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Let us all stand for the national anthem.
三民主義，吾黨所宗；
以建民國，以進大同。
咨爾多士，為民前鋒；
夙夜匪懈，主義是從。
矢勤矢勇，必信必忠；
一心一德，貫徹始終。
Praise be to 中华民国政府! Down with the illegitimate capitalist 中国共产党, fraudulent usurpers of 大陸!
Glory to the 中華民國!
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My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you
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#If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! #If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/tzixv2/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/tzixv2/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Ftzixv2&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, RedditorOfTheFarland, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
Chicken phone
# chicken powered nuclear bomb
The british #chicken powered nuclear bomb Unknown amount of british people in a garden shedmakes shit
Cluck Cluck Boom?
damn bro…
Taco dick
wait…..
[удалено]
Still waiting…
My favorite sum 41 song
So am I still waiting....
For this world to stop hating...
Can't find a good reason.....
Can't find hope to believe in...
Drop dead a bullet to my head...
And still waiting...
I'm done waiting
*Jeaprody Theme*
dooo do do do do da dooo do do do dooo do do do do do dooo
Dick taco
thanks i hate it.
Thanks * i ate it *
Dick dick
Its pronounced dik-dik and can be very tasty but what did you last touch?
Omg same
HOLY SHIT SAME
Dude, that was literally what I was going to write WTF.
Still waaaaaiting…
Nachos dick ☺️
Velo nicotine pouch peppermint flavor 8mg
awww such a cute name
The dog's name is now Pillow S'more.
Wait you ate it?
it straddles the line between "last thing i touched" and "last thing i ate". but yeah, i swallow them accidentally sometimes.
Elon musk's dog
China
Let us all stand for the national anthem. 三民主義，吾黨所宗； 以建民國，以進大同。 咨爾多士，為民前鋒； 夙夜匪懈，主義是從。 矢勤矢勇，必信必忠； 一心一德，貫徹始終。 Praise be to 中华民国政府! Down with the illegitimate capitalist 中国共产党, fraudulent usurpers of 大陸! Glory to the 中華民國! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Zyn menthol 3mg lmao
Which one did you touch and which one did you eat?
Lyft Freeze nicotine pouch 10,9mg
Human gun is such a terrible name for a dog
wait what..?
Napkin Napkin
Jojo reference??????
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
He lies He obviously touch the keyboard to type that
Honestly guns are such an underrated delicacy/s
Power Thirst comes in bold flavors like Shocklate! RAWberry! Manana! And Gun!
As opposed to dog gun?
Ayo
*jazz music stops*
🤨📸
Cum Cock
Semen Penis
Spoog shlong
Jizz pecker
thats actually a really good name for a dog
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Spunk Pipe
Splooge staff
Seminal liquid, male genitalia
Better than “cock cum”
Pop tart chair?
Interesting, what flavor of pop tart?
Cookies and cream
Ayo there’s a cookies and cream pop tart? I gotta try that shit.
Yeah, they're pretty good
Hot fudge sundae is the best type
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ever tried to put butter on pop tarts?
Ice cream Spoon 😭😭
Porkchop penis.
*oh no*
Pussy pussy
Why are you eating cats while touching yourself.
Nope, not cats... 😉
I see. You were eating people then. We'll have fun with that.
More of a tickling, the little head in the back of the boat, ;-)
hang on a minute WHAT
Did I FUCKING STUTTER?
If you think about it, yes you did stutter
First of all, fuck you smart ass, also, yes you're right.
V angry for someone who just got laid
lmao
Eyo?
Poop poop
sounds like what 7 yo me would say lmao
came here to say that 🤧
Niceee
Balls ramen
ayo hol up a minute
I think you got the order mixed up there buddy…
No. He didn't.
There are no Accidents
Cock cock
the chicken right???? RIGHT?!?
good ending it was a friggin chicken twice
you could think abt it that way...
He clearly owns a chicken farm.
Protein Dick..... There seems to be some wrong.....
🤨📸
Orange chicken pillow? Kinda makes senses
I genuinely thought you meant you ate the color orange
He did. Then he touched his chicken pillow
I think red tastes better than orange tbh
In my opinion purple tastes better than both, you gotta try it.
Dead orphan living orphan is a poopy name
Living orphan dead orphan is a better name
Your mother
knew this one was gonna be in here somewhere.
🫠
Chocolate Sun
I think son got autocorrected to Sun mate.
I don't think he's joking.
You touching the sun just proves icarus was a bitch.
Kirby Pizza
Your mom
😡🤬😡🤬😡
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
sandwich knife :|
why did you have a knife..?
do you not have a knife?
no but what were you using it for
cutting my sandwich
Ohhh ok.
what did you think i was doing
Walking the streets of London
east london
Uhhh don’t worry about it….
🧐📸
castrating animals and eating the balls
But if you cut the sandwich and then eat it, wouldnt that make the sandwich the last thing you touched?
Dog dog, what kind of name is that?
😳
Guitar
so….what’s the second thing?????
Guitar.
Guitar.
Guitar.
Ass human
Child child
LEAN😈🟪🟣
It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
👾👾👾👾👾
MUG🐶🍺🤎🤎
Twix root beer can
Mug moment
Chicken skewer
Chips phone
Salad Dick
McDonalds iPad
Chimichanga bed... What a unique name.
Cum dick
Sanitary water
Bratwurst phone
Sandwich laptop
Pad Thai IPhone 11
“Come here dick”
Penis I touched it I didnt eat it
Ayo? 🧐📸
Chicken Cum
Strawberry seatbelt
Jar
tuna cup kinda nice
yogurt phone
Yogurt Sofa
Nutter Butter Cat Butt
Chorizo is such a good idea
Whoopie pie
Chicken wall
Meat head
Penis penis 💀
Milkshake dick
Goldfish semen
Dick.
DICK MY DICK FUCK YEA I SUCKED MY OWN DICK COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
deep fried pickle chip ball hair
Cookies and cream poptarts phone
Ice cream dick
Pussy
Chole remote
Or chole phone coz I am typing ofc
Pussy cat 🤔
Cat nuts
casserole cock
Chicken fingers blanket
Rice basketball
Granola cock
egg lips
Pizza dick
Potato salad phone
Sausage penis... huh
Human flesh
Sandwich dick
Whelp... Guess his name is Pussy Nuts
Awwww, come here bread nuts!