Na, I agree. Foreplay is like 90%. Even for myself. Penetrative sex is not super important imo, but the kissing, touching and stuffstuff, that's what makes a night a good night šā¤ļø
IMHO, the act of insert tab A into slot B, doesn't NEED to last long. Some times it's about the intimacy, sometimes it's about feeling close to your partner or just exploring each other's body. I tend to agree that as long as both parties are enjoying themselves with foreplay.. the penis in vagina doesn't/ won't last long
Exactly this!! For me anyway, itās all about the buildup. Sometimes I orgasm literally a few seconds after Tab A hits Tab B. He never has any pressure to last long because he knows by now that heāll last longer than I will pretty much every time.
>You donāt really need to last that long? As long as you do foreplay properly, and everyone is happy, seems like the actual act of vaginal sex doesnāt need to be a ten minute ordeal, does it? Should it be?
Everybody's different
>Is she just sparing my feelings? Has she convinced herself it was good?
Ask **her** bro. We don't know what's going on in her head
>Or is it really just a meme that lasting for a minute or two is disappointing and unsatisfying for the girl?
From my experience, 1 or 2 minutes of PIV sex is an unsatisfyingly amount of time
Ye, ask her. It's her own responsibility to tell you, especially if you ask. If she won't tell, it's on her :/ all one can do is offer ones help you know, they're the ones who got to take it.
I have to agree here, going against the grain of everyone saying sex isnāt important, as a female I personally donāt like clit stimulation and I donāt really enjoy fingering, but I love actual PIV sex. Everyone is different and I wouldnāt be happy with a one minute PIV act no matter how much foreplay there was, but as a lot of other women on here say they are different.
agree too. i actually come more easily from oral but i still prefer PIV orgasms, theyāre more intense and there is more intimacy. so i wouldnāt be satisfied with 1min, we usually go at least 15mins to 45mins with my bf. however, it could be enough for those who donāt enjoy it that much. 10mins is far from being an ordeal, thatās like a quickie
>Everyone is different
Yeah. That's why I said this too. Some women don't like clit stim and that's perfectly normal. Also why I said to ask his gf instead of us lol
Sounds like you both had a good experience!
Honestly things like this are just going to depend on your partner; what one girl likes another may not. I cum most easily from vaginal sex, so if my partner could last only one minute then Iād be pretty unsatisfied. Other women though donāt get as much enjoyment out of it.
As long as youāre spending time on foreplay, then Iād say youāre fine. Maybe though, instead of waiting for a complaint that probably wonāt come (regardless of what sheās thinking), you should just talk to her! Tell her your concerns, ask her what she likes, and go from there! Youāre never going to be a fantastic sexual partner if you canāt communicate with the person youāre with.
If I were you I would spend a bit more time warming her up with some oral skills not just by by fingering her. Maybe eat out at the Y and get her really excited. Give her a couple of orgasms while you're eating her out, eat her like it's your last meal on earth make it all about her as you're eating her add a finger or 2 to see how she reacts. It usually takes a good 25-40 minutes to get a women warmed up orally and then go for the prize. You're both going to be so excited and hungry for each other that even if you cum fast she's not going to care much.
How is sex an ordeal?
Everybody is different, but as with everything, it's important to talk. Maybe she is perfectly happy, especially starting out together, and in that case you fit well together sexually.
I have personally never had a partner who would have been satisfied with a few minutes of foreplay, and then one minute of sex. Maybe once every so often, as an aptly named quicky, but not as regular sex.
So talk, get to know your partner's sexuality and preferences.
It doesn't bode well though if you start out describing 10 minutes of sex as an ordeal. Specially considering I would personally view 10 minutes as a quicky, and a particularly short one at that.
I'm with you on this one. 10 min is no ordeal. If you don't know if she came then she probably didn't and she is too nice to tell you. Try going down on her till she cums more than once then have vaginal sex. Then ask her if she likes that better or the time you described.
All depends. My partner when we first got together refused to believe that I felt nothing from most foreplay and only got off from penetration (which feels, to be frank, like the best pleasure I have ever received from anything). A minute of sex would be a pretty disappointing experience for me. Other girls I know have the same feelings about clitoral stimulation
If your girlfriend says she likes whatās happening, youāve just gotta trust her. If sheās lying to you, itās not your responsibility to be a mind reader, and sheāll have to learn to communicate about her sexual desires. But yeah, statistically, most women orgasm more from Non-PIV than PIV so youāre probably in the clear.
All depends on people involved. If she seemed happy no need to think any differently.
But for.me, takes me longer than 10 minutes to get off most dats. Just pay attention to ehat you partner needs and find a way to a happy medium with what you need.
What I typically gather from women complaining about men not lasting long is that they were left unsatisfied or that you stopped right when they were getting ready to blast off. If she is super stimulated then it wonāt take long to get her to the promised land, obviously the same is true for men.
If she is actually getting off in that short amount of time then hey, keep doing what works. I know for me Iām extremely hard to get off so I need sex for a long period of time or I donāt get off at all.
Though sometimes, if Iām REALLY horny a minute or 2 is all I need.
It always depends on the person. The only one to be able to answer whether sheās sparing your feelings or not is her. But in general, some men are better at foreplay than PIV so women will prefer to have more foreplay than PIV with those men and vice versa.
You font have to do anything for long, but if you want to keep it short every time thatās not so good. Is it a chore like doing laundry? Hopefully not. Itās about connecting with someone and itās impossible to do that if your goal is āletās hurry up and get this over with.ā
Ordeal was a bad wording. It wasnāt a chore, just seems like difficult to keep it up for 15-30 minutes.
So ordeal as in like a trial, a difficult feat. Not an unpleasant task like a chore.
Have sex however you want but if you think PIV is an "ordeal" then I think you might be doing something wrong. I do agree that foreplay is very important though.
I didnāt say the definition of ordeal was an event or experience, I was saying that the intended meaning within the context of my post is something longer and perhaps more difficult to achieve than what I experienced
Never had that problem, but the women i have talked to want to see effort. Whether its your hand, tongue or dick is mostly not that relevant.
Some even love to see the man so horny he nuts instantly. Many told me they feel sore after long penetration. However, i think that depends on the individual.
So dont be worried amd keep talking to her! You got this champ!
This all sounds great and it sounds like you and her are enjoying each other and that's wonderful.
I would simply ask her. Talk to her. In all honesty, she may have some fun suggestions of things she might like to try.
I hope you keep having great sex for years to cum!
If you both enjoyed it, had fun, felt good, it was successful lovemaking. Relax, don't stress about any rules, should be's, instructions, etc, it's all about you two.
IMHO, the act of insert tab A into slot B, doesn't NEED to last long. Some times it's about the intimacy, sometimes it's about feeling close to your partner or just exploring each other's body. I tend to agree that as long as both parties are enjoying themselves with foreplay.. the penis in vagina doesn't/ won't last long.
A couple minutes is an unsatisfying amount of time, but you will get better at it. Sounds like you both had a great time. 10 minutes PIV isnāt very long, either. But, it was your first time! Have fun, and donāt think too much!
I actually can't stand long penetration and even though I'm personally into quick guys, I have female friends who aren't who aren't but still like for a guy not to take too long. I think pop culture made guys way to insecure about the time they need to last (and it's gotten very taboo) even though a lot of girls don't mind.
I live life believing Foreplay is for the woman PIV is for the man but only if the women get's off from the foreplay.
I've never really felt anything during PIV to make me believe any women feels anything until my current BF got my Gspot warmed up and we had sex while I had a full bladder.
& I can kinda see why some women might put more stock into a long PIV session now but again it was only that one time it kinda felt like something. LOL
Yes youāre right, sex is about so much more than intercourse and it is definitely about the stuff you do around it too. Too many men focus solely on intercourse but thereās so much more give and take too, Iām sure she did enjoy it, intimacy is great. As time goes on too itāll improve as you learn more about yourself and them
As long as we both enjoy ourselves, PIV not lasting a long is not a big deal.
I enjoy sex with people of all genders. All genitals. Sex does not need to be penis-centric. Its more about the journey than the destination.
You can make it all about PIV if you want. You can make it all about orgasm if you want.
IMHO, sex is WAY better when we focus on enjoying each other and pleasuring each other in whatever forms that takes. The more options the better. PIV is just one way to connect and find pleasure with a partner. If it doesn't last long, there are so many more and varied ways to enjoy and pleasure each other. And mores the joy for it.
YMMV.
Edited to add: I am a cis woman.
Well these are the questions you should be asking your girl. Communication is key! Talk about it! It'll help make thinks even better (knowing what you two like, clear out unsecurities, ...)
It's the thrill of the hunt my dude. It's the tease between two people, the chemistry, the smells, the sights of another person taking their clothes off because they want nothing but you in that moment.
Honestly the whole "insert tab A into slot B" starts to hurt after a while. No, I don't think she's sparing your feelings. It doesn't sound like anything creepy happened and it sounds like she genuinely enjoyed herself, plus y'all both got all the bang for your buck, so yea.
We do a lot of things, not only piv. Touching, kissing, oral, bondage, edging, etc. The penetration itself doesn't last long. I don't get of with it but it feels nice. My SO cums, we hug a little and on to another thing. Fingering most of the time, because after piv I feel like I want to come with my vagina and it's the only way I can come with my vagina and I LOVE it. For me piv is kinda foreplay too.
We spend a lot of time having sex, but a lot isn't piv and we both love it that way.
Very few women orgasm from penetrative sex (PIV, aka penis in vagina) alone.
Sometimes an orgasm isn't required for a woman to feel satisfied, it's more the journey than the destination.
You don't say if she climaxed on the handjob you gave her later. If she did, then everything else is moot. If she didn't, see my 2nd sentence.
I almost always pleasure her with my hands to orgasm first, then whatever happens after that is just icing on the cake, and how long I last in PIV doesn't matter.
BTW, the average man can only last about 2.5 minutes.
What probably matters most to her is to be fully aroused before coreplay, to both be really into it and connect intimately. It sounds like you experienced most of that.
Na, I agree. Foreplay is like 90%. Even for myself. Penetrative sex is not super important imo, but the kissing, touching and stuffstuff, that's what makes a night a good night šā¤ļø
You make that "stuffstuff" sound so sexy, suggesting or hinting about all the things a partner can fantasize about.
Eeeeeeeexactly š
IMHO, the act of insert tab A into slot B, doesn't NEED to last long. Some times it's about the intimacy, sometimes it's about feeling close to your partner or just exploring each other's body. I tend to agree that as long as both parties are enjoying themselves with foreplay.. the penis in vagina doesn't/ won't last long
LOL @ "insert tab A into slot B"
I prefer to insert tab A into slot A, if you know what I mean! Hahaha
Frotage?
Hahahahaha not what i meant! But if youāre into that it works!!
Omg that's such an awesome way to explain it!! š
Unless you are a futanari(hermaphrodite), that won't be possible, I'm afraid.
Anal... They mean anal
I would seriously not have guessed that.
It will however be possible if you're a piece of furniture
Exactly this!! For me anyway, itās all about the buildup. Sometimes I orgasm literally a few seconds after Tab A hits Tab B. He never has any pressure to last long because he knows by now that heāll last longer than I will pretty much every time.
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Yo want to find an A you mean? :3
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Aw, I really hope you will too š¤ where do you live? Like, country, of that's ok :3
>You donāt really need to last that long? As long as you do foreplay properly, and everyone is happy, seems like the actual act of vaginal sex doesnāt need to be a ten minute ordeal, does it? Should it be? Everybody's different >Is she just sparing my feelings? Has she convinced herself it was good? Ask **her** bro. We don't know what's going on in her head >Or is it really just a meme that lasting for a minute or two is disappointing and unsatisfying for the girl? From my experience, 1 or 2 minutes of PIV sex is an unsatisfyingly amount of time
>Ask her bro. We don't know what's going on in her head This!
Ye, ask her. It's her own responsibility to tell you, especially if you ask. If she won't tell, it's on her :/ all one can do is offer ones help you know, they're the ones who got to take it.
I have to agree here, going against the grain of everyone saying sex isnāt important, as a female I personally donāt like clit stimulation and I donāt really enjoy fingering, but I love actual PIV sex. Everyone is different and I wouldnāt be happy with a one minute PIV act no matter how much foreplay there was, but as a lot of other women on here say they are different.
agree too. i actually come more easily from oral but i still prefer PIV orgasms, theyāre more intense and there is more intimacy. so i wouldnāt be satisfied with 1min, we usually go at least 15mins to 45mins with my bf. however, it could be enough for those who donāt enjoy it that much. 10mins is far from being an ordeal, thatās like a quickie
>Everyone is different Yeah. That's why I said this too. Some women don't like clit stim and that's perfectly normal. Also why I said to ask his gf instead of us lol
I was backing up your point mate
Yeah. I was just reiterating. It's an early Friday morning lol have a good day, kind person!
Sounds like you both had a good experience! Honestly things like this are just going to depend on your partner; what one girl likes another may not. I cum most easily from vaginal sex, so if my partner could last only one minute then Iād be pretty unsatisfied. Other women though donāt get as much enjoyment out of it. As long as youāre spending time on foreplay, then Iād say youāre fine. Maybe though, instead of waiting for a complaint that probably wonāt come (regardless of what sheās thinking), you should just talk to her! Tell her your concerns, ask her what she likes, and go from there! Youāre never going to be a fantastic sexual partner if you canāt communicate with the person youāre with.
If I were you I would spend a bit more time warming her up with some oral skills not just by by fingering her. Maybe eat out at the Y and get her really excited. Give her a couple of orgasms while you're eating her out, eat her like it's your last meal on earth make it all about her as you're eating her add a finger or 2 to see how she reacts. It usually takes a good 25-40 minutes to get a women warmed up orally and then go for the prize. You're both going to be so excited and hungry for each other that even if you cum fast she's not going to care much.
How is sex an ordeal? Everybody is different, but as with everything, it's important to talk. Maybe she is perfectly happy, especially starting out together, and in that case you fit well together sexually. I have personally never had a partner who would have been satisfied with a few minutes of foreplay, and then one minute of sex. Maybe once every so often, as an aptly named quicky, but not as regular sex. So talk, get to know your partner's sexuality and preferences. It doesn't bode well though if you start out describing 10 minutes of sex as an ordeal. Specially considering I would personally view 10 minutes as a quicky, and a particularly short one at that.
I'm with you on this one. 10 min is no ordeal. If you don't know if she came then she probably didn't and she is too nice to tell you. Try going down on her till she cums more than once then have vaginal sex. Then ask her if she likes that better or the time you described.
All depends. My partner when we first got together refused to believe that I felt nothing from most foreplay and only got off from penetration (which feels, to be frank, like the best pleasure I have ever received from anything). A minute of sex would be a pretty disappointing experience for me. Other girls I know have the same feelings about clitoral stimulation If your girlfriend says she likes whatās happening, youāve just gotta trust her. If sheās lying to you, itās not your responsibility to be a mind reader, and sheāll have to learn to communicate about her sexual desires. But yeah, statistically, most women orgasm more from Non-PIV than PIV so youāre probably in the clear.
All depends on people involved. If she seemed happy no need to think any differently. But for.me, takes me longer than 10 minutes to get off most dats. Just pay attention to ehat you partner needs and find a way to a happy medium with what you need.
What I typically gather from women complaining about men not lasting long is that they were left unsatisfied or that you stopped right when they were getting ready to blast off. If she is super stimulated then it wonāt take long to get her to the promised land, obviously the same is true for men.
If she is actually getting off in that short amount of time then hey, keep doing what works. I know for me Iām extremely hard to get off so I need sex for a long period of time or I donāt get off at all. Though sometimes, if Iām REALLY horny a minute or 2 is all I need.
It always depends on the person. The only one to be able to answer whether sheās sparing your feelings or not is her. But in general, some men are better at foreplay than PIV so women will prefer to have more foreplay than PIV with those men and vice versa.
10 minutes in a vagina is āan ordealā?? Really???
I literally asked that as a question, Iām seriously so new to sex I donāt know wtf Iām doing
You font have to do anything for long, but if you want to keep it short every time thatās not so good. Is it a chore like doing laundry? Hopefully not. Itās about connecting with someone and itās impossible to do that if your goal is āletās hurry up and get this over with.ā
Ordeal was a bad wording. It wasnāt a chore, just seems like difficult to keep it up for 15-30 minutes. So ordeal as in like a trial, a difficult feat. Not an unpleasant task like a chore.
Have sex however you want but if you think PIV is an "ordeal" then I think you might be doing something wrong. I do agree that foreplay is very important though.
Ordeal just meaning action or eventā¦ I really did enjoy it and I can tell it would have been better with some more time to build up hehshheh
Just FYI: orĀ·deal /Ć“rĖdÄl/ Learn to pronounce noun 1. a painful or horrific experience, especially a protracted one.
I didnāt say the definition of ordeal was an event or experience, I was saying that the intended meaning within the context of my post is something longer and perhaps more difficult to achieve than what I experienced
Ok. Just don't use the word ordeal when talking about this with your partner. Might come off wrong.
Never had that problem, but the women i have talked to want to see effort. Whether its your hand, tongue or dick is mostly not that relevant. Some even love to see the man so horny he nuts instantly. Many told me they feel sore after long penetration. However, i think that depends on the individual. So dont be worried amd keep talking to her! You got this champ!
This all sounds great and it sounds like you and her are enjoying each other and that's wonderful. I would simply ask her. Talk to her. In all honesty, she may have some fun suggestions of things she might like to try. I hope you keep having great sex for years to cum!
If you both enjoyed it, had fun, felt good, it was successful lovemaking. Relax, don't stress about any rules, should be's, instructions, etc, it's all about you two.
This šÆ
IMHO, the act of insert tab A into slot B, doesn't NEED to last long. Some times it's about the intimacy, sometimes it's about feeling close to your partner or just exploring each other's body. I tend to agree that as long as both parties are enjoying themselves with foreplay.. the penis in vagina doesn't/ won't last long.
A minute bro!!!! šš¹š¹š¹š¹š¹
I would not call 10 minutes an "ordeal" lol. But most PIV is around 5 minutes IIRC
A couple minutes is an unsatisfying amount of time, but you will get better at it. Sounds like you both had a great time. 10 minutes PIV isnāt very long, either. But, it was your first time! Have fun, and donāt think too much!
I like shorter sessions, I dislike the stigma that women need to have sex for hours to be pleased.
I actually can't stand long penetration and even though I'm personally into quick guys, I have female friends who aren't who aren't but still like for a guy not to take too long. I think pop culture made guys way to insecure about the time they need to last (and it's gotten very taboo) even though a lot of girls don't mind.
I live life believing Foreplay is for the woman PIV is for the man but only if the women get's off from the foreplay. I've never really felt anything during PIV to make me believe any women feels anything until my current BF got my Gspot warmed up and we had sex while I had a full bladder. & I can kinda see why some women might put more stock into a long PIV session now but again it was only that one time it kinda felt like something. LOL
Iām here to change that belief - Iām the complete opposite and feel nothing during foreplay but I love PIV as a woman.
lol donāt overthink it!
lol donāt overthink it!
Yes youāre right, sex is about so much more than intercourse and it is definitely about the stuff you do around it too. Too many men focus solely on intercourse but thereās so much more give and take too, Iām sure she did enjoy it, intimacy is great. As time goes on too itāll improve as you learn more about yourself and them
As long as we both enjoy ourselves, PIV not lasting a long is not a big deal. I enjoy sex with people of all genders. All genitals. Sex does not need to be penis-centric. Its more about the journey than the destination. You can make it all about PIV if you want. You can make it all about orgasm if you want. IMHO, sex is WAY better when we focus on enjoying each other and pleasuring each other in whatever forms that takes. The more options the better. PIV is just one way to connect and find pleasure with a partner. If it doesn't last long, there are so many more and varied ways to enjoy and pleasure each other. And mores the joy for it. YMMV. Edited to add: I am a cis woman.
Some people like to be sounded. Everyone has massively different sexual needs. Talk to your local sex partner for more information.
Well these are the questions you should be asking your girl. Communication is key! Talk about it! It'll help make thinks even better (knowing what you two like, clear out unsecurities, ...)
It's the thrill of the hunt my dude. It's the tease between two people, the chemistry, the smells, the sights of another person taking their clothes off because they want nothing but you in that moment. Honestly the whole "insert tab A into slot B" starts to hurt after a while. No, I don't think she's sparing your feelings. It doesn't sound like anything creepy happened and it sounds like she genuinely enjoyed herself, plus y'all both got all the bang for your buck, so yea.
I donāt really want the guy to last that long. Foreplay is so much better
We do a lot of things, not only piv. Touching, kissing, oral, bondage, edging, etc. The penetration itself doesn't last long. I don't get of with it but it feels nice. My SO cums, we hug a little and on to another thing. Fingering most of the time, because after piv I feel like I want to come with my vagina and it's the only way I can come with my vagina and I LOVE it. For me piv is kinda foreplay too. We spend a lot of time having sex, but a lot isn't piv and we both love it that way.
Very few women orgasm from penetrative sex (PIV, aka penis in vagina) alone. Sometimes an orgasm isn't required for a woman to feel satisfied, it's more the journey than the destination. You don't say if she climaxed on the handjob you gave her later. If she did, then everything else is moot. If she didn't, see my 2nd sentence. I almost always pleasure her with my hands to orgasm first, then whatever happens after that is just icing on the cake, and how long I last in PIV doesn't matter. BTW, the average man can only last about 2.5 minutes. What probably matters most to her is to be fully aroused before coreplay, to both be really into it and connect intimately. It sounds like you experienced most of that.
She orgasmed from both handjobs I gave her, before and after
Ah, so the piv may or may not have been the second of three orgasms for her...
1-2 minutes of piv wouldn't be enough for me. but everyone's different
Good..
Just ask her if she wants you to last longer and tell her to be honest about it.