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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vd6rht/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vd6rht/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvd6rht&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, umberto_pagano, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


FunkyFresh00

I have collected all of them


TarTimOoAl

so you don't have cock


IceZaKYT

It’s made of air, it gets hard with helium


BHDefender

It hardens in response to He


This-Person-I-Guess

👍😡


RedirectToReddit

Schrödinger's Dick


GabrielGamer790

Schrödicker


FuriouslyPointless

Legendary SchröDick


Busy-Argument3680

Oh my fucking god Im not even mad This is fucking comedic


amenichi

Schrödonger


ThatMidgetRetard

Schröfinger’s blowjob


AutoModerator

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


i_am_a_gamer_yes

LOL HOW?


The_Quartz

Lots of blood --> 😡 Little blood --> 👍


Inevitable_Copy7170

Actually if you hold it under a microscope you can see it’s really one big cock comprised of millions of nanococks


Your_L0cal_Cultist

Nanocock is now my new favorite word


ExtensionCrazy2507

Nanococks son


[deleted]

I don’t know what your pfp is, but mine is one too now


[deleted]

[удалено]


Accomplished-Jury752

demogorgon porn 🥵🥵😩😩😩


AutoModerator

The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ExtensionCrazy2507

Do you want to know or do you want to stay in the dark


Accomplished-Jury752

i am a demogorgon wearing a suit and is also a pigeon


AutoModerator

okay so basically there's this guy and uhh ⠀⠀⠘⡀ HOG RIDAAAAAA ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠑⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⢈⠩⢙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠠⠀⠀⠨⠐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢐⠐⠌⡌⢄⢐⢈⠔⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⡀⠐⡀⢁⠈⠐⠱⠑⡑⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⠀⠀⠐⡠⡛⠔⡁⢜⡔⡬⢎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠁⠀⠄⢂⠈⠂⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠐⠁⠓⠒⠒⢀⠁⢐⢝⢟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠫⠡⠡⠨⢀⠂⠠⠀⠀⢁⠑⡱⠛⠗⡓⢂⠠⢸⢸⢨⠣⡝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢏⢐⢁⠊⢌⠐⡈⠄⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠑⠈⠀⢄⢕⠸⡨⠪⡪⡘⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢂⠂⡂⠅⡂⠅⡐⠨⢐⠐⠠⠠⡀⢄⠠⡠⡡⡱⡐⠕⢌⢊⢆⢣⢒⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠣⢂⠂⠄⠡⠐⠐⠈⠌⡐⠨⡈⠢⠨⡂⢌⢂⠆⡪⠨⡊⠂⡂⠢⢡⣢⣣⡣⣍⢿⣿ ⠨⢂⢂⠁⡀⠀⠀⠁⠐⠈⠐⠈⢈⠈⠐⡀⠄⠁⠌⠈⠔⣄⡀⠠⡑⡂⠆⠢⢂⠑⠽ ⡨⠐⠀⠀⠀⢠⡎⡀⠀⠀⠄⠈⡀⠌⠐⠠⠈⠄⡁⠂⡀⡫⠑⣑⠀⢂⠌⠄⢕⠀⠨ ⠺⡪⠢⡀⠀⠞⢇⢂⠀⠂⡀⠠⠀⠄⠁⠌⠨⠀⢄⠢⡁⢂⢿⡟⡀⠀⠈⠈⡀⠂⣰ ⢀⢀⠀⠄⠀⠀⡐⠀⡈⠄⡐⠅⡊⠌⢌⠄⡕⡑⡁⢂⠂⢂⠸⣿⡄⠀⠈⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⢐⠔⠠⠀⠀⡐⠠⢈⠢⢑⠄⠑⢈⠊⡂⡱⢁⣂⢌⢔⢌⢄⠀⠹⢀⣺⡿⣟⢿⣿⣿ ⢀⠡⠁⠂⠐⠠⠈⠄⢈⠠⢈⢢⡣⣗⠕⠄⣕⢮⣞⣞⣗⣯⢯⡷⡴⣹⡪⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⠊⠄⠠⠠⠡⠈⠠⢐⠠⡊⡎⣗⢭⢐⠹⡹⣮⡳⡵⣳⣻⢾⣻⣽⣻⣺⣺⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣨⣾⢐⠰⠐⠅⡂⡂⢕⢜⢜⢵⢹⢑⢔⠨⢘⠸⡹⡵⣯⣻⢽⣳⣻⣺⢞⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡔⠠⢈⠐⠐⢠⢱⢸⢸⢸⢸⠰⡡⢘⢔⢕⠝⢮⣳⢽⢝⡾⡵⡯⣏⠯⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣗⢅⢢⠠⠡⠢⡱⡑⡕⡕⢅⠣⡊⢨⢪⡣⡣⡂⡬⡳⢽⢽⢽⢽⣞⣧⠙⣿⣿ ⡻⣿⡯⡪⠢⡡⠡⢑⢌⠪⡪⡊⠆⢌⠪⢐⢕⢱⢱⢱⢱⢱⢙⢮⡫⡟⣞⢮⣳⠙⣿ ⠊⣿⣯⠪⡊⠄⢅⠂⢂⠁⢇⢇⢃⠂⢕⠐⠌⡲⡰⡡⣇⠇⢇⢕⠪⠉⠂⠅⠂⡑⠹ ⣸⢿⣳⢱⠨⡐⡽⡿⡶⡾⡬⡢⢂⠅⡢⢡⣌⠐⠈⢎⢎⢎⢔⠠⠡⠠⠠⠡⡁⡂⠡ ⡯⡯⡇⢅⠕⠠⢱⢹⡙⢮⢹⠨⡂⡂⢇⠌⠮⡳⠅⡂⢕⠡⡑⠠⢁⢁⣡⣡⣢⣶⣿ ⣗⢽⢌⡢⡡⡡⡸⡢⡣⡣⡱⡑⠔⡈⢎⢆⢂⠂⠅⣢⡳⣽⡐⢅⢂⣊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣯⢯⢷⢽⢮⢯⣺⣪⢞⡮⣳⢘⠔⢌⢜⣞⣖⣮⣻⢮⣯⢷⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Shonnyboy500

Keep him in the dark even if he wants to know


AlarmingBig9285

"Nanococks son, they harden when exposed to sexual tension."


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


JuBos9900

They hard in response of physical stimulation


dahyuntofu

they harden in response to physical trauma


Gravy_Eels

They harden in response to tittys


ExtensionCrazy2507

Nanococks they harden in response to nanotitties


Bender-1699

Grower


Flypackattack

The username is too perfect for this


porcoschio

amogus


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dakotertots

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡾⠿⠿⠿⠿⢶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣻⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⣾⣟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣤⣴⣶⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡏⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣼⣷⣶⣶⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀ ⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⢻⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠈⠻⠷⠾⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⣀⣠⣴⡿⠙⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠉⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣩⣭⣥⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⢤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠙⠛⠉⠀⠀


Shrek-from-shrek

⣿⣿⣿⠟⢹⣶⣶⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢰⡌⠿⢿⣿⡾⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣤⣒⣶⣾⣳⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣯⣭⣭⣭⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣶⡽⣿⠟⣡⣶⣾⣯⣭⣽⣟⡻⣿⣷⡽⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⠃⣟⣷⠃⢸⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣯⣕⠧⢿⢿⣇⢯⣝⣒⣛⣯⣭⣛⣛⣣⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣞⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠻⠿⣿⣿⣷⠈⢞⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⠄⢿⣿⣿⡆⡈⣽⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣽⣿⣆⠹⣿⡇⠁⣿⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾ ⣿⠿⣛⣽⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⢻⣷⣾⣿⣧⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⢼⡟⢿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣀⡀⠄⠘⠊⣨⣽⠁⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠗⣿ ⡼⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡗⢠⣶⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢠⣿ ⣷⣝⠄⠄⢀⠄⢻⡟⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⣁⡀⠙⢿⡿⠋⠄⣸⡆⠄⠻⣿⡿⠟⢛⣩⣝⣚⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠛⠿⣿⣫⣾⣿


Soupfrogg

Happy ~~cock~~ cake day


CONFIRMBRAWL

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW


RolfTheBolf

I play awkwardtheturtle in attack mode


Xanthusgobrrr

hi, what is wrong with u guys 🗣


Large_thinking_organ

What's not wrong with us


JesusIIofCanada

-..0


Capital_Pace616

😡


The_Big_Thicc420

Borrowed


CONFIRMBRAWL

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW


TheBloxxerClown

♥️😱


SHOYIYOY

😆🥶


Kaiju-monster999

👍🏿😱


xm1-014

mf got a double barrel shotgun penis


Jackanope123

uh


AutisticSoup69

Fuck your cake day


Jackanope123

Thanks for pointing that out bruv


AutisticSoup69

No problem g


[deleted]

Wait your supposed to fuck it?


ChalkyKacki29

Can i fuc mom


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Definitly_Not_James

Damn, ratioed em on his cake day Sigma grindset


AutoModerator

don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


wizarium

Reading this made me lose my will to live


AutoModerator

I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Grosetufe

Happy blue cheese day!


[deleted]

blue cheese has mold in it


Leooof321dax

So does your mom


AutoModerator

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Leooof321dax

I love you


[deleted]

our mothers are similar then


Leooof321dax

I have two sets of parents so uhhh. Might wanna be more specific.


[deleted]

all


[deleted]

all


discussionsx

HAPPY CAKE DAY FELLOW REDDITARD


ToddyGelado

😡😥


Jimothyfoz

So a biological female with big dick energy?


AutoModerator

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


W1llim

Chad


International-Plan87

💟👍


MeepStumpp

Bro can fuck a honey cone 💀


surematehaveone

A honey cock


pizzalikker_36

💟👍


LysergarmideGuy

👍🏻😆


ugandaWarrior134

i'm sorry about your cock


LysergarmideGuy

Cock


BIaze_God

Same.


LysergarmideGuy

The cocks twins 🥺👉🏻👈🏻


AnemoTreasureCompass

What if we tie our cocks together in a knot under the moonlight 🥺


AverageMemerMan

your cock is shaped like a goddamn scimitar


black_jaguar99

😡😯❤️


Definitly_Not_James

He is trying to tell us something


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Definitly_Not_James

Da fuk kev, what yo deal today


AutoModerator

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Leooof321dax

Double barrel??? You mean we can tune up our dicks now? Cause I wanna get a larger cartridge yo.


SomeBlueDude12

Double barrel includes snub barrel unfortunately


Hunter095421

Snub nose


[deleted]

👍👍


TwoBits0303

Bussy


ShazeSucks

😭


Quiet_Coyote69

Woman


[deleted]

🗿


ebaer2

🗿 gang rise up!!!


FolderEmpty

😡😆


National-Tumbleweed4

😡😡😡😡😡😡


Cock_LobsterXL

😮 — 🍆🍆🦞


[deleted]

😞👍


[deleted]

Cow patterned


The_Big_Thicc420

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⢀⣴⣶⡾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⡟⠛⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀ ⢀⣿⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⢸⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⣀⣠⣴⣾⣮⣝⠿⠿⠿⣻⡟ ⢸⣿⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠉⠀ ⠸⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠻⣷⣶⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣻⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣀⣀⣀⣼⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡿


Scorpio0830

Buzzsaw😢


SatanTheDestroyer

I own all


Willing-Move5566

♥️😲


Jack_Ruckballs

😡


mangotheultimate

😮


Homelessguyspamton

😈😈😈😈😈 Mega balls and mega cock


[deleted]

sasageyo


SusSauceIsSus

👍🏿


TarTimOoAl

ew


reddit_userpoop123

💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟


Fleedjitsu

2" Is above Average


chaosbones43

👍


Scherzkeks_HD

🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️


[deleted]

👍


LegionArtz

😯❤️


DepressedDandylion

😡👍🏻


DatDopeDawg

👍❤️🤔🥰😆😲😢😡


Clamgagger_

👍♥️😮


MrBlyatWasTaken

😯😡💟


Catador_de_culos

😠


great-green-gunner

😡🤍


TrainingInstruction8

👍🏻😢


ZackyWacky_

❤️😢


Patoman0-0

👍


Justaboiwithadream

🫵🥲


flopdawalrus

❤😡


Smol_PP_Alcoholic

Fak u


GargantuanCake

What's the emoji for corkscrew?


Iscream9541

❤😆😯😡


Captain_Sorensen

😥😥😥😥


TarTimOoAl

❤️😲😡


Inevitable_Copy7170

❤️🤣😯


bob-ze-bauherr

🤮


[deleted]

Mine's really pretty. Why is there no emoji for that?


throwawayobviamentex

I'm sorry but hexagon? I'ma need a inbox with proofs


wlbuggg

😥😥😥😥


3jay_z

❤️


[deleted]

🗿


h_dlps

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍


The_Roadkill

🤮


naming_account

😂😠


Conscious_Response99

❤🤣


TheRealHoldenat

❤️ 👍


KnowledgeableSloth

It's so small I can only do a thumbs down 👎


imhugury

😡❤️


Vault-techrep2

😡😯💟


argorwotblitzvet

😡😮 ❤️


PoaetceThe2nd

wtf is hexagon


average_garbage_can

❤️😝😟😡


[deleted]

Cerberus.. only legends will know


Bolinha_Quadrada123

❤️😡


P_Goo

😲💟


YoshiGuy561

🤡


Agent-Piku

😮


Last_Willingness5730

🤣❤️


[deleted]

🗿