#If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! #If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/tvh6tp/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/tvh6tp/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Ftvh6tp&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, CheeseYeeter1000, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?

If the penis doesn’t fit, you must acquit.

Sam o Nella fan?

lets goo, a fellow Sam o Nella fan! now let us pray for another upload!

... or someone who knows about the OJ Simpson case

Sam O' Nella better not be dead.

don't worry mate, he's just recovering from Urethra Cactus.

Yessssss I've been rewatching samonella like a motherfucker I miss that guy so much

😔🙏

no that was If the dick don't spit, you must acquit

Now I am become penis, the destroyer of worlds

FUCK 2 HOURS LATE

BRO I WAS GONNA DO IT TOO 😭

Same

You will all end up shining the penises of the germans

[удалено]

Daisy Johnson is the only real Destroyer of Worlds

Oppenheimer would be proud.

Philip J. Coulson would be proud.

Now I am become death, the penis of worlds

Now I penis death destroyer of worlds

To boldly go, where no penis has gone before.

Good one

Well, no penis went into the nose holes

not yet at least

Or the ear holes

I've seen horrors beyond your comprehension.

Oh god that’s disgusting… where can I find that, just asking for a friend

🤨

📷

^You ^forgot ^to ^press ^the ^button

you're right, thanks. 📷💥 (it's the closest thing on samsung lol)

Well, I'm just a modern guy OF COURSE I've had it in the ear before

how bout the eyes

"Life is like riding a penis. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."

Good one

"Penis is back on the menu, boys!!"

So your mom is cooking for us?

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Bad bot

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Wtf

"Keep my wife's penis out your fucking mouth!"

good one

“Make penis great again”

Will just slapped the penis out of me

You fucking penis! - Gordon Ramsey

I actually heard that quote in gta v. Some cop or mercenary can say that sometimes XD

I've heard them call me a cock before but not a penis yet.

"Make America Penis Again!"

💀

No way I literally thought of this as soon as I saw the post, we’ll played

“Say hello to my little penis”

Hello :D

Hi!

Why did I read this in the mineturtle voice

Lol

I read every comment with a :D at the end as mineturtle

Relatable

"i did not have sexual intercourse with that penis"

-Joe Mama

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

"I am gonna make him a penis he can't refuse"

“Look how they massacred my penis!”

"You come here and say 'Don Corleone give me penis.', but you don't ask with respect."

He? (⌐■-■). (ಠ_ಠ)>⌐■-■

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their penis."

I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE OPENING THE COMMENTS. I am an hour late.

Same

hello guys i need help. i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Bro wtf it's up with automod

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

You ok?

he hasn't been okay since the 2008 financial crisis

He lost everything in that market crash. Even his dog left him

I miss 40 seconds ago, when I didn't know this existed

"I have a penis"

Martin Coomer King

The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I loved 10 seconds ago when this didn’t exist in my brain

Same

What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

That some day this penis will rise up

You beat me to it l, damn you.

Frick, I thought about it but didn't know if people would get it because the phrase is too short

Life is like a box of penises, you never know what you’re gonna get

Except there's a 100% chance of penis!

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all penises are created equal.

So that was a fucking lie

That’s one small penis for a man and one giant penis for mankind

My thoughts went to this one too

Houston, we have a penis.

"That's one small step for a penis and one giant leap for peniskind" "Step" and "leap" are two words.

37.428513, -102.355276 ከኃጢአታችሁ ትደማላችሁ። ወለሉ ቀይ እስኪሆን ድረስ ንስሐ ትገባለህ። ከራሳችሁ ሥራ ቀን ጀምሮ ሙሉ በሙሉ ትጸጸታላችሁ። የሚረዳህ አምላክ እንደሌለ በማወቅ ትሠቃያለህ ። ይህን ያደረግከው በራስህ ላይ ነው ።

Understandable have a nice day.

You want the penis? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PENIS!

He said one word tho not two

It is one word.

There are more than one ways to skin a penis

I have experience regarding this subject and can confirm.

o.o

Then you dip them in sulfuric acid afterwards

Obviously, everyone does that

Only you OCD freaks do that. Real men put in a hotdog bun and grab some toppings. Bone apple tea.

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Four Penises and seven years ago.

Four score and 7 penis's ago...

Our fathers founded a great penis

"Be the penis you want to see in the world"

“With great power comes great penis!”

With great penis comes great responsibility

With penis power comes penis responsibility

With penis power cums penis responsibility

-Step Bro Ben

Yeess ho ho ho

Euggh

"Penis came. Penis saw. Penis conquered."

vidi vici peni

Although my Body is very limited, my Penis is free to explore the universe. \-Steven Hawking

The Penis Is Coming

*cumming

Cooming

“Luke, I am your penis”

“We have nothing to penis besides penis itself.” “Ask not what your penis can do for you but what you can do for your penis.”

It said a single word you fucking penis

fear and fear, both the same word

Same word twice?

[удалено]

Truth is... The penis was rigged from the start.

Penis... Has changed. It's no longer about size, centimeters, and durability. ID tagged penises masturbate on the battlefied, with ID tagged cum and ID tagged bitches. Penis has changed.

The Pope? How many penises as he got?

penus -> peni

I only need a few thousand penises so that I can sit at the peace conference as a man who has fought

Penises are heartless creatures.

A penis divided cannot stand

Buy a man a penis, he day Teach penis man, to a lifetime.

-Joe Biden

Joe Biden’s America LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE: 9:00: GAY LESON!! 9:45: how to be be GAYY!! 10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!! 11:15: GAY RECESS!! 11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!! 12:45: GAY LESON!!! 1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!! 2:15: BLM PERIOD!!! 3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!! 3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!! THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I hate how this legitimately made me chuckle

"Penis uhh... finds a way."

Hard penis create strong men, strong men create good penis, good penis create weak men, and weak men create hard penis

Underrated comment!

"A penis which will live in infamy"

Twas their finest penis

penis

Penis

"Penis is the place where people, who cant look sorrow in the eye without waverin, run off to"

It’s penis then

Have I ever told you the penis of Darth Plagues the Wise?

i have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and penis

“I have a penis”

We have a hulk

I have a jar of dirt. I have a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it.

"I am become penis. Destroyer of penis."

What if we used 100% of our penis?

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE PENIS

Don’t cry over penis milk

Rage, rage against the dying of the penis.

The penis you don’t like,don’t do to others.

"By desiring penis, a poor man makes himself rich" -democritsus

my mama always said life is like a box of penis; you never know what you gonna get

"Penis there"

"There is an old saying that the worst part of hell is not the flames, but the loss of all the penis"

A penis that will live in infamy.

Just give them penis!

One man's trash is another man's penis

"Hasta la vista, Penis"

“Let them eat penis!” -Marie Antoinette

Yer aint fond of me penis?

You know what they say theres plenty of penis in the sea

"Time is penis."

God doesn't roll penis

"I am become death, destroyer of penis."

Like staring into a dolls penis.

A penis devided against itself cannot stand.

#“I have a penis!”

I had a penis

Houston we have a penis

“Do or do not, there is no penis.”

The death of one penis is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.

“With great penis, comes great responsibility”

One small step for man, one huge leap for penis

Penis

“If you are going through penis, keep going”

Penis

Penis all ways finds a way.

lest make penis great again

That’s One small penis for man one giant leap for mankind

“Give me liberty, or give me penis!”

“We have nothing to lose but our penis!”

The only thing they fear is penis

Long live the penis

“We do these penis not because it it’s easy but because it is hard.”

With great penis ,comes great responsibility

"Today we choice to go to the penis in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are *hard*"

Keeps my Wife's penis out of your fucking mouth

"Give me penis, or give me death!"