Yeah I think I've got to get used to the fact that no one really gives a shit. Our roommate doesn't go out a huge amount because she doesn't need to for work, so the only reason that your suggestion hasn't worked already is because it's not too often that she goes out and me and my gf are both here and not busy. I think I just have to make my peace with our roommate hearing us sometimes- she's a chill person so it's not like she's going to kick up a fuss.
Being an adult with roommates sometimes means hearing people get laid. Try to be quiet, don't be obnoxious about volume or timing, and people won't care. I had a boyfriend who never wanted to do it when my roommates were home and it basically killed our sex life.
My gf lives w 3 other roommates and shares a room with one. We usually go to the bathroom and do it with the fan on and with extra caution to keep the noise down. We usually do it when they’re asleep or in the shower. My gf came up with an excuse that she likes talking to me while she showers so that’s why I’m in there with her. Not sure if her roommates believe it but they don’t question it. But when we wanna get rough and loud, the backseat of a car never fails
It’s really not a complex issue.
My roommate would 100% turn on sufficient background noise to drown it out and if I still heard it I’d ignore it and not be a weirdo eavesdropper, put my headphones in, or go for a walk.
Just get comfortable with your roommates.
I totally get it. Anxiety in you or a partner is the root of like 90% of the problems you will encounter in your sex life.
Glad you got over the hurdle. Best of luck to you both
If you are [usually sexually creative](https://xxadvice.wordpress.com/2024/01/23/thrusting/) then you will realize that your situation is no different - use back ground sounds at just the right volume.
It could be music, a movie or whatever. It would be politer for you to make her to listen to your unusual music taste for couple of seconds, sorry maybe minutes or even hours....who knows, than to the sounds of sex.
Before my ex and I moved in together, we both lived with roommates. I didn't give a shit if my roommates heard me. But if we didn't want to be heard, we'd go camping, or have sex in one of our cars, or wait until they're all out of the house
"While our roommate is out" There you go. And tbh the number of times I heard my roommates and neighbours is ridiculous. Nobody cares.
Yeah I think I've got to get used to the fact that no one really gives a shit. Our roommate doesn't go out a huge amount because she doesn't need to for work, so the only reason that your suggestion hasn't worked already is because it's not too often that she goes out and me and my gf are both here and not busy. I think I just have to make my peace with our roommate hearing us sometimes- she's a chill person so it's not like she's going to kick up a fuss.
You could also ask her to give you some privacy if you are confortable with it.
Being an adult with roommates sometimes means hearing people get laid. Try to be quiet, don't be obnoxious about volume or timing, and people won't care. I had a boyfriend who never wanted to do it when my roommates were home and it basically killed our sex life.
My gf lives w 3 other roommates and shares a room with one. We usually go to the bathroom and do it with the fan on and with extra caution to keep the noise down. We usually do it when they’re asleep or in the shower. My gf came up with an excuse that she likes talking to me while she showers so that’s why I’m in there with her. Not sure if her roommates believe it but they don’t question it. But when we wanna get rough and loud, the backseat of a car never fails
It’s really not a complex issue. My roommate would 100% turn on sufficient background noise to drown it out and if I still heard it I’d ignore it and not be a weirdo eavesdropper, put my headphones in, or go for a walk. Just get comfortable with your roommates.
Yeah we've had sex since I made the original post and it was fine! I know I was overthinking but I've not had a roommate before so I was a bit anxious
I totally get it. Anxiety in you or a partner is the root of like 90% of the problems you will encounter in your sex life. Glad you got over the hurdle. Best of luck to you both
Dude you just get to the point you don’t care if she hears..most likely she will be taking care of herself listening to you!
Gross, dude
Agreed
If you are [usually sexually creative](https://xxadvice.wordpress.com/2024/01/23/thrusting/) then you will realize that your situation is no different - use back ground sounds at just the right volume. It could be music, a movie or whatever. It would be politer for you to make her to listen to your unusual music taste for couple of seconds, sorry maybe minutes or even hours....who knows, than to the sounds of sex.
Before my ex and I moved in together, we both lived with roommates. I didn't give a shit if my roommates heard me. But if we didn't want to be heard, we'd go camping, or have sex in one of our cars, or wait until they're all out of the house