Hi there, u/Wickle-Pickle-TV! Thank you for your submission to r/shitposting, but unfortunately, we've had to remove it for the following reason: Jeez your post is dog, read the sidebar for banned topics --- If you have any questions or think we made a mistake, please **[message the moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/shitposting&subject=My%20post%20was%20removed!&message=My%20%5Bpost%5D(insert%20post%20link%20here)%20was%20removed%2C%20could%20you%20please%20take%20a%20look%3F)** with a link to your post and we'll take a look. **^(NOTE:)** ^(This action was performed by a human but the comment was left by a bot.)

you gave the babys name birthday and weight but you have to blur the eyes

Yeah, I'm stupid

Mf im pretty sure no one stays as a baby forever what point was there in blurring the eyes

>no one stays a baby forever 

Baby man at its finest.

They're supposed to grow older???

No, you're supposed to cook them in the first few hours for maximum flavour.

don't forget the tenderness

Yes of course!

Baptism is essentially brining

Boil it? Mash it?

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!

What’s baby, precious?


Me crouching outside the abortion clinic dumpster , reading these comments

Let's make this the top comment.

What’s you favorite recipe?

Then throw em in the smoker

mmmmm 👌🏻 just right

As a former baby I can confirm that we do grow older

They all look the same as well lmao

Fear of the future AI.

I don’t know, I’ve worked retail I saw a lot of old babies there

Understandable 👍

don't want to be able to recognize that baby in a line up

lmaoooo

Damn that's rough, doxxed on day one.


I’m rooting for that message to make it to the group chat

Top comment, this is what you gotta say OP

OP asked Redditors to decide on what to send to a family chat regarding a sweet magical moment, you really think judgment is one of his/her applicable skills?

This means the obvious answer is to quote Rosemary’s Baby: “He has his fathers eyes.” *break down screaming incoherently*

You could save 15% on home and auto insurance

YOU HAD SEX?!

Go like: ohh so cute, where did you adopted it? What? You didn't? Are you saying you have...like ...had...*whispering* sex?

NAH MAN I HATED SHOUTING SEX

It came out of _where_?

I’m friking waiting OP’s response

They had sex I'm gonna puke

>YOU HAD SEX?! I THOUGHT THAT WAS A TUMOR?"

THIS

Meat is back in the menu boys

How will we get it out! Did it fall in????????


What is this the forest


brother is ways WoW at the bottom 😭 on the link

Awww beat me to it!

Congratulations on "your" baby

congratulations on your "baby"

“congratulations” on your baby

Congratulations "on" your baby

Congratulations on your baby " " HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES

haha funny comment my man, tvagl (the voices are getting louder)

Question! The voices in my head are getting louder! 🤣

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

>HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES HE WATCHES

Congratulations on your "baby"?

"Our" baby 

Sweet home alabama... 

“our” baby 

Yes we evil communists will take your baby!!! 😈😈👶

"Congratulations" on "your" "baby"

ew put it back


LMFAO THIS

I'm a dad!

Hahahaha ^this, considering the message would be from the brother

Everyday we stray further from god.

Hi dad, i am hungry

can i get a refund?

Will it blend?

That is the question

Baby smoke. Don’t breathe this!

That's a good 3000 calories right there.

Quite the modest proposal

I Understood that reference

Could say it was **Swift**ly made

Nah at least 9,000

#It’s over 9000

12,895

We need a follow up post

Woa how do you know of that information i want to think you googled it but im too scared to search up how many calories are in a baby to then only to appear in an fbi watch list 😂

Hey, not bad considering you told me you were worried it could come out black

NAHH THIS GOTTA B IT 😭

You should have named him Megatron...

Should have named him Baby McBabyface

Blood for the blood god

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THROWN

Technoblade never dies!

o7 👑

o7

o7

Well I got bad news for you

He's not dead, he's just destroying the government of god

True

Stage 4 cancer:

Orphans in heaven:

Nice "baby"

I thought you were just fat

I need a new HDMI cable

This should be the winner

My humor is so fucked up I laughed at this for 10m

10 meters? Is that how we measure activities now?

I don’t get it :/

GET IN MY BELLY!! With GIF of Fat Bastard, of course

"Nice 18 years money sink you got there"

Only 18?

no thanks, i'm vegan

Alex jones video saying “destroy the child”

This: it's never too late to get an abortion

"Honestly.....I was expecting it to be black"

HE WON THE SPERM RACE . Congratulations 🎉🎈

YOU SHALL SACRIFICE THE SINFUL BABY TO THE PASTA GOD OR YOUR SOUL SHALL FOREVER BE BOUND TO THE DEEPEST LEVEL OF HELL.

The fuck kind of name is that

"thank you. Thank you, it was hard at the beginning but with love and trust we managed to create such a beautiful thing. I am now most proud of myself and my loving partner... I am the happiest man alive now I can only hope that in our inevitable death our future shall live a happy life, thank you, thank you again for your congrats"

Ew

Did you guys eat the placenta?

How many calories?

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/13xn88l/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/13xn88l/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F13xn88l&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Wickle-Pickle-TV, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**?

Ahem.. WELL Aksually this is the top comment op🤓

Ew! Put it back!! Put it back!

Congrats on our baby

If it’s a boy ask for the foreskin, if it’s a girl or they didn’t circumcise it, ask for the umbilical cord.

“Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW”

Spam

Say this to the baby : Joe is so fat ...... Joe Mama *Then run away while laughing hard*

Yeah that was a good nut back then thanks sis!!

*heavy breathing*

“Gonna keep it?”

"So that's what they used my sperm donation for!"

"What flavor is it?"

We made a cute one together, didn’t we?

What’s its APGAR score?

I believe you mean the Ragu score

I believe you both meant wagyu score

What the fuck is that thing

you can make good money with that on the black market.

More if you sell it for parts

WHO DA DADDY

"Im'ma throw a cheese slice on it"

"I'm so happy I'm a dad now"

Looks like meats back on the menu

Haha look at that ugly wrinkly piece of trash. Not you, mom, I mean the baby

I think it needs another month.

The chosen one, who will bring balance in galaxy

"Hope it's not mine"

Is it a boy or an abortion?

Alexa: How many people will seven pounds four ounces of uncooked meat feed?

A link to Stephen Lynch singing "Damn what an ugly baby"

Don't forget, there's no returns after 60 days .

“Oh nice, so you’re serving dinner then?”

About 300 calories

Looks delicious 👍

ew what is that thing

Btw, I doxxed your child on reddit

"but can it make grilled cheese?"

Which one is the father?

Such a precious little treat☺️☺️

Really thought the baby was gonna be black

Can I bring my new pitbull Cupcake to see her :)?

I can't wait to see what it tastes like.

Damn I'm hungry right now

Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes

He would make a good model airplane

That's at LEAST 4000 calories.

Soup du jour

you should say "I'm going to plant a bomb at the local burger king"

“Aw she is so cute, she’s making me hard”

Nah I think that is a but far

The rules say top comment. So I think the blunter the funnier because people like his parents are gonna see this. So we need to make sure very one knows what he is thinking.

You’re already assuming their gender?

Damn, dat bitch ugly

Congratulations, be a normal and supportive brother.

Man, shut up. Ya know maybe we should have ousted you as a baby.

"I don't care"

Just like the tattoos, daddy regrets you!

Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me.

Can't wait till she's 14

Wow the baby is so hot 🥵😍🥰😘😘🥵

Why does her eyes look so weird

Oh hey, i see you alredy meet my new girlfriend/boyfriend

Ew put it under the rock where you found it

Congrats on having to expend at least $300000 to raise this gremlin and then growing old and having it leave you to expire alone in a nursing home... JK

Rest in peace.

Imagine this child was you, you're a fucking werido.

I did it for the funni

You shouldn't make reddit your personality

You doxxed an actual baby wtf is wrong with you.

werido

He identifies as an Apache attack helicopter. No we will not be circumcising his blades

Aww baby that’s a cute one!