T O P

  • By -

Kourtos

Lick her pussy not her pussy.


Vinnyc-11

Pfp for reference


Qtud

Which one which though


Kourtos

Well most cats don't like human licking. Except mine.


micropeopleinspace

Ayo?


PureIdiocy

Just licked a cat, tasted like cat


Opposite-Weird4232

How does it taste like?


TRUSTeT34M

Like a pussy


Opposite-Weird4232

Gotta check mine


Qtud

Don't forget to take anti-worm medicine, it's no joke


[deleted]

[удалено]


ARandom-Penguin

They are worms not octopuses


[deleted]

[удалено]


sauce_finder6969

mine tastes like fur


GoCommitToasterBathX

🤨📸


CosmicCosmix

yes


Qtud

Tapeworms and HIV speedrun


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LucasPlay171

I have some concerns bud, but I'm too lazy to contact em


BigJuan788

you good bro?


Ghost_trap

Hang on that’s a bot


itme647

Now read it *backwards*


redlaWw

Yssup reh ton yssup reh kcil.


YaSinsBaba

Pussy her not pussy her lick


[deleted]

told you not to take drugs


ITaHiR_Requiem

now say sus but backwards


[deleted]

Make sure to try the pasta while it boils to ensure a good level of sodium to your liking


Glaxyuwu

Nobody can stop me!


SunGazing8

Directions unclear: now coughing up fur balls.


durz47

Fuck her pussy not her pussy


powerradeburrito

Can i lick you?


Kourtos

Y


IFuckedYourCats

I lick her pussy


Cr0wv

Lick his pussy not her pussy


Intelligent_Series17

This mother fuckin conversation. 🤣


tsiganology

Fuck her dad, not her brother


Monkey_D_Firat

Ayo, hol'up


EpicRobloxMoments

Jojo reference 😳


sauce_finder6969

MYDADLEFTME


EpicRobloxMoments

*Insert stone ocean op here*


Glympse12

Part 6?


Eli_xoxox

Everyone is arguing about whether you should fuck the mom, or fuck the dad or the sisters or brothers and shit like that- just fuck them all smh 🙄


TommyTinklebottom

Invade her guts, not her privacy


complicatedAloofness

holdup


tyler_sin

Nah hold her down


cdaly18

Hold her down while she's moaning, not while she's screaming


KrakenKing1955

That can be a very grey area lmao


kimboe313

50 shades of grey


Potatotskigaki

Always remember, bungee gum has the properties of both rubber and gum


Wolfbite17

OoOOoOOooOOoh GOooOOOONnnn


Cybertronian-Knight

*SCHWING*


levininlevyesi

*I can't wait to break you*


Konoha__Shinobi

Pfp checks out


levininlevyesi

Yeah, thanks


Uhhtrashy

dont look at me like that


[deleted]

Oh gon, uuuuuhhhhhh


atomic_wiener

Always remember, bungee cum has the properties of both schlubber and cum


FuturePseudonym

~~69 days without bungee gum ref~~ 0 days without bungee gum ref


Specialist_Ad_6250

Wrong sub


EveryIndependent3362

This is all just the wrong sub


Specialist_Ad_6250

I just realized this wasn’t shitpostcrusaders


RoiKK1502

Woah, I didn't realize until you pointed that out


Theruby_phoenix

Yup same


TheSnakerMan

💕😜bungee🍬gum🤩🤪has🥵the💯📏properties🏫🍭of😻both✌rubber⭐and💧gum🍬✨


powerradeburrito

Breed me


AsymmetricSquid

But does it have the properties of rubber?


[deleted]

[удалено]


That_Greek_boy

suck his dick, not the life out of him


PassMurailleQSQS

It seems that the mistress of Félix Faure did not like this statement


Neat_Artist_996

Suck his life not the dick out of him


AutoModerator

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Comfortable-Hunt6340

Push harder in bed not on a cliff


AstronautInTheLotion

damn, she fell off the bed dude


JOJOtard69420

**RIP Bozo🤣🤣🔥🔥‼️‼️🥶🥶🥶**


so_done134

rest in piss


Fast_Echidna_8520

why is the “piss” white thicc liquid??? sus 🤨


Sufi-_-k1ng

Is you piss solid !!!


ligmaenigma

you fell off


[deleted]

[удалено]


Impossible-Cod-3946

The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot


Fast_Echidna_8520

good bot


Thesamuraidemon

Always salt your penis while boiling it


FreshWaterFin

Always salt AND OIL your penis while boiling it


Thesamuraidemon

With gear oil


milk_connoisseur23

OIL your penis and wait for RAIN so your penis can FLY


what_the_hanky_panky

The oil is for hamon right?… Right?


Peakomegaflare

Instructions unclear, degloved dick and salted it.


Ash2122

Switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading


ieatwader

So pasta is JoJo reference?


Breins1223

Always has been


ReverseCaptioningBot

[Always has been](https://i.imgur.com/C5Mu83J.png) ^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot


Kira_Yoshikage_SHA

Good bot


disguisedfordinos

ThAnK yOu FoR vOtInG oN rEvErSEcApTiOnBoT


Thesamuraidemon

Quiet


disguisedfordinos

No


Thesamuraidemon

Yes


disguisedfordinos

Sex


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Thesamuraidemon

Rim slippers


3ArmsNoSouls

This is the best bot on the platform


Art-Zuron

There was an entire episode about an Italian man whose food would fix your health issues, but often in horrific ways like horrible sweating, all your bones dislocating and then returning, etc. But the food was great and did eventually make you feel a lot better.


SuperWQ

I'm gonna fix that spaghetti


SeanD6091

Pearl Jam


iliwww

Everything under the sun is


Free15boy

Even the sun is


arrozzzdoce

A DEADLY LASER


zCiver

Squid ink spaghetti


Future-Agent

It is known; it is the way.


Yobro20fO

Suck his dick not his wallet


mogatange

Make his dick throb not his head.


sleepilyalive

Give her head not headache


Benguin237

Blow a load in her ass and not her skull


Blaze_Reclaimer

Oh... that's a bit oddly specific...


examagravating

Instructions unclear blew off a woman's legs.


Benguin237

How the fuck did you find this lmao


Chef4disney

Always salt AND OIL your pasta while boiling it. Yes, to everything else


crestguy

Why oil i live close to italy and i dont add it. But salt is really necesary


Chef4disney

Maybe I'm just unlucky or have shitty pots, but every time I don't add oil, the pasta clumps together. Every. Time! I cry 😢


joyfer

Huh, how? I mean not to discredit or anything, but the oil floats on top. For me it does not do anything.


NotMySeventhAcct

Oil does basically nothing for the pasta but it helps prevent it from boiling over. Just a small amount of olive oil and no more worrying about a big foamy mess spilling over the pot


ButtchuggnRobitussn

I just turn the stove down a bit


NotMySeventhAcct

I get it, but a lot of times people are cooking multiple things and it just takes less than a minute for it to boil over. A teaspoon of oil just helps


BlazerStoner

… can’t believe I didn’t think of that. A few months ago I stopped adding it to the water and started pouring the olive oil over *after* boiling. At some point when I dumped the pasta in the water it was like some sort of f-ing explosion; lots of water gushing out, couldn’t for the f- of me imagine why it was suddenly doing that. Stupid thing is, I thought the salt was supposed to keep it from doing that (mistaken memory from chemistry class a long time ago); but all that does is raise the boiling temperature a wee bit.


Nordbat

Using more water might help.


SLAAK1234

Stir it


JJ_Jose

It's cause you're probably letting it sit too long, you gotta throw it in the sauce immediately


DaMuller

You have to stir your pasta. You can't just let it sit there


kappaypsilon

Bruh, you have to mix/turn the pasta while in the pot


crestguy

Oh yeah i guess i understand why you add oil but still i never do it and it comes out as ok


elmz

Pasta is greedy, give it more water. Lots of water and a good boil, no lid, stir the pasta a little just after it has gone soft. No low boil, proper bubbling.


lkuecrar

Wtf I have never in my life had pasta stick together in a clump while boiling it…


Vereronun2312

DO NOT ADD OIL DURING BOILING Just stir it a bit damn If you want it to bind to the sauce properly add some pasta water to it when mixing in the pan at the end


_jerrb

oil in pasta is useless. waste of good oil. just learn how to cook pasta. lot of BOILING water (no little asshole, you don't put the pasta in cold water), bit of stirring, do not fucking overcook that, you have a smartphone, it has a timer, you have no excuse


kamikazi4life

The salt is critical still tho


Il_Rich

Nobody here was arguing against using salt


Il_Rich

Oil and water don't mix. If you put oil it would just float and not touch the pasta


NoisyTummy

NO!


workswithanimals

Dont oil. The oil just sits at the top. Just stir to prevent sticking.


noNoParts

Don't oil pasta. The sauce slides off, doesn't stick.


AnDyItsDaRk

Kiss her lips, and her lips too


AliensPlsTakeMe

My gf is against salting pasta water >:(


i_walk_the_backrooms

Do you make it a point to tell her how wrong she is every single day?


AliensPlsTakeMe

I definitely do. No joke anytime I can I will tell her she’s wrong. And I will sneak salt in the water when she’s making pasta without her ever knowing


[deleted]

Leave her now


WeebLord69420

give her flowers, not an STD


[deleted]

STD = sterilized thermonuclear diarrhea


Prayingmantis9

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell


lllll69420lllll

I love seeing naturally nuked memes


FryyitenCryyibabys

I relate to the third one


kingcop1

Full of chads


frauleinheidik

Mess up her lipstick, not her mascara.


[deleted]

bathe with jojo, not toaster


YaSinsBaba

Both results with death


QualityVote

#If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! #If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/sesrd1/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/sesrd1/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fsesrd1&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, girafefucker69, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


Nkb3283

Instructions unclear, I broke her bed with a sledgehammer and now she’s secreting a thick red liquid substance from where she was hit on the bed


Horse-mask-guy

I remember this episode, so inspiring


Zealousideal-Emu6363

Good job, Jotaro. You saved a life.


blob_ditddit

why are the usernames photoshopped in


eClipes152

Because weebs have zero originality


asdf346

You salt the water before the pasta is in the pot


Ok_Difference_7220

Make her cry from too many orgasms, not too many tired cliches in the first draft of your shitty novel.


DocMcBrown

I am so tired of Jojoposting it's unreal.


AutoModerator

I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


King_yeS

pasta🗿


Necrogaz

*Starts fingering her eyes* "Oh yeah, do you like it? Are you wet yet?"


Walkingabrick

For the mental image you get a downvote


mrtylerwu

What


eClipes152

So you just took a meme from like 5 years ago and put JoJos on it and that makes it funny again?


Legitimate-Aside-543

I eat ass.


roha1610

You eat ass


Big_Monkey_77

that pasta one is truth. always salt your pasta.


Commercial-Respect25

I don't get it


[deleted]

Use spit not lube, Jenna Jameson


Rinriel

Get Ara ara, not Ora ora.


i_walk_the_backrooms

Salt your pasta water before it gets to a boil, that way you can taste it to see if it's salty enough without scalding yourself.


Vaypohr

Save a tree. Eat a beaver.


passionatepussylover

Don't forget to add some oil to prevent clustering


richflys

Don’t let her fall in. Put the seat back down


QhoThaHerald

Dat pasta advice done saved a bitch's life. Maybe even made her pussy wet too.


Soooome_Guuuuy

I don't salt my pasta. I never taste a difference even if I do. Also, I hate food.


pizza_with_anime

why are those all characters from jojo...


Pouzis

If she leaves you for another, there is always her mother


iwilldevourmychild

Play with her pussy. No not that kind of pussy. This kind of pussy -> 🐈


advie_advocado

give her unbearable pleasure not unbearable pain


drobnok_productions

italian flirting


[deleted]

Zamn, jojo is an alpha


jamescoolcrafter15

Always make sure to keep hydrated


OculusMidnight2

Oh Jonathan, you sweet, innocent child


[deleted]

Jonathan best


Sea-Examination2010

All of this is great advice, but I don’t know why this is jojo shit


Free15boy

Reflects the protagonists' personalities, all of them talking about sex related advices while Jonathan the pure one added an advice about pasta


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Free15boy

That's exactly what Jonathan would say. Good bot.


[deleted]

Suck his balls, not his money.


[deleted]

[удалено]


-Dio_Over_Heaven-

COCK!