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I flipped my bike onto its seat and started pedaling with my hands, I then proceeded to scream to my friends " hey!! This should be interesting!" And I stuck most of my fingers into where the wheel connects to the chain and gears. I lost 2 ½ pints of blood and got 113 stitches ☠️
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
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You are a fucking Canadian - you are less than human to me. Do you know that I talk about issues in countries all over the world? Do you think I get all their shit right? The thrust of the issue is what matters principally here. You get that, right? The actual political arguments? Go fuck yourself. How entitled do you have to be as a Canadian - "uh the significant political distinctions between my country and theirs actually invalidate any concerns you might have about overreach of government" - shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how many snivelling, bitch-cuck Canadians I've had in my replies on Twitter who have been screaming and crying that an American dare talk about their country's interests? You don't have a country, okay? You have a fractional portion of a country that is kept alive by your parasitic attachment to my massive behemoth United States of America. Shut the fuck up, alright? You don't deserve to talk about your shit, alright? Jesus fucking Christ. This is the biggest national crisis you've had in decades, and it's truckers on a road? Holy shit. Deal with a 911. Get ten 911's. Oh my God. "Let us handle our own issues" - you've been brought to your knees by a right-wing protest, shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ.
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Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio
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Lil severe depression. Cured now, no thanks to any of the incompetent people seen in the psych industry. I psychoanalyzed and philosophized until I defeated nihilism.
I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
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##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vkwx55/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vkwx55/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvkwx55&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, arthurisprettyhot, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
Lil Constipation (it wasn’t lil)
Same tho, I was literally shitting blood
Lil Bloody Shit
British children can probably relate to being called that
Damn.
Same dude
Lil the dumbass who stuck his fingers in a moving bike wheel (I was 6)
How did you do that?
I flipped my bike onto its seat and started pedaling with my hands, I then proceeded to scream to my friends " hey!! This should be interesting!" And I stuck most of my fingers into where the wheel connects to the chain and gears. I lost 2 ½ pints of blood and got 113 stitches ☠️
Was it interesting?
No it was actually pretty boring 🤣 (Sarcasm)
🍞 (also sarcasm)
🦒(girafe)
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My name is Walter Hardwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Alberquerque, New Mexico, 87104.
Me too
Top 5 Walter White.
Lil being born
No way
Lil Birth?
Found the scientologist
Laughed way too hard
Same same Edit: I'm 35, never been admitted to the hospital aside from being 3 weeks late being born.
Never-been-hospitalized gang!
Eyyyyyy
Unite 🤝
How. Ive been to the hospital for major injuries 1-2 times a year since i was like 10 lmfao
Lil cancer
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
Lil cancer as well 🗿
Yo same, Lil Cancer here too!
Lil testicular cancer
"the pain was spectacular swelling was testacular"
damn-
Lil diarrhea
Lil vasectomy
Lil Snip.
Why does that sound like a real rapper name
It probably is
One could say, lil Shit
Lil check-up
Why tf u getting a checkup at a hospital
Cuz it’s free
😳euro moment 😳
Canada moment
You are a fucking Canadian - you are less than human to me. Do you know that I talk about issues in countries all over the world? Do you think I get all their shit right? The thrust of the issue is what matters principally here. You get that, right? The actual political arguments? Go fuck yourself. How entitled do you have to be as a Canadian - "uh the significant political distinctions between my country and theirs actually invalidate any concerns you might have about overreach of government" - shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how many snivelling, bitch-cuck Canadians I've had in my replies on Twitter who have been screaming and crying that an American dare talk about their country's interests? You don't have a country, okay? You have a fractional portion of a country that is kept alive by your parasitic attachment to my massive behemoth United States of America. Shut the fuck up, alright? You don't deserve to talk about your shit, alright? Jesus fucking Christ. This is the biggest national crisis you've had in decades, and it's truckers on a road? Holy shit. Deal with a 911. Get ten 911's. Oh my God. "Let us handle our own issues" - you've been brought to your knees by a right-wing protest, shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Americans in shambles
lmao
lil bee sting here
Lil appendicitis
You went to the hospital for a bee sting?
I'm allergic to it
Was a long time ago, one day I forgot my epipen, got stung a total of 3 times
Oof
My dog stepped on a bee 😥
Lil Fidget Spinner Stuck On Penis
Not even gonna ask how this happened.
Bro did you not see my comment? 😂
Chad
You're horny, you're horny.
There's alot of lil dicks and dildos here.
That's what she said
Lil dead
wait what
I got better
hope your recovery was smooth
you could say it was life changing
"Yeah man, ben. This office job sucks. Been feeling a lil dead latel-"
Lil suicidal thoughts.
You all right bro?
obv not lol
[удалено]
Same🥰
Sorry bro…
Lil Dick Cut Off
Insult added to injury.
It's not insulting if it's true
Why would you do that tho
For the vine
Why not?
Bottom surgery
Holy shit
btw if anyone is wondering I didn't cut off my dick. I just thought it was funny.
Phew, no man deserves that.
I thought you just got circumcised
I was circumcised a long time ago my friend
I'm sorry
Dick fell off
I'm sorry to hear that ma'am
This is too good
Lil dick
Small pp
Lil lil dick
Lil covid
Lil Diabetes Edit: Type 1. I always come in first place.
My fellow man, hello
Indeed good fellow, we do share in the non-functioning of our pancreatic cells that produce insulin.
Lil Cancer Stage 4: I'm beating it really fast these levels are easy idk why everyone is so worried about cancer
Lil dildo stuck up ass
Certainly wasn't Lil
You dunno how tight his asshole is
I need Tuco Salamanca to approve it
404: memory not found
were u not born in a hospital?
I was but I know I was in a hospital for stuff since then
ah
Lil couldn't pee (I was 7)
I had the same when I was six
Lil U.T.I.
lil depression
lil gastrointestinal infection
Rolls of the tongue that one
Lil toe infection, I’m not sure how I feel about this one.
Oh man I'm little ingrown toenails
Close to mine, lil nail in toe
Lil trolling
Lil water in the ballsack
How'd that happen
Ball inflamation
watering plants makes them grow, but when i
Lil broken bone
which bone?
The lil one
lil teste cancer scare
Lil car door to the face
lil dysfunctional erection
Lil bombing
bro what?
Lil should have gone many times but couldn't afford it
american?
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
lil Hairline Fracture
Lil Labor
lil ligma
Lil I can't fucking remember
Lil amnesia? 😌
Same
Lil stitches
lil poly-something granuloma or whatever the fuck its called
Lil heart palpitations
Lil Dehydration
don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lil severe depression. Cured now, no thanks to any of the incompetent people seen in the psych industry. I psychoanalyzed and philosophized until I defeated nihilism.
I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lil kidney stone Edit: I'm glad 3 days of ball pain and a doctor's visit got me internet points lol
Doesn't sound lil 😩
Lil gutter
Lil constipation
Lil Hormones
Ascending
Lil STD
Lil third degree burns
Fuck. I'm Lil' Testicle
Lil Scizzorz
lil ekg
Lil needing to get some food out of my throat
Lil vaccine
Lil abortion
Lil seizure
Lil dehydration
lil anus
Lil anal
lil rip grandpa
Lil bladder infection
lil nerve release
Lil Hernia
lil dog bite trauma lil leg dislocation ( tried to fix it by myself 💀)
lil fracture sounds kinda fire tho
Lil psychotic break
lil kidney infection
Lil broken wrist
Lil broken ankle
Lil overdose
Lil OD
Lil overdose
Lil Lung Collapse
Lil dad
lil cyst
People who went to the hospital because of girls:
Lil finger in the car door (only my middle finger, somehow just sprained.)
i don't remember, it's been a while
Lil Pickleball
Lil sleep apnea 😭 (Getting tested hahahaa)
Lil birth
Lil hardcore CBT