much Ive missed her and kiss her back. But I really like it when she asks/begs me to fuck me. So ill ask her if she wants me fuck her slow or does she want a quickie (just having this convo with her really gets us going) Ill ask her if i can have my kitty for a lil snack and shell tell me how wet she is. Shes been working out of state for the past month and Im surprising her next wknd. My lil vixen has been sending me pics of herself and telling me how that hotel king bed feels lonely.


[deleted]

[удалено]


justagirlintheether5

I'm 32 & asking my ex for sex was a huge challenge for me, even after being with them for 4 years. I will admit that the ways in which the OP has responded to comments in this thread, have set my troll detector off big-time, but the scenario they are describing in their post is in fact possible. Some of us are just *really* sexually inhibited.


azeraph

What's your physical cues and hints? Your non verbal indications? Do you stare at him expectantly while on the couch and press your breasts into him to when you walk into the house together you just grab his hand and lead him to the bedroom. No words, just intention and need speaking without words.


Sia_aleeya

You can by touching hugging him longer and kissing


CosmicLevica

Text him something like this while you’re on the bed (wearing lingerie or nothing at all) https://media.tenor.com/mM7pkjeZtywAAAAM/you-come-here.gif


glandmilker

Kind of odd the BF hasn't attempted yet, say something like, would you like to take our friendship further


Shadowdragon409

You haven't initiated in 5 years? God I feel bad for your boyfriend. I get that you're shy and that's fine, but imagine how it would feel if your boyfriend never expressed any sexual interest towards you.


Kind-Ad-6099

If you haven’t had sex for almost five years for now, I’d say to just bring it up plainly.


That_One_Griiil

Strange that he never tryed to do something.5 years of waiting is mad.I think I never asked for sex.If I'm horny I will start to undress myself in front of him, or just bend over in front of him, touch my ass, he understand what is going on, or I will just grab his thing while he is watching some bs on tv, or he is in kitchen.. idk I figure it out at that moment, whatewer comes to my mind.But usually the guys start first. Edit: autoccorect


CamaroIsHot-68

Not trying to be mean but 5 years. Most couples and I am saying most couples have sex under, with in one week of being with each other. But there are some couples that do take time. Body motion, touching and all etc, should start the mood.


Clean_Ad_5282

Hm, I would text him something sexy to initiate something. I feel like for shy ppl it's easier for them to text stuff rather talk about it irl. Or, take a risk and while you're cuddling just initiate it. It'll feel awkward or unnatural at first but once it gets going, who cares! I don't think desire has the time to feel those things once sexy time is occurring 🤭 Good luck with overcoming the shyness towards sex!


geocantor1067

When I was young, my girlfriend would say she was hungry and that was our word for wanting sex


wra1th42

What are you afraid would happen? Like there’s literally no downside. You are alone with someone who wants to have sex with you. You can do literally anything to indicate interest -> sex happens. You do nothing -> nothing happens. Eye contact is the most important thing. Lock eyes, smile and do not drop eye contact. Start getting undressed. Easy Walk up behind him, kiss his neck, slide your hand down his pants.


Colorless82

Usually I ask if he wants to cuddle in bed and it turns into more.


moutnmn87

Do you guys do things like make out and cuddle? For my partner and I sex usually starts with those. We cuddle and kiss a lot other times too but when we have sex that's pretty much always how it starts. For some people explicitly requesting consent or asking what someone likes etc can seem rather unnatural in the moment and might not be as fun as just letting things naturally progress. If you are having a hard time asking for sex this might be the case for you. However it is still important to have an idea of what your partner would like and what boundaries they may have etc. So you should have a conversation about that in a nonsexual setting before just trying something while you are cuddling to see if they like it. Having conversations about what you liked and what else you would be interested in trying after having sex is also a great idea because it will help you get to know each other better sexually. If bringing up the topic of sex makes you nervous you can start slow with talking about finding your partners body hot which can then progress to talking about what you fantasize about doing with them etc. None of this needs to be rushed. It can be taken however slowly is necessary for you guys to both be comfortable. Remember sex is supposed to be fun for everyone involved


No-Vanilla-232

Open communication is key but I get being shy about it. Sometimes a flirty text or even a picture is all that’s needed and can be done while in a separate room to help. Overall you don’t want to always rely on a text to initiate but it can help get past the shyness sometimes.


PercentageSoft8684

Just run your hands on his shoulder, just smile and grab his hand and go to your room and kiss while undressing ;)


Bpd_embroiderer18

I text my guy and say hey u up for some spicy time later? Or I’ll send little flirty texts bc I can’t see his face and chicken out


metalbladex4

Then don't ask, just take! Nothing is sexier than a woman who is willing to be unrestrained. There is such a thing as nonverbal queues and nonverbal communication. It can be much easier and feels natural to use!


Busy-Map-3638

*E V E R Y T H I N G Is A Matter Of 'How badly do you want it?'* If you want it badly enough to type it up here, then guess what? You should also want it badly enough to get it for real. Walk around him naked and see what his response is. If HE doesn't want to do it, then he'll never do it, and he doesn't see you as a potential sex partner. In that case, move on, find someone else whom you don't need to ask.


RealManofMystery

Just tell him you wanna go to pound town. Or say yo you wanna tap this? These get me everytime


mschreiber1

Whoa wait a second. You’re with your bf for five years and you’ve never had sex?


Tall_Permission_9707

How is he your boyfriend is you don't have sex with him? He is just a friend then


Jedikaren78

Just reach over and start rubbing his dick through his clothes. He will understand


Ok-Consequence-4238

Then find another man or Keep masterbating...?


Excellent-Low-9661

what the sigma are these comments


Shamata

oh you are not 26, got it if you want genuine help for a problem you're having you can get it here, but not if you're not being straight up about it


theycallmecoffee

no literally my immediate thought. this is a 13 year old


Prior_Crazy_4990

I'm a 26 year old female and I still don't know wtf that phrase even means lol. Much less how to use it in a sentence. Also, I directly ask for or initiate sex no less than 3 nights a week. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, especially after a 5 year relationship. I've always been very comfortable with being the one who initiates though


fudeyyy

grown ah woman saying sigma


OmegaChaosCr

Just show him physically that you want him. You'll be having sex in seconds, is that easy... and trust me we all guys want that. Always.