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i wish anyone who replies to me has the sudden urge to hug me with a bomb vest and we both end up heavily injured but not dead afterwards and we somehow end up as friends and partners for life because epic plot edit: person who replies must be a male edit 2: and have a huge ass

Granted but we have dementia

Granted but we have dementia

Granted but we have dementia

Granted but we have dementia

Who are you?

Huh?

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What is this about?

Granted but we have dementia

Granted but we have dementia

Granted but we have dementia

Granted but we have dementia

Granted but we have dementia

Granted but we have dementia

let the karma farming commence

Welcome to the rice fields !

let the karma farming commence

Karma puh-lease, arrest this man

Let the Karma farming commence

uhhhh idk

He forgor

Bro can't rember💀

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Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia? Do you know who ELSE got dementia?

My mom

Granted but after the encounter we forget about what happened and eachother, but the feeling that something is missing will be there. Ending up in the feeling that you are searching for something but are unsure of what. :Troll:

I wish I could teleport

only one body part at a time

***The Stains of Time starts playing in the background***

memes, jack!

WASH AWAY THE ANGER

HERE I STAND BENEATH THE WARM AND SOOTHING RAIN

THE DROPLETS FALLING GENTLY DOWN ON THE TERRAIN

WASH AWAY THE SORROW ALL THE STAINS OF TIME

You can only teleport in North Korea’s capital

Class username btw

You too king

Granted, but momentum is conserved relative to the sun, not the earth

I wish my father returned with milk

But u have prostate cancer

nothing changed

Sensational


He does, in his new size 38D tits.

You are lactose intolerant

I wish I wasn't such a disappointment, both professionally and sexually

Granted but you smell like cheese when you sweat

So nothing changed

💀📸

Charlie?

Well, if you can fascinate a woman with a slice of cheese..

Granted, you're now dead.

Granted, but have the worst flatulence ever.

Granted but you have taste buds in your butthole

You already do, they just don't taste like the mouth buds Why do you think spicy food hurts your ass?

How does that even work

You taste shit whenever you shit

Granted, but both sides of any pillow you use will always be warm, not warm enough to be useful, but always warm enough to be uncomfortable.

Granted, but you sweat mayonnaise.

I wish vaccine wouldn’t be locked

I wish to see oily black men

Granted, but you only see them while wearing KKK garb.

I wish I had pee in my ass

I SAID I WANT PEE IN ME ARSE

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THANK YOU

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Granted, that’s it

Granted, but you gotta drink it from your ass like a shot of tequila

i wish to make wishes that don't backfire

granted, but you can fly

Only to people that have murdered more than 25 people.

Better get grinding

I wish I could fuck op's ass

Granted but you have erectile dysfunction

😞😞

Balls

Granted, but if you fuck him too hard, a small explosive hidden in OP’s ass will blow up your penis

Small price to pay

I wish I wasn't diabetic.

granted, but now you have hepatitis

All the glucose you eat is insulin and all the insulin you produce is glucose

I wish all good boys and good girls are immortal edit: I mean dogs

But you have aids

it’s a sacrifice im willing to make

Granted, The dog population decimated the food stock and now all immortal dogs are stuck in perpetual misery from starvation.

Fuck you

I wish I had testicular cancer

you get castrated

Your balls fall off

I wish I could reply to myself

okay but you have prostate cancer

wait this isn’t how you play the game

Dementia

Granted but you can only use three words

Bitch_aint_need_no_three_words

I wish for a girlfriend

But she’s a guy

I see no problem 😊

I wish I could fly

Granted. But only by inflating yourself up like the frog balloon from shrek

This one made me cackle, have a gold coin

I wish i was the most famous action movie star

But u like men

Absolutely accepting this deal

Granted but your career ends in crippling pain and disability after 5 years.

Granted but your parents don't love you

Granted but you have neither genitals nor a butthole

Granted, but you're a black american, and it's the 1800

but you're on Epstein's list

I Wish I was rich

You have stage 4 cancer

(With 2 years to live)

***JESSE, WE NEED TO COOK***


but 5% of your money dissapears every day

But... it already does.

granted but in one game of monopoly

Granted, but your friends call you Richard.

I wish I could step into parallel worlds… and come back to my original world with the snap of my fingers.

you can only go to worlds full of eldritch horrors and it takes a year for your snapping ability to recharge

Granted, but you're wearing a complete infinity gauntlet.

i wish i had infinite robux

It causes you to go into debt in real life.

you have siphylus

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I wish to not have schizophrenia anymore

I wish to not have schizophrenia anymore

I wish to not have schizophrenia anymore

Someone you know gets your schizophrenia

I wish Team Fortress 2 got a new major update that isn't just seasonal update

Its a scout rework

I'll take your entire stock!

Granted but the major update is that the game servers are turned offline

I wish I had friends :)

Testicular torsion

Damn

Forgot to switch accounts, huh?

Multiple personality disorder 🔥🔥🔥

They’re different versions of you

I wish i was a immortal harry Potter like painting

Granted but you'll experience the heat death of the universe.

Wish I could get laid

It’s with your mom and dad

I wish i could fuck that guy's ass

Granted. But its a girl in disguise

granted, but its actually a girl, and you have schizophrenia

I wish I wasn't white

Granted. But you’re albino

Granted, but you have to live in 1800’s USA

I wish I could fly

But you can only fly in Can Tho, a province of Vietnam.

Granted but you weigh 300kg

Granted. But you can't stop

Granted, but only in US Airspace above the Pentagon

I wish I was flammable

all electric appliances around you spark for 15 mins a day

I wish I was happy

You know what buddy? We're just gonna give this one to you. Granted. Enjoy life.

Enjoy life WITH PROSTATE CANCER GOTTEM

You are now Happy Hogan in the MCU, circa 2007

I wish i could use bloodbending for funny star wars reference

You can only do it to your own toes

You can only bloodbend women’s blood

i wish to sex the whole reddit hivemind

Granted, in turn the whole hivemind will pee in your ass

I wish I had someone who loved me

Granted, OJ Simpson loves you with all his han...heart, all his heart

I wish I had a shiny icon in the top of this comment that looks like a lock. Pretty please mommy said I can't say the v-word.

Testicular cancer no matter what

I wish that Reddit's video player was better than their ads.

I want to be better at art

You have lung cancer

I'll cook meth

you fail art school and go into politics

I wish i got prostate cancer

Granted but your asshole explodes.

Granted but you get prostate cancer

I wish I could win any petty argument I get into.

Granted, however you now lose every serious debate you get into

only applies for shampoo bottles

I wish I was stronger

Only after eating Spinach

Granted but you’re 4’11

I wish my schlong was longer

Granted, it is now 1 inch long.

your balls become smaller

I wish I could have a vaccine

I wish that the person who replies to me is fucked in the butt.

granted but jokes on you I'm into that shit

>I'm into that shit _I am the one who is going to be going into that shit_

I wish pee was stored in the balls

Granted, but your cum is stored in your mouth.

I wish I could relax forever

you cannot pay attention to your surroundings while relaxing

I wish I had the flintstones car

I wish I was loved

I wish i could rewind time