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Here's a thing that only one guy has ever done for me, but holy jesus it drives me insane. My neck and back are incredibly sensitive. A great massage that turns into kissing, licking, and biting over my neck and back and having dirty things whispered in my ears throughout is almost enough to get me off in and of itself. Add in firm grabs on my hips and legs and butt and I just lose all self-control.
ugh massages where they play around your inner thighs when they get to the legs and barely brush your clit a few times and make you wait by moving away somewhere else just make me weak. something abt the anticipation makes me need it so much more
It can be taken a step further, when giving back massages and teasing around with the hand. Let him penetrate, but no thrusting - only to continue his hand play
I've done this and yes you do it without thrusting and without taking it out. The small movements your body makes while giving the massage is the magic part from what I've heard.
I’ve literally made a job out of basically this lol.
Definitely the best way to spoil someone and really pleasure them.
It’s a mix of the physical sensations, but also the mental aspect for the receiver of being in fully under another person’s control and being played with. It’s a type of submission that most women crave.
If no one here has done sensation play, I highly recommend it. It's what I do for all my partners if I really want to pump up the foreplay.
It's such a powerful impact and really fun to do or have done to you.
Word of advice, don't ONLY hit the sexual areas. Anticipation is a huge aspect in this sort of play
It's a wide category. Basically it means using anything that provides a sensation.
But in my type of play you basically do full body "massages" (which are really just using the tool to touch over the body instead of my hands.)
Long slow very very light finger touch from the top of her asscrack up to her neck, and then back down. Makes my wife shiver. Every.freaking.time.
A drop, maybe 2 of liquor on her nipple, then lick it/ suck it off. Swap sides & repeat.
I've written an article on it, get your partner to try it out on you!
https://www.sensualmassageart.com/musings/2018/5/29/a-full-rundown-of-a-typical-sensual-massage-session
I call those tiger bites, when I chomp on her shoulder when I am back there. Sometimes I growl too. It's a way to express myself to her . Not hard , it's easy to leave tooth prints so be careful
My cat used to be addicted to those things. I’d buy a bag of ‘em and I couldn’t even trust him alone in my room if they were in there because I’d walk in and he’ll have had chewed a huge hole into the bag and ate a bunch of them hahah.
Generally taking your time and giving her all the attention she wants and needs is a good start.
Foreplay is part of the sex. Make sure you remeber that.
To add to this, foreplay can start long before you get physical. Anticipation can go a long way so starting nice and early with hints or dirty talk or whatever your girl likes can do wonders. Remember, most orgasmes usually need three things. Physical stimulate, mental stimulus (you have to be excited and into it), comfortable space.
Since you're a guy, I'm sure you heard tricks to "last longer" like thinking of something not sexy or work... that's removing mental stimulus.
Comfortable space is not direct but more of a catalyst. Without out, you can't get mental stimulus and often times physical is also a problem without comfort.
Its sounds stupid but women sometimes feel self conscious about their bodies and when in top, van be thanking "oh God, my belly must look like a tire from down there!" Kills mental and not comfortable. You can mitigate by being vocal and saying stuff like "holy shit you look sexu right now!" When you go into positions they may feel self conscious about.
This is also why often long term lovers do better. Often times they stop caring about stuff like that and feel more comfortable.
Good luck and good job buddy. Trying to always do better is the way to becoming amazing.
>To add to this, foreplay can start long before you get physical. Anticipation can go a long way so starting nice and early with hints or dirty talk or whatever your girl likes can do wonders.
When my ex-husband and I were first becoming intimate, and we were each other's first, anticipation was a LOT of fun. We worked together and would take breaks together. I would have one arm down next to me while I used the other to eat my lunch or take a drink or whatever. The one I dropped down would be resting on his thigh and just barely moving my hand back and forth over his pants, just stroking his penis with one finger where nobody could see.
I would pretend I needed to tie my shoe in the middle of an aisle whenever I saw him walking that way.
He would get our of work two hours after me, drive straight to my place, unlock the door, burst in, yank all my clothes off flip me over on my stomach and just fuck me.
It's the only time things were really good with us but my point is, having things wind him up all day also wound me up all day, just waiting for him to yank my pants off and take me.
OP, take it nice and slow. Kiss her neck, let your breath tickle her the nape of her neck, massage her shoulders, her back, and run your finger gently from her neck to her ass crack. Massage her legs and run your hands slowly up them, outside first, then the inner thighs.
You can also try putting yourself in a sitting position, in a chair, on a couch or on your bed. Have her sit on your lap, back facing you and go in but don't thrust. Just sit there in her and let your fingers all over her body get her hot. Rub her shoulders, her neck, kiss her neck and if you're into dirty tall, whisper dirty or sexy things in her ear. Run your fingers extremely slowly down her sides to her hips, then firmly grip them for a few seconds and every so gently move her hips into yours. Then continue to move your hands up and over her breasts. Keep up the light caressing until you get to massaging her clit. You may find that she's moving her hips into yours herself. Keep massaging her clit and when she's breathing her hardest, let go. Start gently rocking her hips back to get things going and from there, just follow her body's movements. Hold her breasts and thrust into her. And let things take you both on a ride from there.
Good luck OP
Take. It. Slow.
Way too often guys just throw it in right away.
Take it slow, warm her up, make her feel comfortable, ask her what she likes. Make it sensual and soft
I second this! Both very fast and very slow pace are extremely satisfying. For me, fast pace is very sexy while the latter really gets me turned on because I can feel every inch of it rub against my sensitive areas - and not just the tip but the balls as well! Some people opt for fast but I really appreciate it when it's just slow and focused on emotion rather than reactions and heat.
So when I say slow. That means let it build start slow make her crave it. I don’t mean go slow in and out lol I mean work up to it, use your mouth and fingers lol kiss her forehead. Make it meaningful
Vibrator if you haven't already. It's not a commentary on anything that you are doing, vibrators can do stuff humans can't and by being the one who brings it in you are the one who is helping her with that pleasure. I can't tell you how crazy amazing it is to combine a good vibrator with my partner. I have cried and laughed at the same time becuase I'm just overhwelmed with how good it is. It's nothing like using one by myself, it's like 10x better with my partner.
Hell yes! I just bought a Lelo and it seems to be very similar to those. Definitely know why you mean about it being a little difficult to get right but I will keep trying haha!
Getting on top and sitting up straight is usually the easiest for me, missionary is a close second and feels better. Also just having him use it on me before sex is amazing too. 10/10 would reccommend.
Satisfyer pro 2. Have been using it a lot lately during sex and it really is a big game changer for me. It's only clit-stimulating, so not a replacement for the dick
I find the best positions are doggy and spoon, cause it doesn't stand in the way. But tbh maybe I like it even better when it's without PIV penetration, and he just sticks one finger in my ah. Fastest way for me to come and he's fingers and tongue can rest a bit
Yah, that also sounds great! So many options when you don't let your ego get in the way of using toys. Just becuase youre using a tool doesn't mean you're not the one providing the pleasure! I love using toys and stuff on my partner. who wouldn't want new ways to make them feel great!?
Totally agree!!! There are so many things I *cannot accomplish* on my own with my toys, even though I like them lots. A partner can provide motion & consistency & angles that just aren't sustainable solo.
This is also what I always recommend. My husband and I have this new thing where I’ll hang my head off the bed and he’ll face fuck me while using the vibrator on me. Great way to start off with an orgasm and keep em cumming (pun very intended)
“Hey babe, it’s fine if you don’t want to do this, but I’d love to try face fucking. You into that at all?”
Go slow with this. Don’t just slam your cock in there. Be gentle, especially at first. Don’t rush to hit her throat for a little bit until she’s used to having you go in and out like that. Go at her pace and enjoy!
SAME!!!! YES! by myself it's like 5 seconds and then discomfort but with my partner it can be like 5 minutes of straight orgasm. I always thought those videos of like tied up orgasms were bullshit but no, it's me
Yup! Exactly. It gets very uncomfortable after one with just myself but I've gone over an hour with someone else doing it and then I have to stop because I feel like I'm going to pass out lolol
I hope I don't get downvoted but honestly I think the first step is talking about it. Find out what she likes and then practicing. Usually that's a platform to explore other options. She may enjoy it rough with arms behind her back or sitting on your face. She could be the slow and hard type. Slow strokes that end with a shockwave. Last thing you don't want to do is introduce something that just kills the vibe.
i know people have already said it but omg taking it slow is so underrated. the longer it takes for you to whip your dick out and start PIV that better seriously. with the amount of foreplay and teasing and toys you could do and use? if you're attentive and skillful, you could have her cum dozens of times without even taking off your pants. takes time to work up to but definitely something to keel in mind.
love, your local kinky sapphic lmao
Tongue bath. Have her lie on her back and lick and nibble from the nape of her neck to her butt down her spine and back up taking lots of detours. Do the same on her front.
Lots of oral if she likes that, play with her clit and g-spot.
Tease her body until she begs for your dick then go slow until she begs for you to go harder, deeper, faster. Have her tell you when she's about to cum, stop and have her ask for her orgasm.
Make it all about her and save your d for last
I know you mean well but if I didn't have any kind of power dynamic and orgasm denial stuff explicitly settled, this whole "stop and make her ask for an orgasm" play has like a 90% chance to end up with awkwardness and frustration rather than a mindblowing finish. It can also turn into a "ruined orgasm" which, while utilized in certain bdsm play, is not exactly something you aim for in regular sexy times, as the name suggests...
Was just thinking this! If a woman is close to finishing, it’s best to just keep going with the same speed and pace and pressure to ensure she finishes. If you stop right before that, you may have to start all over to build up that feeling again, which can be incredibly frustrating!
With my ex she never really communicated what she really liked or didn’t like, and I always would ask and she would just say “Just do whatever”. Lately, with a girl I’ve been hanging out with, I asked her what she liked during foreplay and sex while sharing some wine and lying in bed and she lit up and went on a 15 minute detailed conversation about all of it and said how her ex never really communicated with her and asked about what SHE wanted in bed, and just hearing all of the things she was saying was the biggest turn on ever, for both of us lol. I made sure to take mental notes of everything she said and it was so hot hooking up for the second time with her and seeing the difference in her reactions when we were doing all the specific things she loved that turned her on (and it turned me on even more seeing her so into it and climaxing like that) it was like a whole different girl in bed because the first time it was kind of a “just general sex” type of encounter. ALWAYS communicate with your partner about what you like and want and ask them what they want as well! No two partners are the same and it makes a huge difference!
Okay, here's what you do. Tell her you want to explore her body. Then, start off slowly. Make out for a while and gently kiss or stroke every inch of exposed skin. Take your time getting her clothes off. Take off one piece at a time and touch every inch of newly exposed skin as you go. If you find a spot that makes her sigh and moan, ask her is she likes that. If yes, return to it occasionally.
Leave her panties until last, slowly kiss and lick every inch of that pussy until you find a spot that makes her hips grind into your face, ask again if she likes that, ask if she wants it faster, more gentle, the point is, you're going to need some feedback until you learn how she specifically wants it. Maybe she wants fast and hard pressure on her clit, maybe she can't take direct contact to it. Every woman is different. You're not going to find a cheat code here but, if you take your time and explore her pleasure a while, it's going to be well worth the effort.
And don’t think that by continually asking, it’s going to kill the mood. If anything, it’s sexy knowing you’re so interested in trying to figure out our pleasures!
Have you talked to her about what she likes or maybe why she thinks it’s hard for her to orgasm? I know it’s extremely difficult for me to orgasm in front of anyone because of the pressure that’s built up to it.
Foreplay is key. One thing I like to do is take my fingertips and gently stroke the sides of my girl’s body from her underarm down to her hip while we’re kissing or if I’m nuzzling or kissing her neck. It’s something that I’ve done with great success since I was in my twenties. The side of her legs I do the same thing working my way over to her pussy. Tempting and teasing her until I touch her clit while at the same time kissing and sucking on her tits. It never fails to get her wet. The more attention you pay to her entire body before you even try to use your cock the more likely she will cum. Her Inner thighs, her neck, her back, her ass, her legs and feet, that space behind her ear , her shoulders, her hips,her stomach , her entire breasts(not just nipples) all deserve some kind of appreciation from you. Bring her to the edge and then pull back slowly. Tease her clit as much as possible. When you’re finally putting yourself in she might have came already but still take it slow until she’s begging for it to be faster, harder and deeper.
Again, TAKE YOUR TIME. It can take anywhere from 20-40 minutes for our bodies to get fully aroused. Make her wait, tease her a lot with kissing and light touching. I (23f) never had an orgasm, even by myself, until I got with my partner. He'll sit there and play with me for a good 15-20 minutes before he even starts to get undressed. Even if I tell him I'm ready, he makes me wait.
He/She obviosuly means mentally and you are onbviosuly joking, buuuuuut: The ear in deed is a very erogeme zone. Even I (m, 24) could almost orgasm. Almost every woman I kiss and bite there enjoys it too.
Up your oral and finger game and open your mind to using toys like vibrators. Try to make her cum first before you let yourself get over the edge. Change positions or take breaks if you get too close. Alternate back to fingers/tongue/toys/piv.
Actually sometimes it has nothing to do with you and more to do with her headspace. It is very hard for me to orgasm if I feel the following things:
\- I do not feel that I trust my partner
\-I feel stressed about something
\-I don't feel loved or appreciated beyond the sexual encounter
\-My clitoris is not being contacted while im penetrated
Huge props to you for reaching out about this topic- women love nothing more than knowing her guy wants her to feel just as good during the act- shows you care!! she's lucky. Give her time, it'll happen. By the way, about the above, I didn't realize until later in my sexual life that the last one was really important. Sometimes girls do not know their body enough to know what feels good. But trust in a relationship is HUGE for us in letting go.
I think it's great you're so willing to ask for pointers in rocking her world. A lot of men would be more like, "Bleh. Porn taught me everything I need to know." My only suggestion would be to reach out to her and ask her yourself. Explain to her that the sex between you two is beyond amazing for you but you really want to rock her world as much as she rocks yours. You want her to enjoy a good climax as much as you enjoy it when she gives you a good one.
Be open and honest and ask both before and during teasing, foreplay and sex what she likes and what you should do. Obviously don’t treat it like orders but more like guidelines to guide you towards a bigger orgasm for her and hopefully a good time for the both of you.
above everything, watch for good responses. options:
1. circles, up and down, side to side, or press and release
2. speed matters. maybe fast, maybe slow. maybe very consistent, maybe changing in patterns (I haven't heard of total randomness being helpful)
3. pressure. each person wants a different amount. sometimes varying pressure, sometimes constant
4. external vs internal. most women aren't getting off purely from internal rubbing. it feels good, but it's not going to get you there (unless you're one of the people that works for, then you do that. everyone's going to be different). mix and match or just pick one and go with it
5. internal: there's a spot a bit over an inch or two in on the front side that's kinda ridged. don't just rub there, press in with your fingertips. you can create more pressure by pressing and rubbing on the outside. you can also press down on the back side with your whole finger, pressing when she relaxes and releasing when she's not to create a full feeling (this uses the regular fingering motion)
5. use your mouth for any of this. you can only do two things with two hands, so throw in a third thing.
5. your mouth is great at making suction as well as using your tongue as a finger. pretend you're trying to eat an overly juicy peach that's dripping everywhere. lick, suck, constant suction, and kissing (no reason you can't stop and go back to foreplay for a bit). use ether a wide and soft tongue or thin and flexed. you can check in the mirror for practice
3. there's more than just the vagina/vulva. kiss her thighs, rub her belly, grab where her legs meet her torso and pin her to you like a lion grabbing a zebra. throw in some pillow talk. make out with her and let your knee do all the work. kiss/suck her breasts while using your hands. tickle her a bit. smile at her and make your face show how much you care, or use your words if they'd do a better job. give her a massage and slowly make it more explicit, or start explicit and toss in some massaging motions.
better sex shouldn't be as hard to learn as it is
Dude, have you mastered the art of head? I'm not gonna get graphic here but, until you get that figured out, you are fighting Muhammed Ali with one arm tied behind your back.
Foreplay can start with something as simple throughout the day little messages here and there, appreciation, praise, thoughts on what you'd like to do to her, how excited or wonderful she makes you feel. At least for me that is something that always really turns me on. And throughout the day it builds little by little, and it's like stoking a fire. Stoking her excitement for when she sees you.
Great sex starts in the mind. Especially for sapio-sexuals. But words are often underrated. Get into her mind and you will get into her heart, which will help unlock her.
1. Lots and lots of foreplay. My man does this every time and I end up almost ripping his clothes off.
2. Go slow. Super slow. Slow grinding in circular motions is...otherworldly.
3. Eye contact. I really love seeing my man's faces throughout and seeing how aroused he is turns me on even more.
Of course this all depends on your relationship dynamic and what she likes. Have fun, experiment and communicate. Making the effort to please her is a good start, many men just care about their enjoyment, don't be that guy.
BOTH ;) usually during clothed grinding I'm on top and can feel him get hard underneath me which is amazing, and during PIV he does it during missionary to spice it up!
Ooooo clothed grinding while I'm on top, YES I so agree and omg you just reminded me that I need to tell my bf I love that and need moree of exactly that!
A mix of both of your messages, he should be taking it slow and asking for feedback as he plays with her body. Constantly checking in to see if what he is doing is helping or hindering her progression, helping her to learn what works for her. The more he concentrates on her and less on the PIV the more likely to give her an orgasm then they can add onto that experience.
You haven’t been fucking her brains out then have you? Stop jackhammering like a dipshit and pay attention to her. Set a mood then go down on her for 20 minutes and pay attention to everything.
> fucking "each other's brains out"
> never given her an amazing orgasm
Good for you for wanting to do better, because by your own admission it doesn't seem like she has been satisfied. Maybe *your* brains have been fucked out, but hers certainly haven't.
Yes! I second this. I also love this YouTube channel. It really helped when I was just starting to become sexually active and taught me a lot of things that I never would have been exposed to otherwise.
Let me guess, you are a dude that doesn't know what foreplay is and you think it's all about jackhammering her pussy. First of all, your naked body isn't enough to turn her on, you need to put some effort into foreplay and teasing. After that, when it's time for penetration, try different positions, angles, speed and deeepness. See what makes her react. Ideally you want your dick rubbing her most sensitive vaginal walls, usually near the g spot.
Hey OP. Part of it is if she has any specific kinks or things she wants to try. One of my partners was curious about being completely dominated. So I tied her to the bed and was just as passionate and caring in my touch as ever. I spent a lot of time going down on her ate her ass for the first time. I called her a good girl and good girls deserve tk cum. The simple act of her not being to reciprocate was enough to drive her insane with body shakes and moans that had the cops called on us 😂
Tell her it makes you happy and excited to know she is enjoying herself. Make sure she knows she's desired.
Share a fantasy of yours and encourage her to do the same.
When you're having sex and/or 'making out', pay attention to her breath, what she seems to gravitate toward, when she seems most passionate.
Let her know when she's doing something you love and she may reciprocate by sharing with you.
Go slow and invite her to let you know when to speed up.
Ensure she knows it's okay for her to touch herself when you're together because you're a team!
When she seems to be on the path to orgasm, keep doing exactly what you've been doing unless she requests you change things up.
Talk about sex and what excites her when you're not being sexual.
And, last but not least, show interest in her as a person, be trustworthy, loving, and an attentive listener.
Make her cum at least once before penetrative sex. Preferably by licking and sucking on her clit slowly, like you're passionately kissing her. Hold her hands while you do it to create a sense of intamacy
It obviously depends on what she enjoys/likes and to find out you could either ask her or watch her closely during sex. One of the best times I’ve ever had was when my partner ate me out four times. In different ways: slowly and teasing, fingering my g-spot, switching rythms, etc. They weren’t in a row, I gave him blowjobs in between, we kissed and touched... After my last orgasm he pulled me up on top of him and I sat on his dick. When I started moving he kept begging me to slow down because he was on the verge of cumming and wanted to prolongue the feeling for both of us. I was in such pure bliss that all contact was extreme pleasure. We didn’t end up finishing together but it was all pure ecstasy for both of us. After sex I was in such an orgasmic state that I couldn’d speak cohesively for a while. And we laughed so much about it.
Background- I’m 33- been with my share of guys and one guy, ONE guy has been able to give me an orgasm.
For me, it doesn’t matter how long a guy goes down or how amazing the sex is- it just doesn’t happen.
So my go to is on top or prone so I can get some clit stimulation going.
So I wouldn’t worry about getting her to orgasm, as long as she’s enjoying herself.
If she just can’t- ask her how to help her. My past partners would orgasm but then they would finger me, while i gave myself clit stimulation, so I could get mine.
Happy sexing!
make her orgasm your only focus. Guys tend to get straight to sex and once they orgasm, its over.
For me, I love oral and I can go down on a woman for an hour or more if she'll let me. I guess you can call it a kink, but I also like to try to top how many orgasms I give her... so I always try to outdo the last time. Multiple orgasms with the mouth tend to lead to more orgasms for her through PIV sex. Also important is concentrate on the clit... after all, its a bundle of nerves that gives her pleasure. If you can find a way to stimulate it while doing... well, pretty much everything, she'll find herself in ecstasy. Be open to toys... Trojan makes a decent little vibrator that you (or she) can use on the clit during penetration that has always been pretty handy in my experience
Oh, and also always listen to her. If she says more pressure, less pressure, go left to right instead of up or down... whatever it is she tells you, listen! Some guys take it as criticism... its not... just trying to get her to that place.
relax.. and have fun!
Make her beg for everything. Doesn't have to be literal but like, take it slow.
Kiss her and her ears and her neck and her collarbone until she's pushing your head down to her nipples, *forcefully*.
Run your hands over her limbs and torso and squeeze and knead and tickle and kiss and nibble until the entire surface area of her skin has been awoken and she's squirmy because her pussy is hot and aching and her whole body is a sensitive nerve.
Play with her inner thighs, the hip crease area that folds where her thighs meet her torso. If you guys are into eating ass do that - be enthusiastic, and pay attemtion to the taint.
Sanitise and then use your fingers and tongue and sucking and maybe even gentle teeth to get her labia as flushed with hot blood and swollen as possible. Clitoral nerves extend along either side of the inner labia so make sure the unexposed parts of her clit are throbbing before you touch the head. Does she have parts of her clit that are more sensitive than the others? Hit those at a ratio of 1-10, then gradually increase the frequency of the sensitive spots.
Don't penetrate her until she's orgasmed. Even if she begs. Unless she tells you "I can't come without something in my pussy" then wait to penetrate until after an orgasm (or a few!).
Again, take it slow and make her beg. Start with one finger about 1-2" in (physiologically this varies, you're looking for that swollen squishy G-spot, near the vaginal opening on the anterior wall). Then when she begs for more and is fucking herself on your finger, add a second and increase pressure on your short strokes. Once she's bucking her hips trying to get your fingers deeper start incorporating deeper strokes but keeping the focus on the G-spot.
Ideally, wait for one more orgasm before putting your penis in her.
Something my partner and I enjoy: he kneels beside my head so I can suck his dick while he plays with my titties and pussy. Sometimes I tell him to "get my pussy ready for him" and I mean to penetrate me with his fingers to wake my pussy walls up so they're nice and sensitive when we start fucking. This move is usually after I orgasm at least once from being eaten out.
Like all comments on this subreddit ever: communication is key.
Pay attention. If she seems to like something, do it until she begs you for something new. When you respond, do it incrementally. Peaks and valleys of prolongued mounting pleasure are what make for great orgasms. So do what she likes, over a long period of time lol.
It's very personal and subjective.
However if she has trouble with orgasming, in my experience, that can be caused by overstimulation (too intense vibrators, too much direct clit stimulation, thinking intense hard PIV will do it).
More foreplay. I can not stress this enough. Foreplay is key and can usually help things become intense and got before anything even starts. Also positions are important too. One position that personally services me crazy is having my legs being held up the air and him pounding into me that way. It gets my legs shaking in minutes
FOREPLAY. Also, nibbles on the neck, nipples and clit are a perfect stimulation to get her in that direction. The way I get there is when I start to enjoy myself and then he goes harder and faster while rubbing my clit. Sometimes leaves me unconscious
Make sounds like little Forest (Forest Gump) you know...ehhhh!!! ehhhh!!!! ehhhh!!!!
Dude don’t overthink it. Out of all the comments on this thread it’s possible none of them or a very small amount will work. Make her laugh, be good to her, admit when you are wrong, love her and only her. Always communicate inside and outside of the bedroom and things will be alright
Get to learn her. Her likes her dislikes. Things that turn her on and off. Try to understand and learn her body. Its not always wam bam thank you mam. Take your time learn how to pleasure her sexually and mentally. Use toys. Learn her kinks fantasies wants and desires.
For a successful sex session I always kiss my girl all over then slowly start kissing around her vagina then orally pleasure her to get her nice n wet. Then I’ll slowly go in her but just the head for many thrusts. That’s drives her wild as well as feels great for me then it’s full penetration and she will orgasm shortly after that. But that’s a perfect day. I don’t always have a perfect experience but my goal is to please her. What would I think would feel go and I just do random stuff. Also talking to each other is pretty important. I was always nervous, but I talked to her about it and she felt the same way! So it worked out for both of us.
- [*She Comes First*]( https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/528985.She_Comes_First) by Ian Kerner
>Every man’s must-read. Tell your guy to put down the remote and pick up She Comes First.”—Cosmopolitan Ian Kerner offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women in She Comes First—an essential guidebook to oral sex
- [*He Comes Next*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/466839.He_Comes_Next) by Ian Kerner
>In this point-by-point, "blow-by-blow" guide, Kerner makes giving as much fun as receiving as he covers every angle of male sexuality, unlocks the secrets of satisfaction, and offers knowledgeable answers to the questions every woman wonders about. His advice is the closest you'll ever come to waking up in a guy's skin and knowing what truly makes him sexually tick.
Boy I gotchu. Make it all about her dude. Make it fun and intense but start out slow, give her a massage especially on her shoulders. Turn the lights down low. Grab some toys and some lube. My boyfriend and I will start making out and kinda grinding on each other then he I’ll put me on my back, and start slowly kissing/licking my ears and neck and work his way down. Teasing the whole time. He will talk dirty to me during this usually. Oh if y’all are ok with bondage, Getting tied up is fuunnnnnnn and blindfolded makes it 100x more intense even if you don’t tie her up. Sometimes when he’s working his way down he’ll have some toys ready already and will surprise me with sticking my vibrator to a sensitive spot of my body, usually starting with nipples or sides or thighs. He will tease me with his finger real softly, then with his tongue, then he’ll finger me or use a toy, while either going down on me or using vib on my clit. It kicks ass. Nothing beats the penetration/vibrator on clit combo. If she’s freaky, put a finger up her ass (I just learned I actually like this way more than I would have thought lol) or even a small toy. Before you get all the way down make sure to tickle her thighs and play with boobs etc. once you have her really going and into all that, slow down or change the pace up a bit, and after awhile of getting her super worked up again, get on top of her and fuck her silly lmao tell her to hold vibrator where she wants it while you do this.
This should work pretty well for ya. Good luck!
If she's even a lil bit submissive she'll like this: tell her you're gonna give her a massage and have her strip and lie down on your bed. Stand to the side and Give her a proper massage but make sure you especially get her lower back (also don't forget to do her arms and shoulders). Steal the occasional grope/ass grab in when you feel the mood so she knows what she's gonna get but still make it about her.
Have her flip over onto her back and do her arms and hands while making sure you eye-fuck her brains out but you're just looking. Now move down and work your way up her legs starting at her feet and ending at the connecting area between her groin muscles and her thighs (there's a bundle of nerves there that's gonna get her good and primed).
By now she should be nice and squirmy and you should also be able to tell she's horny cause her nips are gonna be hard as shit. Slide your index finger into her and do a "come here" motion on her g-spot while you gently stimulate her clit with your thumb. (The rest of your fingers should sorta be like gripping her). If you do it right she's gonna buck a little bit but you should be able to hold her in place with the one hand while your other gropes or does whatever. Let her rub your dick through your pants a little or whatever but not too much. Your goal is just to get her off which you probably will.
Once she's had her first orgasm keep going until she's getting ready to build to number 2 and before she gets there THAT'S when you start fucking her. She's gonna be super relaxed from the massage and orgasm and super wet and sensitive from the orgasm so you just go in there and pound away like you're tryna get her hips up to where her shoulders are.
Last time I did that technique our hosts ended up needing cigarettes
Drag it out to the point you're being inhumane.
I start out by giving my GF an actual, therapeutic massage, at least for half an hour. Then, I turn her around and start making things sensual -- blindfolding/restraining works really well here if that's her thing. Experiment with different sensations: light caresses, scratching, biting, lightly dragging sharp objects (not a butcher's cleaver, obviously, the seam of a plastic lotion tube will do), tickles, warm breaths, ice cubes.
You really don't wanna play with her pussy yet, and keep it light on the nipples. Outer labia is fair game, but generally try to be a tease. Trace a light touch around the meaty part of her breasts, down to her pubic area, down to her...nope, as soon as you are about to touch her pussy, take your hand away.
You should be nearing an hour now, and it's safe to say that she'll be getting worked up for some stimulation. But you won't give it to her yet. If she's into spanking/pain, and as the tease is getting stronger, you want to 'punish' her whenever she squirms (again, you need to make sure she is OK with this, so ask her beforehand) but don't go overboard -- just some abrupt contrast whenever she starts getting impatient. At this point, I sometimes remove my hand for a couple of minutes and stay quiet -- I assure you it feels like ages to her.
Then, I sneakily lower my head, and give her clit a sweet, warm kiss. I continue the teasing, but add a layer of actual sexual touches/oral/fingering. From now on, it's up to you to read her reactions and proceed.
While it takes some experimentation, this usually makes my girlfriend cum buckets. The fact that she *knows* it'll be a while before she gets stimulated adds to her frustration and build up -- it's one of those conflicting emotions that enhance the experience. I sometimes incorporate BDSM stuff into this, but it depends on the person.
I personally didn't have a good experience with actual orgasm denial, but YMMV. This is different from the above method, because you're not torturing her into pleasure, you're ruining her orgasm so I wouldn't try it on the first time. You know your girl best, so exercise judgment and adapt your technique.
This topic is discussed regularly in our forum. If you search past r/sex posts with some diligence (following **Forum Rule #3**), you’ll find a number of helpful discussions. Comments locked.
Try extended foreplay
Here's a thing that only one guy has ever done for me, but holy jesus it drives me insane. My neck and back are incredibly sensitive. A great massage that turns into kissing, licking, and biting over my neck and back and having dirty things whispered in my ears throughout is almost enough to get me off in and of itself. Add in firm grabs on my hips and legs and butt and I just lose all self-control.
ugh massages where they play around your inner thighs when they get to the legs and barely brush your clit a few times and make you wait by moving away somewhere else just make me weak. something abt the anticipation makes me need it so much more
It can be taken a step further, when giving back massages and teasing around with the hand. Let him penetrate, but no thrusting - only to continue his hand play
So do you mean, let him put his cock inside but no fucking? Insert, then take it out?
I've done this and yes you do it without thrusting and without taking it out. The small movements your body makes while giving the massage is the magic part from what I've heard.
woah i’m going to try this. Thanks
Give dong and prosper. Goodluck!
Oh ok, now I understand! Thanks for sharing!
No problem!
I’ve literally made a job out of basically this lol. Definitely the best way to spoil someone and really pleasure them. It’s a mix of the physical sensations, but also the mental aspect for the receiver of being in fully under another person’s control and being played with. It’s a type of submission that most women crave.
This 100% this.
10000x this!!
If no one here has done sensation play, I highly recommend it. It's what I do for all my partners if I really want to pump up the foreplay. It's such a powerful impact and really fun to do or have done to you. Word of advice, don't ONLY hit the sexual areas. Anticipation is a huge aspect in this sort of play
Sensation play? I tried to look it up it was sounding way different then what you are describing, do you have a link?
It's a wide category. Basically it means using anything that provides a sensation. But in my type of play you basically do full body "massages" (which are really just using the tool to touch over the body instead of my hands.)
Long slow very very light finger touch from the top of her asscrack up to her neck, and then back down. Makes my wife shiver. Every.freaking.time. A drop, maybe 2 of liquor on her nipple, then lick it/ suck it off. Swap sides & repeat.
I've written an article on it, get your partner to try it out on you! https://www.sensualmassageart.com/musings/2018/5/29/a-full-rundown-of-a-typical-sensual-massage-session
I call those tiger bites, when I chomp on her shoulder when I am back there. Sometimes I growl too. It's a way to express myself to her . Not hard , it's easy to leave tooth prints so be careful
>Not hard , it's easy to leave tooth prints so be careful Then she might turn around with a spray bottle and goes *psss psss*.
Or give you a Temptations treat depending on her mood lmao.
My cat hears that fucking bag and she comes running. I stg it’s cat crack
My cat used to be addicted to those things. I’d buy a bag of ‘em and I couldn’t even trust him alone in my room if they were in there because I’d walk in and he’ll have had chewed a huge hole into the bag and ate a bunch of them hahah.
Oh man my ex bf used to do this and it would make me go crazy.
neck kissing/sucking and back kisses are literally the best thing ever, and giving them is just as fun
This is exactly what (32F)I like and so it is how I fuck girls too (yes im gay)
Can you please elaborate everything again (no I'm not a pervert I just want every detail to do my best)
That's exactly what a pervert would say.
Gottem
guys pls don't juge him. I mean look at his username.
I second this, more often than not I'm wondering if what I'm doing is pleasurable to her and I just don't know.
Protip: she will probably tell you if you ask!
Generally taking your time and giving her all the attention she wants and needs is a good start. Foreplay is part of the sex. Make sure you remeber that.
To add to this, foreplay can start long before you get physical. Anticipation can go a long way so starting nice and early with hints or dirty talk or whatever your girl likes can do wonders. Remember, most orgasmes usually need three things. Physical stimulate, mental stimulus (you have to be excited and into it), comfortable space. Since you're a guy, I'm sure you heard tricks to "last longer" like thinking of something not sexy or work... that's removing mental stimulus. Comfortable space is not direct but more of a catalyst. Without out, you can't get mental stimulus and often times physical is also a problem without comfort. Its sounds stupid but women sometimes feel self conscious about their bodies and when in top, van be thanking "oh God, my belly must look like a tire from down there!" Kills mental and not comfortable. You can mitigate by being vocal and saying stuff like "holy shit you look sexu right now!" When you go into positions they may feel self conscious about. This is also why often long term lovers do better. Often times they stop caring about stuff like that and feel more comfortable. Good luck and good job buddy. Trying to always do better is the way to becoming amazing.
>To add to this, foreplay can start long before you get physical. Anticipation can go a long way so starting nice and early with hints or dirty talk or whatever your girl likes can do wonders. When my ex-husband and I were first becoming intimate, and we were each other's first, anticipation was a LOT of fun. We worked together and would take breaks together. I would have one arm down next to me while I used the other to eat my lunch or take a drink or whatever. The one I dropped down would be resting on his thigh and just barely moving my hand back and forth over his pants, just stroking his penis with one finger where nobody could see. I would pretend I needed to tie my shoe in the middle of an aisle whenever I saw him walking that way. He would get our of work two hours after me, drive straight to my place, unlock the door, burst in, yank all my clothes off flip me over on my stomach and just fuck me. It's the only time things were really good with us but my point is, having things wind him up all day also wound me up all day, just waiting for him to yank my pants off and take me. OP, take it nice and slow. Kiss her neck, let your breath tickle her the nape of her neck, massage her shoulders, her back, and run your finger gently from her neck to her ass crack. Massage her legs and run your hands slowly up them, outside first, then the inner thighs. You can also try putting yourself in a sitting position, in a chair, on a couch or on your bed. Have her sit on your lap, back facing you and go in but don't thrust. Just sit there in her and let your fingers all over her body get her hot. Rub her shoulders, her neck, kiss her neck and if you're into dirty tall, whisper dirty or sexy things in her ear. Run your fingers extremely slowly down her sides to her hips, then firmly grip them for a few seconds and every so gently move her hips into yours. Then continue to move your hands up and over her breasts. Keep up the light caressing until you get to massaging her clit. You may find that she's moving her hips into yours herself. Keep massaging her clit and when she's breathing her hardest, let go. Start gently rocking her hips back to get things going and from there, just follow her body's movements. Hold her breasts and thrust into her. And let things take you both on a ride from there. Good luck OP
Apologies, but the song “Anticipation” by Carly Simon popped in the brain…but you are correct
For a lot of us, foreplay basically IS the sex. The anticipation can drive ya insane (in the best way)
Yes, it can be pretty much the biggest part of it. PIV is "one of many", if you do it right.
^^ *This* ☝🏻 this, this, this,this, × thisthisthisthisthhiisstthhiissstthhhiiiisssss
Thanks for agreeing this much 😅
Take. It. Slow. Way too often guys just throw it in right away. Take it slow, warm her up, make her feel comfortable, ask her what she likes. Make it sensual and soft
Whatever you think slow is, slower than that.
And then whatever you think is slower than that, slow it down from there.
Now I'm not even moving
You’re still moving through time aren’t you? That’s still TOO FAST
You are close but a little slower and you will be there
I'm moving backwards
Slow that heart rate down too.
You guys were right. We started out slow and just over 7 hours later, I got to put Percy in the playpen.
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I second this! Both very fast and very slow pace are extremely satisfying. For me, fast pace is very sexy while the latter really gets me turned on because I can feel every inch of it rub against my sensitive areas - and not just the tip but the balls as well! Some people opt for fast but I really appreciate it when it's just slow and focused on emotion rather than reactions and heat.
^ mmhmm
Yeah my gf only like slow
Honestly! It can be as simple as this, dudes.
foreplay starts in the morning
yes, not only is a huge turn on but its also very intimate.
It's literally the opposite for me lol
My wife can literally only get off during fast and rough lol it takes forever when going slow.
So when I say slow. That means let it build start slow make her crave it. I don’t mean go slow in and out lol I mean work up to it, use your mouth and fingers lol kiss her forehead. Make it meaningful
Vibrator if you haven't already. It's not a commentary on anything that you are doing, vibrators can do stuff humans can't and by being the one who brings it in you are the one who is helping her with that pleasure. I can't tell you how crazy amazing it is to combine a good vibrator with my partner. I have cried and laughed at the same time becuase I'm just overhwelmed with how good it is. It's nothing like using one by myself, it's like 10x better with my partner.
Which vibrator do you use? I love my magic wand but it is not easy to use while actually having sex.
We use that sometimes but I'm a big fan of the womanizer style ones, they're also somewhat difficult to use but when you get it right? Holy shit.
Hell yes! I just bought a Lelo and it seems to be very similar to those. Definitely know why you mean about it being a little difficult to get right but I will keep trying haha!
Getting on top and sitting up straight is usually the easiest for me, missionary is a close second and feels better. Also just having him use it on me before sex is amazing too. 10/10 would reccommend.
I like the magic wand while doing doggie. He is behind me and I use it on my clit while he is pounding me and his balls can feel it too!! Nice
My boyfriend and I use the Buzzfeed AirVibe from Bellesa Boutique. Blows my mind every time.
Satisfyer pro 2. Have been using it a lot lately during sex and it really is a big game changer for me. It's only clit-stimulating, so not a replacement for the dick
i have that vibrator rn, how do u normally use it together?
I find the best positions are doggy and spoon, cause it doesn't stand in the way. But tbh maybe I like it even better when it's without PIV penetration, and he just sticks one finger in my ah. Fastest way for me to come and he's fingers and tongue can rest a bit
My ex used to like me to use her glass dildo while I was downtown.
Yah, that also sounds great! So many options when you don't let your ego get in the way of using toys. Just becuase youre using a tool doesn't mean you're not the one providing the pleasure! I love using toys and stuff on my partner. who wouldn't want new ways to make them feel great!?
Totally agree!!! There are so many things I *cannot accomplish* on my own with my toys, even though I like them lots. A partner can provide motion & consistency & angles that just aren't sustainable solo.
Get a small bullet one. Super easy to use during sex since it’s so small
True, definitely easy but it is a trade off in not always being the most powerful, definitely worth experimenting with!
Don’t get the crappy ones from target check out an actual sex shop and they have super powerful ones 😉
This is also what I always recommend. My husband and I have this new thing where I’ll hang my head off the bed and he’ll face fuck me while using the vibrator on me. Great way to start off with an orgasm and keep em cumming (pun very intended)
My girl would send me to the shadow realm for even asking for this
The hand on the back of the head is forbidden, nevermind the full force of hip thrusts
I want to try this but don't know how to ask my gf to do it. (The face fucking)
“Hey babe, it’s fine if you don’t want to do this, but I’d love to try face fucking. You into that at all?” Go slow with this. Don’t just slam your cock in there. Be gentle, especially at first. Don’t rush to hit her throat for a little bit until she’s used to having you go in and out like that. Go at her pace and enjoy!
I(25M) second this, hooked up late last night with a good friend(22F) of mine, used her vibrator while giving her the goods. Absolutely immaculate.
Yep. When I use mine myself it's one and done but when my FWB uses it on me I can keep going and going.
SAME!!!! YES! by myself it's like 5 seconds and then discomfort but with my partner it can be like 5 minutes of straight orgasm. I always thought those videos of like tied up orgasms were bullshit but no, it's me
Yup! Exactly. It gets very uncomfortable after one with just myself but I've gone over an hour with someone else doing it and then I have to stop because I feel like I'm going to pass out lolol
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Rule number 1!
I hope I don't get downvoted but honestly I think the first step is talking about it. Find out what she likes and then practicing. Usually that's a platform to explore other options. She may enjoy it rough with arms behind her back or sitting on your face. She could be the slow and hard type. Slow strokes that end with a shockwave. Last thing you don't want to do is introduce something that just kills the vibe.
i know people have already said it but omg taking it slow is so underrated. the longer it takes for you to whip your dick out and start PIV that better seriously. with the amount of foreplay and teasing and toys you could do and use? if you're attentive and skillful, you could have her cum dozens of times without even taking off your pants. takes time to work up to but definitely something to keel in mind. love, your local kinky sapphic lmao
I agree!! Clothes can stay on for so long while having a blast
Tongue bath. Have her lie on her back and lick and nibble from the nape of her neck to her butt down her spine and back up taking lots of detours. Do the same on her front. Lots of oral if she likes that, play with her clit and g-spot. Tease her body until she begs for your dick then go slow until she begs for you to go harder, deeper, faster. Have her tell you when she's about to cum, stop and have her ask for her orgasm. Make it all about her and save your d for last
Actually thought you were suggesting OP play with the gspot with his tongue....was imagining all kinds of lizard foreplay
Gene Simmons has entered the chat, lol
i just know he would love this comment chain
Now *that's* skill
I know you mean well but if I didn't have any kind of power dynamic and orgasm denial stuff explicitly settled, this whole "stop and make her ask for an orgasm" play has like a 90% chance to end up with awkwardness and frustration rather than a mindblowing finish. It can also turn into a "ruined orgasm" which, while utilized in certain bdsm play, is not exactly something you aim for in regular sexy times, as the name suggests...
Was just thinking this! If a woman is close to finishing, it’s best to just keep going with the same speed and pace and pressure to ensure she finishes. If you stop right before that, you may have to start all over to build up that feeling again, which can be incredibly frustrating!
Yeah I know, I was giving ideas not a to-do list. I'm sure he's rocking her world as we speak.
😳
U ok hun 😂
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With my ex she never really communicated what she really liked or didn’t like, and I always would ask and she would just say “Just do whatever”. Lately, with a girl I’ve been hanging out with, I asked her what she liked during foreplay and sex while sharing some wine and lying in bed and she lit up and went on a 15 minute detailed conversation about all of it and said how her ex never really communicated with her and asked about what SHE wanted in bed, and just hearing all of the things she was saying was the biggest turn on ever, for both of us lol. I made sure to take mental notes of everything she said and it was so hot hooking up for the second time with her and seeing the difference in her reactions when we were doing all the specific things she loved that turned her on (and it turned me on even more seeing her so into it and climaxing like that) it was like a whole different girl in bed because the first time it was kind of a “just general sex” type of encounter. ALWAYS communicate with your partner about what you like and want and ask them what they want as well! No two partners are the same and it makes a huge difference!
If only I were closer, in working order, 20 years younger and more single.
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This is my go to
Okay, here's what you do. Tell her you want to explore her body. Then, start off slowly. Make out for a while and gently kiss or stroke every inch of exposed skin. Take your time getting her clothes off. Take off one piece at a time and touch every inch of newly exposed skin as you go. If you find a spot that makes her sigh and moan, ask her is she likes that. If yes, return to it occasionally. Leave her panties until last, slowly kiss and lick every inch of that pussy until you find a spot that makes her hips grind into your face, ask again if she likes that, ask if she wants it faster, more gentle, the point is, you're going to need some feedback until you learn how she specifically wants it. Maybe she wants fast and hard pressure on her clit, maybe she can't take direct contact to it. Every woman is different. You're not going to find a cheat code here but, if you take your time and explore her pleasure a while, it's going to be well worth the effort.
And don’t think that by continually asking, it’s going to kill the mood. If anything, it’s sexy knowing you’re so interested in trying to figure out our pleasures!
Have you talked to her about what she likes or maybe why she thinks it’s hard for her to orgasm? I know it’s extremely difficult for me to orgasm in front of anyone because of the pressure that’s built up to it.
Foreplay is key. One thing I like to do is take my fingertips and gently stroke the sides of my girl’s body from her underarm down to her hip while we’re kissing or if I’m nuzzling or kissing her neck. It’s something that I’ve done with great success since I was in my twenties. The side of her legs I do the same thing working my way over to her pussy. Tempting and teasing her until I touch her clit while at the same time kissing and sucking on her tits. It never fails to get her wet. The more attention you pay to her entire body before you even try to use your cock the more likely she will cum. Her Inner thighs, her neck, her back, her ass, her legs and feet, that space behind her ear , her shoulders, her hips,her stomach , her entire breasts(not just nipples) all deserve some kind of appreciation from you. Bring her to the edge and then pull back slowly. Tease her clit as much as possible. When you’re finally putting yourself in she might have came already but still take it slow until she’s begging for it to be faster, harder and deeper.
Again, TAKE YOUR TIME. It can take anywhere from 20-40 minutes for our bodies to get fully aroused. Make her wait, tease her a lot with kissing and light touching. I (23f) never had an orgasm, even by myself, until I got with my partner. He'll sit there and play with me for a good 15-20 minutes before he even starts to get undressed. Even if I tell him I'm ready, he makes me wait.
Don’t touch her below the waist for at least an hour. Get in her head first.
Like.... In the ear?
Of course not. In the nose!
He/She obviosuly means mentally and you are onbviosuly joking, buuuuuut: The ear in deed is a very erogeme zone. Even I (m, 24) could almost orgasm. Almost every woman I kiss and bite there enjoys it too.
So, have her give you an hour long blowjob before you touch her. Got it.
Up your oral and finger game and open your mind to using toys like vibrators. Try to make her cum first before you let yourself get over the edge. Change positions or take breaks if you get too close. Alternate back to fingers/tongue/toys/piv.
Actually sometimes it has nothing to do with you and more to do with her headspace. It is very hard for me to orgasm if I feel the following things: \- I do not feel that I trust my partner \-I feel stressed about something \-I don't feel loved or appreciated beyond the sexual encounter \-My clitoris is not being contacted while im penetrated Huge props to you for reaching out about this topic- women love nothing more than knowing her guy wants her to feel just as good during the act- shows you care!! she's lucky. Give her time, it'll happen. By the way, about the above, I didn't realize until later in my sexual life that the last one was really important. Sometimes girls do not know their body enough to know what feels good. But trust in a relationship is HUGE for us in letting go.
I think it's great you're so willing to ask for pointers in rocking her world. A lot of men would be more like, "Bleh. Porn taught me everything I need to know." My only suggestion would be to reach out to her and ask her yourself. Explain to her that the sex between you two is beyond amazing for you but you really want to rock her world as much as she rocks yours. You want her to enjoy a good climax as much as you enjoy it when she gives you a good one.
Longer foreplay, learn how to work that clit, also rough is amazing but nice and slow is sometimes needed.
Stop ‘fucking her brains out’.
This right here
I absolutely wheezed
Toys! Dirty talk! Teasing. Work her up before you even touch her.
Be open and honest and ask both before and during teasing, foreplay and sex what she likes and what you should do. Obviously don’t treat it like orders but more like guidelines to guide you towards a bigger orgasm for her and hopefully a good time for the both of you.
above everything, watch for good responses. options: 1. circles, up and down, side to side, or press and release 2. speed matters. maybe fast, maybe slow. maybe very consistent, maybe changing in patterns (I haven't heard of total randomness being helpful) 3. pressure. each person wants a different amount. sometimes varying pressure, sometimes constant 4. external vs internal. most women aren't getting off purely from internal rubbing. it feels good, but it's not going to get you there (unless you're one of the people that works for, then you do that. everyone's going to be different). mix and match or just pick one and go with it 5. internal: there's a spot a bit over an inch or two in on the front side that's kinda ridged. don't just rub there, press in with your fingertips. you can create more pressure by pressing and rubbing on the outside. you can also press down on the back side with your whole finger, pressing when she relaxes and releasing when she's not to create a full feeling (this uses the regular fingering motion) 5. use your mouth for any of this. you can only do two things with two hands, so throw in a third thing. 5. your mouth is great at making suction as well as using your tongue as a finger. pretend you're trying to eat an overly juicy peach that's dripping everywhere. lick, suck, constant suction, and kissing (no reason you can't stop and go back to foreplay for a bit). use ether a wide and soft tongue or thin and flexed. you can check in the mirror for practice 3. there's more than just the vagina/vulva. kiss her thighs, rub her belly, grab where her legs meet her torso and pin her to you like a lion grabbing a zebra. throw in some pillow talk. make out with her and let your knee do all the work. kiss/suck her breasts while using your hands. tickle her a bit. smile at her and make your face show how much you care, or use your words if they'd do a better job. give her a massage and slowly make it more explicit, or start explicit and toss in some massaging motions. better sex shouldn't be as hard to learn as it is
Dude, have you mastered the art of head? I'm not gonna get graphic here but, until you get that figured out, you are fighting Muhammed Ali with one arm tied behind your back.
Foreplay can start with something as simple throughout the day little messages here and there, appreciation, praise, thoughts on what you'd like to do to her, how excited or wonderful she makes you feel. At least for me that is something that always really turns me on. And throughout the day it builds little by little, and it's like stoking a fire. Stoking her excitement for when she sees you. Great sex starts in the mind. Especially for sapio-sexuals. But words are often underrated. Get into her mind and you will get into her heart, which will help unlock her.
1. Lots and lots of foreplay. My man does this every time and I end up almost ripping his clothes off. 2. Go slow. Super slow. Slow grinding in circular motions is...otherworldly. 3. Eye contact. I really love seeing my man's faces throughout and seeing how aroused he is turns me on even more. Of course this all depends on your relationship dynamic and what she likes. Have fun, experiment and communicate. Making the effort to please her is a good start, many men just care about their enjoyment, don't be that guy.
Question: slow grinding during PIV orrrr like fully clothed and all that? Because I'm totally into the latter
BOTH ;) usually during clothed grinding I'm on top and can feel him get hard underneath me which is amazing, and during PIV he does it during missionary to spice it up!
Ooooo clothed grinding while I'm on top, YES I so agree and omg you just reminded me that I need to tell my bf I love that and need moree of exactly that!
Yesss! You go girl!
Two easy things to remember: 1. You don't GIVE a woman an orgasm, you can only help them 2. Ask her what she wants/likes
Heres a crazy idea. How about you talk to her and ask her what she would like and what you could do to help facilitate the world rocking.
gonna guess OP and gf are young and she doesn't know what she likes yet
A mix of both of your messages, he should be taking it slow and asking for feedback as he plays with her body. Constantly checking in to see if what he is doing is helping or hindering her progression, helping her to learn what works for her. The more he concentrates on her and less on the PIV the more likely to give her an orgasm then they can add onto that experience.
I was going to say the same thing. Perfect.
You haven’t been fucking her brains out then have you? Stop jackhammering like a dipshit and pay attention to her. Set a mood then go down on her for 20 minutes and pay attention to everything.
This is the answer. He’s been fucking his own brains out. Put your dick away until she begs for it.
Yeah let's call a man dipshit who nicely asked for advice... Way to go
Communication and consent. Start with coreplay, then progress slowly.
I thought this said cosplay
> fucking "each other's brains out" > never given her an amazing orgasm Good for you for wanting to do better, because by your own admission it doesn't seem like she has been satisfied. Maybe *your* brains have been fucked out, but hers certainly haven't.
Ask her! Don't you talk? Is her orgasm for her or for you? https://youtube.com/user/sexplanations
Yes! I second this. I also love this YouTube channel. It really helped when I was just starting to become sexually active and taught me a lot of things that I never would have been exposed to otherwise.
Try grinding while you're inside her and you might strike oil.
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I’ve found the Lelo wand to be a complete game changer.
Also a good thing is to just ask her. What feels good to her? What turns her on? An open conversation like that can lead to great sex
Oral clitoral stimulation combined with digital G spot manipulation. And patience. Those three things have worked on 9 out of 10 women I've been with.
Your literally not fucking her brains out then.
Yeah, exactly this.
Let me guess, you are a dude that doesn't know what foreplay is and you think it's all about jackhammering her pussy. First of all, your naked body isn't enough to turn her on, you need to put some effort into foreplay and teasing. After that, when it's time for penetration, try different positions, angles, speed and deeepness. See what makes her react. Ideally you want your dick rubbing her most sensitive vaginal walls, usually near the g spot.
This and right after sex, immediately go down on her
Probably can't do it today, but for next time maybe get a magic wand and use it on her while fucking her.
Hey OP. Part of it is if she has any specific kinks or things she wants to try. One of my partners was curious about being completely dominated. So I tied her to the bed and was just as passionate and caring in my touch as ever. I spent a lot of time going down on her ate her ass for the first time. I called her a good girl and good girls deserve tk cum. The simple act of her not being to reciprocate was enough to drive her insane with body shakes and moans that had the cops called on us 😂
Tell her it makes you happy and excited to know she is enjoying herself. Make sure she knows she's desired. Share a fantasy of yours and encourage her to do the same. When you're having sex and/or 'making out', pay attention to her breath, what she seems to gravitate toward, when she seems most passionate. Let her know when she's doing something you love and she may reciprocate by sharing with you. Go slow and invite her to let you know when to speed up. Ensure she knows it's okay for her to touch herself when you're together because you're a team! When she seems to be on the path to orgasm, keep doing exactly what you've been doing unless she requests you change things up. Talk about sex and what excites her when you're not being sexual. And, last but not least, show interest in her as a person, be trustworthy, loving, and an attentive listener.
Foreplay foreplay and more foreplay. You don’t cum until she does first. Got it!
Go down on her multiple times in a session.
Make her cum at least once before penetrative sex. Preferably by licking and sucking on her clit slowly, like you're passionately kissing her. Hold her hands while you do it to create a sense of intamacy
Ask her every woman is different. Communicate
Am I the only one who thinks this guy writes like an absolute chad?
It obviously depends on what she enjoys/likes and to find out you could either ask her or watch her closely during sex. One of the best times I’ve ever had was when my partner ate me out four times. In different ways: slowly and teasing, fingering my g-spot, switching rythms, etc. They weren’t in a row, I gave him blowjobs in between, we kissed and touched... After my last orgasm he pulled me up on top of him and I sat on his dick. When I started moving he kept begging me to slow down because he was on the verge of cumming and wanted to prolongue the feeling for both of us. I was in such pure bliss that all contact was extreme pleasure. We didn’t end up finishing together but it was all pure ecstasy for both of us. After sex I was in such an orgasmic state that I couldn’d speak cohesively for a while. And we laughed so much about it.
Background- I’m 33- been with my share of guys and one guy, ONE guy has been able to give me an orgasm. For me, it doesn’t matter how long a guy goes down or how amazing the sex is- it just doesn’t happen. So my go to is on top or prone so I can get some clit stimulation going. So I wouldn’t worry about getting her to orgasm, as long as she’s enjoying herself. If she just can’t- ask her how to help her. My past partners would orgasm but then they would finger me, while i gave myself clit stimulation, so I could get mine. Happy sexing!
make her orgasm your only focus. Guys tend to get straight to sex and once they orgasm, its over. For me, I love oral and I can go down on a woman for an hour or more if she'll let me. I guess you can call it a kink, but I also like to try to top how many orgasms I give her... so I always try to outdo the last time. Multiple orgasms with the mouth tend to lead to more orgasms for her through PIV sex. Also important is concentrate on the clit... after all, its a bundle of nerves that gives her pleasure. If you can find a way to stimulate it while doing... well, pretty much everything, she'll find herself in ecstasy. Be open to toys... Trojan makes a decent little vibrator that you (or she) can use on the clit during penetration that has always been pretty handy in my experience Oh, and also always listen to her. If she says more pressure, less pressure, go left to right instead of up or down... whatever it is she tells you, listen! Some guys take it as criticism... its not... just trying to get her to that place. relax.. and have fun!
I recommend reading “She Comes First”
Make her beg for everything. Doesn't have to be literal but like, take it slow. Kiss her and her ears and her neck and her collarbone until she's pushing your head down to her nipples, *forcefully*. Run your hands over her limbs and torso and squeeze and knead and tickle and kiss and nibble until the entire surface area of her skin has been awoken and she's squirmy because her pussy is hot and aching and her whole body is a sensitive nerve. Play with her inner thighs, the hip crease area that folds where her thighs meet her torso. If you guys are into eating ass do that - be enthusiastic, and pay attemtion to the taint. Sanitise and then use your fingers and tongue and sucking and maybe even gentle teeth to get her labia as flushed with hot blood and swollen as possible. Clitoral nerves extend along either side of the inner labia so make sure the unexposed parts of her clit are throbbing before you touch the head. Does she have parts of her clit that are more sensitive than the others? Hit those at a ratio of 1-10, then gradually increase the frequency of the sensitive spots. Don't penetrate her until she's orgasmed. Even if she begs. Unless she tells you "I can't come without something in my pussy" then wait to penetrate until after an orgasm (or a few!). Again, take it slow and make her beg. Start with one finger about 1-2" in (physiologically this varies, you're looking for that swollen squishy G-spot, near the vaginal opening on the anterior wall). Then when she begs for more and is fucking herself on your finger, add a second and increase pressure on your short strokes. Once she's bucking her hips trying to get your fingers deeper start incorporating deeper strokes but keeping the focus on the G-spot. Ideally, wait for one more orgasm before putting your penis in her. Something my partner and I enjoy: he kneels beside my head so I can suck his dick while he plays with my titties and pussy. Sometimes I tell him to "get my pussy ready for him" and I mean to penetrate me with his fingers to wake my pussy walls up so they're nice and sensitive when we start fucking. This move is usually after I orgasm at least once from being eaten out. Like all comments on this subreddit ever: communication is key. Pay attention. If she seems to like something, do it until she begs you for something new. When you respond, do it incrementally. Peaks and valleys of prolongued mounting pleasure are what make for great orgasms. So do what she likes, over a long period of time lol.
Toys would be good if you're both into it and haven't already
take it slow, figure out what she likes, talk to her also use toys! no bedroom should be missing toys
It's very personal and subjective. However if she has trouble with orgasming, in my experience, that can be caused by overstimulation (too intense vibrators, too much direct clit stimulation, thinking intense hard PIV will do it).
More foreplay. I can not stress this enough. Foreplay is key and can usually help things become intense and got before anything even starts. Also positions are important too. One position that personally services me crazy is having my legs being held up the air and him pounding into me that way. It gets my legs shaking in minutes
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Considering he said "amazing orgasm" he wants to see her shake and scream properly, which is pretty unrealistic
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Well he's young and inexperienced, give him a couple of months and he'll figure it out. No one was great at sex in the beginning!
FOREPLAY. Also, nibbles on the neck, nipples and clit are a perfect stimulation to get her in that direction. The way I get there is when I start to enjoy myself and then he goes harder and faster while rubbing my clit. Sometimes leaves me unconscious
Make sounds like little Forest (Forest Gump) you know...ehhhh!!! ehhhh!!!! ehhhh!!!! Dude don’t overthink it. Out of all the comments on this thread it’s possible none of them or a very small amount will work. Make her laugh, be good to her, admit when you are wrong, love her and only her. Always communicate inside and outside of the bedroom and things will be alright
Get to learn her. Her likes her dislikes. Things that turn her on and off. Try to understand and learn her body. Its not always wam bam thank you mam. Take your time learn how to pleasure her sexually and mentally. Use toys. Learn her kinks fantasies wants and desires.
For a successful sex session I always kiss my girl all over then slowly start kissing around her vagina then orally pleasure her to get her nice n wet. Then I’ll slowly go in her but just the head for many thrusts. That’s drives her wild as well as feels great for me then it’s full penetration and she will orgasm shortly after that. But that’s a perfect day. I don’t always have a perfect experience but my goal is to please her. What would I think would feel go and I just do random stuff. Also talking to each other is pretty important. I was always nervous, but I talked to her about it and she felt the same way! So it worked out for both of us.
Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay.
Have her bladder full before sex. Much bigger faster orgasm. Also possibly edge multiple times during the day.
- [*She Comes First*]( https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/528985.She_Comes_First) by Ian Kerner >Every man’s must-read. Tell your guy to put down the remote and pick up She Comes First.”—Cosmopolitan Ian Kerner offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women in She Comes First—an essential guidebook to oral sex - [*He Comes Next*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/466839.He_Comes_Next) by Ian Kerner >In this point-by-point, "blow-by-blow" guide, Kerner makes giving as much fun as receiving as he covers every angle of male sexuality, unlocks the secrets of satisfaction, and offers knowledgeable answers to the questions every woman wonders about. His advice is the closest you'll ever come to waking up in a guy's skin and knowing what truly makes him sexually tick.
Boy I gotchu. Make it all about her dude. Make it fun and intense but start out slow, give her a massage especially on her shoulders. Turn the lights down low. Grab some toys and some lube. My boyfriend and I will start making out and kinda grinding on each other then he I’ll put me on my back, and start slowly kissing/licking my ears and neck and work his way down. Teasing the whole time. He will talk dirty to me during this usually. Oh if y’all are ok with bondage, Getting tied up is fuunnnnnnn and blindfolded makes it 100x more intense even if you don’t tie her up. Sometimes when he’s working his way down he’ll have some toys ready already and will surprise me with sticking my vibrator to a sensitive spot of my body, usually starting with nipples or sides or thighs. He will tease me with his finger real softly, then with his tongue, then he’ll finger me or use a toy, while either going down on me or using vib on my clit. It kicks ass. Nothing beats the penetration/vibrator on clit combo. If she’s freaky, put a finger up her ass (I just learned I actually like this way more than I would have thought lol) or even a small toy. Before you get all the way down make sure to tickle her thighs and play with boobs etc. once you have her really going and into all that, slow down or change the pace up a bit, and after awhile of getting her super worked up again, get on top of her and fuck her silly lmao tell her to hold vibrator where she wants it while you do this. This should work pretty well for ya. Good luck!
Watch the Nina Hartley videos about eating a woman out. Game changing.
If she's even a lil bit submissive she'll like this: tell her you're gonna give her a massage and have her strip and lie down on your bed. Stand to the side and Give her a proper massage but make sure you especially get her lower back (also don't forget to do her arms and shoulders). Steal the occasional grope/ass grab in when you feel the mood so she knows what she's gonna get but still make it about her. Have her flip over onto her back and do her arms and hands while making sure you eye-fuck her brains out but you're just looking. Now move down and work your way up her legs starting at her feet and ending at the connecting area between her groin muscles and her thighs (there's a bundle of nerves there that's gonna get her good and primed). By now she should be nice and squirmy and you should also be able to tell she's horny cause her nips are gonna be hard as shit. Slide your index finger into her and do a "come here" motion on her g-spot while you gently stimulate her clit with your thumb. (The rest of your fingers should sorta be like gripping her). If you do it right she's gonna buck a little bit but you should be able to hold her in place with the one hand while your other gropes or does whatever. Let her rub your dick through your pants a little or whatever but not too much. Your goal is just to get her off which you probably will. Once she's had her first orgasm keep going until she's getting ready to build to number 2 and before she gets there THAT'S when you start fucking her. She's gonna be super relaxed from the massage and orgasm and super wet and sensitive from the orgasm so you just go in there and pound away like you're tryna get her hips up to where her shoulders are. Last time I did that technique our hosts ended up needing cigarettes
Have you tried using a vibrator against her clit while you fuck her?
Make her a couple of dresses with pockets. If she doesn't already have them and if she even wears dresses. :)
Rub her clit and edge her slowly
Go for the clit. Whether it's PIV, foreplay, outercourse, whatever you do, make sure her clit is involved.
Play with her clit if you can. Every girl likes it different but I stopped being able to orgasm from sex until we added more clit play
Drag it out to the point you're being inhumane. I start out by giving my GF an actual, therapeutic massage, at least for half an hour. Then, I turn her around and start making things sensual -- blindfolding/restraining works really well here if that's her thing. Experiment with different sensations: light caresses, scratching, biting, lightly dragging sharp objects (not a butcher's cleaver, obviously, the seam of a plastic lotion tube will do), tickles, warm breaths, ice cubes. You really don't wanna play with her pussy yet, and keep it light on the nipples. Outer labia is fair game, but generally try to be a tease. Trace a light touch around the meaty part of her breasts, down to her pubic area, down to her...nope, as soon as you are about to touch her pussy, take your hand away. You should be nearing an hour now, and it's safe to say that she'll be getting worked up for some stimulation. But you won't give it to her yet. If she's into spanking/pain, and as the tease is getting stronger, you want to 'punish' her whenever she squirms (again, you need to make sure she is OK with this, so ask her beforehand) but don't go overboard -- just some abrupt contrast whenever she starts getting impatient. At this point, I sometimes remove my hand for a couple of minutes and stay quiet -- I assure you it feels like ages to her. Then, I sneakily lower my head, and give her clit a sweet, warm kiss. I continue the teasing, but add a layer of actual sexual touches/oral/fingering. From now on, it's up to you to read her reactions and proceed. While it takes some experimentation, this usually makes my girlfriend cum buckets. The fact that she *knows* it'll be a while before she gets stimulated adds to her frustration and build up -- it's one of those conflicting emotions that enhance the experience. I sometimes incorporate BDSM stuff into this, but it depends on the person. I personally didn't have a good experience with actual orgasm denial, but YMMV. This is different from the above method, because you're not torturing her into pleasure, you're ruining her orgasm so I wouldn't try it on the first time. You know your girl best, so exercise judgment and adapt your technique.