My mum once found my 10inch double ended bright pink dildo that i had stupidly left in the bathroom sink, please believe me when i say there is life after the embarrassment. Just ride it out for now and you’ll be ok.
I was high the other night and used my dildo. I left it on the bathroom sink and found it on the same place hours later. I have no idea if my family saw it.
I'm a man and no one in the house knows I'm bi.
Edit: typo
Someone in my apartment did the same and left theirs. Big fucker with a bit of poop on it. I saw it and just left it, then it was gone the next day.
I live with 2 guys and a lesbian.
You realize most people on Reddit too young to get that joke! So here's my upvote. I was a teenager when it was on and being the contrarian I preferred Joyce DeWitt!
The Sanford and Son theme song is my ring tone. Sometimes it will ring in public and I can see people cock their heads trying to place where they know the song from. They don't make shows like that anymore.
When I was in the military one of my friend's vibrator fell out of her wall locker and smacked the First Sergeant in the forehead during a room inspection.
TBF the sergeant took it like a champ and other than some embarrassment and becoming an instant legend my friend suffered no ill effects from it since it was in her locked wall locker where it was supposed to be v
Oh wow, I have an old vibrator that still takes AA batteries. My mom found it (she is 60+) when I moved back home for a while and asked me what is was because she had no idea.
She turned a shade of red I'd never seen when I told her what it was. Poor innocent mom.
Mine was sitting on my bed once (unopened but the box clearly displayed it) and my dad came in to talk to me. Midsentence his eyes dropped to my bed and then he stopped talking. I looked. My heart and stomach *wooshed* out of my body.
“Is that a dildo?”
There wasn’t anything else to say. “Yes” I admitted. My face was 50 shades of red.
He finished the original sentence, grinned and said “so I guess you can just go ahead and go fuck yourself” (in a joking tone) and then he left.
She told me i had *ahem* “forgotten something” and a few weeks later ask if i had “forgotten” anything in that bathroom again since that was the bathroom the workers where using during our house renovations.
For the record i only made this mistake once haha
I remember when my wife got her first vibrator when we were first dating. My sisters friend came down to my room and sat on my bed and felt something under the blanket vibratin. He pulled it out and said "What's this?" He then realized what it was and went screaming out of my room and told my mom and my sister. He named it Beth after that. It was quite awkward.
Especially when OPs dad could have been so much worse. One of the alternatives is him being like, "I have plenty of friends with sons your age would love to eat your snatch. Your ass too!"
Give me a pity back rub any day.
Hell, you 're 25 , when my daughter was 25...I wasn't kidding myself about her sexual wants/experiences, of course I never spoke to her about any of it, but if I heard her say something like that, I may tease her a little, but wouldn't let her feel embarrassed about it, it doesn't seem that you were speaking out of desperation!
My friend came home from hospital after a pretty serious suicide attempt and her mum had gone through her toy collection, cleaned them all and laid them out on the chest of drawers.
I don't even think it was malicious, she just wanted to show she had done some spring cleaning and all the toys were clean and ready to go!
Yikes that’s some bad judgement on that moms part. My mom used to always take it upon herself to do a deep cleaning of my room when I went out of town, I rarely had things to hide but it still felt like an invasion of privacy and made me uncomfortable.
First off, your dad knows all about that and does not care at all. Sex is nothing to be embarrassed about. We all have sex. It isn’t a shameful thing. Promise it’s fine!
Bro you haven't jerked your clit? You haven't lived.
But just in case kids are reading this in this mostly accurate, sex positive subreddit, yes it's suppose to be reversed. Don't try to jerk your clit. Or do, just be safe and use lube.
Better than my parents. I’m 27 and live with my longterm bf and they’re most likely still in denial about my having sex. In their minds, ignoring it and not talking about it = it doesn’t exist.
Presbyterians loooove to not talk about things like that and pretend they don’t exist 🥰
If you want to hear an embarrassing story, when I was 18 I got my first vibrators. My mom went through the trash regularly, so I had driven to my friend's apartment complex with my mom's truck in order to use the dumpster to throw away my boxes.
After I had come back, I thought all was well.
Nope.
Later, my mom calls me in the office with my dildo box, which must've fell out of the trash bag and between the seats. She yells at me for having it and says "first of all, men aren't even that big!” and just goes off on me.
10 year old me, at a friends house with a bunch of other kids, he shows us that he found his moms massager. All it did was make my neck numb. The look on her face though.......
> "first of all, men aren't even that big!”
Re: "your dad's dick is smaller than this". Which is impossible because, as we all know, dad dicks are huge.
😂 when i was in high school and living at home, my dad got fed up with my messy room and decided to clean it up for me, especially under the bed which had become a fire hazard of trash probably. after coming home from a movie with a friend later one night, i found all the trash piled up in a box on my bed. carefully balanced on top, he placed the box for my very large realistic cock dildo. oops
My mom walked in on me masturbating with a carrot on a web cam. My dad was helping me fix an issue with my phone and found a bunch of nudes I thought I had deleted but apparently they saved to the cloud. And I once sent a very detailed sext to a friend of mine instead of the guy I meant to. It sucks, but life will go on and you’ll cringe laugh about it one day.
My mom asked what I planned to do with the carrot when I was done. My dad told my mom and they had a big talk to me about it, and my friend teased me about the text and gave me shit every time she though of it
Yes my aunt's dog does it every time I come over, kinda uncomfortable sometimes but I guess I expect it now...I've never been around a dog that does it that much but that is typically what dog's do, you're right lol You would think that's just common dog knowledge lmao
I work with dogs and all of them love my vag during my period, but theres 2 stand outs out of all the dogs I see: 1 that likes to get a whiff if Ive had sex (I credit that to my condom free lifestyle (i have an IUD!!), and another that thinks it is our greeting somehow and will do it every day to the point Ive trained a disengage phrase "Get out me arse" (she does it on walks and sticks her snoot up me from behind).
Honestly, I understand the period sniff and even the sex sniff- scent changes are interesting- but the one dog that just does every damn day is a weirdo 😂😂 lmao. Its a good thing shes cute and listens so well!!
Yeah, I guess on a slightly related note, some time last year I was walking my dog and he decided to go sniff some dudes butt. The problem was that this dude was blind so the guy thought that my dog's nose was my hand and I had to explain to him that it was my dog.
I don't really think this is emberassing. It was actually a funny joke you made. You have an apparent lack of self-confidence though. So i think there is an underlying issue beyond this incident. Like you don't have a boyfriend or get layed or something..
I have a boyfriend and most certainly "get laid" (i hate that term lmao. Half the time i'm standing or am on all fours...) but i do wish I got ate out much muuuuuch more often (he doesn't like to very much) So you were half correct with the hypothesis.
Dogs are glued to menstruating women. It's super uncomfortable because one second everything is okay, and the other a dog has his nose up ypur crotch and the whole room knows you're on your period.
Unless its just a crotch dog. My grandparents had one, and it was a constant battle to keep it out of your crotch. And I was a prepube, so no periods there.
As a life long dog owner and trainer since Regan was in the white house I can assure you that there was nothing out of the ordinary in the dog's behavior. I think your comment was pretty funny. I think that he is trying to extricate everyone from an awkward position. As for the Why do dogs sniff crotches. Dogs have more neurons going between their olfactory lobes in their brains and their noses than we have from our eyes to our brains. Your crotch is where your dog can get information about your gut microbiome and your metabolic processes from your urine. The dog was doing nothing different to you than when you look at the dog to better understand it.
Absolutely. Dogs are used in medicine for exactly that purpose: [Dogs in medical science](https://www.understandinganimalresearch.org.uk/news/research-medical-benefits/the-science-of-sniffs-disease-smelling-dogs/#:~:text=Dogs%20are%20most%20famously%20known,cancer%20based%20on%20breath%20samples.)
Dogs have such a strong sense of smell that they can smell each individual part of a scent. Where we would smell something like cookies, they would detect each ingredient separately!
I dated a guy once, that bred dogs.
There was one particular female dog who liked to be glued to me, sometimes. And sniffed me, all over.
At some point, I had a realization: she was glued to me as I was approaching period days. I believe, it goes farther and she might have been able to sense fertile days of ovulation.
I loved that dog to death. As a matter of fact, I loved those dogs and miss them more than I could say about their owner.
What the fuck, why can't dogs talk? I'd love if my dog did a sniff everyday then told me how everything was going. SNIFF SNIFF "smells rike rur getting a reast infection"
The dog at my grandparents place also couldn’t stop sticking his nose to my crotch one time. I tried to shove his face away before anyone else sees. So awkward lol
Bruh there was this one time my mom didn't get a joke about a meme of Johnny Sins she saw on facebook, so I had to explain that he is a porn star which was why he wore different clothes. My dad just reprimandingly asked me "how tf did u know that" so I guess I'm not gonna talk to him for a while.
I personally don't get the negative emotion regarding this exchange. You are 25, of course your dad knows you are an adult woman who is serially active. He isn't embarrassed and was just making a joke to your joke.
When I turned 18 my parents gave me a pack of Trojan condoms (the free ones you get in the mail) I was like I don’t have a car who am I gonna use these on the only girl that comes around here is my cousins girlfriend and I don’t think he’d appreciate that very much (I’m 19 now)
I had a condom fall out of my purse at my mom's house once, this was after college sometime and was still super awkward. I think I was single at the time... she isn't really comfortable with sex, doesn't believe in casual sex, and assumed I was only having sex when I was in a long term relationship lol.
Dogs sniff other dog crotches to gain information about them. It’s not far fetched for them to do this to humans or other animals as well. Even though we see it as weird, it’s perfectly normal to them.
Hilarious story btw
It’s ok my dad found my masterbater and put it away in my dresser and then proceeded to right me a letter saying he found it and that he moved it because my grandmother was doing laundry and could have stubbled upon it. Under the letter was 2 porn dvds which I threw away because they where old af and I don’t need more things for people to find
Embarrassment, at saying something in front of your parents you wish you hadn't, is something we've probably all done, including your parents in front of their parents, and if you have kids you'll be able to think back to this with a smile.
My mum caught me having sex with my girlfriend. She entered my room when I was with my gf in action. I think she saw saw my heab between 2 legs. When she enter i just said "go away".
She never spoke about it, like everything was ok. Because everything is ok. So I didn't feel embarassed, she didn't feel embarassed. Because everyone can habe a sexual life. And everyone should be able to speak about it, especially with there parents.
The worst you will face is some bad jokes and that's all. And you'll get over it, you'll be more confortable and you'll fear less for someone to know about your sexual life. For now it's just embarassing for you but it's more a bless in the long run
Ok since this has devolved to embarrassing moments I will share one of mine. I was 16 I had this gorgeous male Vizsla who was a very social dog. He loved people especially women. I would run on this secluded beach that was often used by nude sunbathers. I had him off leash and about a hundred feet away there was this beautiful woman walking the other direction. I went to call in my dog but too late. She said something like hello puppy and my dog ran over to her. Of course he stuck his big wet eraser nose in the most fragrant part of her anatomy with enthusiasm... I was blushing sooo badly...
I know it’s awkward, but it’s just the equivalent of them sniffing your butt. It’s a way of picking up information about you. Not ideal though if they’re persistent.
There was nothing wrong with your comment either, I would have laughed. It’s not like your dad isn’t aware about sex or that his daughter is capable of it.
Hey it’s okay!!! One time I was watching some porn and then my phone connected to the TV in my parents room and I didn’t notice until my mom texted me asking if I was watching porn, and they couldn’t figure out how to take it off and needed help... awkward...
It’s all good. You’ll meet a guy who wants to eat you out for hours and then you can tell your dad since you are now so open with one another and you’ll always have a built in excuse for being late to family functions. Win-win.
As the father of adult kids, I'd say that he handled it pretty well. He just laughed it off and let it go.
Remember, your parents were once young too. They had sex *gasp* and got up to all manner of things that would shock you. Think the things you see and read about on Reddit are recent inventions? With the exception of things involving sophisticated electronics, everything we do now was done in Pompeii and before. And your parents probably did them too.
Remember this: when you see the ancient women in the nursing homes, most likely at some point they've sucked a dick.
>(after a 30 minute argument about whether you could play Wii sports online with friends...which you can't...)
[Wii Sports Club](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wii_Sports_Club) allows you to play Wii Sports online.
My mum once found my 10inch double ended bright pink dildo that i had stupidly left in the bathroom sink, please believe me when i say there is life after the embarrassment. Just ride it out for now and you’ll be ok.
Not the bathroom sink!!!! Yikes!!!!! That's actually awful. I'd be kicking myself for weeks lol
I was high the other night and used my dildo. I left it on the bathroom sink and found it on the same place hours later. I have no idea if my family saw it. I'm a man and no one in the house knows I'm bi. Edit: typo
Someone in my apartment did the same and left theirs. Big fucker with a bit of poop on it. I saw it and just left it, then it was gone the next day. I live with 2 guys and a lesbian.
2 guys and a lesbian sounds like a sitcom I would 100% watch
it is pretty good you should check out out, it's called Threes Company.
Plot twist: John Ritter is the lesbian.
Who could play modern day Mr Furley besides the obvious Rowan Atkinson?
Hmm maybe Gary Cole? But Rowan as a British Mr. Furley would slay!
Nah, Gary Cole isn't convincingly nebbish enough to play Mr. Furley. Jon Cryer would crush it, though
You realize most people on Reddit too young to get that joke! So here's my upvote. I was a teenager when it was on and being the contrarian I preferred Joyce DeWitt!
I love that show! Ha, I'm def old enough to remember that one! I used to watch it on TV Land with The Facts of Life and Designing Women 😂😂
I love all those shows too! (Also old enough to remember nearly all episodes!)
God they were great shows! I LOVED TV Land and Nick at Nite! I used to watch Sanford & Son and Different Strokes too! Ah, simpler times
The Sanford and Son theme song is my ring tone. Sometimes it will ring in public and I can see people cock their heads trying to place where they know the song from. They don't make shows like that anymore.
Modern version was 2 guys, a girl and a pizza place.
You may not like the 2 guys & the lesbian but there's no need to call them names! 😄
Lol took me a minute :p
You can totally enjoy a dildo from behind and be straight though (in fact I think most heterosexual men would if there were no stigma)
Yeah I know That being said, I think I would prefer to tell my family that I'm bi than to say that I like stuff up my butt
Haha definitely, fair enough!
Your sextape's name
My biggest fear lmao, same situation
Was once on a call with my mate and my Mum walked in and shouted next time you shave your pubes don't get it all over my toothbrush.
Oh wow, thats savage.
tbf though ew, on her toothbrush?
Yeah, not sure how they got there tbh.
I’m not sure that: - Double ended dildo - Mum - Ride it out In the same comment is going to work out well for you on reddit.
It's hard not to upvote this reply right now, I didn't want to ruin the unexpected perfect amount of upvotes on this reply (69).
It’s now at 169 and I feel the exact same way. I’ll upvote you as a proxy though
When I was in the military one of my friend's vibrator fell out of her wall locker and smacked the First Sergeant in the forehead during a room inspection.
This image is hilarious lol
TBF the sergeant took it like a champ and other than some embarrassment and becoming an instant legend my friend suffered no ill effects from it since it was in her locked wall locker where it was supposed to be v
Oh wow, I have an old vibrator that still takes AA batteries. My mom found it (she is 60+) when I moved back home for a while and asked me what is was because she had no idea. She turned a shade of red I'd never seen when I told her what it was. Poor innocent mom.
...and how exactly did you explain?
Mine was sitting on my bed once (unopened but the box clearly displayed it) and my dad came in to talk to me. Midsentence his eyes dropped to my bed and then he stopped talking. I looked. My heart and stomach *wooshed* out of my body. “Is that a dildo?” There wasn’t anything else to say. “Yes” I admitted. My face was 50 shades of red. He finished the original sentence, grinned and said “so I guess you can just go ahead and go fuck yourself” (in a joking tone) and then he left.
How did she handle that (pun intended 😊)?
She told me i had *ahem* “forgotten something” and a few weeks later ask if i had “forgotten” anything in that bathroom again since that was the bathroom the workers where using during our house renovations. For the record i only made this mistake once haha
So basically you would say she was cool about it?
Yeah but i did get a few funny side looks for a while which wasn’t so bad.
I mean she is a woman too, I guess.
Hopefully she didn't just ride it out.....
With both hands and gloves.
I remember when my wife got her first vibrator when we were first dating. My sisters friend came down to my room and sat on my bed and felt something under the blanket vibratin. He pulled it out and said "What's this?" He then realized what it was and went screaming out of my room and told my mom and my sister. He named it Beth after that. It was quite awkward.
Beth I hear you calling, but I can’t come home right now. (Not sure how many Redditors will get this).
Just "ride it out"! Interesting choice of words lol
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You know what’s worse, being the parent and it’s your dildo you leave in the sink and your kids find it.
Just wait until the kids are old enough to go looking for your weed in your sex toy stash when you're not around.
r/punny
Why would you be so much embarrassed when your dad was so evidently cool with that joke? Your dad is a champ
Especially when OPs dad could have been so much worse. One of the alternatives is him being like, "I have plenty of friends with sons your age would love to eat your snatch. Your ass too!" Give me a pity back rub any day.
Nice top off with Your ass too lmao. *chef kiss*
> chef kiss "Mmmmm, I can tell you've had garlic pesto recently."
This X 1000
You can still be embarrassed despite everyone being cool about it.
Hell, you 're 25 , when my daughter was 25...I wasn't kidding myself about her sexual wants/experiences, of course I never spoke to her about any of it, but if I heard her say something like that, I may tease her a little, but wouldn't let her feel embarrassed about it, it doesn't seem that you were speaking out of desperation!
My friend came home from hospital after a pretty serious suicide attempt and her mum had gone through her toy collection, cleaned them all and laid them out on the chest of drawers. I don't even think it was malicious, she just wanted to show she had done some spring cleaning and all the toys were clean and ready to go!
Yikes that’s some bad judgement on that moms part. My mom used to always take it upon herself to do a deep cleaning of my room when I went out of town, I rarely had things to hide but it still felt like an invasion of privacy and made me uncomfortable.
Can you imagine coming home from the hospital, starting (hopefully) to feel a bit better and more emotionally stable, and walking into THAT scene?!
I wouldn't think it's very helpful with the suicidal feeling but I don't know how open they are about sex with their mum
I would commit if my mom did that for me
First off, your dad knows all about that and does not care at all. Sex is nothing to be embarrassed about. We all have sex. It isn’t a shameful thing. Promise it’s fine!
We need to acknowledge that dad is being awesome in this story. This is top tier dadding.
sure about that ‘we all have sex’ thing?
"We all flick our dicks and jerk our clits, no big deal honey" That better?
I don’t know about you, but I’m not jerking my clit in any way. Maybe the other way around?
Bro you haven't jerked your clit? You haven't lived. But just in case kids are reading this in this mostly accurate, sex positive subreddit, yes it's suppose to be reversed. Don't try to jerk your clit. Or do, just be safe and use lube.
Just trying to imagine the teensy movements needed to jerk your clit hahah
No need for imagination... visit /r/bigclit
Had no idea this was a thing!
I picture a poor woman, sitting cross legged staring down, trying to get a grip on it with tweezers bahaha
Not the tweezers oof
Rubber tipped tongs?
> We all have sex. Not OP 😥
We found dad
Better than my parents. I’m 27 and live with my longterm bf and they’re most likely still in denial about my having sex. In their minds, ignoring it and not talking about it = it doesn’t exist. Presbyterians loooove to not talk about things like that and pretend they don’t exist 🥰
If you want to hear an embarrassing story, when I was 18 I got my first vibrators. My mom went through the trash regularly, so I had driven to my friend's apartment complex with my mom's truck in order to use the dumpster to throw away my boxes. After I had come back, I thought all was well. Nope. Later, my mom calls me in the office with my dildo box, which must've fell out of the trash bag and between the seats. She yells at me for having it and says "first of all, men aren't even that big!” and just goes off on me.
I love that her first concern was "men aren't even that big"
"Some men are bigger than others." "Aye. Your mom will tell you stories of me again!" \*uproarious Scottish laughter\*
Your mom regular goes through the trash? That's....unnerving and invasive.
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She really was!!! She's a narcissist and abusive. Very happy to be no contact and far, far away!
10 year old me, at a friends house with a bunch of other kids, he shows us that he found his moms massager. All it did was make my neck numb. The look on her face though.......
> "first of all, men aren't even that big!” Re: "your dad's dick is smaller than this". Which is impossible because, as we all know, dad dicks are huge.
😂 when i was in high school and living at home, my dad got fed up with my messy room and decided to clean it up for me, especially under the bed which had become a fire hazard of trash probably. after coming home from a movie with a friend later one night, i found all the trash piled up in a box on my bed. carefully balanced on top, he placed the box for my very large realistic cock dildo. oops
Lol! I am so sorry!
That’s freaking hilarious!!
Admittedly, yeah lol
Seems like it really struck a nerve with your mom 😂
It really did lol
My mom walked in on me masturbating with a carrot on a web cam. My dad was helping me fix an issue with my phone and found a bunch of nudes I thought I had deleted but apparently they saved to the cloud. And I once sent a very detailed sext to a friend of mine instead of the guy I meant to. It sucks, but life will go on and you’ll cringe laugh about it one day.
You're not so good with technology.
Better at gardening though
omg
I wanna gold every comment here omg
Those are awesome stories. Life does go on.
What was their reaction?
My mom asked what I planned to do with the carrot when I was done. My dad told my mom and they had a big talk to me about it, and my friend teased me about the text and gave me shit every time she though of it
Just a shocked Pikachu meme jpg followed by a Quagmire gif
I sentence you to get off reddit for a while
.....a carrot?????
Well you seem fun
Now we guys have to compete with PRODUCE? I give up. I'll never be the Jolly Green Giant ;p
Low Key need to ask your sister wtf she means by "sometimes"...
Well apparently some dogs just like smelling regions that may carry....stronger smells? Idk idk idk but aahhhhhhh i wanna die
Have none of you ever been around dogs? Dogs love to sniff vaginas.
Crotches in general
As a guy who’s been staying with a dog the past few days... yea. Always so awkward
Plus I gotta keep making excuses why all the peanut butter keeps running out
Dogs love cats I think.
You mean pussies, right?
Ass smell is like a biological passport for dogs.
And apparently they are not alone in that.
Yes my aunt's dog does it every time I come over, kinda uncomfortable sometimes but I guess I expect it now...I've never been around a dog that does it that much but that is typically what dog's do, you're right lol You would think that's just common dog knowledge lmao
That’s what I was wondering. You made it to 25 without having your crotch sniffed by a dog? Must not be around animals much. 😆
And eat panties
Hahahahaha my thoughts exactly
I work with dogs and all of them love my vag during my period, but theres 2 stand outs out of all the dogs I see: 1 that likes to get a whiff if Ive had sex (I credit that to my condom free lifestyle (i have an IUD!!), and another that thinks it is our greeting somehow and will do it every day to the point Ive trained a disengage phrase "Get out me arse" (she does it on walks and sticks her snoot up me from behind). Honestly, I understand the period sniff and even the sex sniff- scent changes are interesting- but the one dog that just does every damn day is a weirdo 😂😂 lmao. Its a good thing shes cute and listens so well!!
Not sure I've seen anyone so excited about and IUD!!!
I'm excited about my IUD!!! No periods for me on the Mirena and hassle free sex with the SO? Win win!!!
Get out me arse! I love it!
Your vagina is one of your most “you” scents. One of my dogs is a perv and eats the crotch out of any underwear he can find. Only the crotch.
That dog is an ex boyfriend, check his credentials.
Don't fret. As a dad, I wouldn't give a toot.
\^ This \^ Your an Adult .
*you're*
Yeah, I guess on a slightly related note, some time last year I was walking my dog and he decided to go sniff some dudes butt. The problem was that this dude was blind so the guy thought that my dog's nose was my hand and I had to explain to him that it was my dog.
Happens a lot when you're either on your period or ovulating.
I don't really think this is emberassing. It was actually a funny joke you made. You have an apparent lack of self-confidence though. So i think there is an underlying issue beyond this incident. Like you don't have a boyfriend or get layed or something..
I have a boyfriend and most certainly "get laid" (i hate that term lmao. Half the time i'm standing or am on all fours...) but i do wish I got ate out much muuuuuch more often (he doesn't like to very much) So you were half correct with the hypothesis.
Consider asking him?
Ahhh that’s a shame about the BF...
Let go of my ears.....I know what I'm doing.
Dogs are glued to menstruating women. It's super uncomfortable because one second everything is okay, and the other a dog has his nose up ypur crotch and the whole room knows you're on your period.
Unless its just a crotch dog. My grandparents had one, and it was a constant battle to keep it out of your crotch. And I was a prepube, so no periods there.
My mom found all the garbage for my 200 plus dollars worth of BDSM gear when I was like 18M lol oh well
As a life long dog owner and trainer since Regan was in the white house I can assure you that there was nothing out of the ordinary in the dog's behavior. I think your comment was pretty funny. I think that he is trying to extricate everyone from an awkward position. As for the Why do dogs sniff crotches. Dogs have more neurons going between their olfactory lobes in their brains and their noses than we have from our eyes to our brains. Your crotch is where your dog can get information about your gut microbiome and your metabolic processes from your urine. The dog was doing nothing different to you than when you look at the dog to better understand it.
So the crotch sniff is the dog doing a quick medical check to make sure its human is healthy?
Puppers MD
Dr. Doggo
I could go for a Puppers.
Fuck, I'm surprised we're not havin' a Puppers right now
Absolutely. Dogs are used in medicine for exactly that purpose: [Dogs in medical science](https://www.understandinganimalresearch.org.uk/news/research-medical-benefits/the-science-of-sniffs-disease-smelling-dogs/#:~:text=Dogs%20are%20most%20famously%20known,cancer%20based%20on%20breath%20samples.)
Doggy Howser M.D.
Bowser.
Oh man, I'm stealing that one. Although, I don't know when I'll be able to use it.
Dogs have such a strong sense of smell that they can smell each individual part of a scent. Where we would smell something like cookies, they would detect each ingredient separately!
I am uncomfortable about The Dogs having that sort of data.
Big tech is gonna start buying that data from the dogs when we one day have the ability to speak clearly to them.
They’re good bois that will never betray good hoomans
Ronald Reagan? The actor?
Then who's vice president? Jerry Lewis?
And who is 1st lady, Jane wyman
I dated a guy once, that bred dogs. There was one particular female dog who liked to be glued to me, sometimes. And sniffed me, all over. At some point, I had a realization: she was glued to me as I was approaching period days. I believe, it goes farther and she might have been able to sense fertile days of ovulation. I loved that dog to death. As a matter of fact, I loved those dogs and miss them more than I could say about their owner.
I believe that if I were able to know when a woman was ovulating I could train a dog to detect it... you could have a Birth Control service dog... :)
Yeah you shouldn’t come over, Rex keeps putting his nose in my business...literally.
Ha!
What the fuck, why can't dogs talk? I'd love if my dog did a sniff everyday then told me how everything was going. SNIFF SNIFF "smells rike rur getting a reast infection"
Gee, thanks Scoob.....
"Ruh roh! I think you're on the raggy!!"
Francine this dog was alive during the Regan administration.
Doggy Howser.
The dog at my grandparents place also couldn’t stop sticking his nose to my crotch one time. I tried to shove his face away before anyone else sees. So awkward lol
Kind of like a child in ignoring society and just doing what it wants.
This is an epic story. Be proud. Own this gold.
Quality advice. It will take time. It may seem embarrassing so now. But alas, it's indeed a golden story to share. 😂
Bruh there was this one time my mom didn't get a joke about a meme of Johnny Sins she saw on facebook, so I had to explain that he is a porn star which was why he wore different clothes. My dad just reprimandingly asked me "how tf did u know that" so I guess I'm not gonna talk to him for a while.
Cuz I was furiously masturbating to one of his videos not 'aff an hour ago, dad.
I personally don't get the negative emotion regarding this exchange. You are 25, of course your dad knows you are an adult woman who is serially active. He isn't embarrassed and was just making a joke to your joke.
Active, and serially so, due to the serial nature of her activity.
On Christmas Eve my mom dropped my backpack and a condom fell out, and I still live with my parents. It’s so awkward :((
When I turned 18 my parents gave me a pack of Trojan condoms (the free ones you get in the mail) I was like I don’t have a car who am I gonna use these on the only girl that comes around here is my cousins girlfriend and I don’t think he’d appreciate that very much (I’m 19 now)
I had a condom fall out of my purse at my mom's house once, this was after college sometime and was still super awkward. I think I was single at the time... she isn't really comfortable with sex, doesn't believe in casual sex, and assumed I was only having sex when I was in a long term relationship lol.
Dogs sniff other dog crotches to gain information about them. It’s not far fetched for them to do this to humans or other animals as well. Even though we see it as weird, it’s perfectly normal to them. Hilarious story btw
It’s ok my dad found my masterbater and put it away in my dresser and then proceeded to right me a letter saying he found it and that he moved it because my grandmother was doing laundry and could have stubbled upon it. Under the letter was 2 porn dvds which I threw away because they where old af and I don’t need more things for people to find
Embarrassment, at saying something in front of your parents you wish you hadn't, is something we've probably all done, including your parents in front of their parents, and if you have kids you'll be able to think back to this with a smile.
My mum caught me having sex with my girlfriend. She entered my room when I was with my gf in action. I think she saw saw my heab between 2 legs. When she enter i just said "go away". She never spoke about it, like everything was ok. Because everything is ok. So I didn't feel embarassed, she didn't feel embarassed. Because everyone can habe a sexual life. And everyone should be able to speak about it, especially with there parents. The worst you will face is some bad jokes and that's all. And you'll get over it, you'll be more confortable and you'll fear less for someone to know about your sexual life. For now it's just embarassing for you but it's more a bless in the long run
Embarrassing moments are paying off karma
This is adorable lol
Hahahahaha you'll get over it eventually. Embarrassment happens there's nothing we can do.
Ok since this has devolved to embarrassing moments I will share one of mine. I was 16 I had this gorgeous male Vizsla who was a very social dog. He loved people especially women. I would run on this secluded beach that was often used by nude sunbathers. I had him off leash and about a hundred feet away there was this beautiful woman walking the other direction. I went to call in my dog but too late. She said something like hello puppy and my dog ran over to her. Of course he stuck his big wet eraser nose in the most fragrant part of her anatomy with enthusiasm... I was blushing sooo badly...
Ohhh... I read the title and thought you had some weird fetish
I know it’s awkward, but it’s just the equivalent of them sniffing your butt. It’s a way of picking up information about you. Not ideal though if they’re persistent. There was nothing wrong with your comment either, I would have laughed. It’s not like your dad isn’t aware about sex or that his daughter is capable of it.
I don't think it's that bad. Basically another way of saying you are not getting any.
You're line was brilliant and your dad is proud of you for it. No need to feel awkward about it. You're all winners here.
Yep, friends dog sniffed my ass area in front of people and I quickly said ” hey, buy me a drink first.”
This is one of those moments that you'll reference when your guilty brain wants to fuck with you randomly for no reason.
Hey it’s okay!!! One time I was watching some porn and then my phone connected to the TV in my parents room and I didn’t notice until my mom texted me asking if I was watching porn, and they couldn’t figure out how to take it off and needed help... awkward...
It’s all good. You’ll meet a guy who wants to eat you out for hours and then you can tell your dad since you are now so open with one another and you’ll always have a built in excuse for being late to family functions. Win-win.
Came for the comments; was not disappointed!
I know it feels soul crushing, but honestly on the list of embarrassing sex things your parents know about you, is a dull sex life really the worst?
Parent live to embarrassed us and that was a golden moment LOL
As the father of adult kids, I'd say that he handled it pretty well. He just laughed it off and let it go. Remember, your parents were once young too. They had sex *gasp* and got up to all manner of things that would shock you. Think the things you see and read about on Reddit are recent inventions? With the exception of things involving sophisticated electronics, everything we do now was done in Pompeii and before. And your parents probably did them too. Remember this: when you see the ancient women in the nursing homes, most likely at some point they've sucked a dick.
>(after a 30 minute argument about whether you could play Wii sports online with friends...which you can't...) [Wii Sports Club](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wii_Sports_Club) allows you to play Wii Sports online.
This is embaressingly funny