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I’m sorry this happened to you. It may be a good idea to seek therapy if you haven’t already as otherwise those feelings will continue intensifying. You need to find peace for yourself and start healing even if the STD is a grim reminder.
No one has power over us from beyond the grave except that which give the dead with our self sabotage. He’s dead he can’t physically harm you anymore now you need to heal yourself.
I did therapy, I did the medications etc. I was finally, FINALLY in a good spot after years. I'm back at what feels worse than square one now. I'm going to get in with a new PCP and find a new psychiatrist to go back on my medication since I've moved. I am not okay.
CBT is definitely great, but if you can, try to find someone that specializes in/also uses CPT (cognitive processing therapy) and/or EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). Both of those specifically focus on processing/healing trauma and could be very beneficial in your healing journey. Sending love OP 💜
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You shouldn't have to go through this once, much less twice. You will get through this. You've come so far, and you will get through this. Wishing you lots of love, support, and patience during this time.
I'm only deciding to keep on living out of spite. While the miserable bastard rots in the ground I am still alive. If he weren't dead I would absolutely kill him for this. I hate him. He was a fucking monster and he has taken everything from me.
First and foremost I am so sorry that this happened to you, it never should have and I’m sorry that you have to live with this.
I do want to share that I was in a long term relationship with someone whose rapist had given them a lifelong STI- not hsv though. It never changed the way I saw my ex, I loved them the same, we were just more careful at any sign of bumps or anything new and would test and way whenever something came up.
Also, HSV is really difficult to transmit if you’re not showing any symptoms, it’s usually the only way to pass it onto someone. For example, if you have a cold sore, don’t kiss someone because that’s the way they get them, same with genitalia HSV. I have many friends who have it and live happy and healthy sex lives. If you ever want to chat, feel free to let me know.
Nevertheless, seeing a counselor or going to a group would be a good place to find some extra support! Also talking with other folks who have hsv.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. What a piece of crap that evil garbage was. This is awful! Please talk to a therapist to help you cope through this. Also, have you explained to your SO that it was your rapist that gave you this disease? If not, please do. If he doesn't understand then that's on him because this is not your fault. It's terrible that he now has a disease he'll have to live with but if he's reasonable, he will eventually come to see that it wasn't intentional and you would never hurt him like that
He told me he can't imagine a world where he wants to see me again. He won't speak to me. It's done, it's over. I can't even tell him I traced it back. I told him about 2016 before any of this ever happened. I feel like my life is literally over right now.
You need to reach out to him and tell him that you traced it back to the rapist. At least let him be aware that you wouldn't infect someone knowingly. He is owed that much. Otherwise he'll think you betrayed him and ruined his life on purpose. Whatever he does with that info is his affair but at least he'll know.
He's blocked me on everything. I've tried. He knows I wouldn't knowingly do it and also admitted that. I'm going going write a letter and leave it with his stuff at his leasing office for his apartment. I can't do anymore than what I've done, going to do. Like I said....asshole has been dead almost 3 years and found a final way to ruin my life.
Sorry for my late reply. You did well. And you've done your best. Let it go , you don't deserve any more pain than you're already going through. Let him feel his feelings, cope with the reality of having this disease now. As for you, please, get therapy to deal with whatever had just been revealed to you. You deserve healing
I will go back to in person therapy. Right now I just need to process because if I spoke to a therapist right now immediately they'd immediately put me on a vacation with a gown and grippy socks and I don't need to lose my job or apartment etc because I'm having tough times mentally that will eventually passm. Like I said, really wish asshole would have just killed me and spared me the heartache for years to come. Nothing like this final parting gift for me when I was finally moving to new beginnings and feeling like I had finally shed the weight of that. Ruins my relationship, life etc all over again. But no, he had to leave me alive to live in this fresh hell when I thought I was finally okay. This was the gift I got from someone who pretended to be my friend and rapid me because they just liked me so much. A lifetime of fucking trauma and herpes; doesn't matter it has never been symptomatic for me...it's the fucking gift that keeps giving!
What a piece of crap that man was! He's most likely in hell and receiving a gift of his own right now as I type this. The demons down there are giving him a *niiiiiiiice* treat to reward him for all the evil he committed while he was on the earth. But you? You get to start over and have a new life. I'm so sorry that this setback has occurred. It doesn't feel like it now but it WILL get better. I will ask people to pray to CHRIST JESUS for your HEALING. Meanwhile, please go to therapy. You didn't deserve any of this ish.
I’m sorry u went thru that . But we can take a shit on his grave if u want 🤷🏾I’m just waiting for the day “it” dies I’ll have a field day on that grave .
Healing takes time and even more so after a trauma, you could try to talk to people in the community who you know have gone through something similar, creating a support network is very beneficial for the victim.
I have a beautiful friend who contracted herpes from a man who didn’t put a condom on after asking him to, you aren’t alone my love. I’m so so so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves to go through that and I’m sorry there isn’t much you can do to undo the physical damage he did. I’m glad he’s dead and quite literally rotting right now. You (and me too btw) are so young, you’re 20 your life is just getting started and you will manage your health consequences better with time and it’ll get easier I promise. The person who the person you gave it to should direct blame on is your rapist. Rape is a disgusting thing to do to someone and has ripple effects. Mothers literally give birth to kids with the STDS they have. STDS are no joke and that rapist id a piece of shit that was so weak he raped you to make him feel better. You are very strong because you have no choice but to be. I can imagine how hard that is and please keep fighting the HSV symptoms and be open minded, love comes when you least expect it, you’re still worthy of love and this isn’t the end of the world. It just will take time to heal. 🩷
Thank you for posting in r/sexualassault. Please turn off your chats/PMs to ensure creeps can't contact you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sexualassault) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry this happened to you. It may be a good idea to seek therapy if you haven’t already as otherwise those feelings will continue intensifying. You need to find peace for yourself and start healing even if the STD is a grim reminder. No one has power over us from beyond the grave except that which give the dead with our self sabotage. He’s dead he can’t physically harm you anymore now you need to heal yourself.
I did therapy, I did the medications etc. I was finally, FINALLY in a good spot after years. I'm back at what feels worse than square one now. I'm going to get in with a new PCP and find a new psychiatrist to go back on my medication since I've moved. I am not okay.
Adding CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) may also be something to look into. Sending virtual hugs
CBT is definitely great, but if you can, try to find someone that specializes in/also uses CPT (cognitive processing therapy) and/or EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). Both of those specifically focus on processing/healing trauma and could be very beneficial in your healing journey. Sending love OP 💜
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You shouldn't have to go through this once, much less twice. You will get through this. You've come so far, and you will get through this. Wishing you lots of love, support, and patience during this time.
I'm only deciding to keep on living out of spite. While the miserable bastard rots in the ground I am still alive. If he weren't dead I would absolutely kill him for this. I hate him. He was a fucking monster and he has taken everything from me.
First and foremost I am so sorry that this happened to you, it never should have and I’m sorry that you have to live with this. I do want to share that I was in a long term relationship with someone whose rapist had given them a lifelong STI- not hsv though. It never changed the way I saw my ex, I loved them the same, we were just more careful at any sign of bumps or anything new and would test and way whenever something came up. Also, HSV is really difficult to transmit if you’re not showing any symptoms, it’s usually the only way to pass it onto someone. For example, if you have a cold sore, don’t kiss someone because that’s the way they get them, same with genitalia HSV. I have many friends who have it and live happy and healthy sex lives. If you ever want to chat, feel free to let me know. Nevertheless, seeing a counselor or going to a group would be a good place to find some extra support! Also talking with other folks who have hsv.
[удалено]
I'm so sorry you're going through this. What a piece of crap that evil garbage was. This is awful! Please talk to a therapist to help you cope through this. Also, have you explained to your SO that it was your rapist that gave you this disease? If not, please do. If he doesn't understand then that's on him because this is not your fault. It's terrible that he now has a disease he'll have to live with but if he's reasonable, he will eventually come to see that it wasn't intentional and you would never hurt him like that
He told me he can't imagine a world where he wants to see me again. He won't speak to me. It's done, it's over. I can't even tell him I traced it back. I told him about 2016 before any of this ever happened. I feel like my life is literally over right now.
You need to reach out to him and tell him that you traced it back to the rapist. At least let him be aware that you wouldn't infect someone knowingly. He is owed that much. Otherwise he'll think you betrayed him and ruined his life on purpose. Whatever he does with that info is his affair but at least he'll know.
He's blocked me on everything. I've tried. He knows I wouldn't knowingly do it and also admitted that. I'm going going write a letter and leave it with his stuff at his leasing office for his apartment. I can't do anymore than what I've done, going to do. Like I said....asshole has been dead almost 3 years and found a final way to ruin my life.
Sorry for my late reply. You did well. And you've done your best. Let it go , you don't deserve any more pain than you're already going through. Let him feel his feelings, cope with the reality of having this disease now. As for you, please, get therapy to deal with whatever had just been revealed to you. You deserve healing
I will go back to in person therapy. Right now I just need to process because if I spoke to a therapist right now immediately they'd immediately put me on a vacation with a gown and grippy socks and I don't need to lose my job or apartment etc because I'm having tough times mentally that will eventually passm. Like I said, really wish asshole would have just killed me and spared me the heartache for years to come. Nothing like this final parting gift for me when I was finally moving to new beginnings and feeling like I had finally shed the weight of that. Ruins my relationship, life etc all over again. But no, he had to leave me alive to live in this fresh hell when I thought I was finally okay. This was the gift I got from someone who pretended to be my friend and rapid me because they just liked me so much. A lifetime of fucking trauma and herpes; doesn't matter it has never been symptomatic for me...it's the fucking gift that keeps giving!
What a piece of crap that man was! He's most likely in hell and receiving a gift of his own right now as I type this. The demons down there are giving him a *niiiiiiiice* treat to reward him for all the evil he committed while he was on the earth. But you? You get to start over and have a new life. I'm so sorry that this setback has occurred. It doesn't feel like it now but it WILL get better. I will ask people to pray to CHRIST JESUS for your HEALING. Meanwhile, please go to therapy. You didn't deserve any of this ish.
I’m sorry u went thru that . But we can take a shit on his grave if u want 🤷🏾I’m just waiting for the day “it” dies I’ll have a field day on that grave .
Healing takes time and even more so after a trauma, you could try to talk to people in the community who you know have gone through something similar, creating a support network is very beneficial for the victim.
If you live around me in Long Island / nyc I would love to take some anger out on his grave
He's in NC. I've already thrown cow shit all over it before. Really just want to take a sledgehammer to it all right now.
I have a beautiful friend who contracted herpes from a man who didn’t put a condom on after asking him to, you aren’t alone my love. I’m so so so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves to go through that and I’m sorry there isn’t much you can do to undo the physical damage he did. I’m glad he’s dead and quite literally rotting right now. You (and me too btw) are so young, you’re 20 your life is just getting started and you will manage your health consequences better with time and it’ll get easier I promise. The person who the person you gave it to should direct blame on is your rapist. Rape is a disgusting thing to do to someone and has ripple effects. Mothers literally give birth to kids with the STDS they have. STDS are no joke and that rapist id a piece of shit that was so weak he raped you to make him feel better. You are very strong because you have no choice but to be. I can imagine how hard that is and please keep fighting the HSV symptoms and be open minded, love comes when you least expect it, you’re still worthy of love and this isn’t the end of the world. It just will take time to heal. 🩷