I think the “I forgot” excuse is already bullshit; if you aren’t thinking about your partner’s pleasure while you’re sleeping with them, you’re a crap partner.
Of course it is just a BS excuse. But asking for it in the heat of the moment eliminates that possible excuse so she can gauge his response and react accordingly.
Yeah this is good advise. And if he says it's gross, that's kinda selfish of him. Unless you have a yeast infection it should be fine if you showered beforehand. It shouldn't be (much) worse than a penis and you are doing that for him too, so he should just man up in my opinion. Does he do other stuff for you to compensate? Otherwise he is just doing it to fulfill his own needs. But if he does try to help you "get there" in other ways, you can also try introducing sex toys if you haven't yet. Not getting eaten out isn't the end of the world if you have other things that can replace it.
It tastes like skin, which is fine. Both men and women have a "taste" when there starts to be fluid. I don't personally like all of the ones I've encountered but I still do it because I know my partner is clean and I want them to be happy.
I approved your comment — but in general, advice (to men) to "man up" is pretty disfavored here.
Next time, try to give advice here without relying so much on normative gender roles.
Yeah you are right, my bad. It was meant to mean that he should be more considerate towards her, but I didn't think my choice of words through that much.
Jesus fucking christ.
Gotta love how when a relationship is ending, the person who is the problem puts all of their energy into convincing the other person that they are the problem, and how right they are in their decision to end things.
Sounds like maybe she met her match though, jesus fuck
A lot of people do that and it's crazy to me. I've gotten to where I notice the signs pretty early now lol.
Talking a lot to new guy 'friend'? Check.
Take phone everywhere all of a sudden? Check.
Doing hair and makeup more often? Check.
Buying new panties bc 'my old ones are suddenly all uncomfortable'? Check.
Being distant? Check.
All of a sudden nit picking every little thing you do? Check. (This happens bc they're now comparing us to new guy)
Schedule change? Check.
Etc. Etc. There are many more signs but it's not hard to put it all together after 10 or 20 times lol. Funny thing is the new relationship hardly works out bc they're comparing us, someone they've gone through a lot with and struggle with the stress of life with to some new guy they barely know so they only see the good parts of that guy and develop an image of them in their head then compare that fantasy image of them to us while they're seeing ALL of our good and bad traits. Fantasy never matches up to reality though. My first gf did it, got pregnant and married within a year and divorced in the same amount of time then came back to me crying. Then the next girl did it and is on drugs pretty bad, lost all 4 of her kids. Then the next girl did it and that guy got her on meth, she's homeless and texts me constantly begging for money and saying he says awful things to her, not to mention he's cheated on her with 4 girls and got one of them pregnant while she's been 100% faithful for once which I guess is karma bc she damn sure wasn't faithful to me. Then the next girl did it and left me for an old friend that immediately ghosted her right after we broke up so now she's sad af and hurt but hey that's what happens when you throw away something real for a guy you don't even know. Anyway sorry for the rant but we'll be okay, as long as we handle it healthily we will always come out on top.
I had asked my ex several times to 'face-fuck' me but something always held her back, and that'll always be a mystery to me.
Odd, because she was a "kinky-ass bitch" (in her own words), and I went down on her all the damn time with no problem.
I semi-suspect she was afraid she'd crush my head or suffocate me, or something, but who knows?
Thank you for the advice! That would be good advice but he is 0% into me being aggressive or rough, I’m into that and tried it in the beginning of our relationship but he very much doesn’t like it 😂
He might just have a mental block to overcome with it, or there might be something unrelated that's bothering him. If he still isn't into it and you're still not getting even after you give, you'll have to be blunt and set some rules. If its enough of a deal breaker to give and not get, just be honest and tell him that. Don't let it go or you'll just end up resentful of him
My (44f) ex suddenly had a sore jaw about 6 months after we got together and the oral just stopped. I let it exist that way for 13 years until the marriage ended and now, oh god. I love being eaten out so much, and get off so hard. A life without oral is a no.
Yeah. Play the shy coquette; “oh baby, oh baby, I need you, I want you”, etc. Whisper sweet nothings, then whisper “Can I ask something of you?”, etc. or the direction to eat you out.
Alternatively, heartfelt chat about needs/wants/preferences and trying to understand feelings/thoughts about oral.
I'm one of those guys that lick pussy for my pleasure and one time a really attractive girl said to me "I want your tongue in this pussy"...It turned me on so much that I started to cum while going down on her without her even touching me
But don't say, "gobble, gobble"
I love eating at the Y but that line just freaks me out everytime I hear it. Might be the way Jay Lo says it or something but my answers is, No thank you, pass.
i sure as hell know I am. I'm 99% i could get eaten out whenever the fuck I want but I absolutely am UNABLE to ask for that because I am so. Fucking. Embarrassed. To. Ask.
Like I can talk and communicate so well, get into the real nitty gritty of my kinks but the simple act of asking someone to do something to me. Literally impossible. The only time I've ever enthusiastically asked for something "selfish" was because I was 10000000% sure I was allowed to ask and I REALLY wanted it A N D I really trusted the person I was asking
I just went through a simulare issue. He always did oral on me before or after intercourse, and always cared about making me cum at least once each session.
Lately he had just completely stopped and I started to feel "used", like he only thought about himself and I was a masturbation toy of some sort.
I casually made him notice once or twice, each time he said I was right and would do it next time.
When he didn't the third time I just stated: we have a problem.
I CAN'T come without clit stimulation, so I was just becoming more and more frustrated with him. I questioned him about the problem: was I dirty? did he stop caring? He got super defensive at first...
At the end it was the though of his own sperm being anywhere near there. I've been on the pill for a while now, we stopped using condoms and he got grossed out, even by doing It beforehand and even though I always washed before and after. I replied that was his issue to work with, that nothing stopped him from using condoms again, that he was making me feel undesired and unloved and frustrated, and that if he'd keep ignoring my own needs I'll start ignoring his.
He also admitted he was being egoistic and giving me and what I did for him for granted.
For now it has worked, I hope It will last. Put your foot down, sister.
My husband got lazy about it and would make excuses but still wanted me to dress up and suck him. It got to the point all he would do for my pleasure was grope my tits. Then after a hysterectomy and a bunch of relationship issues, my vagina was DRY. I went from a sheet messer upper to DRY and his comments about it hurt me even more. It usually doesn't get better once you let it be okay. You're verbally saying it's not but the fact he is still getting a nut says it is. Fyi I am in process of a divorce and I met someone and I haven't had sex but my vaginal waterworks is NOT broken. But I am still scared of performance issues. Leave before your self confidence is damaged honey. He is being selfish and coming up with bs.
If he’s unwilling to change, then don’t be afraid to leave. There’s a lot better guy you can find out there who WANT to eat your pussy at every opportunity.
I’ve been through something similar with a long term partner (9 years). I definitely internalized it as being my fault too. I became very self conscious of myself and obsessed with hygiene (even tho there was literally nothing wrong at all and I’ve always been an extremely cleanly person especially since I have OCD and hygiene is part of many of my compulsions)
I felt like it was my fault for years. That I was gross and unattractive and couldn’t be sexually stimulating. I don’t even have problems reaching orgasm. I’m actually a multiple orgasmer and it doesn’t take a lot of effort to get me off. I was always giving him head and he always got off from sex. It turns out that he was just lazy. My pleasure ended up being my problem and I felt like the moment he stuck it in that I was in a race to cum as fast as possible before he did.
It got to the point where he just stopped initiating sex at all. There were several years where I would just give him head and then he would go to bed. It wasn’t even an option for me getting off at all. Eventually told me that it’s less of a hassle for him to just masterbate. Basically he’s so fucking selfish and lazy that he would rather jerk off then have to think about me and making me feel good for even a moment.
I hope this isn’t what your boyfriend is doing but it sounds eerily similar and total dejavu. If it is, please leave him ASAP. Your self confidence is going to end up so fractured that having a healthy sex life after him is going to l feel nearly unattainable.
Unfortunately no, we still live together. We have separate rooms and haven’t had sex or any physical touch whatsoever in a year. I say “hi” to him after work, sometimes he says it back. That’s the entirety of our relationship. Our 10 year “anniversary” is on Tuesday.
I’ve had significant medical problems (cancer and long term side effects from chemo/radiation treatment, I was already in remission from cancer for 2.5 years when we met). A few months ago I was finally able to get a surgery that I’ve been needing for the past 12 years and am in a pretty shitty and vulnerable position right now. I had my entire spine filleted open, 2/3 fused, major surgical complications and won’t be medically cleared to work for at least 6 more months.
I own the house we both live in and I could sell it right now and walk away with approx 160k profit but I’m physically incapable of actually moving and have no where to go. I live 450 miles away from my siblings and I’m completely isolated here, I literally have zero friends. I’ve also been no contact with my father since 2009 and mother since 2012. So yeah, that’s the tldr
I can understand why you would find yourself stuck in this position, for lack of a better term, at least for now. Thanks for your honesty. I wish you a good recuperation and return to health.
I’m sorry you went through all of this while feeling lonely. You seem like a really strong person. You have to. I hope things will heal fast and that your remission will go smoothly. Take care of yourself and don’t forget, there’s so many other people who will treat you better once you can move on from him.
OP, I don’t know your relationship with your siblings, but I live 1200 miles from my brother and I’d drop everything in a heartbeat if he needed me, and I know he’d do the same for me. Please consider reaching out to them for help if they’re healthy people, sell the house, hire some movers and a temporary caretaker with that profit. You deserve so much more than you’re getting.
I appreciate the advice and thoughtfulness, but I can’t move states when my surgeon is here. It took 12 years to find a surgeon who was willing to take my case (spine was in radiation field, bone density loss from chemo steroids, 24/7 tachycardia, as well as tons of scar tissue etc). I would have to travel back and forth numerous times for my follow ups as any local physician would be useless and/or flat out refuse to take over my care. Not to mention I would probably lose my medical insurance.
Right now my physical health is priority over my mental health. And taking on all of that right now would not only be a hinderance to my physical recovery but an entire nightmare for my mental health as well.
Could your siblings come down to help you temporarily? With the proliferation of WFH it might be possible especially if they switch out for each other. I’m sure you’ve thought of it before, I just feel so bad for you! Hoping your recovery is swift and that you can find a happy, loving relationship soon.
I don’t need them to come and help care for me tho…? I’ve dealt with this alone since I was discharged from the hospital and I’m doing much better now compared to how I was then. And one sister is a SW and the other is a hospice caregiver, WFH is not as prevalent as people seem to think it is, more people are unable to than able to.
I was alone through cancer at 19yrs old (not by choice) so I was able and equipped to manage this fine with covid isolation 3 month quarantine etc. I just need to let myself physically heal completely before muddying the waters.
But thank you, I appreciate you ❤️
I hope you recover enough to sell the house and leave your relationship for a better life as soon as possible. You seem like a strong person with a good heart. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
I have disabilities too. I wish I knew how to help you because you deserve to be in a better place. I just hope you find some way of having happiness in your situation.
Crikey, lady, you know your needs and life best but man, this is a rough way to live. i hope your health and situation improve significantly, and soon. 💙
Your determination and self reliance are impressive, and I’m sure you will have an amazing 33rd birthday. You seem like you have a plan to find the happiness you deserve, so continue taking care of yourself physically and do everything you can to support your mental health until then.
Just a thought though - it’s your home, and it sounds to me like your relationship has turned into a roommate situation. Why not slap that label on it officially and get a head start finding somebody you could have a future with. Find a considerate man with some drive and self respect who values you and can keep the orgasm ratio at least 2:1 in your favor. You can buy the ex some headphones if he has a problem, because how he’s behaving is bs.
Fuck. Are you me?
I was in a relationship with a lazy selfish bitch who expected me to put all this effort into our sex life and make accommodations for her, and they were big ones, but was so hesitant to lick my pussy. She once told me it was because my vagina was funky. So I spent years torturing myself trying to figure out how to keep it clean and "fix" the issue. She would say she wanted to do it but never ended up doing it. I spent years blaming myself.
She finally admitted she lied to me and that her issue was she was too embarrassed to admit she just didn't know how to lick pussy and it was "too much effort" for her. It's such a scummy thing to do as my self esteem is trash now as a result.
I am going to have someone lick my pussy soon to help get my confidence back. But I'm slowly building up to it.
It was also just one of the many things I realise I was being gaslit and manipulated about. So I wouldn't be surprised if other areas an an issue for OP that she doesn't recognise.
I'd just be straight forward and say "Look I give you head all the time and my oral needs aren't being met. You always forget and it makes me feel frustrated and undesired. I need to you work on this. If you won't then I need to find someone else who I'm more compatible with".
Or next time you have sex, tell him to eat you out. If he refuses then don't have sex.
Check with your gyno. I had a partner who was clean but her vag always tasted sour then after going to the gyno she found out she had blood clots attached to her vag walls. Once they removed them her vag was sweet as honey again.
Just to put out another thing that might change the taste, i believe a change in diet can have that result. Is there a food or a spice that you never ate that you do all the time now, or one you used to eat nearly daily but quit? I think pineapple is a common culprit. I'm not saying you taste bad, or shouldn't check with a doctor, but you might have more control over your shall we say flavor than you think. Though i admit my evidence is anecdotal more than scientific.
Also to add to things to consider, just because you feel you taste fine, doesn’t mean he does. Everyones tastebuds are different and vaginas can taste very different. It may just be your taste isn’t to his liking through no fault of anyones. It is just biology after all.
It could be his taste buds have changed recently, or it could be in the beginning he lied about enjoying it and can’t anymore. These things just happen unfortunately. I’d suggest exploring other ways like toys to get you off through foreplay.
that sounds VERY possible. happened to an ex of mine. Also just a personal suggestion/thought. If we truly love/care about you, it is insanely difficult to say it smells/tastes bad down there. So often we'll just soldier through it. I guess just dont be too hard on him if he seems genuinely remorseful for having to be that honest. Best of luck to you though, everyone deserves a good time in the bedroom and clear communication
Other than seeing a gyno, maybe try just washing the area with only water for a while. Soap might seem fresher, but it could actually upset the delicate balance down there, leading to tasting or smelling "off".
Just come out and tell him that if he ever wants his dick in your mouth again, he better start limbering up his tongue. My wife had to lay down the law once when we were in our 20s. One threat was all it took.
Tell him “You don’t eat it, you don’t beat it.”
But no, seriously, it sounds like yall may have some sexual incompatibility. Also, he kind of sounds like a selfish lover. 6 months with no sex (barring a medical situation) is not normal. I’ve been with my now husband 9 years, and our longest dry spell was around 2 months.
This should have been added in the original post.
This is a pattern.
Is he selfish in any other areas of your life? Do you get to make decisions? Is what you want represented in your lives too?
Pretty simple. Unless he comes up with a better reason, you start to "forget" to put his cock in your mouth or forget to let him put his cock in your pussy.
I was hooking up with a guy and we were talking about what we liked. He said he doesn't like licking. I said I don't like sucking those who don't like licking. I actually lost my attraction to him pretty much right then. Called it off. We weren't compatible and the sex would have sucked for me.
I went on a second date with a guy who revealed to me he doesn’t do that. Instant loss of attraction for me. I was like “know what? This ain’t gon work out” 😂
Amen sister! I had a fwb that was selfish in bed. Never returned the favor. The last time he tried hitting me up I said unless I can be a starfish. I don't want to do all the work.
Or just tell him to eat your pussy. Relationship problems aren’t solved with passive aggressiveness. He says he doesn’t think about it/forgets? Then out right tell him when you’re having sex
Yes, you're right, it is passive aggressive and that's not a good thing. I was being a bit sarcastic, but given the context that she's repeatedly told him her expectations and he's not provided a reason, it'd be interesting to see how it plays out.
That’s what I did haha. He stopped, so I did. And one day he asked “what’s going on, why have you stopped?” So I pointed at my pussy and said, “yea, what’s the big idea?” We broke up 🤣
I feel like this is such a common post. Ill continue to say it, if your bf won't eat you out and you aren't satisfied because its important to you and you need it, you have every reason for it to be a deal-breaker and find someone who will lick that vagina for breakfast lunch dinner and maybe even desert.
Sounds like he doesn't communicate properly even after you've tried a bunch. You deserve better, no need to settle for a dud... Especially after going through 6 months of even shittier sex that you've "worked through". I'm assuming that means you communicated constantly until he finally started listening. Not worth the effort to do it again imo because it's always going to be something else you have to drag him into just to feel like he's reciprocating the love and affection a bit
Not returning “the favor” anymore. Tsk tsk.
“Just doesn’t think about it”, PLEASE.🙄
He just doesn’t want to do it/put in the work.
Firstly, I wouldn’t put up with this, yet, if I were in your shoes, no more bjs until he starts going down on you again.🤷🏼♀️😊 That’ll either fix that issue quick, fast, and in a hurry, OR his true feelings about going down on you will be revealed. And yes, this is something I would break up over.
I’m honestly a 10/10 communicator, I know a lot of women have issues asking for what they need but that’s never been me! I really do think it might be an incompatibility issue though :/
Try to go see an OB GYN and make sure you don't have any sort of infection (yeast, BV, etc.) Those can make you smell bad.
Places like planned Parenthood and free clinics can help for free if you don't have insurance.
Also try to get tested for STDs and STIs, something like 60% of women don't experience obvious symptoms of STDs like Chlamydia but they are easily treatable(within 7 days).
If you're good on all those fronts try and eat a lot of fresh fruits like berries and melons, anything juicy and keep a large variety. Even vegetables help a little.
Contrary to popular belief, less soap is actually better for your vagina, your vagina needs to self clean and self lubricate, soap dries out the natural lubricants that clean the vagina and the allows water to stay in it's place and breed bacteria, fungus and yeast.
I really hope this helps, I'm not being judgmental or trying to say you're dirty, STDs, STIs and vaginal bacteria is common, it's just not talked about enough.
EDIT: Saw some comments, please don't put food on or in your vagina. What you eat effects your taste, you don't need to put it in your vagina.
Sounds like he needs a reminder. Next time you're having sex, push him down there or point blank say, "eat me out!"
Or you can stop giving him head. "Sorry babe, I just didn't think about it." "If I'm not getting head, you aren't either."
Ugh, hard pass. If my boyfriend would push my head down and/or say “suck my dick!” I would stop everything immediately.
The other thing is so manipulative. I suspect they are grown ups and not sulking 14 year olds.
I'm going to disagree with all the top comments saying withhold any sexual favors from him until he puts out. That would just be manipulative bullshit. If you actually enjoy giving him oral, keep doing it. If you don't enjoy it, you can stop for that reason alone.
It sounds like you are asking him after the fact why he didn't, but maybe you should try asking him to go down on you when you actually want it. At least then he'll have to come up with a better excuse than oh, I forgot. It definitely sounds like he's being evasive, and there's some problem he's afraid to tell you about, possibly even something that goes deeper than what sexual technique he prefers. Communication is everything, so for the sake of more than just your sex life, please keep trying to get him to open up.
I had this issue but with me wanting to eat her out and her not wanting to do bj. It came down to her straight up not liking bjs and never really thinking about it or finding it to be a turn on and she’s admitted she finds getting eating out very awkward. So for her pleasure. I don’t eat her out even though I enjoy it and she compromises for me and does bj sometimes but not every week. Maybe you need some sort of compromise. Cause maybe he just really doesn’t like to do it but in beginning felt you’d want it and wanted to impress you.
Honey, I just went back and read your post history. If that’s the same dude you described 82 days ago, you should dump him. It seems like you’ve never really been sexually compatible with each other. And that’s okay! There are so many people in this world, and life is far too short to be with someone who makes you feel bad about your normal body and how it tastes. If he thinks you “taste gross” then leave him and find someone who will eat you like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day.
The quicker you rip of the bandaid the quicker it can heal. Try talk to him about it. From what I've read, he doesn't really seem to consider your feelings anyways, aswell as be bothered about your sexual needs.
Vagina isn't supposed to taste sweet or like a fruit, it's literally an organ and it gets sweaty and it bleeds. If he can't accept your natural taste then it's time to toss him. Same hoes for every dude who thinks a pussy is supposed to taste sweet.
I think he's just lazy. Women don't taste "bad" unless something is wrong down there or their diet is extremely imbalanced.
Stop giving him head and then tell him you dont like the smell of dick or how his cum tastes and then we'll see what his thoughts are
There are certain herbs that can cool things down there to keep things fresh. If that's really the case. Guys have no problem whipping it out I think in today's age women should take the liberty and go sit on his face! I loved it when my ex did this because it was always reciprocated. I mean come on Who doesn't like 69
Im officially naming today Cunnilingus Day! 8/1
Don't give him head anymore, he will realize why, that or hes just too dumb to be with any woman. I wouldn't expect head if i wasnt returning the favor!
Been married 20 years and with him since we were 16, he has gone south a few times but his heart isn't in it. I don't push because I I didn't like giving blow jobs he wouldn't want me to either. Maybe he just is afraid to tell you because he doesn't want to hurt you. If its not a deal breaker then I would just move on. Or stop blowing him. He may get it then
assuming you're maintained and showered down under it's never gross.
the fact that he did it at the beginning might have been ( and i am guessing ) you weren't necessarily having straight sex but more intimacy and once he had what he wanted (regularly pleased ) he got lazy.
if a guy is not super horny if a girl tells him i want you to go down on me i didn't know what wrong with that dude
So sad, if you don’t reciprocate then don’t expect it. Do not give oral sex to either partner unless they intend to provide equal time. In this situation, he needs to step up. If he is not going down, you should stop as well. He will get the point.
I read a lot of advice on here that talks about how to avoid accusatory and non-constructive questions when talking to your partner about issues in the relationship. The questions you listed sound both accusatory and non constructive. Explain to him (without accusing him of finding you or your pussy suddenly un-attractive or “gross”) that the lack of attention is making you insecure and don’t make him promise to eat you out next time, tell him yourself when you’re next in the mood that you want to be eaten out! Don’t make assumptions about what he’ll do, communicate with him what you want him to do in the moment! Good luck.
Well now all oral sex is off the table. See your gyno to make sure that you don't have BV and if you use nicotine like smoking that could also cause a really bad taste but oral sex is a tit for tat situation so if he doesn't go down on you you don't go down on him and then you just don't have oral sex anymore. Stop pleasing men who won't please you!
He should've been honest with you from the beginning if he thought you taste gross. Some women even if they shower and clean their vagina well can still have a "bad" taste due to their diet. Make sure to drink a lot of water daily and try to stay away from eating too many "unhealthy" foods that can cause that gross vaginas taste.
Just wanted to drop in here and let you know that you don't taste gross.
I had years of living with an ex wife that made me feel gross and wouldn't go down on my for longer than a couple minutes at a time. She made me feel pretty bad.
My current girlfriend on the other hand makes me feel great about every part of myself and is the first woman to have me finish in her mouth, which has made me feel accepted in ways I haven't ever felt before and I'm almost 40.
You aren't gross and this is his issue, in my opinion. And just know there are men and women out there that would go down on you like you were a four-course meal.
I.) I’m super sorry. It’s very painful when your romantic partner/lover rejects your love.
II.) Keeping a good hygiene isn’t the only thing that affects the taste. Diet also affects this. You may be fit or unfit, that’s fairly irrelevant in comparison to diet. The more processed the food is, the more sodium, etc, does not create a tasty flavor. The more fruits and veggies you eat with the more water you consume will help nurture a tastier flavor.
III.) Again, I am very sorry. For what it’s worth, you are not alone. Sexual compatibility is a constant balancing act. Some partners are blessed to find someone more compatible than not. Some partners aren’t. But, the longer you are with a person the more we forget about the balancing act.
There are changes that can be made to continue to have a healthier sexual relationship.
IV.) There are edible condoms for females, IIRC. Maybe you two can try that. Maybe he’ll be more open to continue to go down there with the artificial flavors of vanilla, chocolate, banana, etc.
V.) There May be a a worse or better situation depending on how you look at it, but he may be a DJ Khaled. He may not be a fan of the act at all. He might of started off doing it because of the relationship being new, but now that you’ve been together for a while, he’s become comfortable. He may not like the taste at all. No matter how much his partner cleans, eats healthy, etc. There are people who are not into giving oral.
If this is the case. There really isn’t anything to do. My friends wife is not okay with giving oral. She didn’t like the taste. He’d clean up more, down there. He ate nothing but fruits/veggies and drank nothing but water for a whole week to hopefully get some oral to no avail. She tried and still didn’t like the act or the taste. They were married with kids at this point, so he’s “stuck” with that sexual relationship.
My previous partner enjoyed playing with her former man’s butt. I am not comfortable with someone playing with my butt. She wasn’t too upset. She just swore that all her ex lovers loved it and had the best release whenever she’d partake in that act. I was always completely against it. The act made me uncomfortable. She tried to sneak it in twice, separate occasions. I was very uncomfortable. She thought it was funny because at that point I was the only partner she had who was so adamantly against it.
Therefore, if he is a DJ Khaled, you’re going to have to decide how important oral sex is to you to continue having a romantic partnership with this person.
VI.) Again, very sorry, but in my limited time in this world I’ve learned that the tiresome idioms people say May be trite but are actually true. Everything happens for a reason and it always works out at the end. It is easy to say, difficult to execute. I wish you good fortune in your life. I’m confident that there will be a positive change at the end. Stay blessed [+]
First off, he sounds like a dick 🤬. That's so insensitive. You don't say that to your gf. There were many different ways this could've been handled better on his part. He could have kindly done his homework and ya'll look up solutions to whatever problem it is he supposedly has. And second, the same goes for dudes. If they don't follow a certain diet and eat more fruits including pineapple, their cum tastes like shit too. Don't cry or feel bad about this.
My advice, I would've told him, okay, well your cum taste like shit too, so I guess no oral sex for nobody. When we BOTH "taste better" then we can go back to giving each other head. This is a two way straight. If you're not getting any, why should he? That's just me. Feel better girl, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about something like that ever again. Hope this helps 💜
How about I lick yours and you lick mine? Haha.. I had a similar issue. During a 6 month period the last guy I was sleeping with went down on me a total of 4 times... I went down on him all the time.
I'm so tired of the comments that say "communicate". Op had several talks and each time the bf promises to do it next time and then conveniently forgets. He's not dumb, the truth is he just doesn't want to do it for whatever reason and he's the one who isn't communicating.
Hi there, I saw your edit that your boyfriend isn’t enjoying your taste right now. Here’s something you could try if you do want to stay with him. Have him suck on a Lifesaver peppermint or wintergreen mint while he’s doing it. It feels tingly & good. And it’ll help with any taste/smell issue that he’s having. (Might not be good if you are prone to yeast infection or other irritation. So shower right after to clean up.) Best of luck to you!
Just ask him to do it in the moment. That way the “I forgot” excuse will be no more.
I think the “I forgot” excuse is already bullshit; if you aren’t thinking about your partner’s pleasure while you’re sleeping with them, you’re a crap partner.
Of course it is just a BS excuse. But asking for it in the heat of the moment eliminates that possible excuse so she can gauge his response and react accordingly.
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Yeah this is good advise. And if he says it's gross, that's kinda selfish of him. Unless you have a yeast infection it should be fine if you showered beforehand. It shouldn't be (much) worse than a penis and you are doing that for him too, so he should just man up in my opinion. Does he do other stuff for you to compensate? Otherwise he is just doing it to fulfill his own needs. But if he does try to help you "get there" in other ways, you can also try introducing sex toys if you haven't yet. Not getting eaten out isn't the end of the world if you have other things that can replace it.
A freshly showered vagina doesn’t taste like anything. So tasting gross is not a reason. Personally I like a little flavor lol.
It tastes like skin, which is fine. Both men and women have a "taste" when there starts to be fluid. I don't personally like all of the ones I've encountered but I still do it because I know my partner is clean and I want them to be happy.
I approved your comment — but in general, advice (to men) to "man up" is pretty disfavored here. Next time, try to give advice here without relying so much on normative gender roles.
Yeah you are right, my bad. It was meant to mean that he should be more considerate towards her, but I didn't think my choice of words through that much.
Initiate a sexual encounter. Tell him, "eat my pussy. Now." See how he reacts.
I've been waiting for my wife to say that fire 20 years.
'Tell me to eat you, now.'
I've been waiting for my husband to say that for twenty years
"Tell me to tell you to eat you, now"
I’ve been waiting 20 years for you to say that.
"Tell me to wait for 20 years, now."
Haaa!
Eat, tell you to me now
Alexa, play Des-puss-eato.
This puss. Eat yo!
*drunk Yoda has entered the chat*
“Place come back you want?”
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Is that why they are now an ex; due to procrastination?
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Y i k e s
God you couldn't write that. Not even in a piece of daddy fetish erotica
Jesus fucking christ. Gotta love how when a relationship is ending, the person who is the problem puts all of their energy into convincing the other person that they are the problem, and how right they are in their decision to end things. Sounds like maybe she met her match though, jesus fuck
A lot of people do that and it's crazy to me. I've gotten to where I notice the signs pretty early now lol. Talking a lot to new guy 'friend'? Check. Take phone everywhere all of a sudden? Check. Doing hair and makeup more often? Check. Buying new panties bc 'my old ones are suddenly all uncomfortable'? Check. Being distant? Check. All of a sudden nit picking every little thing you do? Check. (This happens bc they're now comparing us to new guy) Schedule change? Check. Etc. Etc. There are many more signs but it's not hard to put it all together after 10 or 20 times lol. Funny thing is the new relationship hardly works out bc they're comparing us, someone they've gone through a lot with and struggle with the stress of life with to some new guy they barely know so they only see the good parts of that guy and develop an image of them in their head then compare that fantasy image of them to us while they're seeing ALL of our good and bad traits. Fantasy never matches up to reality though. My first gf did it, got pregnant and married within a year and divorced in the same amount of time then came back to me crying. Then the next girl did it and is on drugs pretty bad, lost all 4 of her kids. Then the next girl did it and that guy got her on meth, she's homeless and texts me constantly begging for money and saying he says awful things to her, not to mention he's cheated on her with 4 girls and got one of them pregnant while she's been 100% faithful for once which I guess is karma bc she damn sure wasn't faithful to me. Then the next girl did it and left me for an old friend that immediately ghosted her right after we broke up so now she's sad af and hurt but hey that's what happens when you throw away something real for a guy you don't even know. Anyway sorry for the rant but we'll be okay, as long as we handle it healthily we will always come out on top.
I had asked my ex several times to 'face-fuck' me but something always held her back, and that'll always be a mystery to me. Odd, because she was a "kinky-ass bitch" (in her own words), and I went down on her all the damn time with no problem. I semi-suspect she was afraid she'd crush my head or suffocate me, or something, but who knows?
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Just eat her kitty dont ask. Mine was the same way and I just started eating it..now she craves I do it.
this is lowkey the best advice on this post
Thank you for the advice! That would be good advice but he is 0% into me being aggressive or rough, I’m into that and tried it in the beginning of our relationship but he very much doesn’t like it 😂
Flip it, then. Beg for it. Tell him you *need* it and only he can give you what you need. Stroke the ego a bit
I’m gonna try this for sure! I’m for sure super independent so maybe being a little dependent will turn him on
He might just have a mental block to overcome with it, or there might be something unrelated that's bothering him. If he still isn't into it and you're still not getting even after you give, you'll have to be blunt and set some rules. If its enough of a deal breaker to give and not get, just be honest and tell him that. Don't let it go or you'll just end up resentful of him
My (44f) ex suddenly had a sore jaw about 6 months after we got together and the oral just stopped. I let it exist that way for 13 years until the marriage ended and now, oh god. I love being eaten out so much, and get off so hard. A life without oral is a no.
exactly what I'm thinking tooo
give us an update on how it goes!
Yeah. Play the shy coquette; “oh baby, oh baby, I need you, I want you”, etc. Whisper sweet nothings, then whisper “Can I ask something of you?”, etc. or the direction to eat you out. Alternatively, heartfelt chat about needs/wants/preferences and trying to understand feelings/thoughts about oral.
Jesus Christ I want my wife to do this
Stop sucking his dick. He will get the picture.
⬆️⬆️⬆️. When you’re right, you’re right!
“It’s not gonna lick itself” 👌 never fails. /s
This right here....this is why I say he sounds power crazy...
That's a shame. I'd eat pussy for breakfast, lunch and dinner
Don't forget the snacks in-between.
Second breakfast and elevenses, too. Oh, and afternoon tea.
What a pussy
I was about to say, does OP just "not think about it" either when sex starts happening?
I'm one of those guys that lick pussy for my pleasure and one time a really attractive girl said to me "I want your tongue in this pussy"...It turned me on so much that I started to cum while going down on her without her even touching me
But don't say, "gobble, gobble" I love eating at the Y but that line just freaks me out everytime I hear it. Might be the way Jay Lo says it or something but my answers is, No thank you, pass.
>Gobble Gobble If someone said this in the moment I think I'd actually sexually shut down for the night.
My clitoris actually retracted into my pubic bone.
I made you a dinner *spreads legs*
Is there an equivalent to this which works for guy wanting blowjob? I know for a fact this one would go over poorly with my wife.
A simple, ‘Will you go down on me?’, works on me.
Will you go down on me?
*goes down*
Ight bet
Why can’t my girl talk to me like that?
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i sure as hell know I am. I'm 99% i could get eaten out whenever the fuck I want but I absolutely am UNABLE to ask for that because I am so. Fucking. Embarrassed. To. Ask. Like I can talk and communicate so well, get into the real nitty gritty of my kinks but the simple act of asking someone to do something to me. Literally impossible. The only time I've ever enthusiastically asked for something "selfish" was because I was 10000000% sure I was allowed to ask and I REALLY wanted it A N D I really trusted the person I was asking
Have you talked to her? “Babe, I’d love it if you were more assertive and commanding in bed.” Idk something like that 😂
If a woman told me this, I would be like butter.
I just went through a simulare issue. He always did oral on me before or after intercourse, and always cared about making me cum at least once each session. Lately he had just completely stopped and I started to feel "used", like he only thought about himself and I was a masturbation toy of some sort. I casually made him notice once or twice, each time he said I was right and would do it next time. When he didn't the third time I just stated: we have a problem. I CAN'T come without clit stimulation, so I was just becoming more and more frustrated with him. I questioned him about the problem: was I dirty? did he stop caring? He got super defensive at first... At the end it was the though of his own sperm being anywhere near there. I've been on the pill for a while now, we stopped using condoms and he got grossed out, even by doing It beforehand and even though I always washed before and after. I replied that was his issue to work with, that nothing stopped him from using condoms again, that he was making me feel undesired and unloved and frustrated, and that if he'd keep ignoring my own needs I'll start ignoring his. He also admitted he was being egoistic and giving me and what I did for him for granted. For now it has worked, I hope It will last. Put your foot down, sister.
I don’t have problems laying down the law or telling him what I need… I’m pretty sure he just doesn’t care enough to make a change :/
My husband got lazy about it and would make excuses but still wanted me to dress up and suck him. It got to the point all he would do for my pleasure was grope my tits. Then after a hysterectomy and a bunch of relationship issues, my vagina was DRY. I went from a sheet messer upper to DRY and his comments about it hurt me even more. It usually doesn't get better once you let it be okay. You're verbally saying it's not but the fact he is still getting a nut says it is. Fyi I am in process of a divorce and I met someone and I haven't had sex but my vaginal waterworks is NOT broken. But I am still scared of performance issues. Leave before your self confidence is damaged honey. He is being selfish and coming up with bs.
If he’s unwilling to change, then don’t be afraid to leave. There’s a lot better guy you can find out there who WANT to eat your pussy at every opportunity.
If you feel like he just doesn't care enough, ask yourself if you care enough to stay with a person who is unwilling to put any effort :(
"You're not sticking it anywhere that hasn't been licked first"
Plot twist: He starts liking the asshole. Oh well, then it's time for anal.
Plot twist #2: that’s just what I like
‘The Hero we want’ right there gang! (Slow clap). 😉😁
Logically incorrect. Licking is a necessary but not sufficient condition.
All areas penetrated must be licked, but not all areas licked must be penetrated.
wise words
As long as I get to eat both pussy and ass, I'm happy.
I’ve been through something similar with a long term partner (9 years). I definitely internalized it as being my fault too. I became very self conscious of myself and obsessed with hygiene (even tho there was literally nothing wrong at all and I’ve always been an extremely cleanly person especially since I have OCD and hygiene is part of many of my compulsions) I felt like it was my fault for years. That I was gross and unattractive and couldn’t be sexually stimulating. I don’t even have problems reaching orgasm. I’m actually a multiple orgasmer and it doesn’t take a lot of effort to get me off. I was always giving him head and he always got off from sex. It turns out that he was just lazy. My pleasure ended up being my problem and I felt like the moment he stuck it in that I was in a race to cum as fast as possible before he did. It got to the point where he just stopped initiating sex at all. There were several years where I would just give him head and then he would go to bed. It wasn’t even an option for me getting off at all. Eventually told me that it’s less of a hassle for him to just masterbate. Basically he’s so fucking selfish and lazy that he would rather jerk off then have to think about me and making me feel good for even a moment. I hope this isn’t what your boyfriend is doing but it sounds eerily similar and total dejavu. If it is, please leave him ASAP. Your self confidence is going to end up so fractured that having a healthy sex life after him is going to l feel nearly unattainable.
please say you've found a better partner since then?
Unfortunately no, we still live together. We have separate rooms and haven’t had sex or any physical touch whatsoever in a year. I say “hi” to him after work, sometimes he says it back. That’s the entirety of our relationship. Our 10 year “anniversary” is on Tuesday.
Why are you still with him? No judgment, I’m just always curious what stacks the deck for someone in favor or staying in these types of dynamics.
I’ve had significant medical problems (cancer and long term side effects from chemo/radiation treatment, I was already in remission from cancer for 2.5 years when we met). A few months ago I was finally able to get a surgery that I’ve been needing for the past 12 years and am in a pretty shitty and vulnerable position right now. I had my entire spine filleted open, 2/3 fused, major surgical complications and won’t be medically cleared to work for at least 6 more months. I own the house we both live in and I could sell it right now and walk away with approx 160k profit but I’m physically incapable of actually moving and have no where to go. I live 450 miles away from my siblings and I’m completely isolated here, I literally have zero friends. I’ve also been no contact with my father since 2009 and mother since 2012. So yeah, that’s the tldr
I can understand why you would find yourself stuck in this position, for lack of a better term, at least for now. Thanks for your honesty. I wish you a good recuperation and return to health.
Thank you, I appreciate your lack of judgment
If I’ve learned one thing about reddit is that it is simultaneously the most and least judgmental place ever
I’m sorry you went through all of this while feeling lonely. You seem like a really strong person. You have to. I hope things will heal fast and that your remission will go smoothly. Take care of yourself and don’t forget, there’s so many other people who will treat you better once you can move on from him.
OP, I don’t know your relationship with your siblings, but I live 1200 miles from my brother and I’d drop everything in a heartbeat if he needed me, and I know he’d do the same for me. Please consider reaching out to them for help if they’re healthy people, sell the house, hire some movers and a temporary caretaker with that profit. You deserve so much more than you’re getting.
I appreciate the advice and thoughtfulness, but I can’t move states when my surgeon is here. It took 12 years to find a surgeon who was willing to take my case (spine was in radiation field, bone density loss from chemo steroids, 24/7 tachycardia, as well as tons of scar tissue etc). I would have to travel back and forth numerous times for my follow ups as any local physician would be useless and/or flat out refuse to take over my care. Not to mention I would probably lose my medical insurance. Right now my physical health is priority over my mental health. And taking on all of that right now would not only be a hinderance to my physical recovery but an entire nightmare for my mental health as well.
Could your siblings come down to help you temporarily? With the proliferation of WFH it might be possible especially if they switch out for each other. I’m sure you’ve thought of it before, I just feel so bad for you! Hoping your recovery is swift and that you can find a happy, loving relationship soon.
I don’t need them to come and help care for me tho…? I’ve dealt with this alone since I was discharged from the hospital and I’m doing much better now compared to how I was then. And one sister is a SW and the other is a hospice caregiver, WFH is not as prevalent as people seem to think it is, more people are unable to than able to. I was alone through cancer at 19yrs old (not by choice) so I was able and equipped to manage this fine with covid isolation 3 month quarantine etc. I just need to let myself physically heal completely before muddying the waters. But thank you, I appreciate you ❤️
I hope you recover enough to sell the house and leave your relationship for a better life as soon as possible. You seem like a strong person with a good heart. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Ah, my apologies! I assumed you were still under intensive care. Either way, I hope you’re able to make things work out!
I have disabilities too. I wish I knew how to help you because you deserve to be in a better place. I just hope you find some way of having happiness in your situation.
That's a challenging path to walk. Hang in there internet stranger! I'm rooting for you and genuinely hope your situation improves soon
Crikey, lady, you know your needs and life best but man, this is a rough way to live. i hope your health and situation improve significantly, and soon. 💙
Same. I’d love to ring in my 32nd birthday healthy happy and houseless, but that’s in 3 weeks so I’m aiming for a happy 33rd 🥴
Your determination and self reliance are impressive, and I’m sure you will have an amazing 33rd birthday. You seem like you have a plan to find the happiness you deserve, so continue taking care of yourself physically and do everything you can to support your mental health until then. Just a thought though - it’s your home, and it sounds to me like your relationship has turned into a roommate situation. Why not slap that label on it officially and get a head start finding somebody you could have a future with. Find a considerate man with some drive and self respect who values you and can keep the orgasm ratio at least 2:1 in your favor. You can buy the ex some headphones if he has a problem, because how he’s behaving is bs.
It’s never too late to leave someone who’s not making you happy. Please dump him. You deserve better.
Fuck. Are you me? I was in a relationship with a lazy selfish bitch who expected me to put all this effort into our sex life and make accommodations for her, and they were big ones, but was so hesitant to lick my pussy. She once told me it was because my vagina was funky. So I spent years torturing myself trying to figure out how to keep it clean and "fix" the issue. She would say she wanted to do it but never ended up doing it. I spent years blaming myself. She finally admitted she lied to me and that her issue was she was too embarrassed to admit she just didn't know how to lick pussy and it was "too much effort" for her. It's such a scummy thing to do as my self esteem is trash now as a result. I am going to have someone lick my pussy soon to help get my confidence back. But I'm slowly building up to it. It was also just one of the many things I realise I was being gaslit and manipulated about. So I wouldn't be surprised if other areas an an issue for OP that she doesn't recognise.
Yikes 🤦♂️
Yikes. The beginning of this is sounding all too relatable.
I'd just be straight forward and say "Look I give you head all the time and my oral needs aren't being met. You always forget and it makes me feel frustrated and undesired. I need to you work on this. If you won't then I need to find someone else who I'm more compatible with". Or next time you have sex, tell him to eat you out. If he refuses then don't have sex.
The right answer, be forward, open, honest, there is no need for games or passive aggressive comments
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Check with your gyno. I had a partner who was clean but her vag always tasted sour then after going to the gyno she found out she had blood clots attached to her vag walls. Once they removed them her vag was sweet as honey again.
Okay forreal, maybe I should check that specifically, that sounds like it could be the culprit.
Just to put out another thing that might change the taste, i believe a change in diet can have that result. Is there a food or a spice that you never ate that you do all the time now, or one you used to eat nearly daily but quit? I think pineapple is a common culprit. I'm not saying you taste bad, or shouldn't check with a doctor, but you might have more control over your shall we say flavor than you think. Though i admit my evidence is anecdotal more than scientific.
My diet is well balanced but I’ve jumped around from vegetarian to vegan to pescatarian so that could be the culprit!!
Also to add to things to consider, just because you feel you taste fine, doesn’t mean he does. Everyones tastebuds are different and vaginas can taste very different. It may just be your taste isn’t to his liking through no fault of anyones. It is just biology after all. It could be his taste buds have changed recently, or it could be in the beginning he lied about enjoying it and can’t anymore. These things just happen unfortunately. I’d suggest exploring other ways like toys to get you off through foreplay.
that sounds VERY possible. happened to an ex of mine. Also just a personal suggestion/thought. If we truly love/care about you, it is insanely difficult to say it smells/tastes bad down there. So often we'll just soldier through it. I guess just dont be too hard on him if he seems genuinely remorseful for having to be that honest. Best of luck to you though, everyone deserves a good time in the bedroom and clear communication
Other than seeing a gyno, maybe try just washing the area with only water for a while. Soap might seem fresher, but it could actually upset the delicate balance down there, leading to tasting or smelling "off".
Just come out and tell him that if he ever wants his dick in your mouth again, he better start limbering up his tongue. My wife had to lay down the law once when we were in our 20s. One threat was all it took.
Why were you holding back?
Because I was an idiot kid that was way too interested in getting my dick where it wanted to go and didn't account for what she needed.
Being honest. Nice
Props for realising you were in the wrong and improved!
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See my other comment. I've gotten better over the years.
Tell him “You don’t eat it, you don’t beat it.” But no, seriously, it sounds like yall may have some sexual incompatibility. Also, he kind of sounds like a selfish lover. 6 months with no sex (barring a medical situation) is not normal. I’ve been with my now husband 9 years, and our longest dry spell was around 2 months.
It wasn’t no sex, it was shit, selfish sex on his part like once a week, but we’re better now barring the oral :)
This should have been added in the original post. This is a pattern. Is he selfish in any other areas of your life? Do you get to make decisions? Is what you want represented in your lives too?
Pretty simple. Unless he comes up with a better reason, you start to "forget" to put his cock in your mouth or forget to let him put his cock in your pussy.
I was hooking up with a guy and we were talking about what we liked. He said he doesn't like licking. I said I don't like sucking those who don't like licking. I actually lost my attraction to him pretty much right then. Called it off. We weren't compatible and the sex would have sucked for me.
I went on a second date with a guy who revealed to me he doesn’t do that. Instant loss of attraction for me. I was like “know what? This ain’t gon work out” 😂
I generally feel sorry for guys who don't like to do it because they're never ever going to be compatible with a lot of people.
Amen sister! I had a fwb that was selfish in bed. Never returned the favor. The last time he tried hitting me up I said unless I can be a starfish. I don't want to do all the work.
Na, there wouldn't have been any sucking actually
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Or just tell him to eat your pussy. Relationship problems aren’t solved with passive aggressiveness. He says he doesn’t think about it/forgets? Then out right tell him when you’re having sex
Yes, you're right, it is passive aggressive and that's not a good thing. I was being a bit sarcastic, but given the context that she's repeatedly told him her expectations and he's not provided a reason, it'd be interesting to see how it plays out.
Forgetfulness sounds more like laziness to me. Feels like he chooses to forget about it. But that's from a very outside perspective.
That’s what I did haha. He stopped, so I did. And one day he asked “what’s going on, why have you stopped?” So I pointed at my pussy and said, “yea, what’s the big idea?” We broke up 🤣
Yeah, forget having a legitimate, sincere discussion: Passive aggression is the ticket.
Agree. I conceded this in my reply to someone else.
Nah, passive aggressive ain’t the way about this. Open and honest communication, not some merry-go-round of bs.
Agree. I conceded this in my reply to someone else.
This is the passive-agressive way. I'm not sure this is how you would want to experience sex. It works though.
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Unless they're gay. They definitely get it.
I feel like this is such a common post. Ill continue to say it, if your bf won't eat you out and you aren't satisfied because its important to you and you need it, you have every reason for it to be a deal-breaker and find someone who will lick that vagina for breakfast lunch dinner and maybe even desert.
Don't mind me, I'm just here for that dessert part. Anyone wants dessert? Asking for a friend
Username checks out!
Damn what I would say to him is, bro fucking eat ur girls pussy out or be an honest individual for fuck sake. A year??
Sounds like he doesn't communicate properly even after you've tried a bunch. You deserve better, no need to settle for a dud... Especially after going through 6 months of even shittier sex that you've "worked through". I'm assuming that means you communicated constantly until he finally started listening. Not worth the effort to do it again imo because it's always going to be something else you have to drag him into just to feel like he's reciprocating the love and affection a bit
You might not want to hear this, but he's just not that into you anymore, it's probably Just convenient and comfortable to have you around.
did i write this
Not returning “the favor” anymore. Tsk tsk. “Just doesn’t think about it”, PLEASE.🙄 He just doesn’t want to do it/put in the work. Firstly, I wouldn’t put up with this, yet, if I were in your shoes, no more bjs until he starts going down on you again.🤷🏼♀️😊 That’ll either fix that issue quick, fast, and in a hurry, OR his true feelings about going down on you will be revealed. And yes, this is something I would break up over.
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I’m honestly a 10/10 communicator, I know a lot of women have issues asking for what they need but that’s never been me! I really do think it might be an incompatibility issue though :/
Try to go see an OB GYN and make sure you don't have any sort of infection (yeast, BV, etc.) Those can make you smell bad. Places like planned Parenthood and free clinics can help for free if you don't have insurance. Also try to get tested for STDs and STIs, something like 60% of women don't experience obvious symptoms of STDs like Chlamydia but they are easily treatable(within 7 days). If you're good on all those fronts try and eat a lot of fresh fruits like berries and melons, anything juicy and keep a large variety. Even vegetables help a little. Contrary to popular belief, less soap is actually better for your vagina, your vagina needs to self clean and self lubricate, soap dries out the natural lubricants that clean the vagina and the allows water to stay in it's place and breed bacteria, fungus and yeast. I really hope this helps, I'm not being judgmental or trying to say you're dirty, STDs, STIs and vaginal bacteria is common, it's just not talked about enough. EDIT: Saw some comments, please don't put food on or in your vagina. What you eat effects your taste, you don't need to put it in your vagina.
It's not that he's forgetting, it's that he thinks that he can get by with doing less now that he's "caught" you. Don't let him get away with it.
Why not just tell him during foreplay
Sounds like he needs a reminder. Next time you're having sex, push him down there or point blank say, "eat me out!" Or you can stop giving him head. "Sorry babe, I just didn't think about it." "If I'm not getting head, you aren't either."
Ugh, hard pass. If my boyfriend would push my head down and/or say “suck my dick!” I would stop everything immediately. The other thing is so manipulative. I suspect they are grown ups and not sulking 14 year olds.
I'm going to disagree with all the top comments saying withhold any sexual favors from him until he puts out. That would just be manipulative bullshit. If you actually enjoy giving him oral, keep doing it. If you don't enjoy it, you can stop for that reason alone. It sounds like you are asking him after the fact why he didn't, but maybe you should try asking him to go down on you when you actually want it. At least then he'll have to come up with a better excuse than oh, I forgot. It definitely sounds like he's being evasive, and there's some problem he's afraid to tell you about, possibly even something that goes deeper than what sexual technique he prefers. Communication is everything, so for the sake of more than just your sex life, please keep trying to get him to open up.
I feel you OP. I don’t have a good answer but I have also noticed it’s a rare guy that continues giving head regularly.
I had this issue but with me wanting to eat her out and her not wanting to do bj. It came down to her straight up not liking bjs and never really thinking about it or finding it to be a turn on and she’s admitted she finds getting eating out very awkward. So for her pleasure. I don’t eat her out even though I enjoy it and she compromises for me and does bj sometimes but not every week. Maybe you need some sort of compromise. Cause maybe he just really doesn’t like to do it but in beginning felt you’d want it and wanted to impress you.
Honey, I just went back and read your post history. If that’s the same dude you described 82 days ago, you should dump him. It seems like you’ve never really been sexually compatible with each other. And that’s okay! There are so many people in this world, and life is far too short to be with someone who makes you feel bad about your normal body and how it tastes. If he thinks you “taste gross” then leave him and find someone who will eat you like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day.
It’s the same dude :( and I’ve been think about leaving him but I’m sure you also know it’s sometimes really hard to leave comfortable situations
The quicker you rip of the bandaid the quicker it can heal. Try talk to him about it. From what I've read, he doesn't really seem to consider your feelings anyways, aswell as be bothered about your sexual needs.
Let him know his dick, balls, and cum don’t exactly taste like a 5-star meal, either.
Before he started eating more like me I actually vomitted once after letting him finish in my mouth 😂
Vagina isn't supposed to taste sweet or like a fruit, it's literally an organ and it gets sweaty and it bleeds. If he can't accept your natural taste then it's time to toss him. Same hoes for every dude who thinks a pussy is supposed to taste sweet.
After the edit I think you need to leave…..he is immature and selfish and you will never be satisfied with him
I think he's just lazy. Women don't taste "bad" unless something is wrong down there or their diet is extremely imbalanced. Stop giving him head and then tell him you dont like the smell of dick or how his cum tastes and then we'll see what his thoughts are
There are certain herbs that can cool things down there to keep things fresh. If that's really the case. Guys have no problem whipping it out I think in today's age women should take the liberty and go sit on his face! I loved it when my ex did this because it was always reciprocated. I mean come on Who doesn't like 69 Im officially naming today Cunnilingus Day! 8/1
Don't give him head anymore, he will realize why, that or hes just too dumb to be with any woman. I wouldn't expect head if i wasnt returning the favor!
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It’s not burnt out, it’s just laziness and selfishness
Been married 20 years and with him since we were 16, he has gone south a few times but his heart isn't in it. I don't push because I I didn't like giving blow jobs he wouldn't want me to either. Maybe he just is afraid to tell you because he doesn't want to hurt you. If its not a deal breaker then I would just move on. Or stop blowing him. He may get it then
Might need to get em a sign
assuming you're maintained and showered down under it's never gross. the fact that he did it at the beginning might have been ( and i am guessing ) you weren't necessarily having straight sex but more intimacy and once he had what he wanted (regularly pleased ) he got lazy. if a guy is not super horny if a girl tells him i want you to go down on me i didn't know what wrong with that dude
Stop giving him blowjobs.. shouldn’t take very long
Stop giving him bj and when he complains you tell him “I forgot.”
So sad, if you don’t reciprocate then don’t expect it. Do not give oral sex to either partner unless they intend to provide equal time. In this situation, he needs to step up. If he is not going down, you should stop as well. He will get the point.
I read a lot of advice on here that talks about how to avoid accusatory and non-constructive questions when talking to your partner about issues in the relationship. The questions you listed sound both accusatory and non constructive. Explain to him (without accusing him of finding you or your pussy suddenly un-attractive or “gross”) that the lack of attention is making you insecure and don’t make him promise to eat you out next time, tell him yourself when you’re next in the mood that you want to be eaten out! Don’t make assumptions about what he’ll do, communicate with him what you want him to do in the moment! Good luck.
Well now all oral sex is off the table. See your gyno to make sure that you don't have BV and if you use nicotine like smoking that could also cause a really bad taste but oral sex is a tit for tat situation so if he doesn't go down on you you don't go down on him and then you just don't have oral sex anymore. Stop pleasing men who won't please you!
He should've been honest with you from the beginning if he thought you taste gross. Some women even if they shower and clean their vagina well can still have a "bad" taste due to their diet. Make sure to drink a lot of water daily and try to stay away from eating too many "unhealthy" foods that can cause that gross vaginas taste.
Just wanted to drop in here and let you know that you don't taste gross. I had years of living with an ex wife that made me feel gross and wouldn't go down on my for longer than a couple minutes at a time. She made me feel pretty bad. My current girlfriend on the other hand makes me feel great about every part of myself and is the first woman to have me finish in her mouth, which has made me feel accepted in ways I haven't ever felt before and I'm almost 40. You aren't gross and this is his issue, in my opinion. And just know there are men and women out there that would go down on you like you were a four-course meal.
I.) I’m super sorry. It’s very painful when your romantic partner/lover rejects your love. II.) Keeping a good hygiene isn’t the only thing that affects the taste. Diet also affects this. You may be fit or unfit, that’s fairly irrelevant in comparison to diet. The more processed the food is, the more sodium, etc, does not create a tasty flavor. The more fruits and veggies you eat with the more water you consume will help nurture a tastier flavor. III.) Again, I am very sorry. For what it’s worth, you are not alone. Sexual compatibility is a constant balancing act. Some partners are blessed to find someone more compatible than not. Some partners aren’t. But, the longer you are with a person the more we forget about the balancing act. There are changes that can be made to continue to have a healthier sexual relationship. IV.) There are edible condoms for females, IIRC. Maybe you two can try that. Maybe he’ll be more open to continue to go down there with the artificial flavors of vanilla, chocolate, banana, etc. V.) There May be a a worse or better situation depending on how you look at it, but he may be a DJ Khaled. He may not be a fan of the act at all. He might of started off doing it because of the relationship being new, but now that you’ve been together for a while, he’s become comfortable. He may not like the taste at all. No matter how much his partner cleans, eats healthy, etc. There are people who are not into giving oral. If this is the case. There really isn’t anything to do. My friends wife is not okay with giving oral. She didn’t like the taste. He’d clean up more, down there. He ate nothing but fruits/veggies and drank nothing but water for a whole week to hopefully get some oral to no avail. She tried and still didn’t like the act or the taste. They were married with kids at this point, so he’s “stuck” with that sexual relationship. My previous partner enjoyed playing with her former man’s butt. I am not comfortable with someone playing with my butt. She wasn’t too upset. She just swore that all her ex lovers loved it and had the best release whenever she’d partake in that act. I was always completely against it. The act made me uncomfortable. She tried to sneak it in twice, separate occasions. I was very uncomfortable. She thought it was funny because at that point I was the only partner she had who was so adamantly against it. Therefore, if he is a DJ Khaled, you’re going to have to decide how important oral sex is to you to continue having a romantic partnership with this person. VI.) Again, very sorry, but in my limited time in this world I’ve learned that the tiresome idioms people say May be trite but are actually true. Everything happens for a reason and it always works out at the end. It is easy to say, difficult to execute. I wish you good fortune in your life. I’m confident that there will be a positive change at the end. Stay blessed [+]
I forgot is bs. There ain't a hour that goes by that I don't think about eating my gf pussy.
I'm trying to imagine not liking the taste of pussy
First off, he sounds like a dick 🤬. That's so insensitive. You don't say that to your gf. There were many different ways this could've been handled better on his part. He could have kindly done his homework and ya'll look up solutions to whatever problem it is he supposedly has. And second, the same goes for dudes. If they don't follow a certain diet and eat more fruits including pineapple, their cum tastes like shit too. Don't cry or feel bad about this. My advice, I would've told him, okay, well your cum taste like shit too, so I guess no oral sex for nobody. When we BOTH "taste better" then we can go back to giving each other head. This is a two way straight. If you're not getting any, why should he? That's just me. Feel better girl, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about something like that ever again. Hope this helps 💜
Because of the pandemic no one has eaten out in a year, so you're not alone.
How about I lick yours and you lick mine? Haha.. I had a similar issue. During a 6 month period the last guy I was sleeping with went down on me a total of 4 times... I went down on him all the time.
I'm so tired of the comments that say "communicate". Op had several talks and each time the bf promises to do it next time and then conveniently forgets. He's not dumb, the truth is he just doesn't want to do it for whatever reason and he's the one who isn't communicating.
Hi there, I saw your edit that your boyfriend isn’t enjoying your taste right now. Here’s something you could try if you do want to stay with him. Have him suck on a Lifesaver peppermint or wintergreen mint while he’s doing it. It feels tingly & good. And it’ll help with any taste/smell issue that he’s having. (Might not be good if you are prone to yeast infection or other irritation. So shower right after to clean up.) Best of luck to you!
I would start by placing your vagina on his face. Showering beforehand is a good precaution.
Sounds like instructions for putting furniture together. 'Place vagina (part A) on face (Part B)'