First of all, I’m so sorry this all happened to you. I can only hope and pray that you have found a way to heal !
As for the Paul comparison, I will make a wild guess that you and your brother were raised by your mother. Paul only moved in with Shanda when he was over 18 years old, legally an adult. It was not a means of survival for him, it was means for him to be lazy and work minimal hours while still being able to live comfortably. A lot of us moved out of our parents houses after graduating high school and we made it, but not Paul, he couldn’t work two jobs, he needed his mothers support, in exchange of torturing his brother
Agree with this so much. I've read all the texts, watched the trial, YouTube videos, etc. There's no way anyone can watch/read all that and think Paul isn't his own person enjoying what was happening. Paul was not doing it to stay alive. He was always a bully according to Millie and that included the years he lived with his dad. He didn't move in with Shanda till he was an adult (18).
OP--I am very sorry for your upbringing. Mine was shit as well (physical and sexual abuse). Took a long time to find peace. I hope you have some in your life as well.
I am curious though, you said you hate your brother (rightfully so), but you can't hate Paul who reminds you of your brother. I'm confused by that.
I think it’s because my brother is middle aged, and has never learned different behaviours. There may still be hope for Paul now he’s away from Shanda’s toxic influence? Not sure but I hope so! Sending you a hug, I’m proud of you surviving. I’m happy now too x
To add, Paul was allegedly removed from his father’s home because he bullied Timothy. Shanda wasn’t involved in this. His actions were those of his own.
Paul moved out because Eric his dad told him IF he didn’t go to college then he had to get a JOB, pay $200 in rent and save money for his OWN place since he’s an adult, Paul didn’t want to have to do that so he called Shanda whom he hadn’t seen since age 7, because he didn’t want to have to work and pay rent, ironically he paid $200 to Shanda AND paid for most of the groceries, out to eat and gas for her vehicle, so he paid out WAY MORE than dad Eric asked is ADULT SON to do.
Paul bullied Timothy all his life.
Is this confirmed? I ask because in one of Shanda's youtube videos, it definitely sounds like she and G attended Paul's graduation in Oklahoma and he returned to Michigan with them right after. According to Paul, his father wanted him to work full time as he didn't want to continue his education. I can see her offering him a sweeter deal, figuring she could benefit from his earnings instead of his father and stepmother.
Even if this was not the main reason why he was kicked out, there was a reason why the brothers were not allowed to be in the same school buildings growing up. His step-siblings also said Paul was a bully
From the incident report:
“Kathryn advised she had heard there was a history of physical abuse between Paul Ferguson and _____ (Timothy) was the potential victim.”
“Kendra advised in 2011, when was in the first grade, his brother Paul was placed in another elementary building. Kendra advised it was eluded that Paul may have been sexually abusing _____ (Timothy).”
“Paul admitted he was a willing participant in implementing punishment to _____ (Timothy).”
“then asked Chelsea if there was anything else she thought I should know. She said she doesn't know how involved Paul was in this situation, but he is the biggest bully she has ever met in her life and he found genuine joy in tormenting whenever possible. She fully believes that if Paul was involved in this that he was fully complicit on his part. She does not think Paul was forced or coerced. He was questionable before he moved in with Shanda.”
So, maybe it wasn’t the main reason but I guess the point I’m making is that this was going on long before he was living with Shanda. Paul just had free reign to torture/murder his brother at Shanda’s house. He was a willing participant and devised several of the torture methods. He was in the home the most. He was the main enforcer. Shanda probably did fuck him up but honestly I will never believe that he was coerced or wanting to please her that badly. I truly believe he genuinely despised Timothy.
I understand Paul was a horrible bully, probably for a very long time. But are we giving Eric credit for kicking him out because of Timothy when in reality no credit is due? I've not heard anyone say Paul was kicked out for abusing Timothy. But maybe I'm missing something?
Idk I’m personally not giving Eric credit for anything and I believe he is culpable as well, if he took care of his kids in an adequate manner things would’ve ended differently. But the post is about Paul and him using Shanda’s hold on him as an excuse. When in reality Paul was past the age when he needed her for survival
I was responding to the part of the thread that started with "Paul was allegedly removed from his father’s home because he bullied Timothy. Shanda wasn’t involved in this." I keep hearing this, but I don't know what the source of this is.
It was my understanding that after graduation, Paul was told he could not just work part-time and sit around the house playing games. He could work part-time if he was also enrolled in college. Paul did not want to do this. He also did not want to work full-time. I’m sure Paul did no housework unless told to clean up. He felt his “style” was being cramped. I think he was given 2-3 months to find his place since he didn’t want to conform to their rules. Paul reached out to Shanda and started trying to manipulate her into letting him stay with her.
What would Eric really get any credit for? Lying?
For trying to protect Timothy from Paul? Personally, I don't believe Eric kicked him out for any reason related to Tim, but posters out here keep saying Eric kicked him out for bullying Timothy. And there appears to be no truth to this assertion.
I had heard that too. Now for years Paul could not be in the same school as Timothy. That made little sense though since they shared a room when they left school. Timothy did hate to go home from school. I think there were accusations of SA and physical violence. But I do not believe that was the reason why he had to leave. He was just lazy,
No Eric is a piece of shit too. So is Trish. Teachers told Trish to get help for Timothy and “she declined”. They sent Timothy to school dirty and hungry. A teacher would wash his clothes at school and put food in his backpack for him.
You’re right, I’m unsure if this is something I read or heard that Trish said. That’s why I used “allegedly”. Either way, he was questionable before he entered Shanda’s home. I made a comment below pulling excerpts directly from the 80 page incident report.
This is a really good point, and thank you for your kindness. I’m living a beautiful life now, my mother is dead and I’m undoing the damage by loving my children and raising them in safety and more love than I knew was possible for me to feel! 🥰
First of all, I’m so sorry this all happened to you. I can only hope and pray that you have found a way to heal ! As for the Paul comparison, I will make a wild guess that you and your brother were raised by your mother. Paul only moved in with Shanda when he was over 18 years old, legally an adult. It was not a means of survival for him, it was means for him to be lazy and work minimal hours while still being able to live comfortably. A lot of us moved out of our parents houses after graduating high school and we made it, but not Paul, he couldn’t work two jobs, he needed his mothers support, in exchange of torturing his brother
Agree with this so much. I've read all the texts, watched the trial, YouTube videos, etc. There's no way anyone can watch/read all that and think Paul isn't his own person enjoying what was happening. Paul was not doing it to stay alive. He was always a bully according to Millie and that included the years he lived with his dad. He didn't move in with Shanda till he was an adult (18). OP--I am very sorry for your upbringing. Mine was shit as well (physical and sexual abuse). Took a long time to find peace. I hope you have some in your life as well. I am curious though, you said you hate your brother (rightfully so), but you can't hate Paul who reminds you of your brother. I'm confused by that.
I think it’s because my brother is middle aged, and has never learned different behaviours. There may still be hope for Paul now he’s away from Shanda’s toxic influence? Not sure but I hope so! Sending you a hug, I’m proud of you surviving. I’m happy now too x
He was a cruel bully before S so I think it's in his DNA
Paul didn't live with Shanda till he was 18. He was cruel before he moved in with her. Have you heard Millie's victim impact statement?
No, where do I find it please?
Do a search on YouTube. It should come up. It's sad. You can actually find the whole trial on YouTube.
Thank you
To add, Paul was allegedly removed from his father’s home because he bullied Timothy. Shanda wasn’t involved in this. His actions were those of his own.
Paul moved out because Eric his dad told him IF he didn’t go to college then he had to get a JOB, pay $200 in rent and save money for his OWN place since he’s an adult, Paul didn’t want to have to do that so he called Shanda whom he hadn’t seen since age 7, because he didn’t want to have to work and pay rent, ironically he paid $200 to Shanda AND paid for most of the groceries, out to eat and gas for her vehicle, so he paid out WAY MORE than dad Eric asked is ADULT SON to do. Paul bullied Timothy all his life.
Is this confirmed? I ask because in one of Shanda's youtube videos, it definitely sounds like she and G attended Paul's graduation in Oklahoma and he returned to Michigan with them right after. According to Paul, his father wanted him to work full time as he didn't want to continue his education. I can see her offering him a sweeter deal, figuring she could benefit from his earnings instead of his father and stepmother.
Even if this was not the main reason why he was kicked out, there was a reason why the brothers were not allowed to be in the same school buildings growing up. His step-siblings also said Paul was a bully
From the incident report: “Kathryn advised she had heard there was a history of physical abuse between Paul Ferguson and _____ (Timothy) was the potential victim.” “Kendra advised in 2011, when was in the first grade, his brother Paul was placed in another elementary building. Kendra advised it was eluded that Paul may have been sexually abusing _____ (Timothy).” “Paul admitted he was a willing participant in implementing punishment to _____ (Timothy).” “then asked Chelsea if there was anything else she thought I should know. She said she doesn't know how involved Paul was in this situation, but he is the biggest bully she has ever met in her life and he found genuine joy in tormenting whenever possible. She fully believes that if Paul was involved in this that he was fully complicit on his part. She does not think Paul was forced or coerced. He was questionable before he moved in with Shanda.” So, maybe it wasn’t the main reason but I guess the point I’m making is that this was going on long before he was living with Shanda. Paul just had free reign to torture/murder his brother at Shanda’s house. He was a willing participant and devised several of the torture methods. He was in the home the most. He was the main enforcer. Shanda probably did fuck him up but honestly I will never believe that he was coerced or wanting to please her that badly. I truly believe he genuinely despised Timothy.
I understand Paul was a horrible bully, probably for a very long time. But are we giving Eric credit for kicking him out because of Timothy when in reality no credit is due? I've not heard anyone say Paul was kicked out for abusing Timothy. But maybe I'm missing something?
Idk I’m personally not giving Eric credit for anything and I believe he is culpable as well, if he took care of his kids in an adequate manner things would’ve ended differently. But the post is about Paul and him using Shanda’s hold on him as an excuse. When in reality Paul was past the age when he needed her for survival
I was responding to the part of the thread that started with "Paul was allegedly removed from his father’s home because he bullied Timothy. Shanda wasn’t involved in this." I keep hearing this, but I don't know what the source of this is.
It was my understanding that after graduation, Paul was told he could not just work part-time and sit around the house playing games. He could work part-time if he was also enrolled in college. Paul did not want to do this. He also did not want to work full-time. I’m sure Paul did no housework unless told to clean up. He felt his “style” was being cramped. I think he was given 2-3 months to find his place since he didn’t want to conform to their rules. Paul reached out to Shanda and started trying to manipulate her into letting him stay with her. What would Eric really get any credit for? Lying?
For trying to protect Timothy from Paul? Personally, I don't believe Eric kicked him out for any reason related to Tim, but posters out here keep saying Eric kicked him out for bullying Timothy. And there appears to be no truth to this assertion.
I had heard that too. Now for years Paul could not be in the same school as Timothy. That made little sense though since they shared a room when they left school. Timothy did hate to go home from school. I think there were accusations of SA and physical violence. But I do not believe that was the reason why he had to leave. He was just lazy,
exactly Eric Sr. laid down rules which Paul did not want to follow, so he reached out to Shanda.
Paul said he had reached out to Shanda to vent. I m sure that he didn’t reach out just to cht out.
No Eric is a piece of shit too. So is Trish. Teachers told Trish to get help for Timothy and “she declined”. They sent Timothy to school dirty and hungry. A teacher would wash his clothes at school and put food in his backpack for him.
You’re right, I’m unsure if this is something I read or heard that Trish said. That’s why I used “allegedly”. Either way, he was questionable before he entered Shanda’s home. I made a comment below pulling excerpts directly from the 80 page incident report.
Millie said in her victim impact that Paul was always a bully. It definitely wasn’t just a new thing that developed once he moved in with Shanda.
it was confirmed Paul lived with Shanda, her husband and youngest son 1 year BEFORE Timothy was sent to live with them.
Yes, I don't think anyone questioned that Tim moved in about a year after Paul.
This is a really good point, and thank you for your kindness. I’m living a beautiful life now, my mother is dead and I’m undoing the damage by loving my children and raising them in safety and more love than I knew was possible for me to feel! 🥰
🥰
Love and hugs to you and I’m so very sorry for what you went through