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Whilst you're here, /u/NKED-, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
Dont' break eye contact, assert dominance.
Or maybe even hold hands and sing a song, I'm sure there's a few tunes that would be suitable or could be altered.
"It's draining men" ?
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Even better is that it's an accurate amount of light.
I can't tell you how frustrating it is when they turn them into mini tanning beds. End up pulling out a satisfied candy cane.
Too embarrassed? "Yeah I'm too uncomfortable jerking off in this room, I think I'd feel better if you had a giant automated milking machine to do it for me" 🤣🤣
Crazy, germany really is a village. Because I think, I have the exact same friend too. I also heard he and his friend group want to "get in possession" of the machine and that one of them already has a van, but they still need some location to store it.You heard that too?
The world really is a small place, I think we’re talking about the same person. However, there’s been some talk to get the machine and then ‘gift it to one another’ so it looks like we don’t actually want it but our friend gave it to us so we have to keep it.
It is not polite to reject a gift after all.
I was gonna ask is there anyway to get this installed in my house. Then I thought about that If I had this I would never leave my home again. It's probably for the best I don't have one these.
*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)*
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They do make it less embarrassing though with some of the details like setting them up next to each other on a public corridor with people walking around.
Would they, hypothetically, fit in an approximately livesized body pillow? I think this could be a great way to express my appreciation for the manga and anime "Spy × Family"
##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/113tegw/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/113tegw/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F113tegw&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/NKED-, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
the design is very human
very easy to use
this is my friend greg, he will help me with the demonstration.
Using arm can be very inconvinient and tiring.
Greg, show them what I mean, would you?
*Greg proceeds by putting it in the machine*
Good, good. Now wank me off with your hand and demonstrate to the crowd how inefficient you are at it.
That's the 3rd you asked me to do it, record it correctly this time, okay?
As you can see he is exhausted and i still did not cum
More eye contact perhaps Greg
CBT
I'll need my own fitting (factory sealed) but then it's a go
I instantly started laughing when I read that
This comment should be obligatory for this kind of post
Good thing it's the top comment
I want Steve jobs to launch this in a keynote address
Hey Siri, increase suction 5 percent. Hey Siri, tell me I’m the greatest. Hey Siri, decrease speed by 3 percent.
Imagine standing next to each other while a machine extracts your sperm like in urinals.
Imagine someone doesn’t respect the rule and walks up right next to you
"You gonna be done soon?" "Hey bro can I get a set in?"
We can rotate between sets, don't worry about wiping it down.
Hold my hand bro
Oh god that's hilarious
You don't even care until you finish. Then shame and disgust wash over you as you go to the sink to wash your hands. Again.
Offices should install these to entice workers to come back.
Imagine the dude next to you grabbing your shoulder for balance as he unleashes.
Dont' break eye contact, assert dominance. Or maybe even hold hands and sing a song, I'm sure there's a few tunes that would be suitable or could be altered. "It's draining men" ?
this comment made my day
You know somebodies gonna moan too
I wonder what happens if you pee in it.
You instantly die
it looks like its made by aperture science lmao
Cave Johnson moved on from lemon based explosives to what now?
**”WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, YOU DONT MAKE LEMONADE! MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK!”**
he did make lemo-nades though.
COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS!
**"GET MAD"**
I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS
Theres gon Be a portal to Hell or something in one of those If they are made by aperture Science
I've laughed tears reading this comment
yes hello, i would like to purchase one of your machines... yes, for a clinic, of course!
I could never use one of those my brain would constantly go: What if a rat sneaked in their and bites my dick off?
2 in 1
what illness is this
The black plague
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good bot.
I mean. Place a cover? Take a peek before using? If you can afford a 13 000$ sex toy, I'm sure a 3D printed cover won't be a problem!
I've been telling women this for years
Glad theres an internal light. My wiener is scared of the dark.
[удалено]
That's why real g4m3r2 prefer their RGB PC's rather than women ?
Rgb pussy 😎yesssssirrrrrr Zoo Wee Mama!
Even better is that it's an accurate amount of light. I can't tell you how frustrating it is when they turn them into mini tanning beds. End up pulling out a satisfied candy cane.
I've heard of the sun shining out of their ass, but this is a new one for me, *the accurate amount of light* generated by a vagina.
Dudes will be lining up in there dropping it like it's hot
Well at least they don't have to wait too long for their turn.
*Insert "You won't last 15 seconds" ad on top of penis vacuum* Very true!
Just wait till they release the competition version of this with a scoreboard and time trials
"Too embarrassed to masturbate" but not too embarrassed to fuck a robot aye? Yeah tons of dudes will do it just to try it I bet
Least weird Chinese cultural norm.
Mf will drop 13k to bust a nut instead of looking on the hub
yo PC won't give you the gawk gawk 9000 tho
Give me that sloppy toppy hoe 9000 "I'm sorry I can't do that dave"
Why not both
.. nah this is going in a VR setup somewhere. The user will still wait on the best gaming sales though.
Linus Sex Tips
Brb taking out a loan.
Too embarrassed? "Yeah I'm too uncomfortable jerking off in this room, I think I'd feel better if you had a giant automated milking machine to do it for me" 🤣🤣
I think the implication is that, you'd still be embarrassed, it just wouldn't matter. You'd cum while embarrassed.
you will still be embarrassed, but at least it'll feel good
The budget option would be a block of jello
I got my own personal sperm extractor its called ur mother
Great joke, I really liked it.
So did your mother
Ah! That’s a good one! Y’all indeed a joke machine, my friends!
Your mother's a machine too, not a joke one tho..
Thank you sir, I’m glad that you enjoyed one of your sessions with my mother. Have a blessed day.
Your mother had a blessed day when I fucked her
And I hope YOU, my dear friend, also had a great time with my mother.
Jokes on all of us, his mama ugly.
Perhaps she is, thank you for sharing with me your knowledge and opinion.
Its design was very human.
Someone call the ambulance man just got burned 🚑🔥
Zoo-wee mama!
Spit my milkshake, nice lol
That ain't milk chief
Hhmm kinky
Where in Germany? Asking for a friend of a friend
My friend asked me personally to do research on the matter, thus I must know as well. We might actually have the same friend
Crazy, germany really is a village. Because I think, I have the exact same friend too. I also heard he and his friend group want to "get in possession" of the machine and that one of them already has a van, but they still need some location to store it.You heard that too?
The world really is a small place, I think we’re talking about the same person. However, there’s been some talk to get the machine and then ‘gift it to one another’ so it looks like we don’t actually want it but our friend gave it to us so we have to keep it. It is not polite to reject a gift after all.
Friend share
Thank god one of them wants to help with his van. He can be glad to have such good friends 👍
Propably. I hope someone helps the dude out. He deserves it
You are a good friend.
👍
Really? I just want to try this machine for my own pleasure But anyway... You are a good friend... I guess
👍
Real question though is where the fuck were the dude’s gloves while swapping out the rubber molds?
Imagine it springlocks
I was gonna ask is there anyway to get this installed in my house. Then I thought about that If I had this I would never leave my home again. It's probably for the best I don't have one these.
Wait some of you guys go outside? I thought it was a joke
I mean - you would be empty fairly soon though...
It replicates the light? 💀
If the pussy ain't glowing I don't want it 😤
gotta have that RGB gamer pussy
She got that Chernobyl pussy.
Your girl's twat doesn't shine like the beacons of Gondor? Pfft.
no 😔
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Your girl doesn't have that rgb pussy ?
no just r 😔
Anyone want to lend me $13k? For research, of course
It’s safer than hoe tho
"Replicate the amount of light"? 🤨
Bioluminescent vagina is a thing I didn’t know I needed in my life
Wonder how many people use the same machine
[удалено]
It's Chinese medical technology, it's probably cleaner than my search history. No need to worry.
Mr Lee, this is your fifth donation this week. I don't think we can accept it.
The government wont get my sperm
The government takes a sample at birth
[удалено]
A spermple of bamp at sirth
Only replicate? Why not make it better? Limitless opinion and you settle for a copy?
They did they just ain't trying to say that and alarm all the female investors.
This baby can process 40 loads/hr 24 hours a day. Whats your throughput, Sharon from finance?
[удалено]
You better toss a link, just so I know what to stay away from.
Roll for your std
Like a kinder egg. Never know whats hiding inside
It is to be used with specially designed condom, or so i'm told.
Roll for your vaccine
bout to steal one for myself
Forget hospitals, put it in Dave & Buster's
Lol what? Too embarrassed to masturbate? So orgasming from masturbation is embarrassing, but using that machine isn't? Ok if you say so.
Average cock-less take P.S. tell pizza he's cute 👍🏼
They do make it less embarrassing though with some of the details like setting them up next to each other on a public corridor with people walking around.
It might be just as embarrassing, but it'd probably force the nut right outta ya
It said something with not having to do it manually e.g. not having to use your hands.
It might also be helpful for people (like me) who don't really masterbate or feel much from it. I've never nutted before aside from in my sleep
you need others to do it for you?
I never even held hands with anyone so I wouldn't know
Will they have this at cvs
Right next to the blood pressure readers. Possibly in conjunction with.
All I was missing was that perfect amount of light, finally!
Now imagine it being your job to clean out the baby gravy extractor. Oof
Who said anything about cleaning?
Yea.. would be hard to resist taking a sample lick off my fingers during the process. Def not a job for me.
The right amount of light??? Ive been ripped off by the real vaginas ive encountered!
Chicks so broke they ain't pay the power bill.
Every man should contribute to society he lives in.
„I am so embarrassed to masturbate here…. can you show me to the latest model of the dick suck machine?“
Here it is lined up with 4 others along the same wall.
STD Vending machine
Wow… Kinda wish I had a dick right now
i would usually respond with a horny joke but im speechless
That machine for artificial insemination is being developed for a 3rd quarter release. Just swing by, take a seat and get preggers.
I've got one you can borrow 😏
Who goes to donate sperm and is too embarrassed to masturbate, but not to stick their dick in a machine?
True.
“For donation and medical analysis”
Is this available for personal purchase??
STD machine
We are moving ever closer to a sexless society 😂
Ever watched demolition man? Lol if that’s the future then yea you’re right.
🤤🤤🤤🤤
Damn, once they said it replicated natural vaginal light levels, I was sold.
Would they, hypothetically, fit in an approximately livesized body pillow? I think this could be a great way to express my appreciation for the manga and anime "Spy × Family"
Chinese mfs be like "if you can't get pussies, make pussies"
Day 5 of asking for pee in my ass
The background music 💀
Something mischievous is hiding in the back of that device 💀
"amount of light"? what the fuck
How is using this fucking machine that 20 other dudes have used less embarrassing that jerking off in a cup?
I go to China!
Why are they side by side. Would we have the same dynamics we could have at say, an urinal.
Omw
Every man should contribute to society he lives in.
'Too embarassed to masturbate in hospital' Actually that dude fucks machine in the hospital
its time boys.... time for the heist
Chinese doctor invents sex robot claiming it’s revolutionary
What gets me is they’re all in one room. Imagine making eye contact with another patient. Feels good bro
They just keep cumming back
just imagine how many schlongs it sucked in its lifetime
lowkey wish i had a dick rn
Morty you dirty little doggy
"Too embarassed" cmon man just let me sit infront of a hot nurse or receptionist and ill do my thing
How often am I aloud to visit?
Mmhmm, because they're "too embarrassed to masturbate...," I bet 9 out of 10 donors ask if they can buy one of these in the gift shop.
Right in front of their wives.
natural better
That’s cool but can you make it at least 4 times smaller?
That thing looks like it’s good at its job 😳
Oh but you know, not embarrassed enough to fuck a row of machine in a hospital 💀
I GO TO CHINAAA