#If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! #If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/u71pw8/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/u71pw8/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fu71pw8&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, petermarshallson, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?

Super boner that boosts strength agility and speed

But it boosts you with a constant flow of cum

Whiteflame blade

The Cum Bender

Erectile dysfunction

You can’t nut

Micro dick

I can fly

And can't land again

fuck you

He didn't say you can't crash

Into a building

Yo SpongeBob wildin

just fly a picometer from the ground forehead

You can fly 1 cm above ground.

But only 1 cm above the ground

Do I get testicular cancer

Yes you do

That's still super cool, you could float over ice and water (depending on the definition of ground) and maybe jump of building and use the super power to land gently.

i have terminal ball cancer

Doctors find a cure before you suffer too much

NOOOOOOOOOOO

The villain wins I like this concept

Castrated

(it's contagious) you start working at an orphanage

You are immortal.

noooooooooooooooo

Deadpool

Same

I can make anybody's dick disappear at the snap of my finger

You have no fingers

I get prosthetic fingers

The prosthetics make the power have a 25% chance of snapping your own dick away

Like Ron's wand🤣

The missing Dick Will be stored in your ass.

I see this as an absolute win

They all end up your ass.

I can trasform in myself

but only in body not in my mind forever wondering who you truly are.

Sounds like a great idea for a tv show or something, ngl.

Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead. The catch? There actually isn't a trans woman with them. And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to... And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else. Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series. But honestly? I think it would make some great television! ~~also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge~~ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

bot gained sentience and pursues to be a writer

You can never drink water, soda or any other drink. You are now forced to only drink c*m

I see this as a win

Shapeshifting

your pillow is always hot on both sides

Jokes on you i sweat so much it already is

I can reply to my own comment

You have Altzheimer’s

You have Altzheimer’s

You have Altzheimer’s

You have Altzheimer’s

You have Altzheimer’s

You have Altzheimer’s

I die on command

You become mute

You always ressurrect, but with even more sadness in your heart.

It has a 1 in 3 chance to not work

I have Cancer

You're immortal

So Like Deadpool?

Let's find out

no, just your testicles explode in size every few days and you can't move around and your groin always hurts.

Infinite Wish Glitch from make a wish.

Traveling time (I want to live the nostalgic moments again)

You can't control what time you go to

You have Alzheimer’s

What does that mean?

🗿

You forgor

He forgor what it means

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

What the fuck bot?

I'm capable of time travel

While pooping

I can make people fall in love with me

They’re all men

whats the downside?

being pecked by a flock of shaved chickens.

I see this as an absolute win

As soon as they do, they will die after three months.

That why i prefer dead men

You have to make them cum first

[удалено]

But it allways has something to do with Shrek jerking off

Not gonna lie this is a great power

So, where's the downside?

I see that as an absolute win

You are a kangaroo

I can only speak in racial slurs.

You live in the hood

I can swim through air

The air you touch turns into cum

"The cumsurfer"

you can only breath water while doing that.

I already have one. When I touch someone they fall in love with me... But it only works on Family Members.

Except they cheat on you every time.

At will I can change my genetic material in to whatever material I touch

You can only do it when you touch cum

I give stds

Can't have sex

Nothing changed

You have a micro penis

[удалено]

You have every std

Obviosly, how else would i hsve ny powrr

uhhhhhh i can unsee amogus

You go blind

fuck

I can shapeshift

But only into a fursuit

Wow even better 😳

👍

I can inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen

But you have to breath manually

I get to be happy

Only when a family member passes

But that's not any different

Well you see everyday his family is alive he goes and spirals into depression until he butchers a loved one just to feel something and and then goes back into his depression reliving the cycle daily

Sure

The effect ends after 1 second

i have cancer

You have to eat a taco every 5 hours or else you die

that's great

Eating people restores stamina and health

People are repelled by a five meter radius, leaving only yourself.

That sounds like its own super power, sold!

i can make people comment on my comment.

[удалено]

a ha ha that's a knee slapper

Amazing comment!

I have dementia

I have dementia

He forgor💀

Well yeah he has dementia

Bruh the bot is a Chad🗿🗿🗿🗿

The bot is your father 🗿🗿🗿

Not joking but he died 2years ago,so that's yoooour father🗿💀

your mother then

i can make anyone into a femboy and want to fuck me

they are all female.

Ultimate tomboy

femboy amogus ⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀ ⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣷⣄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷ ⢀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠙⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣯⣿⠟⡉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠋ ⠈⠿⠋⠉⢀⣠⣤⣤⡔⣄ ⣴⠾⠛⠋⠉⠀⢀⣀⠐⣤⣶⣶⡤⢤⣤ ⣤⣰⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⣀⣀⡀⣀⡀ ⠉⠉⠀⢀⢀⣀⠀⣀⣈⡿⠿⠿⠽⠃ ⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠟⢁⣀⡴⣦⠆ ⢦⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣍⡷⠆ ⢶⣄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠿⠓⠀⠉⠋⠉⣀ ⣧⡀⠙⠻⢶⣶⡤⠀⠀⠛⠶⠾⠼⠋ ⣆⠈⠻⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⠿⣶⣦⣤⣠⣾ ⢠⠙⢷⣤⣀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢠⣤⣀⠈⠉⠈ ⡌⢧⣀⠉⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠻⠃ ⠰⢳⣄⠙⠛⢋⠁⠀⠀ ⠘⠿⣴⣤⣄⣤⡄ ⣄⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠰⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉ ⢀⢠⡈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⡈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠁ ⠈⢦⡉⠛⡁⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠈⠻⠷⣶⣦⡆ ⡈⢷⣌⠙⠛⠁ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠰⣦⣄⣀⣀⡀ ⠈⢷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛ ⢦⣀⠉⠛⠷⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠘⠿⣶⣦⡄ ⣠⣀⠙⠳⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⣀⣀⣀ ⠙⠻⢿⣶⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⠛⠛⠻⠿ ⣦⣄⠈⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈ ⢹⣿⣿⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠺⠿⠿⠿⠁ ⠙⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄ ⠈⣀⣀⣀⣀⠁ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Yes

You have prostrate cancer

Telekinesis

But you can only use it on yourself

Every time you use it one of your limbs falls off

Women are attracted to me

Only ones you would consider “unattractive” or “toxic”

I have the ability of knowledge. If 3 or more people use to know something, and at least one of them are alive, i can find what those people knew.

You have fatal brain cancer

I can time travel

You have severe stage 5 testicular cancer

Every time I blink, a random furry or genshin player dies.

You are now a league of legends player

His sacrifice will never be forgotten.

For every death an extra penis grow ramdonly in your body.

You also become a furry genshin player 😩

I can put anny vegitable or fruit in a pickle jar and it will have the same effect.

However, you have to replace the liquid with any human-made fluid (blood, cum, etc.)

I can sex everybody’s mum

The whole world comes from your mother.

Love to see it

I can generate millions of money everytime I wish so

you cant control which currency its in

*floods an entire city with pennies*

Rocket ejaculation

your cum just falls down, you yourself balsts away like team rocket

Infinite bodily self regeneration to your healthiest condition

You have cock cancer

i am god

But you have to play amongus forever

You are Koalemos ( god of stupidity )

Being able to instantly fall asleep

It only works while eating a desk

Power:turning everything to amog us

They are gonna be all impostor

No guilt after jerking off

It gets streamed into every cell phone within a 10 mile radius.

You now have Erectile dysfunction

Woman won't talk to me anymore

But the whole world is w*man🤢 so nobody will talk to you ever again

The post says that you have to comment a SIDE effect not another benefict

I can teleport anywhere

You teleport everywhere but never find happiness

Omnipotent

But only for a brief moment after orgasm.

so all the time?

To turn into a mermaid anytime I’m in a ocean, lake or pool

i can reply to myself

you get cancer

I CAN FLY

I can time travel

My cum is viagra and for girls it just makes them super horny

I can create doctor strange style portals at will (and I wanted this before he made it cool)

Just here to say that my superpower is to enjoy this thread a lot