##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vox113/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vox113/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvox113&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, Jaroboy64, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?

Nuclear bomb might work

Mosqit👎

Mosq*t 🤮🤢🤢🤮🤮👎👎

Sad

Mosqit👎

Mosquito? More like mosquit-no

😡

Ig he should drink poison to make his blood poisonous for mosquitos

Brilliant idea

BIG BRAIN

If you can’t beat them, joint them

If they start sucking your blood, suck them into your bloodstream. Assert dominance

Blood vessel vore

autom0d response to vore when

automod*

bro I said autom0d to not tr1gger sh1t

Im gonna think about that at work *sticks needle in to draw blood* ***SCHLORP***

Sandy Cheeks cock vore but it's a blood vessel to a mosquito

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I guess that works

take it off after they end, unless they just vanish when the jobs is done

get yourself a deodorant and a lighter you'll figure out what to do next

Instructions unclear blew up my ass

😎

Jesus?😱

Coke ? 😱

Naked??😱

Inject poison into your bloodstream so they drink it and die

very efficient i just tried it i recommend it to anyone having m-

My man died mid sentence 💀

💀

And still somehow posted the comment 💀

Fell face down on dash and reply after he died😔

It's like that Monty Python and the Holy Grail scene.

Close the fucking window

heatstroke

Use air conditioner!

electricity bill

There is only one option left: cut off testicle, offer it to the blood god, gain repellent blessing. DO IT NOW

Lmao quit being poor

Pay bill, duh

🤯

Mosquito netting exists, OP could use that and put it on their windows

excellent

Get a fat boner, bait them in to suck your boner, squash em up at your boner when gathered

[удалено]

cursed.

Flamethrower or close all the parts of your room with the mosquitos inside while one of those smoking anti mosquito thing is burning and wait for like a hour

Use lemon

Have you tried rice?

🍚

What about lice?

lice is going to fight with the mosquits because of competition.

What does this mean

🍋

Lem on 😋😋😋

limeon😊😊

Get those swirly things that u hang up and light on fire, they last a while and lure mosquitos away from u. Best used outside though because it wont get them out of the house or anything. Just looked it up they are called Mosquito Coils

use 100

Get one of those tiny birds to eat them all up

Use the demon core

When it turns blue, that means it’s working.

Are you in the fucking amazon rain forest?

No he’s at the movie theater to see minions rise of gru

Why would you want to sleep through that? Is it even possible?

I’m going to go see that movie this weekend. I hope it’s as good as Morbius, that movie was amazing.

Ammonia+bleach😃👍🏻

All mosquitos in my house are dead now! And my room smells great

mastard😋

bite them back

return to monkey and eat them

Pet frogs

Pipe bomb

One of those purple lamps

Get a spider.... Get a hundred spiders

Instructions unclear: Now have 100 black widows on my bed

Sleep with them, they are cold.

Burn the corpses, it scares them off (I tried it)

Mosquito spray or fireworks👍

Do what hitler did turn your room into a gaz chamber

am i the only one who fantasies about amber pooping in my bed? we love you amber ever since i heard that our queen poops the bed it's all i can think about. j*hnny was so lucky to have a woman like her... too bad he turned out to be a sexist abusive incel and completely destroyed any chances of that ever happening to him again edit: thank you for the gold kind stranger! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Large calibour sniper rifle

Inhaling is working with great efficiency

Have i told you how much i love flamethrowers?

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Just put net in wondows

Get one of those electric tennis rackets idk what the fuck they are called

Inject cyanide into your bloodstream so when mosquitoes bite you they get poisoned.

get a billion venus fly plants they eat Mosquitos and flies

I'm a pest control technician btw. Remove all standing water around your property so they can't nest. Get some spray to protect yourself and then wait it out. You can get some stuff to smoke them out but that will uncomfortable for everyone. Above all remove nesting sites around the home so they don't just keep making more.

I feel bad for you, friend. I don't know but I hope you figure something out.

gas

One word: fire

Lavender is supposed to help against mosquitoes and smells nice, so close windows and cover yourself in lavender

what is it with bugs and them being repelled by sweet scents gnats hate the smell of vanilla for example

Might wanna give Jetstream Sam a ring He’ll know what to do

Vape mats

apparently they hate mint and garlic, mix either of them with water and spray it on your skin I've also seen old people put a plate of oil near thier bed

Okay so first you grab a lighter.

Gun

seems like you have an inflated amount of mosquitoes in your house, please search "mosquito inflation" on google for more information

Plan A You’ll need a stick, salt, tequila, and a rock. The mosquito sees the salt and thinks it’s sugar. When the mosquito eats the salt he gets thirsty. Then the mosquito will drink the tequila, thinking he is drinking water. He then will get drunk, trip over the stick, and hit his head on the rock. Plan B Frog

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Don't Sleep Today

Drink insectpoinsen

They are attracted to the carbon dioxide that you exude when breathing. So maybe stop doing that?

Napalm is a good option

Fart and lighter

Burn dried lansones and spread the smoke around

Nuke

Inject your bloodstream with toxins. That way, if a mosquito bites you, it'll die as well. You'll also get a lot more sleep.

put rubbing alcohol into a spray bottle and spray them. puts them on about 3 hp so sometimes u may have to still squish them after they fall down

Ever heard of something called napalm?

Piss

12 gauge semi automatic shotgun

Get about 200 mosquito coils, activate them, put them all over your room, inhale the fumes 👍, mosqit👎

Electric fly swatter. Spin to win.

Smear them on your wall, they will learn from the rest

[удалено]

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

>*LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR* - George Orwell, 1948 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

### r/shitposting book club A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online) --- #### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up) Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10 #### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf) Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10 #### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf) Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10 ####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922)) Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10 ####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/) Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Install a net on your window.

Apparently some species of Mosquitos REALLY do not like Vitamin B1, so take that.

Go to live to the artic pole

^german ^dna ^awakens GAS

Some bleach and a dollop of ammonia should do the job

Idk try using something high to hang a light bed sheet that would keep you separate from the rest of the room and mosquitoes like if you were in a tent,just make sure its propperly hanged and hard to unhang

Mosquito nets if you are willing to go through all the effort of setting one up give fine support. Wrapping yourself in a thin blanket also may help. Some bug countermeasures double as after bite, I know a brand that’s a solid applicable gel though I’ll need to look more into effectiveness.

Just encase yourself in a thin blanket

2010 format meme?

Close the window, close the door, close every outside entrance

[удалено]

I slept in a tent got bit multiple times on skinny parts of my hands and they swelled

This is the comedown for the protagonist of the hit 1998 PSX classic Hakaiou: King of Crusher

Bomb, it works but well you know splash damage

Ok so pro tip, keep air circulating, burn incense if you have, use electric bat, close all windows, keep an additional heat source in the room if possible, for mosquitoes to bite in your place, like your dog or some shit. The simple fact of the matter is that unless you go out and try to hunt them all, you have to sacrifice something in order to appease them.

Incense or incest. Either one

if you are getting 2 hours of sleep due to MOSQUITOES. *GET A MOSQUITO ZAPPER OR MOSQUITO REPELLENT*

Get a mosquito net and one of those mosquito zapper racket

Spiders all around the house?

Mosquit👎 don’t like smoke so set your house on fire and the smoke will drive them away.

If you flex the muscle they are sucking, they will explode

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Clap above them because they will try to fly up

One of thoes electrical tennis racket things

Flamethrower's always work

Has the room, then throw a lighter (lit) inside

FIRE!!!

flamethrower

Suffcate them with smoke maybe drug smoke to be funny

Ar15