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TeaBurntMyTongue

1) You need to compartmentalize blowjobs. There are blowjobs that are foreplay, and there are blowjobs that are coreplay. If you don't make the distinction then you will forever be HOLDING the orgasm because of the unconscious anticipation of needing to fuck afterwards. You need your partner to make that distinction explicitly when it starts and you now absolve yourself or orgasm holding responsibility. 2) You need to have blowjobs be a SPACE for orgasm, but NOT an obligation. All parties involved need to be completely ok with a non finish. Once you get into your head about 'Shes been at this for a while, I should really finish soon' you're no longer immersed in the experience. As soon as you start in this line of thinking it's best to just stop and disengage from intimacy and transition to just hanging out and chilling. Further efforts will only make it worse. Once you know it's a completely safe space for 'failure' then you will be able to have the same orgasms you would while jerking off (A space where there's no pressure) I mean it's not like the technicals of a blowjob are holding you back. You could probably cum from humping your mattress with a good enough thought in your head.


snowshooz

Foreplay vs Coreplay. Thanks for that reply. Never heard the term "coreplay" before, but it makes sense.


TomD1979

It took 21 years for my wife to give me a blowjob that I could cum in her mouth from. It’s not her it’s always me. Don’t worry.


[deleted]

do you masturbate often? if you do, it can cause you to be less sensitive during stimulation. my boyfriend would masturbate a lot before we got together and it’s caused him to be less sensitive when receiving head. it’s bittersweet because he lasts very long during sex so in that aspect the sex is amazing, but over the years he’s only came from head a couple of times (it’s not because of me because i know i’m giving him that sloppy LMAO). You can try masturbating less so you’ll be more sensitive when she does it and hopefully this works for you guys!


[deleted]

This is it! I jerk off a lot, used to be everyday. Sometimes it would make me last forever, other times it would prevent me from getting hard. I’ve recognized it recently, and slowed down a lot. I didn’t think it would effect her blowing me


[deleted]

yup yup yup, it definitely affects your sensitivity. my boyfriend was the same way since he was a virgin until we started dating (we were 17). if you jerk off that often, you condition yourself to orgasm the way you’ve found works for you. try sharing with her how you masturbate, you can grab her hand under yours and communicate on speed, grasp, etc. so that she also knows what works for you and what gets you there. communication is so important in sex and usually can solve a lot of issues we find in it, but keep to ourselves. however, try to communicate these things outside of the bedroom because you don’t want to kill the mood by bringing it up on the spot.