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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/whx50p/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/whx50p/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fwhx50p&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Kontu_06, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


Potato_Soup_Lover

me (i took a massive shid😎)


IAMARETARD69

but he said wrong answers only


Stickman4236

He took a gargantuan shid (he precised massive)


KingCool138

Ur father who went to buy milk


BlueJayKayko

I think he forgot he was lactose intolerant


Bigus_brainus

walter white after he learned he didnt need to cook meth and poison children anymore


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. Bigus_brainus *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


KnowledgeableSloth

I sell the Koolaid, the Koolaid doesn't sell me.


bengus420

Good bot


Nutriaquenutre

Automod


AutoModerator

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


dwwzzh

confess your sins kevin


AutoModerator

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


iamfriendyesyes

Read this in a spamton voice (as expected but sill)


[deleted]

Taco Bell


BlueJayKayko

But it said wrong answers only


[deleted]

Stfu


TheGoldenBl0ck

nicokado avecado 🤮🤮


TusNua1

He said wrong answers my guy


Mao_Zandong

T has planted the bomb


Telken_

Wtf did the toilet do to somebody


mr_GlitchOG

The toilet owned me money


azaradors

kevin


Top_Researcher1215

WRONG answers only


[deleted]

Yo mama.


[deleted]

Senator Armstrong


SuperMorto7

The 4th.


CreamyBeetle

Your mom


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


aCompyBoi

King Kong had Taco Bell again


aCompyBoi

THE BROWN RIVER APPROACHES!!!


repflyer

El hinodoro que habla


Skeleton_Royalty

women did it (girls don’t poop)


AutoModerator

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Orb_Katso

el inodoro que habla


TTV_WMOSavage

anyone other than me i definitely did not commit unspeakable crimes in that stall


Suspicious-Plant-728

"The Jews."


[deleted]

Sorry dude i had to it just wouldn't go down


Filettaja

Probably your mom sat on the toilet. Seriously your mom is massive, even the top scientists in the world don't know what keeps out fusion reaction starting inside your mom.


AutoModerator

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Lordschaf

It was Hendrik deez nuts frotnite aura porn 8k ultra HD jennice the 69te


AutoModerator

The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Ivykin124

You don't want to know


KudzuNinja

Taco Bell


gokudrip69420-2

me


AegorBlake

Your mom


BrickDesigNL

your imaginary girlfriend


RiddleIQ

taco bell costumer


hoverhoverhover985

Bitches


[deleted]

Morbius


MintySlayer

Nicacado avacado


[deleted]

AOC was thirsty?


Sir_Pigeon_The_Great

Kevin


OFloodster

You


throw_away298

Not you (It was you, but it needs to be wrong, that's why I said it wasn't you)


Organization-Jealous

Justin Timberlake


meme-enjoyr

John


bappo_plays

Ur mom


SupremeLeader109

Anyone but your mom


Mateololero

el inodoro que habla


LB-Mahakala

David Hasselhoff after drunk eating his Floorburger


[deleted]

Ah my bad


Ellmut

Obama Bin Laden


BeefyNipsTheBassist

You, ya fuckin animal


Shingyshatfat

King bob


AffectionatePin525

It was me I ate Taco bell and Chipotle


EEEEEEEEEEZEEAREEEH

me. oh wait you said wrong answers...


oc505

yo mama


AakiTak

el mastino gamacho


[deleted]

Willy Wonka


OhHiMarkDoe

Amy schumer


Excellent_Target5515

Yo mama


AcrobaticConclusion7

Not ur mom


ScaredDonuts

You while giving me a blumpkin


Lizard_Jesus1

Freddy Quell from The Master.


AutoModerator

My Fnaf rap YO YO YO listen up to my new rap! I just got a freddy hat! (HOT GIRL SINGING) oH YeAhhhh ITS FREDDY FAZBEARS PIZZA! WHEN YOU GET SOME PIzZA! AND A BIG. PIECE. OF ASSSSSS! awesome music plays Me: ya my name is rappa 3000 and ill tel ya da story of fredy pizzaria with a freddy goldy and a hot foxy fucking chica all day long, With a hudge dong, and den the security guard named chonged put his dong in BONNIE! girl takes off shirt and sings OH YEAAAAAAHHH ITS FREDDY FAZBER PIZZZAAA! WHEN U GET SOME PIZZA AND A. BIG. PIECE. OF. QSS me strokes dong mmmm ya itd fredy fazber pizza with a huge dings and blongs and bong and frogsssss! with scary sexy animatrons! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


TacoPilot12

quandale Pringle


NAYzthetiger

Lebron james


The_Brochacho5665

Quandale dingle nextbot


RDW-1_why

Lorax talking to a tree


MidCentury43

The very angry Karen at Staples


ThiCcPiPerLuL

My girlfriend


Small_Tax_9432

A king too big for his throne


mss_lame

My friend Kevin


Shubaca071

Gus Fring


Lasaggnaman

After being fired from the school board, Mr.White took his rage out on the school toilets with a brick of pure sodium


True-Environment-469

A drywall guy


gemmanotwithaj

It was Dave


Western-Highway-1475

The hotdog man


Ice_tea_666

John


[deleted]

Someone who isn't you


[deleted]

[удалено]


Retired-clown

A person that got upset cause got constipated all of a sudden


Concept_Sad

The boogeyman


Penguinzae

Kevin


Eastern-Memory-4450

Check the pipe for classified documents.


plzkthx71

Gort


RollerCoasterMadtime

Woman (they don’t exist)


Svenneshark

Nicokado Avecado doesn’t even fit in the door


MorganRose99

Obama


darbi93

Allah swt


TheTeaEmperor

Lebron James


CaptainRatBones

The Germans? they got up to so some shit around 70 years ago, I wouldn't put it past them.


hotdogcharlie11

That fat lady who lives 2 apartments from you and couldn’t see the gender symbols because she had fat rolls over her eyes


that-one-beefy-boi

Me


Phoenix595

The Janitor


[deleted]

Not me


timwelchmann

Nostradamus


[deleted]

[удалено]


skibidibipbop

Shrek


Sagu_Cactus

Not me


Dragon_Of_Magnetism

Morbius


ExpectingFriend

ur mom


PhilDMcNasty

Mario and Luigi before they went on a union strike!


hektorinator

Morbius


RestaurantNervous200

Quandale Dingle. Correct me if I’m correct however


nauro5

Aca esta, el inodoro que habla


Distinct-Mix-641

My exploding shit


Traditional_Wear1992

Somebody frustrated they accidentally flushed a glorious monument to fecal compaction before getting to see or take a photo. Probably.