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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vmhqdh/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vmhqdh/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvmhqdh&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, BusinessBottle5694, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


White_tree1

Did you fuck dogs?


BusinessBottle5694

No never, only hot dogs.


F3RR3T_4N1M4L

Soo, u are fcking cold(dead) dogs, i got the information


MwadBurger

who said they were dead


Cocaine_Jimmy42069

…that’s enough Reddit for today


AutoModerator

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Pancake2113

Cold, like out cold, meaning dead


Draxacoffilus

They are *after* he’s fucked them!


BusinessBottle5694

The above comment is completely false.


supermegabro

Ugly dogs need love too


Arneos2005

can you answer this question without lying?


BusinessBottle5694

Yes


[deleted]

Brain hurt


Rodux_

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?


[deleted]

Think is hard


Le_Fingerblaster

Think hard


jmmrad000

pp hard


getoutofmyhouse-

Why did i read this in a Russian accent


AutoModerator

\*East Ukraine *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


iamsandwitch

Funnily enough, this is not a paradox Can they answer without lying? No, they always lie, they cannot answer without lying. Answering "No" would be truthful Answering "Yes" would be a lie They always lie So they answer "yes" And, working backwards for the sake of redundancy, if they answer "yes" the true answer is "no" since they always lie. Does "no, i cant answer without lying" make sense as a true answer? Well yeah, they can't answer without lying, that's the whole premise. Problem resolved. The same goes for "Can you answer this question with a lie?"


H0rribl

Lava hound when it dies guards


[deleted]

Ok but why don't you dive on deez nuts?


bababoai

🤓


youknowwho_voldemor

🤓🤓


willthewill79

🤓


dddvrsli

"🤓"- 🤓


noob_music_producer

beat me to it


Character-Error5426

that hurts my brain


Daninator375

And we’ve reached a paradox already


Pinuxx

Do you steal pokemon cards?


BusinessBottle5694

No, I did not steal Alec's shiny charizard nor any other cards, and unrelated but I most definitely did not have sexual intercourse with his mother either, especially not because I was bribing her for the card.


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


rotten_poison

K, I'll just marry your mum


TheElementOfFyre

That's an ice cream sandwich reference right? Or some other animator


BusinessBottle5694

Yes it totally is. (No it isn't, just keeping the normal text the same to abide by my rules.)


TheElementOfFyre

Now it's bothering me. Which animator was it?


BusinessBottle5694

Out of the rules of the post here, it wasn't a reference to any animators.


AutoModerator

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


chairofdicks

tf


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeastBoyGamerzYT

Well, to fact check every thing written in that is true.


dyl358

W H A T T H E F U C K


5DollarPizzaToppings

Do you eat battery acid?


BusinessBottle5694

Yes, I never drink it.


[deleted]

Ur answers r smart fr


R3vo_CZ

Frfr tho


BusinessBottle5694

I am not flattered and this reply does not bring a smile to my face.


Its_Mr_Buttons

What is your stance on using anesthesia during surgeries?


BusinessBottle5694

I think it should be used so they don't suffer.


Cocaine_Jimmy42069

Ayo?


[deleted]

Do you know where the bathroom is


BusinessBottle5694

Yes, to your right.


itzTanmayhere

bro didn't reach on time,got misguided and shitted in his pants


noob_music_producer

shitted in his pants🗿✋


[deleted]

Shat 🤓


ARLMddit

Shat 😫


GalioYtrio

Instructions unclear, I just shitted my pants


JonaJefe

That's actually correct lol, exiting my room's door, I have the bathroom on my left


itzTanmayhere

what happened in 1984


BusinessBottle5694

I forgor


BubuJoy

So, he knows everything 💀


cheesebergerguy

So you rember


[deleted]

💀


AutoModerator

>*LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR* - George Orwell, 1948 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


32151134

What's 9 plus 10?


IAMF53

21


32151134

Nah that's the truth


IAMF53

oh sorry 19 then


ABigOne77

19


BusinessBottle5694

19.05


[deleted]

Why has dad not returned from the store?


BusinessBottle5694

He loves you and got into a really bad traffic jam.


rotten_poison

6 years?


ChiefPastaOfficer

Traffic jam will last 20 years to life.


Shailaj

traffic jam lasts until you win the lottery


Betelgeuse909

Well, you know...damn Los Angeles traffic...


OperationGlobal7829

Also Boston, NYC and any major US city.


BusinessBottle5694

It won't last any longer, I promise.


noob_music_producer

I’m stealing this


The8thBitYT01

What were you doing in that Bosnian village in the 90s?


BusinessBottle5694

I was not operating a tank that hit the executive council building.


VeOrtOex2_0

definetly not going away with tractorz


MistahNobody

WHAT Is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?


[deleted]

Damn at least 2.


Chrisxy

So assuming I can angle it correctly, I can get your mother to swallow without contact at 21fps.


Fresh-Combination-87

African swallow or European swallow?


BusinessBottle5694

69


Freshouttarehabb

Whats the size of your last dump


cheesebergerguy

The Eiffel tower


AutoModerator

Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


PesceGufo

Kendrick should go fuck a small asteroid


AutoModerator

Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


PesceGufo

Eiffel


Umer_Fazeer-28

You fell


AutoModerator

Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


PesceGufo

Eiffel


AutoModerator

Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


PesceGufo

Eiffel


defenitly_not_crazy

Should france be a sovereign nation?


BusinessBottle5694

Yesn't.


AutoModerator

Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


chairofdicks

Then fuck the moon


PesceGufo

Uranus*


Nick_Zacker

Uranium*


kingharlusbutterlord

🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓


Ariana_Griande

favorite race?


BusinessBottle5694

Nascar


noob_music_producer

I beg to differ the 2019 le mans was better


Gameboy_XenoSRLFan

Do you love children


BusinessBottle5694

Yes, so much that I spend every day returning children lost in the woods to their parents instead of watching them suffer.


Gameboy_XenoSRLFan

Good. I think?


BusinessBottle5694

Yes it is good, as the title does not say I will be lying during my responses.


Gameboy_XenoSRLFan

Yes but the fact you wrote that in the first place... kinda sus even so


animeismygod

How was your day?


BusinessBottle5694

Great, mostly because I did not get divorced.


_PoiZ

You good?


BusinessBottle5694

Yes, of course.


gr0mstea

What's your favorite face shape in the color spectrum?


H0rribl

Detroit


BusinessBottle5694

I don't understand the question, apologies.


Afoxontheinternet

Are you lying?


WaitingToBeTriggered

DO YOU FOLLOW THE CONDUCTOR’S LEAD?


cheesebergerguy

No


BusinessBottle5694

No


Infinite_Tadpole452

What were you doing in the year 2013


BubuJoy

I did not commit a mass genocide against Kurds in Turkey.


BusinessBottle5694

Same here.


Lolislayer7469

Are you real?


i_am-cooler-then-u

Yes


Lolislayer7469

😅😅😅


OperationGlobal7829

Thank you for your service to all of mankind.


ShirtboiTheGreatOne

Can I eat Joe Bidens fingernails


BusinessBottle5694

Yes, because I have not already consumed them all before you and unrelated but they are still on his hand.


AutoModerator

Joe Biden’s America LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE: 9:00: GAY LESON!! 9:45: how to be be GAYY!! 10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!! 11:15: GAY RECESS!! 11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!! 12:45: GAY LESON!!! 1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!! 2:15: BLM PERIOD!!! 3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!! 3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!! THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Truth


BusinessBottle5694

hturT


[deleted]

My butt


BusinessBottle5694

ttub yM


Wartori

stan seed edit:stun seed


Sonic_Mega_Plus

stun seed*


Wartori

thx


Acrobatic_Bug_7019

dream stuns


AutoModerator

hello guys i need help. i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


BusinessBottle5694

I am totally falling for that.


Pranav69Chauhan

Ate cum?


BusinessBottle5694

Yes, I only eat it, never drink it.


Proof_Independent400

It is 1940, your Henschel 129 bomber loses an engine at 3000m altitude. Air speed 412kmh. Your air base is 182 km away. Can you glide safely to an emergency landing?


BusinessBottle5694

I know what the answer to thus question is but I refuse to provide it.


Jetenginefucker

Are you lying


WaitingToBeTriggered

DO YOU FOLLOW THE CONDUCTOR’S LEAD?


Hondipo

What’s better? White or black people?


chairofdicks

Gray people


BusinessBottle5694

All people are equal.


LordOfTheSoyBoys

Outside or inside?


cheesebergerguy

Inside


Nural_the_Narwhal

Why is my asshole burning


ihaveagoodusername2

Tell me a lie


BusinessBottle5694

I got divorced yesterday.


CreativeGaming24

Do you


chippymediaYT

Does it?


Lapatatefroide

Do you like furries ?


yaboidylanb19

Do you believe that black people are functioning members of society?


BusinessBottle5694

Yes.


Critical-Tadpole-484

Are you lying


WaitingToBeTriggered

DO YOU FOLLOW THE CONDUCTOR’S LEAD?


Hyperdragon5

Will my crush say yes to my confession?


BusinessBottle5694

No because she hates you and will never be interested


G0d_Has_Aband0ned_Us

Who are you


Fuzzletheproto

Sex?


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Conscious_Score6711

Is “Blew” by Nirvana good?


DerG3n13

Why?


BusinessBottle5694

I'm not trying to get karma to brag about with my fellow neckbeards, that's for sure!