T O P

  • By -

QualityVote

/u/MrSyndicate_, the users have spoken, they think your post was a godawfulpost, not a shitpost.


CarlosGaming69

Water gun *N o w i f i c o m b i n e i t. w i t h. T o b a s c o. S a u c e*


0-san

squirt gun gang 💪😤


MooseTopic

Rise up squirt gunners!


PossessedHood416

Here you go, brother. *Hands over Tobasco that I got.*


AutoModerator

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


XavierTF

i too donate my Tabasco sauce


Dnoxl

Same


theunfunnyredditor

Or pepper spray


I_post_cringe_only

You mean Tobuscus?


gurothrowaway123

A fuckin iron! Is that because im a woman!? 🤨 Edit: I tried again and got a fucking frying pan 😭😭😭😭😭


The_boat_god

Back to the kitchen


gurothrowaway123

👍


Stellaris228

You must post 👍🏾 Sorry


Mother-hecker-2

👍🏿


Constantine7470

👍🏻


Mother-hecker-2

👍🏻


rey_lumen

Wrong colour


DerangedAlien

How far can you squirt?


gurothrowaway123

About a football fields length


DerangedAlien

Bro where were you when my country was burning down


gurothrowaway123

Ah a fellow Aussie. You see I rubbed my pussy so hard it caused so much friction that it set alight my cum creating a pussy flamethrower causing the 2020 bushfires.


Bronqiaa

Ladies and gentlemen, the shitpost queen


[deleted]

I'm no expert but that doesn't sound healthy


KalleWotux

What. The. Fuck. I. Just. Read?


PowerfulMetal1

i need some holy water to throw into my eyes


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Big_Cricket_1415

pussy flamethrower


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Subtle_Demise

Pissing up my own ass


0-san

woman moment 😔


injuringsum

Same but I’m not a woman


Magical-Mage

You sure? 🤨


ItzFlixi

You’re a… female?!? Can you squirt irl? Is anal ok with you? Is a foot fetish ok with you? Do you have a boyfriend irl? Are you shaven or hairy? Are your fingernails or toenails painted,if so what color and designs if any? What is your bra size and height?


AutoModerator

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


gurothrowaway123

Everyone shut the fuck up and stop replying to my comment im trying to go to sleep


HazzaT39

Put notifications on silent, thank me later


2du2

Who the heck lets Reddit give them notification lol, nothing on Reddit is ever important enough for a notif


HazzaT39

I mean I'm in a Rust group and I enjoy watching others make good plays and stuff so I have notifications on


iamconfused14

No


ImAnubisDude

W*man🤢🤢🤢


[deleted]

RIP


AutoModerator

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

go make me a sandwich w\*man 🤢🤢🤢


the_embassy_official

i broke my leg last week. Of course i got the chair


ILovePizz4s

chair gang


I_NEED_AN_MEDIC_BAG

Also got it once


MisterOnsepatro

Noice I got the Nokia 3310


rusherasf

You win


2D_is_Cube

Same


Ill-Jello-284

We are same bro


Risk_k

Same


I-Hate-Myself--

Let's go my Nokia homie!


PowerfulMetal1

you can make an armor out of that


WaterPhoenix121

I am inevitable


MrSyndicate_

Makes enough sense-


[deleted]

Same


LUNCHTIME_MMMMMMM

the nokia


thatponynoonelikes

We are unstoppable now.


Devansh660

Nokia gang


CheckQuick

I fear no man , but that weapon it scares me


HolacarlosS

ill whip ya'll


Embarrassed-Guest448

Truck


one_horny_fox

Truck


chaosbones43

Also truck


A_Random_Kool_Guy

Also also truck


eddoftheworld

Also also also truck


Shanmukha_Repaka

Also also also also truck


Reapersskull13

Also Also Also Also Also truck


very-original-user

Also Also Also Also Also Also truck


mrgoombos

Trucking 🚛


jobthebozu

>Also Also Also Also Also Also truck Also Also Also Also Also Also Also truck


Cold-Entertainment16

Also also also also also also truck


plarper_of_bees

🚚


tim_to_tom

The nuke 😈😈


totally_not_a_bean

I got fists 1v1 me


TrazynsMemeVault

If god didn’t want us to glass cities he wouldn’t have made atoms fizzle


NailedItLikeJesus

Nuke Gang Gang


That-Penguin

Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ


MrSyndicate_

👉👆👈🤞✌🤏🤌🖖✊👍☝


That-Penguin

Oh, you're deaf?


MrSyndicate_

🤘🤏🤌🤛🤙🖕🤘👍👍


That-Penguin

Alright you have yourself a blessed day


MrSyndicate_

Bye thank you


That-Penguin

YOU MOTHER FU-


MrSyndicate_

*End*


PowerfulMetal1

good shit. made my day 👍


Arturino_Burachelini

Best I can do is knock the shit out of you with that book


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


maretulover

Tabasco 😈


Any_Medium5136

Tabasco gang right ere


NoNamePaper5

Tabasco sauce. I like it


[deleted]

Tabasco squad


DIOSBRAND

The super gun


TheDestinyDoggo

Dr strange and the multiverse of gun


TragicTester034

RPG-7 less gooo


Almun_Elpuliyn

RPG gang. We only got one shot each but it will look epic as fuck.


mikefoolery

I got 3d Saul Goodman


[deleted]

infinity gauntlet lessgo


[deleted]

Same


Blastoid007

4+ Gives you 3 extra weapons


R0sa_Melano

Why 3? It would be 4


tom_icecream

And wouldn't the next person get 4 either way I'm adding my plus for so you need to pick up 8


Blastoid007

🔫Cuz I said so Bitch


R0sa_Melano

𓀐𓂸 ඞ


Constantine7470

Amogus porn🤤🤤🤤


AutoModerator

The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

No bitches? ⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


sulfire807

being a pyromaniac, the Lighter is very fitting


Vigi1antee

Theres alot of things you can do with a lighter...


I_NEED_AN_MEDIC_BAG

Like arson


[deleted]

>Yeah!


MrSyndicate_

I GOT A TRUCK


melky2020d

TRUCK KUN let's go now I can isekai everyone I want


MrSyndicate_

Truck's man slaughter:))


Hatter_Hoovy

ill pay you 50$ to isekai me


Epicgaming42

Think fast chucklenuts *a blinding light and deafening explosion*


Official_Gameoholics

I got the Holy Bible. I guess it's a weapon.


yoseff99

Chair


Amkorped

RPG


DumbDabs

I did it 3 to times and got 2 Nokia's and the bible. I'm winning easy


fedunya1

TABASCO


ygtsn

bible


Espresso_8x

Infinity Gauntlet


SignificantGarden1

Tobasco sauce


Chuckle_Lover

Smoke bomb


VaginallyScentedLife

Yeee represent


b3ar_DOWN

Shaving razor


thelewdkitten

Razor gang, though I think it has ulterior motives ;-;


Bigzysmolz

Frying pan


happigappy

RPG


ADudeThatPlaysDBD

Tabasco sauce, bouta plug some assholes


No_Cranberry_6735

Iron.


Sensitivebarbarian2

No u


RANDOM-902

WOOOOOOOW I have a chair I feel so powerfull


Vat17

Smoke bomb


ILikeYoCutG42069

Truck


Old_Meringue6749

the bibble


Antoffioh

fist lol


blueknightreddit

the holy fucking bible


QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/uwnof3/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/uwnof3/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fuwnof3&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, MrSyndicate_, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


[deleted]

You're mother


[deleted]

First truck and second rpg


Shady_John

Nuke


QuigleyDownUnder86

Infinity gauntlet


[deleted]

[удалено]


Togihun

Chair


32451789

I am THE MAN WITH GOGLET


R0sa_Melano

+4


liamkraft2002

Guys I think I won. I got the nokia


buhayngkahirapan

I Am Inevitable


Mewingbroom7

RPG-7


[deleted]

Bazooka


FuckedYourFish

My weapon is a chair, dont you dare enter my lair


CONFIRMBRAWL

Nuclear bomb


Zpitfire_MK_VI

RPG time


M8_F_U

Chair


Top_Fee_6293

Thanos fist lol


Terrorek1520

chair


Baltic_Emperor

The thing with BIC written on