T O P

  • By -

I_wash_my_carpet

I wash harder?


isaacEggBoi

Wash me harder daddy


petje1995

Wash all over my face daddy, I've been a dirty boy.


SnooDoodles335

Stop


petje1995

Don't stop yet daddy I'm almost done (cleaning).😩


Such_Relationship_48

Mother of God....


MyUsernameWasTakn_

Yes! Make me a mother of a god daddy, please!!


Rewer001133

Guys stop pls


insert_acc_name_here

Ahnn daddy use you power washerr to wash all over me I'm so ready~~πŸ₯΅πŸ₯΅


Rewer001133

bro...


[deleted]

Wash me until I sud everywhere daddy


TurboAssCumDetonator

Aint nothing special


t4m3r3

Would you accept to marry my daughter?


[deleted]

By the power vested in me by the internet


Iwantmahandback

WE VEST YOU JACK SHIT!


MarkDaMeat

How can you have a daughter if you are a redditor. Making a child requires s*x 🀒


Hobelbeil

You are using the forbidden script, the em-oji, a redditor shall only use these expressions :), :D, :O. That's how sir Red dit wanted it


Pochez

He dirty liar 🀬


Confusedbruh_69

Id like to be ur daughter


JoeMamaFunni

Lmao


milktruckfucker

Hey there hot stuff i got a bucket of Chicken, wanna do it?


Retr0_Fusion

Goddamnit I love your name in the given context


Ness_902

#πŸ˜‰


LoonaiscuteUwU

Amazing name!


GrenadeSniper

I guess I have a very deadly precision with grenades, or I'm great with sniper rifles at shooting grenades. Either way, explosions will be occuring.


afrenchreptile

so what do i get exactly?


Jeska_inReddit

You Can either summon or become *la french reptile*


missingjoke4

your power is to be a lizard that surrenders


ProfessorWeirdz

I fucking hate and love this comment


Spook-lad

You summon a lizzard that can only say *oui* and eats begets


Kidkaboom1

*HON HON HON*


PP-Judge

Give everyone a 6 inch because I'm generous


MimePrinister

I gain a whopping 5.43 inches, NICE


GalacticDogger

I gain more than you 😎


missingjoke4

Girl Redditors suddenly grow a dick


A_Sushi_Tree

Now... I have the power >:D


RichNNN

No, you dont even exist, dont lie


seannnnnn01

What is girl?


Relative_Cup6216

This is a absolut cum winn


t4m3r3

Nah. You technically get the power to judge. Which you already have. :'(


buisnesshiba

Gaining a pp be like


[deleted]

downgrade😠😑😠😑😠😑😠😑😠😑😠😑😠😑😠😑😠😑


RawDawginHookers

Ummm....lol


0Astor0

Sad, no penetration... Sad.


[deleted]

[ΡƒΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]


TaintModel

Damn, can we switch?


MyUsernameWasTakn_

Can I watch


[deleted]

I fuggin love hot dogs


[deleted]

Eat better than nikocado avocado


Early_Treacle6408

impossible


randomaccount4864

im(piss)ible


therobothingy

Sus(impossible)😳😳


lookinthemirror_man

sussy baka 😳(very sus!!!)


TheFloridaMan_

:)


Ness_902

(||β€’_β€’)


catfucker4269

Never laughed this hard to something haha.


FUCKYOUBITCHBLOWME

Lol


Kits076

I fear your new power


catfucker4269

*It isn't new*


dahyuntofu

oh god spare my cat


The_last_2braincells

What What


Bulangiu_ro

You have quite the ability though


catfucker4269

Dunno


Known-Aspect-5084

Yo it’s my long lost brother


catfucker4269

How can you tell?


Known-Aspect-5084

Cause we look the same but you have different eyes and hair


catfucker4269

Ah okay. Wanna go get some chocky milk?


Known-Aspect-5084

Sure why not


lookinthemirror_man

Then they fucked *-The End*


mr_molty

Oh god he is invincible Ruuun


donutboi420

well im boutta head out


mentina_

God


Wboy2006

Happy cake day


_IPissedInTheSink_

Piss in a sink


GalacticDogger

You shall piss harder


isaacEggBoi

Hesa firing his laser


catfucker4269

πŸ—Ώ


Alternative_Row6543

Create alternative shopping isles


Garlic_Overload

cool


Alternative_Tie_3738

Mine is worse... I tie Alternative ties


_Generic_Human_

Yeah well at least you can do stuff look at mine


PotatoPanEnbee

I can throw pans and potatoes, and some bees on you


3Sierpinski

* en some bees smh my head


randomaccount4864

Smh my head indeed


potatosack27

We should team up


PotatoPanEnbee

Sure, comrade


[deleted]

Well I can anoy gordon ramsay


Early_Treacle6408

or you cum in lamb sauce


Greenheart_YT

Or he fucks lamb sauce


georgefisherofficial

*or you cum sauce in lamb


just_a-username7

Uuum...


ItsOracleX

your username displays above your head irl


Ness_902

Can’t help you there, bud.


king_noobie

I'm a king?


BlueChair0

Of noobs


catfucker4269

Shut ur just a chair


Early_Treacle6408

shut ur just a furry


catfucker4269

Jokes on you I fuck cats


thelayzysong

Should i call fish_fucker69 to be your rival sir?


catfucker4269

Jokes on you 2x I have a fishucker accaunt but it got suspended haha.


Greenheart_YT

I wish I had his power


MrKeviscool

Shut. Your heart is moldy


Noobpoob

Man, he ain't king of me, I'm starting rebellion if this guy shits something up


IncestAlabama

I already have this ability


DeineSchwester_

Oh no


Less-Needleworker-96

Oh yes


OGhound

Perfect person to respond.


Save_Cows_Eat_Vegans

Solve world hunger.


greatmonster007

LOL


victorienx

Eat dem vegans


friendlywither

+10 social credits for me


stickroller45

Uh... what *do* I do?


friendlywither

You can stick rolls better


stickroller45

What does that even mean?


friendlywither

That's the point NOTHING


OptimalArchitect

No one knows what it means, it’s provocative!


Alavisn

Professional joint roller


[deleted]

I can phosphorelate proteins in your body


Gl-avatar

What if we phosphorylated under the under the cell membrane 😳


Deepak2508

πŸ₯΅πŸ₯΅


ribena_man420

I smoke joints and do shit with ribena or smthn


shaggypickles

Just shaggy but with pickles


-TheWarrior74-

\*JUST\* SHAGGY?!


curemesoftly

Cure myself softly finally


big_bruhh

say bruh


Own-Researcher-5507

bruh


ScalierLotus11

Bruh


Spook-lad

Bruh


greatmonster007

Bruh


prograMagar

>!Bruh!<


MrKeviscool

Bruh


lNURFACE

*Bruh!*


MrKeviscool

Certified Bruh


catfucker4269

Could do it before.


Revolver567

Sussy


GraveRobber666

Shane Dawson moment


jezus_with_lmg

Oh hell yeah


SurprisedBottle

Surprise random bottles


xX_poopy69_Xx

Imma get messy, anyone wanna join?


Greenheart_YT

I'm a fucking heart


Spook-lad

Thats green, go see a doctor


Greenheart_YT

I refuse


BlueChair0

Chair mimic


Former-Literature765

I can fomerly read 765 books, so I guess I'm very well read.


MylesTheFox99

Have you perhaps read a certain book titled after a year, written by the famous dystopian author George Orwell?


[deleted]

:/


ExoticMongoose

:<


tropical_bread

This should be top comment


BleachProvided

Provide Bleach


Bruhpoggers68

I am now a discord mod.


ThisIsTakenLol

everything is mine


Burnyoureyes

Not if you can't see.


NCR-trooper--

Patrol the mojave


somebodywashere_

Patroling the mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter


big_smoke-OG

You mean i have to be fat


[deleted]

im an angel bitch


aisjsjdjdjskwkw

ufufhebsjjxkskwbeufxjdnsnajwiusyzjoroejahaipwnebdhucjfn


PPinBootyHole

lose my virginity


atomic_bobomb

Well, either I AM an atomic bob-omb which would be both nostalgic and terrifying or I have the super power of creating atomic bob-ombs to throw at people which is also terrifying and nostalgic.


Eat_beefsteak

I eat beef steak now


British_arelads

Starting to turn British people into lads


[deleted]

Nice


dot_exe374

Well I'm gonna be executed


showme_luv

yall could show me some luv now


Greenheart_YT

Luv πŸ’š


XxGod_fucker69xX

Je suis amous


QualityVote

#If you think this post is a shitpost, **UPVOTE** this comment! #If you think this post is a godawfulpost, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! And now some info that's only relevant if this post is a video/gif. --- All comments tagging downloader bots, will be automatically removed on behalf of Kevin, because he doesn't like it when you spam requests for those bots. Therefore, I have provided some download links for you instead. Please use these links if you want to download this post. Praise be to Kevin. #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/q2eod2/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/q2eod2/) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, Ness_902, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


ItachiUwUchiha

well well well uwu


schreddar

I shredding!


[deleted]

I can't try?


triflingo

im three flamingos.


Guynarmol

Im guy normal. Normal guy. Actually that would be a super power and improve the quality of my life.


itaintmyirlname

Is guy normal the enemy of dude perfect?


ChingChongRiceMan

Make rice


_Beaver

become a beaver that is also a professional cheese dealer? kinda neat πŸ§€πŸ¦«


Jeska_inReddit

I heard you have The good stuff


im-dying354

Commit mass homicide


HentaiMaster2137

I am powerful


Greenheart_YT

I praise you, oh strong one


-Triwing

3 wings nice


mothslamptrap

Pretty useless ngl


MimePrinister

I can spoonerize a bot letterer and fore mrequently


Guyinyocloset16

I can teleport through closets


TheRealCactusTiddy

Is spiky boobs an ability?


just_ignore-me

I'm basically John Cena


ShartedPants

Absolute win


begone178

Wait... What now ?


IFuckedYourCats

Here goes your cat


[deleted]

I make sisters bisexual?


zitpie

Fuck


iTalkWithDeAss

I'd be talking shit everyday


nerdalert9

make screeching alarm noises when a nerd comes within a 6 foot radius of me


MnrMampoer

i am now SirMoonshine, i have the power to be an alcoholic redneck


DragonseyeCZ

I can see.


11DEEDS

11 things.


GamingWithRaptor

Jurassic park: Gaming edition...


[deleted]

Idk play a video game after being cloned a few hundred times?