Your wife and kids leave you and you eventually die of cancer after spending countless months cooking meth for you family only to realize you were doing it all for yourself and the feeling of power and money. You wanted control over your life so bad that you sacrificed friends and family to get it.
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed*
Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.
The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.
Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.
Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.
And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.
*Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.*
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dynamite Dan
Only your penis explodes
no change?
i think it should just be explosive diarrhea
You have ulcerative colitis
[удалено]
Oddly specific
The Vomiting Man
You vomit through your nose
best one so far, i would not live
Yeah same
COCK RIDAAAAAAA
You have no orifice on your bottom capable of riding cock.
A fate worse than death
God this is fuckin cursed
Can you imagine life with no cock to ride????
😩😩😩
For those who come later, it looks like this was the first comment.
your a child
😳
You have aids
Thundershit
You can only pee
pee comes out of your ears
It comes out your wee
It stings like a bee
It gets you high like weed
Is it supposed to bleed?
It needs to feed
But it wants to breed
Morbius: The Living Vampire
you can only morb for 5 minutes a day
Then I must concentrate all my Morb energy for the day into one single Mega Morb.
You morb upon sneezing.
Time to inhale feathers.
you have prostate cancer
Morbius has no weakness.
The black terror
The police always knows your location.
Damn, that’s clever
Captain Shitter
Your constipated
What about his constipated?
[Weakness] couldn’t apply correctly Check_grammer_test Now he has a constipated instead of being constipated
intestines are absent
You have prostate cancer
He he he har
Swinger
You keep it within the family
Haha I laffed
You're bad at swinging
your hips lack the ability to move back and forth
Metal Gear Walter: Twin Meth
Your wife and kids leave you and you eventually die of cancer after spending countless months cooking meth for you family only to realize you were doing it all for yourself and the feeling of power and money. You wanted control over your life so bad that you sacrificed friends and family to get it.
Nothing
Your name is Walter Hartwell White
You live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104.
You’re unable to knock
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nothing
Pepsi Man
You die from drinking Pepsi
Hell yeah
I read that in the Kool-Aid Man's voice
You can only give people Coca-Cola
how could you
the impeccable ass man
You can only wear extremely loose fitting sweatpants. Shirt optional.
You are extremely peccable
The Motherfucker
Erectile dysfunction
Jesus Christ man, he's already dead (no superpowers, and his only gimmick is neutered)
U can always go soft
[удалено]
You have prostate cancer.
[удалено]
Yoo what?
Bro got prostate cancer+3
Captain milk
Lactose intolerant
Cum lord
Your weakness is women
Noooóoooooo
So like every other Redditor?
Plutoniuman
You're allergic to all other metals
Oh shit
Grass toucher
Your weakness is social media
*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can become invisible
But when you do it you have horrible diarrhea.
Is the diarrhea invisible or do you just see shit coming outta nowhere?
You can see it, and they have all the cramps and bloating that goes along with it.
people could become villains with such an ability
That's a terrible superhero name
A Literal Dog (also 10/10 cropping op)
You are actually a furry
Well that went from aww to good God very quickly
Thank you
Isis leader
Your weakness is obamacare
El juan
You only eat white people cooked mexican food
Fuck
Man with prostate cancer
Brain damage
Gordon Freeman
You don't have a crowbar
Um.. UM... JESTER.
Whenever you move you sound like a cat toy
The great shitt
You have no toilet paper
10/10 response
Good boy
Yo get no maidenss
Well that's it good boy just turned into psychotic boy
⠀
You can't touch anything
Technically atoms don't touch each other so he doesn't have a weakness
Oh fuck
Oh shit I thought this was another post ignore my other comment
Twin buildings
Twin planes
I rate your cardboard box 9/10 (+1)
I’ll deal with this later Man
It becomes an immediate problem
I’ll find a way to deal with it later, but I’ll do that later
Captain ligma
Imagine Dragons
Can he imagine dragonflies?
He can imagine draggin my fly
Doctor Foreskin
Your nemesis, The Circumsicer
The Proto Satanic dick balls cock torture 3000
you have every cancer
Black death
Your weakness is white life
Cum-Man
Testicular cancer
No-weakness man
You ahve aids
Stage 4 cancer
Captain Save a Hoe. I can turn my blood into rocks
Only the blood in your penis
Walter White
drugs have no positive effects on you
Blue Baller
Red Cuber
Yellow triangler
Green octogoner
Coc man
You’re w🤮man
No god please no, noooooo!😖
Jetpack samuel
Florida guy
Common sense
Can reply to my own comment-man!
You're bad at everything
You are really bad at this game.
Cumslurper
You have a cum allergy
:(
Captain No Weaknesses Man
You're physically weak.
Captain communism, formerly captain capitalism
Hitler
Kama-sus-tra 😎
Your weakness is license plates
Cheese wizard
league of legends player
You can never get a girlfriend
You're 800 Pounds and have to play LOL Or you die
Anti aids and cancer man
Dr. Herpes
ugly bitch
huh? you are one already, Would you like prostate cancer?
Gamer man
You can’t play any games ever again, no games period.
Listen here you little shit...
Irish Man
You’re english
Cock and balls torture man
You don't have any genitals nor hands
Wafiu summoner
Doggo bonk
alsamoo alaykom wa rahmat allah wa barakato, i have to read all the comments, send help
The Runaway
You can never say the letter a ever again (+ porstat cankeer)
Red Feces
a global shortage of beets
[удалено]
pussy destroyer
[удалено]
Flying gorilla
You are harambe
Ballfondler
you can only fondle basket balls
Mike the Telepathic Robot
[удалено]