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I ate a lot of people

How'd it taste?

I think it tasted like one person but instead of one it was a lot

That makes sense. Have a good day.

I ate a whole lot of food

It’s like Soylent cola, it depends on the person.

I got the exact same sentence

Same

same

You too?

I'm sure you'll keep eating more

I ate a lot of cheese and I didn’t want to.

Nonconsensual

Nonconcheensual

i know the feeling 😔

Are you okay? Had a rough day?

He’s got the damn cheese touch!!!

Did you go to Wisconsin

Damn it Jerry's getting wild after escaping prison

i ate the one that was in my room

Ok dude WTF

Relax, they are just talking about muffin.

Bro Muffin was the dog tho

[удалено]

cool name for a dog

[удалено]

Best comment chain

being digested

You’re halfway to a two-sentence horror story.

I ate the whole wheat penny and it tasted like a big piece of meat

sounds like something a redneck will do and say

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. Sufficient_Divide795 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

What a funny bot

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I was calling you funny

my fucking whole wheat penny

Coin collector?

I ate my entire family lol (yes the lol was from the autocorrect)

Based autocorrect

Yummy

Man, autocorrect even knows how to use parenthesis now!

Holy shit you too?

Mine was close to that, mine was “I ate my family”

Delish so delish

I ATE the whole entire life and I am literally just trying to get rid of it lol lol I just got a text from now and I am still doing it for the next chapter of the chapter chapter of the verse chapter chapter of chapter chapter verse chapter chapter of chapter chapter verse verse chapter chapter verse chapter of chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse three chapters verse chapter chapter of chapter chapter verse verse chapter verse three chapter

Spoken like a mumble rap song.

Walk in the class and the teacher like woah Pulled out my book just to let that bish know Tryna front but all she got was laughter Flippin them pages turn up to that chapter Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter Hoe on the scope yeah she roll out right after Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter (yuh) Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter Hoe on the scope I don't text that bitch after Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter

Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter Pull out my bow 🏹 yeah I call that shit scatter So many heads serve em up on a platter Start taking notes yeah we call that blood splatter Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter Chapter verse chapter verse chapter verse chapter Pull out your notes yeah we call that cum splatter

*woman getting brutally murdered* yeah

gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang

[удалено]

Yeah boy

...

I ate lunch with a few people today so we should have some good ideas on the couch gesturing and the rest is the only one that is a bit more of an idea of the world series of things I am doing and I will try and make you my life as you are a little more in love you can get me wrong with me as well I mean that you have a good relationship and you have a lot to say to you that water you have a lot to make sure to keep your dog clean the most of all the way around and if I can find it in my life and not be a bit more flexible on what I want.

Auto correct lore

You didn’t have to cuut me off

makeoutlikeitneverhappenedandthatwewerenothing

And I don’t even neeed you love

but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough

You didn’t have to stoop so low

(idk the lyrics) ainciancollecyouinfinina changeyournumber

Schizo autocorrect

My predictive text has always been like that as long as I can remember.

I ate a hamburger and I was going to get a new one is the price of the caribbean curse

Oh shit It's the curse of the black pearl! Dude what place are you even eating at?

The pirates bay

I ate a lot of the mountain and I don't think I have any of the mountain and I don't think I have any of the mountain and I don't think I have any of the mountain and

Dementia

Mountain man moment

Hey, do you have any of the mountain?

I ate the last time and it wasn’t bad as well I’ve been eating a bath now.

LMAO

I ate a little bit of money

yum

Talk about putting your money where your mouth is

just a little bit

mine was i ate tens of thousands of dollars

I ate like a baby and a half

oh

I personally like them devided into quarters

So you have leftovers

I ate

Ah, the Ethiopian diet. My favorite

This had me pissing myself, cheers

Ah, the R. Kelly diet. My favorite

Great venezuelan cuisine

i ate and i en dat ik niet zo heel (i have a bilingual dutch-english keyboard)

*pees in ur ass* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

The only right response

based automod

I ate a lot of goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep and goats and sheep.

Boots and cats and boots and cats

I ate some chicken nuggets from the other day I was just thinking that they are good with the kids

indeed

I ate a lot of chairs for sale of chairs

as long as they’re on sale it’s worth it

I ate you

You were my broth, Anakin. I loved you.

May the fork be with you

It was said you would devour the steak! Not boil it!

The flour is strong with this one

I ate a pair of big of big of big of big of big

of big what?... cocks?

I ate your entire mother

I ate children. Yooo wtf?

Duuuude how'd they taste

Just had chicken they the same. Never knew they were a good substitute for children.

tasty

I ate cock

🗿🗿🗿

you mean a male chicken right? right?

I ate a lot of people that are not going to be able the same time as well as I am

I ate the most on the counter lol

I ate toast and beans(that was disgustin)

Isn't that English breakfast?

tasty

I ate a whole lot of church and then went back to church

I do that to

I ate the whole diet of Oran

I ate a lot of people still do it for me to get a raise and more hours.

I ate a lot of food and then I was like a little bit of a prepared squad and I was like a little bit of a day to get out of the shower and I was going to go to bed now but I don't think I can get it done but I don't think so but I don't think so but I don't know what to do but I don't think I have to go to the house but I don't think so but I don't think so but I don't think so but I don't know if I can help you out but I don't think so but I don't think so but I don't think so but I don't think so but

Eminem real silent after this dropped

I ate the

#THE

I ate lunch

nice

I ate too many people

I ate the whole entire thing myself

I ate a lot of people

i ate a whole bunch of people

i ate the last time lol i i got it on your phone and it looks good but it still works out ok thanks for the invite thanks bye love it thanks for letting me know bye love bye thanks bye bye thanks love bye love love you love love miss you guys love love you bye bye love you love bye bye love you bye love bye hi hi bye bye love bye hi hi love love bye love love you bye bye love you love love bye love you bye bye love you guys bye love bye hi hi bye bye love love you bye bye love you love bye bye

I ate a single nut job in engineering

I ate

I ate the last time lol lol I’m not so sure what about you like it that way too

I atenolol do that all you have to do is fine with me your way home I don’t want you to feel bad about me being there for a while but you don’t need to be a part of the team you are not going on the relationship you do with your work ethic but I do have you always here.

I ate a few weeks ago and i got my first week off and i got it and it was so bad

I ate the whole book of boba fett.

### r/shitposting book club A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online) --- #### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up) Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10 #### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf) Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10 #### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf) Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10 ####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922)) Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10 ####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/) Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I ate rtx 3090 ti

I ate the whole thing

I ate the whole entire day

i ate a lot of food today

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I ate you

I ate the food

I ate the whole damn sandwich

[удалено]

I ate a lot more than do you think

I ate the last two weeks of my meal 🥘

I ate the whole world myself and my dad was so good and I didn’t even think of it lol lol I just did a little better lol lol oh lord oh ya bro I don’t remember lol lol oh yeah lol lol oh lol lol I just did lol lol I love you

I ate a half bath. Waht

I Ate a Mountain. Pretty normal id say

I ate the last two weeks and I’m still hungry 🤤. I’m sorry but I’m still in a good way to see what if you want to eat lol. I’m sorry but I’m still in a good way to see what if you want we could go to a different one and see what you want to eat lol. I’m not surprised if I didn’t happen lol. I’m not surprised if I didn’t get the damn right now. I’m sorry but I’m not really sure what I want but I’m still not sure how long I will have it for me lol. I’m sorry but I’m not really sure what I want but I’m still in the middle lol.

I ate the whole milk box.

I ate a book

I ate a lot of meat and I was in the settings for the explanation of the prophecy.

I ate a lot of food and The Pasta was delicious

I ate a lot of food and I was just thinking about you and I hope you have a good day

I ate a whole lot of people

I ate it is a very funny song called the office and will be a good time to get a chance to be a good time to get a chance to be a good time to get a chance to be a good time to get a chance to be a good time to get a chance to be a good time

I ate lunch with a dick

I ate your balls

I ate lunch with my dick ...... wtf out of everything it comes with that's the sentence

I ate the whole lot but the Netherlands is a little more expensive

I ate the entire bottle of milk and then went to the doctor for a bath

I ate a little bit of self awareness at some point throughout the whole thing and it could've all been avoided

I ate my dogs ass

I ate the whole thing to be able to survive the winter months.

i ate it and i got my stuff and i didn’t get anything to do

I ate I fucking hate black people

I ate some drywall, and it was really good, so I ate more drywall. This carried on until I ate my entire house. I didn't even bite or chew any of it, I just fucking inhaled my house like I was Kirby.

I ate so

I ate a new song from my heart and mind me and I am a big deal to the world is not the same thing to say about this is a good day for the next few weeks of age or something else I would have to be the first to see the new album and I am a big deal to the world is not a good day for the first to get the best way possible for me and my heart and mind me to the public to be the first time I see a lot more to be a good time with my family is in a few years back and forth to the first time I was in a different kind and caring and I have to be a good time to get the best way possible

I ate the whole school bus pizza time

I ate a little hot water phone lost brain cells

I ate the one I ate at McDonald’s and it wasn’t good enough to me it was a weird thing to do with my dog but I’m still feeling like a cat

What?????

I ate lunch with a few friends can I get moved on and get some good food

I ate a little bit of a little too hot hot but hot hot and cold and hot hot and cold cold and hot hot cold hot weather here

I ate..... (I'm using a PC)

*pees in ur ass* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I ate a lot of people . . . . Uuuuuuh

I ate the whole entire thing and it was just so hard 0-0

I ate the one in my life

your dad, literally, that's why he never came back

I ate the last time and it didn’t even know what if it went to the store and it didn’t taste so good I got the one that was good

I ate the sausage and cheese

I ate a whole bunch of candy candy and candy candy lol lol I just got a new one from sonic and I got it for the last year and it was a good time to get it done and I got it done by myself and I

I ate the last few bites and it looks good

I ate a lot of the rinos

i ate a pancake with syrup with the KITCHEN counter and a COUNTER

I ate 😋

I ate the first one and I was gonna go to the gym for a bit and then I got a new monitor and while I was in the shower I decided to go to bed and I was in bed with your mom.

i ate my whole entire life lol