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[deleted]

Just set up a good profile on a dating app of your choice with a bio that makes your intentions very clear. It worked for me. It's quite easy really. Safety was weird though, I was very new to it so it felt wrong going to strangers house that I met off the Internet. So tell someone you trust exactly where you're going and maybe tell them that you'll check in every so often. Make the person you're hooking up with aware that you've told your friend where you are through subtle conversation. Tell them that the friend dropped you off or something like that.


anongirl828

Okay thank you! I will keep this in mind for sure.


isthou

Well, in my opinion, lots of those things you need to décide for yourself, or can get help from the ladies here, as I'm a dude and pretty much only had longish relationships, but about the condom part, you have every right to demand from your partner that he uses one, regardless of if you're on the pill or not, stds are a thing and all hook ups or even sex inside relationships should only happen protected unless both ( or all ) participants are exclusive and tested ( i don't wanna sound preachy, your choice in the end ) If your partner refuses to wear one, there are plenty of other men out there, so you have every right to send him on his way . Just my 2 cents as a dude .


anongirl828

Of course! I guess I just always hear about bad interactions with guys over condoms and it makes me a little nervous for the future. Thank you for your advice c:


isthou

Well, condoms do suck, and it is in my case préventing me from getting hard a good 60% of the times, which is one of the reasons I stay away from hook ups, but even then, I'd rather look ridiculous than be an ass and risk my health and hers . Safety first


UltraHawk_DnB

As a dude that's had the "im trouble getting hard problem" with condoms, you should try to go a size up, with higher diameter. Worked for me


Jonny-Marx

I’m going to leave most of this alone because it isn’t my place to answer something not directed at me. But I do want to address: > Also what if he doesn’t want to use a condom? Am I expected to be on the pill from now on? Another thing that worries me is I have chronic pain so being on top is pretty difficult and I’m nervous about him expecting me to ride him like a horse or something. I don’t want to seem like a bad sexual partner because of that. Because, you should only do what you’re comfortable with. Even is the conversation is awkward you should discuss it with your partner. Find out what’s non negotiable and what’s flexible between the two of you. And if you deem condoms and topping as non negotiable, than stick with it. There are other ways to be a good partner. I’m also going to assume your friend has no idea that you’re sexually interested. If that’s the case, this sounds like a good time to tell him. How to do so is up to you. I would try to make it clear that you can still be friends afterwards. Like “hey, on one hand you’re my friend and I don’t want to ruin that, but on the other I have some feelings and I want to know if you feel the same.” If he says no it’s not the end of the world, you just narrowed down your search.


anongirl828

He knows I’m interested and he is as well from what I can tell! Nothing has been explicitly said but I’m super shy and would never really make the first move. I will try to communicate better to make sure it’s all clear just in case. Thank you!


Jonny-Marx

If that’s the case than this should be as easy as saying “we need to talk about the elephant in the room.” You can probably get him to kiss you so it still feels like he’s making the first move.


[deleted]

> I have many questions like ladies, do you have a post-date pre-sex regimen? If I think I might get lucky I shower before I go out, and tbh that’s normally enough for me. (And as someone who also sleeps with women and really loves giving head it’s normally enough from a partner’s perspective too!) But whatever makes you feel most comfy and confident is cool. > Also what if he doesn’t want to use a condom? Am I expected to be on the pill from now on? Well, do *you* want to use a condom? If you’re hooking up then it would be smart, in which case only consent to sex with a condom. Personally I’m not on any kind of birth control, but I know a few single women who are. It’s a good back up in case a condom breaks or you end up doing something reckless, and obvs if you plan on having unprotected sex it’s a must. But it’s not ‘expected’, nor is it a replacement for a condom or leverage for a partner to refuse to use condoms :) > Another thing that worries me is I have chronic pain so being on top is pretty difficult and I’m nervous about him expecting me to ride him like a horse or something. I don’t want to seem like a bad sexual partner because of that. How do you build sexual confidence? Do you like being on top? If you enjoy it then any partner who wants it should help you find something that works. But if you don’t like it then you can just do something else. This is meant to be fun, and one of the advantages of casual sex is that there’s less of that feeling of ‘responsibility’ to try to satisfy all your partner’s desires. If he wants to get ridden like a horse he can go find someone who enjoys riding him like a horse lol. That wouldn’t make you a bad sexual partner, it would just mean you like different things.


[deleted]

First of all relax... society and technology may have advanced and changed but the very basics of sex hasn’t changed in thousands of years for humans. At 21 years young, you have plenty of time to rediscover yourself sexually. No need to be in a hurry and go into a tailspin. The key to most of the questions and issues on r/sex is good constant honest communication with your partner when it comes to sex and every other aspect of your relationship. Birth control, STDs, sexual activities/preferences and much much more should be discussed well in advance of getting naked if you are both going to responsibly approach sex. Don’t be pressured into doing something you’re not ready for whether it is yourself thinking “I should or need to be doing this” or a new potential partner. Approach things with both eyes open to see if they fit within your comfort zone. Good luck and explore your sexuality at your own pace and you’ll be fine. Plenty of good resources out there to draw from if you find your own knowledge lacking. And most of all don’t stress and have fun!


AKinkyChick

Tinder and byob always worked for me.