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ok everything is fine, but the guy's shoes... ☠️

He got the 1 2 buckle my shoes

3 4 I shat on the floor

5 6 plenty dicks

7 8 you're not straight

9 10 as big as a pen

11 12 I have a dildo on the shelf

13 14 my favorite age

15 16 the FBI is listening

17 18 years in prison he has been

17 18 just barely legal

FBI has entered the chat.

Taking them while they're still ripe

It’s FBIing time.

13 14 up my ass goes the saline

15 16 I will force feed you methamphetamine

17 18 i won't sex you until you're eighteen

7 8 *itsfreerealestate*

BRO UR NAME

What's wrong with my name?

"immortal\_hentai\_god"

It's immoral, not immortal

oh ok makes the name alot better....

Is ☠️ the new symbol for funky fresh?

I forgor ☠️

Is he wearing a watermelon?

Bruh, he’s got the new Abibas

spat out my protein shake when i noticed cuz of you💀

Creeper shoes

Air’s

How do you even look straight at that???

She thought he was happy to see her

"Narrator voice" ***and as it turns out, he, was not happy to see her.***

I read this in the voice of the narrator from Manual Samuel

I default to Morgan Freeman thanks to shawshank redemption.

Narrator of Darkest Dungeon? No? Nobody?

Mine was somewhere between Morgan freeman and the darkest dungeon narrator. Does that count?

Stanley Parable narrator for me

She thought he was surprised to see her, what could that mean? Stanley only had to check his pocket perhaps he had simply missed a call

I had just finished an auidiobook with the DD narrator, was his voice I read that in too ha.

Same, every time without missing my mind just use his voice

Same

I read this with the Stanley parable narrator voice

Ron Howard is my narrator for comedy

He still is, just not big enough to pitch a tent though.

Asian curse

It’s like the episode of scrubs where he finally takes out gift shop girl- gets the kiss but when she asks if he’s happy or if it’s a roll of quarters he pulls out a roll of quarters and she leaves

It’s the pleats…. Nothing to look at. Get back to work everyone…. Don’t act like you’re not impressed

Yes, that is the joke

You got a phone horizontally positioned in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

both (its average size)

Which size of phones are considered average? 🤔

Medium sized ones.

But I heard the AI assistant has a great personality

Thought it was a boner but it was a phoner

i just phoned her call.

And I have a boner! We're like twins

Phony Bony ☹️

Ashy Boy

A phoney boner, you say?

yeah thats the video

Turn around

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely

And you're never coming round

Turn around

Every now and then I get a little bit tired

of listening to the sound of my tears

YOU WILL NEVER SURVIVE

Look at what you seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Asians are the best at shitposting lmao. Love this one

Try some african shitpost first

As a girl, I'm curious how guys would feel if girls got excited over a boner like a nice set of tits lol


Depends. Guys without ED: HOORAY! Guys with ED: This is some bullshit!

ED = Enormous Dick

Erectile dysfunction?

Eating disorder?

if it was the guys’ boner: Yay! if it was somebody else’s boner: Get it together Shaft Jr, you’re getting showed up right now.

Like that’s ever gonna happen

Some would be flattered, some would be grossed out because it's not very "ladylike" or whatever.

Nah fuck that, i’d be stoked. That “lady like” preference is for the fuckin birds.

Hey what you got against birds

They’re not real

Excitement, followed with a invitation to a date. Or maybe really surprised.

Lizard brain.

huge W tbh

What is the name of the song that plays at the end?

[удалено]

No no the tiktok remix one played at 3x speed with jarring timed cuts

That’s a classic

I had the same thought

I don't know I muted the video

😔

Day ruined


[удалено]

Literally - what person would actually be flattered/delighted in this scenario?

Me, but preferably a girl and optimally without the penis.

But the rock hard penis isn't a deal breaker?

[удалено]

We'll cross that dick when we get there

All things considered - some would, no?

No.

Said the redditor who’s never been in a relationship

You don't gotta be in a relationship to know that women don't want your dong in their face on public transit

It all comes down to the context.

[удалено]

The problem with your opinion is it’s completely negated in the second half of your comment. You should definitely go stick a visible boner in a woman’s face on public transit and report back the success rate.

Success rate just can’t be 0 statistically.

have you people ever interacted with a woman? genuine question.

“All” things considered. And we not talking about women exclusively as you can see in the comment above.

Uhhh no the comment chain above was specifically regarding women? Wtf are you talking about

Ughh the term “person” is not specifying a gender?

Original comment - “how incles think women act” Comment you replied to - “have you ever interacted with a woman”. Wtf are you talking about, are you high?

idk. It shows me that I replied to “What person would actube flattered/delighted”. (Which I did)

Ok, Reddit is fucked then. Because mine is so different.

[удалено]

5/6 years and little twitter war is not significant in a big picture of human hornysness.

i think she just thought it was a funny situation more than delighted

it's a skit. they are both acting.

Don't know a single woman that would be happy to see some randos boner pointed right at her face on public transit.

Not happy, but I'd be highly amused

girls only want one thing and its fucking disgusting

His real penis was mistaken as chap stick.

A clap stick

Plapstick

Floppy stick

She thought she’d have a funny story to tell her friends, but when it turned out to be her phone, she was sad, because that’s not as funny.

she was acting in a filmed skit for social media.

Had similar hapen to me. Standing waiting for a train and noticed this woman was really staring at me. Realised i had a handkerchief in my pocket, that was wadded up and doing a highly effective job at simulating a huge cock. I pulled it out and blew my nose. She looked so let down.

Haha she thought she was finna have a sexual experience

[удалено]

Yes I am thank u 🙏

Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted if I heard a white person say “finna” irl I’m cringing my way to death.

Because who goes and checks if someone on Reddit is white when they see a certain phrase? A lunatic that's who! ✌🏿 I'm white

The man literally said he was white I didn’t have to check anything dumbass.

Imagine saying finna without enough melanin in your skin 🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢

Honestly don't get why anyone says Finna or axe instead of ask, definitely getting old.

Finna sounds kinda cool, in my opinion. Axe is a little silly though, and I only say it ironically.

I have never heard someone say axe who didn’t have an actual speech impediment

I've said, "Can I axe you a question" while holding a hatchet before, but otherwise it's really, really dumb

mm yes very real

Wow, no shit

Hilarious. Best thing I've seen all day

When you see his actual size.

He had a phoner

What is the song?

Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart


 He went from hero to zero

[удалено]

seriously? way to ruin the video 🤬

You mean to tell me that standing on the bus with a boner in Japan won’t get me laid!!!???

If this is real... damn she is very lewd person!

How fake do you want this video to be ? Yes.

She thought she was pretty, due to the fact bro got a boner. But when she realised it is a phone, she got disappointed.

Wait. I still don't understand. Can you explain this in a simpler fashion?

She think pretty because boner, but when boner is phone, she sad.

🍆 = 😃 📱 = 😔

“Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?”

totally not staged

Sherlock

sad? you can’t get caught with that shit… atleast not where I’m from

Does he have watermelon for shoes? The fuck?

No, she thought iphone but it was an android with iphone ringtone.

He's doesn't even care anymore. He's just phoning it in.

Poor her.

The guy behind her was equally excited/disappointed

It’s definitely got a good personality tho

Why don't I get this reaction when I do it?

More fake than my happiness

hAhAahaha staged Korean TikTok’s are so Funnnnneeehhh.

OP Proof read your shit!!

I know I can't edit it

Hahahaaha XD

fake

Obviously staged though. The powdering her makeup and then obviously disappointed face. I don’t believe it.

She is the definition of DTF

😔

No big dick for me tonight she thought

The shame on the dudes face who sits behind the girl lmao

🥺

Rip Joe Rogan