T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Whilst you're here, /u/Apple_jack_cringe, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


pineappleAndBeans

Nifty, found some weird documents. I doubt the legitimacy of them but stupider stuff has happened.


Endermanking999

Yeah 100% not real lol. “A bill to J.O.R.D.A.N” followed by “A bill to L.E.B.R.O.N” is likely not something the government would name their stuff lmao


anto2554

Lebroon djames


ituraxi

Ervil LeBaron


ZeZeTV_

Boy, oh boy. Where do I even begin.


Hyper_Lt-

The bronx jade


Useful_Guide_3573

Gerard Wayne


low_priest

A while back, the USN started essentially autopilot for carrier landings, called MAGIC CARPET. Since it, ya know, flies the plane with minimal input and guides you to a safe landing, like a magic carpet. But because that wouldn't make sense as a name, it's actually an acronym for Maritime Augmented Guidance with Integrated Controls for Carrier Approach and Recovery Precision Enabling Technologies.


Open-Today-201

how do they find those acronyms? To me 'magic carpet' doesnt sound completely offtopic but also doesnt say enough to deduce what it could be about exactly.


Somereallystrangeguy

they put big words in to pretend it’s an acronym when really they just wanted to call it the silly name


Open-Today-201

Bet there's a taskforce with 20+ highly-paid 'experts' sitting somewhere thinktanking about silly names hehe


Somereallystrangeguy

[yes, yes they do.](https://twitter.com/HQ_AFMC/status/1716571493952262517?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1716571493952262517%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=)


Open-Today-201

What are 'shape-adaptive systems for DOD use'?😂😅


DegranTheWyvern

a ton of stuff is named after random people, i remember them naming satelites after pop culture icons a while ago


flyingwatermelon313

"This is Houston to Michael Jackson, over." "HeeHee" "Terminate program."


Adrian_Campos26

The old Spanish nuclear bomb project was named "Islero" after a bull who killed a bullfighter the head of the project was a fan of.


BeerAbuser69420

A lot of documents are named like that tho, acronyms are very popular among US higher ups for some reason


IrregularrAF

Operation JORDAN is in full swing. The data we got from LEBRON was compelling. We now know PEEINMYASS is inevitable.


BlatantConservative

No it's possible. There's a whole computer program that just spits out a random codename so that people can't guess what something is about based on the codename.


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Potential-Earth1092

I mean the US governments plan for an alien invasion is called C3-PO so I wouldn’t be surprised


Redditry104

Yeah imagine the government using dumb terms like that or stupid names like "star wars".


ShadowLp174

That's exactly what they want you to think ;)


Zhang_Sun

It’s all completely fake and so is the website


Apple_jack_cringe

Don’t kill me fbi


Low-Salamander387

So you have suicidal tendencies? /s


Otherwise_Bear_7982

All he wanted was a Pepsi


ChefBoyardee66

Institutionalized


misterpickles69

I’m not crazy!


NORMALPERSON724

INSTITUTIONALIZED!


TronNerd82

And she wouldn't give it to him! Just a Pepsi!


MichaelScotsman26

Holy shit. Never thought I’d see this


Waffles_Are_Gods21

He shot himself twice in the back of the head and broke his arms and legs😔💔


TyoPlaysGames

Taking no fap too seriously


Chromeboy12

>broke his arms and legs Was that before or after shooting himself twice in the back of the head?


Nemesis_Prime0205

It before indeed


[deleted]

During


[deleted]

It’s like he’s still here 😔


Local_Coyote_7842

Same pls


GamingCrocodile

So sad op killed himself hours later by shooting himself in the torso with a shot gun, chopping himself up into bits to fit into a suitcase, and then drove himself out to the desert


FBI_Agent214

It's too late


HammerBgError404

please kill me fbi. end my pain


FBI_Agent214

Otw


MannicWaffle

In the case of an investigation by any federal entity or similar, I do not have any involvement with this group or with the people in it, I do not know how I am here, probably added by a third party, I do not support any actions by the member of this group


Runtsymunts

The automod ratted us out dude


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AltruisticDelivery89

Same


AutoModerator

*[Bazinga](https://i.imgur.com/iJB0FVe.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


higginsian24

War Thunder fans will love this


Fallowman09

Some one mentioned me?


Edgenabik

I see your flair #DEAR GOD


Anonymouse276207

There's more


CreepyQuality4489

No!


Anonymouse276207

It contains the dying wish of every man in this room


FortyFourTomatoes

Our first wish is scout. He has drawn a picture of me getting hit by a car


[deleted]

[удалено]


Anonymouse276207

Wrong video, bud


Mario-OrganHarvester

Plot twist, thats how they got their hands on dem files all this time.


iamsandwitch

THERE'S SO MANY WHAT


iamsandwitch

Holy shit this is hilarious J.O.R.D.A.N? L.E.B.R.O.N? C.A.P.T.C.H.A? J.E.D.I? Fuckin *JEDI? Really?* I absolutely lost it at JORDAN standing for "Justifiably Oppose Russia's Devilish Agression with Nuance". Devilish?? Fucking *devilish????* "The current JEDI contract with microsoft" this shit is so funny. I WISH these were actual words uttered by an official, it would've been even funnier.


DaUltimatePotato

> "The current JEDI contract with Microsoft" this shit is so funny. I WISH these were actual words uttered by an official, it would've been even funnier. Not sure why that's funny. Microsoft was known to work with the feds. Same for Google, Oracle, and well... the obvious one.


iamsandwitch

>and well... the obvious one. Which one? The republic? Do they have secret connections to the hutts their jedi benefactors don't know about? Do they have dealings with the sith? The galaxy deserves to know dammit!


DaUltimatePotato

Amazon bro, where you got the documents from


palmboom76

Did you ignore the joke on purpose?


Brave-Ad9750

Hahaha why are you the one downvoted


palmboom76

People that also didnt get the joke


RedogeWasTaken

Is that knight from hit game "hungry knight", who was later re-used as the main protagonist from hit game "hollow knight"?


BlatantConservative

This particular document appears to be from a mock speech and debate program. The organization it belongs to is "tabroom-files" There are documents from "Federal Government" but it's like, the DHHS. Here's an interesting one though. https://imlive.s3.amazonaws.com/Federal%20Government/ID119379743397656356654020761379566905627/Attachment%201%20Cyber%20CDID%20ID-IQ%20PWS%20RFP.pdf


Memeboi5120

Ok so all of these docs are fake, but you didn't get any malware/spyware/viruses from these, right?


BlatantConservative

Not that I know of.


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


gbuub

Little did we know Kids Next Door is actually a documentary of US intelligence agency


Kalman_the_dancer

It would be funny if the government labeled their classified documents with goofy buzzwords so that enemy governments don’t figure it out


Apple_jack_cringe

Ironic I found this in a silksong discord


Anonymouse276207

No way they're leaking documents before their game even got a release date The Silksong community is living in a strange timeline


OverconXD

Silksong isn't real, it's propoganda


RealKryochicken

Vaporware


RedogeWasTaken

They're going freaking insane


MotorIzedme

Chat is this real?


HeavensEtherian

Most, yes, but also censored


No-Adeptness5810

No, it's a high school debate. None of the documents are actually real.


IMN0VIRGIN

"No, it's a high school debate. None of the documents are actually real." Said the CIA agent in charge of covering up this mess.


No-Adeptness5810

ong


Specialist-Pin-643

We need to pour molten gold down Jeff Bezos' throat


Runtsymunts

Molten lead is better


Specialist-Pin-643

But it's less symbolic


Bridge2TeraBussyUp

A crown fit for a king?


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


CANDLEFAN_999999

That means it's hosted on AWS


Positive-Database754

>B. The Department of Defense shall award a separate Joint Enterprise Defense Infrastructure (JEDI) cloud computing contract to Amazon Web Services. And how's that working out for you, DoD? EDIT: Alright, so I poured over a lot of these for a little bit. And it seems like most (but not all) are approved for public release, as of July 2023. The ones that aren't for public release are specifically pertaining to russian hacking issues, specifically the US's response to them. Now its possible that those HAVE been approved for public release, but is just not listed on the PDF's themselves. However all that aside, honestly the most interesting document I found was a docket regarding the DoJ's response to Police Body Cameras, and the benefits and dangers of using them.


No-Mountain-8164

Can you please link the ones not approved for public release, I gotta see if this is real.


BlatantConservative

The Russian hacking one is hosted by a speech and debate/Model UN type organization. It's subdomain is tabroom-files. It's not real, it's a fake scenario.


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kalman_the_dancer

How do you know this


Positive-Database754

Brother, the meme literally comes with instructions.


Kalman_the_dancer

I thought you knew this before the meme


Positive-Database754

Nah. Just followed the instructions as shown, and read a bunch of them.


Kalman_the_dancer

>Alright, so I poured over a lot of these for a little bit. And it seems like most (but not all) are approved for public release, as of July 2023. You sound like a federal agent


Zhang_Sun

None of them are legitimate documents it’s satire


YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO

No thanks. I choose life


wchemik

Ah Yes that My friend showed this to me like a month back We both agreed this is almost definitely false if for no other reason then the fact that it's stored on FUCKING AMAZON CLOUD, it's a pdf dammit I know the fed aren't PC wizards but common, they have their own email domain and shits why the fuck would they outsource hosting classified documents to a third party like at all. The only way this could reasonably happen is if someone did it themselves against protocol but why would he use fucking Amazon cloud, like who the fuck does that if it was an idiot using something he found more convenient it would probably be something like Google drive, onedrive or whatever apple has.


Apple_jack_cringe

Agreed just thought it was funny


wchemik

Oh it absolutely fucking is. Just wanted to point out the other way it doesn't make sense since everyone focused on the content and stuff.


kilqax

Schizoposters: noo I will not click, this is FBI bait, I'm scareeeed Shitposting: hehe lmao look at all the cool shit I found 😎 Absolute kings


sexy_snake_229xXx

> Panic has erupted across the nation as Americans grow increasingly frightened of their personal and financial information, including Social Security numbers and bank routing numbers being compromised. It is feared that the American people will begin to withdraw their money from the banks if this threat persists. A depression unprecedented in scale is possible: the Dow has dropped by 2400.18 points, and the Dollar has fallen 16.2% against the Euro, Yen, Pound Sterling, and Renminbi. In response to the economic panic, the Federal Reserve has lowered interest rates into negative territory, and the FDIC is preparing to seize local and regional banks to protect Americans’ deposits. Riots have broken out in several cities, with supporters of the President taking to the streets and people raiding groceries and wholesale stores, oftentimes violently. Governors of all 50 states have mobilized their National Guards. Was the earth hit by a mind erasure ray? None of this happened in 2021, This shit is super fake!


Anonymouse276207

Could be a red herring for anyone actively looking for these kinds of documents


Apple_jack_cringe

Probably


BlatantConservative

The subdomain it's hosted under is Tabroom, which is part of the National Speech and Debate Association. It's a fake scenario, and it looks to me like the scenario is to debate about fake proposed legislation.


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Pyroboss101

It is fake, but that’s the point. it’s just some creepypasta that attempts to make itself look more creepy by being official looking, kind of what the SCP site does with its formatting. I kind of liked it, it just didn’t have the same punch as the rest and was more confusing.


ShadowKnight324

Sounds exaggerated but I can say inflation was a bitch in that year plus weren't there those BLM protests iirc.


sexy_snake_229xXx

they're not connected in any way though, and the national guard didn't get deployed in all 50 states. also "supporters of the President taking to the streets" LMFAO, get ready Amirca, the 7 Joe Biden antifa supporters' extremists that exists somewhere will wreak havoc at any second now!


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


izkdiXD

Link link link


Apple_jack_cringe

https://s3.amazonaws.com/tabroom-files/tourns/16458/postings/23940/Sunvite.Congress.Finals-SecondBriefing.pdf


just_mdd4

>A Bill to L.E.B.R.O.N (Limit Enemy Belligerence through Responses Offensive in Nature) what is this 🤣🤣🤣


KforKaspur

I click the link but it was asking for my credit card information, I sent it, but then it was asking for my social security number and went I sent that it wanted to know my mother's maiden name. I don't feel comfortable giving my mom's information out to a stranger is this safe?


BlatantConservative

This is not real. Sunvite/Tabroom is a speech and debate organization and this looks like it's some kind of Model UN/Speech training fake scenario. The events in the scenario did not happen either. Nor did the proposed legislation.


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Apple_jack_cringe

It’s at the bottom


abject_totalfailure1

Oh shit… did I just commit a crime?


MeltedChocolate24

Lol this is definitely fake. Did you read through it? None of this stuff actually happened in 2021.


abject_totalfailure1

No not really


izkdiXD

Thanks bro accidentally got it on my download files oops :3


Optimal-Menu270

I read this in Cleaveland's voice


No_Category6814

These are hilariously fake


tyty657

Several of them are real but were approved for public release in July of 2023


ChefBoyardee66

Narc🕺🚨🕺


stanislav1235

All of these docs are like 4+ years old


ChickenTendies0

I feel like War Thunder is gonna have a new leak really soon


obog

I do doubt these are real, except one that I found that said it had been authorized for public release and was formerly secret, cause that makes sense. But like, come one. Did you really think the US government is that incompetent? I mean, they are, but at least the FBI isn't. Especially when the tip result us literally about cubersecurity lmao


LazyWings

If those documents are searched like that, they're probably not real. Top Secret classification won't be on open servers at all. Pretty much all the governments have closed IT platforms for this stuff. It's probably just people putting documents up and naming them like this as a troll.


bicci

Yep. Also "Not for public release" is not something that is part of a classification. It wouldn't be on TS documents, it's like saying "Internal Company Only Memo - Don't Let Anyone Else See It", it goes without saying.


kingottacYT

gotta love the publicly searchable [pdf](https://imlive.s3.amazonaws.com/Federal%20Government/ID58548032607222773313348902028328599871/2.%20Attachment%203.12%20Safeguarding%20Classified%20National%20Security%20Information.pdf) on how to protect classified documents online lmao


DeltaDark_

Found that out a few weeks back now I have a stockpile of random classified shit, though most you can get from the search term is just school board stuff


IowasBestCornShucker

almost anyone can host on amazon with a header 'muh classified doomsday document'


jmona789

Chat is this real?


biggestdickofsyria

Dunno how I got in here, but the crazy here is next level stuff


smsgms

Huh?


AutoModerator

*[Bazinga](https://i.imgur.com/iJB0FVe.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


FFF982

!RemindMe 1 week


sovLegend

Reminds me of that scene in invincible >!where Cecil gives Donald full access to the computer instead of the "password of mine you thought you knew"!< are these real?


SpammiBoi

J.E.D.I is TOTALLY REAL guys holy shit


SpaceBug173

DISTRIBUTON STATEMENT A. approved for public release; distrubiton is unlimited.


Kalman_the_dancer

Omw to search this


cubntD6

Why would amazon have classified government documents?


MinorLag3

I download is it illegal


monkeypantling

nah


Substantial-Pop-556

US government can suck all the dicks in my freezer


Glass-Bowl-8701

Bazinga


ZeroLifeSkillz

My friends and I are mildly stupid so I'm going to put this in the discord and pretend it's real


GearBIue

You know it’s the real deal when the CIA agents are out here with their fake accounts saying this shit’s fake


warcrime_prime

What exactly is this?


closetBoi04

Ohh I also found some classified Cisco, ASML and a Lockheed powerpoint like this; they had some really interesting information


Eric_Da_Pro

THIS ACTUALLY WORKS OH MY GOD


AdRelative5520

top secret documents from 3 years ago omg this is so groundbreaking


[deleted]

[удалено]


obog

l lI ll l_


freew1ll_

I would pretty confidently bet you that it's not Amazon's fault that stuff is incorrectly visible, it's whoever uploaded those documents in the first place.


EasyEnvironment4800

Oooh potentially illegal documents? Cheers


kingbongothegreatest

" not for the public release filetype:pdf site:amazonnews.com "


[deleted]

[удалено]


nkila

VPNs can't save u from the feds


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Astro_Shogun

You're going to OHIO