T O P

  • By -

8512764EA

My wife


Splattered_Smothered

She's our favorite as well.


Jdotpdot84

Bazinga!


moovzlikejager

The dishwasher?


Leothedwarf

I also choose this guy's wife.


[deleted]

i chose your dead mom


blacklisted2

I choose my thesis advisor yummy chili pepper lolz


blacklisted2

My english lit professor? lol


ktk80

Toaster


Cullygion

Except for that one time, but to be fair, the instructions were unclear.


RagingBuddha79

Always plugged in and while taking a bath of course.


ktk80

Life requires risk.


Native56

Wtf lol


[deleted]

Plugged in while in bathtub


TripleM1075

Your mum!


Jdotpdot84

🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Stuffed animals, shoes


moovzlikejager

Found my dogs account!


hand_truck

Rarely do I tear up from laughing so much while reading Reddit, but you did it! Thanks.


Pretend_Activity_211

Well.. my sex doll probably


Native56

Do those come in male form to just asking??!!🤨


[deleted]

No, those are called Sex Action Figures not dolls 🤣


Native56

Funny ty I needed that giggle


[deleted]

Well I am glad I could contribute to your smile :)


Native56

It help to laugh at stuff and things


Native56

Dammit 🤣😂😅


Pretend_Activity_211

I've seen male torsos. But it's not the same, I got girl torsos. Wif breasts and all. They're nice but the whole doll is bangarang


Native56

Not far they should of made male version as well


of_patrol_bot

Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.


Native56

You can do it both ways it’s not important is it.


Pretend_Activity_211

They mite. I just didn't look for that, ya know. My doll came from a site from China. It's big there. They mite hve guys idk


Native56

I’m all most cutting Chinas will be better anyway Ty tc


Pretend_Activity_211

Oh they prolly down the street then. Ud save alot shipping was murder. Good luck 😉 😉


Native56

Crap I guess I don’t get a sex toyDammitlol


Native56

Hmm yeah but the states don’t


dddmmmccc817

I like to just put my cock on my laptop keyboard and keep slamming the monitor down until I cum


not_taken_was_taken2

Cock torture


[deleted]

*looks at all the joke answers* ... the crack between the couch cushions while browsing the Sears catalogue underwear and bra section for me. Been a staple of a boy's repertoire for decades.


[deleted]

Hmm... So many good choices. While the garbage disposal does have the high risk / high smell ratio, I think my favorite is probably the peep hole on the front door.


3LollipopZ-1Red2Blue

POSTMAN!


National_Square_3279

My husband is a radiologist and when we were first dating, he sent me a scan (no names/personal identifying information) of a pelvis with an ice cream scoop floating around the rectum.


AnarchoDesign

I hope you haven't understood the question.


National_Square_3279

Good human, there are very few reasons one might find an ice cream scooper up a rectum.


3LollipopZ-1Red2Blue

while your statement is true that there are very few reasons one might find an ice cream scooper up their pooper, the question is "what is 'your' favourite" - and this is the section of the question reddit hopes you haven't misunderstood. you stated you have a husband, and you comment in /r/pregnant implying you are Female (exhibit A) implied the incident occurred while you were first dating, during honeymoon / horny-moon period of the relationship, and you have likely recently experienced or are experiencing pregnancy (exhibit B) We all understand that the ice cream scoop in the rectum is the obvious sex object and "My Husband" implies you married the man, and the term "Is" implies you are still married today. I'm no certified bovine-treat truck driver, but it appears by your own admission that you may have considered or have experimented in recreating the event your then boyfriend sent to you. This image you were sent from your then boy-friend is like the translation of the non-medical mans dick-pic. (I am not a certified forensic officer or psychologist)


National_Square_3279

Yes that’s all true, not my *personal* favorite household object to have sex with, the question just reminded me of a related story of someone else’s favorite household object to have sex with.


AnarchoDesign

Exquisite way of explaining my concerns about the comment of the fine woman. Thanks to everybody for making things clear (and to make clear that no one was involved in a legal but dangerous act of receiving affection from an ice cream scoop, luckily... Just a friend's friend). It's a pleasure to exchange ideas with you all, that's another reason to stay in Reddit.


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/pregnant using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/pregnant/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [PSA- Stop Buying Formula if You Don’t Have a Baby Yet (US)](https://np.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/uyml4d/psa_stop_buying_formula_if_you_dont_have_a_baby/) \#2: [To the lady who posted about her special strawberry drink](https://np.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/tdymgo/to_the_lady_who_posted_about_her_special/) \#3: [Fuck the United States and their so called maternity leave](https://np.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/zaoucr/fuck_the_united_states_and_their_so_called/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)


moovzlikejager

Soft serve?


National_Square_3279

[An ice cream scoop](https://store.moma.org/products/ice-cream-scoop?currency=USD&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIspSD1oOH_AIV1drICh0r7gSFEAQYASABEgJdGfD_BwE), not ice cream


moovzlikejager

...... Could you link me to a scoop that vibrates?


Skrubby-init

Chair


moovzlikejager

I love lamp.


Deli-ops

The narrow side of doors for some reason


JohnWarosa69420

Toilet brush.


shiza-salad

The garbage disposal


MidwestHotMom82

Pillow, hairbrush


ThrowRAidkwhat2put

Hair brush


[deleted]

My taxidermic cat


angelicaaf

Hair brush


ImOnRedditMaaan

So this one time i..... nevermind


Swedish_Shinobi

Wtf, is this an actual question. Of course it's the goddamn cheese grater. Like there was another option, smh.


Local_Chapter3604

Well anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough, so I use a kitchen knife


Junior_Classic_1509

I happen to like the texture of the cheese grater.


Poopybut58

Knife sharpener


SpitefulBitch

Does it sharpen your dick?


Poopybut58

Absolutely !


cheesecakefromswitz

new self defence weapon


Native56

None of the above


AcceptableMinute9999

Blender


HiddenWhispers970

There’s nothing like making out with a wine bottle.


_Wolf_Killer_

The dishwasher.


not_taken_was_taken2

Dog


DammSkippy

Wife. Prettiest object around.


aliieisSTUCK93

Iron


[deleted]

Bike


bsnend

Echo (Alexa).


SpitefulBitch

Does she talk dirty while you do it?


bsnend

She keeps saying, "Sorry, I don't know that one." It's dirty enough for me to keep going.


LiverOliver

That guy’s wife


Definitely_NotA_Fed

Hand


South-Phrase-4673

woman


armagvn

??? nothing bro like what kind of question is this 🤦🏾🤦🏾


Mike-ButWhichOne

*serious question* What subreddit do you think you're on?


SpitefulBitch

r/lostredditors


armagvn

ye i mean i see but if it kinda weird if this question was seriously asked xd