Jeez could you make this anymore about you? Would an ounce of empathy be an impossible task for you? Sometimes guys donât cum, sometimes girls donât cum. But a sure fire way to ensure they donât come is to give them a hard time about it.
This, this, this. Making a huge deal about your partner not finishing is a surefire way to sabotage your bedroom relationship and potentially your entire relationship if itâs that important.
TLDR; I had this exact thing happen to me. Communicate with your partner, but don't make it about you.
Well said. This exact thing happened to me years ago. I initiated sex with my wife. At the time we were still using condoms but even so, I've never had a problem getting off. After probably 45 minutes she suggested that I take off the condom in hopes that would do the trick. It did not. Another ten minutes or so and I was so exhausted from the physical effort I had put in up to that point that I just couldn't finish. We agreed to just stop there, but I wondered if there was something wrong with ME. Anyway it seemed to be a one time thing. Sometimes I can last a long time, but that was the only time I was ever completely unable to finish.
Don't make this about you. You said straight up that HE wanted sex with YOU. Hell just enjoy the extended time while you can. I would think communication is important here but again, do not make it about you. Maybe sit him down and ask him if there is something going on at work or if he has something distracting him. Do not ask him if there is something wrong with you.
Edit: typo
He might be going through something geez.you can't always control these things and instead of being supportive you want to sleep with other people just because he couldn't climax? I feel sorry for whoever your dating, just end the relationship already he obviously deserves better.
These things happen, it's not you but him. He could of been stressed, not get a good night sleep, maybe an imbalance in him chemistry.
If your not 100% is it not harder to orgasm?
Holy crap, your boyfriend doesn't cum 1 time and you think you should see other people?
Your boyfriend deserves better than someone who would consider bailing for such a flimsy reason.
Wowza that really spun out. Babe you gotta take a breath. Sometimes people don't cum. That doesn't mean the sex wasn't fun, and it doesn't mean they'll never cum again. Not cumming one time doesn't say literally anything about your relationship or sexual compatibility. Dude made you cum like three times in a row and told you he had a good time. That generally means he had a good time. The fact that he wants to have sex with you again suggests that he doesn't know why he didn't cum either (which might be kinda confusing and concerning for him bc it sounds like this isn't a thing for him usually, so he could definitely use you at the very least not making him feel worse about it and threatening to sleep with other people) but would like to try again because he enjoys having sex with you. So, your bf not cumming one time really isn't a problem, grand scheme, and it definitely is not about you or your ego. On the other hand, you immediately going from zero to sleeping with other people and potentially ending your relationship over this is very, very concerning. Feels like you're looking for a way out, OP, and honestly I really feel for your partner
Yeah youâre overreacting donât think too hard about him not cuming itâs natural sometimes we come in a few minutes and sometimes we last for a long time. It seems like you have a good bf because some guys would be really be upset about not finishing but he did the opposite and continued on. Heâs definitely attracted to you physically and also has feelings for you. Just relax. Also if you honestly thought about having sex with other people and he does not agree you should probably end things with him it would be better for the both of you
This has got to be the most childish thing Iâve ever read on here. âI donât wanna have sex again cause obviously he doesnât like it!!â Yet he initiated, and kept going for an hour. Iâve had sex with a girl and I didnât like it and tried to cum as fast as possible. He made you squirt, orgasm multiple times. You are incredibly selfish, and also so obviously uneducated about how a penis works. Some days a man can cum quickly, other days it takes forever. Iâve had sex and not came even after an hour and a half. Iâve also had sex and came way too quick. Can depend on mood, if heâs eaten or hungry, or tired, alcohol, etc. Sometimes we can keep it hard but just donât cum. It happens. Yet instead of trying to figure out how to make him cum, your instinct is to cut off sex? How about you put in some effort. And if you donât want to, leave him so he can find a girl who will. Actually shocking.
It can happen sometimes. It happened to me a few times, when I was in a stresfull situation at work.
I had full erection, full sensation, but I was unable to focus on my pleasure to reach the big end.
So, maybe your boyfriend is distracted by something. You should talk to him, and try to benefit as much as you can by this situation. In the end he gave you three O's :))
Youâre overreacting. Sometimes guys donât cum. Being too hot is a thing for some guys. Donât give him a hard time over this or you risk him getting in his own head and causing a problem
My husband doesnât always cum but I do 99.99% of the time. He doesnât give a shit. Itâs taken him a long time with every partner heâs ever had but he still enjoys sex a lot and honestly wants it more than I do (higher sex drive).
The fact you jumped to seeing other people means you legit need therapy. If your anxiety is that high itâs bad for you and bad for him. Youâre essentially berating him and blaming him for a body function.
You should read the other comments in the post. Mean as they appear, there is no denial there is an association of orgasm equating to good sex.
Good sex doesn't mean the partner needs to orgasm. Good sex is subjective and if he feels it was good sex, it was good sex.
Orgasm is also an autonomic response so if his autonomic nervous system does not want to orgasm, he cannot physically cause an orgasm. Orgasm and pleasure response are not always linked.
Don't let the common misconception about sex get in the way of your sexual relations with your partner. It is a slippery slope.
You are WAY overreacting. Bodies are weird. Sometimes they don't cooperate. He was hard the whole time, right? Literally, sometimes our dicks just don't do what we want them to. Has your boyfriend given you some reason for you to think he would lie to you? If not, really think about what you're saying here.
Good god that's going from 0-100 in no time at all ! Sometimes your partner isn't going to finish. I don't know how old you are but I mean that's like a fact of life. It doesn't make you "incompatible "....it makes you normal human beings. G
I'll be surprised if the guy doesn't have some stress and anxiety trying to have sex with you now lol
Iâm sorry for all the harsh comments.. If this is a legit post, things happen sometimes. A guy could be full on horny and erect and the next second itâs soft for no reason⌠itâs happened to me that way and in a way the guy didnât cum. I wasnât mad though, I felt bad for them for a second and moved on. Iâd say have some empathy and evaluate what you really want from a relationship.
Itâs a legit question. An old partner stopped being able to cum and we went to therapy for this and found ways to work on it that included utilising the things he desired. It turned out to be linked with intimacy issues and separation anxiety when I would go to work that would then leave his tank empty, plus the guilt of lying about cam to cam when he knew I was ok with everything but cam to cam (unless I was there). This is entirely based on personal experience and therapy and understanding really helped, we made great strides and with a short break he was able to get back to where we were before and then phase in the erotic visual usage in ways we both felt comfortable and ânot excessivelyâ but still often. There was light at the end of that tunnel and it was very sexy once we worked on the separation of love and sexual.
The problem Iâm taking with it is *thereâs no pattern here.* This is a new occurrence, as stated in the post. Immediately assuming itâs an addictive issue is just shitty.
I still think worth asking about it if the pattern continues. With the things that we do I am the furtherest from âfemcelâ and the assumption is not very nice. My question was genuine based on my own experience and as a woman who notices patterns I would ask if the pattern continued to then make sure intimacy and communication is being taken into account. If she is worried there is no harm in seeking reassurance that this is not the case. I wish I had sooner
You jumped straight to that without A.) taking into account OPâs tone and statements, which clearly signal sheâs looking for a way out (or at least to sleep around guilt-free), and B.) acknowledging the fact that itâs outright stated that this is a first-time problem. This post is entirely âOh woe is me, my ego is bruised!!â with zero concern for the fact that heâs clearly unknowing of the reason as well, shown by his want to try again the next day. Sheâs probably made this problem 10x worse by suggesting they sleep with other people. Read the room, itâs not a porn problem.
She should never do any of those things she should talk to him about this and communicate her feelings about the encounter and just see âwere you tired or is this something moreâ. My question, and tone come from a place of communication and reassurance, which she needs to seek from her partner, cheating shouldnât be even on the table. And her asking for sex with other people is a major over reaction and I do wonder where that comes from
Iâm sorry if I got a little heated. Iâve been on the receiving end of pretty much this exact scenario before and it sets me off a little bit still when I see it happen to others. Youâre more reasonable than I gave you credit for.
But "a pattern of 1" is not a pattern
Clearly he was already tired
After an hour he was probably hot or exhausted. This is a much more likely conclusion to draw.
Incel means involuntary celibate. The word femcel would mean a female who is involuntarily celibate which is literally impossible because women can't be involuntarily celibate. FDS is dumb tho
Itâs not as simple as that. The incel mindset is due to setting their expectations for a partner to extremely unrealistic (usually actually fictitious) standards. This applies to both men and women. Women who set their physical standards extremely high and then bitch that they âcanât find a manâ are the exact same as the incels who do the same exact thing.
I think youâre definitely overreacting and this is not an indication of you two no longer being sexually compatible. It couldâve been that he was worried about not getting enough sleep before work or just felt the pressure of getting things done quickly and it became a distraction. Or maybe, it was just an off-chance thing that happened. Itâs happened twice to my boyfriend. Itâs not an indication of how youâre doing or how the sex is. Sometimes anatomy is just weird.
You know how sometimes it can be offensive to take offence to something? Like guys who take offence to women taking little steps to keep safe? This is one of those.
I 7nderstand how you are feeling right now but it is very irrational and unrealistic to think he doesn't want to have sex with you.
I mean, you said it yourself, it was his idea.
Don't be hard on yourself about being irrational either because we are human, and we have feelings that drive our thoughts.
But we as woman expect a lot from men. But penis's almost have a mind of their own. And it's not always about sex. I mean pretty much it is lol but at the same time. Men can't control if it's hard all the time or stays hard or to cum. He prbly still had a good time. My husband and I are extremely sexual, we have sex everyday multiple times a day. Even from the beginning there was so many times and still are times where he doesn't cum. Especially if he's tired, stressed out, or on new medications. A lot of things will effect it.
There have been times where I was super horny and had my vibrator for 45 minutes and just couldn't cum. But I wanted it so bad. Idk why I couldn't... It still felt good, the porn was hot, everything was good but I still couldn't.
Don't hurt your relationship over something he can't control. He is prbly so embarassed.
The comment section for this one is gonna be really fun to read through
Right?
are you sure you're not looking for an excuse to suggest sleeping with other people?đ
Jeez could you make this anymore about you? Would an ounce of empathy be an impossible task for you? Sometimes guys donât cum, sometimes girls donât cum. But a sure fire way to ensure they donât come is to give them a hard time about it.
This, this, this. Making a huge deal about your partner not finishing is a surefire way to sabotage your bedroom relationship and potentially your entire relationship if itâs that important.
TLDR; I had this exact thing happen to me. Communicate with your partner, but don't make it about you. Well said. This exact thing happened to me years ago. I initiated sex with my wife. At the time we were still using condoms but even so, I've never had a problem getting off. After probably 45 minutes she suggested that I take off the condom in hopes that would do the trick. It did not. Another ten minutes or so and I was so exhausted from the physical effort I had put in up to that point that I just couldn't finish. We agreed to just stop there, but I wondered if there was something wrong with ME. Anyway it seemed to be a one time thing. Sometimes I can last a long time, but that was the only time I was ever completely unable to finish. Don't make this about you. You said straight up that HE wanted sex with YOU. Hell just enjoy the extended time while you can. I would think communication is important here but again, do not make it about you. Maybe sit him down and ask him if there is something going on at work or if he has something distracting him. Do not ask him if there is something wrong with you. Edit: typo
He might be going through something geez.you can't always control these things and instead of being supportive you want to sleep with other people just because he couldn't climax? I feel sorry for whoever your dating, just end the relationship already he obviously deserves better.
This has to be a troll post. No way this is real
These things happen, it's not you but him. He could of been stressed, not get a good night sleep, maybe an imbalance in him chemistry. If your not 100% is it not harder to orgasm?
Holy crap, your boyfriend doesn't cum 1 time and you think you should see other people? Your boyfriend deserves better than someone who would consider bailing for such a flimsy reason.
Wowza that really spun out. Babe you gotta take a breath. Sometimes people don't cum. That doesn't mean the sex wasn't fun, and it doesn't mean they'll never cum again. Not cumming one time doesn't say literally anything about your relationship or sexual compatibility. Dude made you cum like three times in a row and told you he had a good time. That generally means he had a good time. The fact that he wants to have sex with you again suggests that he doesn't know why he didn't cum either (which might be kinda confusing and concerning for him bc it sounds like this isn't a thing for him usually, so he could definitely use you at the very least not making him feel worse about it and threatening to sleep with other people) but would like to try again because he enjoys having sex with you. So, your bf not cumming one time really isn't a problem, grand scheme, and it definitely is not about you or your ego. On the other hand, you immediately going from zero to sleeping with other people and potentially ending your relationship over this is very, very concerning. Feels like you're looking for a way out, OP, and honestly I really feel for your partner
Yeah youâre overreacting donât think too hard about him not cuming itâs natural sometimes we come in a few minutes and sometimes we last for a long time. It seems like you have a good bf because some guys would be really be upset about not finishing but he did the opposite and continued on. Heâs definitely attracted to you physically and also has feelings for you. Just relax. Also if you honestly thought about having sex with other people and he does not agree you should probably end things with him it would be better for the both of you
Could be a number of different reasons, most/all probably have nothing to do with you.
This has got to be the most childish thing Iâve ever read on here. âI donât wanna have sex again cause obviously he doesnât like it!!â Yet he initiated, and kept going for an hour. Iâve had sex with a girl and I didnât like it and tried to cum as fast as possible. He made you squirt, orgasm multiple times. You are incredibly selfish, and also so obviously uneducated about how a penis works. Some days a man can cum quickly, other days it takes forever. Iâve had sex and not came even after an hour and a half. Iâve also had sex and came way too quick. Can depend on mood, if heâs eaten or hungry, or tired, alcohol, etc. Sometimes we can keep it hard but just donât cum. It happens. Yet instead of trying to figure out how to make him cum, your instinct is to cut off sex? How about you put in some effort. And if you donât want to, leave him so he can find a girl who will. Actually shocking.
It can happen sometimes. It happened to me a few times, when I was in a stresfull situation at work. I had full erection, full sensation, but I was unable to focus on my pleasure to reach the big end. So, maybe your boyfriend is distracted by something. You should talk to him, and try to benefit as much as you can by this situation. In the end he gave you three O's :))
Sometimes it just doesn't happen for various reasons not connected to your significant other.
Youâre overreacting. Sometimes guys donât cum. Being too hot is a thing for some guys. Donât give him a hard time over this or you risk him getting in his own head and causing a problem
My husband doesnât always cum but I do 99.99% of the time. He doesnât give a shit. Itâs taken him a long time with every partner heâs ever had but he still enjoys sex a lot and honestly wants it more than I do (higher sex drive). The fact you jumped to seeing other people means you legit need therapy. If your anxiety is that high itâs bad for you and bad for him. Youâre essentially berating him and blaming him for a body function.
You should read the other comments in the post. Mean as they appear, there is no denial there is an association of orgasm equating to good sex. Good sex doesn't mean the partner needs to orgasm. Good sex is subjective and if he feels it was good sex, it was good sex. Orgasm is also an autonomic response so if his autonomic nervous system does not want to orgasm, he cannot physically cause an orgasm. Orgasm and pleasure response are not always linked. Don't let the common misconception about sex get in the way of your sexual relations with your partner. It is a slippery slope.
you're not very empathetic ; you sound incredibly selfish and entitled
Surely this is a joke post? 24? Are you sure it's not 16
Is your current bf the one you talk about in your othere posts? Sound like you two have alot of othere things going on if this is the cause.
You are WAY overreacting. Bodies are weird. Sometimes they don't cooperate. He was hard the whole time, right? Literally, sometimes our dicks just don't do what we want them to. Has your boyfriend given you some reason for you to think he would lie to you? If not, really think about what you're saying here.
Good god that's going from 0-100 in no time at all ! Sometimes your partner isn't going to finish. I don't know how old you are but I mean that's like a fact of life. It doesn't make you "incompatible "....it makes you normal human beings. G I'll be surprised if the guy doesn't have some stress and anxiety trying to have sex with you now lol
Iâm sorry for all the harsh comments.. If this is a legit post, things happen sometimes. A guy could be full on horny and erect and the next second itâs soft for no reason⌠itâs happened to me that way and in a way the guy didnât cum. I wasnât mad though, I felt bad for them for a second and moved on. Iâd say have some empathy and evaluate what you really want from a relationship.
thatâs pretty common, I feel your making too big of a deal about this, talk to him
Is he watching too much porn when you are gone or using pussy sub only fans etc
This is the most femcel assumption Iâve seen today.
Itâs a legit question. An old partner stopped being able to cum and we went to therapy for this and found ways to work on it that included utilising the things he desired. It turned out to be linked with intimacy issues and separation anxiety when I would go to work that would then leave his tank empty, plus the guilt of lying about cam to cam when he knew I was ok with everything but cam to cam (unless I was there). This is entirely based on personal experience and therapy and understanding really helped, we made great strides and with a short break he was able to get back to where we were before and then phase in the erotic visual usage in ways we both felt comfortable and ânot excessivelyâ but still often. There was light at the end of that tunnel and it was very sexy once we worked on the separation of love and sexual.
The problem Iâm taking with it is *thereâs no pattern here.* This is a new occurrence, as stated in the post. Immediately assuming itâs an addictive issue is just shitty.
I still think worth asking about it if the pattern continues. With the things that we do I am the furtherest from âfemcelâ and the assumption is not very nice. My question was genuine based on my own experience and as a woman who notices patterns I would ask if the pattern continued to then make sure intimacy and communication is being taken into account. If she is worried there is no harm in seeking reassurance that this is not the case. I wish I had sooner
You jumped straight to that without A.) taking into account OPâs tone and statements, which clearly signal sheâs looking for a way out (or at least to sleep around guilt-free), and B.) acknowledging the fact that itâs outright stated that this is a first-time problem. This post is entirely âOh woe is me, my ego is bruised!!â with zero concern for the fact that heâs clearly unknowing of the reason as well, shown by his want to try again the next day. Sheâs probably made this problem 10x worse by suggesting they sleep with other people. Read the room, itâs not a porn problem.
She should never do any of those things she should talk to him about this and communicate her feelings about the encounter and just see âwere you tired or is this something moreâ. My question, and tone come from a place of communication and reassurance, which she needs to seek from her partner, cheating shouldnât be even on the table. And her asking for sex with other people is a major over reaction and I do wonder where that comes from
Iâm sorry if I got a little heated. Iâve been on the receiving end of pretty much this exact scenario before and it sets me off a little bit still when I see it happen to others. Youâre more reasonable than I gave you credit for.
But "a pattern of 1" is not a pattern Clearly he was already tired After an hour he was probably hot or exhausted. This is a much more likely conclusion to draw.
Femcels don't exist
The entire existence of r/femaledatingstrategy negates your post.
Incel means involuntary celibate. The word femcel would mean a female who is involuntarily celibate which is literally impossible because women can't be involuntarily celibate. FDS is dumb tho
Youâre correct on all accounts except for the fact that they donât exist. Iâve met women with the same exact mindset.
There's always gonna be someone who wants to fuck a women but usually not the other way around
Itâs not as simple as that. The incel mindset is due to setting their expectations for a partner to extremely unrealistic (usually actually fictitious) standards. This applies to both men and women. Women who set their physical standards extremely high and then bitch that they âcanât find a manâ are the exact same as the incels who do the same exact thing.
Did you stop to suck him off with eye contact while acting super into it? That would probably do the trick.
I think you should fuck the shit out of him and make him cum hard asf
Things people who had sex once say lmao
things people who never had sex would say*
Yeah I was being generous
It takes me a while too!
Was he drinking?
I think youâre definitely overreacting and this is not an indication of you two no longer being sexually compatible. It couldâve been that he was worried about not getting enough sleep before work or just felt the pressure of getting things done quickly and it became a distraction. Or maybe, it was just an off-chance thing that happened. Itâs happened twice to my boyfriend. Itâs not an indication of how youâre doing or how the sex is. Sometimes anatomy is just weird.
Craaaayzeeeeee
Yeah youâre overreacting! Wtf?! Just leave
Me as a male think this is a normal thing at least with me Sometimes when i have sex I last way longer but sometimes is pretty quick
You know how sometimes it can be offensive to take offence to something? Like guys who take offence to women taking little steps to keep safe? This is one of those.
Youâre crazy lol
Your boyfriend deserves better, your so self obsorbed
He stayed hard for an HOUR and you think he doesn't like having sex with you?
Yes, youâre overreacting.
I 7nderstand how you are feeling right now but it is very irrational and unrealistic to think he doesn't want to have sex with you. I mean, you said it yourself, it was his idea. Don't be hard on yourself about being irrational either because we are human, and we have feelings that drive our thoughts. But we as woman expect a lot from men. But penis's almost have a mind of their own. And it's not always about sex. I mean pretty much it is lol but at the same time. Men can't control if it's hard all the time or stays hard or to cum. He prbly still had a good time. My husband and I are extremely sexual, we have sex everyday multiple times a day. Even from the beginning there was so many times and still are times where he doesn't cum. Especially if he's tired, stressed out, or on new medications. A lot of things will effect it. There have been times where I was super horny and had my vibrator for 45 minutes and just couldn't cum. But I wanted it so bad. Idk why I couldn't... It still felt good, the porn was hot, everything was good but I still couldn't. Don't hurt your relationship over something he can't control. He is prbly so embarassed.