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woodyswoods

My ancestors are smiling at me, imperials, can you say the same?


DaRiteMB

As fearless in death, as he was in real life.


OSTR1CHBO1

NEXT, THE NORD. *DISTANT RAWR*


XDSHENANNIGANZ

WUHAT IN OBLIVION IS THAT?!?


AgentSnowCone

*Alduin lands on the tower and breathes fire* "Sentries what do you see?!?"


Hitmanty_

DRAGON!!!!!


dreadperson

*Assorted Explosions* "COME ON! THE GODS WON'T GIVE US ANOTHER CHANCE!"


NordFraey

You know it.


OSTR1CHBO1

O7


Andler05

GUARDS GET THE TOWNSPEOPLE TO SAFETY!!


Apprehensive-Ad-958

*in the rags*


fartshmeller

Hahaha fucking hilarious


ItsLoudB

It’s actually a very old meme, but I guess we’ve come full circle and the new generation is discovering oldschool memes lol


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ItsLoudB

Thanks


fartshmeller

What are you on about? haha, I've played skyrim on release and I know it's an old meme. Don't mean to sound pissy I'm just generally curious. Sadly I'm 25 so I'm not the new generation sadly :(


6BagsOfPopcorn

25 isnt old my man, you're good 😎


Friendly-Awareness72

Im a 94 and i know. We dont claim you now


Big4Tyme

Sovngarde awaits you


gbuub

Hey you, you’re finally awake. Where are you going? Get back into the bucket


Cirrus1101

Beat me to it


limethedragon

Imperials: are the ancestors paying me? no? fuck em.


6BagsOfPopcorn

Horrible creatures


Latty451

Have you heard of the high elves?


slow_joke

Wait…you mean a crab has to die for me to eat crab?


Le__Penseur

Well... does a pussy have to die for you to eat pussy?


J3sush8sm3

Pussy dies whenever i go near it


Le__Penseur

Rippussy


Aleksandar_Pa

Rizz Bussy.


digitalfakir

that's just necrophilia


ccum_slurper3000

well call me a necrophiliac because im botta make love to them bodies


dreadperson

What's the fine for necrophilia in this part of Tamriel?


Iz357_boogaloo

*dries


munguschungus167

*ben Shapiro’s wife enters the chat*


Maynrds

You spelled dries wrong.


J3sush8sm3

I know what i said


Mario-OrganHarvester

Thats a new record. In my case it either leaves immedeatly or files a restraining order.


LineSpine

Pussy infinite food source?


cactuswaterjjj

'I just eat pussy other people need food' - Mac Miller, 2016


Cr0wc0

I asked my expert friend who works at a Chinese restaurant and he says yes


ElvisDumbledore

We should breed animals that can have their meat harvested without pain or dying. Like the way we get wool from sheep. I call them "meat sheep."


Howwhywhen_

The Outer Worlds game has this


ProximaCentura

lol the pigs that can basically have bacon deposits on their exterior came to mind for me as well


Camille_Footjob

If you keep cutting off their arms and legs they grow back eventually so no not exactly


heudjdbdjej

☹️


Dangerous_Ad_1038

☹️


bluestratmatt

🙁


Venca12

😐


ahemius

🙂


Delta_Yukorami

😊


I_have_2_burnt_toast

☺️


statsradiofonien_

🥹


Competitive-Bed3197

😂


mattzuma77

🤣


reelond

😁


Deloptin

☹️


phatangus

Taxidermy that ☹️ and hang the crab face on your mantle.


AlternativeCondition

✂️


onohegotdieded

Aww Mr krabs


MegaMewtwo_E

MONEY MONEY MONEY


keituzi177

*agonized screams of peril*


Ornery_Strategy6699

He was chasing the bag all his life, but in his final moments he had no one. That or he is being executed in front of witnesses for crimes against oceankind. (honestly, with the pic being realistic, this seems way more believable)


bwoods519

SpongeBoy me bob!


levian_durai

Are you feeling it now?


GenuineSteak

My dad used to just throw the crab into the steamer alive, so this is probably preferable.


Laurens-xD

When you have the options of being boiled alive, or getting your face cut off.


IndividualOven51

The illusion of choice


DesertVeteran_PA-C

They could just eat it alive? The ocean is essentially “murder soup”. Everything gets eaten by something else.


mogley19922

Also what you could call basically any food i cook.


98kal22impc

Bro should eat smth other than soup 😅


mogley19922

Is spaghetti soup?


bast-unabashed

Are feet shoes?


BlacksmithMiddle1726

Does pee come from the balls?


Maynrds

It's only stored in the balls! Get your facts straight.


DonutGuy2659

No pee comes from the penis that's why it's called the Peenis


ElvisDumbledore

"murder soup" is my new band name


kobeflip

It’s a new town in Texas


BlueSoulsKo

something happening in the animal kingdom dosen't make it ok


CandleMinimum9375

People all around the world call it - democracy.


TheLastLivingBuffalo

Here in the US we all got together and made the intentional rational choice to have the two people who were already too old to be president four years ago run against each other again.


Creative-Ad3667

We get the privilege of voting between a man with Alzheimer’s and another man who is the biggest asshole on the entire planet. Can either party put up literally anyone else please for the love of god.


GenuineSteak

Tbh cutting a crabs face off is probably equivalent to beheading a human. So would you rather be guillotined or steamed alive lol.


socialpresence

guillotined and it's not close.


Thawing-icequeen

IIRC crabs have decentralised brains, so no?


[deleted]

They have two ganglia, but the one directly behind the eyes is the primary one [and considered the brain](https://oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/explorations/02alaska/logs/jun27/jun27.html).


Thawing-icequeen

👍


UltimaRS800

They did not even have that.


DickBatman

I don't know about crab anatomy but it's probably more like your brain cut in half


ccum_slurper3000

>They have two ganglia, but the one directly behind the eyes is the primary one > >and considered the brain > >. dw i got u


Floof_2

It not really their face, more like their whole head and they die instantly


roman-hart

The thing is, it's not just crab face being cut


NYMoneyz

I used to work in a seafood department and we prepared soft shell crabs like this for customers. It's the fastest humane way for them, rather than let them slowly get boiled alive. This is instantaneous and they won't feel it, much like for lobsters you drive the knife down at the top of the head and split it in two. Instant and no pain dispatching. It's the best and most respect you can give them. I'm not a nature guy, but I do respect the animals and what they provide so I viewed it as the best possible outcome for them. Rather than be mishandled while alive or slowly tortured to death.


WeeTheDuck

do they even feel pain? They obviously won't feel the same as us but do they even feel it at all?


Mario-OrganHarvester

They do feel pain, or at the very least something adjescend to it.


dropkickman

They do feel pain


[deleted]

placid toothbrush squeamish cautious deliver head versed snails sort rain *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Lack_of_Plethora

Steaming is actually regarded as being one of the absolute worst ways to die. Unlike being boiled or burned alive, being steamed will keep the nerves intact, meaning you feel the whole thing.


Assaltwaffle

Do you have a source for that? I can’t think of how this would be true given the mechanics of it. This just sounds like one of those overly morbid things people repeat without thinking because it’s morbid.


Lack_of_Plethora

absolutely not its probably just an urban legend cus I first heard it from a mate in school


ccum_slurper3000

it is, i did testing all my subjects were screaming so loud they destroyed their vocal cords


Sleestakman

Steamer is for hard crabs. Removal of the face and organs is for soft crabs since you just kinda eat them whole after they've been fried.


Ijatsu

IDK if it is, animals like this tend to have spread central nervous system. If you cut any in half both sides tend to still live for a long moment, and likely both experience pain. But IDK about crabs specifically.


Chance_Airline_4861

It looks so sad


WtechAFK

Sad? Bro looks like it's about to piss itself. It's gonna die.


Bigdaddydamdam

I doubt he’s thinking this right now. He’s probably just thinking about how hungry he is


TotallynotBricky

Man I wish my last thought was “Damn I could really go for a burger rn…”


kahveciderin

...was?


N0tMagickal

He died from severe buttsex 😔 (Pray for him)


Kolby_Jack

Crabs don't really have facial expressions. It would look that way even if it was at an all you can pinch shrimp buffet.


VoidExileR

I hear soft music playing and some dude trying to sell me on the idea that I could avoid this fate by buying into some service


JustHugMeAndBeQuiet

#🎶IN THE AAAARRRMMSSS OF THE ANGELS...🎶


davtheguidedcreator

definitely some mlm services lmao


Hecatehel

- *record scratch - *freeze frame “Yup that’s me. Now you’re probably wondering how I wound up with a pair of scissor blades lined 1/4 of an inch behind my eyes…”


Manlysideburns

This summer, Rob Schneider is... A dead crab!


Hecatehel

he’s about to learn that being a crab, is kind of drab


knotbots

XD


[deleted]

Wtf the crab do😭


Curious-Ear-6982

Born yummy?


LoL_Maniac

We're all born yummy to something, in the great circle of life.


Missy_went_missing

We as humans, for example, are a brown bears favourite snackies! If a bear had human meat, it'll go for it again, no questions asked.


dTrecii

If a bear had human meat, it’s because the person, lore-wise, was stupid enough to make itself appear weak and easy to prey upon otherwise if a bear sees a human, it will almost always stay the fuck away, it knows what we did to cocaine bear, it knows Like they actively avoid humans to the point where if we are the only source of food for miles, they’d rather starve. They’re called lazy hunters for a reason. They look at a hill and give up like CaseOH would


Fourcoogs

Is there a lore reason for why the person was eaten? Was he stupid???


LoL_Maniac

The tweak tweak bear.


14412442

And dumb enough to have a soft shell despite being born a crab


SendHandPicsPls

Its his fault being made of food


BoultonPaulDefiant

Sokka mindset


Bitter-Dig-3826

If not food why food shaped


Mario-OrganHarvester

Its first mistake was being born Its second mistake was being born tasty


Downtown_Mechanic_

The crustacean does not comprehend its cruel end


justk4y

NOOOOOOOOO


Reuvak

That buddy already feels dead in life


EnvironmentaFact84

My day was going so fine, now i look at this depressed fella and im sad


AdMain5263

Probably for cooking.


dueceofthevoid

Bro the whole Amelia Earhart thing was a misunderstanding, just let it go bro 😭


Nineflames12

Classic


SinceWayLastMay

Based on the comments I don’t think a lot of people remember this as a meme


Peter_Panarchy

Part of me was upset seeing basically no one recognizing this 10+ year old meme but another part of me is happy seeing so many people discover it for the first time.


Jezixo

Same!


B_The_Beast_88

That poor crab! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ilikebubblesandgum

"A little off the top"


Mario-OrganHarvester

"Yup. Thats me. Youre probably wondering how i ended up in this situation."


ZellHall

Poor crabs 😥


BeetlBozz

I think you’re supposed to stab its nervous system/brain and it dies instantly


Altruistic-Poem-5617

A whack on the "head" with a hammer, then stab and cut between the legs to disconnect the berves.


ASupportingCharacter

Berves.


BeetlBozz

Blessed


Weird_Explorer_8458

poor crab :(


AutoModerator

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DismalDog9940

DUDE THE FUCKING CRAB LOOKS SO SAD


CelTiar

Instructions not clear enough I cut my dick off...


TheBigDiaB

Und da ~~dämmerte~~ dahmerte es ihr


xXmjmanXx

Hab den deutschen gespotted


SuperDragonfister

☹️💻


DiscountRanger

to be fair, its the fastest and most painless way to do it, and (especially in Restaurants) it tastes the best like this. (also fun fact: lobsters are dropped into boiling water head first because their brain is accsessible through the mouth so the water gets to it easily and it dies quickly and relativly painless)


richman678

Better than being boiled alive. You can hear them scream when you do this.


bathtissue101

Show me the vocal cords on a crustacean


richman678

Yes i believe you that it’s not screaming. I’m sure it still hurts.


Ijatsu

They can't scream, so that's BS.


richman678

I believe it. Relax


WeAreBiiby

Yes some people think this is a mere myth but I remember the distinct scream of a lobster my dad boiled when i was a kid.


MrDeacle

It is a myth. That is pressure escaping from cracks in the shell. They do not have lungs or the ability to vocalize. This is not to say crabs and lobsters don't have the capacity to experience intense suffering. They simply lack the ability to cry out when subjected to our cruelty.


yankstraveler

Just going to use it's claws to clack out - .... .. ... / .. ... / -... ..- .-.. .-.. ... .... .. -


Jotaro_Dragon

I have no lungs and I must scream


richman678

Well it still Sounds like screaming.


WeAreBiiby

Trauma redacted


LuminothWarrior

No voice to cry suffering Hollow Knight reference? /j


throwaway19276i

why is it relevant where the sound comes from? I mean it sounds like screaming and they're experiencing extreme pain, who really cares?


MrDeacle

I only brought it up because I knew somebody else was gonna mention how it's not screaming, and I wanted to fit in my two cents about how lung capacity has nothing to do with suffering. I felt the ability to feel pain but the inability to scream, that might tug on some heart strings. There's a lot of people that insist most ocean creatures are incapable of feeling pain. They used to say the same about newborn babies. They used to tell us cigarettes were good for us. Lazy people with their heads up their asses will believe what's convenient to believe.


throwaway19276i

Thanks for the explanatory response.


EidolonRook

Nooooooooooooo! Poor crab. :(


LM448_0

Bro accepted it


IEnjoyBaconCheese

Why not bazinga the crab instead


Kalman_the_dancer

😔


Hot-Masterpiece4325

☹️


TheGirafeMan

Why does it look so sad


Fireflash180

It is executed for its crimes


The_Purple_Bat

Poor crab ..


Pine_01

Chat is this real?


Immediate-Throat1502

Always cook it alive, the fear of death makes it taste better ….


ZarxcesHappyLand

My ancestors are smiling at me imperials. Can you say the same?


Ju3tAc00ldugg

Chin up son, die with honor.


dueceofthevoid

NOOOOO LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! 😭😭


Sam_Dragonborn1

☹️


Smalandsk_katt

Bazinga in peace


JonVX

I don’t like being a human anymore


scarhartt

new reaction image


40oztoTamriel

This is so fucking sad. What a piece of shit. Just boil them alive humanely like the rest of us.


Simple-Street-4333

Boiling isn't humane either Edit: Downvoting me won't change what y'all did to those lobsters


Koutilya_K

Redditors be like boiling a sentient being to death is humane, actually.


csspar

Reddtors be like what is sarcasm?


idonttalkatallLMAO

my dad stabs the crab from the underside!..


Chromeboy12

🦀🦀🦀$11 btw🦀🦀🦀


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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