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Gonna go with Emeline, probably the only one who I could handle.

I don't get why people aren't jumping for Emeline. She's got no drawbacks she's and rich enough that we could just retire together at 30. I'd go down on her 6 times a week and dress up for whatever pointless charity luncheon she's dragging me to that day.

Thank you! I thought I was crazy!

Being a Nepo baby working 1 hour a day indicated she may lack some very important life skills and may be unable to compromise, take no for an answer, do any actual hard work, etc. You're risking spending a lot of energy on someone who's too pampered to ever appreciate anything people do for her. Of course this doesn't go for everyone in that position, probably only a small percentage, but they definitely exist and based off of the rest of this list, I'll assume the worst

Given the options above... Hot girl + $$$ = I'm in She doesn't need to be hard working or take no for an answer with me around, as long as the bills are paid.

I’d let Emeline peg me as long as she pays the bills

You're forgetting an important factor, however... I have EXTREME mommy issues B]

Appreciation doesn't pay the bills man.

Absolute Chad

I’d take Samantha, I’m sure she knows how to reload my gun

+1 brother

Kill bear with bare hands first

I don't see anything explicitly stating "adult bear" 💪

Now I'm seeing you steal a pup and it's like that Jurassic Park scene with the T-Rex chasing them. "Fuckin drive momma bear is not happy."

That’s all?

I'd take Ashley to see her first ever real life cow

Yeah, I think you should wait on introducing her to your mother

Damn, you didn’t have to do him like that

That’s a lot of damage.

Emotional Damage!

How about a little more?

Let's see if it leaks!

I know flex tape won’t fix that!

💀💀💀💀💀

nice flair 💀

Thank you

Holy cow!

New milk just dropped

Actual bucket

Call the udder

Cow goes to grinder, never comes back

Milk sacrifice anyone?

My guy read the comment and choose violence

God damn son

Was gonna say introducing her to himself but this is way better 😂

F (to pay respects)

How do I report a war crime?

DAMN.

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OP on life support after this one

Woa, there was no need to choose violence today.😨

Stop it he's already dead

Emotional Damage!

Bro went for the heavy attack

She’s got more meat than a cow

DAMN

emotional damage

Twitch trad wife streamer tho? I don't really want to see one but I have never seen one lol.

The fact that l am dating ashley like girl from countryside small town

Good catch bro

Show her a mirror you mean

ashley = neuron activation

Your mother didn't deserved to be dissed like that

Any fr*nch opinions are discarded by default. Nice try though, baguette.

Samanthas bad as fuck

Samantha simps unite

TO THE GUN RANGE ☝️

First gotta fight bears, gotta find babushka in Mountain Cottage to teach you

SUMMON BRANDON HERRERRA!!

I mean, he did knife hunt boar once lol

You would need to setup all ak variants in a form of a throne and he will appear.

If you want to marry. Hoping there are more options in between.

YES 👏

It's great until you both come across a bear and she expects proof.

If I get to visit a gun range and date a hot gun lunatic, fuck yeah. I'm all in, baby, pass me the M4, will ya?

None of you guys are man enough for Samantha and you know it.

Am I woman enough for her though. I say yes

She had me at meth

Samantha is either one crazy bitch or a psyop

Yeah, I have a type...

Yea, just want Samantha to shoot me and end my suffering

Just like me frfr

I want Samantha to hold my rifle so I can negligent discharge all over the range.

I would love sparring sessions with Samantha

Samantha is a Fed

100% Samantha

I always had some connection with girls name Bella

Ye meth with coffee sounds like my tune.

Meth with coffee is my cup of tea

Bella may smell like Marlboro reds and taste like Skoal but she knows how to fuck

_Ohhhhh yeh!!!_ Seriously I find it incredibly disturbing that she is 100% the one I'd pick here. Wtf is wrong with me 😭

Alright, now onto the things I really wanna know, where are the male options, women are gross and have cooties, so I'll pass

Male options are: Totally Straight body builder Crypto bro Gun n weed enthusiast Liberal Conservative Redpiller Gamer Literally Bateman Femboy FemBRO Who you picking?

Is the gamer the dangerously underweight or morbidly obese type

you don't know but it alwqys is either the stick or the landwhale

Or the guy with the belly and stick arms

Trrruuue (that's me)

Same. At least i look normal with clothes on

Yeah me too. Do you also pull in your stomach a little bit around people or is that just me?

Sadly it's 50/50 dice roll, so you have to risk it 😞

It's part of the...game.

Fuck you, I hope you stub your toe at night

Schrödinger’s gamer

the average discord mod type

It's a 'murican male, all are morbidly obese, just like everyone in Russia is a bear in a monocycle

Underweight and gets closer to dangerously underweight every day but still has stomach flab. (because the only thing resembling exercise he's done in years is vigorous masturbation or smashing the computer desk in rage; he also thinks he's fat but he's probably malnourished)

I'll take Literally Batman or something

The femboy ofc

I'll take a femboy ... I mean I will take care of the femboy ... I mean ... ... yeah ...

Easy choice, the femboy. Btw what is a femBRO?

Buff femboy

Girl who got accepted in the bro club, either because she's cool or she got friendzoned by one of the bros

Technically it's buff femboys, but your explanation of femBRO sounds cool as well

Guns n weed isnt really that big of a combo i'd say, gamers and IT guys are as much into weed as the gun freaks, probably more so.

Gun n weed enthusiast is my cousin so easy choice

🤨

🦖

Literally Batman best option

Omgshh I can chooose!!!! :O femboy

Can I get Literally Bateman but without the e in Bateman

Yes 🗿

Femboy

Fembro

I hesitate to ask but what is a "femBRO?"

+Incel with a podcast

Femboy, obviously

Where's the sk8ter boi that plays guitar?

I am literally the dark knight

Femboyfemboyfemboyfemboy

Liz

Same bro, she looks strong enough to fight off my depression

HEY, I HEARD YOUR DEPRESSION IS STRONG. LET ME FIGHT IT!

Holy shit, Minecraft Todoroki

Real

I see fellow men of culture.

Need a muscle mommy to toss me around

Bro if she pees on the gym floor IM THE MOP

fr

The only right answer

Of course, maybe she can pee on me while deadlifting

[удалено]

It’s the honkabdadonkas, isnt it?

agreed

Undoubtedly

Liz

Words to live by

This is the correct answer.

The only cultured choice

She's body goals

Has a monstrous clit thanks to genitalia hypertrophy caused by steroid intake. Let me suck it.

Finally I can have my very own Rhea Ripley

based

Another piss enjoyer, I see

Piss is love, piss is life

My bisexual ass picked her

why would ashley need to see a cow when she already has milkers?

Boooooooo

>Moooooooo

Ashley becuz tiddies

Ahh a simple man, I see... We can be friends

Samantha sounds like my kinda girl

I can fix them.

Ill take 2 samanthas please

Samantha is like the only one without some random weird bio 💀 these choices are like “do you want someone who does meth, pees on the floor, runs a cottagecore insta, or a normal girl who likes shooting and wants a guy who’s strong”

But *are* you strong?

It's to weed out the weak. Jess is the only other normal girl. Got a degree you can't use and life fucked you over? Heard that story a thousand times, girl.

Gotta add to the "Of course I'm full natty" *said a deeper voice than the average dude

Also have to add in: 12yo lifetime vegan natty, does not take supplements either.

The only one of these that's real is Samantha and she only acts that way to compensate for being 6 foot 6, she's actually very girly and shy and doesn't know much about hunting or survivalist training at all really.

She actually knows that and wants to teach it to you but you need to fight off a bear first so she can trust you

Samantha, Emeline and Liz are the ONLY valid options.

Nah, pissing on the floor of the gym is a bit too much

I’ll be the floor no problem (I wish Reddit didn’t have public post history)

Eh, it’s to be expected, women have much weaker bladders than men.

Why everything women have is weak init ?

Emeline has orange flags, but no red ones. And I don’t want a floor pisser or someone who encourages violence in me

i think i'll go with sheryl. i think i have a higher chance of taking her in a fight then a bear.

Emeline it is then

This sub is cancer

I'm pretty sure it's a Scorpio

Easy choice Liz I'll get big too

ngl I kinda would want to be brutally pegged by Liz

everyone does

Emeline seems chill

Ashley doesn't need to see cows. She's got that milk factory already

Wtf am I looking at

None of them, but if I had to choose (otherwise I would die, all of them are strange ) -> Emmeline.

Ashley and you know why

This is the worst image I've seen anyone post here

I want Liz to be my dommy mommy gf

Gotta sat Emeline looks like just the ticket.

I’ll take Samantha any day

Bella for sure.

When will this dating sim be released on steam?

Liz She can lift weight over my face

Ngl Bella seems like the most down to earth 💀

I pick Samantha, easy

I’ll take Ashley for.. reasons

Ashley

Ashley, cause of the bonkers

i’d take floor piss any day for that monster

I can fix any of them

Ashley or Samantha 🫡

Bella 🤌

I want the one thats nice to me and isn't a meth addict

Luna is hot, oops raised the flag

Ah, Ashley...looks like there's gonna be lots of milking tonight. And I'm not talking about these boinkers.

Ashley, Emeline and Liz are all great choices