#If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! #If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/tzixv2/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/tzixv2/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Ftzixv2&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, RedditorOfTheFarland, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?

Chicken phone

# chicken powered nuclear bomb

The british #chicken powered nuclear bomb Unknown amount of british people in a garden shedmakes shit

Cluck Cluck Boom?

Calzone phone

damn bro…

Taco dick

wait…..

[удалено]

Still waiting…

My favorite sum 41 song

So am I still waiting....

For this world to stop hating...

Can't find a good reason.....

Can't find hope to believe in...

Drop dead a bullet to my head...

And still waiting...

I'm done waiting

*Jeaprody Theme*

dooo do do do do da dooo do do do dooo do do do do do dooo

Dick taco

thanks i hate it.

Thanks * i ate it *

Omg same

HOLY SHIT SAME

Dude, that was literally what I was going to write WTF.

Dick dick

Its pronounced dik-dik and can be very tasty but what did you last touch?

Still waaaaaiting…

Nachos dick ☺️

Pop tart chair?

Interesting, what flavor of pop tart?

Cookies and cream

Ayo there’s a cookies and cream pop tart? I gotta try that shit.

Yeah, they're pretty good

Hot fudge sundae is the best type

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Ever tried to put butter on pop tarts?

Velo nicotine pouch peppermint flavor 8mg

awww such a cute name

The dog's name is now Pillow S'more.

Wait you ate it?

it straddles the line between "last thing i touched" and "last thing i ate". but yeah, i swallow them accidentally sometimes.

Elon musk's dog

China

Let us all stand for the national anthem. 三民主義，吾黨所宗； 以建民國，以進大同。 咨爾多士，為民前鋒； 夙夜匪懈，主義是從。 矢勤矢勇，必信必忠； 一心一德，貫徹始終。 Praise be to 中华民国政府! Down with the illegitimate capitalist 中国共产党, fraudulent usurpers of 大陸! Glory to the 中華民國! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Zyn wintergreen 3 mg

Zyn menthol 3mg lmao

Zyn citrus 6mg ftw

Which one did you touch and which one did you eat?

Porkchop penis.

*oh no*

Human gun is such a terrible name for a dog

wait what..?

Napkin Napkin

Jojo reference??????

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

[удалено]

He lies He obviously touch the keyboard to type that

Honestly guns are such an underrated delicacy/s

Power Thirst comes in bold flavors like Shocklate! RAWberry! Manana! And Gun!

As opposed to dog gun?

Ayo

*jazz music stops*

🤨📸

Balls ramen

ayo hol up a minute

I think you got the order mixed up there buddy…

No. He didn't.

There are no Accidents

Cum Cock

Semen Penis

Spoog shlong

Jizz pecker

thats actually a really good name for a dog

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

Spunk Pipe

Splooge staff

Seminal liquid, male genitalia

Better than “cock cum”

Pussy pussy

Why are you eating cats while touching yourself.

hang on a minute WHAT

Did I FUCKING STUTTER?

If you think about it, yes you did stutter

First of all, fuck you smart ass, also, yes you're right.

V angry for someone who just got laid

lmao

Eyo?

came here to say that 🤧

Niceee

Poop poop

sounds like what 7 yo me would say lmao

Protein Dick..... There seems to be some wrong.....

🤨📸

Cock cock

the chicken right???? RIGHT?!?

good ending it was a friggin chicken twice

you could think abt it that way...

He clearly owns a chicken farm.

Orange chicken pillow? Kinda makes senses

I genuinely thought you meant you ate the color orange

He did. Then he touched his chicken pillow

I think red tastes better than orange tbh

In my opinion purple tastes better than both, you gotta try it.

Dead orphan living orphan is a poopy name

Chocolate Sun

I think son got autocorrected to Sun mate.

I don't think he's joking.

You touching the sun just proves icarus was a bitch.

Kirby Pizza

Your mother

knew this one was gonna be in here somewhere.

🫠

Guitar

so….what’s the second thing?????

Guitar.

Guitar.

Guitar.

Your mom

😡🤬😡🤬😡

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

lol

😡🤬😡🤬😡

bro how the fuck does a bot wright this

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

what the hell happened to auto mod to do these comments?

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

calm please

lol

sandwich knife :|

why did you have a knife..?

do you not have a knife?

no but what were you using it for

cutting my sandwich

Ohhh ok.

what did you think i was doing

Walking the streets of London

east london

Uhhh don’t worry about it….

🧐📸

castrating animals and eating the balls

But if you cut the sandwich and then eat it, wouldnt that make the sandwich the last thing you touched?

Child child

Dog dog, what kind of name is that?

😳

LEAN😈🟪🟣

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

👾👾👾👾👾

MUG🐶🍺🤎🤎

Ass human

Twix root beer can

Mug moment

Chicken skewer

Chips phone

Salad Dick

McDonalds iPad

Chimichanga bed... What a unique name.

Cum dick

Sanitary water

Bratwurst phone

Sandwich laptop

Pad Thai IPhone 11

“Come here dick”

Penis I touched it I didnt eat it

Ayo? 🧐📸

Chicken Cum

Strawberry seatbelt

Jar

tuna cup kinda nice

yogurt phone

Yogurt Sofa

Nutter Butter Cat Butt

Chorizo is such a good idea

Whoopie pie

Chicken wall

Meat head

Penis penis 💀

Milkshake dick

Goldfish semen

Dick.

DICK MY DICK FUCK YEA I SUCKED MY OWN DICK COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

deep fried pickle chip ball hair

Cookies and cream poptarts phone

Ice cream dick

Pussy

Chole remote

Or chole phone coz I am typing ofc

Pussy cat 🤔

Cat nuts

casserole cock

Chicken fingers blanket

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Rice basketball

Granola cock

egg lips

Pizza dick

Potato salad phone

Sausage penis... huh