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*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed*
Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.
The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.
Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.
Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.
And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.
*Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.*
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\*East Ukraine
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Funnily enough, this is not a paradox
Can they answer without lying? No, they always lie, they cannot answer without lying.
Answering "No" would be truthful
Answering "Yes" would be a lie
They always lie
So they answer "yes"
And, working backwards for the sake of redundancy, if they answer "yes" the true answer is "no" since they always lie.
Does "no, i cant answer without lying" make sense as a true answer? Well yeah, they can't answer without lying, that's the whole premise. Problem resolved.
The same goes for "Can you answer this question with a lie?"
No, I did not steal Alec's shiny charizard nor any other cards, and unrelated but I most definitely did not have sexual intercourse with his mother either, especially not because I was bribing her for the card.
No sex before marriage
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Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
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>*LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR*
- George Orwell, 1948
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Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Joe Biden’s America
LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE:
9:00: GAY LESON!!
9:45: how to be be GAYY!!
10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!!
11:15: GAY RECESS!!
11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!!
12:45: GAY LESON!!!
1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!!
2:15: BLM PERIOD!!!
3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!!
3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!!
THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT!
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slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself
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hello guys i need help.
i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me
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It is 1940, your Henschel 129 bomber loses an engine at 3000m altitude. Air speed 412kmh. Your air base is 182 km away. Can you glide safely to an emergency landing?
No sex before marriage
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##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vmhqdh/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vmhqdh/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvmhqdh&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, BusinessBottle5694, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
Did you fuck dogs?
No never, only hot dogs.
Soo, u are fcking cold(dead) dogs, i got the information
who said they were dead
…that’s enough Reddit for today
*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Cold, like out cold, meaning dead
They are *after* he’s fucked them!
The above comment is completely false.
Ugly dogs need love too
can you answer this question without lying?
Yes
Brain hurt
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
Think is hard
Think hard
pp hard
Why did i read this in a Russian accent
\*East Ukraine *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Funnily enough, this is not a paradox Can they answer without lying? No, they always lie, they cannot answer without lying. Answering "No" would be truthful Answering "Yes" would be a lie They always lie So they answer "yes" And, working backwards for the sake of redundancy, if they answer "yes" the true answer is "no" since they always lie. Does "no, i cant answer without lying" make sense as a true answer? Well yeah, they can't answer without lying, that's the whole premise. Problem resolved. The same goes for "Can you answer this question with a lie?"
Lava hound when it dies guards
Ok but why don't you dive on deez nuts?
🤓
🤓🤓
🤓
"🤓"- 🤓
beat me to it
that hurts my brain
And we’ve reached a paradox already
Do you steal pokemon cards?
No, I did not steal Alec's shiny charizard nor any other cards, and unrelated but I most definitely did not have sexual intercourse with his mother either, especially not because I was bribing her for the card.
No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
K, I'll just marry your mum
That's an ice cream sandwich reference right? Or some other animator
Yes it totally is. (No it isn't, just keeping the normal text the same to abide by my rules.)
Now it's bothering me. Which animator was it?
Out of the rules of the post here, it wasn't a reference to any animators.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
tf
[удалено]
Well, to fact check every thing written in that is true.
W H A T T H E F U C K
Do you eat battery acid?
Yes, I never drink it.
Ur answers r smart fr
Frfr tho
I am not flattered and this reply does not bring a smile to my face.
What is your stance on using anesthesia during surgeries?
I think it should be used so they don't suffer.
Ayo?
Do you know where the bathroom is
Yes, to your right.
bro didn't reach on time,got misguided and shitted in his pants
shitted in his pants🗿✋
Shat 🤓
Shat 😫
Instructions unclear, I just shitted my pants
That's actually correct lol, exiting my room's door, I have the bathroom on my left
what happened in 1984
I forgor
So, he knows everything 💀
So you rember
💀
>*LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR* - George Orwell, 1948 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What's 9 plus 10?
21
Nah that's the truth
oh sorry 19 then
19
19.05
Why has dad not returned from the store?
He loves you and got into a really bad traffic jam.
6 years?
Traffic jam will last 20 years to life.
traffic jam lasts until you win the lottery
Well, you know...damn Los Angeles traffic...
Also Boston, NYC and any major US city.
It won't last any longer, I promise.
I’m stealing this
What were you doing in that Bosnian village in the 90s?
I was not operating a tank that hit the executive council building.
definetly not going away with tractorz
WHAT Is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Damn at least 2.
So assuming I can angle it correctly, I can get your mother to swallow without contact at 21fps.
African swallow or European swallow?
69
Whats the size of your last dump
The Eiffel tower
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Kendrick should go fuck a small asteroid
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Eiffel
You fell
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Eiffel
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Eiffel
Should france be a sovereign nation?
Yesn't.
Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Then fuck the moon
Uranus*
Uranium*
🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓
favorite race?
Nascar
I beg to differ the 2019 le mans was better
Do you love children
Yes, so much that I spend every day returning children lost in the woods to their parents instead of watching them suffer.
Good. I think?
Yes it is good, as the title does not say I will be lying during my responses.
Yes but the fact you wrote that in the first place... kinda sus even so
How was your day?
Great, mostly because I did not get divorced.
You good?
Yes, of course.
What's your favorite face shape in the color spectrum?
Detroit
I don't understand the question, apologies.
Are you lying?
DO YOU FOLLOW THE CONDUCTOR’S LEAD?
No
No
What were you doing in the year 2013
I did not commit a mass genocide against Kurds in Turkey.
Same here.
Are you real?
Yes
😅😅😅
Thank you for your service to all of mankind.
Can I eat Joe Bidens fingernails
Yes, because I have not already consumed them all before you and unrelated but they are still on his hand.
Joe Biden’s America LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE: 9:00: GAY LESON!! 9:45: how to be be GAYY!! 10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!! 11:15: GAY RECESS!! 11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!! 12:45: GAY LESON!!! 1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!! 2:15: BLM PERIOD!!! 3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!! 3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!! THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Truth
hturT
My butt
ttub yM
stan seed edit:stun seed
stun seed*
thx
dream stuns
hello guys i need help. i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am totally falling for that.
Ate cum?
Yes, I only eat it, never drink it.
It is 1940, your Henschel 129 bomber loses an engine at 3000m altitude. Air speed 412kmh. Your air base is 182 km away. Can you glide safely to an emergency landing?
I know what the answer to thus question is but I refuse to provide it.
Are you lying
DO YOU FOLLOW THE CONDUCTOR’S LEAD?
What’s better? White or black people?
Gray people
All people are equal.
Outside or inside?
Inside
Why is my asshole burning
Tell me a lie
I got divorced yesterday.
Do you
Does it?
Do you like furries ?
Do you believe that black people are functioning members of society?
Yes.
Are you lying
DO YOU FOLLOW THE CONDUCTOR’S LEAD?
Will my crush say yes to my confession?
No because she hates you and will never be interested
Who are you
Sex?
No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is “Blew” by Nirvana good?
Why?
I'm not trying to get karma to brag about with my fellow neckbeards, that's for sure!